We could talk about the ESPN Rankings, but nobody gives sh*t that 1st Downs Syndrome won the rankings. Do the experts even know anything? We all know what really matters... the D.D.A - and if you don't like your ranking, then show the hell up to the draft!
D.D.A Rankings
1. Chips, Salsa, and Caucamole
Sleeper: Kyle Pitts - will this finally be the year he shows what he has always been capable of?
Question Mark: Jameson Williams - the question mark goes to last year's 22nd overall wide receiver, last I checked 28 WR's have to be rostered and this team has 3 in the top 22.
2. ARBL
Sleeper: Rhamodre Stevenson - his job is questionable - and he is boom or bust, sooooo you just never know
Question Mark: Tyreek Hill - could score 25/could score 5... plus we all know he didn't want to be in Miami at the end of last season
3. The J-Bones
Sleeper: Mark Andrews - if this old man can turn back the clock, he could be THE number one receiver in Baltimore
Question Mark: Omarion Hampton - cue McGregor's "Who the fook is this guy?"
4. Ertz when Eifert
Sleeper: Jordan Addison - what will he do when he returns from suspension?
Question Mark: David Montgomery - this TD vulture is very dependent on stealing redzone carries, and why would you ever want to take out the number 1 fantasy RB from last year (who has him?)
5. 1st Downs Syndrome
Sleeper: Isiah Pacheco - this guy has major upside, but could also bottom out - could easily end up top 20 RB this season if things pan out his way
Question Mark: Christian McCaffrey - obviously this is all dependent on injuries and if he can stay healthy - I am not betting on a 16 game season for CMC
6. 2 A.P.
Sleeper: Quinshon Judkins - if he is as good as he was college, could be good with not a lot of competition
Question Mark: Chuba Hubbard - let's be honest, can you really trust anyone that plays for the Carolina Panthers?
7. Cocaine Cowboys
Sleeper: Tyler Allgeier - a true handicap to his number 1 pick, should injury happen - this guy could be a monster
Question Mark: Trey McBride - does anybody love their TE more than Kyler Murray... but then again, it is Kyler Murray
8. Slender TD's
Sleeper: Dalton Kincaid - the starting job is his and there isn't a ton of superb receivers in Buffalo, lot of upside here
Question Mark: Breece Hall - who has more rushing yards this season Justin Fields of Breece Hall?
9. Tush Push
Sleeper: Matthew Golden - he has an opportunity to become Love's favorite target and Green Bay seems to never have any healthy WR's for him to fight with
Question Mark: Ashton Jeanty - could be good oooorrrrr could get absolutely murdered in Las Vegas
10. MAYEday
Sleeper: Deebo Samuel - once an absolute stud... could make a tremendous slot guy Jayden to throw the ball to
Question Mark: James Conner - the same could be said as was said for Breece Hall... Murray or Connor with more rushing yards at the end of the season?
11. Bootay Pirates
Sleeper: Brandon Aiyuk - has the talent to finish as a top 5 WR... but will he be utilized correctly?
Question Mark: Garrett Wilson - never trust a WR with Justin Fields as your QB... this is the guy who beat out by Mr. Unlimited last year
12. Barely Know Her
Sleeper: Emeka Egbuka - has all the potential in the world, but Tampa has a crowded WR room
Question Mark: Brian Thomas, Jr - when your team is kicking 70 yard field goals, how much faith do they have picking up first downs?
13. A.R.'s Finger
Sleeper: Keon Coleman - if Josh Allen decides to throw to a receiver if should go his way... the key word is "if"
Question Mark: Malik Nabers - I love Malik Nabers - I hate the Mr. Unlimited or the crab thief throwing the ball
14. Cleveland Steamers
Sleeper: Tetairoa McMillan - we don't know him and Scott picked him, soooooo he could be really good?
Question Mark: Ladd McConkey - long neck Ladd is still in a Harbaugh system that prefers to run the ball - do you want your starting WR with that happening?
Draft Notes:
Tush Push not only has the arguably the youngest team, with 3 rookies, they also selected back to back write-ins with Nick Chubb and Keenan Allen.
Nearly, half the picks in the first two rounds were RBs (13) and only 2 teams went RB/RB (Chips and Salsa and D. Syndrome).
Only, 3 teams did not select a RB in the first two rounds (2 AP/Steamers/ARFinger), with 2 AP taking their first RB in Round 3/Finger taking their first RB in Round 4/Steamers picking their first RB in Round 5 - 23 RB's were selected before their first RB.
Steamers selected the first defense (Denver Broncos) in round 10 and ARBL drafted the first K (Brandon Aubrey) in round 10.
Last Season's Top Performers and their draft position...
QB: Lamar Jackson, drafted 31st this year by ARBL
RB: Jahmyr Gibbs, drafted 4th this year by Chips and Salsa
WR: Ja'Marr Chase, drafted 1st this year by 2AP
TE: Brock Bowers, drafted 20th this year by AR Finger
DEF: Denver Broncos, drafted 135th this year by Steamers
K: Chris Boswell, drafted 189th this year by Ertz Eifert
In fact, let's break it down a little more....
I created a formula to rank players (only looking at QB/RB/WR/TE) for the upcoming season: (Last Year's End Rank+This Year's Projected Rank)/2. Obviously, this has some flaws in reference to injuries/trades/offensive scheme changes/etc. But what this essentially does is measure who grabbed the best ranked players in their position based on past and future. If the player on your team was not in the top selected quota, they were given a score of the max amount of players +10. Annnnnnddddd... since I am a golf coach, the lower the team score the better.
14. 1st Downs Syndrome: 33.89
13. A.R. Finger: 32.96
12. 2 A.P.: 32.89
11. Streamers: 31.79
10. Slender TD's: 31.36
9. Deez Lutz: 30.32
8. J-Bones: 30.25
7. Tush Push: 29.75
6. Bootay Pirates: 29.71
5. ARBL: 27.92
4. Cocaine Cowboys: 27.25
3. Barely Know Her: 26.29
2. Ertz when Eifert: 26.11
1. Chips and Salsa: 25.43
A few thoughts... clearly, this takes into consideration the bench heavily - since I averaged every player on your team and many of those players may never see the starting lineup. Also, if you were to draft a player that is a "handcuff" they have a higher upside than their score. However, the big issue was - what do you with rookies? They have no previous experience - so I gave them a middle of the pack rating for the previous year.... which did effect some teams for the good and some teams for the bad.
Either way, SUCK IT B*TCHES!
My final thought is a poem I just wrote...
As we sit on our golden thrones tinkering away
Switching players, adjusting lineups, what's the play?
The season is starting, who should I trade?
Is this the right start or is this a fade?
Don't worry, you are going to lose - my lineup belongs in the Louvre
And If I lose, I'll go crazy... I might even pull a Power Move
With Love
Commish
