2026 is UNDERWAY

Welcome back D-Bags! It is time for another year of football, which means job productivity goes down and toilet tinkering goes up! For you young guns, toilet tinkering is the act of fake pooping to avoid the family so you have some alone time to make the necessary adjustments to your fantasy team. Is it important to the season? Hell yes.

For those that don't know the rules to this league... 

One of the all-time great movies, if you haven't seen - you must watch before the completion of week 1. Now for our actual rules...

A) You must always try to win with your own team - no collusion. As long as you are constantly trying to win with your own team... everything is free game.

B) You don't get to vote on trades - once accepted between 2 managers, who also obeying rule A - I will push it through

C) Once your team is eliminated from playoff contention - your lineup is locked: no picking up players, no dropping players, and no trading

D) If you get offended easily... you can leave!

As we all know, the draft took place on Sunday and per ritual - the DDA followed. If you were not there, it was noted in the logs. Here are the rankings from the DDA - and yes, this is even more important than ESPN's liberal (as one manager put it) rankings.

1. Penias and Ferb - Was there ever a doubt this was happening?

??? = Chris Olave, 3rd round/30th overall/10th WR overall

ZZZ = Matthew Golden, 8th round/111th overall/46th WR overall

Dots = Javonte Willams/Jayden Daniels/Matthew Golden

Betting line = 11.5 wins

Player Prop = Jayden Daniels plays in all 16 (fantasy relevant games) and outscores Jaxson Dart by 100 points.

2. The J-Bones - An interesting argument could be made for the top spot of the DDA

??? = Malik Nabers, 3rd round/ 35th overall/13th WR overall

ZZZ = KC Concepcion, 10th round/134th overall/56th WR overall

Dots = Wan'Dale Robinson/RJ Harvey

Betting line = 11.5 wins

Player Prop = CMC and McBride combine to score 550+ fantasy points for the season.

3. Factory of Sadness - Top 3 is nothing to be upset about

??? = AJ Brown, 2nd round/18th overall/7th WR overall

ZZZ = Blake Corum, 8th round/102nd overall/37th RB overall

Dots = Isaiah Likely

Betting line = 10.5 wins

Player Prop = Blake Corum is starting running back by week 7

4. Tuten My Horn - Does having 2 sleepers help you move up in the DDA?

??? = Kyren Williams, 3rd round/29th overall/17th RB overall

ZZZ = Xavier Worthy, 9th round/116th overall/50th WR overall

ZZZ Deux = Rashid Shaheed, 11th Round/144th overall/60th WR overall

Dots = Jaxson Dart/Bhayshul Tuten/Travis Kelce

Betting line = 10.5 wins

Player Prop = Travis Kelce and Mark Andrews combine for 18 or more touchdowns for the season

5. Barely Even Know Her - Sometimes it pays to just lay low and let your team move up the rankings

??? = Rashee Rice, 2nd round/26th overall/9th WR overall

ZZZ = De'Zhaun Stribling, WHO THE FOOK IS THAT GUY?!?!?

Dot = Marvin Harrison Jr.

Betting line = 7.5 wins

Player Prop = Joe Burrow finishes as a top 3 fantasy QB

6. Ertz when Eifert - Catch the error with the marker... move up a spot!

??? = Breece Hall, 2nd round/21st overall/13th RB overall

ZZZ = Tank Dell, 10th round/133rd overall/55th WR overall

Dot = Tee Higgins

Betting line = 8.5 wins

Player Prop = Tee Higgins finishes as a top 20 fantasy WR.

7. Ankle Holster - It looks like the sleeper is already paying off

??? = Josh Jacobs, lucky if this dude plays this season

ZZZ = Marshawn Lloyd, 10th round/140th overall/48th RB overall

Dot = Rashod Bateman

Betting line = 8.5 wins

Player Prop = Josh Jacobs starts 7 games this season

8. Greatest Offense There is - This is where we begin to enter the bottleneck in the fight for the playoff starts

??? = Jeremiyah Love, 2nd round/23rd overall/14th RB overall

ZZZ = Brenton Strange, 11th round/146th overall/17th TE overall

Dot = Carnell Tate

Betting line = 7.5 wins

Player Prop = Jadarian Price outscores Jeremiyah Love in fantasy by the end of the season

9. Cleveland Steamers - A team made up of "Thirds"

??? = DJ Moore, 4th round/48th overall/21st WR overall

ZZZ = Josh Downs, 8th round, 104th overall/43rd WR overall

Dot = Luther Burden III

Betting Line = 7.5 wins

Player Prop = Luther Burden III outscores Rome Odunze in fantasy

10. Mounsey Zombies - first missed draft... first to be ranked 10th or lower - coincidence? 

??? = Derrick Henry - 2nd round/15th overall/10th RB overall

ZZZ = Romeo Doubs - 9th round/126th overall/52nd WR overall

Dot = Isiah Pacheco

Betting Line = 7.5 wins

Player Prop = Jordan Love starts 4 or more games for Mounsey Zombies

11. Shough me Jeanty - here's hoping to injury is the namesake player is nothing serious

??? = Ashton Jeanty - 2nd round/16th overall/11th RB overall

ZZZ = Tyler Shough - 9th round/125th overall/15th QB overall... Dontayvion Wicks - 14th round/184th overall/71st WR overall

Dot = Michael Wilson

Betting Line = 6.5 wins

Player Prop = Tyler Shough finishes inside the top 10 QB's for fantasy football

12. A.R's Broken Finger - Moved up one spot from last year's DDA... maybe a sign of things to come?

??? = Colston Loveland - 3rd round/40th overall/3rd TE overall

ZZZ = Kyle Monangai - 8th round/101st overall/36th RB overall

Dot = Jalen Coker

Betting Line = 6.5 wins

Player Prop = Kenneth Gainwell has more touchdowns than David Montgomery

13. My Team Sucks - Yes, yes it does

??? = Devon Achane - 1st round/10th overall/6th RB overall

ZZZ = Jalen McMillan - 12th round/159th overall/63rd WR overall

Dot = Harold Fannin, Jr

Betting Line = 5.5 wins

Player Prop = Brock Purdy is in the starting lineup more than Dak Prescott

14. Slender TD's - Who has 2 thumbs and auto-drafted their team? This guy did.

??? = Davante Adams - 4th round/52nd overall/23rd WR overall

ZZZ = Jordan Addison - 9th round/117th overall/51st WR overall

Dot = Travis Hunter

Betting Line = 4.5 wins

Player Prop = Brock Bowers finishes outside the top 3 TE's in fantasy football

Things to note:

Worst pick of the draft.... Rashee Rice (26th overall) (Barely Know Her). 

        There are a lot of picks that can be labeled as "reaches" - but every time I look over the Draft Recap, his name stands out. Rice has yet to play a full season and his QB is coming off a major knee injury. Not to mention the fact that the man shared a cell with Andy Dufresne in the offseason. There are just too many red flags to deal with when it comes to taking Rice over Nico/Pickens/Olave/Nabers... I think Rice would fit it in with the next group of WR (Devonta/G. Wilson/Egbuka/Tet/Waddle).

Best pick of the draft.... Jordan Mason (118th overall) (Greatest Offense)

        There are quite a few picks of the draft that you could argue - Tyler Allgeier (round 10), Marsahwn Lloyd (round 10), Justin Herbert (10th overall QB taken). However, there is a big belief that Mason overtakes Aaron Jones in Minnesota's backfield and that will create a lot of opportunity for a late round flyer. If that does happen, RB's who have played with Kyler Murray have comfortable finished inside the top 10 in PPG. Mason could find himself in a pretty good situation moving forward.

Wildest moment in the draft.... The Trade

        Ankle Holster and Tuten my Horn made a mid-draft trade that rarely gets executed. They swapped RB's: Josh Jacobs for Kyren Williams. On top of that happening, new was being released that Jacobs woul find himself on the NFL Commissioner's exempt list - which means he would not be seeing the field. Ankle Holster traded for Jacobs - then drafted Marshawn Lloyd (his replacement). Don't get me wrong this is a "homer" trade through and through - but there are rumors that Holster is going to try and piece together a team of woman beaters - Ray Rice is his next target.

Bets made during the D.D.D

        A) Ankle Holster v Factory of Sadness - $20 for the best record between the 2 teams. This hinges on if Josh Jacobs comes back and Green Bay is not a committee in the backfield. Lloyd could have a great start to the year and it could showcase that a committee is not a bad thing - which would spell disaster for Ankle Holster. Smart Money says to take the side of Factory... but this could be closer than you think.

        B) Jayden Daniels v Jaxson Dart - $20 for the most PPG. Some would say the Daniels side got a little hoodwinked, but they remain confident. In a season long battle the advantage is leaning heavier towards Daniels - who is projected to score nearly 30 more fantasy points than Dart and if comparing the rookie seasons... Daniels outscores Dart by over 100 points. However, none of that matters - it is a PPG battle and in this arena, someone like Isaiah Pacheco could outshine Bijan Robinson.

Let just get to the important things...

Week 1 Matchups

Matchup of the Week

Penias and Ferb v The J-Bones

These two teams are projected to have the closest battle and the score the most combined points in the matchup. Not to mention, they both received an "A" from liberal ESPN and they ranked 1 and 2 respectively in the DDA. In other words, this is for the early battle at the top.

Position Battle to Watch: J. Daniels v J. Hurts

        Hurts is favored to win the position battle by 5 points - which is a big swing in favor of The J-Bones. The interesting part is that the two QB's face off against each other. Ferb and the boys are putting a lot eggs in the basket of Daniels and this is a big opportunity to showcase all he can do.

How The J-Bones win: Perform like you did last year. Hurts averaged 18.7 ppg and scored 19.4 points against Washington last year. CMC averaged 24.5 ppg (but this LAR has a new look defense) last season. Swift and Nabers averaged 14+ ppg last season. Metcalf averaged nearly 13 ppg last season. McBride had 19 ppg last season. That brings The J-bones already over 100 points in a matchup and that doesn't include a FLEX/K/DEF - which could all combine for 30-40 points. That is going to be a tough total to bear.

How Penias and Ferb win: Heavy reliance on big output from the RB department. Gibbs and Williams need to be studs week-in and week-out. They will need to have a few usable outputs from the WR/TE department - but this team is going to rely on the studs running the ball.

Prediction: Penias and Ferb

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Cleveland Streamers v Mounsey Zombies

How Streamers win: The obvious answer would be the winning the receiving battle - but I actually think that the RB's is more key. This is going to be a big game for Walker - who is the reigning Super Bowl MVP, but now on a new team. The Chiefs will need to showcase their new weapon; and nobody does that better than Andy Reid. 

How Zombies win: Ravens have a big day on the ground against Indianapolis and their iffy run defense. Lamar and Henry are in line to have a big start to the season and if Zombies want a shot getting that first big win, it is going to come through them. If both Lamar and Henry can score 20+ points - this could be a good week for the Zombies.

Prediction: Mounsey Zombies

Mystery Guest: Mounsey Zombies

Slender TD's v A.R's Broken Finger

How Slender wins: Consistency. Often times fantasy football runs into who has the stud that had the biggest week - this team is different. They have a slew of guys that could easily score between 15 and 20 points each week. If they can get all 7 positional players in that range (which is not out of the question), they will get the win this week.

How Broken wins: WR's finding touchdowns. Lamb and Jefferson are both top 5 WR's skill wise - but the question becomes QB efficiency and opportunity. If they can get 10-15 targets each and both find the endzone... they both could realistically score in the upper 20's and that would be a tough tandem to take down.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's

Ankle Holster v Greatest Offense There is

How Holster wins: Reliance on the big 2 - there was a lot of flack being thrown around on D-Day about how early Josh Allen was taken. Now is the time for Mr. Backyard football to show he was worth it. Realistically, Allen and Robinson could combine for 60+ points. Realistically, that needs to happen if Holster wants a shot.

How GOT wins: Youngs guns need to show up. There is some pressure on Love/Tate/Price to show that they are the ready for the NFL - not to mention the fact that GOT is relying on it. Will Love's injury affect is opportunity share? Can the Titans get Tate the ball? Is Price ready to be a starter for the first time in his post-high school career? If the answer is yes to those questions - GOT wins this week.

Prediction: GOT

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Factory of Sadness v Nailor? I barely know her

How Factory wins: Live up to the hype. There has been a lot of hype building around the fantasy career of Caleb Williams and Chase Brown - they need to live up to it. Egbuka put a target on his back last season - when he exploded on the scene with Baker finding him deep (over 20+ yard) 20 times in 2025. These 3 players all saw their fantasy stock rise... show me it was worth it.

How Nailor wins: Stay healthy and stay on the field. Joe Burrow is a top 3 QB talent - if no the top guy, but availability is the best ability. Don't get hurt and stay alive. Rashee Rice should have a chip on his shoulder - I know he reads this blog and is not happy about being voted the worst pick of the draft - prove me wrong - stay out of trouble. MHJ - it is about time you showed up in any aspect of the NFL. 

Prediction: Factory of Sadness

Mystery Guest: Factory of Sadness

Shough me Jeanty v My Team Sucks

How Jeanty wins: Keep the position battles close. ESPN projects that Jeanty and Steelers DEF are the only position battles they should win - I don't buy it. Every battle is closer than it looks and in order for this team to have a chance, they need to stay close enough and win the right ones. I love Hampton in this spot - he needs to have a day and that is position battle that can be flipped.

How Sucks win: Harold Fanin Jr. It is weird to put everything on a black guy named Harold - but in reality he might be their top receiving target. The Browns definitely got worse in the off-season (losing Mr. Myles), so they should be in a passing script early. Fanin could have a day - correction, needs to have a day.

Prediction: Shough me Jeanty

Mystery Guest: My Team Sucks

Tuten my Horn v Ertz when Eifert

How Tuten wins: Wide Receivers. Chase is arguably one of the scariest players in fantasy football. When Burrow is healthy, Chase can score 30+ points in a heartbeat. Nico Collins doesn't need a QB to stay healthy... he needs to stay healthy. Nico has yet to play a full season of games - but when he plays, he is a likely candidate to get 10+ targets. These two need to have a big week for Tuten to get the win.

How Ertz wins: Goff and ARSB connection. These two need to combine for a touchdown this week - maybe 2. There are question marks throughout the line-up in terms of opportunity, injuries, age - but these two need to show up and show up together. ARSB is a top receiver in the league - but he is one of many weapons on the Lions offense. Goff needs to find the connection with ARSB early and often this week.

Prediction: Tuten my Horn

Mystery Guest: Tuten my Horn

As always, good to everyone - except you, The J-Bones - may your entire roster declare to be drafted in the WNBA and forever be stuck in the cycle of women's basketball hell.

With Love

Commish

 

The Grand Finale

And that is that.

The regular season is over and we have learned a few things...

A) I am a much better picker than the Mystery Guest.... that will be a drink of my choice - just head to your local gasery and pick-up any flavor of C4/Bang/Ghost Energy drink.

B) Sometimes, making moves really does help the process...

                  - Take ARBL for example: started off 1-3, made a few trades to get then go 3-1 the next four weeks and then battled from there to make the playoffs. 

C) Sometimes, making moves really does help the process....

                  - Take Frosted Flaccos (or whatever he is calling himself now), he has the most transactions through acquiring and dropping and he finished tied for 1st place.

D) Sometimes, going down with the ship is just that - going down....

                   - 4 of the 5 teams to not make a trade did not make the playoffs, The J-Bones being the only lucky survivor... and now he has to face Maye/CMC and the boyzzzzzzzz

E) It took us 14 weeks, but someone broke through into Record Books... thank-you formerly known as Project Tush Push for your willingness to only score 48.5 points.

Let's look at some End of the Year Awards

MVP: Trey McBride, TE - Bake it til ya Make it

I can hear it now, all the chatter about how it is stupid that a TE won MVP. But hear me out.... Trey McBride is outscoring the 2nd best TE by 5 points a week. Can you imagine going into every matchup with that type of advantage? To put it in perspective.... McBride would be the 4th best WR, 6th best RB, 8th best QB. Mcbride is also one of the most consistent fantasy contributors, he only had 1 week where he scored less than 10 points - and he scored 9.1 during that week. He could easily find himself being drafted in the 1st round next year.

Steal of the Draft: Javonte Williams, RB - AR's Finger

AR's Finger may have finished 2-12, but they still take home an award for having the best find. Javonte Williams was drafted in the 7th round and finished as the 12th best RB in the league. Let's put that in perspective... he was drafted as the 35th RB. He also finished with only 2 weeks less than 10 points which is something that any one of us would sign up for having in a 7th round pick!

Diamond in the Rough: Harold Fanin, Jr, TE - Cleveland Streamers

First off, Fanin has had a wild ride when it comes to the fantasy world in our league. He was drafted 219th in the 16th round and dropped two days later by Cleveland Streamers. Then 1st Downs Syndrome picks him up for about month before he drops him on October 10th. Cleveland Streamers picks him up two days later and Fanin finishes with Daddy Streamers.... back to the place he first started. Fanin, Jr is the 6th best TE and is averaging 11.1 points per week - definitely solid work for a pickup in a position that sometimes can be a crapshoot. 

Team to Beat: Nips and Salsa

There is always something about being the team to beat.... they usually get beat. Nips and Salsa have come close to winning the league before, but they have never been able to lift the Ron Jeremy. In 2016, they had a powerhouse team - only to get upset by a Kiddie Kisser. In 2018 they also had a banger of team, scoring in the top 5 most points scored in the league history... early exit in round 1. 2019 they were the 1 seed, scoring the most points in the league.... not even getting to the championship. In fact, of the past 10 years of the league this team has managed to make the playoffs 7 times... win the regular season 3 times, finish with less than three losses 4 times... all to only make the championship 1 time. Is this the year?

Trade of the Year: ARBL and Nips and Salsa

This trade consisted of...

3rd RB drafted

2nd QB drafted

4th QB overall (3rd at the time)

18th WR overall (12th at the time)

annnnddd WR who has his NFL contract and guarantees voided.

Now the reason why this trade was amazing, was the entire scenario to make it work. ARBL was 2-4 and needed a win in a bad way. Jackson was injured and ended up not playing for 4 straight weeks. Barkley was underperforming by a mile. On the other side, Nips were 6-0 and could afford taking a big swing. Sometimes it pays off - they bring in Jackson and Barkley, but in return they are giving Prescott - who outperformed Jackson heavily. In the end, both teams make the playoffs and both teams ended up scoring their season high in the final week - not too bad!

Now, let's look at the Playoff Predictions!!

The Guru's Predictions

For those curious.... Nips and Salsa is the prediction for the eventual champions and the hoisting of the Ron Jeremy Trophy!

Mystery Guests Predictions

Mystery Guest has Bootay Pirates lifting the trophy.

An interesting tidbit... both brackets have Bake it Til Ya Make it losing in the first round to ARBL. I know for me I felt like I needed some kind of upset to take place to feel good about my bracket.... most likely it will end up happening with Nips and Salsa failing (yet again) to fulfill their destiny.

At the end of the day, don't forget - there is more than just pride on the line....

Champion: $180

2nd place: $80

As always, good luck to all - except ALL OF YOU - may you be stuck in a never end loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 13 Results/Final Regular Season

There are few things to cover in this post, so I will get the first and easiest part of the post done quickly....

Week 13 Results....

Fantasy Guru (Me) predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives me a season record of 59-32.

The Mystery Guest also predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives him a season record of 48-43.

This means that the Mystery Guest will lose the prediction battle (we all saw this coming), so I will take a nice energy drink chilled a bucket of ice good sir! 

Now, there comes a point in a man's life when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and pump yourself up...

This is that moment... the final week of the regular season.

What we have going into the finale...

- The artist formerly known as Cocaine Cowboys has a win and you earn the top seed... Slender TD's need to win to have a chance... big matchup.

- Nips and Salsa most likely will not drop lower than the 2 seed, with a loss and 1st Down Syndrome outscoring them by 90 points being the only way. HOWEVER, if they win and Cocaine Cowboys lose... they have a great chance of getting the 1st seed.

- 1st Downs is almost assuredly locked in the 3rd seed.

- Bootay Pirates and The J-Bones can both more past Ertz/Eifert with wins and losses falling the right way, but in all reality these teams will probably fall in the 4-6 category. This means that most 2 of these teams will be playing each other in week 1 of the playoffs.

- The team formerly known as Tush Push is in the playoffs and has their odds set at -100000 to finish as the 7th seed. They will face with Nips and Salsa or formerly Cocaine Cowboys in week of the playoffs.

- And then that leaves us with.... ARBL/BEKH/Slender TD/2AP/Cleveland Streamers.... all fighting for a spot to be in the playoffs.

And it goes like this....

ARBL - win and you are in... they are actually favored in their matchup... could be a sign of good things to come!

Slender TD's - win and ARBL losses and you are in... Slender holds a large point scored margin over every team in this same position. Unfortunately, they also have the hardest matchup - but, hey... why not you?

2AP - win and ARBL and Slender lose and you are in... you are next in line when it comes to points and you shouldn't be caught after that. You have one of the closest projected matchups this week... could get a little dicy.

BEKH - win and the 3 teams above them have to lose for them to even have a chance... you also need to get outscored by ARBL this week - by more than 10 - or you are eliminated as well.

Cleveland Streamers - win and every other team above you loses and you are in... most likely not the case... but technically you are not eliminated yet. 

It is even crazier that each of these teams in the race also don't play one another in the final season. 5 teams in it and 5 different matchups to watch. What a life we live.

Matchup of the Week

Slender TD's (5-8) v AKA Cocaine Cowboys (11-2)

This is a big matchup for both teams for multiple different reasons. Cocaine wins they lock up the 1st seed for the playoffs. It is a good thing that Baker is playing the lowly Saints and the duo of Loop and Balt Defense are facing Pittsburgh (with a banged up Rodgers). On the flip side, Slender needs to win and have ARBL lose... If I am being honest, this is not the team you want to face in the first round of the playoffs. Mahomes/Puka/Henry/Hall/Harrison JR.... how is this team fighting for a playoff spot?!?!?

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... Going to have a big week!

Nips and Salsa (10-3) v AR's Finger (2-11)

Yeah, at this point... what do you do? AR... time to starting working your draft strategy for next season.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... ARF is just awful

Cleveland Streamers (5-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (9-4)

Technically, these teams could move around... but most likely not. As it stands....

Cleveland needs to win and a lot of teams to lose... most likely this team is out... but hey if Roberto Benigni can win an Oscar for Best Actor then as my good friend Kevin Garnett says, "Anything is possible!"

On the flip side, 1st Downs is most likely locked into the 3rd seed. Win or lose... they will get the 3rd seed unless a miracle happens and they win and outscore Nips and Salsa by 90 points who also loses to AR's Finger. However, for sake of predictions...

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... close, but going with the underdog (???)

BEKH (5-9) v AKA Project Tush Push (7-6)

Project Tush Push is in the playoffs and they made a trade for Daniel Jones and Aaron Jones.... jonesing for a Jones. Will this last second move help them make a run in the playoffs?? This week is irrelevant for the win/lose side for them... but it will be nice to see what Aaron Jones can do against a weak Washington defense. On the flip side, not too many people will be upset in De'Von Achane is not in the playoffs. He is a player that single handedly win you a matchup at any given time. Need a win and a lot of losses for BEKH to pull this thing off... unfortunately, I just can't trust Cam Ward to get the job done.

Prediction: AKA Tush Push

Mystery Guest: AKA Tush Push... both teams need a win

Ertz/Eifert (8-5) v ARBL (6-7)

This is the other big matchup that a lot of teams will be watching. If ARBL win, nothing else matters for the teams in limbo. This is a close matchup... but I just want it be said, ARBL won the trade involving Dak Prescott. Not only that, he might be the answer this week when it comes to getting a big win! Ertz/Eifert is spiraling and I know that these games are "meaningless" - but talk about limping into the playoffs. At one point they had a chance at the top spot, now they are not even going to finish in the top 3 and will end up facing a team that has scored nearly 100 more points than them all season long.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... big win after losing 3 straight

AKA Indiana Jones (4-9) v Bootay Pirates (7-6)

Every year there is one team that is screwed with points scored against... hello AKA Indiana Jones. Now, it may not look like much in the overall standings... the final stretch of opponents have been tough to swallow...

Opponents:

Week 13: Seattle Defense 28 points (5th highest point scorer that week)

Week 12: Gibbs and JSN being the 1st and 2nd top points scorers of the week... on the same team

Week 11: Josh Allen being the top points scorer of the week

Week 10: Johnathan Taylor being the top point scorer fo the week

So yes, the last 4 weeks have been a bit of a struggle for the boys... if you were a betting man you should pick one of Bootay Pirates' pirates to be the top point scorer of the week.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... another win against a subpar team

The J-Bones (7-6) v 2AP (5-8)

I will be honest, I like 2AP's chances a whole lot more if Hubbard was not on bye this week. It is ironic that The J-Bones picked up and waited for Joe Burrow and now he could be "the guy" that knocks out Chase. The J-Bones has a solid team... but 2AP did just beat Nips and Salsa to keep their dreams alive. Is this the team of destiny? Just for gits and shiggles, I am picking them to win this week and who knows what could happen after that!

Prediction: 2AP

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... close, but Mr. Football falls to 5-9

As always, good luck to every team - except for you AR's Finger - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 12 Results/Week 13 Predictions

This is going to be a loaded post.... so if you would like to skip by all the talk about how good my team is and how much my team would dominate if Lamar Jackson was not broken. Thus, he is still broken and ARBL is looking like a genius grabbing Prescott in that trade. For those wondering... about the supposed fleecing...

Points since the trade:

Nips and Salsa Received...

Lamar Jackson: 54.14

Saquon Barkley: 74.1

ARBL Received...

Dak Prescott: 96.66

Courtland Sutton: 52.7

Now, don't get me wrong - it doesn't always work out directly like this and I understand that... it matters who the replacement it is, the team make-up, etc. However, Lamar is getting out scored by nearly both players that Nips sent out. Not even close to the most lopsided trade made in the league.... let's take a look as some:

ARBL Received...

Chase Brown: 90.4

Terry McLaurin: Injury Riddled... played 1 week

Chig Okonkwo: 27.9

Ertz/Eifert Received...

Rhamondre Stevenson: Injury... then lost starting job 

Davis Njoku: 24.8

A trade involving players where have either been hit the injury bug or lost their starting job... the team that gets Chase Brown wins, and wins in a big way. 

The same can be said for the trades involving...

1st Downs Received...

Treveyon Henderson: 99.4

Brian Thomas Jr: Might be the biggest bust in fantasy football right now

BEKH Received...

Jayden Daniels: Pussyitus

Isiah Pacheco: Hasnt' played since week 8

Henderson is virtuality a must start every week now and if Jayden Daniels came back this would have been a fair trade. Unfortunately, the Commanders are most likely going to hold him out for longer than BEKH has time for. 

There were other trades... involving AR Finger/Indiana Jones - but truthfully, you get the point. At some point in the season you have to decide - do I go down with my ship or do I attempt to throw some water overboard and save what I can. Typically, when a team is in desperation mode they make some big swings and that is when the shark can circle up and wait. Trust me, I have been there... in my other league I traded Patrick Mahomes for Jordan Addison and Justin Fields. What an absolute dumbass! But hey, it doesn't matter we don't care about other leagues... you don't talk about the side chick to the main chick.

Here is a quick write-up for the results and then we will also jump into the breakdown for the predictions...

Matchup of the Week

ARBL (6-6) v Cleveland Streamers (4-8)

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... WRONG!!

Nips and Salsa (10-2) v Indiana Jones (4-8)

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (6-6) v Ertz/Eifert (8-4)

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (7-5) v Frosted Flaccos (10-2)

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

2AP (4-8) v Slender TD's (4-8)

Prediction: Slender TDs... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TDs... RIGHT!!

1st Downs Syndrome (8-4) v BEKH (4-8)

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Project Tush Push (7-5) v AR's Finger (2-10)

Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 55-29

Mystery Guest: 44-40

On to week 13 predictions.....

We have some new information when it comes down to the playoff push...

6 teams have now locked-up a spot for the playoffs:

Nips and Salsa

Frosted Flaccos

Ertz/Eifert

The J-Bones

Project Tush Push

1st Downs Syndrome

AR's Finger has been officially eliminated, which means no dropping/trading/waiver wire claims... but they can try to win their match-ups and play spoiler! A role that should not be taken for granted...

That leaves up with 7 teams fighting for 2 spots...

Bootay Pirates and ARBL are both 6-6 and the playoff spots are essentially their's.... unless something crazy happens. Indiana Jones does play Bootay Pirates in the final two weeks... 2 wins and you just might have a chance. On the flip side, ARBL has a tough task ahead... one win and they are for sure in... but they face Frosted Flaccos and Ertz/Eifert in their final matchups. Honestly, the matchups for the final 2 weeks are super interesting, here is where everything falls for the final 6 teams...

Bootay Pirates: Indiana Jones/Indiana Jones

- Easiest Path: 1 win and you are in

- Hardest Path: Lose both of the final two weeks, Indiana Jones/2AP/BEKH/Cleveland Streamers/Slender TD's win both weeks and outscore Bootay Pirates.... Slender is the closest team to out pointing them, but it is going to take a miracle for this to happen

ARBL: Frosted Flaccos/Ertz Eifert

- Easiest Path: 1 win and you are in... might actually be the hardest path with matchups that are left

- Hardest Path: The same as Bootay Pirates... only instead of being the 3rd highest points, they are the 3rd lowest points - pretty much hoping for a win or another team to not win the last two weeks

Slender/Streamers/BEKH/Indiana Jones/2AP

- All 4 of these teams need to win the final two weeks and need help from Bootay Pirates and ARBL.

- Indiana Jones holds half of the miracle for all of these teams in their hands... facing Bootay Pirates in both final weeks

- ARBL will be underdogs in both matchups... which means if one of these teams can win both weeks - there might be a better chance than what ESPN is giving them

If I were a betting man: Give me Bootay Pirates and Slender TD's to make the cut... I am obviously getting some pretty good odds with the Slender pick, but they have the firepower and they have the point difference.

Either way, you gotta win this week and you gotta hope for losses...

Matchup of the Week

Indiana Jones (4-8) v Bootay Pirates (6-6)

This is a big matchup for half of the league... and most of them are pulling for Indiana Jones. I hate to say it, but it just looks like a good week for Bootay Pirates... CeeDee Lamb plays KC who typically forces teams to throw the ball from blitz packages - but Dak ranks in the top 3 QBR's against the blitz. J-Herbo gets a comfy matchup against Las Vegas... avoid Crosby and you are golden. On the flip side, if Wan'Dale doesn't have another big week... this could be the end - an unfortunate occurrence after scoring the 2nd highest point total last week and still losing.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... making a playoff run and teaching a tennis coach what the true fall sport is at the same time!

Nips and Salsa (10-2) v 2AP (4-8) 

Not the team you want to face when you need to win out the rest of the season. Chase comes back from suspension and Waddle comes back from bye - things might be looking up! However, there is just too much firepower on the other side. Gibbs and JSN were the top point scorers across all positions last week and if Lamar Jackson can actually wake-up this team might go into the playoffs as being the odds favorite. Maybe we need to make a phone call to Sean Mcvay and have him start giving Kyren some more touches.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... fleeced (riiiiiight) everyone's team, will he choke in the playoffs?

AR's Finger (2-10) v BEKH (4-8)

This is a must win week for BEKH... typically this would be a great matchup for them, however - we all know how these things go. ARF has been eliminated from the playoffs, so now they are going to have their best week of the year. Truly, the lineups in this matchup are not that bad - the cookie has just not crumbled the correct way for these teams. Look for ARF to make someone else join them this week - unless Achane has 50 points. 

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: BEKH... battle of 2 bad teams, who cares?

1st Downs Syndrome (8-4) v Ertz/Eifert (8-4)

In the grand scheme of things, if we were picking the best actual matchup... this is the Matchup of the Week. On top of that, 1st Downs Syndrome might just be the darkhorse of the playoffs. Drake Maye is playing great football, CMC is the scrimmage yards king of the NFL, Bucky Irving is returning (hopefully), Henderson has taken of the starting role at RB. On the flip side, you have the man trying to chase down Maye for MVP (Stafford), ARSB (top 3 WR), Pickens (top 3 WR), Dowdle (top 10 RB). These are 2 playoff teams for a reason... you hate to say, but this might come down to forecasting the DEF and Kicker... give me Mr. Mevis (who is that guy?!?!?) for the win!

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... best players overall, close

Project Tush Push (7-5) v Slender TD's (4-8)

There legitimately might not be a scarier looking 4-8 lineup in the world than the Slender lineup. Mahomes, Henry and Hall, and Puka and Wilson (replacement for MHJ). How are those five players on the same team and still 4-8? Because the Chiefs have had a down year, Henry has not been the King, New Yorks offensive line couldn't play in high school, Puka was injured. But now? Now they are back. Luckily for Tush Push they already have their 7 wins... this is going to be a tough matchup for them.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Tush Push... by a bunch

ARBL (6-6) v Frosted Flaccos (10-2)

At some point, the top 2 teams fighting for the 1 seed are going to slip. Juuuuuussst probably not this week (at least for Frosted Flaccos). Every once in a while you get a TE that comes along and makes things almost unfair when it comes to fantasy lineups. Kelce was that for a couple years, Taysom Hill was that for one year (when he played QB, but you could slot him in TE), Marques Colston was that once upon a time. Trey McBride is now that - he would rank as the 6th best fantasy WR. Which really just gives Flaccos the freedom set their lineup however they please. Ohhhh yeah, and Bijan is a stud.

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos

Mystery Guest: Frosted Flaccos... glad he is at the middle school, we would hear all about it!

The J-Bones (7-5) v Cleveland Streamers (4-8)

There is a world where the final week means nothing, in terms of making or missing the playoffs. In order for that to happen, The J-Bones need a big win here. We do get to see if the long wait from the waiver wire pickup of Joe Burrow was worth it. If Burrow is the Burrow of ole, this team could make a deeper than expected run in the playoffs. Streamers is doing what they can to stay alive, but as long as McCarthy is QB - I just don't trust Jefferson. The hardest part about that situation, you just can't take him out of your starting lineup... not a guy like that. 

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... Shedeur is out there, maybe the Streamers pick him up?

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you 2AP - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 12 Predictions

There have officially been 4 "spots" locked up in the league...

Frosted Flaccos/Nips and Salsa/Ertz When Eifert are in the playoffs in some form of another and AR's Finger has been eliminated (which does lock your team - no dropping/waiver wire/trading - you rock with what you got).  Even though ESPN technically gives AR's Finger a 1 percent chance.... 

Yes, I went through all the possibilities and found a way for AR's Finger to make the playoffs... it is possible - it involves them winning out and the perfect breakdown of wins and losses from every team still fighting for a spot. If it happens, Bootay Pirates or Indiana Jones would be the other team. This is like The Avengers when Doctor Strange told Iron man there is only 1 way...

But we essentially, we have a 10 team race for 5 spots - let's break it down....

The J-Bones - favorite to be the next one to clinch a playoff spot... they won without Johnathan Taylor and now he is back in the office and ready to log in some hours. They also welcome back Chris Olave from the bye - which isn't too shabby... we just never know if we can trust the QB situation in New Orleans. One of the good things for The J-Bones is the fact they are currently winning pretty much any tie-breaker... they have actually scored the 3rd most points (as of this writing).

1st Downs Syndrome - if The J-bones done get it done first, you can pretty much count on this squad. They have the 4th most points scored in the league and are not that far behind 3rd place. Drake Maye is the front runner for NFL MVP, CMC is a dawg and if Treveyawn Henderson can do what did last week on a regular - this team is a serious contender.

Project Tush Push - next in line to secure a spot would be Project Tush Push. They have one of the easiest (if not the easiest) remaining schedules. They do not face a single opponent with a winning record... their destiny is in their hands and it is going to come down to the rookies and their performances. This week is a golden opportunity to get magic number 7.

After these 3 teams, that leaves 2 spots up for grabs for 7 teams to fight for. Some teams did what they had to do to stay in the race... but, the following team is on thin ice:

Slender TD's: One of the hardest schedules left of the teams battling for playoff spots. Slender has to be practically perfect - and 2 out of the 3 weeks involve playing a team with a winning record and ending with the current number 1 seeded team (Frosted Flaccos). Slender not only needs to win all three... they also need some help with the other matchups to fall their way in terms of who wins and loses.

We are now down to 6 teams - let's assume that the final seed will somehow squeak in with 6 wins... which leaves all 6 teams able to make it. Here are some interesting things to note for the final stretch...

A) Bootay Pirates and Indiana Jones play each back to back in the final 2 weeks. They are both firmly in the race and both teams have matchups against 3 of the teams that have already clinched their spot. Which means that in order for one of these teams to make it - they may need to sweep each other.

B) 2AP has an incredibly tough final stretch with matchups against 2 top teams in the final two weeks. Now with "Spit Gate" (also the name of last night's escapade) happening a Chase being possibly out this week - things just get that much harder for 2AP - but the rumor is, he likes it hard.

C) ARBL really needs to win this week... after this week they face-off against 2 of the 3 teams that have already locked up their playoff spot. The problem is their bench has been decimated with injuries - currently on their bench is 4 players either out or one the IR. They are able to make a completed lineup, which means anything can happen - but this is essentially a must win week.

D)  That leaves BEKH and Cleveland Streamers, neither one has a great schedule to end. BEKH does have one very winnable week - but both teams have matchups that they will be the underdog. It truly is amazing how open things are for these final spots. If I had to put money on it... I would say 1 team from these make-it... but not both! 

Matchup of the Week

ARBL (5-6) v Cleveland Streamers (4-7)

There are two really enticing matchups... obviously this is one of them. This matchup has a lot on the line for both teams... I predict that the winner of this matchup gets into the playoffs. This is not a spot clinching matchup - I just think it carries that much importance in the grand scheme of how final weeks will go. Let's talk about 2 teams that are carrying no bench: ARBL has 4 players out with injuries and Streamers has 5 empty/bye week spots. Streamers presents more firepower (Jefferson/Tetairoroirioiori/Kittle), but anything can happen. ARBL has tough matchups in terms of players going against tough defenses (New England/Philly/Cleveland). Things are not look good for ARBL, look for Streamers to leap frog them in the standings this week.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers

Nips and Salsa (9-2) v Indiana Jones (4-7)

This is a big matchup, but different reasons for each team. Nips is fighting for the number 1 seed and regular season champion crown. Indiana Jones is fighting for a playoff spot. You know what, I am just going to say this.... I don't understand ESPN projections. AJ Brown is being projected 16.3 points - he has only surpassed that 2 times this season. There is turmoil between AJ Brown and the offense. I just don't get it. Josh Jacobs is at least out this week for Indiana Jones, so it comes down the Danny Dimes against the KC defense. The Chiefs notably blitz on passing downs and attempt to make the opponent a little more one dimensional. I think that Indianapolis Colts will happily keep handing the ball to Taylor - but that doesn't help Dimes fantasy wise.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa

Bootay Pirates (5-6) v Ertz/Eifert (8-3)

Ertz/Eifert is coming off a big loss (one that may have knocked them out of contention for the 1 seed)... maybe they look to get a little revenge. Nothing better than getting a matchup that has you heavily coming after a loss. However, I just don't see that big of a disparity as the projections show. Maybe I am delusional? Or maybe ESPN should hire me, then I can suck my way to the top - to get my own show and I can make fun of sh*tty fantasy manager decisions on live television. Just a few blahhhhhs!! I digress.... I think Ertz/Eiferts wins - but it closer than what it seems ESPN thinks it should be.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates

The J-Bones (7-4) v Frosted Flaccos (9-2)

When we talk about big time matchups... this is one of them. The other possible choice for MotW... we get the 1st seed and top point scorer in the league against the 3rd seed and 3rd highest point scorer in the league. This matchup doesn't have a lot of effect on the playoff cut-off portion of the league - but it does carry some weight for the seeding game. This is also a battle between 2 of the top tier RBs in the league... JT v Bijan. Whichever RB wins that matchup will win their team the matchup... who has the better stallion?

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

2AP (4-7) v Slender TD (3-8)

I don't know if Slender paid someone in the Bengals organization to squeal about the "Spit Gate" - but it has shifted the tide for this matchup. To be honest, I would not mind seeing a team with Mahomes/King Henry/Puka be knocked out of the playoff push - but I just don't see it happening this week. Chase is suspended for this week, Waddle is on the bye.... it is essentially Josh Allen versus Slender - he likes those odds. At his point, let's see how much more wild sh*t Josh Allen can pull in his backyard session of football. It is like Josh Allen just decided to start a Youtube channel and film him and his buddies playing backyard football and they are going to try and just mess around and chuck it downfield..... only he is doing that in the NFL. 

Prediction: Slender TDs

Mystery Guest: Slender TDs

1st Downs Syndrome (7-4) v BEKH (4-7) 

This matchup pretty boils down to 2 things...

A) De'Vone Achan is on the bye

B) Christian McCaffrey is not on the bye

Any questions?

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome

Project Tush Push (6-5) v AR's Finger (2-9)

You want to know what makes things even more complicated for this whole playoff push? If Jackson Dart comes back and plays up to his standards, there is a good chance that AR's Finger wins this week. Let's just play that game out for him... in order to stay alive after this week he would need this scenario...

Winners:

Indiana Jones

Cleveland Streamers

Bootay Pirates

Slender TD's

1st Downs Syndrome

AR's finger

If any other combo hits that is these 6 teams winning... no bueno. Soooo, just to keep things interesting I am going with AR's Finger!

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Indiana Jones - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Results

We are reaching interesting times and fun weeks.... for some.

We have teams that have found ways to win and stay in the race and we have teams that have just let the opportunity slip away. 

AR Finger has been knocked out of the playoff run... the worst part? He finished in the top half of the league in scoring this week. Essentially, AR Finger beat half the teams in the league - just not the team he needed to beat. It is like a kid who is failing a class and he comes up to his teacher and asks what he can do to pass.... "Uhhhhh, do your work four weeks ago and turn it in. Can you make that happen?"

If you feel lonely ARF... don't worry - you won't be the only one eliminated for long. Some of these teams did what they needed to do to stay in it... but we are looking at a "doormie" situation.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-3) v Nips and Salsa (9-2)

The big question.... is this the year for The Nips? Most likely not. If he wants to feel good about this year - he needs to score a bunch points and win the regular season. Obviously, this was not Ertz/Eifert's week - but hey, get that out of the way this year. Nips did not have the best week... but it was a weird week with the NFL. Either way, this one went about as we expected... minus the ARSB scoring 6 points and Lamar scoring 4.7 points. However, when there is depth in a roster - points can come from a lot of places... JSN and C. Watson both carried the team with 20 points. Who would have thought that a team with Barkley/Gibbs/Kyren and they are carried by the receivers? Scary thought.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers (4-7) v Proj. Tush Push (6-5)

Talk about a big win for the Streamers... Holy Tetarioiaoioaioaoi!! McMillan had 2 touchdowns all season going into this week and he doubled that total on one Sunday afternoon. To follow that up, George Kittle is really good at what he does and the 49ers offense as a whole looks pretty dang good with Purdy under center. CMC is always going to be the guy in the offense, but Kittle is pretty much the number 2 guy in that offense. On the flip side, no one showed up (outside of Drake London) for Project Tush Push. In a week that should helped separate Tush Push... he only find himself even more in the mud.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Indiana Jones (4-7) v 2AP (4-7)

Who is the one guy you don't want to see on the opposite side going down the stretch? For me, it is Josh Allen. No matter how the vote goes down, he is the genuine MVP of the NFL. If you take him off the Buffalo Bills they are a mid-level to bottom tier team. With him, they are a contender. Kind of like in fantasy football. Take Josh Allen off this team... ehhhhhhhhh. With him.... watch out, watch out, watch out. On the flip side, Josh Jacobs has now created a tough situation for Jones. With a big loss this week - there is hole that needs filled as we come down the stretch. A Josh Jacobs size hole.

Prediction: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Frosted Flaccos (9-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-6)

I am a devoted Indianapolis Colts fan and I love Johnathan Taylor. However, if you took every player off their current team and did a complete restart draft.... I would take Bijan Robinson as the number one RB. I love his game and his versatility. On top of having him, Trey McBride is the top dawg when it comes to TE. The Frosted Flaccos might be the favorite to win the league and win the coveted Ron Jeremy trophy. Who doesn't want that thing decorating their room... apparently Bootay Pirates doesn't.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Slender TD's (3-8) v ARBL (5-6)

Annnnnnnnddddd..... this was another match that could have ended a team's season - but noooooo they decide to wake-up and have a monster week. You really start to ask yourself, "Where was this before?" Well, it might be the fact that Michael Wilson scored more than Marvin Harrison Jr ever scored. Derrick Henry actually had a game that King Henry approved. On the flip side, just a dud week for ARBL - gotta be better next week. After this week there will be 7 teams within 2 games of each other... and 5-6 find themselves right in the middle of it.

Prediction: ARBL... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!

BEKH (4-7) v The J-Bones (7-4)

It has gotta be a good feeling to get a win with Johnathan Taylor on the bye. Surrrreeee, you didn't break 100 points and you won because the other team absolutely sucked this week. But hey, getting a win is incredibly important at this stage in the game. Long Neck Mills did his job and found Nico in the end zone to help him be the matchup leader in points. The crazier part - this matchup had to look so promising after the game over the pond. Achane comes out of that slugfest with 21.5 points - amazingly still 6 points short of his projections.... ESPN is stupid. All I know, BEKH spoiled a great chance to get a win against a top team with their top player out.

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH... WRONG!!

AR's Finger (2-9) v 1st Downs Syndrome (7-4)

I already touched on the end to Finger's season... but they can still play spoiler. The more interesting part is how good 1st Downs looks. If Henderson can keep doing what he did this week - this team is one of the favorites to win it all. Maye is the current MVP favorite (although not for long with Josh Allen breathing down his neck). CMC is healthy and that equals extremely good. After that, just show up and score close to 10 points. 1st Downs has a legitimate case to make a run, it needs help to win the regular season - but who cares about that? Everybody remembers Eli's Giants because they beat the New England Patriots when they were undefeated, nobody cares that the Patriots were undefeated.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Season: 51-26

Mystery Guest: 4-37

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Predictions

I truly don't remember the last time something like this has happened in our fantasy league. In fact there has never been a time when we have had a 3-way tie at the top of the league with a record of 8-2 or better. We have 3 teams that have already all but locked up their spot in the playoffs and they are now battling for the top seed. I am sure something crazy will happen and this race will get muddy and crazy - but as it stands, we almost have 6 of the 14 teams with their spots locked up. That means that the other 8 are the only ones really fighting for spots. Let's play this game out....

There are 4 weeks left and this is what we like to call the Big Penis Predictor...

Raging Boner

Frosted Flaccos

Nips and Salsa

Ertz/Eifert

All 3 of these teams have 8 wins and 1 more win for sure locks them in the playoffs, but that is not necessarily needed. They most likely are already in with 8 wins, you never know - something tragic could happen (but they are most likely in).

Chubby

Project Tush Push

1st Downs Syndrome

The J-Bones

These teams should get it, but it will be interesting down the stretch where they finish. The J-Bones have to survive this week without Johnathan Taylor and their last 2 weeks are favorable. The other 2 teams are technically still fighting for a top spot in the league, 1st Downs has 3 comfy matchups - but Tush Push should be favored in every matchup from here to the end. Destiny is in their hands for making the playoffs, but they will need help to get the top spot.

Floppy and Limp

ARBL

Bootay Pirates

Indiana Jones

BEKH

2 of these teams need to get in (assuming the Inward Sockets are dead to rights), but nobody knows who it will be. This is where the big-time playoff push is focused, the remaining 4 weeks will be fun for these four teams.

Inward Socket

A.R.'s Finger

Slender TD's

Cleveland Streamers

2AP

All 3 of these teams are sitting at 3-7 or worse, ARF and Slender are sitting at 2-8 and they need to run the table and get lucky with some teams losing. Those two teams are technically still in it - buuuutttttt don't hold your breath. The other 2 teams (2AP and Streamers) could run the table and get to 7-7, but their remaining schedules are not favorable and it just feels like a year that you need 8 wins to get in.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-2) v Nips and Salsa (8-2)

Is this going to be the week that Nips and Salsa win a belt? Bettors say no. Is Ertz/Eifert going to stay hot and squeak out another win? Bettors also say no. Looks for the big 3 (Gibbs/Williams/Barkley) to carry the boats and everyone else to chip-in where they can. It is crazy to call those the big 3 and you still have Lamar/JSN/Bower in the lineup... but then you look at the other side of the matchup and St. Brown and Dowdle also provide their own special kind of firepower. Should be entertaining to see which wins... momentum or lineups?

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Who is stopping this team? He has fleeced all the good players."

Cleveland Streamers (2-8) v Proj. Tush Push (6-4)

There is an edge for Tush Push, but I will be honest - I would not want to play the Streamers down the stretch. The idea that Jefferson/McConkey/Kittle are all three on a team that is struggling is crazy. This trio provides big-time plays and plenty of opportunity. Not to mention that those three players also have very comfy matchups... look for Cleveland Streamers to play the role of spoilers and keep their slim chances alive in the playoff race.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Just like Cleveland, Streamers can't buy a win!

Indiana Jones (4-6) v 2AP (3-7)

Chase returns for 2AP, but they have yet to figure out the RB situation. On the flip side, is Indiana Jones the highest projected point total in the league? Yes. However, they have only ever eclipsed that point total 1 time this season. Either ESPN has just stopped caring about updating some of the predictions or these are just the most comfy matchups across the league. The other crazy stat to note... Dallas Goedert is actually averaging more than AJ Brown but project to be outscored by nearly 4 points - good thing they are on the same team.

Prediction: Indiana Jones

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... Somebody tell 2AP to just give it up now

Frosted Flaccos (8-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-5)

Is this the day that more than 1 of the "Raging Boner" teams lose? The other two are playing each other and if Bootay Pirates can pull off the upset, that might just happen. The issue is that Kelce and Rice are going against Denver's defense... who have given up 15 or less points in the last 2 weeks. If they have big games, Bootay could really do it. Maybe it is wishful thinking to slim up the herd in the front, maybe it is CeeDee Lamb getting to go against a week Las Vegas defense - but I am thinking that this is the Pirates week!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... Jump on the Pain Train, Bootay by a bunch

Slender TD's (2-8) v ARBL (5-5)

2 things to note in this matchup...

A) Slender has 2 kickers on their roster... bold move

B) Injuries are killing Slender's lineup right now

For those reasons, I am out.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: ARBL... "Loss number 7 for Slender" (No idea what this means_

BEKH (4-6) v The J-Bones (6-4)

This is a bad week for The J-Bones, not only are they missing Johnathan Taylor - but they are also missing Olave. A loss this week would all but kill The J-Bones chances to win the top seed, but they should still be fine to make the playoffs. On the flip side, if BEKH can pull off the win this week - it would go a long way to help their case in the playoff push. Truthfully, BEKH's lineup is not that bad... I would not want to play them in week 1 of the playoffs (if they get in).

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "The J-Bones have too many players on bye"

A.R.'s Finger (2-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (6-4)

I talked to the GM of ARF earlier this week and they openly said, "We have the worst team in the league." I would disagree with that statement, but it is a boom or bust type lineup. Some of these players have the potential to score in the 20's, but their floor is also extremely low. That makes for a scary team to play when you are in the middle of a playoff race. However, 1st Downs Syndrome is touting the new NFL MVP favorite (Maye) alongside CMC - I am not picking against those two.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easy win with D. Maye"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Ertz/Eifert - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish