Week 12 Results

Well, it looks like things have started to clear-up.... orrrrrr have they?? Hoosier Daddy is making a late season run for the top spot and doing so by scoring points in bunches. There is rumblings that Hoosier Daddy has often found himself near the top of the league in scoring, but has yet to ever actually win the regular season. There are some that would argue that winning the regular season is almost just as important in fantasy football.

On the flip side of the race, the cluster at 5-6 began to separate a little we are beginning to make sense of where we are at in the race. Let's check-in on the playoff push...

1) Gruden's Emails (100%): They will hold onto the top spot until they take a loss... in which case HHM or Hoosier could take over based on the points tie-breaker.

2) Hernandez Hit Men (100%): They are just waiting for the slip-up from Gruden... maybe leak an email or two and get him out of the way?!?

3) Hoosier Daddy (100%): The bottom end of the top 3 that have separated themselves from the rest of the pack.

4) Country Roads (100%): Even though they are sitting in 4th on the rankings... they are still holding on the 2-seed because they are the leader of the Gonorrhea division.

5) The Fortune Cockies (90%): Technically they are holding on the 8-seed, but they have the easiest remaining schedule of the 6-6 teams and could get all the way to 8-6.

6) Bluffton Backup Backups (86%): You could make the argument that they are 5th - which would give Chlamydia 4 of the top 5 spots... pretty lopsided divisions.

7) Church Vans (85%): They finish the year with Teardrop TDs and Hernandez Hit Men - some may argue one of the hardest closing stretches.

8) The J-Bones (80%): Of the teams that are 6-6, they have the hardest remaining matchups (BBB, Gruden's).

9) ARBL (50%): Not technically out of it and could easily make a run at squeaking in - but is going to need some help.

10) Teardrop TDs (40%): It was a big loss this week to TFC... but now they welcome back Lamb and Jackson and Chubb will have better weeks.

11) PEN15 Wrinkle (15%): Technically not out of it, but they will need help from other teams and they will need to score a TON of points to catchup for tie-breakers.

12) Dixie Normous (0%): Spoiler Alert: Gruden's Emails, Teardrop TDs

13) Belt Fairy (0%): Spoiler Alert: PEN15 Wrinkle, Hoosier Daddy

14) Ankle Holster (0%): Spoiler Alert: The Fortune Cockies, Country Roads

Matchup of the Week

Gruden's Emails* (10-2) v Country Roads** (7-5)

Wow.... is Gruden's Emails team really this good? Are we all just pawns in his world? Orrrrr did they just luck out this week? Country Roads needed 17 points between McLaurin and Sly on MNF... Sly got hurt on a blocked extra point and didn't return to the game and McLaurin had a so-so night. Sure Fournette had a huge week and put Country Roads in that position, but what happened to Hurts??? On the flip side, Mixon is playing like he is an elite RB and to be honest.... he really is. This is what happens when he doesn't get hurt - when healthy Mixon is a guy that can take over games. Gruden keeps winning and stays in the top spot.

Prediction: Country Roads... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Country Roads... WRONG!!

The Fortune Cockies (6-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-7)

It was ugly, on both ends - but eventually TFC was able to pull out the victory. It took Jackson and Chubb to combine for 15 and a hurt Lamb - but TFC barely skates by. You know the match up did not go well when the highest scoring player between both teams doesn't break 20 and only 3 players scored more than 15 points. Neither team looks overly dominate it is going to take a "Mr. Cooler" type run for either team to make some noise in the playoff push or even in the play-offs.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Teardrop TDs... WRONG!!

Church Vans (6-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-6)

This is a huge win for Church Vans and a big loss for BBB. BBB was coming off a tremendous 3-week stretch of utter dominance, and yet this week everything seem to fall apart. With Swift getting hurt early on in his game - there was not much that could be done. It also did not help that Goedert and Godwin both struggled to get anything going. On the flip side, this was a big win for Vans - they now move to the upper half of the cluster. Waddle had a big time game and everyone else was mediocre - but no one was atrocious. Vans would have finished in the top half of the league this week in points and is now going to try and keep the momentum going into the final two weeks.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Dixie Normous (4-8) v Hoosier Daddy** (9-3)

Not only did Hoosier Daddy deliver the final nail in the coffin for Dixie Normous (eliminated) - they did so by winning the belt. At this point, if Hilliard continues to be the number one running back in Tennessee - this team has to be the odds on favorite to hoist "The Ron" at the end of the playoffs. On the flip side, we say good-bye to Dixie Normous and the number running back in the league Jonathan Taylor. Props to Taylor for keeping Dixie alive as long as he could - but it was not to be. They now have a chance to play spoiler with matchups Gruden's Emails (fighting for top seed) and Teardrop TDs (fighting for playoff spot).

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-7)

Although it is not completely over for Wrinkle - it is not looking good at all. The best they can do is 7-7 and they are losing pretty much every single tie-breaker because of their points scored. This was a needed win for either team and The J-Bones were able to pull it off. The future does not look promising for The J-Bones as CMC was seen leaving the stadium in a boot - but the bye week does help his recovery time. The J-Bones are sitting on the cluster, but will they be able to muster enough to make the playoffs in CMC misses extensive time?

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-7) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

I don't think we have ever had a 3-time belt winner miss the playoffs - but it is looking more and more like that may happen. Without Mahomes and Hill this week, there was little to no shot for ARBL - and this is a big loss. Ankle Holster is already eliminated, but they will be playing spoiler and they are did their job this week - they will have another opportunity next week against The Fortune Cockies. They will have do so without the Green Bay Packers, which accounted for 75 points this week... but the backups are ready to go and it will not take much to beat a team that has only broken 100 points once in the past 5 weeks.

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Belt Fairy* (3-9) v Hernandez Hit Men* (9-3)

That has been the story for Belt Fairy all season long... so close, yet so far away. All that was needed was DK vs Lockett and the upset was going happen. Yet, as it has been all season long - DK looked forgotten in the offense and almost an afterthought. The upset wasn't meant to be and the only that Belt Fairy is playing for now is trying to finish with a better record than his brother. On the flip side, HHM is going to make the playoffs - he is competing for the regular season title and the 1 seed - can he finish out the year and build momentum going into the playoffs?

Prediction: Belt Fairy... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Season: 46-38

Mystery Guest: 39-45

Bless

Commish

Week 12 Predictions

We are down to 3 weeks left and somehow, someway things have gotten tighter in the middle. There are teams that are obviously in (Gruden/HHM/Hoosier/Country) and a team that should get in (BBB). After that, there are six teams that sit at 5-6.... SIX TEAMS!! There is nearly half of our league sitting at 5-6... which means that pretty much every matchup from here on basically has someone's playoff hopes hanging in the balance. It also means that gigantic cluster f*ck that is the playoff race will not be solved until the final week. Good thing? It certainly makes it more fun.

Dear 8 Teams not at 5-6,

We are all sorry for our inability to sort things out and figure out who deserves to get in the playoffs and who doesn't. We understand this puts a strain in the next 3 weeks - we will do our best to get it figured out as quickly as possible. Our inability is not due to lack of effort; rather, some injuries, bye-weeks, terrible trades, unfortunate drafting, and overall ineptness in the fantasy world. We thank you for your patience.

Sincerely,

One of the 5-6 Teams

Matchup of the Week

Gruden's Emails* (9-2) v Country Roads** (7-4)

Now this is a matchup! We have the two division leaders battling it out. In one corner, wearing the blue trunks is Chlamydia. She stands microscopically tiny and is a dastardly demon to the primary desire of most males and the only tool women can operate correctly. In the other corner, wearing the red trunks is Gonorrhea. She has a slight reach advantage and is looking to take over the belt as the new champion of contraception. This only ends one way (it ain't pleasant for anyone).

In all actuality, I just trust Country Roads lineup far more than I do Emails. Newton showcased he score points, but that was only one game. On top of that Arnold and Jacobs are big areas of concern in a high level matchup.

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Country Roads

The Fortune Cockies (5-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-6)

This might help clear up some of the confusion at 5-6 and this pivotal matchup will really help either team's case. TFC is now officially the coldest team in the league having lost 5 straight matchups (started 5-1). However, Teardrop has to deal with the possibility of no Lamb (concussion), Jackson is coming off of a sickness, and Collins is the RB2. The odds are stacked against TDs - but if there is a team that can find a way to lose it would be TFC. The matchup is slanted towards TFC.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: Teardrop TDs

Church Vans (5-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-5)

There are a few teams that I would not to play right now... Bluffton Backup Backups is the team at the top of that list. BBB was a decent game from their top 5 QB away from being the first ever 3-peat belt winner. Instead, they had to settle for a loss as they faced the team that won the belt. This week there are plenty of good matchups for BBB - they will look take the belt back. If Vans wants to win this week, it is going to take a huuuuge performance. As it stands, Davey Johnson and J. Williams just aren't going to get the job done. Look for BBB to win this week and really depress the Vans' chances of the playoffs.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

Dixie Normous (4-7) v Hoosier Daddy* (8-3)

Dixie's playoff chances are slim to none and after this week they will slammed shut. Hoosier has a lot of comfy matchups that favor their players: Allen/Diggs against New Orleans, Ekeler against Denver, and Gibson against Seattle. On the flip side, Taylor has to face the Tampa Bay defense that is known to greatly ruin a running back's day. Dixie is pretty much a one-horse show and ain't nobody betting on that pony this week.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

The J-Bones (5-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-6)

This has the top of the 5-6 cluster against the bottom of the 5-6 cluster. Wouldn't it be just fascinating if PEN15 was able to pull this out? Unfortunately, things are not looking good for Wrinkle. Their starting lineup is littered with opposing defenses that are known for shutting down players. Philly has a top-5 run defense, Pittsburgh is going to welcome back Fitzpatrick and Watt, and Indianapolis just shut down Josh Allen and the boys. This is going to be a much needed win for The J-Bones and they will be looking to really force some other team's hands when it comes to trying to get a win.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-6) v Ankle Holster* (2-9)

If there ever was a week for Holster to get a win (not that it matters now), it would be this week. ARBL have Mahomes and Hill on the bye and they were really hoping to have more than 5 wins by the time this week rolled around. This matchup is going to be a slugfest and I think the winner is going to have less 100 points. Soooooo, if you have Rodgers and Adams in a matchup that could stay less than 100 points - I am taking your side.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Belt Fairy* (3-8) v Hernandez Hit Men* (8-3)

Is there any chance that something crazy happens and we see a major upset? Not likely. But someone wise once told me, "Legends are made, not born." Belt Fairy is about to make his own legend. THE UPSET IS GOING TO HAPPEN!! Why? No f*cking clue. Maybe, Taylor goes off against the Jets? Maybe, Harris has a big game. Maybe, Metcalf actually plays up to the level he should have been. Somehow, someway - this is going to happen!

Prediction: Belt Fairy

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Teardrop TDs, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Bless

Commish

Week 11 Results

Wowza.... there were some points scored this week. Some of these players had a day! Just look at what was produced this week...

A) Jonathan Taylor - 53.4 points.... 185 yards rushing and 4 total touchdowns

B) Austin Ekeler - 41.5 points.... 4 total touchdowns and 115 total yards

C) Justin Jefferson - 37.2 points.... 8 catches, 2 touchdowns and over 170 total yards

D) Aaron Rodgers - 33.5 points... 385 yards and 4 touchdowns

E) Davante Adams - 30.5 points... 7 catches, 2 touchdowns and 115 yards

F) New England Defense - 26 points... 1 touchdown, 4 interceptions, 4 sacks, shut-out

Just absolutely insane, not too mention that 2 of these were on the same team! Too bad it was the wrong team...

Playoff Projections

1. Gruden's Emails: 100% - They are really just trying to lock-up the top spot.

2. Hernandez Hit Men: 100% - Fighting for the top spot.

3. Hoosier Daddy: 100% - Fighting for the top spot - but losing in points to HHM if they end-up in a tie.

4. Country Roads: 100% - A win this week all but locks up the playoffs and the 2nd seed by winning their division.

5. Backup Backups: 90% - Destiny is their hands and if they keep scoring like they have been, they will find a way to the promise land.

6. The J-Bones: 60% - Has there ever been a team owner that hates his team so much and yet is still in the midst of the playoff contention.

7. ARBL: 50% - If they make the playoffs it will be because of big time wins finishing the season with (Ankle Holster), Hoosier Daddy and Backup Backups.

8. The Fortune Cockies: 58% - Finishing the season with (Teardrops), Ankle Holster and PEN15 helps the chances tremendously.

9. Church Vans: 45% - A win this week (BBB) would set-up Church for a good ending of the season with matchups against Teardrops and HHM.

10. Teardrop TDs: 43% - Arguably the best finishing stretch in terms of match-ups... TFC, Vans, Dixie.

11. PEN15 Wrinkle: 28% - This team needs help in order to make the playoffs, needs the right teams to lose.

12. Dixie Normous: 30% - Honestly, look out... I see an interesting push from Dixie coming. 

13. Belt Fairy: 13% - All but out it, but could ruin some people's season.

14. Ankle Holster: 0% - Completely out of the running, but can really ruin some team's chances

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-5) v Country Roads** (7-4)

Country Roads locked a huuuge win, pushing them into the race for the top spot. Hurts is a top tier QB and Jefferson had an amazing week. This team is good, like good, good. The running back issue is going to be fixed when Kamara comes back. On the flip side, BBB has a stellar duo with Cook and Swift. This MotW lived up to the hype and both teams finished in the top 5 scoring and we had the belt winner come out of the MotW. Big time win for the belt for Country Roads.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Gruden's Emails* (9-2) v The Fortune Cockies (5-6)

This matchup meant a lot for both teams and Gruden's Emails was able to grab sole possession 1st place in the league. If you didn't know Cam Newton is back and this week he puts up some large numbers, finishing at QB4 this week. On the flip side, Jones struggled against a tough Buccaneers defense and the MNF push was never to be. Emails is already in the playoffs and will be fighting for a seeding, while TFC is in the middle of the pack struggling to finally clinch their spot in the promise land. 

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails... RIGHT!!

Teardrop's TDs (5-6) v Belt Fairy* (3-8)

Teardrops was able to lock-up a huuuuge win, even with Lamb going out with a concussion and a terrible game from Mayfield. Chubb was able to carry the load and give the Titties just what they needed - a win to throw in the middle of the playoff hunt. Teardrops has now won 3 of their last 4 and are looking to really shock the world and make the playoffs after going 0-4 to start the season. On the flip side, Belt Fairy has all but closed the door on this season. With just 3 weeks remaining - they need to win all three and have some nearly impossible help. To be honest, I am not even sure if it is possible - but I will never count anyone out, unless they are actually out.

Prediction: Belt Fairy.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy.... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy* (8-3) v Church Vans (5-6)

The trade for David Johnson didn't really matter when Ekeler decided to have a monstrosity of a game. Ekeler had 4 total touchdowns and over 100 total yards. Hoosier Daddy is competing for the top spot in the league and this win definitely helped his case. On the flip side, Church Vans now sits in the middle of the pack and the playoff push gets a little bit tighter. Will the David Johnson trade be the difference for the Vans? Doubtful.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (5-6) v Dixie Normous (4-7)

Does Dixie still have a fighting chance????? Anything could happen when you have Jonathan Taylor holding it down for you - HOLY SHIT!!! On top of the Taylor explosion Wrinkle had Buffalo's defense going - a double whammy. Think about this, Dixie scored over 130 points and had more than half of his starting lineup fail to reach double digits. On the flip side, Wrinkle finds themselves in the thick of the playoff hunt and is going to need to find a way to score more points in the future if they want to find a way to the promise land.

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!

Mystery Guet: Dixie Normous... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (2-9) v The J-Bones (5-6)

What we have here is a team that has been taken out to the pasture and put to rest. Maybe this is an eskimo community where we put old grandpa on an iceberg and let him float away... never to be seen again. Maybe this is a Viking community and we put their body on a wooden ship and shoot flaming arrows at it. Maybe this is a South African tribe where we eat the body and use the bones as weapons (definitely not this one). Either way, Ankle Holster is gone and now gets to play to role of spoiler and it could be deadly. He to play ARBL (5-6), The Fortune Cockies (5-6), and Country Roads (7-4)... a lot could happen solely based on Ankle Holster.

Oh yeah, good job The J-Bones

Prediction: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Hernandez Hit Men* (8-3) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-6)

What do you do when a team that features a Mahomes/Hill stack and Landry and Smith, but yet somehow can't even break 70 points for the week? You just hope this team doesn't make the playoffs - because you know an explosion of points is coming soon. ARBL is like playing the game perfection - you know the timer is going to go off and the board is going pop-up... you just don't know exactly when it is going to happen. On the flip side, HHM continues to win - but he can thank his lucky stars here - he was clearly in the bottom half of the league this week.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Season: 42-35

Mystery Guest: 35-42

Bless

Commish

Week 11 Predictions

We are coming down the stretch of the season - isn't that crazy? There are 4 more weeks left for teams to try and make a move. There are going to be some crucial matchups in the future that will determine whether or not you get the invite to that after party. We all get to dance, everyone can try some of the punch - hell, some may even try and spike it.... but only a select few get that after party invite.

We already have one team that has been eliminated (Ankle Holster) will there be more this week or will the grindfest in the middle of floor get a little more congested. See what I did there? Stay with the whole dance theme. By the way, if you don't know what they grindfest is in the middle of the dance floor - let me breakdown for you...

At every dance there is an area where you need an oxygen mask to breathe because it is so compact with bodies that not even the smallest of oxygen molecules can exist. Guys are shoving their dicks behind any ass they can see - it don't even matter if it is another man's ass. Chick are getting impregananted, midgits are getting stomped out, and everyone is having a grand 'ole time. All the while, the teachers "monitoring" the dance all know what is happening - but nobody actually wants to deal the mess of breaking it up. The pit can suck you up and still your soul, you step-in a boy and you leave a man. Women can live up their dream of "hoeing" it up and nobody says anything. Dang, brings back memories. 

Anyways, I digress - on to the matchups...

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-4) v Country Roads* (6-4)

Man, do we have a gift of a MotW this time around. We have Mr. Back2Back Belt going up against one of the top teams in the league. Country Roads has the 2nd highest points scored total this season and now they have to go against the hottest team in the league. There is only one danger of featuring a matchup like this... will it live up to the hype? Is it even possible to live up to the hype? This matchup could go either way, but I like BBB to take this one because of a few matchups.... Prescott vs Chiefs..... Swift vs Cleveland..... Cook vs Packers. Just think about this, last season in 2 games Cook had 5 touchdowns and over 200 yards rushing. Woof.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

The Fortune Cockies (5-5) v Gruden's Emails* (8-2)

You know what you do when your horse is winning races... you shoot S.O.B. Well, since shooting the TFC roster is not an option - guess you might as well bet on it. This week is about the best chance TFC would have to beat Gruden's Emails... Kupp is on the bye. This leaves Emails struggling to fill a void the size of the Grand Canyon. On top of that, there are a few matchup issues that do not look too promising this week for G.E.... Jacobs vs Cincinnati... Claypool vs LAC.... Newton vs Anybody in the NFL. This would be a huge win for either team, TFC pushing closer to a playoff spot or Gruden's Emails would move closer to locking up the regular season.

**The trade for Mac Jones was made after this was written.... don't care***

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails

Teardrop TD's (4-6) v Belt Fairy* (3-7)

Records be damned... these two teams have scored nearly the exact same amount of points throughout the season. Belt Fairy edges out Teardrops by .48 of a point. Would that be crazy if that trend continued and then somehow one of these teams missed the playoffs by that as a tie-breaker. In order for that to even happen Belt Fairy would need to win (try and get to the same record). The hard part about this matchup is how much it really depends on whether or not Chubb plays. It also doesn't help that Teardrop has a couple bye week positions they need to fill.

Prediction: Belt Fairy

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy

Hoosier Daddy* (7-3) v Church Vans (5-5)

This is a rough week for Church Vans, playing a very good team with pretty much their entire running back department out of commission. It also doesn't help that Church Vans could really use a win this week and stay above .500. On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy is coming off a big win and is looking to compete with the elite teams of this league. There is plenty of consistency across the board in this line-up and this should be an easy win. The only real question: Will the belt stay in the tech department for a 4th straight week?!?

**The trade for David Johnson was made after this was written - don't care**

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

PEN15 Wrinkle (5-5) v Dixie Normous (3-7)

These are usually the two teams that I like try and bash on in the blog - but now they are facing each other. PEN15 has a chance to knock out Dixie from the playoff running with a win this week and further increase their chance of making it. For Dixie it is Jonathan Taylor trying to drag along the weight of the world. There is just no help in this lineup outside of JT. On the flip side, PEN15 looks to be getting stronger at exactly the right time of the season. If Barkley can return and be productive this boasts plenty of big-time players who can score points in bunches.

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle

Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous

Ankle Holster (2-8) v The J-Bones (4-6)

Is it time for the Green Bay Packers to have an offensive explosion? Last year in 2 games against the Minnesota Vikings Rodgers threw for 7 touchdowns and over 700 yards. Look out J-Bones, here comes Aaron Rodgers - unvaccinated and angry. It does help that CMC came back and was the focal point of the offense. The issue is the other matchups that are presented for the lineup - not many are favorable. Look for Ankle Holster to play the role of spoiler and really, really hurt the chances of The J-Bones.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Hernandez Hit Men* (7-3) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-5)

What we have here is the exact matchup of consistency vs boom-or-bust. Hernandez Hit Men has the potential to fill every starting position with a player inside the top 10 position ranking. That is absolutely amazing in a 14-team fantasy league. That is drafting well and losing in the right weeks to be able to pick up players on the waiver wire. On the flip side, ARBL has 3 belt weeks to their name and has a duo that could light any defense up - let alone the Dallas Cowboys defense. Sure, Dallas shut down Atlanta.... but are you really going to argue that Ryan/Pitts/Patterson are better than Mahomes/Hill/Kelce? Look for a big week from the needed duo and another big upset in the fantasy league.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

Bless

Commish

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you, Gruden's Emails, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 10 Results

Wha wha weee wha.... what a bad week for fantasy football scores. Nearly half of the teams this week failed to even break 100 points, and a handful of teams broke 100 points by less than 5. This is what makes fantasy football fun... you just never have any idea about what is going to happen. You could score 130 points or you score 58 points - you just never know. The only thing you can really do is set-up your team for the best success and then complain about how much you should have played the other guy or how stupid it is that your opponent got a last second garbage touchdown. 

Eff the Jets and their garbage time touchdowns - I feel like it happens every week!

The playoff picture is getting brighter for some teams and little dimmer for others....

Playoff Picture

1) Gruden's Emails (96%): In all reality, they are fighting for seeding and whether or not they can be regular season champs.

2) Hernandez Hit Men (93%): See "Gruden's Emails"

3) Hoosier Daddy (90%): It would be shocking if there was a post-season without these top 3 teams, but if one man can survive seven lightning strikes... anything can happen

4) Country Roads (85%): Big loss this week, but still should be okay - find themselves as the leader of the middle pack

5) Bluffton Back Backups (70%): As a back-to-back belt champion and not sitting at 6-4, it is hard to imagine BBB not making the playoffs

6) Church Vans (69%): 69.....Niiiiiiiicccceeee

7) The Fortune Cockies (58%): TFC finds themselves in the thick of the playoff hunt after Henry went down and they are now on a downward spiral

8/9) Teardrop/ARBL (52%): These teams are both crazy "boom-or-bust" teams it is nearly impossible to find a true ranking for them - flip 'em, flop 'em.... who knows how it will end up!

10) The J-Bones (45%): This is a first team to make the jump in percentages over a team with a better record.... the big win this week helped vault them near the playoff line

11)PEN15 (40%): A team that has multiple times scored an abysmal amount points - fairly certain I could pull names out of hat for a lineup and still perform better than this team some weeks

12) Belt Fairy (35%): A team with so much promise at the beginning of the season, just was never able to put it all together

13) Dixie Normous (12%): Still not the worst team though.... that is a plus

14) Ankle Holster (.03%): To be honest, I am too lazy to even do the math/look at remaining schedule - this team may actually be fully eliminated

Matchup of the Week

Dixie Normous (3-7) v Ankle Holster (2-8)

As a good friend of mine would say.... "Never a doubt." Dixie had a good week with Taylor leading the way and Dallas defense really taking it to Atlanta. On the flip side, Green Bay did not take advantage of their matchup and Rodgers played.... but not exactly the Rodgers we all know and love. It all but puts a bow on the season for Ankle Holster - one more loss and they are off the trading block.

Prediction: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

The Fortune Cockies (5-5) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-4)

There are moments in life when you look back and you think, "Man, that really f*cked me over." The Hopkins trade is a moment like that for TFC. TFC has now dropped 3-straight.... ironically, had they not made the trade - they would have won those three matchups. TFC really needs Hopkins to come back and showcase his skills, if not this downward spiral will continue. On the flip side, BBB is rising quickly through the ranks and making his presence felt. Prescott lead the way for a very consistent team showing - look out top dawgs.... here comes BBB - which now stands for "Back2Back Belt" to join the party!

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-5) v Teardrop TD's (4-6)

This was a big win for ARBL and he can thank Higbee and the 49ers offense. Well, he can really thank the Mahomes/Hill duo as they had a big week, along with D. Smith. On the flip side, Lamb had a huge week and it could have been bigger but Dallas pulled everyone from the game at the end of the 3rd quarter - maybe even sooner. Both of these teams have the ability to beat anyone and lose to anyone. If the studs show up and there can be a little help from the role players... these teams could make a serious run at/in the playoffs.

Prediction: ARBL... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL.... RIGHT!!

Belt Fairy* (3-7) v Gruden's Emails* (8-2)

Well, looks like somebody at the top lucked out. Kupp was the only bright spot in this entire matchup - other than that nobody else broke 18 points. What a pitiful performance.... but all you have to do is beat the person you are matched up with. It is similar to running from a bear - we all do that a lot don't we? You don't have the be the fastest, you just have to be faster than the guy next to you. Way to not be the slowest Gruden's Emails....

Prediction: Belt Fairy... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Belt Fair... WRONG!!

Country Road* (6-4) v Hoosier Daddy* (7-3)

This was a huuuuuge win for Hoosier Daddy - in what is really the MotW. This is similar to playing a game with children, you let them play and give them attention (Dixie/Ankle) - but everyone knows when it is really the matchup. Hoosier came through with the win, no thanks to Hockenson. Luckily, the TE was only outscored by Knox by 2.7 points. In a battle of top 10 TEs (the past 3 weeks), it really failed to live up to the hype. Really, it was Josh Allen's decision to force feed Diggs instead of Knox or Beasley that gave Hoosier Daddy the win.... both teams should be fine in terms of playoff contention though.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Country Roads.... WRONG!!

Church Vans (5-5) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-5)

There are some lineups when you look at them and you think, "What the....? How the....? That can't be...." Then you hit the refresh button.... nope still both Denver Broncos running backs. You know? It still worked. Church Vans is the grateful recipient of that Hopkins trade where they welcomed Pittman/Andrews for Hopkins. The points breakdown since the trade....

Hopkins: 46.4 points

Pittman: 86.4 points

Andrews: 53.3 points (and his bye week)

Now, you tell me who "fleeced" who?!?!?! Oh yeah..... PEN15 is here too.

Prediction: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (4-6) v Hernandez Hit Men* (7-3)

This has to be the biggest upset so far this year. Who would've thunk it? The ironic part about this.... the predictions post called this the Hunger Games. It said that The J-Bones were the kids that were trotted out to get slaughter by the kids who trained for this. Well, what happened in the Hunger Games movie? Looks like The J-Bones found a bow and arrow and they done gone and messed e'erthing up!!

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... WRONG!!

Season: 41-29

Mystery Guest: 31-39

Bless

Commish

Week 10 Predictions

Sometimes in life there is just nothing you can do... you just put forth your best effort and accept it for what it is. Sometimes you are just out matched with talent, knowledge, skill, etc.

A) Anybody running the 100-meter dash in ACAC conference from the years 2014-2018. There is just nothing that could be done when the 2nd fastest person in the county (1st being Bob "Sprained Ankle" Vanderkolk) is running beside you. No matter how hard you tried - you were getting dusted and Eskridge was looking back at you by the 70-meter mark.

B) The year 2006 in the Big Jaws Campus Life Dodgeball tournament. No matter how hard you tried, you were going down when across the court happened to be a future NFL quarterback and a future MLB pitcher (as well as a future Bluffton High School Teacher....pssssshhhh). It was just a matter of being outmatched and outmanned. 

C) Anybody.... and I mean anybody.... playing against me in Connect 4. I check into the Rainman mindset and nobody has a chance. I am shouting out addresses and counting toothpicks on that ground all the while dominating that child's game. I get that 'tism spectrum going and nobody is taking me down.

D) When you have a match-up in fantasy and all your players are either on bye week or injured. Sometimes there is just nothing you can do about it - just throw out what you got and pray to the fantasy gods that something magical will happen.

Matchup of the Week

Dixie Normous (2-7) v Ankle Holster (2-7)

To be fair, there is a different matchup that deserves to be the MotW - but I can not turn down the epic battle of a two cellar dwellers. Essentially, you lose this week - you are eliminated from the playoffs. That makes this matchup even more important.... especially for the trade possibilities - there will be no trading with teams that eliminated from the playoffs. The interesting aspect of this matchup is that it is one that Ankle Holster could actually win. Seattle has been a mess and presents a decent matchup for Green Bay. This matchup is really going to come down to whether or not Rodgers can take the field. There is nothing he loves more than shoving it people's faces - I am predicting he plays.... and plays well.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

The Fortune Cockies (5-4) v Bluffton Backup Backups* (5-4)

If you haven't seen the news yet... Dalvin Cook may find himself in a little hot trouble. Will that affects his play? Moore faces a tough Buffalo defense and I wouldn't bank on 25+ points this week. On the flip side, there is a level uncertainty throughout TFC's starting lineup. A gift fell into their lap with Chubb being ruled out this week and Johnson is in line for a big week. There will need to be a watch on Robinson and whether or not he needs to be removed for Hyde. The stars are aligning for a much needed win, but the issue will be whether or not the previous belt winner will be able to continue their streak - don't count on it without Moore having another large week.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

Aaron Rodger Blows Llamas*** (4-5) v Teardrop TD's (4-5)

Teardrop TD's has a lineup that is filled with studs and duds - the issue is going to be the duds. There is too much inconsistency in this lineup. Jackson/Lamb (even Carter) represent big play ability and big-time weeks... everywhere else is a going to be a struggle. On the flip side, the inconsistency of ARBL has been highly documented. The same rings true for their starting lineup... Mahomes/Hill represent big play ability - however, their "role" players represent slightly better value. This is a crucial matchup as one team will pull to .500 and the other will be sucking hind tit.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

Belt Fairy* (3-6) v Gruden's Emails* (7-2)

Will the name change ring true for this week? This week looks like it might be switched and the belt fairy might just take the belt themselves. If Murray plays the matchup is inviting with Carolina falling apart at the seams. On top of that, Harris gets to go against Detoilet, Metcalf/Moore have matchups that should have a game script in their favor. On the flip side, Kupp continues to be the hottest player in fantasy and with Henry out - he is the shoe-in favorite for MVP. Can the Vegas running back duo bring enough value to compete this week. I think many would be surprised as the output they have had since Gruden has left. However, I don't see it this week - this week I see the Belt Fairy with a chance to take the belt themselves.

Prediction: Belt Fairy

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy

Country Roads* (6-3) v Hoosier Daddy?* (6-3)

Trust me, it was incredibly hard to keep this matchup out of the MotW. Just look at these projections - this could be a preview of the Championship. On both sides there is a consistency that is only matched by one other team (HHM). There is so much value on both sides of this matchup - honestly, it is too hard to pick. Coin flip either way - both lineups have big-time players and terrific role players. Give me Allen/Diggs against NYJ... but honestly, who knows.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy?

Mystery Guest: Country Roads

Church Vans (4-5) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-4)

Both of these teams are the type of teams that don't make much noise... float under the radar - and yet, here they are competing in the middle of the pack for a playoff spot. Church Vans has always had a sore spot with their running backs, but their pass catchers have the potential to have major weeks at any given time. On the flip side, the same rings true for Wrinkle - good pass catchers and struggling running backs. If there was a gun to my head, I would say give me Waddle/Pittman/Kelce/Andrews.

Prediction: Church Vans

Mystery Guest: Church Vans

The J-Bones (3-6) v Hernandez Hit Men* (7-2)

Full disclosure.... as I write this blog I am watching Hunger Games. If you an unfamiliar it is a book/movie that features kids from different districts thrown into an arena where they fight to death. Many times there are kids that built for for the battle and kids that are just waiting to die. This matchup is the Hunger Games. HHM is the kids that were built for this and The J-Bones are just waiting to die. I could breakdown the lineups and discuss the bright spots - but we all have eyes, we can see what is going to happen.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

Bless

Commish

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you, Bluffton Backup Backups - may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 9 Results

Man, there are few things worse than when you watch your opponent remove a MNF player because they have already won and they don't even need to sweat that game. Not unlike, someone dunking the ball in the final seconds in a blowout win. It could be compared to having your bride leave you at the altar and then having your best-man follow her as well. It is similar to taking a funnel-cake shit and feeling the water splash back up all over your cheeks. Nothing in these scenarios feels good... and then the kick in the balls comes. It is usually swift and often times you can predict it solely because it would makes sense to happen to you. One of those classic ironic movie happenings.

Speaking of movie happenings - why don't we begin to set the scene for some of these teams and look at the playoff picture....

Most Likely In                                    Middle Ground                            Need Some Help

Hernandez Hit Men                            Country Roads                             Dixie Normous

Gruden's Emails                                 Hoosier Daddy                             Ankle Holster

                                                           DK Country (Belt Fairy)              The J-Bones

                                                           Teardrop TD's

                                                           The Fortune Cockies

                                                           PEN15 Wrinkle

                                                           ARBL

                                                           BBB

                                                           Church Vans

Be on the lookout for percentages arriving shortly....

Matchup of the Week

Hoosier Daddy? (6-3) v The Fortune Cockies (5-4)

I mean did you read the first paragraph of the post? If not, let me break it down for you... after 4 o'clock games everything was finished and Hoosier Daddy was winning by less than 2 points - instantly they took out their MNF defense and they locked in the win. Would it have mattered? Probably not. It is not like the Chicago offense is going to go out and score tons of points and the Pittsburgh defense was going to finish negative. Big win for Hoosier Daddy which could join the "Most Likely In" category if things shake out well for them next week.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy.... RIGHT!!

Teardrop TD's (4-5) v The J-Bones (3-6)

Talk about a team coming from the grave. Teardrop starting off the season 0-4, since then going 4-1. The vultures were swarming, hoping to pick off the best parts of the team. The manager held fast and trusted the process - look at them now, firmly in the "Middle Ground" category. On the flip side, The J-Bones are struggling mightily and need help otherwise the captain is going down with the ship. CMC needs to return back to his previous self. It also didn't help that the Rams happen to take a big dump on Sunday Night against the Titans.

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Gruden's Emails (7-2) v ARBL (4-5)

Emails has it all trending in the right direction right now. They are sitting atop the league and their players are scoring points in consistently. You would have to go back to week 5 to find the last time that Emails did not outscore their opponent by more than 20 points. On the flip side, ARBL season is going about as well as The Kansas City Chiefs season - looks good on paper, but somewhere there is a disconnect between what looks good on paper and what is happening in real life. Injuries have not helped ARBL, but dang you would think a team anchored by Mahomes and Hill would be on the better side of .500..... not this season.

Prediction: Gruden's Emails.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: ARBL.... WRONG!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (5-4) v Belt Fairy (DK Country) (3-6)

I assuming that the name change is in correlation to the number of times that Belt Fairy has now played the belt winner the most times in the league (3 times). While this is true, they are neck and neck with Church Vans for most points scored against. Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do... who would have thought that Elijah Moore would have had that great of a week? BBB thought that. BBB is sick and tired of everyone questioning his lineup choices and whether or not he should switch out players injured or on their bye week. To hell with all that nonsense.... he who holds the belt shall do as he pleases!!

Prediction: DK Country... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: DK Country... WRONG!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (5-4) v Country Roads (6-3)

Looks like Kittle finally remembered how to score some fantasy points this week. He decided he was done resting on his laurels - playing it off as some kind of "injury." It was good to see him back, the 49ers really needed him in their close (hahahahahaha) battle this week. Don't get me wrong, the Colts gave up 30 points to the Jets... but is it as bad as losing to the Murray-less/Hopkins-less Cardinals? Isn't Colt McCoy from Back to the Future 3? Yikes. On the flip side, Country Roads is good.

Prediction: Country Roads... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Country Roads... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (2-7) v Church Vans (4-5)

Let's just call it what is... Ankle Holster has tossed in the towel and on top of that the non-commitment to the entire squad being Green Bay Packers - embarrassing. Just think, if they would have played Dillon they would won..... and you could have walked around a little happier that you decided to play the Packers players. On the flip side, Church Vans didn't have the best of weeks - but they still would have beaten 4 other teams. The running back department remains an issue - but Gordon looked good... on the bench.

Prediction: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Hernandez Hit Men (7-2) v Dixie Normous (2-7)

You gotta feel for a guy like Jonathan Taylor. I am sure he perused fantasy football squads, just see where he is and when he comes across our league (which is his favorite league) he can not be happy. Taylor may finish inside the top 5 for fantasy running backs this year and yet, he probably won't get to see the playoffs. Not unlike the Colts. HHM is good - they are the odds on favorite to win the league. It is going to take something shocking in the playoffs for them to lose (which usually does happen).

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Season: 38-25

Mystery Guest: 28-35                              

With Love,

Commish