This is going to be a loaded post... final week results/post-season bracket predictions. Normally, this would be the beginning of a rant about how the Gluten Douches got screwed and clearly deserve to be in the playoffs.

But I won't.

I could rattle off stats about how the RB room for Gluten is arguably the top RB department in the fantasy league. Anybody who would disagree can take it up with Mr. Ekeler/Mr. Robinson/Mr. Williams and then they can run it up to the commissioner of the league.... wait, he just got back from lunch and his message is.... F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I could rattle off stats about how Evan Engram has quietly become a top tier TE - finishing as a top 3 TE. Anybody who would disagree can look at the league leaders and then can F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I could rattle off about how my receiving core is middle of the pack in terms of season averages - which is pretty mother truckin' good for the weak part of the lineup. Yeah, you heard me - Drake London and Davante Adams are the weak part of the lineup. Can't forget.... F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I also won't even mention the fact that the New York Jets defense never was rostered on another team - and they were the 4th ranked defense in the league. Doesn't sound that impressive? Well, you try being the 4th ranked defense in a division when you play the Dolphins and Bills twice and a schedule that included Kansas City/Philly/Dallas. These boiz can ball. F*CK. OFF.

I could even talk about how the Gluten Douches finished 6 in Points Scored (more than 3 playoff teams) - how many teams make the playoffs? Oh yes... F*CK. OFf.

But I won't. 

Instead, I will take this time to congratulate all the teams that did make it and wish them all good luck in chasing the victory - purely a moral victory.... the money was long gone the moment I put it all black at the roulette table one night in Vegas.

Actually, the payouts go as follows....

Champion - Ron Jeremy Trophy/Belt/$160 cash

Runner-up - $100 cash

1st seed after regular season - $20 cash (Njigbas)

Good luck you dirty ole dicks.

MotW

Ankle Holster (6-8) v The J-Bones (6-8)

This was a massive win for Ankle Holster... unfortunately, a few other matchups needed to fall a specific way - which they did not and AH will fall short. The J-Bones will also miss the playoffs - but if there was a team that had any type of excuses... it would be these guys. Just think how different this team would look if Mike Williams and Nick Chubb were not out for the season. This team drastically changes - unfortunately they did get hurt and The J-Bones now become apart of the losers bracket.

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Gluten Douches (4-10) v Hoosier Daddy (5-9)

Well... it didn't mean much, but it is something to carry on into next season. Hoosier Daddy was the first team to lose to Gluten and they will be the last team to lose to Gluten. I wish I could say it was a good year for both squads - but I can't even say it to one squad. Both these managers will look to recover and come back smarter than ever.

Prediction: Gluten Douches... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Gluten Douches... RIGHT!!

East West TD's (9-5) v I Hate Chad G (6-8)

Talk about a really down week for the top teams to finish up the regular season, only one team with the better record entering the week walked out unscathed. This win ended up not being enough for Team Hatred - but they did stop Titties from getting the top seed - if that is any consolation. Moving forward, the Titties need to hope that this is a one time fluke and that it won't carry on into the finals.

Prediction: East West TDs... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: East West TDs... WRONG!!

I Hate Chad G too (7-7) v Njigbas in Paris (9-5)

There is not much to say here - Hate Too gets a big win and sneaks into the playoffs. For their reward... they are playing against Njigbas... again. The question now becomes - can they beat them two weeks in a row? Njigbas is now free-rolling into the playoffs as they locked up the top seed - thanks to all other pursuers losing. 

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

I Miss Tom Brady (8-6) v No Time for Love (8-6)

A much bigger win for TB12 than a loss for No Time for Love... this allowed for them to sit comfortably in the playoff picture. On top of that, they go into the playoffs carrying the belt. Both of these teams are looking to make some noise in the playoffs - but it truly will depend on the matchups.

Prediction: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Ertz when Eifert (9-5) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-7)

And there it is.... I am always surprised every year about some teams and them making the playoffs. Ertz is one of those teams - but it only takes having a few studs and you are golden. Lamar and Elliott had a big week and Elliott looks to be the workhorse going forward - which only makes this team that much more dangerous. Ertz might become a dark horse for the team to beat in the playoffs.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5) v Handy Rudgins (6-8)

Handy did their job... got the win, unfortunately they will be one win short of making the playoffs. Much like one other team, they find themselves in the spot of scoring in the top 8 teams - but not having the record to show for it. On the flip side, Wrinkle loses and now drops all the way down to the 4th seed - which doesn't sound that bad... but they are now on the top seed's side of the bracket. This might be the lost that sets them up for eventual failure.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 49-49

Mystery Guest: 50-48

GD's top drafted RB: B. Robinson (189 pts)

AH's top drafted RB: B. Hall (188 pts)

Alright, now to the predictions.... it is time for the bracket challenge. The mystery guest and I will prediction the bracket for the playoffs - each spot correct is one point... it is make of break time.

The Fantasy Guru's Selections

Round One

I am not gonna lie - the hardest game to pick was probably the 1v8 game. Hatred Too has beaten the Njigbas like it was the 1800's.... twice. But I gotta trust the process and believe in the top seed. Then after that PEN15 just has good matchups for the week and let's not lie, it would be ironic if they won after the bitching from the draft. TB12 has a serious issue in their lineup at RB's - but their pass catchers have good matchups this week. Then the final matchup - Titties has not looked as dominant as they once were and the total reliance on a couple players comes into play. They could win every matchup by 25 points or they could lose the first one by 40 points.

Round Two

PEN15 is my darkhorse for these playoffs and I will be riding that dick to the finals. You heard it hear first, The Guru is a PEN15 Rider. On the bottom side of the bracket - ARBL has some nice, comfy matchups this week. They need to make it to this week and then they have good matchups and TB12 has rough matchups - but can both teams pull off the upsets to get here?

Championship

You are either riding the PEN15 of your dying by the PEN15. To be honest, I am not sure which one is worse - I am not sure I would want to live the rest of my days knowing I am a PEN15 rider... I may want to have it all just end right there... ESPN on the tv.

Mystery Guest's Selections

His exact text....

"Completed. F*ck research."

With Love

Commish

Final Regular Season Predictions

I can tell you, this has been a fantastic year of fantasy football - this is coming from the guy with the worst team in the league. You really hate to see it all come to an end, but like all good things - they die.

A few teams are little more concerned with this week than others. For some it means nothing, Gluten Douches... actually they are the only ones still technically eliminated from playoff contention. Actually, you know what f*ck this fantasy football season. It hasn't been good at all - this b*tch should just die. How the hell is the Gluten Douches the worst team in the league... I drafted three running backs all in the top 13 RBs in the league... some teams don't even have one RB in the top 13 of the league. My QB (Lawrence) was averaging 27 points a games in the last 3 weeks and ranked in the top 13. My WR's are my worst part of my starting lineup and I have two guys that average double digits - one of them is named Davante Adams. My TE is the number 5 TE in all of fantasy football - yet somehow, Gluten Douches is the only team eliminated?!?!?!?!?! 

Felt good to get that off my chest....

Now let's look at the matchups - which will include what needs to happen for teams to make the playoff and/or seeding

Matchup of the Week

Ankle Holster (5-8) v The J-Bones (6-7)

There is a scenario with both these teams in the playoffs - highly unlikely - essentially a win or go home.

Ankle Holster: Must Win... also need I Hate Chad G to lose and stay above them in points, as well as Handy Rudgins losing, or winning but Ankle Holster outscores them by 40 points.

The J-Bones: A) Win and I Hate Chad G Too loses and they are win B) Lose and they need I Hate Chad G Too to lose and they stay ahead them in points as well as Handy Rudgins to lose

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Gluten Douches (3-10) v Hoosier Daddy (5-8)

Gluten Douches: Out... eff fantasy football

Hoosier Daddy: Must Win... Need Ankle Holster to win and out score them by 70 points, need Randy Hudgins to lose, need I Hate Chad G Too to lose... could happen - wouldn't bet on it!

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: Gluten Douches

East West TD's (9-4) v I Hate Chad G (5-8)

East West TD's: In... With a win and a Njigbas loss they are the one seed, with a loss and a PEN15 Wrinkle win they are the three seed

I Hate Chad G: Must win... and need to score a sh*t ton of points while other teams don't score a lot of points.... essentially eliminated.

Prediction: East West TD's

Mystery Guest: East West TD's

I Hate Chad G Too (6-7) v Njigbas in Paris (9-4)

I Hate Chad G Too: There is a scenario where a win doesn't guarantee a playoff spot. Win and The J-Bones lose, IN. Win and The J-Bones win... IHCGT starts off with a 6 point headstart, it will be a points scored tie-breaker. Lose and Ankle Holster wins but scores 3 points less than you and Handy Rudgins loses and you should be in.

Njigbas in Paris: In... win and you have the one seed. Lose and you are most likely the two seed unless something crazy happens and PEN15 wins and outscores you by 70 points.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

I Miss Tom Brady (7-6) v No Time for Love (8-5)

I Miss TB12: Win and in... Lose and need The J-Bones and I Hate Chad G Too to both lose, if one loses you are you in the playoffs.

No Time for Love: In... Win and PEN15 loses, you are the 3 seed... if they win you are most likely 4 seed. Lose and ARBL wins, you are most likely the 5 or 6 seed. Either way, still in the playoffs.

Prediction: No Time for Love

Mystery Guest: No Time For Love

Ertz when Eifert (8-5) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-6)

Ertz: In... Win and Love Time and Wrinkle lose and will receive the 3 seed... Lose and ARBL wins, drop down to 6 seed. Will finish somewhere between 3rd and 6th.

ARBL: In... Technically, there is a scenario where they don't make it - but they would need to be outscored by JBones by 115+ points. With a win they could move to the 4th seed, with a loss they could drop as low as 7th.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert

PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5) v Handy Rudgins (5-8)

Wrinkle: In... win and East/West TD's loses gets 2nd seed. Lose and could drop as low as 5th if Love Time and Ertz when Eifert wins

Hudgins: Must Win... and needs Ankle Holster to win and stay within 40 points and I Hate Chad G Too to lose

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle

With Love

Commish

Eff it... good luck to everyone - I am out.... may the odds be ever in your favor!

Week 13 Result

None of the pleasantries today... just strictly down to business.

Matchup of the Week

I Hate Chad G (5-8) v Insert Team Name Here (6-7)

This is a huge win for Insert Team Name (now calling themselves, "I Hate Chad G Too." This win essentially keeps them in the playoff race - most of it came from the Monday Night Football RB's (Etienne and Mixon). Unfortunately, that all but wraps up the chances for I Hate Chad G. You really hate to see such a beloved manager go down like this - his rival knocking him out of the running. If I was a conspiracy theorist - I would say this was scripted!

Prediction: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

Gluten Douches (3-10) v East/West TD's (9-4)

Destiny is defined as "the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person in the future." It is Gluten's destiny to find a way to lose each matchup... like this one. Coming back and making a run to beat Titties - Lawrence and Engram were each having a terrific game. Then Lawrence gets hurt - and it all just stops. On top of that, the game went into overtime and Gluten surely would have won this matchup. On the flip side, the once powerful Titties needs to solve a few issues as they get ready for the playoffs. The biggest issue to solve - QB.

Prediction: Gluten Douches... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: East West TDs... RIGHT!!

Handy Rudgins (5-8) v Hoosier Daddy (5-8)

If there was a way to convolute the playoff race - we had the perfect combination this week. Instead of clearing things up for who get eliminated and who is still the race... Hoosier Daddy is still technically in it - although highly unlikely. This win, which was a big one, does show that there is firepower on their side. On the flip side, Purdy and Chase combine for 60+ points and Handy Rudgins still can't get the job done... no bueno.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!! 

Njigbas in Paris (9-4) v I Miss TB12 (7-6)

Talk about really convoluting things... iy yi yi. TB12 scores a huge win this week and also puts the 1 seed in jeopardy for Njigbas. Apparently, in a race old man Tom could still get it done against some Njigbas. On top of that, TB12 scored 133 points and that is including a modest 13 points from Patrick Mahomes. On the flip side, Nobody had a good week for Njigbas and the Browns scored negative points. That doesn't exactly spell top dawg.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Time for Love (8-5) v Ertz when Eifert (8-5)

If you had to label the biggest surprise of the season - it would undoubtedly be Ertz when Eifert. If you look at that team - outside of Tyreek Hill - there is nobody that stands out. Yet, somehow - some way this team is 8-5... to put it in perspective. The first team eliminated was Gluten Douches... Ertz has scored less than 20 points more than that team. There are some teams that just find ways to win matchups... Tyreek Hill is a big reason why this team wins matchups. On the flip side, Time for Love will be fine - they will have Josh Allen for the playoffs - this loss just hurt their chances at the top seed.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Time for Love... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-6) v Ankle Holster (5-8)

The most ironic thing of all this... I picked ARBL because I thought that Ankle Holster was going to be the Mystery Guest's pick. Then the Mystery Guest threw a curve ball in there and picked ARBL.... then Ankle Holster threw a curve ball in there - and WON!! This keeps them still alive in the playoff race... updates will be included in the final season post - which will include a breakdown what needs to happen for each team.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

The J-Bones (6-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5)

I am taking a new game plan for next season... I am going to go to the draft party (because I ain't no b*tch), but I am going to let the computer auto-draft my team. I will then proceed to moan about what sh*tty job the computer did drafting my team and then by the end of the season I should have a chance at the number one seed in the league.... sound familar?

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 46-45

Mystery Guest: 47-44

GD Top Drafted RB: J. Jacobs (174.1)

AH Top Drafted RB: B. Hall (161.4)