"Fantasy Football will determine who you are as a man."
And I think that he is entirely correct. I was talking with a student the other day and the conversation turned down a path I really didn't want to go: him and how he has no friends. First off, don't waste my time with your problems - HAH, I have other things that need to be tended to. Secondly, he stated that he has no friends because all they do is make fun of each other. This boy is struggle in a man's world if he is looking for anything else - THIS IS WHAT WE DO!! And to be clear, by we I am referring to men. I make fun of my closest of friends - because that is how we get along. If you can't handle that - you might as well join Caitlyn J. and the other side - which don't get me started on that thin skinned piece of...
Okay, anyway - on to the results!
White Condomints (7-1) v Hernandez Hit Men (7-1)
Remember when I said I missed this? Yeah, my ass was on a cruise in the middle of the ocean - rough life I know! However, it also meant I was without internet and I could not take out Keke Coutee. Luckily, HHM was also without Gordon (he was at least able to replace him).
This was a battle of two teams that could see each other in the playoffs - maybe for the 'ship! Brown and Hopkins are unreal and with a nicely rounded out squad after that - White Condomints is a team that is looking take the regular season and the playoffs. This was a statement win, and if I was able to do the predictions - this would have been the clear favorite for Matchup of the Week.
HHM had his studs play well (Mahomes and McCaffrey), but everybody else after that was so-so. Nelson is a surprising no show, not the he has been lights-out - but rather he was going against the Colts defense and the Raiders just traded Amari Cooper. HHM shouldn't really be worried about making the playoffs - however they do drop off the undefeated train and then there was one!
Steady Diet (8-0) v Col. Erran Morad (1-7)
This comfy win could not have come at a better time than this week for our beloved football coach. I mean, can we all just give it up for Col. Erran Morad by just letting coach win so that he could focus on the big game this week. Hip, Hip...
Oh, wait a second - I just received word that Col. Morad did let him win - his team is just actually that bad. He was actually trying to win and scored that few of points?!? Well, this is a awkward....
Yes, like I was saying this an extremely comfy win. A win that pushes Steady Diet to the top of the league and now shifts the balance of power and the title of "Team to Beat" to Steady Diet. With strong performances from Newton, Kamara, and Mixon - no one else needed to play and SD would have still won - Steady Diet will be our last remaining undefeated team.
Col. Morad, the only redeeming value in your team (manhood) is that there are just so many injuries on your roster that you can at least blame that. Fournette being out definitely does not help in anyway. Either does A. Robinson - both of which would be automatic starters on your team. Luckily, this week it did not matter as you ran into a team that is handing out beatdowns left and right (trust I took mine in week 1).
Mike McCarthy is Gay (2-6) v Sagging TD's (1-7)
This was a battle for the ages! Okay, I am going to be honest - I don't know what to do. Sagging TD's this is the second time you have played guys were out or on a bye and lost. And you could have easily won this matchup - you had Carson and Crowell on the bench. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you are still attempting to win games and not giving up. But you are making it hard on the commissioner to back you up. I know your team is bad - I sympathize with you. But, you could have won!!
MMIG - you better thank your lucky stars that something was preoccupying Sagging TD's.
The J-Bones (3-5) v Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (5-3)
Does anybody remember my anecdote about how someone had to drive to my house in order to get me to push a trade through before week 1? Does anybody remember the players swapped in that trade?
J-Bones receive James Conner
Col. Erran Morad receive Jimmy Graham
While Jimmy Graham is one of the most enjoyable names to yell when something good happens, he is the 12th best tight end, averaging 10.1 points a week. James Conner just happens to be the 4th best running back and is averaging 25.6 points a week. Sounds like this might a candidate for "Swindle of the Year."
The running back department is the saving grace of The J-Bones. Conner, Smallwood, and Mack all make up and well rounded group that has the superstar potential balanced with steady play. And to think, the only player drafted by The J-Bones of those three was Marlon Mack - drafted in the 8th round. Talk about working the trading block and waiver wire!
Mr. Rodgers, I think we are all thinking the same thing - what happened Njoku and Hilton? Other than that, a pretty good performance for everyone else. IF they would have reached their projections - this matchup would have gone the other way and allowed for more trash talking from the great one. Unfortunately, it did not.
Prible is my B*tch (4-4) v UrBlogIsWeak SucItAtkins (3-5)
PIMB is one of the teams that I would not want to meet in the playoffs. They just scored 140 points with -4 points from their defense and arguably their top player on the bye. The superstar power on this roster is unbelievable - when at full strength - Julio, OBJ, Peterson, Watson (all guys could score in the high 20's in any given week). If Dalvin Cook ever comes back, Murray's production will take a big hit - but I still would not want to face this team in the playoffs.
UrBlogIsWeak.... what's it like being Grau's b*tch?
Team Dez Nuts (2-6) v Hoosier Daddy (5-3)
Hoosier Daddy is another team that I would want to stay away from - very far away from. Gurley is ridiculously good. Evans is going to get better if the Buccs do what is right and stay with FitzMagic. Duke should begin to get more reps with the changing of the guard in Cleveland and no Hyde in the backfield. Not to mention, Wilson was the number two player in all of Fantasy Football last year. Yeah, not a team I want to face.
Dez Nuts, I don't know what to tell you. Your team roster looks good. Kelce, Luck, and Smith-Schuster are all great players (and could finish as All-Pros). Lockett is a sneaky player and Miller is looking better each week. I don't know what to tell you, I just don't.
The Trashmen (4-4) v I AM STUPID (4-4)
This was a needed win for STUPID, and one that could have really helped Trashmen solidify their ranking in the league. Diggs had a great game and Goff looked fantastic. Drake is finally waking up and if he follows last year's trend he could be dangerous in the back half of the season. The fact that Thomas was outscored by four other players on your roster is good sign of things to come!
There is a lot of consistency on The Trashmen's roster - just no star power. In this league, you need star power in order to win. Adams can supply it every so often - but after that it is just consistency across the board. Which is funny, if you just give a one point bump to every player - The Trashmen win this matchup. So, I guess you are just consistently not good enough?
Look forward to the predictions next week, where my mystery competitor and I continue our battle!
Mwah
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