There are few things to cover in this post, so I will get the first and easiest part of the post done quickly....
Week 13 Results....
Fantasy Guru (Me) predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives me a season record of 59-32.
The Mystery Guest also predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives him a season record of 48-43.
This means that the Mystery Guest will lose the prediction battle (we all saw this coming), so I will take a nice energy drink chilled a bucket of ice good sir!
Now, there comes a point in a man's life when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and pump yourself up...
This is that moment... the final week of the regular season.
What we have going into the finale...
- The artist formerly known as Cocaine Cowboys has a win and you earn the top seed... Slender TD's need to win to have a chance... big matchup.
- Nips and Salsa most likely will not drop lower than the 2 seed, with a loss and 1st Down Syndrome outscoring them by 90 points being the only way. HOWEVER, if they win and Cocaine Cowboys lose... they have a great chance of getting the 1st seed.
- 1st Downs is almost assuredly locked in the 3rd seed.
- Bootay Pirates and The J-Bones can both more past Ertz/Eifert with wins and losses falling the right way, but in all reality these teams will probably fall in the 4-6 category. This means that most 2 of these teams will be playing each other in week 1 of the playoffs.
- The team formerly known as Tush Push is in the playoffs and has their odds set at -100000 to finish as the 7th seed. They will face with Nips and Salsa or formerly Cocaine Cowboys in week of the playoffs.
- And then that leaves us with.... ARBL/BEKH/Slender TD/2AP/Cleveland Streamers.... all fighting for a spot to be in the playoffs.
And it goes like this....
ARBL - win and you are in... they are actually favored in their matchup... could be a sign of good things to come!
Slender TD's - win and ARBL losses and you are in... Slender holds a large point scored margin over every team in this same position. Unfortunately, they also have the hardest matchup - but, hey... why not you?
2AP - win and ARBL and Slender lose and you are in... you are next in line when it comes to points and you shouldn't be caught after that. You have one of the closest projected matchups this week... could get a little dicy.
BEKH - win and the 3 teams above them have to lose for them to even have a chance... you also need to get outscored by ARBL this week - by more than 10 - or you are eliminated as well.
Cleveland Streamers - win and every other team above you loses and you are in... most likely not the case... but technically you are not eliminated yet.
It is even crazier that each of these teams in the race also don't play one another in the final season. 5 teams in it and 5 different matchups to watch. What a life we live.
Matchup of the WeekSlender TD's (5-8) v AKA Cocaine Cowboys (11-2)
This is a big matchup for both teams for multiple different reasons. Cocaine wins they lock up the 1st seed for the playoffs. It is a good thing that Baker is playing the lowly Saints and the duo of Loop and Balt Defense are facing Pittsburgh (with a banged up Rodgers). On the flip side, Slender needs to win and have ARBL lose... If I am being honest, this is not the team you want to face in the first round of the playoffs. Mahomes/Puka/Henry/Hall/Harrison JR.... how is this team fighting for a playoff spot?!?!?
Prediction: Slender TD's
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... Going to have a big week!
Nips and Salsa (10-3) v AR's Finger (2-11)
Yeah, at this point... what do you do? AR... time to starting working your draft strategy for next season.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... ARF is just awful
Cleveland Streamers (5-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (9-4)
Technically, these teams could move around... but most likely not. As it stands....
Cleveland needs to win and a lot of teams to lose... most likely this team is out... but hey if Roberto Benigni can win an Oscar for Best Actor then as my good friend Kevin Garnett says, "Anything is possible!"
On the flip side, 1st Downs is most likely locked into the 3rd seed. Win or lose... they will get the 3rd seed unless a miracle happens and they win and outscore Nips and Salsa by 90 points who also loses to AR's Finger. However, for sake of predictions...
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... close, but going with the underdog (???)
BEKH (5-9) v AKA Project Tush Push (7-6)
Project Tush Push is in the playoffs and they made a trade for Daniel Jones and Aaron Jones.... jonesing for a Jones. Will this last second move help them make a run in the playoffs?? This week is irrelevant for the win/lose side for them... but it will be nice to see what Aaron Jones can do against a weak Washington defense. On the flip side, not too many people will be upset in De'Von Achane is not in the playoffs. He is a player that single handedly win you a matchup at any given time. Need a win and a lot of losses for BEKH to pull this thing off... unfortunately, I just can't trust Cam Ward to get the job done.
Prediction: AKA Tush Push
Mystery Guest: AKA Tush Push... both teams need a win
Ertz/Eifert (8-5) v ARBL (6-7)
This is the other big matchup that a lot of teams will be watching. If ARBL win, nothing else matters for the teams in limbo. This is a close matchup... but I just want it be said, ARBL won the trade involving Dak Prescott. Not only that, he might be the answer this week when it comes to getting a big win! Ertz/Eifert is spiraling and I know that these games are "meaningless" - but talk about limping into the playoffs. At one point they had a chance at the top spot, now they are not even going to finish in the top 3 and will end up facing a team that has scored nearly 100 more points than them all season long.
Prediction: ARBL
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... big win after losing 3 straight
AKA Indiana Jones (4-9) v Bootay Pirates (7-6)
Every year there is one team that is screwed with points scored against... hello AKA Indiana Jones. Now, it may not look like much in the overall standings... the final stretch of opponents have been tough to swallow...
Opponents:
Week 13: Seattle Defense 28 points (5th highest point scorer that week)
Week 12: Gibbs and JSN being the 1st and 2nd top points scorers of the week... on the same team
Week 11: Josh Allen being the top points scorer of the week
Week 10: Johnathan Taylor being the top point scorer fo the week
So yes, the last 4 weeks have been a bit of a struggle for the boys... if you were a betting man you should pick one of Bootay Pirates' pirates to be the top point scorer of the week.
Prediction: Bootay Pirates
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... another win against a subpar team
The J-Bones (7-6) v 2AP (5-8)
I will be honest, I like 2AP's chances a whole lot more if Hubbard was not on bye this week. It is ironic that The J-Bones picked up and waited for Joe Burrow and now he could be "the guy" that knocks out Chase. The J-Bones has a solid team... but 2AP did just beat Nips and Salsa to keep their dreams alive. Is this the team of destiny? Just for gits and shiggles, I am picking them to win this week and who knows what could happen after that!
Prediction: 2AP
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... close, but Mr. Football falls to 5-9
As always, good luck to every team - except for you AR's Finger - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!
With Love
Commish
