We are coming down the home stretch of the playoff push - just 5 weeks left of the regular season. For some reason, my mind instantly went to the famed musical "Rent." If you are unfamiliar with the John Larson rock musical classic, you aren't missing out. The musical focuses on musicians who can't pay rent and end up fighting the man. They each have their own super power....
Mark - Super Power: Retard Strength.... there is something to be said about being so dumb, that it eventually works out.
Fantasy Teams
Cocaine Cowboys: Sometimes just putting your trust in a 40 year old QB with a CTE ridden back-up does get the job done
ARBL: Trades away his tops picks and goes on a run of wins
Maureen - Super Power: Plays for both teams (if you know what I mean)... sometimes you just never know if they are leaving with a guy or a doll.... but either way, they are finding a partner.
Fantasy Teams
A.R.'s Finger: They have had 6 different leading scorers
Nips and Salsa: They have had 7 different leading scorers
Mimi - Super Power: HIV... that infectious venom that singlehandedly take down anyone
Fantasy Teams:
Ertz/Eifert: The lowest points scored against by almost 100 points
BEKH: If you are a QB in his starting lineup... you are getting injured, get ready for some much needed elongated rest
Joanne - Super Power: Blind Confidence... she is the acute angle of the Mauren love triangle, she is also a lawyer - who happens to win cases off of luck and circumstance
1st downs Syndrome: Has more points scored against them then they have scored - yet somehow they have a winning record
Project Tush Push: Has currently avoided/will avoid having to play against: CeeDee Lamb, Rashee Rice, Nico Collins, CJ Stroud, Omarion Hampton, Brock Bowers, Lamar Jackson, AJ Brown, Emeka Egbuka, Coleston Loveland (on his big week), Joe Flacco (after his run of top 6 performances), Bo Nix
Benny - Super Power: None... this is the only good guy in the musical - maniacal landlord that just wants his money and then gets screwed (not literally) by a bunch of HIV touting gays
Slender TD's: Scored the 5th most points and still sits 13th place... screw job
Bootay Pirates: Scored the 2nd most points and sits in 7th place... very possible that this team does not make the playoffs
I would like to formally apologize to Cleveland Streamers, The J-Bones, 1st Downs Syndrome, and Indiana Jones for not finding a role in my favorite AIDs rock musical. If you would like I will give you first dibbs to the roles you would like in next month playing of Annie.
Matchup of the WeekErtz/Eifert** (7-2) v The J-Bones** (5-4)
It is never going to be a good week for The J-Bones if Taylor struggles. If you look at The J-Bones success it is almost entirely dependent upon Taylor and how he does in the week. If Taylor breaks the 25 point barrier - it has happened 5 times, they are 4-1. Taylor didn't break the 25 point barrier this week, which drops their record to a a miserable 1-3 when that doesn't happen. On the flip side, Ertz/Eifert won their 2nd belt of the season and now they join an elite group that has dramatically increased their chances of making it the championship. In the past 5 years the championship has featured at least one team that has multiple belts wins throughout the season. This win not only puts him into a good spot for that stat, but it also moves him up into the middle of the pack with points scored - something a little more respectable than the bottom third.
Prediction: Ertz/Eifert... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!
AR's Finger* (2-7) v Nips and Salsa (7-2)
Nips and Salsa looked like a pretty tough team to beat, but who would have thought that Brock Bowers would the have biggest week of them all. To follow that up, Lamar Jackson was the 2nd highest scorer on the team... if you are tracking both of those players were picked up through trades. Seem unfair? After the trades, Nips had to wait 4 weeks for them to finally play. We will see if this wait was worth it, this week? Worth it. On the flip side, AR's is almost reaching to point of having their team being shut down when it comes to trading (once eliminated, you can not trade or drop players). I guess - just do what you can to survive... it is now or never!
Prediction: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!
Cleveland Streamers* (3-6) v Bootay Pirates (4-5)
Until you get to the receivers on Cleveland Streamers - the lineup resembles something from the movie Replacements. Jacoby Brissett? (He is playing well, actually very well). RJ Harvey? Playing decently the past 2 weeks - but can not be trusted. Tyjae Spears? This team is leaving off the scrapes of committees outside of the WR/TE position. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates represents a even spread of points - nothing too dominate, but usually a consistent spread. This week they have had 7 different scorers in double digits and on 7 out of the 9 weeks they have had at least 5 scorers in double digits. What can we learn from this? Consistently trust the Booty... don't trust the steam that comes out of it!
Prediction: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!
Slender TD's** (2-7) v 1st Downs Syndrome (5-4)
You know what's a scary thought? 1st Downs Syndrome just scored 130 points with arguably 4 starters on the bye. No bueno for the rest of the league. At this point, CMC is a dawg and things are looking good for him to continue to play with ample opportunity - the 49ers need to keep winning. On the flip side, Slender is glad to have Puka back... but Mahomes and the RB's didn't really do their jobs. In all honesty, this is a weird matchup to look at... I am trying to find where the surprise was that cost Slender the needed win - but even if Mahomes scores 25 points - they still lose. They big surprise Kyle Monangai scoring 22... but is it a surprise? I would trust any RB against the Cincy defense - especially now (just traded their ML).
Pridiction: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!
BEKH (4-5) v Project Tush Push (6-3)
If you want to talk about a team flying under the radar, it is Project Tush Push. They have not made a trade and are in the bottom half of transactions. They have never won the belt and they are quietly sitting one game back from leading the division. It might be the manager's style... it might be that they were D.D.A. ranked 9th and they have slowly crept-up. This team is the silent killer and you won't know they have in their crosshairs till it is too late. On the flip side, BEKH is just killing off QBs. They started with Joe Burrow, then moved on to Jayden Daniels, then had a sabbatical with Carson Wentz before he died, then returned to Jarden Daniels to finish the job. I am sorry Michigan fans, J.J. McCarthy is next!
Prediction: BEKH... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... RIGHT!!
Indiana Jones* (4-5) v ARBL (4-5)
Both of these teams have found ways to win their matchups in the recent weeks... ARBL was in the top half of the league scoring 1 time in the past 4 weeks and went 3-1. Indiana Jones started just 2 players that also started for this team in week 1. When we talk about trying to make something with your teams... these guys are doing it - now they both sit below .500... but they are putting in the effort to try and get the job done. Can't knock the effort!
Prediction: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Indiana Jones... RIGHT!!
Cocaine Cowboys (7-2) v 2AP (3-6)
I am not entirely sure who HIM is... but I am pretty sure Joe Flacco is pretty frickin' close. Since being acquired by the Bengals - Flacco is averaging 24.94 points a week. That makes him the number 1 QB based on average points per week. Also, who the hell plays Tory Horton? Where are your getting your information? If 2AP had issues at RB before... they are in even bigger trouble now. Hubbard has pretty much lost his starting job and now 2AP is stuck with no one at RB.
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!
Season Prediction: 44-19
Mystery Guest: 33-30
With Love
Commish
