This is going to be a combo post - sorry to all my religious readers... I am on vacation. Some might say, "You have all the time in world." Nahhhhh.... beach and booty is calling my name. Hate me.
Matchup of the Week
Slender TD's** (2-5) v Ertz/Eifert* (6-1)
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
Nips and Salsa (6-1) v Tush Push (4-3)
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
AR's Finger* (2-5) v The J-Bones* (4-3)
Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
2AP (2-5) v ARBL (3-4)
Prediction: ARBL... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!
Cleveland Streamers* (2-5) v BEKH (4-3)
Prediction: BEKH... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: BEKH... RIGHT!!
Bootay Pirates (2-5) v 1st Downs Syndrome (4-3)
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!
Cocaine Cowboys (5-2) v Indiana Jones* (3-4)
Prediction: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Season: 34-15
Mystery Guest: 25-24
Week 8 Predictions
Matchup of the Week
Bootay Pirates (2-5) v AR's Finger* (2-5)
Prediction: Bootay Pirates
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "Players have returned to the lineup and the league is his"
Nips and Salsa (6-1) v Cleveland Streamers* (2-5)
Prediction: Cleveland Streamers
Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... "Nips has too many players on bye"
1st Downs Syndrome (4-3) v Cocaine Cowboys (5-2)
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys
Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... "Won't be surprised if it is close, both coming off losses"
Project Tush Push (4-3) v Indiana Jones* (3-4)
Prediction: Indiana Jones
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... "Jones by a bunch, marriage is a fantasy life"
ARBL (3-4) v Ertz/Eifert* (6-1)
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... "Better QB makes this a win, close one"
The J-Bones* (4-3) v Slender TD's** (2-5)
Prediction: The J-Bones
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "Patty Mahommes is the MVP of the league"
2AP (2-5) v BEKH (4-3)
Prediction: BEKH
Mystery Guest: BEKH... "Can you really win with Carson Wentz as your QB?"
As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Cleveland Streamers - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.
We are at the halfway point in the season, week 7 is the midway point - so let's give some awards!
A) MVP: Puka Nacua, WR (Slender)
This is going to be a very controversial pick - Puka is the 6th overall performing player. However, if we are giving the MVP award for the entirety of the first half of the fantasy season... he is our guy! Bijan Robinson is the highest average points per week player, but he only etches out CMC by .1 points per week. Patty Mahomes is the number QB and has a legitimate case for the MVP award, but average points per week puts him 1 point per week ahead of Jackson. Puka has the separation that is needed, check this out....
He is the number 1 scoring WR
He is the number 1 points per week WR
He has a 10 point lead overall over the the number 2 WR and is scoring an average of 1.6 points more per week.
OHHHHH.... and he scored 4.8 points this week. Which means, he was THAT far ahead prior to this week, that he is still in the lead after the injury. Which means he was clearly dominating that role before this week... in my mind I want separation from anyone else in the same positon.
Let me ask you this... would you rather have Patrick Mahomes or a kicker that is guaranteed to make a field goal from 70 yards away?
The average NFL team get 10 to 12 possessions per game... which means that kicker is worth 30-36 points per game. My point is this... even if you aren't playing the key position for the award - it doesn't mean you aren't considered for the award.
B) Darling of the Draft: Quentin Johnston, WR (BEKH)
Javonte Williams was drafted 93 overall, in the 7th round and the 35th overall RB taken. He is now sitting at 16th overall and 5th RB overall - while averaging over 20 points. Does anyone know the percentage of players drafted after 6th round that average over 20 points? 1.8%
Yeah, this guy is killing right now - not too mention he plays one of the most coveted positions in the league.
Essentially, until the Cowboys are forced into a must pass game script - they are completely content on handing the ball off to Javonte Williams. Williams is averaging 15+ carries a game and 3+ receptions a game. You want to talk about a true workhorse in the first half of the season... you got it.
HOWEVER.... with all that being said. Let me just this - Quentin Johnston was drafted in round 16 and 213th overall. Johnston is currently the 11th best WR... HE WAS DRAFTED AS THE 70TH WR!!! This is the definition of Darling of the Draft. He may have single handedly plummeted Ladd's stock... but there is not a more Darling than someone who was drafted in the very last round and is performing like a true WR1. This just might be the year of the receiver!
C) Trade of the Year: Jayden Daniels/Isiah Pacheco (Downs Syndrome Trading) for TreVeyon Henderson/Brian Thomas Jr (BEKH Trading)
There have been a few trades that have been completed up to this point in the season...
Nips and Salsa Traded: Kyle Pitts/Jameson Williams
C)
Nips and Salsa Traded: Dak Prescott/Courtland Sutton/Brandon Aiyuk
ARBL Traded: Lamar Jackson/Saquon Barkley
D)
Ertz/Eifert Traded: Terry McLaurin/Chig Okonkwo/Chase Brown
ARBL Traded: David Njoku/Rhamondre Stevenson
The last 3 trades in the league(technically the last trade was 2 separate trades) were all completed on the PD Trade-a-Palooza day. Nobody has been busier than ARBL - but hey, at least they are trying to do something to switch it up! You can not knock the hustle!
All of these are fine trades, but the winning Trade of the Year is a trade that both sides saw benefits...
This trade has worked out well for both sides.
1st Downs doesn't need two good QB's and he was leaning towards Drake Maye, who played well when the injury hit Jayden Daniels. He picks up BTJ and the potential that he had - which came to fruition last week. Henderson is what he is... but the big swap Daniels for BTJ.
The flip side of this, BEKH has Jakobi Meyers and Quentin Johnston and they were over performing - which gave them an opportunity to trade BTJ for a needed piece. Here comes Burrow's injury and a need arises... hence the move to pickup Jayden Daniels.
This wins the Trade of the Year for the bene fits on both teams.
D) Waiver Wire Diamond in the Rough: Daniel Jones, QB (Indiana Jones)
Truly, there is one person kicking himself right now - Cleveland Streamers. Oh yes, they drafted him. They then dropped him in week 2 and one week later Ertz/Eifert picks him up. It didn't take long for Chubba to get hurt and Rico to show-out. He has scored over 30 points in the past two weeks... do you think Chubba is getting his job back? Not only has Rico performed well, but the Panthers also won both games. So I ask once again, do you think Chubba will get his job back? Survey says no.
Now, the issue is that Dowdle has only been having his outburst for the past 2 weeks. Is that enough? What about someone who has been doing for more than just 2 weeks? What about someone who is inside the top 10 at his position? What about someone that is an automatic start at the QB position, no matter the match-up?
So if you are tracking, the answer to everyone of those questions is not only "Yes," it is "Yes" from a player that was picked up after week 1. Someone who wasn't thought to be good enough to be drafted (even as a back-up) and now he is starting. Someone who enabled Indiana Jones to never worry about the QB starting position. Clearly, you know who it is because of the name above....
Daniel Jones is responsible for 12 touchdowns (passing and rushing) and has yet to not throw a touchdown in a game. Jones has also alway eclipsed throwing for 200 yards in every game. Jones also provides a sneaky ability to rush... he has 4 rushing touchdowns this year and is averaging 4/5 carries a game.
I know it also should not be considering in the fantasy realm, but Jones is taking his team and making them one the top teams in the NFL. NOBODY SAW THIS COMING!
E) Team to Beat: Nips and Salsa
This might be the least controversial award to give out. Nips is currently undefeated - although that will only last until week 8 (rufffff bye week line-up). There have been hits in the draft and then some risks and obviously a little luck.
Kyren and Gibbs are both inside the top 10 RB's in the league. Dak (although now traded) was a risk that paid-off... he is sitting inside the top 10. JSN is a top 3 WR... another surprise. He was going to have a decent year with the Seahawks trading DK... but nobody expected this kind of a season.
Traded: Dak Prescott/Courtland Sutton/Brandon Aiyuk/Jameson Williams/Kyle Pitts
Some would look as these trades and think, "No wonder you are the team to beat - you fleeced them."
WRONG. Bowers has yet to play, Coleman has yet to make the starting lineup. Jackson was just acquired - also hasn't played in 2 weeks and is currently on a bye week. Barkley was just acquired - but cost a hefty load if Jackson doesn't get better. On paper the trades look heavily in my favor - but in reality... more points have actually left Nips and Salsa than have been returned - a wild thought.
There is no switch-up like the other awards. Why would you switch it up when up to this point a team has been "perfect." If I were to nitpick... they have yet to win the belt and they are going to lose in the coming week or two.... but at this point they are the team to beat.
Matchup of the Week
Slender TD's** (2-4) v Ertz/Eifert* (5-1)
Well, this is a matchup between half of the belts won in the first 6 weeks. Slender is a boom-or-bust team and this week King Henry is on the bye and Puka might be out - this is the time to beat the team. On the flip side, Amon-Ra and Pickens are both projected for more than 20 points. Mayfield is a top 3 QB - this team needs those dawgs to show-up. The recipe for Ertz/Eifert is that it only takes 1.... which seems likely this week. Don't bet against the big 3 - someone should have a big time week. More than likely something will happen for this team to win....
Also, I said in the last blog post that I would be Ertz/Eifert to win.
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert.... Now 6-1, but this matchup is closer than expected
Nips and Salsa (6-0) v Project Tush Push (3-3)
Yes, the Nips and Salsa made a big splash in the trade department over the past couple weeks... but they are going to struggle a little bit over the next 2 weeks. Between having to play Tua this week while waiting for Lamar to come back from his injury. On top of that, Gibbs/Kyren/JSN/Kupp/Bowers are all on the bye next week - trust me when I say this, the undefeated season is coming to an end and soon. On the flip side, Tush Push is coming off of nearly scoring 140 points last week. The rookies are looking good and there is no reason to not pick them to ride high off into the sunset.... no reason other than straight bias!
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Big trade by Nips, but it does do him any good this week
AR's Finger* (2-4) v The J-Bones* (3-3)
In case you were wondering, AR hates their team. The J-Bones hate their team (outside of 1 player). This is probably the most self hate fantasy matchup we have this week. When in reality, we have the Darling of the Draft facing off fantasy wise against one the best RB's in the league. Can Williams hold up against Taylor? Smart money would say no.... but Washington is giving up 120 rushing yards per week (and 150 the last 3 weeks). Wait a dick, LAC is actually just behind them in opponent rushing - sooooo smart money is still on Taylor. When it comes down to it, not only is there Taylor - but Nico Collins and Stroud are coming off the bye and have no excuse to not be ready to go.
Prediction: The J-Bones
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... Solid win. If Swift can have a big day, maybe they win
2AP (2-4) v ARBL (2-4)
Some people are scratching their heads when it comes to the trade that ARBL made this week...
Traded: Lamar Jackson/Saquon Barkley
Received: Dak Prescott/Courtland Sutton/Brandon Aiyuk
Now, first off - this was a back and forth conversation and ARBL sent this trade. The positive for the trade... Dak is the 6th best QB currently and faces a weak Washington defense this week. Sutton is a top 15 receiver and steps into automatically starting. Aiyuk presents huge potential as the most talented receiver in San Fran when he returns to health. On top of that, at a time in need Jackson has not played in 3 weeks and is on the bye this week... Barkley is not even a top 10 RB and is living off of his last season lore.
With all that being said... give me ARBL to beat 2AP and their confusing mixed bag of I don't know what your going to get week in and week out.
Prediction: ARBL
Mystery Guest: 2AP... Does coach beat Blackhawk? Well, he definitely beats ARBL
Cleveland Streamers (2-4) v BEKH (3-3)
Streamers welcomes back George Kittle with open arms. They also welcome back Mason and Jefferson from the bye week last week. Justin Fields returns to the U.S. of A... don't look now, but this is pretty much an entirely different team. Unfortunately, they have to go against one of the more consistent teams in the league. You would have to go back to week 1 to find a week when BEKH didn't score at least 110 points. Now, they have blown anyone away - but they know what they are... odds Streamers let's them off the hook?
Prediction: BEKH
Mystery Guest: BEKH... Impressive win. When Fields is your QB, it's bound to be a disaster
Bootay Pirates (1-5) v 1st Downs Syndrome (4-2)
This is a good matchup that will need to be closely monitored - by their own managers - specifically one of them. Bootay Pirates is more of an "Eff, we ball" kind of manager and rocks with what is out there. Doesn't make a lot of moves... may even preset all the lineups prior to the season starts (who knows). On the flip side, Downs has Mike Evans/Chris Godwin/Buck Buck all carrying a "doubtful" or "questionable" tag. They also have Bourne and Pearsall on their roster - Pearsall has the questionable tag and Bourne would play if Pearsall can not. These will decisions might make or break this matchup - if there was one manager I would trust to follow... it is 1st Downs. Either that, or he just has a thing for receivers in red?
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... Bootay may not win again this season if CeeDee doesn't come back
Cocaine Cowboys (5-1) v Indiana Jones (2-4)
If you could fly under the radar and be 5-1 Cocaine Cowboys have just so happen to do that. There is not a lot of chatter about how good this team is/looks.
A) Bijan is the best running back in the NFL - PERIOD.
B) Kamara is the RB2 on this team.... uhhhh, not bad.
C) There truly is not a weak spot on this team when you round out the starting lineup with Goff/DK/DeVonta/McBride/Diggs. All good players that are throwing the ball or could be the desirable number 1 on their team.
D) The Indianapolis Colts have quietly put together a great season and their defense is getting overlooked... but they are a top 5 defense in the league.
That is how you fly under the radar. You know how else you fly under the radar? Indiana Jones keeps you quiet for just 1 week. You stay near the top of the division, still inside the playoff cut and yet no one speaks ill about you. I guess you could thank Indiana Jones for helping keep you under the radar this week.
Prediction: Indiana Jones
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... Suprise/Best pickup of the season; wins with the Colts, wins in Fantasy
As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Project Tush Push - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.
Every so often in life, you end up stuck somewhere and you end up asking yourself - "How did I end up here?"
The year was 1995 and I was 8 years old. We had gone to a family reunion, and it was one of those retirements that you see a bunch of people that you have no clue is a part of your family. I am pretty sure I could have stood directly behind these people in a nice malt shop and not recognized them. Naturally, all the kids got together and started playing some form of "Hide and Seek Tag." Well, you can beat your sweet ass that I had it decided that I was not going to get caught. Sooooooo - I attempted to shimmy my way up a chimney chute on the outside of the pavilion. It was a great idea, until I end up with my head stuck in between 2 bricks and I end up officially stuck with my head in a chimney.
You are probably thinking - "Stuck, riiiiight"
Nope, I am talking legitimately stuck. Not like, I trip and she fell and we got stuck. I mean like, my dad took 20 minutes of twisting and pulling and ripping the skin off of the backs of my ears pulling my head back through the bricks. Finally got out, but nothing super admirable about getting your head stuck in a chimney.
Ohhhh trust me, this is not the only place that I wound up stuck and no idea what I was going to do....
At one point in time in my life, I played the "Bear Game." Essentially, you find a cave and you enter the cave, you find the bear and you wake the bear - move fast enough to get out of the cave. Sounds fun right? Wellllll, the cave is someone's house and the bear is the owner of the house. Still sound fun? Yup, been there and done that - we will save that for a different time and place.
Teams that are stuck somewhere they don't know how they got there....
A) ARBL (2-4)
ARBL is on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoffs. Some people would think, duh - Lamar is hurt, Barkley has been mediocre at best and beyond those 2 this line-up is average across the board. However, this team was projected to be the number 2 team from the D.D.A and ESPN had them ranked as the 2nd best team after the draft and they have dropped 9 spots in the Power Rankings. With Jackson not playing and Barkley being a mediocre back - this team is not going to make a run. They are reaching the time to make a move or shut it down.
B) Slender TD's (2-4)
Slender is a team that is quite the conundrum of a team. They won the belt twice and then they have now lost 4 weeks. They have the number 1 ranked QB and the number 1 ranked WR. They have Breece Hall/King Henry/JK Dobbins.... how is this team 2-4? Honestly, I don't know. I really don't know what to you tell you. You just have your head stuck in a chimney and you are just waiting for your dad (or Daddy... depending on what your into) to pull you out.
C) Bootay Pirates (1-5)
I almost did not include this team on the list, because it was easy to see how they ended up 1-5... injuries. To start CeeDee Lamb has played 2 games and averaged almost 20 points per week. That is a massive amount to replace... considering 2 of the matchups without CeeDee were lost by less than 20 points and the other 2 were lost by less than 10 points. The other issue is that at some point you either try to make a move and get out of the slump... or you inevitably pull a Titanic and go down with the ship. This manager has historically gone down with the ship.
Matchup of the Week
BEKH (3-3) v ARBL (2-4)
The clock is ticking for one team and the other team is going to try and make a push for the playoffs on the back of Achane. BEKH has Achane, who happens to be on a pretty bad Miami team - but he is one of the focal points of the offense - which is good for fantasy. Also, he has leading ROTY candidate Emeka Egbuka. On the flip side, ARBL may have waited too long with the Lamar injury and has dug a hole that is requiring immediate assistance. He too, maybe pulling a Titanic and going down with the ship.
Prediction: BEKH.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: BEKH... RIGHT!!
Bootay Pirates (1-5) v Nips and Salsa (6-0)
Not much to say other than the usual, but here are some movies lines involving nipples...
A) "I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?"
B) "What is it with this chick? She have beer flavored nipples?"
C) "This city needs its news - and you are going to deprive them of that because I have breasts? Exquisite breasts?"
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!
Project Tush Push (3-3) v The J-Bones* (3-3)
What do you do when you have Johnathan Taylor and no one else? Well, technically speaking... J-Bones did pick up Vidal and he looks like he might be the stud in LAC. Nico Collins and Stroud were on the bye, so this team does have some pieces - when all are available. On the flip side, Skattebo has been a nice find and Jeanty is starting to find his ways - something about returning to his college stance? Tush Push is on the up-and-up and the rookie RB's are leading the way.
Prediction: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
Ertz/Eifert* (5-1) v AR's Finger* (2-4)
So far, each week Ertz has had some kind of explosion from someone...
Week 2: Amon-Ra.... 39 points
Week 3: David Montgomery... 30 points
Week 4: George Pickens... 33 points
Week 5: Baker Mayfield... 26 points
Week 6: Rico Dowdle 34 points, George Pickens 31 points
Oh yeah... he also won the belt this week. Talk about a big middle finger to his doubters (me)... message received - I will pick you next week.
This is how you win weekly matchups. On the flip side, from AR's manager himself, "I have the worst Fantasy Football lineup."
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
1st Downs Syndrome (4-2) v 2AP (2-4)
Talk about acquiring someone at the perfect time... BTJ was struggling, Downs trades for him and then boom - he has a big week. Who did Downs trade? Well, he gave up Jayden Daniels and Pacheco. What did the Daniels trade do for his team? Clear the path for Drake Maye - who coming into his own. It has worked out very well for Downs (and for BEKH). On the flip side, some might say he was distracted this week... but it was not the best showing for 2AP. This team is going to be dependent on their RB consistency - which is not a good thing. Chase is finding himself, which is good - but it is going to come down to the RB's.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!
Indiana Jones (2-4) v Cleveland Streamers* (2-4)
This matchup is the definition of very different 2-4 teams. One team, Indiana Jones, is feeling good about what is happening - Danny Dimes is a force in the Indy offense. Josh Jacobs is a beast. If anyone else shows up, this team is not too shabby - this week it was Goedert. On the flip side, Streamers is a team grasping at straws to keep it together. Fields is a boom or bust QB... although this week looks bad, remember he was in London and playing against a top 3 defense. The nice part is, Jefferson and Mason now have their bye weeks done and they are looking toward a full season without any interruptions.
Prediction: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Cocaine Cowboys (5-1) v Slender TDs** (2-4)
Uhhhh Matrick Pahomes is really good at the game of football. He is also really good at fantasy football... but he was all that Slender had going this week. Even Puka scored less than 5 points (and he is still ranked 1st overall as WR). MHJ has been a bit of a bust, which is really hurting the chances for a consistent lineup. Slender might have the most inconsistent team up to this point. Slender has 3 weeks higher than 135 points and 3 weeks less than 107 points... that is nearly 30 points different. Essentially, when you play Slender - it is going to come down to which team are they going to be?
You ever just look around and think, "Holy sh*t.... how am I not just crushing the world right now?" I look around the world and listen to the news and I just know that I am surely smarter than 95% of the world.
We got people dressing up like animals and banging in bathrooms.
We got kids that can't even make their own sentences and use AI for everything.
We got whatever the f*ck a Labubu is.
We got people who can't take out an airpod or take off their headphones when they are talking to me.
And we got nothing beating a Jet2 Holiday....
I mean surely I am not the only one thinking this. I am educated and have decent people skills - surely if I really wanted to I could become some high powered position. So why not? Really, why not?
Well, because the same reason that people like to watch trash television shows. You feel good about yourself. If I am ever feeling down, I just walk the halls take a couple looks around and then I just feel better about myself. I know that my kids will have very little competition for jobs - because hey, as long they can listen with both ears and they don't wear a monkey tail, they are better than half the competition.
You know what else I currently have no competition in?
Matchup of the Week
BEKH (2-3) v ARBL (2-3)
This is a fantastic battle of the abbreviation names... Barely Even Know Her v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams. Let me tell you, being 3-3 looks a lot better than being 2-4.... like playoff race better. If you lose this matchup... you are looking at being left out come playoff time. Typically, you need to get 8 wins to squeak into the playoffs - dropping to 2-4 would be very detrimental. At this point, BEKH looks like the much stronger team - Daniels (when healthy) can be effective as a fantasy QB because of his scrambling ability, Achane is a focal point for Miami's offense with Hill going down, and Egbuka (don't listen to Gronk try to say his name) is a breakout candidate for ROTY. Things are looking up for BEKH - but this week will be a big swing for the season for both of these teams.
Prediction: BEKH
Mystery Guest: BEKH... "2 bad teams... Hope somebody wins, but will probably end in a tie"
Bootay Pirates (1-4) v Nips and Salsa (5-0)
You can call it what you want, but this should be a good 'ole fashion ass kicking. Now, Bootay Pirates presents arguably one the best lineups of any 1-4 teams out there. However, there are some ESPN projections that I am very hesitant on... Rachaad White is projected for 17 points - we are aware that is more than James Cook is being projected? Calvin Ridley is being projected for nearly 12 points - he has only scored more than 10 points once this season. Justin Herbert is projected 20 points and only broke the 20 point barrier once and never in the US. Essentially, what I am saying - ESPN is a little off on what should be expected this week and the separation is much bigger than what is being projected.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "By a smidge, big upset this week"
Project Tush Push (2-3) v The J-Bones* (3-2)
It is wild to think that The J-Bones just casually has Jordan Love sitting on the bench to replace CJ Stroud for a bye week (honestly, I could not tell you who the real starter is). The bigger issue is going to be replacing Nico Collins. There is going to need to be some things going right for The J-Bones to get a win this week... but at the same time, things have not been going the best for Tush Push. Luckily for TP, Jeanty gets to run against Tennessee and Packers defense gets Cincy horrific offense. Gun to my head, Tush Push presents a lot more consistency throughout the starting lineup... could be a close one.
Prediction: Project Tush Push
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "Not even close, JBones win streak ends at 3"
Ertz/Eifert (4-1) v AR's Finger* (2-3)
Baker Mayfield is probably one of the biggest surprises at QB this season... mainly because Tampa has no problem putting the ball in his hands as much as possible. Mayfield has weapons to use, especially the breakout rookie Egbuka. The receiving core in ARSB and Pickens is terrific combo and present some serious firepower. On the flip side, AR has a few boom or bust players as well. Jameson Williams is someone who has really yet to take-off - the issue is the number of mouths to feed for Detroit. However, he does present a boom week at any given time. On top of that, Javonte Williams is a huge surprise and probably the biggest surprise of the season. He is currently the number 3 running back in fantasy and is averaging 20 points a week. This will be closer that what the records show, but the edge goes to Ertz/Eifert.
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... "Not close, how is this team winning? Inquiring mind want to know"
1st Downs Syndrome (3-2) v 2AP (2-3)
When completely healthy, Downs Syndrome is a tough, tough team to beat. However, they are not fully healthy - Buck Buck is probably going to be out this week, Mike Evans is out, Ricky Pearsall is probably out if not hampered. These are 3 players that would be starters. On the flip side, Josh Allen is the best football player in the world. Chase and Waddle are extremely good at catching the ball... the issue is the offense they are in. 2AP also is one of the offenses that rock a double TE... both LaPorta and Warren are inside the top 10 and are big redzone targets. However, Drake Maye and TreVeyon Henderson match up against the New Orleans Saint defense - who on average give up 30 points a game.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 2AP... "Good Matchup, it's a squeaker but Coach gets two important victories this weekend"
Indiana Jones (1-4) v Cleveland Streamers* (2-3)
It is wild that Cleveland Streamers won the belt? Yes. Is it wild that they are heavily reliant upon 2 Minny Vikings players - the horrible Minnesota Vikings offense. And now they are on bye and we are back to a truly struggling fantasy lineup. We are looking at a lineup that has Kendre Miller and Michael Carter as the starting running backs. When it truly comes down to it, Indiana Jones looks like the much deeper and stronger lineup this week - which is good, because they really need a win. If Indiana Jones drops to 1-5, it is almost a wrap on the season.... but 2-4 is much better, not great - but much better.
Prediction: Indiana Jones
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... "Who knew Daniel Jones would be comeback player of the year. Stomps the Streamers"
Cocaine Cowboys (4-1) v Slender TDs** (2-3)
This is really the MotW if we didn't have a crucial battle between two 2-3 teams. We have one of the best teams against the top scoring team. Lineup wise this should be close, but if you look closer at the matchups - one team has a slight edge. Slender has much more forgiving matchups...
Both QB's battle each other in shootout waiting to happen, the difference - the Chiefs are much more reliant on Mahomes than the Lions on Goff.
Both RB1's have good matchups, Bijan against a porous Buffalo run defense and King Henry against a Rams defense... both should have good weeks.
RB2 is where the difference begins to really show up - Kamara against a tough New England defense and Breece against a Denver defense much more focused on stopping the pass.
WR1 is a big difference maker as well, with Puka getting a terrible Baltimore defense and DK going against one of the best defenses in the league (Cleveland).
Then you have a Mcbride (TE) against MHJ (WR), both going against Indy... the game script should equate to passing... good for both, but Zona is making a conscious effort to get MHJ the ball more often.
Look for Slender to edge this one out and get a huge division win.
Prediction: Slender TD's
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "Big upset this weekend, easy win for Slender"
As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Bootay Pirates - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.
Our commissioner rigged the schedule to face teams when their top players are out.
All conspiracy theories that nobody if they are true or not. I mean just think about it...
Bush did 9/11
The ides that the only reason the towers collapsed were from pre-planted explosions and cooperation from Al Qaeda. The government needed some reason to go to war in the Middle East... guess what - we found it. This would be hard to believe with the amount of casualties that took place - but it is strange that the Pentagon was also hit in the exact area that there happens to be no one working.
McCartney is dead
A popular rumor that the Beatles leaned into... Abbey road album cover, McCartney is stepping with a different foot, no shoes and the men themselves depicted a funeral (Holy Man in the front, Grave Digger in the back, no shoed Paul is the corpse, and Ringo was the Undertaker).
Revolution 9 can be played backward and you can hear "Turn me on Dead Man" in reference to Paul McCartney. In Strawberry Fields you can hear a faint Lennon line, "I buried Paul." There are many other ties to this rumor... I am not a big Beatles fan - but one thing I know, they are great business men by doing all these hidden Easter Eggs.
Birds are spies
Just one simple question... if they are mechanical spies that need charged every so often - why do they post up on Powerlines?
Modern Art is a Scam
Have you ever looked at Modern Art? Some of it is genuinely just garbage thrown at a canvas. We got people spilling paint and calling it a million dollar piece. You know why? If you can get the piece appraised at a value and then donate it to a museum - you can deduct from your taxes. Annnnndddd the rich get richer.
Fantasy Football schedule rigged
Some are complaining that Nips and Salsa is only undefeated because he has the easiest schedule in the league. He was able to play Cocaine Cowboys without Bijan Robinson. Next week he has Bootay Pirates - still missing CeeDee Lamb. Some are arguing that the only way this team makes the playoffs is due to the scheduling. Maybe? But do you really think I would go that in depth prior to the draft and figure tendencies of managers, predict who they are going to draft and set the schedule based upon the highest probability of team make-ups to make the schedule easiest for me? Wink Wink
Matchup of the Week
Nips and Salsa (5-0) v Cocaine Cowboys (4-1)
It is never a good thing when you leave in a player that is ruled out... but luckily it didn't matter this week. Ideally, Brock Bowers is back and better than the start of the season. If he can actually be one of the top TE's than this team will be a tough out in the playoffs. On the flip side, this week is essentially a throw away week - with Bijan out of the lineup. It is only one loss and won't really kill the Cocaine momentum, still a tough team to beat in the future.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Ertz/Eifert (4-1) v Tush Push (2-3)
If you can't have the Flyin' Hawaiian, give me the Egyptian Prince! Amon Ra is a dawg and Detroit loves their dawgs. He always finds ways to get open and Goff is going to keep going to his boy. On top of that, Baker and the Tampa offense just keep throwing the ball (especially with Buck Buck out). Baker looks good and he has the weapons on the outside to support the offense. On the flip side, this was never going to be a good week for Tush Push - but the issue becomes the other losses. Now at below .500 - there might need to be some moves if they want to make a run for the playoffs... or just sit back and take it.
Prediction: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!
ARBL (2-3) v 1st Downs Syndrome (3-2)
This is a huuuuggggeee win for ARBL - in the grand scheme of things 2-3 looks and feels a lot better than 1-4, like a lot better. The thing is they did it without any true super week, they just had pretty consistent number throughout - something that help them get a few wins, but without a true star, or a QB that can be trusted - will it be enough? T-Law had 26 points.... and it took 2 rushing TDs to get there. There might be a move in the future, now that this team knows they are fully in the race. On the flip side, it is tough to see your team score half their points on a TNF with 2 players. Losing Buck Buck and Mike Evans is never going to help the lineup, what do you do? You throw nearly your optimized lineup and still barely break 100 points, no bueno.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!
BEKH (2-3) v Indiana Jones (1-4)
It is never a good thing when your fantasy QB is pulled in the game because they are winning by too much. Good thing it didn't really matter... BEKH had a field day with Egbuka and Ferguson - both scored over 20 points. BEKH has a decent lineup, but they are sitting at 2-3 and need to rack up wins in a hurry to stay in the fight for a playoff spot. Some teams are in the position to make moves or try and ride out the bye weeks... but the issue becomes that if you decide to ride out the bye weeks, you better have backups to keep competitive.
Prediction: BEKH... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: BEKH.... RIGHT!!
The J-Bones* (3-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-4)
Bring back the days when the Mystery Guest voted for the themselves every time - nobody likes a realist. Neither here nor there, Taylor is arguably the top RB fantasy and in the NFL - the man had 3 touchdowns and didn't even play in the 4th quarter. The J-Bones also go to see a nice Stroud/Nico touchdown combo and these two have started to heat-up - also they took advantage of a battered Baltimore team. Houston essentially walked in the bathroom after two guys fought and they just starting kicking the guy knocked out on the ground.
Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
2AP (2-3) v AR's Finger (2-3)
Talk about a team struggling with RB's... it duzzint matta! The WR's combined for 52 points and the TE's scored 34.6 points... giving them a grand total of 86.2 points for the pass catchers. Now will that happen on a regular basis? Probably not, but this was a big week to have it happen (especially playing Chubba Hubbard). On the flip side, AR was not able to make the magic happen like the true Anthony Richardson did, when he was put in during the RC Cola time of the game.
To be fair, this week was always going to be a down week for them - no Swift and just traded for a TE on the bye. We will see what happens once they reach their full potential - what will the final lineup look like.
Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!
*Both of these picks were pre-trade
Cleveland Streamers* (2-3) v Slender TDs** (2-3)
There is nothing worse than scoring the 2nd highest point total and still getting handed a loss. Honestly, not a lot to say about either team - Slender's team looks good, they just ran into the hype-up week of the Cleveland Streamers. There is no way that you can sit D. Henry, is there? On the flip side, Streamers are going to be asking if Jefferson can just stay and play every week across the pond. The make shift RB department worked this week and the consistency throughout the lineup helped the Streamers not only win - but also lock up the belt for a week!
Alright, it is time to stir things up.... let's take a look at the rumor mill...
"Ehhhhh.... did you hear about this one?"
ARBL is looking to switch up the entire lineup.
After witnessing a gruesome injury happen Tyreek and Lamar now dealing with a hamstring issue - ARBL is left searching for answers. All teams across the league are welcome to send trade offers and ARBL will be entertaining/countering offers throughout the next week.
Cleveland Streamers is looking clear-up RB issues.
Who isn't, amirite? The difference is, Streamers has some household names that could offer in return: Jefferson, McConkey, and who doesn't know Tetairoa? If you need a serious threat at the WR position and are willing to offer up a decent RB in return - Streamers is open for business.
The Double TE lineup will be more than just an experiment for the Cocaine Cowboys.
Yes, Cocaine has 2 good TE's - you would think that they might want to trade one and improve upon another position. However, keeping both and playing both keeps the lineup flexible throughout the bye weeks and allows Cocaine to continue to produce a lineup that could be successful in the long run.
AR Finger has a plethora of average to good RB's and they have a hole at WR (a Malik Nabers size hole).
Somebody needs to fill AR's hole. You fill it with a white guy or black guy - AR is open to either option. They men they can offer in return for any hole you might have... as long his hole gets filled.
Slender TD's might be the most completed 2-2 team in league.
This not really a rumor... just merely a statement. Don't both sending them trades - they don't need you sh*tty player.
Nips and Salsa is 4-0, sitting atop the mountain, and still looking to experiment with their lineup - send offers and we can counter back and forth until we get something we both like.
Not really a whole lot to add to that "rumor" other than the that I know it is not a rumor - it is actually true. I have a guy on the inside of the front office letting me know.
Do what you will with all of this information - as Sir Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge is Power." And my good friend Uncle Ben said, "With great Power, comes great Responsibility." Combine those two iconic men and you get... Sir Uncle Francis Ben Bacon once said, "With Knowledge you get great Power, so don't EFF it up!"
Matchup of the Week
Cocaine Cowboys (4-0) v Nips and Salsa (4-0)
I feel bad that in this all important blog, that our millions of readers await impatiently every week, these two teams continually find themselves in the Matchup of the Week. However, you can't pass up a 4-0 team matching up against a 4-0 team. It would be far cooler if Bijan was not on bye week and we could see the full onslaught of the Cocaine Consumers, however it seems they will be saving a little something for what could possibly be a later encounter (playoffs). Look for Gibbs and Company to make a statement win and sit atop the mountain by themselves.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Beats a high powered offense, even with his TE on bye"
Ertz/Eifert (3-1) v Project Tush Push (2-2)
You know what is crazy about this week? This is supposed to be Tush Push's big bye week - they currently have 6 players on bye week, and I still think they are going to win. To be fair - ESPN projects Skattebo to have 17 points, which could happen with the Giants playing the Saints. However, I would take the under on that total and probably most projected totals for next few weeks. Skattebo is fun to watch, don't get me wrong - holdin' it down for the white RB.... but I just trust anyone on the NY Giants offense at this point. On the flip side, Ertz now has to see how much his team has after taking the first loss of the season? How will the respond? Does he need to bench a few starters? Have one-on-one meetings? Where do they go from here?
Prediction: Project Tush Push
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "They are becoming a contender, this one is close - but they pull it out"
ARBL (1-3) v 1st Downs Syndrome (3-1)
A match of teams dealing with similar issues: injured QB, and top tier WR that isn't playing (Hill will be indefinitely and Evans will return sooner rather than later). The big difference? Downs Syndrome's supporting cast, led by CMC and Bucky Irving. There is no real urgency for Downs Syndrome. However, ARBL needs to something and quick. If they don't, they will find themselves on the opposite end of the playoff race in a hurry. What is a hurry? Probably faster than they are willing, but it is time to go shopping.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easiest win the season for Downs, especially with Lamar out"
BEKH (1-3) v Indiana Jones (1-3)
You know what you don't want when your team is struggling? To have a winnable matchup and your best player be on the bye. This is going to leave Indiana Jones grasping at straws, this is a matchup they need to win and without Josh Jacobs, or any decent replacement, I am not sure that can happen. On the flip side, what does BEKH do at 1-3? Do they try and ride it out and trust the process... time is ticking on that plan. Or do they make a switch-up and see if they gather some mojo? The issue then becomes if they switch it up, do they wait until after this week and trust what they have to beat another struggling team? Either way, I think that BEKH has the upper hand in this one, unless Indiana Jones something to try and produce a lineup that can win this week.
Prediction: BEKH
Mystery Guest: BEKH... "Battle of 2 bad teams, somebody has to win"
The J-Bones* (2-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-3)
Everybody has their guilty pleasures, for some it is listening to white girl music in the shower. For others it is preferring redheads over blondes. For me? It is a fantasy lineup with 3 starting RB's... something about it just looks appetizing. For that reason and that reason alone I am picking The J-Bones.
Prediction: The J-Bones
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Bootay is not ready to compete until CeeDee comes back"
2AP (1-3) v AR's Finger* (2-2)
This is an interesting matchup with so many different intertwining stories between the two teams...
Chase v Higgins: Who cares if Browning can't throw the ball?
Warren v Bowers: In real life and in fantasy... the battle for the top TE
Waddle is the new number 1 option in Miami and Benson the top dawg in Zona... who's backup is better?
Quinshon v Javonte: Who has the blacker name?
Just a few ideas for some tag lines for this matchup.
Prediction: AR's Finger
Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... "No statue being built in the fantasy realm, just stick to the real thing coach"
Cleveland Streamers (1-3) v Slender TD's** (2-2)
Although these teams are only 1 game apart by record... they are over 30 points a week different. Yes, that says "A WEEK." Slender TD's is the top point scorer in the league and for good reason... Puka is the best WR in the league. Mahomes is a top 3 QB. They have 3 starting RB's on their roster, the bigger question - how is this team 2-2? It just doesn't make sense. It makes more sense that they have won the belt twice. These next few weeks are pivotal weeks for teams to jockey for position for a playoff push... let's see how this plays out!
Prediction: Slender TD's
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... "After starting 1-0, Cleveland has lost 3 straight - classic. Slender by a mile"
As always, I wish everyone good luck, except for you Cocaine Cowboys - may your entire roster be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.
The top 5 all-time when it comes to sh*t talking. What makes some one so good at it? For some, it is the sheer confidence that they are going to take care of business. For others, it is delusional confidence. Either way, when you truly believe the nonsense that is about to come out of your mouth - you can say anything you want.
Yes, this is getting written during the SNF game and my phone is blowing up from two fans running their mouth back and forth - annoying? Yes. Respectable? Sure. However, it is much easier to talk trash from the top of the mountain.
Those teams that can talk trash in our league? Cocaine Cowboys. Yes, they have never won the belt - but they just put a beatdown in the Match of the Week. Don't worry, I am not going to sit here and "glaze" this team - there just happens to be another team on top of the mountain. One team, that many doubted - many questioned... "How is this the top team on the D.D.A?"
Welcome to the f*cking show. You want to run your mouth? Come and get us. Yes, I have never won this league (and most likely won't win this year)... but for now I sit atop the mountain with Cocaine Cowboys and I await the next challenger. Why bring this up now? Why bring this up when Nips barely broke 100 points?
Because the team that everyone argued with my about who should be number 1, happen to be the team that now sits 1-3 and failed to do what no one has done yet. Truthfully, if you want to get into the top of the D.D.A. - you gotta do 2 things...
A) Come to draft
B) Stay for the rankings
You don't like it? You can leave.
For now, this is a mountain top made for 2... everyone else can eat a bag of d*cks.
Matchup of the Week
Cocaine Cowboys (4-0) v Ertz/Eifert (3-1)
It doesn't hurt when you have the best RB on your team... Bijan Mustard. It also doesn't hurt when your defense scores 20, sure it was against the Browns - but Detroit looks like a true Super Bowl contender with that defense and that is a good thing for Cocaine Cowboys. CC is a team that looks primed for the long run... think about this, they just scored 133 points and that is with a double TE set. On the flip side, Ertz/Eifert was labeled as a team that was a "Pretender" - looks like they lived up to that label. They have pieces to make moves... but the question remains - Do they feel the need to make a move?
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!
Nips and Salsa (4-0) v ARBL (1-3)
You hate to see it, you really hate to see it. ARBL not only loses this week, but Tyreek has a nasty knee injury (on top of Lamar Jackson leaving his game early this week with a hamstring issue). If you missed it...
Obviously, this sucks for Tyreek and the Dolphins - but now there are some big holes in the ARBL lineup. Do they make a trade to stay relevant in the league or do they dissipate into oblivion?
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!
Indiana Jones (1-3) v Downs Syndrome (3-1)
Some teams just have all the luck.... Downs Syndrome has Daniels and Evans not play this week and Drake Maye comes in and scores the 2nd highest point total in the entire matchup. I mean, sureeeeeee the bottom half of the lineup looks a little shaky - but hey when you can get nearly 75 points from just 3 guys.... you are sitting pretty. On the flip side, Indiana Jones needs to do something... they need wins and they need them in a hurry. They have pieces to move and bring in more depth and consistency... but is that something they are looking to do?
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!
Bootay Pirates (1-3) v Project Tush Push (2-2)
Hey, look who finally showed up to the NFL - it's Ashton Jeanty! Jeanty finally had his breakout game of the season... albeit still a lose for the Raiders - but Tush Push doesn't care! If the Packers defense doesn't give up 40 points and score -5 points, Tush Push would have broken 130 points this week! On the flip side, Bootay is going to struggle without CeeDee in the lineup - creating a domino effect of having to move players around and constantly filling holes that are never appropriately filled. One team looks good for the future.... one team looks lost... I will let you decide which one is which!
Prediction: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
Slender TD's** (2-2) v BEKH (1-3)
You hate to say it, but we gave seen this before from TD's in fantasy. In 2023, they won the belt once and lead the league in scoring through the first 4 weeks. On the plus side, during that year they were able to finish 9-5 and they were able to make the playoffs. Who was on that team? Puka. Who is on this team? Puka. Who is the best WR in football right now? Puka. On the flip side, BEKH had a good week - but it just wasn't enough. They have no real answer for Burrow's injury and this is now a representation of their team - most position scoring well and the QB and kicker dragging them down.
Prediction: Slender TD's.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... RIGHT!!
2AP (1-3) v The J-Bones* (2-2)
What do you do if you are holding the number pick in fantasy football, he isn't injured, he is getting plenty of playing time - but he isn't scoring due to the ineffectiveness of Bengals offense without Joe Burrow? Do you trade him? Do you hold on to him? The Bengals are a bottom 5 team without Joe Burrow, but 2AP could be a team that could make a run for the playoffs - if they handle the Chase situation correctly. On the flip side, The J-Bones are quickly making a believer out of me. Will they get that type of production out of Hampton every week? Probably not - to be fair though, this happened in a game script that was not specific to running the ball. Knock on wood... The J-Bones might be the only team with 3 legitimate RB's.
Prediction: The J-Bones.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
Cleveland Streamers (1-3) v AR Finger* (2-2)
Welllll.... it is hard to say it, but Streamers had the highest scoring QB and the highest scoring WR and still found a way to lose. What does that tell you? Everyone else sucked. More than half the points were scored by 2 players... even worse - three players didn't break 5 points and one those players is a long-necked Chargers receiver who suppose to have a big year. What do you do? On the flip side, AR won - but they are going to have to decide who to start? Gainwell scored 30+ points this week, but is that him blowing his load or is that him proving he is worthy of starting?
The other day I felt like I needed some time on my royal throne - Dump Time Mafia. Turns out, I was actually Ghost Pooped. We all know what that is, if not you are lying.... feel like you gotta drop some Bombs over Bahgdad, but you are just throwing out air puffs. Sometimes I really love the Ghost poops... but then I end sitting there just chilling on my throne playing some game and I think to myself, "What are you doing?"
Even though that happened, there are times when I go to my throne and I build a motha f*ckin' bridge. We have all had those... you lay that log down and it stretches across drain hole... all those little people can cross the hole and get to the other size. Sometimes when I am building a bridge I get impressed with myself. We have our own preferences, but for me that is an exit only and I get a little proud when I drop a bridge and think, "Yup, that is for real. Stand back d*cks... the location ain't for you."
Then you get those "boom boom" times when you know there is more, but it just ain't happening right know. You know you can fire away - but you just have sucked all the nutrients yet. It is not time... these Nutrient Suckers still have work to do. They are nice, but they are slight reminders that there is still some unfinished business.
Moving on from that, at one point in my life I prided myself on my ability to eat and drink and just go into that mindset of Dark Places - making myself deal with whatever pain is happening. Between eating 75 chicken nuggets (still room in the tank) to prove a point and the completing the gallon challenge - I find ways to force it down. At one point, a senior decided to challenge me in eating chicken nuggets - long story short, I end up with 500 chicken nuggets and about 9 other guys in my house. We sat down and said, "Go" and you ate until you had to stop. A certain senior was eating way to fast and there was no way he was going to keep that pace... let's just say my kids now know him as "The One who threw up."
Now... I didn't just come in here and talk about BM's to throw you off (or did I?)... but currently, we are 3 weeks into the season and it is time find out where we really fit in this league...
Bridge Builders (Real Deals)
Nips and Salsa (3-0)
Cocaine Cowboys (3-0)
1st Downs Sysndrome (2-1)
It is early, but these 4 teams are currently showing that they have the firepower to continue finding their way to the Promise Land (the playoffs). Of these teams, 2 of them are undefeated - one team has lost to one of the undefeated team. Cocaine Cowboys find themselves undefeated and the lineup has been untouched in terms of the injury bug. Nips and Salsa has one question mark at QB, but there are currently 4 QB's in the lineup - with 3 viable options and 1 long-term play.
Ghost Poopers (Pretenders)
Bootay Pirates (1-2)
2 A.P. (1-2)
Ertz/Eifert (3-0)
The Bootay Pirates. It is wild to throw them in this group and they have a losing record... but they lead the league in scoring - and they are one CeeDee Lamb injury away from being 2-1 and feeling much better about their situation. With that being said, Croskey-Merritt's stock should have gone up due to an injury (Ekeler), but he does not have a stronghold on the job as of right now - being out touched by McNichols. With his role unstable and CeeDee going down - this team find's themselves in the Ghost Poop range until their question marks are answered. Some may ask, "Why is Ertz/Eifert a pretender?" The lineup has depth... but they are placed in a pretender status because of the results up to this point. There lineup improved with CeeDee's injury - but when he returns, Pickens value drops.
Nutrient Suckers (Still more left in the tank)
The J-Bones (1-2)
ARBL (1-2)
Project Tush Push (1-2)
Slender TD's (1-2)
These teams have the lineups that could produce a slew of wins and have found themselves in slew of 1-2 teams... but maybe they should be a little higher. ARBL and The J-Bones are teams that really stand out... obviously, J-Bones had the big week. But also, one of their losses comes against an undefeated team and with arguably the best RB in fantasy right now, who wouldn't say there isn't more left in the tank. ARBL is another team where one of their losses comes when they scored the 3rd highest point total. There is still something holding them back... if they find that out - they are in line for a big jump in the league.
Vomit Volcano (Just Plain struggling)
Barely Even Know Her (1-2)
AR Finger (1-2)
Cleveland Streamer (1-2)
Indiana Jones (1-2)
These teams are currently struggling and luckily there is 10 of the 14 teams tied at 1-2. As of right now, there is no real harm in being in this position - since we are forgiving league and so many make the playoffs (over half the league). You have time to switch something up, make a trade, make a big pickup - or a team name change. Either way... you are here for a reason and something definitely needs to change. The one team that will be noted, A.R. Finger is down here even with winning the belt once so far - but the other weeks, they failed to break 100 points.
Matchup of the Week
Cocaine Cowboys (3-0) v Ertz/Eifert (3-0)
What a matchup in a battle for the top of the They/Them/Zed division!! Eff the normalcy, I am just writing about this headliner... From top to bottom this should be close, but there are a few intertwined teams in this battle. We have Goff and the Lions defense on one side and ARSB and Montgomery on the other side. Yes, there is the idea that ARSB is relying on Goff to throw the ball which cross-mingles... but the other side is the actual football side which involves the Detroit playing against Cleveland - and they're not bad on the defensive side of the ball. It is not often that you see a double TE fantasy lineup... but when your TE's are Hunter Henry and Trey McBride... you do your thang and throw 'em both out there!
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys
Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys.... wins by a smidge, but we can all hope he loses right?
Nips and Salsa (3-0) v ARBL (1-2)
Well, instantly you look at what Lamar Jackson has done and think, "He is good at fantasy football." To think that he was sacked 5 times last week and he still scored 27 points and this week should be another shootout - hopefully this time he can actually use Zay Flowers. On the flip side, Gibbs needs to have a big week and so does JSN. Thankfully, Geno has shown that JSN will continually be getting fed - seeing an average of 10 targets a game.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: ARBL... wins by a nose - can you really depend on Tua?
Indiana Jones (1-2) v 1st Downs Syndrome (2-1)
I mean, truthfully this is just an pretty unfair matchup. Downs Syndrome is just flat-out a better team... possibly top to bottom. I really don't think there is anything that Indiana Jones can do to get this victory?
Is that enough bulletin board material for the squad, Indiana Jones?
A lot of that down talk seems eerily similar to the move the Indianapolis Colts made bringing in Daniel Jones and look at them now? If not this squad pulling off the upset against Downs Syndrome, who?
Yeah... I am still picking 1st Downs Syndrome.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... big win; somebody needs to stick to tennis.
Bootay Pirates (1-2) v Project Tush Push (1-2)
It is wild to look at Tush Push's team and think, "How they are 1-2?" Hence, why they are in the Nutrient Suckers category. They have 5 positions in the starting lineup that are in the top 10 of the positional rankings. Yet, they not only are 1-2... they are also in the bottom 3 point scorers in the league. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the lack of firepower after Hurts. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates are Ghost Poops... just a bunch of pretenders. You are going to see it this week, when CeeDee doesn't play - you will see how fragile the ecosystem really is.
Prediction: Project Tush Push
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Bootay has fallen on hard times.
Slender TD's* (1-2) v BEKH (1-2)
Remember when we talked about Depth vs. Firepower? Slender TD's has boffff of 'em. This is a team that should not be 1-2 and will definitely see their way out of the hole. MHJ will eventually wake-up (maybe), but even if he doesn't - the Flyin' Hawaiian will pick up the slack. On the flip side, something needs to change. Unfortunately, I am not sure how much checking of the fantasy team is happening by this manager - all we want is a little effort... am I right Putting Commish?
Prediction: Slender TD's
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... a match between 2 bad teams, who really cares?
2AP (1-2) v The J-Bones* (1-2)
Josh Allen is arguably the best football player in the NFL. Truthfully, he can win a lot of games on his own - but he can't win fantasy football on his own. That is what we are looking at here... Josh Allen is better at QB and then after that, give me The J-Bones. Could this be the turn around point for The J-Bones? Could they take this past week as a launching pad and they just keep the belt all season (most likely not, but who knows). Belt or no belt... this week does not look good for 2AP.
Prediction: The J-Bones
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... football coach better rally his troops if hopes to do something that year... no statue building when it comes to Fantasy.
Cleveland Streamers (1-2) v AR Finger* (1-2)
There might not be another manager that dislikes their team more than Cleveland Streamers. AR Finger is going to hope for a week that is more like week 2 and less like weeks 1 and 3. I am intrigued to see what happens with Nabers with Dart starting at QB - not sure how high I am on this working... but hey we have been surprised before. Javonte Williams has been the pleasant surprise for AR's Finger - he could be the X-Factor for this week and the remaining weeks.
Prediction: AR's Finger
Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... Corum comes through this week. How does an OSU fan draft a Michigan player, just doesn't seem right.
It has also dawned on me that I have been slacking with my sign-off... let me correct that ship and officially state....
As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you, ARBL - may your entire team be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind child how to ride a bike.
Annnnnddddd now it looks like the injuries are starting to pile up. Every year there is a 2 to 3 week stretch that starts to just annihilate teams for fantasy football. Between last week and this week, we are in the midst of that span...
James Conner - Done for the Season
Ceedee Lamb - 2-4 weeks... maybe more, nagging pain throughout play
Mike Evans - 2-3 weeks
Terry McLaurin - did not return to game, questionable for next week
Chris Godwin - possible return during week 4... playing through pain
Colston Loveland - did not return to game, questionable for next week
Jauan Jennings - did not play this week... still questionable for next week
Brock Purdy - return possible during week 4, questionable
Isaiah Likely - possible week 4 return, out since last season
Najee Harris - done for life
Tyrone Tracy Jr. - 2-4 weeks... could lose starting job
Joe Burrow - 3 months... IR
Tua Tagovailoa - Not injured... but probably still has CTE
There is probably more on the list that I am missing, but just think about that. There is at least 1 first round pick, 3 - 3rd round picks, 1 - 4 round pick, 1 6th round pick, 4 - 7th round picks - you could essentially create your own fantasy team out of these picks - and have a fairly good team at that.
If you want to be good at fantasy, you need some luck in avoiding this list or have enough depth to battle through it. It is a tricky thing, because you need depth to get through bye weeks - but you also need star power for when you make the playoffs.
It is like when you are out on the prowl, you see a nice blonde from across the room. What do you want? A nice rack and pretty face (starpower)? Or do you want some wild positions and lots of different "happenings" (depth)?
Personally, I am a let's switch it up kind of guy... big depth guy over here. Now, every so often you find the unicorn in the wild.... both starpower and depth, and then you wife that b*tch up and hope she doesn't go crazy in 5 years!
Matchup of the Week
Cocaine Cowboys (3-0) v A.R. Finger (1-2)
The "Key Matchup" was pretty underwhelming, and the MotW was a little underwhelming. AR went from owning the belt to scoring the fewest points the next week. Looks like someone needs to ship that thing to the Middle School (if you just bring it to me, I can get it to him). It is not going to be a good recipe for success when none of your players score over 15 points. On the flip side, Devonta Smith - the Philly number 1 receiver - breached the 20 point barrier.
There are officially 3 teams undefeated left and Cocaine Cowboys remains on that list.
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: AR Finger... WRONG!!
1st Downs Syndrome (2-1) v Nips and Salsa (3-0)
This was the true MotW... 2 undefeated teams and two high scoring teams. Only one team scored more points than these two teams... which sucks that one of them has to lose. Remember reading the write-up for the Matchup of the Week and me stating that AR went from winning the belt to having none of his players break 15 points? 1st Downs Syndrome had everyone but one position break 10 points, and they lost?!?! Nips and Salsa is going to live and die by big weeks - this week Gibbs had a big week, scoring 26 points. If this team can find a decent WR2 - they could make a deep run in the playoffs... something this manager is not familiar with.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... WRONG!!
BEKH (1-2) v Bootay Pirates (1-2)
There is just nothing to say here... other than the fact that if CeeDee doesn't get hurt on the first play... Bootay Pirates wins this matchup. Nonetheless, BEKH gets the win - Bootay has to replace CeeDee for 2-4 weeks, and hope that he comes back with any ability to play football at a high level. It not likely that Bootay moves on from CeeDee... but what do you do when your top pick is out for 4 weeks and you need wins? On the flip side, BEKH gets their first win and most of it is thanks to Geno Smith and his big week, throwing for nearly 300 yards and 3 touchdowns. Jake Ferguson also was the big benefactor of CeeDee getting hurt and all of that twists up into BEKH getting their first win.
Prediction: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!
Indiana Jones (1-2) v Slender TD's* (1-2)
Name switch... check
Team Logo switch... check
First win... check
It was narrow and it was close, but Indiana Jones gets their first win over Slender TD's. The issue is going to be what comes next with James Conner now dealing with his injury. It does not look good for the future... but they got their win this week. On the flip side, Slender has to be asking themselves, "How did this happen?" Well, King Henry fumbled the ball for the 3rd time in 3 weeks - Butker missed a field goal and an extra point - MHJ dropped a wide open 40-yard bomb - Bengals defense scored less than zero points against a back-up QB and back-up RB - and Patrick Mahomes had to settle for for passing touchdown and less than 230 passing yards. A slew of mishaps to equate to a wild loss this week. The big question for Slender - do you move on from MHJ, and if so - what can you get for him?
Prediction: Slender TD's... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... WRONG!!
Project Tush Push (1-2) v 2AP (1-2)
Yet again, another narrow matchup that comes down to the MNF game. Let's start with 2AP... boy is Chase going to miss having Burrow at QB. Chase saw 6 targets, a mere 10 targets less than last week. It is funny, Judkins returns for the Browns - this team looks complete and then Burrow goes down and leave Chase looking like a fringe WR2. For Tush Push, the team's namesake had a huge week. Hurts equated for 4 touchdowns (3 passing/1 rushing) and Eagles won in a crazy blocked field goal. There are certain teams that just look really good on offense - Philly falls in that category. After that, it is looking rough - to be fair; Kraft got hurt mid-week, Jeanty has yet to have a breakout performance, Drake London has a combo of Penix and Captain Kirk throwing him the ball... I foresee some possible trades in the future.
Prediction: Project Tush Push.. RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push.. RIGHT!!
Ertz/Eifert (3-0) v Cleveland Streamers (1-2)
Let's just get this out of the way, Streamers is struggling to get some things going. Part of it is the Minnesota offense as a whole is a mess right now with not be able to get Jefferson the ball and part of it is the lack at the RB position. It is going to take big weeks from one or two players for them to have a chance at a win. On the flip side, Ertz remains one of the 3 undefeated teams, although they fall in the bottom half of points scored in the league - they are still beating whoever they face. It is hard to say that something needs to change for a 3-0 team - but in all reality, they could use help at the RB position. Now might be a time to try and move someone like Pickens (who could see an uptick in targets with Lamb being out for some time).
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
ARBL (1-2) v The J-Bones* (1-2)
Well, well, well - looks like someone was fed up with losing and decided to take down the belt this week! The J-Bones had a huuuuuge week and it all started during the 1:00 slate of games. Minnesota and Johnathan Taylor combined for over 64 points - yes, that is right... a defense scored 32 points. It helps when that same defense scores more touchdowns than 95% of the league. Taylor is looking like the best RB in the league right now and if The J-Bones can keep this going it could get even crazier. To think that The J-Bones were less than 10 points off the top 5 weeks in the record books and that is with Jordan Love barely breaking 10 points, is wild to think about - have we seen the ceiling or could it go higher?
Prediction: ARBL... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!
With Love,
Commish
Season Predictions: 13-8
Mystery Guest: 8-13
Not looking good for the Mystery Guest... I hope he knows there are drinks on the line with this season long bet?!?!?
