Good to be back...

Let me just say... it is good to be back. The same might not be able to be said for everyone, especially for some NFL players...

Matthew Stafford - maybe he didn't make the trip to Australia and it was just a double in his place?

Drake Maye - looked efficient in the first half and looked like he was ready to go - then boom, just dropped off the face of the earth

Colston Loveland - uhhhhh.... have you even checked into camp??

Jamarr Chase - maybe not his fault, but how do you only get 4 targets and be considered the best WR in the league?

On flip side, some players were definitely ready to play...

Caleb Williams - too early to call for MVP?

Jahmyr Gibbs - no way he can keep up that touch rate? But if he does, look out

King Henry - might have the most touches of a football of anyone alive (counting high school) - yet still performing like a new car

Kenneth Walker III - definitely some people their matchup in week 1 with a big MNF performance

Not to fear.... if you didn't have any of the top performers - the name of the game early on is to not overreact... UNLESS YOU ARE ME!!! Let's just break down how good the DDA did...

Old Rankings

1. Penias and Ferb - scored in the top 3 teams of the week... definitely showcased why they ranked in the top spot

2. The J-Bones - it is not too often you score 139 points (4th overall) and still lose... they belong near the top - it is similar to when Ohio State loses to Texas - should either team really be punished for a loss that close?

3. Factory of Sadness - finished 2nd in scoring in week 1 - so far... the DDA can feel pretty good about the rankings

4. Tuten my Horn - won their matchup and finished 6th in points scored - not too far off the ranking, but there a large gap between 5th and 6th in team points

5. Hardly Know Her - it is at this point that we begin to see the mess of the middle... took the loss, but was respectable in the outcome - oddly, only beat 2 other teams - but the gap between the bottom 2 and here was MASSIVE

6. Ertz when Eifert - lost in the tightest matchup of the week - scored 117 points, finished 8th in scoring - had they finished 6th in scoring... they win

7. Ankle Holster - sometimes it is better to be lucky than good, missed ranked this team based upon week 1 - but hey, just play someone who doesn't break 100 points and you are good to go

8. Greatest Offense - this fantasy performance looked the lowly Cowboys defense just letting Dart and Skat run all over them

9. Cleveland Streamers - respectable... but a loss is a loss and they finished week 1 and the 7th best score... maybe the loss knocks them down to 9th and makes this a pretty fair ranking

10. Mounsey Zombies - the definition of boom-or-bust in week 1... but when 3 players boom... you have going to do well... might need to move them up in the rankings?

11. Shough me Jeanty - here is our biggest mover of the week... won the belt for the week, sent a message that the boys can play

12. A.R's Broken Finger - a nice win, a big margin of victory and most likely a nice bump in the rankings

13. My team Sucks - a fairly accurate representation... scored the 2nd fewest points, lost, and the name fits... but there are pieces there

14. Slender TD's - scored the fewest points, ranking is fitting - but I am not going slander this team - was thrown into the fire and took over a team without the knowledge of it

New Rankings

1. Penias and Ferb - (1-0) - no movement

2. Factory of Sadness - (1-0) - moved up 1 spot

3. The J-Bones - (0-1) - moved down 1 spot

4. Shough My Jeanty - (1-0) - moved up 7 spots

5. Mounsey Zombies - (1-0) - moved up 5 spots

6. Tuten My Horn - (1-0) - moved down 2 spots

7. Ankle Holster - (1-0) - no movement

8. Cleveland Streamers - (1-0) - moved up 1 spot

9. Ertz when Eifert - (0-1) - moved down 3 spots

10. Hardly Know Her - (0-1) - moved down 5 spots

11. A.R's Broken Finger - (0-1) - moved up 1 spot

12. Greatest Offense - (0-1) - moved down 4 spots

13. My Team Sucks - (0-1) - no movement

14. Slender TD's - (0-1) - no movement

Notes to the new rankings....

- There 4 teams that did not adjust (not too bad for a DDA)

- The J-Bones stays in the top 3 despite a loss, scoring points matters and they are rewarded for that

- Shough My Jeanty moves the most spots (in the right direction), heavy lies the hips that wear the belt

- Hardly and Offense take the biggest tumble down the rankings

Week 2 Predictions

Matchup of the Week

Shough My Jeanty* (1-0) v The J-Bones (0-1)

This week the MotW features the biggest mover on the boards and the highest ranked loser in week 1. 

Battle to Watch: Tet McMillan v Malik Nabers

Both these young receivers had good weeks in terms of targets and catches - but they never got into the endzone. The real separation at the WR position in fantasy is either scoring touchdowns or seeing an absurd amount of targets. Look for these players to do one or the other in this week's position battle - but especially look for Malik Nabers to score a touchdown and get the big boost this week.

How Shough My Jeanty wins: It sounds boring (and probably impossible), but just do what exactly what you did last week and you win. While Tet (and Kincaid) didn't score a touchdown, pretty much every other player in the lineup did. Keep finding pay dirt and that is a recipe for success. Jeanty and Hampton play each other in real life - so that is one game that probably circled on My Jeanty's calendar!

How The J-Bones win: They need production from a pass catcher not named Trey McBride. If they can't help out - it might be time to find a solution. At some point McBride/CMC/Hurts will need help carrying the load. The thing that worries me about the WR's is that Metcalf and Nabers will be lining up with 2 of the top 5 DB's in the NFL. Hopefully, in the limited amount of space they have - their QB can actually give them the opportunity.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Slender TD's (0-1) v Penias and Ferb

How Slender wins: The stallions wake up... Drake Maye looked like he was completely out of it in the 2nd half. Puka may have lead the Rams in all pass catching categories - but that doesn't take much when Stafford looks worse than Maye did the day before. If those two can wake up and start to play like they did at the end of last year than Maye and Puka should be able to have a much better week 2.

How Penias wins: The big 4.... Gibbs/Williams/Olave/JD5 combined for 104 total points in week 1. If that can be a normal output (it won't be)... this team won't lose all season. Yes, Gibbs won't routinely go for 30+ and Olave and Williams averaging more than 25 between the two of them - but also JD5 now gets the Cowboys defense... which he needs to torch for more reasons than the team win (side bet as well).

Prediction: Penias and Ferb

Mystery Guest: Penias and Ferb

Mounsey Zombies (1-0) v Ankle Holster (1-0)

How Zombies wins: Lamar and King Henry get to play the New Orleans Saints. The Saint gave up a billions yards to Jahmyr Gibbs on the ground and these two seem to love finding holes in the defense. I would hate to be the Saints who now have a blueprint against them and then they welcome the deadliest backfield. I don't see 32 points coming from Watson again... but he could get up in the 15-20 mark against the Jets. This big two need to do the heavy lifting and the supporting cast need to follow.

How Holsters win: Allen and Bijan. It is interesting that the bulk of this matchup could come down to a two man battle between QB's and RB's. I truly think that whichever team wins the battle of Lamar v Allen and Henry v Bijan wins this matchup - and Holsters has to like to matchups that his two dawgs have. Allen plays again the Lions and Shough (good... but no Josh Allen) lit them up for 410 passing yards. Bijan gets Carolina - Swift hit them for 125 and 3 touchdowns. Look out world, this could get uncomfortable. 

Prediction: Mounsey Zombies

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Cleveland Streamers (0-1) v Factory of Sadness (1-0)

How Streamers win: Depth and Patience. When I look at this roster, there is no "wow" factor - but there is a slew of names that should be consistent and score decent points week in and week out. The Chiefs proved the are willing to hand the ball off, Cook should have a decent bounce back week against the porous Lions defense, Herbert will be just fine in the long run, DeVonta is either going to flame out or bang out (I am betting on the latter). This team reminds me of the San Antonio Spurs dynasty - not going to do too much flashy... but they will get the job done.

How Factory wins: Take advantage of matchups. Caleb Williams gets a Minny defense that gave up 387 passing yards and they still won. Williams needs to take advantage of this opportunity and do what he did in Week 1 - light up the scoreboard. Isaiah Likely had a big week 1 and could have just as big of a week 2. The Rams defense was supposed to be deadly - but then things went south... Donald is not ready to play yet, Garrett is on IR. That leaves Duffie on the outside - but who is covering the TE? No one. Likely and Williams need to have big weeks - because the other matchups don't look so friendly.

Prediction: Cleveland Streamers

Mystery Guest: Factory of Sadness

A.R's Finger (1-0) v Tuten my Horn (1-0)

How Finger wins: Paging Loveland, paging Dr. Loveland. How do the Chicago Bears score 50+ points and Loveland doesn't even sniff a fantasy point. Yes, you read that right - A POINT! Insane. I can see that the lineup has been shifted and it is funny that in a lineup with CeeDee and Jefferson at WR - neither of them led the team in week 1... that would be the deadly Jalen Coker. Now, he isn't going to do that again - so this is where Loveland needs to step-up and fill the regression.

How Tuten wins: Paging Chase, paging Dr. Chase. I don't know who looked worse in their week 1 debut to the season... Loveland or Chase? Chase had 2 receptions for 12 yards... what? The Bengals scored 33 points and Chase did what? Obviously, that is going to change and it might need to come right about now. If players do anything close to what they did in week 1 (they won't) - this is going to get ugly (it won't)... so Tuten needs Chase do his thing this week and put up a very large number - something with a 3 or 4 at the beginning.

Prediction: A.R's Finger

Mystery Guest: Tuten my Horn

Greatest Offense (0-1) v My Team Sucks (0-1)

How Greatest wins: You hope that "My Team Sucks" fails to show up like they did in week 1. The ironic part about this matchup is the team names... My Team Sucks looks like the team with the Greatest Offense and Greatest Offense loooks like the one that will be searching for answers. At least, at this point - Jaxson Dart is going to get your $20 back.

How Sucks wins: You hope that you don't do what did in week 1. It is almost shocking to see a team with this much potential and look back at what they did in week 1. They scored 85 points and 25 came from Zay Flowers - whaaaaaaatttt??? The name of the game is, "Do your job!" Do it this week, get a win, move up the rankings.

Prediction: My Team Sucks

Mystery Guest: My Team Sucks

Hardly Know Her (0-1) v Ertz when Eifert (0-1)

How Hardly wins: Get any help through the air. Taylor and Etienne did just fine - especially consider both teams lost and were in passing scripts (Saints had 400+ passing yards and Baltimore looked like they control the ball everytime I looked up). Harldy needs something bigger from Rice/Odunze/Ferguson. Rice has a major opportunity against Indy - Zay Flowers just torched them and they are similar players. Help should be on the way boys!

How Ertz wins: Goff to ARSB. There is nothing better than having a stud WR and his QB on the same team. Goff is never going to be a fantasy QB that just blows you away number wise - but he will remain efficient and that is all you can ask for. What will blow you away is ARSB - and every time he scores, it is essentially 10 points instead of 6 - thank-you for the 4 points added to Goff. If these two can keep a strong connection going, this is a deadly team.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: Hardly Know Her

As always, good luck to everyone - except you, Slender TD's - may your entire roster declare to be drafted in the WNBA and forever be stuck in the cycle of women's basketball hell.

With Love

Commish

Week 1 Predictions

Fantasy Guru: 5-2

Mystery Guest: 4-3