The Grand Finale

And that is that.

The regular season is over and we have learned a few things...

A) I am a much better picker than the Mystery Guest.... that will be a drink of my choice - just head to your local gasery and pick-up any flavor of C4/Bang/Ghost Energy drink.

B) Sometimes, making moves really does help the process...

                  - Take ARBL for example: started off 1-3, made a few trades to get then go 3-1 the next four weeks and then battled from there to make the playoffs. 

C) Sometimes, making moves really does help the process....

                  - Take Frosted Flaccos (or whatever he is calling himself now), he has the most transactions through acquiring and dropping and he finished tied for 1st place.

D) Sometimes, going down with the ship is just that - going down....

                   - 4 of the 5 teams to not make a trade did not make the playoffs, The J-Bones being the only lucky survivor... and now he has to face Maye/CMC and the boyzzzzzzzz

E) It took us 14 weeks, but someone broke through into Record Books... thank-you formerly known as Project Tush Push for your willingness to only score 48.5 points.

Let's look at some End of the Year Awards

MVP: Trey McBride, TE - Bake it til ya Make it

I can hear it now, all the chatter about how it is stupid that a TE won MVP. But hear me out.... Trey McBride is outscoring the 2nd best TE by 5 points a week. Can you imagine going into every matchup with that type of advantage? To put it in perspective.... McBride would be the 4th best WR, 6th best RB, 8th best QB. Mcbride is also one of the most consistent fantasy contributors, he only had 1 week where he scored less than 10 points - and he scored 9.1 during that week. He could easily find himself being drafted in the 1st round next year.

Steal of the Draft: Javonte Williams, RB - AR's Finger

AR's Finger may have finished 2-12, but they still take home an award for having the best find. Javonte Williams was drafted in the 7th round and finished as the 12th best RB in the league. Let's put that in perspective... he was drafted as the 35th RB. He also finished with only 2 weeks less than 10 points which is something that any one of us would sign up for having in a 7th round pick!

Diamond in the Rough: Harold Fanin, Jr, TE - Cleveland Streamers

First off, Fanin has had a wild ride when it comes to the fantasy world in our league. He was drafted 219th in the 16th round and dropped two days later by Cleveland Streamers. Then 1st Downs Syndrome picks him up for about month before he drops him on October 10th. Cleveland Streamers picks him up two days later and Fanin finishes with Daddy Streamers.... back to the place he first started. Fanin, Jr is the 6th best TE and is averaging 11.1 points per week - definitely solid work for a pickup in a position that sometimes can be a crapshoot. 

Team to Beat: Nips and Salsa

There is always something about being the team to beat.... they usually get beat. Nips and Salsa have come close to winning the league before, but they have never been able to lift the Ron Jeremy. In 2016, they had a powerhouse team - only to get upset by a Kiddie Kisser. In 2018 they also had a banger of team, scoring in the top 5 most points scored in the league history... early exit in round 1. 2019 they were the 1 seed, scoring the most points in the league.... not even getting to the championship. In fact, of the past 10 years of the league this team has managed to make the playoffs 7 times... win the regular season 3 times, finish with less than three losses 4 times... all to only make the championship 1 time. Is this the year?

Trade of the Year: ARBL and Nips and Salsa

This trade consisted of...

3rd RB drafted

2nd QB drafted

4th QB overall (3rd at the time)

18th WR overall (12th at the time)

annnnddd WR who has his NFL contract and guarantees voided.

Now the reason why this trade was amazing, was the entire scenario to make it work. ARBL was 2-4 and needed a win in a bad way. Jackson was injured and ended up not playing for 4 straight weeks. Barkley was underperforming by a mile. On the other side, Nips were 6-0 and could afford taking a big swing. Sometimes it pays off - they bring in Jackson and Barkley, but in return they are giving Prescott - who outperformed Jackson heavily. In the end, both teams make the playoffs and both teams ended up scoring their season high in the final week - not too bad!

Now, let's look at the Playoff Predictions!!

The Guru's Predictions

For those curious.... Nips and Salsa is the prediction for the eventual champions and the hoisting of the Ron Jeremy Trophy!

Mystery Guests Predictions

Mystery Guest has Bootay Pirates lifting the trophy.

An interesting tidbit... both brackets have Bake it Til Ya Make it losing in the first round to ARBL. I know for me I felt like I needed some kind of upset to take place to feel good about my bracket.... most likely it will end up happening with Nips and Salsa failing (yet again) to fulfill their destiny.

At the end of the day, don't forget - there is more than just pride on the line....

Champion: $180

2nd place: $80

As always, good luck to all - except ALL OF YOU - may you be stuck in a never end loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 13 Results/Final Regular Season

There are few things to cover in this post, so I will get the first and easiest part of the post done quickly....

Week 13 Results....

Fantasy Guru (Me) predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives me a season record of 59-32.

The Mystery Guest also predicted 4 right and 3 wrong and gives him a season record of 48-43.

This means that the Mystery Guest will lose the prediction battle (we all saw this coming), so I will take a nice energy drink chilled a bucket of ice good sir! 

Now, there comes a point in a man's life when you have to look at yourself in the mirror and pump yourself up...

This is that moment... the final week of the regular season.

What we have going into the finale...

- The artist formerly known as Cocaine Cowboys has a win and you earn the top seed... Slender TD's need to win to have a chance... big matchup.

- Nips and Salsa most likely will not drop lower than the 2 seed, with a loss and 1st Down Syndrome outscoring them by 90 points being the only way. HOWEVER, if they win and Cocaine Cowboys lose... they have a great chance of getting the 1st seed.

- 1st Downs is almost assuredly locked in the 3rd seed.

- Bootay Pirates and The J-Bones can both more past Ertz/Eifert with wins and losses falling the right way, but in all reality these teams will probably fall in the 4-6 category. This means that most 2 of these teams will be playing each other in week 1 of the playoffs.

- The team formerly known as Tush Push is in the playoffs and has their odds set at -100000 to finish as the 7th seed. They will face with Nips and Salsa or formerly Cocaine Cowboys in week of the playoffs.

- And then that leaves us with.... ARBL/BEKH/Slender TD/2AP/Cleveland Streamers.... all fighting for a spot to be in the playoffs.

And it goes like this....

ARBL - win and you are in... they are actually favored in their matchup... could be a sign of good things to come!

Slender TD's - win and ARBL losses and you are in... Slender holds a large point scored margin over every team in this same position. Unfortunately, they also have the hardest matchup - but, hey... why not you?

2AP - win and ARBL and Slender lose and you are in... you are next in line when it comes to points and you shouldn't be caught after that. You have one of the closest projected matchups this week... could get a little dicy.

BEKH - win and the 3 teams above them have to lose for them to even have a chance... you also need to get outscored by ARBL this week - by more than 10 - or you are eliminated as well.

Cleveland Streamers - win and every other team above you loses and you are in... most likely not the case... but technically you are not eliminated yet. 

It is even crazier that each of these teams in the race also don't play one another in the final season. 5 teams in it and 5 different matchups to watch. What a life we live.

Matchup of the Week

Slender TD's (5-8) v AKA Cocaine Cowboys (11-2)

This is a big matchup for both teams for multiple different reasons. Cocaine wins they lock up the 1st seed for the playoffs. It is a good thing that Baker is playing the lowly Saints and the duo of Loop and Balt Defense are facing Pittsburgh (with a banged up Rodgers). On the flip side, Slender needs to win and have ARBL lose... If I am being honest, this is not the team you want to face in the first round of the playoffs. Mahomes/Puka/Henry/Hall/Harrison JR.... how is this team fighting for a playoff spot?!?!?

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... Going to have a big week!

Nips and Salsa (10-3) v AR's Finger (2-11)

Yeah, at this point... what do you do? AR... time to starting working your draft strategy for next season.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... ARF is just awful

Cleveland Streamers (5-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (9-4)

Technically, these teams could move around... but most likely not. As it stands....

Cleveland needs to win and a lot of teams to lose... most likely this team is out... but hey if Roberto Benigni can win an Oscar for Best Actor then as my good friend Kevin Garnett says, "Anything is possible!"

On the flip side, 1st Downs is most likely locked into the 3rd seed. Win or lose... they will get the 3rd seed unless a miracle happens and they win and outscore Nips and Salsa by 90 points who also loses to AR's Finger. However, for sake of predictions...

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... close, but going with the underdog (???)

BEKH (5-9) v AKA Project Tush Push (7-6)

Project Tush Push is in the playoffs and they made a trade for Daniel Jones and Aaron Jones.... jonesing for a Jones. Will this last second move help them make a run in the playoffs?? This week is irrelevant for the win/lose side for them... but it will be nice to see what Aaron Jones can do against a weak Washington defense. On the flip side, not too many people will be upset in De'Von Achane is not in the playoffs. He is a player that single handedly win you a matchup at any given time. Need a win and a lot of losses for BEKH to pull this thing off... unfortunately, I just can't trust Cam Ward to get the job done.

Prediction: AKA Tush Push

Mystery Guest: AKA Tush Push... both teams need a win

Ertz/Eifert (8-5) v ARBL (6-7)

This is the other big matchup that a lot of teams will be watching. If ARBL win, nothing else matters for the teams in limbo. This is a close matchup... but I just want it be said, ARBL won the trade involving Dak Prescott. Not only that, he might be the answer this week when it comes to getting a big win! Ertz/Eifert is spiraling and I know that these games are "meaningless" - but talk about limping into the playoffs. At one point they had a chance at the top spot, now they are not even going to finish in the top 3 and will end up facing a team that has scored nearly 100 more points than them all season long.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... big win after losing 3 straight

AKA Indiana Jones (4-9) v Bootay Pirates (7-6)

Every year there is one team that is screwed with points scored against... hello AKA Indiana Jones. Now, it may not look like much in the overall standings... the final stretch of opponents have been tough to swallow...

Opponents:

Week 13: Seattle Defense 28 points (5th highest point scorer that week)

Week 12: Gibbs and JSN being the 1st and 2nd top points scorers of the week... on the same team

Week 11: Josh Allen being the top points scorer of the week

Week 10: Johnathan Taylor being the top point scorer fo the week

So yes, the last 4 weeks have been a bit of a struggle for the boys... if you were a betting man you should pick one of Bootay Pirates' pirates to be the top point scorer of the week.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... another win against a subpar team

The J-Bones (7-6) v 2AP (5-8)

I will be honest, I like 2AP's chances a whole lot more if Hubbard was not on bye this week. It is ironic that The J-Bones picked up and waited for Joe Burrow and now he could be "the guy" that knocks out Chase. The J-Bones has a solid team... but 2AP did just beat Nips and Salsa to keep their dreams alive. Is this the team of destiny? Just for gits and shiggles, I am picking them to win this week and who knows what could happen after that!

Prediction: 2AP

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... close, but Mr. Football falls to 5-9

As always, good luck to every team - except for you AR's Finger - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 12 Results/Week 13 Predictions

This is going to be a loaded post.... so if you would like to skip by all the talk about how good my team is and how much my team would dominate if Lamar Jackson was not broken. Thus, he is still broken and ARBL is looking like a genius grabbing Prescott in that trade. For those wondering... about the supposed fleecing...

Points since the trade:

Nips and Salsa Received...

Lamar Jackson: 54.14

Saquon Barkley: 74.1

ARBL Received...

Dak Prescott: 96.66

Courtland Sutton: 52.7

Now, don't get me wrong - it doesn't always work out directly like this and I understand that... it matters who the replacement it is, the team make-up, etc. However, Lamar is getting out scored by nearly both players that Nips sent out. Not even close to the most lopsided trade made in the league.... let's take a look as some:

ARBL Received...

Chase Brown: 90.4

Terry McLaurin: Injury Riddled... played 1 week

Chig Okonkwo: 27.9

Ertz/Eifert Received...

Rhamondre Stevenson: Injury... then lost starting job 

Davis Njoku: 24.8

A trade involving players where have either been hit the injury bug or lost their starting job... the team that gets Chase Brown wins, and wins in a big way. 

The same can be said for the trades involving...

1st Downs Received...

Treveyon Henderson: 99.4

Brian Thomas Jr: Might be the biggest bust in fantasy football right now

BEKH Received...

Jayden Daniels: Pussyitus

Isiah Pacheco: Hasnt' played since week 8

Henderson is virtuality a must start every week now and if Jayden Daniels came back this would have been a fair trade. Unfortunately, the Commanders are most likely going to hold him out for longer than BEKH has time for. 

There were other trades... involving AR Finger/Indiana Jones - but truthfully, you get the point. At some point in the season you have to decide - do I go down with my ship or do I attempt to throw some water overboard and save what I can. Typically, when a team is in desperation mode they make some big swings and that is when the shark can circle up and wait. Trust me, I have been there... in my other league I traded Patrick Mahomes for Jordan Addison and Justin Fields. What an absolute dumbass! But hey, it doesn't matter we don't care about other leagues... you don't talk about the side chick to the main chick.

Here is a quick write-up for the results and then we will also jump into the breakdown for the predictions...

Matchup of the Week

ARBL (6-6) v Cleveland Streamers (4-8)

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... WRONG!!

Nips and Salsa (10-2) v Indiana Jones (4-8)

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (6-6) v Ertz/Eifert (8-4)

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (7-5) v Frosted Flaccos (10-2)

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

2AP (4-8) v Slender TD's (4-8)

Prediction: Slender TDs... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TDs... RIGHT!!

1st Downs Syndrome (8-4) v BEKH (4-8)

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Project Tush Push (7-5) v AR's Finger (2-10)

Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 55-29

Mystery Guest: 44-40

On to week 13 predictions.....

We have some new information when it comes down to the playoff push...

6 teams have now locked-up a spot for the playoffs:

Nips and Salsa

Frosted Flaccos

Ertz/Eifert

The J-Bones

Project Tush Push

1st Downs Syndrome

AR's Finger has been officially eliminated, which means no dropping/trading/waiver wire claims... but they can try to win their match-ups and play spoiler! A role that should not be taken for granted...

That leaves up with 7 teams fighting for 2 spots...

Bootay Pirates and ARBL are both 6-6 and the playoff spots are essentially their's.... unless something crazy happens. Indiana Jones does play Bootay Pirates in the final two weeks... 2 wins and you just might have a chance. On the flip side, ARBL has a tough task ahead... one win and they are for sure in... but they face Frosted Flaccos and Ertz/Eifert in their final matchups. Honestly, the matchups for the final 2 weeks are super interesting, here is where everything falls for the final 6 teams...

Bootay Pirates: Indiana Jones/Indiana Jones

- Easiest Path: 1 win and you are in

- Hardest Path: Lose both of the final two weeks, Indiana Jones/2AP/BEKH/Cleveland Streamers/Slender TD's win both weeks and outscore Bootay Pirates.... Slender is the closest team to out pointing them, but it is going to take a miracle for this to happen

ARBL: Frosted Flaccos/Ertz Eifert

- Easiest Path: 1 win and you are in... might actually be the hardest path with matchups that are left

- Hardest Path: The same as Bootay Pirates... only instead of being the 3rd highest points, they are the 3rd lowest points - pretty much hoping for a win or another team to not win the last two weeks

Slender/Streamers/BEKH/Indiana Jones/2AP

- All 4 of these teams need to win the final two weeks and need help from Bootay Pirates and ARBL.

- Indiana Jones holds half of the miracle for all of these teams in their hands... facing Bootay Pirates in both final weeks

- ARBL will be underdogs in both matchups... which means if one of these teams can win both weeks - there might be a better chance than what ESPN is giving them

If I were a betting man: Give me Bootay Pirates and Slender TD's to make the cut... I am obviously getting some pretty good odds with the Slender pick, but they have the firepower and they have the point difference.

Either way, you gotta win this week and you gotta hope for losses...

Matchup of the Week

Indiana Jones (4-8) v Bootay Pirates (6-6)

This is a big matchup for half of the league... and most of them are pulling for Indiana Jones. I hate to say it, but it just looks like a good week for Bootay Pirates... CeeDee Lamb plays KC who typically forces teams to throw the ball from blitz packages - but Dak ranks in the top 3 QBR's against the blitz. J-Herbo gets a comfy matchup against Las Vegas... avoid Crosby and you are golden. On the flip side, if Wan'Dale doesn't have another big week... this could be the end - an unfortunate occurrence after scoring the 2nd highest point total last week and still losing.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... making a playoff run and teaching a tennis coach what the true fall sport is at the same time!

Nips and Salsa (10-2) v 2AP (4-8) 

Not the team you want to face when you need to win out the rest of the season. Chase comes back from suspension and Waddle comes back from bye - things might be looking up! However, there is just too much firepower on the other side. Gibbs and JSN were the top point scorers across all positions last week and if Lamar Jackson can actually wake-up this team might go into the playoffs as being the odds favorite. Maybe we need to make a phone call to Sean Mcvay and have him start giving Kyren some more touches.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... fleeced (riiiiiight) everyone's team, will he choke in the playoffs?

AR's Finger (2-10) v BEKH (4-8)

This is a must win week for BEKH... typically this would be a great matchup for them, however - we all know how these things go. ARF has been eliminated from the playoffs, so now they are going to have their best week of the year. Truly, the lineups in this matchup are not that bad - the cookie has just not crumbled the correct way for these teams. Look for ARF to make someone else join them this week - unless Achane has 50 points. 

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: BEKH... battle of 2 bad teams, who cares?

1st Downs Syndrome (8-4) v Ertz/Eifert (8-4)

In the grand scheme of things, if we were picking the best actual matchup... this is the Matchup of the Week. On top of that, 1st Downs Syndrome might just be the darkhorse of the playoffs. Drake Maye is playing great football, CMC is the scrimmage yards king of the NFL, Bucky Irving is returning (hopefully), Henderson has taken of the starting role at RB. On the flip side, you have the man trying to chase down Maye for MVP (Stafford), ARSB (top 3 WR), Pickens (top 3 WR), Dowdle (top 10 RB). These are 2 playoff teams for a reason... you hate to say, but this might come down to forecasting the DEF and Kicker... give me Mr. Mevis (who is that guy?!?!?) for the win!

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... best players overall, close

Project Tush Push (7-5) v Slender TD's (4-8)

There legitimately might not be a scarier looking 4-8 lineup in the world than the Slender lineup. Mahomes, Henry and Hall, and Puka and Wilson (replacement for MHJ). How are those five players on the same team and still 4-8? Because the Chiefs have had a down year, Henry has not been the King, New Yorks offensive line couldn't play in high school, Puka was injured. But now? Now they are back. Luckily for Tush Push they already have their 7 wins... this is going to be a tough matchup for them.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Tush Push... by a bunch

ARBL (6-6) v Frosted Flaccos (10-2)

At some point, the top 2 teams fighting for the 1 seed are going to slip. Juuuuuussst probably not this week (at least for Frosted Flaccos). Every once in a while you get a TE that comes along and makes things almost unfair when it comes to fantasy lineups. Kelce was that for a couple years, Taysom Hill was that for one year (when he played QB, but you could slot him in TE), Marques Colston was that once upon a time. Trey McBride is now that - he would rank as the 6th best fantasy WR. Which really just gives Flaccos the freedom set their lineup however they please. Ohhhh yeah, and Bijan is a stud.

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos

Mystery Guest: Frosted Flaccos... glad he is at the middle school, we would hear all about it!

The J-Bones (7-5) v Cleveland Streamers (4-8)

There is a world where the final week means nothing, in terms of making or missing the playoffs. In order for that to happen, The J-Bones need a big win here. We do get to see if the long wait from the waiver wire pickup of Joe Burrow was worth it. If Burrow is the Burrow of ole, this team could make a deeper than expected run in the playoffs. Streamers is doing what they can to stay alive, but as long as McCarthy is QB - I just don't trust Jefferson. The hardest part about that situation, you just can't take him out of your starting lineup... not a guy like that. 

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... Shedeur is out there, maybe the Streamers pick him up?

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you 2AP - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike!

With Love

Commish

Week 12 Predictions

There have officially been 4 "spots" locked up in the league...

Frosted Flaccos/Nips and Salsa/Ertz When Eifert are in the playoffs in some form of another and AR's Finger has been eliminated (which does lock your team - no dropping/waiver wire/trading - you rock with what you got).  Even though ESPN technically gives AR's Finger a 1 percent chance.... 

Yes, I went through all the possibilities and found a way for AR's Finger to make the playoffs... it is possible - it involves them winning out and the perfect breakdown of wins and losses from every team still fighting for a spot. If it happens, Bootay Pirates or Indiana Jones would be the other team. This is like The Avengers when Doctor Strange told Iron man there is only 1 way...

But we essentially, we have a 10 team race for 5 spots - let's break it down....

The J-Bones - favorite to be the next one to clinch a playoff spot... they won without Johnathan Taylor and now he is back in the office and ready to log in some hours. They also welcome back Chris Olave from the bye - which isn't too shabby... we just never know if we can trust the QB situation in New Orleans. One of the good things for The J-Bones is the fact they are currently winning pretty much any tie-breaker... they have actually scored the 3rd most points (as of this writing).

1st Downs Syndrome - if The J-bones done get it done first, you can pretty much count on this squad. They have the 4th most points scored in the league and are not that far behind 3rd place. Drake Maye is the front runner for NFL MVP, CMC is a dawg and if Treveyawn Henderson can do what did last week on a regular - this team is a serious contender.

Project Tush Push - next in line to secure a spot would be Project Tush Push. They have one of the easiest (if not the easiest) remaining schedules. They do not face a single opponent with a winning record... their destiny is in their hands and it is going to come down to the rookies and their performances. This week is a golden opportunity to get magic number 7.

After these 3 teams, that leaves 2 spots up for grabs for 7 teams to fight for. Some teams did what they had to do to stay in the race... but, the following team is on thin ice:

Slender TD's: One of the hardest schedules left of the teams battling for playoff spots. Slender has to be practically perfect - and 2 out of the 3 weeks involve playing a team with a winning record and ending with the current number 1 seeded team (Frosted Flaccos). Slender not only needs to win all three... they also need some help with the other matchups to fall their way in terms of who wins and loses.

We are now down to 6 teams - let's assume that the final seed will somehow squeak in with 6 wins... which leaves all 6 teams able to make it. Here are some interesting things to note for the final stretch...

A) Bootay Pirates and Indiana Jones play each back to back in the final 2 weeks. They are both firmly in the race and both teams have matchups against 3 of the teams that have already clinched their spot. Which means that in order for one of these teams to make it - they may need to sweep each other.

B) 2AP has an incredibly tough final stretch with matchups against 2 top teams in the final two weeks. Now with "Spit Gate" (also the name of last night's escapade) happening a Chase being possibly out this week - things just get that much harder for 2AP - but the rumor is, he likes it hard.

C) ARBL really needs to win this week... after this week they face-off against 2 of the 3 teams that have already locked up their playoff spot. The problem is their bench has been decimated with injuries - currently on their bench is 4 players either out or one the IR. They are able to make a completed lineup, which means anything can happen - but this is essentially a must win week.

D)  That leaves BEKH and Cleveland Streamers, neither one has a great schedule to end. BEKH does have one very winnable week - but both teams have matchups that they will be the underdog. It truly is amazing how open things are for these final spots. If I had to put money on it... I would say 1 team from these make-it... but not both! 

Matchup of the Week

ARBL (5-6) v Cleveland Streamers (4-7)

There are two really enticing matchups... obviously this is one of them. This matchup has a lot on the line for both teams... I predict that the winner of this matchup gets into the playoffs. This is not a spot clinching matchup - I just think it carries that much importance in the grand scheme of how final weeks will go. Let's talk about 2 teams that are carrying no bench: ARBL has 4 players out with injuries and Streamers has 5 empty/bye week spots. Streamers presents more firepower (Jefferson/Tetairoroirioiori/Kittle), but anything can happen. ARBL has tough matchups in terms of players going against tough defenses (New England/Philly/Cleveland). Things are not look good for ARBL, look for Streamers to leap frog them in the standings this week.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers

Nips and Salsa (9-2) v Indiana Jones (4-7)

This is a big matchup, but different reasons for each team. Nips is fighting for the number 1 seed and regular season champion crown. Indiana Jones is fighting for a playoff spot. You know what, I am just going to say this.... I don't understand ESPN projections. AJ Brown is being projected 16.3 points - he has only surpassed that 2 times this season. There is turmoil between AJ Brown and the offense. I just don't get it. Josh Jacobs is at least out this week for Indiana Jones, so it comes down the Danny Dimes against the KC defense. The Chiefs notably blitz on passing downs and attempt to make the opponent a little more one dimensional. I think that Indianapolis Colts will happily keep handing the ball to Taylor - but that doesn't help Dimes fantasy wise.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa

Bootay Pirates (5-6) v Ertz/Eifert (8-3)

Ertz/Eifert is coming off a big loss (one that may have knocked them out of contention for the 1 seed)... maybe they look to get a little revenge. Nothing better than getting a matchup that has you heavily coming after a loss. However, I just don't see that big of a disparity as the projections show. Maybe I am delusional? Or maybe ESPN should hire me, then I can suck my way to the top - to get my own show and I can make fun of sh*tty fantasy manager decisions on live television. Just a few blahhhhhs!! I digress.... I think Ertz/Eiferts wins - but it closer than what it seems ESPN thinks it should be.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates

The J-Bones (7-4) v Frosted Flaccos (9-2)

When we talk about big time matchups... this is one of them. The other possible choice for MotW... we get the 1st seed and top point scorer in the league against the 3rd seed and 3rd highest point scorer in the league. This matchup doesn't have a lot of effect on the playoff cut-off portion of the league - but it does carry some weight for the seeding game. This is also a battle between 2 of the top tier RBs in the league... JT v Bijan. Whichever RB wins that matchup will win their team the matchup... who has the better stallion?

Prediction: Frosted Flaccos

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

2AP (4-7) v Slender TD (3-8)

I don't know if Slender paid someone in the Bengals organization to squeal about the "Spit Gate" - but it has shifted the tide for this matchup. To be honest, I would not mind seeing a team with Mahomes/King Henry/Puka be knocked out of the playoff push - but I just don't see it happening this week. Chase is suspended for this week, Waddle is on the bye.... it is essentially Josh Allen versus Slender - he likes those odds. At his point, let's see how much more wild sh*t Josh Allen can pull in his backyard session of football. It is like Josh Allen just decided to start a Youtube channel and film him and his buddies playing backyard football and they are going to try and just mess around and chuck it downfield..... only he is doing that in the NFL. 

Prediction: Slender TDs

Mystery Guest: Slender TDs

1st Downs Syndrome (7-4) v BEKH (4-7) 

This matchup pretty boils down to 2 things...

A) De'Vone Achan is on the bye

B) Christian McCaffrey is not on the bye

Any questions?

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome

Project Tush Push (6-5) v AR's Finger (2-9)

You want to know what makes things even more complicated for this whole playoff push? If Jackson Dart comes back and plays up to his standards, there is a good chance that AR's Finger wins this week. Let's just play that game out for him... in order to stay alive after this week he would need this scenario...

Winners:

Indiana Jones

Cleveland Streamers

Bootay Pirates

Slender TD's

1st Downs Syndrome

AR's finger

If any other combo hits that is these 6 teams winning... no bueno. Soooo, just to keep things interesting I am going with AR's Finger!

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Indiana Jones - may your entire roster be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Results

We are reaching interesting times and fun weeks.... for some.

We have teams that have found ways to win and stay in the race and we have teams that have just let the opportunity slip away. 

AR Finger has been knocked out of the playoff run... the worst part? He finished in the top half of the league in scoring this week. Essentially, AR Finger beat half the teams in the league - just not the team he needed to beat. It is like a kid who is failing a class and he comes up to his teacher and asks what he can do to pass.... "Uhhhhh, do your work four weeks ago and turn it in. Can you make that happen?"

If you feel lonely ARF... don't worry - you won't be the only one eliminated for long. Some of these teams did what they needed to do to stay in it... but we are looking at a "doormie" situation.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-3) v Nips and Salsa (9-2)

The big question.... is this the year for The Nips? Most likely not. If he wants to feel good about this year - he needs to score a bunch points and win the regular season. Obviously, this was not Ertz/Eifert's week - but hey, get that out of the way this year. Nips did not have the best week... but it was a weird week with the NFL. Either way, this one went about as we expected... minus the ARSB scoring 6 points and Lamar scoring 4.7 points. However, when there is depth in a roster - points can come from a lot of places... JSN and C. Watson both carried the team with 20 points. Who would have thought that a team with Barkley/Gibbs/Kyren and they are carried by the receivers? Scary thought.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers (4-7) v Proj. Tush Push (6-5)

Talk about a big win for the Streamers... Holy Tetarioiaoioaioaoi!! McMillan had 2 touchdowns all season going into this week and he doubled that total on one Sunday afternoon. To follow that up, George Kittle is really good at what he does and the 49ers offense as a whole looks pretty dang good with Purdy under center. CMC is always going to be the guy in the offense, but Kittle is pretty much the number 2 guy in that offense. On the flip side, no one showed up (outside of Drake London) for Project Tush Push. In a week that should helped separate Tush Push... he only find himself even more in the mud.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Indiana Jones (4-7) v 2AP (4-7)

Who is the one guy you don't want to see on the opposite side going down the stretch? For me, it is Josh Allen. No matter how the vote goes down, he is the genuine MVP of the NFL. If you take him off the Buffalo Bills they are a mid-level to bottom tier team. With him, they are a contender. Kind of like in fantasy football. Take Josh Allen off this team... ehhhhhhhhh. With him.... watch out, watch out, watch out. On the flip side, Josh Jacobs has now created a tough situation for Jones. With a big loss this week - there is hole that needs filled as we come down the stretch. A Josh Jacobs size hole.

Prediction: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... WRONG!!

Frosted Flaccos (9-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-6)

I am a devoted Indianapolis Colts fan and I love Johnathan Taylor. However, if you took every player off their current team and did a complete restart draft.... I would take Bijan Robinson as the number one RB. I love his game and his versatility. On top of having him, Trey McBride is the top dawg when it comes to TE. The Frosted Flaccos might be the favorite to win the league and win the coveted Ron Jeremy trophy. Who doesn't want that thing decorating their room... apparently Bootay Pirates doesn't.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!

Slender TD's (3-8) v ARBL (5-6)

Annnnnnnnddddd..... this was another match that could have ended a team's season - but noooooo they decide to wake-up and have a monster week. You really start to ask yourself, "Where was this before?" Well, it might be the fact that Michael Wilson scored more than Marvin Harrison Jr ever scored. Derrick Henry actually had a game that King Henry approved. On the flip side, just a dud week for ARBL - gotta be better next week. After this week there will be 7 teams within 2 games of each other... and 5-6 find themselves right in the middle of it.

Prediction: ARBL... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL... WRONG!!

BEKH (4-7) v The J-Bones (7-4)

It has gotta be a good feeling to get a win with Johnathan Taylor on the bye. Surrrreeee, you didn't break 100 points and you won because the other team absolutely sucked this week. But hey, getting a win is incredibly important at this stage in the game. Long Neck Mills did his job and found Nico in the end zone to help him be the matchup leader in points. The crazier part - this matchup had to look so promising after the game over the pond. Achane comes out of that slugfest with 21.5 points - amazingly still 6 points short of his projections.... ESPN is stupid. All I know, BEKH spoiled a great chance to get a win against a top team with their top player out.

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH... WRONG!!

AR's Finger (2-9) v 1st Downs Syndrome (7-4)

I already touched on the end to Finger's season... but they can still play spoiler. The more interesting part is how good 1st Downs looks. If Henderson can keep doing what he did this week - this team is one of the favorites to win it all. Maye is the current MVP favorite (although not for long with Josh Allen breathing down his neck). CMC is healthy and that equals extremely good. After that, just show up and score close to 10 points. 1st Downs has a legitimate case to make a run, it needs help to win the regular season - but who cares about that? Everybody remembers Eli's Giants because they beat the New England Patriots when they were undefeated, nobody cares that the Patriots were undefeated.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Season: 51-26

Mystery Guest: 4-37

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Predictions

I truly don't remember the last time something like this has happened in our fantasy league. In fact there has never been a time when we have had a 3-way tie at the top of the league with a record of 8-2 or better. We have 3 teams that have already all but locked up their spot in the playoffs and they are now battling for the top seed. I am sure something crazy will happen and this race will get muddy and crazy - but as it stands, we almost have 6 of the 14 teams with their spots locked up. That means that the other 8 are the only ones really fighting for spots. Let's play this game out....

There are 4 weeks left and this is what we like to call the Big Penis Predictor...

Raging Boner

Frosted Flaccos

Nips and Salsa

Ertz/Eifert

All 3 of these teams have 8 wins and 1 more win for sure locks them in the playoffs, but that is not necessarily needed. They most likely are already in with 8 wins, you never know - something tragic could happen (but they are most likely in).

Chubby

Project Tush Push

1st Downs Syndrome

The J-Bones

These teams should get it, but it will be interesting down the stretch where they finish. The J-Bones have to survive this week without Johnathan Taylor and their last 2 weeks are favorable. The other 2 teams are technically still fighting for a top spot in the league, 1st Downs has 3 comfy matchups - but Tush Push should be favored in every matchup from here to the end. Destiny is in their hands for making the playoffs, but they will need help to get the top spot.

Floppy and Limp

ARBL

Bootay Pirates

Indiana Jones

BEKH

2 of these teams need to get in (assuming the Inward Sockets are dead to rights), but nobody knows who it will be. This is where the big-time playoff push is focused, the remaining 4 weeks will be fun for these four teams.

Inward Socket

A.R.'s Finger

Slender TD's

Cleveland Streamers

2AP

All 3 of these teams are sitting at 3-7 or worse, ARF and Slender are sitting at 2-8 and they need to run the table and get lucky with some teams losing. Those two teams are technically still in it - buuuutttttt don't hold your breath. The other 2 teams (2AP and Streamers) could run the table and get to 7-7, but their remaining schedules are not favorable and it just feels like a year that you need 8 wins to get in.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert (8-2) v Nips and Salsa (8-2)

Is this going to be the week that Nips and Salsa win a belt? Bettors say no. Is Ertz/Eifert going to stay hot and squeak out another win? Bettors also say no. Looks for the big 3 (Gibbs/Williams/Barkley) to carry the boats and everyone else to chip-in where they can. It is crazy to call those the big 3 and you still have Lamar/JSN/Bower in the lineup... but then you look at the other side of the matchup and St. Brown and Dowdle also provide their own special kind of firepower. Should be entertaining to see which wins... momentum or lineups?

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Who is stopping this team? He has fleeced all the good players."

Cleveland Streamers (2-8) v Proj. Tush Push (6-4)

There is an edge for Tush Push, but I will be honest - I would not want to play the Streamers down the stretch. The idea that Jefferson/McConkey/Kittle are all three on a team that is struggling is crazy. This trio provides big-time plays and plenty of opportunity. Not to mention that those three players also have very comfy matchups... look for Cleveland Streamers to play the role of spoilers and keep their slim chances alive in the playoff race.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Just like Cleveland, Streamers can't buy a win!

Indiana Jones (4-6) v 2AP (3-7)

Chase returns for 2AP, but they have yet to figure out the RB situation. On the flip side, is Indiana Jones the highest projected point total in the league? Yes. However, they have only ever eclipsed that point total 1 time this season. Either ESPN has just stopped caring about updating some of the predictions or these are just the most comfy matchups across the league. The other crazy stat to note... Dallas Goedert is actually averaging more than AJ Brown but project to be outscored by nearly 4 points - good thing they are on the same team.

Prediction: Indiana Jones

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... Somebody tell 2AP to just give it up now

Frosted Flaccos (8-2) v Bootay Pirates (5-5)

Is this the day that more than 1 of the "Raging Boner" teams lose? The other two are playing each other and if Bootay Pirates can pull off the upset, that might just happen. The issue is that Kelce and Rice are going against Denver's defense... who have given up 15 or less points in the last 2 weeks. If they have big games, Bootay could really do it. Maybe it is wishful thinking to slim up the herd in the front, maybe it is CeeDee Lamb getting to go against a week Las Vegas defense - but I am thinking that this is the Pirates week!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... Jump on the Pain Train, Bootay by a bunch

Slender TD's (2-8) v ARBL (5-5)

2 things to note in this matchup...

A) Slender has 2 kickers on their roster... bold move

B) Injuries are killing Slender's lineup right now

For those reasons, I am out.

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: ARBL... "Loss number 7 for Slender" (No idea what this means_

BEKH (4-6) v The J-Bones (6-4)

This is a bad week for The J-Bones, not only are they missing Johnathan Taylor - but they are also missing Olave. A loss this week would all but kill The J-Bones chances to win the top seed, but they should still be fine to make the playoffs. On the flip side, if BEKH can pull off the win this week - it would go a long way to help their case in the playoff push. Truthfully, BEKH's lineup is not that bad... I would not want to play them in week 1 of the playoffs (if they get in).

Prediction: BEKH

Mystery Guest: BEKH... "The J-Bones have too many players on bye"

A.R.'s Finger (2-8) v 1st Downs Syndrome (6-4)

I talked to the GM of ARF earlier this week and they openly said, "We have the worst team in the league." I would disagree with that statement, but it is a boom or bust type lineup. Some of these players have the potential to score in the 20's, but their floor is also extremely low. That makes for a scary team to play when you are in the middle of a playoff race. However, 1st Downs Syndrome is touting the new NFL MVP favorite (Maye) alongside CMC - I am not picking against those two.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Easy win with D. Maye"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Ertz/Eifert - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never ending loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 10 Results

I am not sure what is crazier... scoring your highest point total as a team and losing (BEKH) or winning with your 2nd lowest point total as a team (ARBL). There must be something in the water with those acronym teams. This was weird week with football in general...

Bills lost to Miami

Jets won their 2nd game

Saints won their 2nd game

Drake Maye is the MVP favorite

Both TNF and MNF games were absolute trash - a combined 34 points, with both games ending at 10-7. 

On top of that, we also had some of the biggest performances we have seen in a long time...

Johnathan Taylor - 49.6 points

De'Von Achane - 40.5 points

Jahmyr Gibbs - 38.2 points

After that, it drops down 10 points and we don't have another player that scored over 30 points. This is the fewest number of players to score over 30 points since week 3 - and there were 4 players that scored 29.something.

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Who would have thought that best 2 QB in the league, and top two candidates to win the MVP, would be Drake Maye and Matthew Stafford. Don't get me wrong, they are dawgs.... but nobody saw this coming at the beginning of the season. 

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Nobody saw the Jets and the cocaine driven Dolphins winning this week. I don't know what kind of party these teams were at the night before, but sign me up!

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Matchup of the Week

Project Tush Push (6-4) v Frosted Flaccos (8-2)

It is one thing to change your name. It is another thing to change your name a 2nd time. It is another thing to change your name to a player that isn't even playing in the same week. It is another thing to keep doing that and then winning. 

Get it the f*ck together Tush Push. Just because the Packer suck doesn't mean your team needs to suck as well. There can only be one sucker... just not enough suckables to go around.

Weird things are happening in football.... weird things.

Prediction: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Nips and Salsa (8-2) v BEKH (4-6)

Highest point total all season... check

Running back goes off for 40 points.... check

Wide receiver scores 20 points.... check

Opponent sat a defense that scored 20 points and played a defense that score -1.... check

Won the matchup.... NOPE

How is that possible? Achane scored the highest point total in the matchup and the 2nd highest in the league. Nips played the Buccs defense, who score -1 points. Egbuka continued his tear in his campaign for ROTY. And yet, Nips still prevail.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Nips and Salsa.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

1st Downs Syndrome (6-4) v Cleveland Streamers (3-7)

I am going to be honest, this is the first matchup that made sense. The exact quatro that I thought would win the battle, did win. What doesn't make sense to me is how Kylie Minogue can still rush for a touchdown at the ripe age of 57 and after her singing career.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-4) v Indiana Jones (4-6)

You really don't need for much else when your top scorer nearly grabs himself a Curtis Jackson. I almost never call how things are going to work out in the games correctly... but hot dang did I nail a Berlin chick on this one. It was as if someone within the organization had tipped me off and I just knew. 

Now wouldn't it be funny, if some big wig stumbled upon this blog and then they had to do a full investigation into the Indianapolis organization. Just wait... it is going to happen. I will never reveal my source.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (5-5) v Slender TD's (2-8)

This was a big loss for Slender TD's... especially when you get some decent performances from Puka and Marvin. It did take 20 points from the Seattle defense and Tez Johnson to take down Slender TD's. It is wild to think that Puka is most likely going to be on the outside looking in when it comes to the playoffs. I mean truthfully, I look at Slender's team and I am actually dumbfounded at how they are 2-8.

Mahomes. King Henry. Puka. MHJ. Breece.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Slender TD's... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

2AP (3-7) v Ertz/Eifert (8-2)

The rise and fall of Chubba Hubbard is something that not even Enron could mirror. Without Chubba this team is reliant on big time scores and when you remove Chase from the lineup (bye) then you are just removing a big-time playmaker. On the flip side, Stafford is the shock on the league (helps when he is throwing to Puka) and he is playing top-tier football. Dowdle has been a big pickup, but this is almost a team of destiny. Lineup looks shaky.... but they just keep winning.

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert.... RIGHT!!

ARBL (5-5) v AR's Finger (2-8)

This is a big win for ARBL... even if it is against a struggling team. When you are 5-5, you give yourself a fighting chance. However, scoring 70 points is not going to be a way to win in future weeks. It will be interesting for these teams to go down the stretch with one team fighting for a spot and one team playing the spoiler. I predict one of these teams will knock out a team in the playoff running. But for this week, there is nothing better than scoring the 2nd lowest point total and still getting the win....

Weird things are happening in football... weird things.

Prediction: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 48-22

Mystery Guest: 38-32

With Love 

Commish

Week 10 Predictions

There are a few important numbers that you need to keep in mind for the remainder of the fantasy season

7: The bare minimum number of wins it is going to take to get into the playoffs

122.4: The average point total of winning teams throughout the past 4 weeks

31.4: The average point total of the top scoring player on the winning teams in the past 4 weeks

11282025: Trade Deadline

3: The number of times I plan on winning the belt from her to the end of the regular season

1: The number of times I will have won the league after this season

6,243: The number of words my victory speech will consist of... can't wait to post the video

It is time to strap-in, because these final 5 weeks are about to crazy. There will be a few more trades made, but don't forget... if your team is officially eliminated for the playoffs - you can't trade or drop players. For the record, officially eliminated means that you have a 0% chance to make the playoffs from ESPN. It should also be noted, that it will be highly frowned upon if there are colluding trades made throughout the league. The overall general understanding is that you are trying to win the league with your team. If colluding is discovered, you will have your choice of punishments....

A) Firing Squad

B) 50 Dick Punches

Matchup of the Week

Project Tush Push (6-3) v Frosted Flaccos (7-2)

I will be honest, I almost passed on this matchup for the MotW simply because of the constant team name changes from Frosted Flaccos aka AP2 aka Cocaine Cowboys. Don't we all know how much our beloved biology dislikes change? Not to mention, it is hard for me to keep consistency for Korean readers to track what is happening in the league. This matchup is a big deal for a couple reasons... this is 2 of the top 4 teams in the league and a loss this late in the season will really hurt the chances of securing the top seed in the playoffs. This week I am taking Tush Push for one reason only - a team name change for a player on the bye is just throwing off the feng shui of the team.

Prediction: Project Tush Push

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... "Battle of Defiance College. No Flacco? No win!"

Nips and Salsa (7-2) v BEKH (4-5)

At this point (not that it was ever going to be different), there is never going to be a matchup when I don't pick Nips and Salsa. Cards on the table (not the Arizona)... after waiting for players to return from injury - this is the team to beat down the stretch. Can it be done? Sure. It certainly isn't happening this week - I am just sending up prayers for J.J. McCarthy. He is now next in line of the QB injury list that is BEKH's team. Sorry big guy... the Michigan Miracle Man is going down!

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... "Nips by a mile. Maybe gearing up to win the whole thing."

1st Downs Syndrome (5-4) v Cleveland Streamers* (3-6)

What a matchup this is!! We got a run heavy lineup (CMC/Irving/Monangai) vs a pass heavy lineup (Jefferson/Ladd/Tetairoa/Kittle). It is interesting, it will probably come down to the role players and whichever team can have someone step-up. Let's assume these all cancel each other out, who are you betting on?

Maye/Odunze/BTJ/Schultz v Goff/Harvey/Mason

If I was a betting man... I would say, give me the PRK 2 QB in the league.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Closer than the predicted score"

The J-Bones** (5-4) v Indiana Jones* (4-5)

Is the Johnathan Taylor the best running back in the league? I would say yes... fantasy wise he is currently number 2. That changes after this weekend - he is going to shred the Atlanta defense. Why? The Atlanta secondary is actually, as the kids call it... nice. They are allowing the fewest passing yards per game - so what should the offense do? Hand the ball off to their stallion. Look for Taylor to take over this game, take over the top spot, and take over this matchup. Sorry Danny Dimes... time to hand the reigns over to the thoroughbred you have in the stable.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... "Daniel Jones letdown gives The J-Bones the win"

Bootay Pirates (4-5) v Slender TD's** (2-7)

Call it one of the biggest upsets... but I just don't see how Slender TD's loses this matchup. Sure, Patty Mahomes is on bye. Suuuuurrreeee... whoever the hell Chimere Dike is on bye. But with the lineup that can be envisioned - this is a matchup that Slender could win. Not only could they win... but it would also keep them in the game for the chase of the final playoff spot. On the flip side, there is just too much firepower on bye in a crucial week. Missing CeeDee/Kelce/Rice/Ridley is just too much to replace.

Prediction: Slender TD's

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "Bootay by a mile! Making a push for the playoffs"

2AP (3-6) v Ertz/Eifert** (7-2)

Is there a luckier team in the league? Ertz/Eifert now plays 2AP without Chase, Hubbard has all but lost his job, Warren has to play against the number secondary. If Judkins doesn't play this week - there is chance that 2AP scores less than 90 points. Ertz/Eifert has a good team - arguably one of the top lineups... but it is getting overshadowed by the fortunate schedule they have had. It is similar to when a team like IU enter the CFP - are they really battle tested? Last season IU made the CFP, but had a SOS (Strength of Schedule) in the 90's out of a 130 some D1 teams. Obviously, things did not end well... could it be the same outcome for Ertz/Eifert?

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert

Mystery Guest: Ertz/Eifert... "Let's just say no statue is getting built"

ARBL (4-5) v AR's Finger* (2-7)

Is there a worse feeling that making some moves, having your team get some wins - and then in a crucial week.... half your starting lineup is on the bye. I wish I had something cool to say about this matchup, but when a team doesn't even have enough illegible players to fill lineup on a Wednesday afternoon... it is trouble. This could not come at a better time for Finger - who needs a win to stay in the race. Is this the time for a nice little jumpstart?

Prediction: AR's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR's Finger... "Rare win. Too many people on bye for ARBL"

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you BEKH - may your entire lineup be stuck in a never end loop of teaching a blind kid how to ride a bike.

With Love

Commish

Week 9 Results

We are coming down the home stretch of the playoff push - just 5 weeks left of the regular season. For some reason, my mind instantly went to the famed musical "Rent." If you are unfamiliar with the John Larson rock musical classic, you aren't missing out. The musical focuses on musicians who can't pay rent and end up fighting the man. They each have their own super power....

Mark - Super Power: Retard Strength.... there is something to be said about being so dumb, that it eventually works out. 

Fantasy Teams

Cocaine Cowboys: Sometimes just putting your trust in a 40 year old QB with a CTE ridden back-up does get the job done

ARBL: Trades away his tops picks and goes on a run of wins

Maureen - Super Power: Plays for both teams (if you know what I mean)... sometimes you just never know if they are leaving with a guy or a doll.... but either way, they are finding a partner.

Fantasy Teams

A.R.'s Finger: They have had 6 different leading scorers

Nips and Salsa: They have had 7 different leading scorers

Mimi - Super Power: HIV... that infectious venom that singlehandedly take down anyone

Fantasy Teams:

Ertz/Eifert: The lowest points scored against by almost 100 points

BEKH: If you are a QB in his starting lineup... you are getting injured, get ready for some much needed elongated rest

Joanne - Super Power: Blind Confidence... she is the acute angle of the Mauren love triangle, she is also a lawyer - who happens to win cases off of luck and circumstance

1st downs Syndrome: Has more points scored against them then they have scored - yet somehow they have a winning record

Project Tush Push: Has currently avoided/will avoid having to play against: CeeDee Lamb, Rashee Rice, Nico Collins, CJ Stroud, Omarion Hampton, Brock Bowers, Lamar Jackson, AJ Brown, Emeka Egbuka, Coleston Loveland (on his big week), Joe Flacco (after his run of top 6 performances), Bo Nix

Benny - Super Power: None... this is the only good guy in the musical - maniacal landlord that just wants his money and then gets screwed (not literally) by a bunch of HIV touting gays

Slender TD's: Scored the 5th most points and still sits 13th place... screw job

Bootay Pirates: Scored the 2nd most points and sits in 7th place... very possible that this team does not make the playoffs

I would like to formally apologize to Cleveland Streamers, The J-Bones, 1st Downs Syndrome, and Indiana Jones for not finding a role in my favorite AIDs rock musical. If you would like I will give you first dibbs to the roles you would like in next month playing of Annie.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz/Eifert** (7-2) v The J-Bones** (5-4)

It is never going to be a good week for The J-Bones if Taylor struggles. If you look at The J-Bones success it is almost entirely dependent upon Taylor and how he does in the week. If Taylor breaks the 25 point barrier - it has happened 5 times, they are 4-1. Taylor didn't break the 25 point barrier this week, which drops their record to a a miserable 1-3 when that doesn't happen. On the flip side, Ertz/Eifert won their 2nd belt of the season and now they join an elite group that has dramatically increased their chances of making it the championship. In the past 5 years the championship has featured at least one team that has multiple belts wins throughout the season. This win not only puts him into a good spot for that stat, but it also moves him up into the middle of the pack with points scored - something a little more respectable than the bottom third.

Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

AR's Finger* (2-7) v Nips and Salsa (7-2)

Nips and Salsa looked like a pretty tough team to beat, but who would have thought that Brock Bowers would the have biggest week of them all. To follow that up, Lamar Jackson was the 2nd highest scorer on the team... if you are tracking both of those players were picked up through trades. Seem unfair? After the trades, Nips had to wait 4 weeks for them to finally play. We will see if this wait was worth it, this week? Worth it. On the flip side, AR's is almost reaching to point of having their team being shut down when it comes to trading (once eliminated, you can not trade or drop players). I guess - just do what you can to survive... it is now or never!

Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Cleveland Streamers* (3-6) v Bootay Pirates (4-5)

Until you get to the receivers on Cleveland Streamers - the lineup resembles something from the movie Replacements. Jacoby Brissett? (He is playing well, actually very well). RJ Harvey? Playing decently the past 2 weeks - but can not be trusted. Tyjae Spears? This team is leaving off the scrapes of committees outside of the WR/TE position. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates represents a even spread of points - nothing too dominate, but usually a consistent spread. This week they have had 7 different scorers in double digits and on 7 out of the 9 weeks they have had at least 5 scorers in double digits. What can we learn from this? Consistently trust the Booty... don't trust the steam that comes out of it!

Prediction: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

Slender TD's** (2-7) v 1st Downs Syndrome (5-4)

You know what's a scary thought? 1st Downs Syndrome just scored 130 points with arguably 4 starters on the bye. No bueno for the rest of the league. At this point, CMC is a dawg and things are looking good for him to continue to play with ample opportunity - the 49ers need to keep winning. On the flip side, Slender is glad to have Puka back... but Mahomes and the RB's didn't really do their jobs. In all honesty, this is a weird matchup to look at... I am trying to find where the surprise was that cost Slender the needed win - but even if Mahomes scores 25 points - they still lose. They big surprise Kyle Monangai scoring 22... but is it a surprise? I would trust any RB against the Cincy defense - especially now (just traded their ML).

Pridiction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

BEKH (4-5) v Project Tush Push (6-3)

If you want to talk about a team flying under the radar, it is Project Tush Push. They have not made a trade and are in the bottom half of transactions. They have never won the belt and they are quietly sitting one game back from leading the division. It might be the manager's style... it might be that they were D.D.A. ranked 9th and they have slowly crept-up. This team is the silent killer and you won't know they have in their crosshairs till it is too late. On the flip side, BEKH is just killing off QBs. They started with Joe Burrow, then moved on to Jayden Daniels, then had a sabbatical with Carson Wentz before he died, then returned to Jarden Daniels to finish the job. I am sorry Michigan fans, J.J. McCarthy is next!

Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!

Indiana Jones* (4-5) v ARBL (4-5)

Both of these teams have found ways to win their matchups in the recent weeks... ARBL was in the top half of the league scoring 1 time in the past 4 weeks and went 3-1. Indiana Jones started just 2 players that also started for this team in week 1. When we talk about trying to make something with your teams... these guys are doing it - now they both sit below .500... but they are putting in the effort to try and get the job done. Can't knock the effort! 

Prediction: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!

Cocaine Cowboys (7-2) v 2AP (3-6)

I am not entirely sure who HIM is... but I am pretty sure Joe Flacco is pretty frickin' close. Since being acquired by the Bengals - Flacco is averaging 24.94 points a week. That makes him the number 1 QB based on average points per week. Also, who the hell plays Tory Horton? Where are your getting your information? If 2AP had issues at RB before... they are in even bigger trouble now. Hubbard has pretty much lost his starting job and now 2AP is stuck with no one at RB.

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!

Season Prediction: 44-19

Mystery Guest: 33-30

With Love

Commish