Week 11 Results

We are reaching interesting times and fun weeks.... for some.

We have teams that have found ways to win and stay in the race and we have teams that have just let the opportunity slip away. 

AR Finger has been knocked out of the playoff run... the worst part? He finished in the top half of the league in scoring this week. Essentially, AR Finger beat half the teams in the league - just not the team he needed to beat. It is like a kid who is failing a class and he comes up to his teacher and asks what he can do to pass.... "Uhhhhh, do your work four weeks ago and turn it in. Can you make that happen?"

If you feel lonely ARF... don't worry - you won't be the only one eliminated for long. Some of these teams did what they needed to do to stay in it... but we are looking at a "doormie" situation.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-3) v Nips and Salsa (9-2)

The big question.... is this the year for The Nips? Most likely not. If he wants to feel good about this year - he needs to score a bunch points and win the regular season. Obviously, this was not Ertz/Eifert's week - but hey, get that out of the way this year. Nips did not have the best week... but it was a weird week with the NFL. Either way, this one went about as we expected... minus the ARSB scoring 6 points and Lamar scoring 4.7 points. However, when there is depth in a roster - points can come from a lot of places... JSN and C. Watson both carried the team with 20 points. Who would have thought that a team with Barkley/Gibbs/Kyren and they are carried by the receivers? Scary thought.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers (4-7) v Proj. Tush Push (6-5)

Talk about a big win for the Streamers... Holy Tetarioiaoioaioaoi!! McMillan had 2 touchdowns all season going into this week and he doubled that total on one Sunday afternoon. To follow that up, George Kittle is really good at what he does and the 49ers offense as a whole looks pretty dang good with Purdy under center. CMC is always going to be the guy in the offense, but Kittle is pretty much the number 2 guy in that offense. On the flip side, no one showed up (outside of Drake London) for Project Tush Push. In a week that should helped separate Tush Push... he only find himself even more in the mud.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Indiana Jones (4-7) v 2AP (4-7)

Who is the one guy you don't want to see on the opposite side going down the stretch? For me, it is Josh Allen. No matter how the vote goes down, he is the genuine MVP of the NFL. If you take him off the Buffalo Bills they are a mid-level to bottom tier team. With him, they are a contender. Kind of like in fantasy football. Take Josh Allen off this team... ehhhhhhhhh. With him.... watch out, watch out, watch out. On the flip side, Josh Jacobs has now created a tough situation for Jones. With a big loss this week - there is hole that needs filled as we come down the stretch. A Josh Jacobs size hole.

Prediction: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Frosted Flaccos (9-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-6)

I am a devoted Indianapolis Colts fan and I love Johnathan Taylor. However, if you took every player off their current team and did a complete restart draft.... I would take Bijan Robinson as the number one RB. I love his game and his versatility. On top of having him, Trey McBride is the top dawg when it comes to TE. The Frosted Flaccos might be the favorite to win the league and win the coveted Ron Jeremy trophy. Who doesn't want that thing decorating their room... apparently Bootay Pirates doesn't.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Slender TD's (3-8) v ARBL (5-6)

Annnnnnnnddddd..... this was another match that could have ended a team's season - but noooooo they decide to wake-up and have a monster week. You really start to ask yourself, "Where was this before?" Well, it might be the fact that Michael Wilson scored more than Marvin Harrison Jr ever scored. Derrick Henry actually had a game that King Henry approved. On the flip side, just a dud week for ARBL - gotta be better next week. After this week there will be 7 teams within 2 games of each other... and 5-6 find themselves right in the middle of it.

Prediction: ARBL... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!

BEKH (4-7) v The J-Bones (7-4)

It has gotta be a good feeling to get a win with Johnathan Taylor on the bye. Surrrreeee, you didn't break 100 points and you won because the other team absolutely sucked this week. But hey, getting a win is incredibly important at this stage in the game. Long Neck Mills did his job and found Nico in the end zone to help him be the matchup leader in points. The crazier part - this matchup had to look so promising after the game over the pond. Achane comes out of that slugfest with 21.5 points - amazingly still 6 points short of his projections.... ESPN is stupid. All I know, BEKH spoiled a great chance to get a win against a top team with their top player out.

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH... WRONG!!

AR's Finger (2-9) v 1st Downs Syndrome (7-4)

I already touched on the end to Finger's season... but they can still play spoiler. The more interesting part is how good 1st Downs looks. If Henderson can keep doing what he did this week - this team is one of the favorites to win it all. Maye is the current MVP favorite (although not for long with Josh Allen breathing down his neck). CMC is healthy and that equals extremely good. After that, just show up and score close to 10 points. 1st Downs has a legitimate case to make a run, it needs help to win the regular season - but who cares about that? Everybody remembers Eli's Giants because they beat the New England Patriots when they were undefeated, nobody cares that the Patriots were undefeated.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Season: 51-26

Mystery Guest: 4-37

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Predictions

I truly don't remember the last time something like this has happened in our fantasy league. In fact there has never been a time when we have had a 3-way tie at the top of the league with a record of 8-2 or better. We have 3 teams that have already all but locked up their spot in the playoffs and they are now battling for the top seed. I am sure something crazy will happen and this race will get muddy and crazy - but as it stands, we almost have 6 of the 14 teams with their spots locked up. That means that the other 8 are the only ones really fighting for spots. Let's play this game out....

There are 4 weeks left and this is what we like to call the Big Penis Predictor...

Raging Boner

Frosted Flaccos

Nips and Salsa

Ertz/Eifert

All 3 of these teams have 8 wins and 1 more win for sure locks them in the playoffs, but that is not necessarily needed. They most likely are already in with 8 wins, you never know - something tragic could happen (but they are most likely in).

Chubby

Project Tush Push

1st Downs Syndrome

The J-Bones

These teams should get it, but it will be interesting down the stretch where they finish. The J-Bones have to survive this week without Johnathan Taylor and their last 2 weeks are favorable. The other 2 teams are technically still fighting for a top spot in the league, 1st Downs has 3 comfy matchups - but Tush Push should be favored in every matchup from here to the end. Destiny is in their hands for making the playoffs, but they will need help to get the top spot.

Floppy and Limp

ARBL

Bootay Pirates

Indiana Jones

BEKH

2 of these teams need to get in (assuming the Inward Sockets are dead to rights), but nobody knows who it will be. This is where the big-time playoff push is focused, the remaining 4 weeks will be fun for these four teams.

Inward Socket

A.R.'s Finger

Slender TD's

Cleveland Streamers

2AP

All 3 of these teams are sitting at 3-7 or worse, ARF and Slender are sitting at 2-8 and they need to run the table and get lucky with some teams losing. Those two teams are technically still in it - buuuutttttt don't hold your breath. The other 2 teams (2AP and Streamers) could run the table and get to 7-7, but their remaining schedules are not favorable and it just feels like a year that you need 8 wins to get in.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-2) v Nips and Salsa (8-2)

Is this going to be the week that Nips and Salsa win a belt? Bettors say no. Is Ertz/Eifert going to stay hot and squeak out another win? Bettors also say no. Looks for the big 3 (Gibbs/Williams/Barkley) to carry the boats and everyone else to chip-in where they can. It is crazy to call those the big 3 and you still have Lamar/JSN/Bower in the lineup... but then you look at the other side of the matchup and St. Brown and Dowdle also provide their own special kind of firepower. Should be entertaining to see which wins... momentum or lineups?

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Who is stopping this team? He has fleeced all the good players."

Cleveland Streamers (2-8) v Proj. Tush Push (6-4)

There is an edge for Tush Push, but I will be honest - I would not want to play the Streamers down the stretch. The idea that Jefferson/McConkey/Kittle are all three on a team that is struggling is crazy. This trio provides big-time plays and plenty of opportunity. Not to mention that those three players also have very comfy matchups... look for Cleveland Streamers to play the role of spoilers and keep their slim chances alive in the playoff race.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Just like Cleveland, Streamers can't buy a win!

Indiana Jones (4-6) v 2AP (3-7)

Chase returns for 2AP, but they have yet to figure out the RB situation. On the flip side, is Indiana Jones the highest projected point total in the league? Yes. However, they have only ever eclipsed that point total 1 time this season. Either ESPN has just stopped caring about updating some of the predictions or these are just the most comfy matchups across the league. The other crazy stat to note... Dallas Goedert is actually averaging more than AJ Brown but project to be outscored by nearly 4 points - good thing they are on the same team.

Prediction: Indiana Jones

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... Somebody tell 2AP to just give it up now

Frosted Flaccos (8-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-5)

Is this the day that more than 1 of the "Raging Boner" teams lose? The other two are playing each other and if Bootay Pirates can pull off the upset, that might just happen. The issue is that Kelce and Rice are going against Denver's defense... who have given up 15 or less points in the last 2 weeks. If they have big games, Bootay could really do it. Maybe it is wishful thinking to slim up the herd in the front, maybe it is CeeDee Lamb getting to go against a week Las Vegas defense - but I am thinking that this is the Pirates week!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... Jump on the Pain Train, Bootay by a bunch

Slender TD's (2-8) v ARBL (5-5)

2 things to note in this matchup...

A) Slender has 2 kickers on their roster... bold move

B) Injuries are killing Slender's lineup right now

For those reasons, I am out.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: ARBL... "Loss number 7 for Slender" (No idea what this means_

BEKH (4-6) v The J-Bones (6-4)

This is a bad week for The J-Bones, not only are they missing Johnathan Taylor - but they are also missing Olave. A loss this week would all but kill The J-Bones chances to win the top seed, but they should still be fine to make the playoffs. On the flip side, if BEKH can pull off the win this week - it would go a long way to help their case in the playoff push. Truthfully, BEKH's lineup is not that bad... I would not want to play them in week 1 of the playoffs (if they get in).

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "The J-Bones have too many players on bye"

A.R.'s Finger (2-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (6-4)

I talked to the GM of ARF earlier this week and they openly said, "We have the worst team in the league." I would disagree with that statement, but it is a boom or bust type lineup. Some of these players have the potential to score in the 20's, but their floor is also extremely low. That makes for a scary team to play when you are in the middle of a playoff race. However, 1st Downs Syndrome is touting the new NFL MVP favorite (Maye) alongside CMC - I am not picking against those two.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easy win with D. Maye"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Ertz/Eifert - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 10 Results

I am not sure what is crazier... scoring your highest point total as a team and losing (BEKH) or winning with your 2nd lowest point total as a team (ARBL). There must be something in the water with those acronym teams. This was weird week with football in general...

Bills lost to Miami

Jets won their 2nd game

Saints won their 2nd game

Drake Maye is the MVP favorite

Both TNF and MNF games were absolute trash - a combined 34 points, with both games ending at 10-7. 

On top of that, we also had some of the biggest performances we have seen in a long time...

Johnathan Taylor - 49.6 points

De'Von Achane - 40.5 points

Jahmyr Gibbs - 38.2 points

After that, it drops down 10 points and we don't have another player that scored over 30 points. This is the fewest number of players to score over 30 points since week 3 - and there were 4 players that scored 29.something.

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Who would have thought that best 2 QB in the league, and top two candidates to win the MVP, would be Drake Maye and Matthew Stafford. Don't get me wrong, they are dawgs.... but nobody saw this coming at the beginning of the season. 

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Nobody saw the Jets and the cocaine driven Dolphins winning this week. I don't know what kind of party these teams were at the night before, but sign me up!

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Matchup of the Week

Project Tush Push (6-4) v Frosted Flaccos (8-2)

It is one thing to change your name. It is another thing to change your name a 2nd time. It is another thing to change your name to a player that isn't even playing in the same week. It is another thing to keep doing that and then winning. 

Get it the f*ck together Tush Push. Just because the Packer suck doesn't mean your team needs to suck as well. There can only be one sucker... just not enough suckables to go around.

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Prediction: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Nips and Salsa (8-2) v BEKH (4-6)

Highest point total all season... check

Running back goes off for 40 points.... check

Wide receiver scores 20 points.... check

Opponent sat a defense that scored 20 points and played a defense that score -1.... check

Won the matchup.... NOPE

How is that possible? Achane scored the highest point total in the matchup and the 2nd highest in the league. Nips played the Buccs defense, who score -1 points. Egbuka continued his tear in his campaign for ROTY. And yet, Nips still prevail.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

1st Downs Syndrome (6-4) v Cleveland Streamers (3-7)

I am going to be honest, this is the first matchup that made sense. The exact quatro that I thought would win the battle, did win. What doesn't make sense to me is how Kylie Minogue can still rush for a touchdown at the ripe age of 57 and after her singing career.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-4) v Indiana Jones (4-6)

You really don't need for much else when your top scorer nearly grabs himself a Curtis Jackson. I almost never call how things are going to work out in the games correctly... but hot dang did I nail a Berlin chick on this one. It was as if someone within the organization had tipped me off and I just knew. 

Now wouldn't it be funny, if some big wig stumbled upon this blog and then they had to do a full investigation into the Indianapolis organization. Just wait... it is going to happen. I will never reveal my source.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (5-5) v Slender TD's (2-8)

This was a big loss for Slender TD's... especially when you get some decent performances from Puka and Marvin. It did take 20 points from the Seattle defense and Tez Johnson to take down Slender TD's. It is wild to think that Puka is most likely going to be on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoffs. I mean truthfully, I look at Slender's team and I am actually dumbfounded at how they are 2-8.

Mahomes. King Henry. Puka. MHJ. Breece.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

2AP (3-7) v Ertz/Eifert (8-2)

The rise and fall of Chubba Hubbard is something that not even Enron could mirror. Without Chubba this team is reliant on big time scores and when you remove Chase from the lineup (bye) then you are just removing a big-time playmaker. On the flip side, Stafford is the shock on the league (helps when he is throwing to Puka) and he is playing top-tier football. Dowdle has been a big pickup, but this is almost a team of destiny. Lineup looks shaky.... but they just keep winning.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert.... RIGHT!!

ARBL (5-5) v AR's Finger (2-8)

This is a big win for ARBL... even if it is against a struggling team. When you are 5-5, you give yourself a fighting chance. However, scoring 70 points is not going to be a way to win in future weeks. It will be interesting for these teams to go down the stretch with one team fighting for a spot and one team playing the spoiler. I predict one of these teams will knock out a team in the playoff running. But for this week, there is nothing better than scoring the 2nd lowest point total and still getting the win....

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 48-22

Mystery Guest: 38-32

With Love 

Commish

Week 10 Predictions

There are a few important numbers that you need to keep in mind for the remainder of the fantasy season

7: The bare minimum number of wins it is going to take to get into the playoffs

122.4: The average point total of winning teams throughout the past 4 weeks

31.4: The average point total of the top scoring player on the winning teams in the past 4 weeks

11282025: Trade Deadline

3: The number of times I plan on winning the belt from her to the end of the regular season

1: The number of times I will have won the league after this season

6,243: The number of words my victory speech will consist of... can't wait to post the video

It is time to strap-in, because these final 5 weeks are about to crazy. There will be a few more trades made, but don't forget... if your team is officially eliminated for the playoffs - you can't trade or drop players. For the record, officially eliminated means that you have a 0% chance to make the playoffs from ESPN. It should also be noted, that it will be highly frowned upon if there are colluding trades made throughout the league. The overall general understanding is that you are trying to win the league with your team. If colluding is discovered, you will have your choice of punishments....

A) Firing Squad

B) 50 Dick Punches

Matchup of the Week

Project Tush Push (6-3) v Frosted Flaccos (7-2)

I will be honest, I almost passed on this matchup for the MotW simply because of the constant team name changes from Frosted Flaccos aka AP2 aka Cocaine Cowboys. Don't we all know how much our beloved biology dislikes change? Not to mention, it is hard for me to keep consistency for Korean readers to track what is happening in the league. This matchup is a big deal for a couple reasons... this is 2 of the top 4 teams in the league and a loss this late in the season will really hurt the chances of securing the top seed in the playoffs. This week I am taking Tush Push for one reason only - a team name change for a player on the bye is just throwing off the feng shui of the team.

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "Battle of Defiance College. No Flacco? No win!"

Nips and Salsa (7-2) v BEKH (4-5)

At this point (not that it was ever going to be different), there is never going to be a matchup when I don't pick Nips and Salsa. Cards on the table (not the Arizona)... after waiting for players to return from injury - this is the team to beat down the stretch. Can it be done? Sure. It certainly isn't happening this week - I am just sending up prayers for J.J. McCarthy. He is now next in line of the QB injury list that is BEKH's team. Sorry big guy... the Michigan Miracle Man is going down!

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Nips by a mile. Maybe gearing up to win the whole thing."

1st Downs Syndrome (5-4) v Cleveland Streamers* (3-6)

What a matchup this is!! We got a run heavy lineup (CMC/Irving/Monangai) vs a pass heavy lineup (Jefferson/Ladd/Tetairoa/Kittle). It is interesting, it will probably come down to the role players and whichever team can have someone step-up. Let's assume these all cancel each other out, who are you betting on?

Maye/Odunze/BTJ/Schultz v Goff/Harvey/Mason

If I was a betting man... I would say, give me the PRK 2 QB in the league.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Closer than the predicted score"

The J-Bones** (5-4) v Indiana Jones* (4-5)

Is the Johnathan Taylor the best running back in the league? I would say yes... fantasy wise he is currently number 2. That changes after this weekend - he is going to shred the Atlanta defense. Why? The Atlanta secondary is actually, as the kids call it... nice. They are allowing the fewest passing yards per game - so what should the offense do? Hand the ball off to their stallion. Look for Taylor to take over this game, take over the top spot, and take over this matchup. Sorry Danny Dimes... time to hand the reigns over to the thoroughbred you have in the stable.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Daniel Jones letdown gives The J-Bones the win"

Bootay Pirates (4-5) v Slender TD's** (2-7)

Call it one of the biggest upsets... but I just don't see how Slender TD's loses this matchup. Sure, Patty Mahomes is on bye. Suuuuurrreeee... whoever the hell Chimere Dike is on bye. But with the lineup that can be envisioned - this is a matchup that Slender could win. Not only could they win... but it would also keep them in the game for the chase of the final playoff spot. On the flip side, there is just too much firepower on bye in a crucial week. Missing CeeDee/Kelce/Rice/Ridley is just too much to replace.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "Bootay by a mile! Making a push for the playoffs"

2AP (3-6) v Ertz/Eifert** (7-2)

Is there a luckier team in the league? Ertz/Eifert now plays 2AP without Chase, Hubbard has all but lost his job, Warren has to play against the number secondary. If Judkins doesn't play this week - there is chance that 2AP scores less than 90 points. Ertz/Eifert has a good team - arguably one of the top lineups... but it is getting overshadowed by the fortunate schedule they have had. It is similar to when a team like IU enter the CFP - are they really battle tested? Last season IU made the CFP, but had a SOS (Strength of Schedule) in the 90's out of a 130 some D1 teams. Obviously, things did not end well... could it be the same outcome for Ertz/Eifert?

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... "Let's just say no statue is getting built"

ARBL (4-5) v AR's Finger* (2-7)

Is there a worse feeling that making some moves, having your team get some wins - and then in a crucial week.... half your starting lineup is on the bye. I wish I had something cool to say about this matchup, but when a team doesn't even have enough illegible players to fill lineup on a Wednesday afternoon... it is trouble. This could not come at a better time for Finger - who needs a win to stay in the race. Is this the time for a nice little jumpstart?

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... "Rare win. Too many people on bye for ARBL"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you BEKH - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never end loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 9 Results

We are coming down the home stretch of the playoff push - just 5 weeks left of the regular season. For some reason, my mind instantly went to the famed musical "Rent." If you are unfamiliar with the John Larson rock musical classic, you aren't missing out. The musical focuses on musicians who can't pay rent and end up fighting the man. They each have their own super power....

Mark - Super Power: Retard Strength.... there is something to be said about being so dumb, that it eventually works out. 

Fantasy Teams

Cocaine Cowboys: Sometimes just putting your trust in a 40 year old QB with a CTE ridden back-up does get the job done

ARBL: Trades away his tops picks and goes on a run of wins

Maureen - Super Power: Plays for both teams (if you know what I mean)... sometimes you just never know if they are leaving with a guy or a doll.... but either way, they are finding a partner.

Fantasy Teams

A.R.'s Finger: They have had 6 different leading scorers

Nips and Salsa: They have had 7 different leading scorers

Mimi - Super Power: HIV... that infectious venom that singlehandedly take down anyone

Fantasy Teams:

Ertz/Eifert: The lowest points scored against by almost 100 points

BEKH: If you are a QB in his starting lineup... you are getting injured, get ready for some much needed elongated rest

Joanne - Super Power: Blind Confidence... she is the acute angle of the Mauren love triangle, she is also a lawyer - who happens to win cases off of luck and circumstance

1st downs Syndrome: Has more points scored against them then they have scored - yet somehow they have a winning record

Project Tush Push: Has currently avoided/will avoid having to play against: CeeDee Lamb, Rashee Rice, Nico Collins, CJ Stroud, Omarion Hampton, Brock Bowers, Lamar Jackson, AJ Brown, Emeka Egbuka, Coleston Loveland (on his big week), Joe Flacco (after his run of top 6 performances), Bo Nix

Benny - Super Power: None... this is the only good guy in the musical - maniacal landlord that just wants his money and then gets screwed (not literally) by a bunch of HIV touting gays

Slender TD's: Scored the 5th most points and still sits 13th place... screw job

Bootay Pirates: Scored the 2nd most points and sits in 7th place... very possible that this team does not make the playoffs

I would like to formally apologize to Cleveland Streamers, The J-Bones, 1st Downs Syndrome, and Indiana Jones for not finding a role in my favorite AIDs rock musical. If you would like I will give you first dibbs to the roles you would like in next month playing of Annie.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert** (7-2) v The J-Bones** (5-4)

It is never going to be a good week for The J-Bones if Taylor struggles. If you look at The J-Bones success it is almost entirely dependent upon Taylor and how he does in the week. If Taylor breaks the 25 point barrier - it has happened 5 times, they are 4-1. Taylor didn't break the 25 point barrier this week, which drops their record to a a miserable 1-3 when that doesn't happen. On the flip side, Ertz/Eifert won their 2nd belt of the season and now they join an elite group that has dramatically increased their chances of making it the championship. In the past 5 years the championship has featured at least one team that has multiple belts wins throughout the season. This win not only puts him into a good spot for that stat, but it also moves him up into the middle of the pack with points scored - something a little more respectable than the bottom third.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

AR's Finger* (2-7) v Nips and Salsa (7-2)

Nips and Salsa looked like a pretty tough team to beat, but who would have thought that Brock Bowers would the have biggest week of them all. To follow that up, Lamar Jackson was the 2nd highest scorer on the team... if you are tracking both of those players were picked up through trades. Seem unfair? After the trades, Nips had to wait 4 weeks for them to finally play. We will see if this wait was worth it, this week? Worth it. On the flip side, AR's is almost reaching to point of having their team being shut down when it comes to trading (once eliminated, you can not trade or drop players). I guess - just do what you can to survive... it is now or never!

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers* (3-6) v Bootay Pirates (4-5)

Until you get to the receivers on Cleveland Streamers - the lineup resembles something from the movie Replacements. Jacoby Brissett? (He is playing well, actually very well). RJ Harvey? Playing decently the past 2 weeks - but can not be trusted. Tyjae Spears? This team is leaving off the scrapes of committees outside of the WR/TE position. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates represents a even spread of points - nothing too dominate, but usually a consistent spread. This week they have had 7 different scorers in double digits and on 7 out of the 9 weeks they have had at least 5 scorers in double digits. What can we learn from this? Consistently trust the Booty... don't trust the steam that comes out of it!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

Slender TD's** (2-7) v 1st Downs Syndrome (5-4)

You know what's a scary thought? 1st Downs Syndrome just scored 130 points with arguably 4 starters on the bye. No bueno for the rest of the league. At this point, CMC is a dawg and things are looking good for him to continue to play with ample opportunity - the 49ers need to keep winning. On the flip side, Slender is glad to have Puka back... but Mahomes and the RB's didn't really do their jobs. In all honesty, this is a weird matchup to look at... I am trying to find where the surprise was that cost Slender the needed win - but even if Mahomes scores 25 points - they still lose. They big surprise Kyle Monangai scoring 22... but is it a surprise? I would trust any RB against the Cincy defense - especially now (just traded their ML).

Pridiction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

BEKH (4-5) v Project Tush Push (6-3)

If you want to talk about a team flying under the radar, it is Project Tush Push. They have not made a trade and are in the bottom half of transactions. They have never won the belt and they are quietly sitting one game back from leading the division. It might be the manager's style... it might be that they were D.D.A. ranked 9th and they have slowly crept-up. This team is the silent killer and you won't know they have in their crosshairs till it is too late. On the flip side, BEKH is just killing off QBs. They started with Joe Burrow, then moved on to Jayden Daniels, then had a sabbatical with Carson Wentz before he died, then returned to Jarden Daniels to finish the job. I am sorry Michigan fans, J.J. McCarthy is next!

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!

Indiana Jones* (4-5) v ARBL (4-5)

Both of these teams have found ways to win their matchups in the recent weeks... ARBL was in the top half of the league scoring 1 time in the past 4 weeks and went 3-1. Indiana Jones started just 2 players that also started for this team in week 1. When we talk about trying to make something with your teams... these guys are doing it - now they both sit below .500... but they are putting in the effort to try and get the job done. Can't knock the effort! 

Prediction: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!

Cocaine Cowboys (7-2) v 2AP (3-6)

I am not entirely sure who HIM is... but I am pretty sure Joe Flacco is pretty frickin' close. Since being acquired by the Bengals - Flacco is averaging 24.94 points a week. That makes him the number 1 QB based on average points per week. Also, who the hell plays Tory Horton? Where are your getting your information? If 2AP had issues at RB before... they are in even bigger trouble now. Hubbard has pretty much lost his starting job and now 2AP is stuck with no one at RB.

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 44-19

Mystery Guest: 33-30

With Love

Commish

Week 9 Predictions

We are now hitting the beginning stages of stretching out the league and placing them into their lanes for the final playoff push. We are not fully there... but we are loading the gates. I am not going to lie to you... instantly my brain thought of analogy of a woman dilating during birth and I was going to go into graphic detail for you. Maybe even through up some diagrams, put together an interactive presentation that allows to be like the Magic School Bus and fly into the cave of wonders. Then, for some reason - some feeling I have never felt before - a filter kicked it and said, "Nah, don't do that."

Is this what all of you responsible people feel like every day? I am going to be honest, this sucks. I would much rather just continue saying what I want, when I want. Filters are for pussies. 

Cigarettes? I light the filter side and smoke out of the back. 

Vacuums? Remove filter and you suck up anything roughly 3-7 inches.

Face masks? Just ask 2AP what our opinions on face masks are.

I might even start a new movement - the anti-filter group. However, I would be clever and make two words, but I would switch the first letter of each word that way it would be like a joke. You know something similar to "Joe Blob" or "Pobody's Nerfect." I would call my movement, "Fuck Filters."

See, hard to read with the first letters switched.

Matchup of the Week
Ertz/Eifert* (6-2) v The J-Bones (5-3)

The J-Bones are quickly becoming the team to beat in this league and major part of that is Johnathan Taylor. The even crazier part, Omarion Hampton is on the IR and will probably return around playoff time - which only makes this team stronger. However, Ertz/Eifert has ARSB that returns to the lineup. So the real question is: Who do you put your money on? Johnathan Taylor or Amon-Ra St. Brown. I would bet the house on Taylor. But this week, is not my choice. This week I will be leaving it to Mr. Washington....

Head will always be the home team on ESPN and tails will be the visiting team.

Looks like I am rocking with Ertz/Eifert!

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Good match up, more fire power"

AR's Finger* (2-6) v Nips and Salsa (6-2)

There is no hiding it, the Nips and Salsa have put together a juggernaut of a team. Now, if the players can return from health and actually perform the way they are expected to - this is the scariest team out there. Here is what their starting lineup will look like after this week (Barkley comes back from the bye)

Lamar Jackson - 2nd QB drafted

Jahmyr Gibbs - 3rd RB drafted

Saquon Barkley - 2nd RB drafted

Smith-Njigba - 2nd current scoring WR

Cooper Kupp - Only weak spot in the lineup

Brock Bowers - 1st drafted TE

Kyren Williams - 13th ranked RB

Buccaneers DEF - 4th ranked DEF

Who cares about kicking?

Stupid good and you know what.... ARBL has won 3 out of the last 4 matchups and since AR's Finger traded Brock Bowers - he hasn't played a snap of football. Is the wait going to be worth it? Who knows, but this week I am taking....

Nips and Salsa!

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips... "Will he lose the rest of the year? Me's don't think so"

Cleveland Streamers* (3-5) v Bootay Pirates (3-5)

This is a crucial week for both of these teams. In the most recent past 5 years of the league only one team has made the playoffs with 8 losses. Which means that you pretty much need to finish 7-7 to get into the playoffs. Trust me when I say this, you don't want to pick up your 6th loss this week and have to close with near perfection to get into the playoffs. In fact, teams with 6 losses currently are given an average of 13% to make the playoffs. CeeDee coming back gives this team a little more depth, but Streamers holds more firepower in the pass catching department. Honestly, I am okay with either or when it comes to the coinflip - this could be a good matchup!

It looks like it is Bootay Pirates!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "This team is on a roll. LET'S GO!!"

Slender TD's** (2-6) v 1st Downs Syndrome (4-4)

There truly is nothing better than welcoming back the 1st half MVP to your starting lineup. Puka gets a beautiful welcome back gift, New Orleans Saints. He should have a huge week and will need to for Slender TD's to correct the ship and start moving in the right direction. On the flip side, Downs Syndrome is just hoping that CMC is back to normal and doesn't completely start sucking week-in and week-out. I like my chance with 1st Downs Syndrome, but I would not be upset should the coin select otherwise...

1st Downs Syndrome it is...

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easy win for the big fella"

BEKH (4-4) v Project Tush Push (5-3)

For Tush Push, losing Skattebo was a big loss - but that does mean that Singletary gets a little bit of boost. Is it worth the trade-off? Definitely not. It also doesn't help that Achane is on the other side and he is one of the big 3 RB's in the league. Achane is averaging 20 points per week and it is not like Baltimore's defense has done much to stop any type of offense this season. The bigger question is who else is going to step it up for BEKH? Jake Ferguson? Maybe, he is the number 1 TE.... but we all know he really isn't and the actual number 1 TE is on the other side... Tucker Kraft. Anyways, this is where my heart lies...

Looks like I am rocking with BEKH...

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "Tough match up, going to be close"

Indiana Jones* (3-5) v ARBL (4-4)

Both of these teams have been very active on the trade markets... between both teams there are 4 players that were drafted (not including defense or kickers). Moves were made and now these teams are fighting for their lives. Some think it is admirable, some think it is stupid... one thing is for sure - they are both at least trying to win. That is the only requirement in this league.... effort to win with your team. Some may view your moves as a bad move or a bad trade... but as long as you are genuinely trying to win with your team, that is all that is asked! On to the coin flip....

Although, that coin flip may have been more like a certain banquet reader - I will stay true to the flip...

Prediction: Indiana Jones

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... "Who's going to lose with Daniel Jones?"

AP #2 aka Cocaine Cowboys (6-2) v #2 AP (3-5)

I am just going to say it... the name change is intriguing. Not only do these teams now have similar names, but they are also the only two teams that rock a double TE lineup. Yup, that is all I got. Full transparency, I was just picking my teeth with a tooth flosser and popped out a filling. On top of that, about a year ago my wife flipped out on our dentist (at the time) and told them to remove us from their books forever - so now we don't have a dentist. Fun times going to my mind right now, good thing it all comes down to the coin flip!

Looks like it is #2 AP for the flip!

Prediction: #2 AP

Mystery Guest: AP 2.... "Coach's only win this weekend comes on Friday night"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you AR's Finger - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 8 Results

Don't worry, things will get back to normal... you will get your weekly readings of the blog for the fantasy league. I can be on vacation every week - although I believe that is called retirement and who says you can't retire at the age of 38? A few things to note during our Fall Break week....

A) Texas is really nice this time of the year - like wayyyyyyyy better than Indiana. Everything is bigger, weather is warmer, gas is cheaper.

B) Vacation with extended family can really drive a grown man insane. When your niece constantly wants to play and your sister is always complaining about something. Don't worry, at least you have your senile father to have no idea what is going on.

C) Johnathan Taylor is really good at football.... the past 2 weeks: 247 rushing yards/5 touchdowns and that doesn't even include his reception numbers.

D) There are ways to gamble, even when in states that don't allow sports gambling. DraftKings Pick6 is a legal gambling app that can be used in all states. 

E) Once fathers hit the age of 65... they lose their ability to hold their pee. 3 stops on the side of the freeway and struggle to get back in the van in the middle of the night and we finally made it back to Indiana.

Matchup of the Week

Bootay Pirates (3-5) v AR's Finger* (2-6)

When you have 4 players score in the 20's and only one of those scored less than 25 points - you have a pretty high chance of winning. To be honest, if Croskey-Merritt would have done anything productive, Bootay Pirates could have had the belt. This is a massive turn around from a team left dead to rights in the early portion of the season. On the flip side, AR's Finger constantly finds themselves with matchups that are not beneficial, giving them the most scored against points in the league. Somebody had to win this and not Bootay Pirates is catapulted into the playoff race.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates.... RIGHT!!

Nips and Salsa (6-2) v Cleveland Streamers* (3-5)

Let's be honest, this is Nips and Salsa's JV team and they put up a good fight. Nips had a potential 6 starting lineup players on the bench... that is 6 out of 9 total spots on the bench with a the bye or an injury. Nonetheless, Cleveland needed a win and they pick up a big one. Their pass catchers are coming alive and Kittle has returned at the exact moment they needed him. It is just going to be a guessing game with the running backs - get those right and this could be a dangerous team.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!

1st Downs Syndrome (4-4) v Cocaine Cowboys (6-2)

When you don't have your best stuff, just hope you are playing an opponent who also doesn't have their best stuff. Bijan and CMC both score their season low points - neither one breaking 10 points... thankfully they were playing each other. Talking about surprises... Shane Falco and Draco Malfoy are both playing really good football right now. Drake has scored over 20 points in 4 of the last 5 weeks and Flacco is averaging 23 points since being acquired by Cincy. Cocaine is now tied for the top of the league... a tough team that is looking to bolster their playoff position.

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Project Tush Push (5-3) v Indiana Jones* (3-5)

There might not be a worse feeling than going into Monday Night Football needing points and you have a WR and the opposing defense left. Every time your WR does well... your defense suffers. Every time your defense does well... your WR is not scoring. Who do you root for? Honestly, it is shocking that Indiana Jones heart didn't just explode with confusion during MNF. Nonetheless... the combo did not work out and they lost.

Prediction: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

ARBL (4-4) v Ertz/Eifert* (6-2)

In a shocking performance (but not really that shocking, when you look at the bye weeks) - Ertz has taken their 2nd loss of the season and now there is a 3-way tie at the top of the league with 2 teams trailing at 5-3. The top is getting more congested and ARBL is attempting to win their back into the playoff race... They are winners of 2 straight and 3 out of the last 4 weeks. Since making the massive trades... they are 3-1 and they have now played their way into the middle of the pack. The question is... can they keep this going when they don't play a team that has the horses on the bye?

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... WRONG!!

The J-Bones** (5-3) v Slender TD's** (2-6)

It felt like just the other week, when I gave out the 1st half awards... where was Taylor during that post? Taylor is now the number 1 RB and is averaging 27 points a week. The rushing yardage won't blow you away, but Taylor currently has 14 total touchdowns - nearly 2 touchdowns a week. On the flip side, Slender had Puka (the 1st half MVP) on the bye... this was a cool matchup on paper, with the number of belts, but it was like one fighter stepped into the ring with an arm tied behind his back.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TDs... WRONG!!

2AP (3-5) v BEKH (4-4)

Let's just say that BEKH didn't have their best stuff today. Egbuka came back down to earth these past couple weeks, he has failed to break 10 points in the past 3 weeks. On the flip side, Chase has loved having Flacco under center - seeing a return to form that made him the number 1 pick. The big question for 2AP is going to be if their running backs can keep up with the WR's when it comes down to the playoff push.

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season Prediction: 38-18

Mystery Guest: 28-28