Not just a good movie.
Christmas Morning for most men.
Draft day is one of the most important days of the Fantasy Football season. Your entire season relies on your ability to solidify your team with a couple bangers and finding those hidden gems in the late rounds. If you want win, you need both.
There can be a lot of thought going into drafting a fantasy team - and there can be no thought. Hell, you could even have
Matthew Berry always talks about you need to understand your league and everyone in it if you want to be successful. Should you take a QB early? Should employ the RB/RB strategy? Should make sure to lock as many tier-one guys (even if it means taking a kicker early)? However you decide to draft, stick to your guns and be ready to defend your position.... especially in a DDA. Which brings me my next topic.....
This season's DDA standings are:
1. Wings of Dickarus
2. The J-Bones
3. Pen15 Wrinkle
4. Backhatch
5. Blows Llamas
6. Hernandez Hitmen
7. Ankle Holster
8. The Trashmen
9. Hoosier Daddy
10. And Your Johnson
11. Massive TD's
12. Pretty Boy
13. Biggus Dickus
14. Ossian Sleepers
Now, let's get to the fun stuff and really breakdown each team! Let me start at the bottom...
14. Ossian Sleepers
There are multiple questions marks when it comes to this team and a lot would need to go right for everything to work-out. Considering their first picks (Elliott and M. Gordon) have not even reported to their respective teams. With K. Allen and A. Jeffery as two of their top three wide receivers - they are just inviting the injury bug to come and stay for more than just a weekend. Not to mention that having your draft completed by the computer also means that L. Miller (torn ACL) and A. Luck (retirement) are also on the squad, but not on the field. Let's just call it what it is, thanks for the donation this year!
13. Biggus Dickus
It is ironic that the bottom two teams in the DDA are also the two new members in the fantasy league, or is it? Biggus started this "draft season" off with a bang, by making the only trade prior to draft - one that sent his 1st round pick to another team for a return for a bevy of picks in the 3-5 round. Did it pay off? Not so much. Smith-Schuster is going to be great and frankly was a fantastic pick-up in the middle of the 2nd round, but after that there multiple issues that will need to be dealt with. Carson and Michel are the starting RB's and I know Biggus is new to the league, but this is a PPR league and neither of those guys have ever played catch... with anyone... ever. Then Biggus decided to go after the locker room guys - just grabbing a bunch of gym rats. In other words, 4 out of his next 5 guys lack the athletic gene that might be required to be successful in the NFL. Once again, thanks for the donation!
12. Pretty Boy is my B*tch
Ladies and Gentlemen, our returning champ has returned and let me tell you - there will be no back-to-back. After grabbing T. Hill and J. Jones in the early rounds (which is great), there is quite a few risky plays that will be filling out the lineup. J. White and T. Cohen are looking up from behind on the depth chart - yet PIMB is going to be needing them to get more touches to keep up. Evan Engram could have a big year, but how big of year is he going to have with Danielle Jones throwing him the ball? Newton is going to need to have a huge year, and I mean huge year for this team to compete. If you need help hiring some movers to help get that trophy out of your room, let me know - I got a guy.
11. Massive TD's
Honestly, the last time TD's was this low in the DDA they came out and exploded in the first week. After that? Absolute shit. Things aren't looking much better this year. Hopkins is going to need to score 60 points each week for this team to have a chance at sniffing a victory. A. Jones and D. Williams both play on great offensive teams... that love to throw the ball as much as possible. Prescott plays quarterback for a team that will forever be run-first. I am actually amazed that you were able to snag players on great offensive teams - too bad they were just not right players.
10. And Your Johnson
There are multiple strategies to employ when drafting, but one strategy you shouldn't employ is reaching. Kelce in the first round, Mahomes in the third round, and a kicker in the eleventh round. I am just not sure your arm is long enough for all the reaching taking place. Kelce is great, but in the first round? Mahomes is great, but in the third round? And... HOLY EFF, WHY DID A RUN OF KICKERS TAKE PLACE IN THE ELEVENTH ROUND?!? I don't want to say you are bad at drafting (clearly not the worst), but you are definitely a better coach than you are manager.
9. Hoosier Daddy
"That is crazy"
"What is crazy?"
"That Hoosier Daddy went from being a nomination for the worst team and made it to single digits."
That my friend, is an exact conversation that took place forty minutes after the draft. D. Adams, OBJ, and Chubb should all be great. After that? Relying on a rookie running back, a 2nd option WR in a run-first offense, and a QB that required a different QB to be drafted right after. After that, Hoosier Daddy is really hoping someone gets hurt. The back-up running backs: L. Murray, D. Singletary, A. Mattison, I. Smith. Is it going to be weird watching NFL games with all of your players on the bench?
8. The Trashmen
You had better thank your lucky stars that you were able to nab Run CMC. Without him, this team is utter trash, see what I did there? Ertz has the potential to be great, but if I was a betting man (and I am) I would say he sees the field less 70 percent of the time. Let's not even get started on the wide receivers, DJ Moore, S. Watkins, Valdes-Scantling, D. Moncrief, M. Sanu. Your best receiver might be Sanu - and you picked him last! I don't envy your job, each week you have to look at your shitty team and try and decide which trash player to go with!
7. Ankle Holster
It is endearing when one team tries to emulate another - but it just looks sad when they don't do it as well. J. Mixon, D. Cook, M. Mack are all decent options but to try and convince a room that all three are going to outplay J. Conner - that is asinine. Honestly, every time I look at your team that is all I can see - what a silly bet! Anyways, if M. Gordon really does sit-out the entire year Ekeler becomes a hell of a steal in round six. Mack is going to struggle without Luck to keep defenses honest and D. Cook has a history of being injured. Let's just hope between the four of them you can find a couple players, because they are going to need to drag the sad sack of Goff/Woods combo all season long!
6. Hernandez Hitmen
If you were to go back downstairs and look at the draft board, a few picks might stick out to you. The one that sticks out to me? Kyler Murray drafted as the 7th QB. Last year, the same owner took Mahomes (a rookie QB) and it paid off in a big way. However, you can't convince me that Fitzgerald and company match-up in anyway to Kelce/Hill/Hunt. The next pick that might stand out? Derrick Henry in the 3rd round of a PPR league. Henry is running back notorious for having bricks for hands. Tennessee lost one of the best offensive lineman in the league for the first part of the season. This could be a huge blow to the run game. Thomas and Gurley are going to need to score some major points this season - and they could, top 6 ain't bad?
5. Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas
Remember, that crazy bet about three running backs outscoring J. Conner? Llamas is really banking on Conner doing what he needs to do to outperform those three. He should outperform them and with M. Evans holding down the fort on the wide receiver front - this team has two studs with a top tier quarterback in D. Watson. What would keep them out the top four? Mark Ingram, Kenny G. (the sax player), and Derrius Guice. There is going to be some depending on these players - and these are not necessarily the players I want to be leaning on.
4. Backhatch
Will Le'veon Bell be the same? Hell no. Would Matthew Berry draft him in the top five? Hell no. Does that make this a bad team? Hell no. With Bell, Fournette, and P. Lindsay as the three running backs on the squad - there is plenty of options. Stefon Diggs is going to have another top 20 WR year and should be a consistent play. However, Backhatch will be hoping that G. Tate, AJ Green, and M. Jones can step up and fill the role of WR 2. More than likely, one of them will be serviceable on any given week - but will Backhatch be smart enough to make the right decision? The Backhatch is always the right decision.
3. Pen15 Wrinkle
First, thank you.
Take a moment and give yourself a pat on your back for being social and actually coming out to the draft party. Now, if you could spread the word that it is actually fun - maybe, just maybe, we could get 100% attendance next year. Unfortunately, just because you show up to the draft doesn't mean you make all great decisions. Barkley is great - and an obvious no brainer. There some definite hope that A. Cooper can continue the onslaught he put on teams after being traded last season. Kittle is great tight end and definitely not a miss. M. Williams is a definite question mark, but you drafted a defense and kicker in rounds 10 and 11. You are aware that most successful teams stream those positions based on matchups correct? But hey, if we have to knock the defense and kicker - you must be doing something right, welcome to the top three!
2. The J-Bones
Kamara as the number one pick is fantastic. Adam Thielen as your number one receiver is fantastic. Brandin Cooks as your number two receiver is decent. Josh Gordon in the fourth round.... wait what? Josh Goron in the 4th round? WTF?!?! Littering and... littering and.... littering and... Rodgers is a great quarterback. SERIOUSLY, WHO STARTS A RUN ON KICKERS IN THE ELEVENTH ROUND?? I get it, you are a tier guy and you had to get that top tier kicker - but wow. Hey, I am not judging (actually I am) - after all you did make it to the top two.
Smoking the reefer.
1. Wings of Dickarus
Is this a surprise? Obviously not. Will you all hate it and disagree? Obviously. How can you argue against the law firm of Johnson and Johnson at running back? Both rb's are number one guys who love catching the football - this is a PPR league, right? Josh Jacobs was the most efficient running back in college and now is with an offense that brought a key piece to keeping defense honest and he should see plenty of touches. Last year, I stole JuJu and he turned out to be fantastic. This year it is going to be C. Godwin. If Winston loves doing one thing, it is f*cking her right in the p*ssy. When he is done doing that, he will slang that rock all over the field and Godwin will be a recipient of many throws. Not to mention the fact, that the rumor mill has Drake on the move and creating space for K. Ballage in the Miami backfield. This roster is so good, I actually just finished rosterbating... twice.
Well gents, feel free to voice your comments - I will listen and hear out every single one of them. Oh wait, no I won't.
Bless
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