Playoff Week 2 Results/Championship Prediction

Are we all aware of what just happened? There is an extremely good chance that not many of us know or saw what happened this past week. Hoosier Daddy just had an all-time great performance right when he needed it - or didn't need it. When the spotlight was on, Hoosier Daddy's team stepped up and delivered the 2nd most points ever scored in one week. Just think about that... I mean sure scoring an obscene amount of points is cool.... but it a helluva lot cooler to do it in the semifinals of the playoffs. The only question that remains: Did he blow his load too early? You never want to be that guy that brings a certified dime piece home from the bar and then you end up suffering from that PE issue. You will be the tale of town... nobody will forget the guy you blew his load too early. 

Some might think that all the pressure is actually on this week - because if you score 193 points in the semifinals and then go on to lose.... was it all for naught young soldier?

Here is how we got to this lovely point in the season...

Matchup of the Week

6) Church Vans v 2) Country Roads

Is Mark Andrews the top playoff player so far? 100% YES. The trade of the season seems to have paid major dividends for Church Vans as Andrews and Pittman combined for 43 points at a crucial point in the playoffs. Will anybody stop the Church Vans wheels from rolling?!? No matter what happens in the championship, this has been a dream run for the Church Vans. It has also come to my attention that some of you may not even know where the name came from. Let my good friend Theo Vonn explain...

Now, how are you suppose to stop something as majestical as a Church Van?

Prediction: Country Roads... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

1) Hoosier Daddy v 5) Bluffton Backup Backups

Not that it really matter for BBB - but the injuries were just too much to overcome. It was a great run, but what do you do when you run into what just happened for the number 1 team in the league? You bend over, look back at him, and ask if he needs for vaseline. Just look at that week from Hoosier Daddy! Effin' Cole Kmet had to go and ruin everything by not breaking into the double digits. All across the board it was banger after banger - Hoosier Daddy had 6 of the top 7 spots in this matchup and finished with the 2nd highest point total ever. I thought you two were friends - but friends don't do what Hoosier Daddy just did to BBB... not even mortal enemies beat each other this badly. Woof!

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

This is the point when I say where I stand in the season and where the mystery guest stands in the season - but it NEVER A DOUBT!! I will take my Bang nice and chilled at the next draft! 

Let's look at the championship... for all the marbles... RON JEREMY's MARBLES!!

Championship Battle

1) Hoosier Daddy v 6) Church Vans

Okay, so to be completely honest - for a guy who happens to take a lot of screen shots throughout the season - you would think I would be pretty good at it by now. Nope, this was my 1st attempt. I decided to keep it, because it was an omen to me. It represented the absolute dismantling that is about to take place. It was a good run by the little guy - but let's be real. Allen and Diggs play the Atlanta defense, Cooper faces the Cardinals, and Hoosier Daddy has the 49ers defense against the Houston Texans. On the flip side, Church Vans has tough matchups all across the board (with the exception of Brady vs NYJ). Williams/Gordon face a tough LAC defense, Waddle faces a tough Tennessee defense, and Andrews for against a LAR team still fighting for the 1 seed in the NFC. Hey, it was a good run kid - but this was Hoosier Daddy's season of destiny. The only question remains: How many managers are going to draft 4 QBs next year?

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: WHODAFUQCARES

Good luck to all - fire, helicopter, kobe - shish, boom, bah

Bless

Commish

Playoff Week 2 Predictions

Let's be honest, my heart isn't in it right now. Does it have to do with TFC not being in the playoffs? Negative ghost rider. It has more to do with heading to Winter Break.... locking up the predictions.... and knowing that there will not be that morning after shit talking between teams.

It is eerily similar to when you are finishing courting someone.... presumably your wife.... maybe earlier in your life it was a future prospect.... maybe earlier in your life it wasn't even a future prospect. As soon as the event is done and the race was won (obviously by you) then you have decide is your heart really into what is happening? If it is, then you are willing to cuddle and pretend to make her feel special. If it isn't, maybe you break-out that guitar and sing a song about letting her know she has got to go.

At this point, I am breaking out that guitar and I am letting her know - it is time for her to go. Maybe I pull out a really strange fetish to try and get her out... (feet sucking, chest shitting, hair shaving). Nonetheless, I will give it the ole' college try....

Matchup of the Week

6) Church Vans v 2) Country Roads

Lesbian honest, both of these matchups could be the MotW - both matchups could go either way. Church Vans had a huge week from the TE's last week, but now there is a strong possibility that Kelce does not play this week (huge loss for Church Vans). There is also an issue with the RB department (there has been all year, but it hasn't stopped them) - questionable status's will need to be watched it is going to be a nerve racking lead-up to Sunday for Church Vans. On the flip side, Country Roads did not especially outstanding last week as they took advantage of their 2-seed gift and scathed by PEN15 Wrinkle. However, I am going to go with the 2-seed - if Kelce does not play for Church Vans... that is a huge hole that can not be filled by many men (we allllll know what I am talking about). 

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Church Vans

1) Hoosier Daddy v 5) Bluffton Backup Backups

In the battle of the Tech's D - both teams are facing injury issues. BBB will be missing their chefs in the kitchen (Cook and Cooks) and Hoosier Daddy could be without Ekeler or Conner. Only one team is truly protected at their RB spot, holding the handcuff (Hoosier Daddy = Edmonds/Jackson). Once again, I have to go with what was working all season long and Allen and Diggs have begin to consistently show-up for big weeks. It would also be poetic justice to see the leaders of each division battle for the championship... wouldn't it?

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

As always, good luck to all teams and anyone else who is joining me in the the consolation bracket - enjoy your break!

With Love,

Commish

Playoff Week 1 Results

Are we shocked? Are we surprised at what took place? I know one of us that is not that surprised...

"Look for the TE's to make the big difference this week."

"Allen and Diggs will need to have big weeks and not let the Bill slip further in the playoff race."

"Kittle and Garappolo will give them a fighting chance...."

This seems like one of those moments when someone predicts something crazy or multiple things and they may be wrong most of the time, but when they are right - they throw it in your face. We all know what I am talking about - typically it takes place with kids. Maybe they are shooting half court shots - it takes them 15/20 times and then it finally goes in and everybody goes crazy. As if something special just happened? Pssssssshhhhhhhhhh....

Either way, this week was a good prediction - and quite possibly the clinching week in the battle between The Guru and The Mystery Guest. Let's breakdown the playoffs...

Matchup of the Week

6) Church Vans v 3) Gruden's Emails

Church Vans had the perfect recipe for them to win: Both TE's had huge weeks and almost singlehandedly won the matchup by themselves. They needed to have a big week and they provided the big points needed to pull off the upset. Not only that, but Gruden had to have a rough week in the support players - Mixon and Jacobs both struggled and J. Fields ended up being a top performer for the team.... definitely not what was needed in a crucial 1st round matchup. This is the break's of not getting the top spot and getting to play The J-Bones (72 points this week). Some may even say that the divisional winners shouldn't get 1st and 2nd seeds - I say, take that up with the NFL.

Prediction: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails... WRONG!!

1) Hoosier Daddy v 8) The J-Bones

When it really comes down to it - this was actually a pretty sad week for fantasy football. Outside of the TE's and Jonathan Taylor there was no one that really stood out. Which also means that Allen and Diggs combining for 34.3 points was still considered a decent scoring week. It was just a case of consistency throughout one lineup and a really bad week in the other lineup. Hoosier Daddy could have been beaten this week, but The J-Bones had a terrible fantasy football week. Will this be the only week that Hoosier Daddy lets their guard down?!?

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

2) Country Roads v 6) PEN15 Wrinkle

Nothing to see here.... just move along to the next matchup.

Prediction: Country Roads.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Country Roads.... RIGHT!!

5) Bluffton Backup Backups v 4) Hernandez Hit Men

Annnnddddd this is when things get a little crazy... who would have guessed that Brandin Cooks has the week that he had - NOT THIS GUY. BBB continues to put up large amounts of points in the latter part of the season and into the playoffs. This is a huge boost into next week - where he will face Hoosier Daddy in an all tech department battle. Will BBB continue this hot streak and take down another giant? As for HHM, it is a disappointing ending for a terrific season. It ended up being injuries that took down the squad and left HHM scrambling. Oh well, at least you got to enjoy one dance!

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... WRONG!!

Season: 56-46

Mystery Guest: 48-54

I do believe that this mathematically clinches the victory on the season predictions against the Mystery Guest... The Guru wins again!!!

With Love,

Commish

Playoff Week 1

This is a nerve racking time for some teams and others just sit back and relax..... because they just aren't good enough to make to the promise land. Some of us don't get the pleasure of competing for the belt and the Ron Jeremy Trophy. Some of us aren't good enough to get to sweat it out.

Now, if you are apart of the lucky 8 - maybe you got a great waiver wire pick-up; maybe you stumbled upon the top WR or traded for the top TE; maybe you just plain avoided the injury bug; or maybe you are just better than everyone - you now have the added pressure of competing in a "win or go home" bracket to the death. Actually, can imagine if you lost there was a strict punishment? Talk about a whole lot of pressure. Can you imagine if that was the case in the year of The Cooler? You have a team that is scoring in bunches - but some how you lose to a team because you are playing The Cooler and everyone had their worst week against him. Ohhhhhh the pressure, the sweat, the anger - the playoffs are great, aren't they?

Let's jump right into the matchups and see if there is any potential for an upset...

Matchup of the Week

6) Church Vans v 3) Gruden's Emails

Not only is this the biggest chance of an upset happening - but it may come at the hands of a two TE set. Andrews and Kelce have scored like top-tier wide receivers this season and they both have decent matchups this week. Kelce has been struggling, but the last time the Chiefs played LAC Kelce had 17 points. Likewise, Andrews is looking to build on his strong performance last week. If Church Vans is going to pull off the upset - it is going to need big week from both of these players. On the flip side, it is business as usual for Gruden's Emails.... Kupp is the MVP and needs to perform like it now that the lights are the brightest. If Gruden wants to avoid the upset - they will need big weeks from their MVP (Kupp) and from their stud running back... Mixon. Look for the TE's to make the big difference this week and Church Vans to pull off the upset!

Prediction: Church Vans

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails

1) Hoosier Daddy v 8) The J-Bones

The J-Bones made the playoffs - and that is great for the stats... but at this point are they just a sacrificial lamb? The J-Bones are banged up and have struggled finding a replacement for CMC - can you even replace him? It is going to take a Music City Miracle to pull off this upset. On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy has the type of lineup that could win the belt every week and all they need to do is avoid a slip-up and this round should be theirs for the taking. Allen and Diggs will need to have a big week to not let the Bills slip into an even larger hole in the playoff push - which is very good for Hoosier Daddy. Cooper has a very comfy matchup with the NY Giants and the defense (Dolphins) matchup against the NY Jets. Keep it simple stupid.... going with the top dog here.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

2) Country Roads v 6) PEN15 Wrinkle

The most recent loss for Country Roads had him still scoring 144 points - which put him in the top 3 for the week. Country Roads has the line-up to go far in this league.... but don't take Wrinkle lightly. Garoppolo and Kittle get to play Atlanta's sad excuse for a defense this week which gives Wrinkle a fighting chance. Harris comes off of a bye-week, but has to face Indianapolis' run defense - which has not ideal. On the flip side, Country Roads comes in sporting Jefferson - who happens to be turning it up at the right moment of the season. Country Roads is going to be looking to make a deep run into the playoffs - and it is going to start with beating one of the hottest teams in the league.

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Country Roads

5) Bluffton Backup Backups v 4) Hernandez Hit Men

This matchups happens to pair up two teams that could potentially win the belt - one could argue that this matchup could sport the most points between the two teams. BBB has D. Cook... who happen to have a career week last week.... on the bench - can bet he won't be on the bench again this week. Prescott also has a very comfy matchup against the NY Giants. The issue is, HHM has Elliott/Patterson and Deebo Samuel who is essentially a RB for San Fran. This is going to be a close matchup (they all should be... it is the playoffs) - but I think the slightest of edges has to go to Hernandez Hit Men.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

As always, good luck to all teams.... and since TFC is now out - nobody has to go down in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Final Regular Season Results

Let's just bring to light the elephant in the room - YES I STARTED A TE THAT WAS RULED OUT BEFORE THE WEEKEND. Yes, I have a tight end on my bench. No, there is no excuse for this to take place. For all the shit that I talk and bring up about team owners not subbing out players - it was fitting to watch as the most important game of the year for The Fortune Cockies takes place and I leave in Waller. Sometimes, you just sit there and think to yourself.... "Am I really that dumb? Yes, yes you are."

Then I just look around the world and realize, nevermind - there are a lot dumber people out there than you.

Well, that is out of the way - let's look at the regular season awards...

MVP: Cooper Kupp

Some may argue that this is not a true MVP - some may argue that J. Taylor should be the MVP of the league. However, the Kupp outscored the 2nd wide receiver by 4 points a game. Taylor is the number one scoring RB because Henry was injured. Kupp has been the most consistent player in fantasy all season long and this award is honored to have Kupp win it.

Steal of the Draft: Deebo Samuel

Let's be honest, half of the time this award is given to a player who got really lucky and took advantage of a situation. In this instance, Samuel was primed and ready to breakout this season. He is lightning fast and playing in an offense that places him as the number one option to throw the ball. On top of that, San Fran had injury issues in the backfield and Samuel had a run of weeks where he also ran the ball. San Fran found multiples ways to get the ball in Samuel's hands and he was able to finish as a top-5 wide receiver even though he was drafted 107th overall. 

Waiver Wire Pick-up: C. Patterson

It pays to lose early... some may say it might be a strategy worth looking into. Patterson essentially became the entire offense for Atlanta after Godwin left the team mysteriously. Patterson was the poor man's Run CMC - and then he was the rich man's CMC. Patterson finished as a top-10 running back and only twice (once in week one) did he fail to crack double digits in a week. The consistency from a waiver wire pick-up like this is something that can win leagues.

Trade of the Year: D. Hopkins for M. Andrews and M. Pittman

There was a clearcut winner in this trade - and it wasn't the recipient of Hopkins. We have all seen the point disparity - there is no need to beat a dead horse. Not only that, after acquiring Hopkins... TFC finished the season 1-6 going into the final week. Church Vans finished the season 5-2 going into the final week. Church Vans is the clearcut winner of the trade of the year - good for you big guy!

Team to beat in the Playoffs: Hoosier Daddy?

This award really came down to the end of the season. Hoosier Daddy has been a points scoring machine - only once failing to break 100 points in the season. That is not to say that they can't be beaten... this is fantasy football after all. On top of that there are two other teams that routinely score points in bunches - lookout in the 2nd round, it is going to be fireworks!

**No lineup pictures this results post.... gotta focus up for next week**

MotW

The Fortune Cockies (6-8) v PEN15 Wrinkle (7-7)

Welp, some may say it was bad luck. Some may even say it was karma. I will say, "Hopkins is the equivalent of the the black plague." Everything.... I MEAN EVERYTHING... took a downward spiral after acquiring Hopkins. With that being said, Wrinkle does create a very intriguing playoff after winning the belt last week and finishing in the top 3 this week.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The Fortune Cockies... WRONG!!

Teardrop's TDs (6-8) v Dixie Normous (5-9)

In this matchup that didn't matter - Teardrops scores just enough points.... even with Jackson scoring 1.18 points. It looks like both these teams will get back to the scouting board and put together a strategy to try and find themselves in the promise land next year.

Prediction: Teardrop TD's.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous.... WRONG!!

Gruden's Emails (11-3) v The J-Bones (6-8)

It has to be nice to know that Kupp is playing for you. This year's fantasy MVP and on top of that Kupp has a schedule that is very welcoming for wide receivers remaining. Gruden's Emails will finish as the 3rd seed and they will get to luxury of playing Church Vans in the first round - happen to be the recipient of the trade of the year and they really turned things around. On the flip side, The J-Bones drop to the 8th seed and now have to play the number one seed and the "team to beat" in the first round. It is going to take something special - but we have seen crazier upsets in the playoffs.

Prediction: Gruden's Emails.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (7-7) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas (6-8)

Obviously, there is little room for me to talk - taking into consideration what happened with TFC - but leaving D. Cook on the bench this week was a killer disappointment. It did not really matter, BBB is in and ARBL is out - which is the end result that ultimately matters after this week. BBB had 3 guys on bye week and some may think, "Was this a play to get to a certain side of the playoff bracket?" Honestly, who knows at this point - but what I do know, a full strength BBB squad is going to be a tough out in the playoffs.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy? (11-3) v Belt Fairy (3-11)

A big night from Conner and Prater propels Hoosier Daddy to the regular season crown and the number one seed in the playoffs. Belt Fairy had a chance going into MNF, but it was Conner and not Murray who had the fantasy night for the Cardinals. Hoosier Daddy moves on to face The J-Bones and Belt Fairy moves on to the bracket that nobody cares about. Such is life.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (5-9) v Country Roads (8-6)

What is the saying, "Never a DOUBT!" Let's be clear, it is really hard to hate on a guy that sold out for his favorite NFL team and loaded up with players for his fantasy team. It is even harder to hate on a guy that did that and then had his record improve drastically after making those moves. It would be poetic justice for someone like Ankle Holster to win the belt, since it will be the last time he has a chance at it (not making the playoffs). Country Roads is just thankful that this week does not technically matter - since they will end up having a top 3 week and still losing.

Prediction: Country Roads... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Hernandez Hit Men (10-4) v Church Vans (7-7)

Not that it matters for Church Vans - they still make the playoffs - but the decision to leave Gordon on the bench is what cost them this week. Maybe it was a play to get the matchup they really wanted... who knows? Both these teams move on to the playoffs and we were one big Kupp night away from having a rematch in the first round. Instead, HHM will face BBB and Church Vans will take on Gruden's Emails. Good to be you guys, good to be you!

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Season: 53-45

Mystery Guest: 47-51

With Love,

Commish

Week 14 Predictions

Here we go, the final week of the regular season. Usually we get to this point and we have a big ole cluster f*ck in the middle of the pack. Not so much this year, the teams are pretty set.... outside the last spot.

IN

Hoosier Daddy - win and they lock-up the first seed, lose and they can still get the 1st seed with a tie-breaker

Gruden's Emails - win and Hoosier Daddy loses and they get the 1st seed - if they lose they are in a tough spot for all tie-breakers

Hernandez Hit Men - win and Hoosier/Gruden both lose - they are currently ahead for the tie-breaker for the 1st seed

Country Roads - win or lose they will still hold onto the 2nd seed.... unless they score 0 points and Church Vans scores 160+

Bluffton Backup Backups - win and lock up the 5th seed, lose and could possibly drop to the 7th seed if Church wins and J-Bones wins and scores 20 more points than BBB

Church Vans - win and has a chance at the 5th seed, lose and could possibly drop to the 7th seed

The J-Bones - win and has a chance at the 5th seed, lose and could possibly drop to the 7th seed

These spots are locked... Country Roads has the 2nd seed no matter what happens. Hoosier/Emails/HHM are battling for the 1st/3rd/4th. BBB/Vans/Boners are battling for 5th/6th/7th.

Then we have the battle for the 8th spot - which brings us to the.....

Matchup of the Week

PEN15 Wrinkle* (6-7) v The Fortune Cockies (6-7)

Trust me, it pains me just as much as the next guy to see PEN15 in the MotW - but it had to be done. This is essentially a playoff game - win or go home. On top of that Wrinkle has to be feeling good, coming off a big belt win the week before. Not to mention that The Fortune Cockies have been on a downward spiral ever since they acquired Hopkins <----- Black Plague. Henry went down, Hopkins was injured, Waller went down... and TFC, which started 5-1, end their season going 6-1 and the only win they had they scored the 2nd lowest point total and just happen to be playing the lowest. Some people say this is a clear easy win for PEN15 Wrinkle. Some people say TFC is the worst team in the league right. You know what I say? THEY ARE RIGHT. But guess what.... even David slayed that fat ass of a giant... time for TFC to rise up. 

***It was discovered after writing this that PEN15 has a chance to make the playoffs and have scored the least amount of points in the entire season..... something is deeply wrong with that***

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: The Fortune Cockies

Teardrop TD's (5-8) v Dixie Normous (5-8)

This is a matchup of two teams that are knocked out of the running - who really gives a f*ck about this? Flip a coin and move on. One team has had the top RB in the league and is 3-1 in the last four weeks. However, that special RB - not in this week! As well as multiple other positions - look for Teardrops to win this week in a matchup that means nothing.

Prediction: Teardrop TD's

Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous

Gruden's Emails* (10-3) v The J-Bones (6-7)

Both of these teams are in it... both of these teams could use a win. Emails needs a win to keep their hopes alive of getting the 1st seed. The J-Bones needs a win to keep their hopes alive of getting that 5th seed - or do they want the 5th seed? Some may say that the 6th seed is better.... avoiding the 1st seed in round 2 (if they make it there). Some would say avoiding one of the top 3 teams in the first round is better. No matter what happens - both of these teams are in the playoffs.

Prediction: Gruden's Emails

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails

Bluffton Backup Backups** (7-6) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-8)

Bluffton Backups is the only team with something to play for in this matchup. ARBL is the team that had so much promise - but for some reason just couldn't get it together. To think that a team with 3 belt wins will not be in the post season is absolutely crazy. However, that is what happens when you have a boom-or-bust team. On the flip side BBB had a stretch that was unparalleled and now they are fighting for a seed in the playoffs - they are already locked in. With a win they lock up the 5th seed and if they lose they fall danger of dropping all the way to the 7th seed. Although, shouldn't be a worry.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

Hoosier Daddy** (10-3) v Belt Fairy* (3-10)

Once again we have a match where only one team has something to play for. Hoosier Daddy wins and they pretty much lock up the 1st seed and the regular season title (and $20). Luckily for them, they happen to be facing the Belt Fairy - which means there is a good chance they are taking down the belt this week. Look for this to be a blowout - even if Allen and Diggs have to deal with 55+ winds.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Ankle Holster (4-9) v Country Roads** (8-5)

Country Roads is 2nd no matter what happens - they have locked up their division and they can't get the 1st seed. With that being said, it would be nice to go into the playoffs feeling good about the lineup and the only way to do that is to knock off a team that has crushed the playoff hopes of two teams in two weeks. Shouldn't be a problem right? Right? RIGHT? Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Hernandez Hit Men* (9-4) v Church Vans (7-6)

Both of these teams are in the playoffs and both of these teams have something to play for. But let's play something out....

Let's say that Hernandez Hit Men lose they now sit at the 4th seed. With a win by Church Vans and a loss by BBB - the Church Vans should be sitting in the 5th seed. This would then create and back-to-back matchup between Hernandez Hit Men and Church Vans. Wouldn't that be awesome? Anything else happens and we don't get to see the back-to-back battle.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

Bless

Commish

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you PEN15 Wrinkle, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 13 Results

There are a lot of similarities between what happened in the NFL this season and what has happened in the fantasy league this season. Mike Zimmer should be questioning himself as a man, a father, a lover, and especially as an NFL coach. Likewise, here I am... with my fantasy roster in pieces and losing all faith in humanity as TFC takes a brutal loss this week to the Ankle "Waiver Wire" Holster. Sometimes in life, you just sit and you ponder - "How did this happen? What life decisions have I made that has led me to this hell that I now call fantasy football week 13?" It sure does put things in perspective...

To make matters even worse - if you happen to ever venture over to the Stacking the Bet portion of the website... you will notice a Week 13 Betting Card. Which also happened to lose out on a possible $374 simply because the Vikings could not close out against the Detroit Lions. The same Detroit Lions that haven't won a game in nearly a calendar year. The same Detroit Lions that was missing their most explosive player (Swift). Very similar to the same fantasy team that was missing their most explosive.... THEIR ENTIRE F*CKING LINEUP!!

Well, we must progress and the show must go on - here is the current playoff race....

IN FOR SURE

Gruden's Emails

Hoosier Daddy

Hernandez Hit Men

The J-Bones

Church Vans

Country Roads

Bluffton Backup Backups

IN THE HUNT

PEN15 Wrinkle

The Fortune Cockies

OUT OF IT COMPLETELY

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

Teardrop TDs

Dixie Normous

Belt Fairy

Ankle Holster

Week 13 Results

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (6-7) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (7-6)

Turns out, the way things shuffled through this week - both of these teams are pretty much locked up in the playoffs. The J-Bones have a healthy lead in points over any other teams that could possibly catch them and Bluffton Backup Backups have acquired the coveted "7th" win. The hard part will be that nothing matters for them in the last week - not a real positioning battle for either team.

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups.... RIGHT!!

The Fortune Cockies (6-7) v Ankle Holster (4-9)

If you are even the slightest bit confused... just reread the first portion of the post. Know that TFC is now sitting in a corner, sobbing - wonder if they just blew their chance at the playoffs. There is really nothing more to say - just a straight ass performance from TFC.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Church Vans (7-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-8)

This is a huge win for Church Vans, but an even bigger loss for Teardrop TDs. This knocks Teardrops out of the running and they are now in the roll of spoiler. On the flip side, this was a huuuuuge win for Church Vans - this was the week to win and get themselves above .500 entering into the final week against Hernandez Hit Men. They jump up in the playoff percentages and are now almost assured a playoff spot (a lot needs to happen for them to lose their spot).

Prediction: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Church Vans... RIGHT!!

Dixie Normous (5-8) v Gruden's Emails* (10-3)

This was a big week for Dixie Normous - but in a reality it was a big loss for Emails, which now losses the firm grasp they hand on the regular season crown. Dixie is still eliminated but they have been showing the league that they are waiting to win consolation bracket. The bigger issue is now Gruden's Emails needs something special to happen if they are to retain the regular season title.

Sidenote: Both of these teams would have lost to Ankle Holster's Suicide Squad of a team. 

Prediction: Gruden's Emails... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails... WRONG!!

ARBL*** (5-8) v Hoosier Daddy** (10-3)

By my rough estimates - this makes Hoosier Daddy the hottest team in the league. Hoosier Daddy is built for the late season stretch and playoff run. The Bills are in a division that is not yet decided and there is lots of must play football left in their season. This helps Hoosier Daddy as they look into the playoffs and will be relying heavily on Allen and Diggs. On the flip side, ARBL has drastically hurt their chances of making the playoffs and will need a big week from Mahomes and Hill in the final week of the regular season to have a chance at the promise land.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Belt Fairy* (3-10) v PEN15 Wrinkle* (6-7)

Well, well, well - look who decided to show up. PEN15 made a statement at the exact right time of the season. Talk about taking down the belt and now forcing a matchup with TFC to decide who makes the playoffs - boy oh boy, things are going to be fun next week. Also, Belt Fairy lives up to their name and once agains their opponent takes down the belt. There have been 5 matchups that the Belt Fairy has been apart of involving the belt - and he has the most points scored against.... never a good recipe for a fantasy football season.

Prediction: Belt Fairy... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy... WRONG!!

Country Roads** (8-5) v Hernandez Hit Men (9-4)

Country Roads has now done exactly what was needed in order to lock up their 2nd seed in the playoffs. With bigger things on their mind - they have a week that means virtually nothing for them - they can not move from their spot. If they lose, they have a big enough lead that 2nd place in their division can catch them and if they win they can't catch the top seed - enjoy the stress free final week of the regular season. On the flip side, if HHM wins and both Hoosier Daddy and Gruden's Emails win - we have a tie in record for the top seed... guess who is currently leading the tie-breaker: Hernandez Hit Men.

Prediction: Country Roads... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... WRONG!!

Season: 49-42

Mystery Guest: 43-48

Bless

Commish

Week 13 Predictions

It is the 2nd to last week of the regular season... for some... this means nothing... for others... this means everything. There are multiple teams that are vying for spots in the playoffs and then there are a few teams that are fighting for the top seed. By now, many teams have been battered and beaten by injuries (The J-Bones, The Fortune Cockies) and yet others have excelled through the season (Gruden/Hoosier/HHM). Will we be able to close out the season in interesting fashion? Will one of the teams eliminated (Ankle/Fairy/Dixie) drag down a few teams and have them join the River of Styx?

I am just going to skip the pleasantries - we know what we came for. It is similar to taking a girl out on a date... do we really need to pretend to listen to all the bullsh*t about How Becky did this.... Becky did that... Can you believe the nerve of her to wear.... The barista got my order wrong... I found this really good sale yesterday... I got caught up binge watching....

Blah Blah Blah Blah.... we know why we are there - the horizontal dance. Let's skip the Griddy and get right to it....

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (6-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-6)

There is a lot riding on this matchup - some might even say.... everything is riding on this matchup. The winner of this matchup is going to make the playoffs, but the loser is going to need to win in the last to clench a spot without any help. The crazier part is... The J-Bones could swing from the possibility of missing the playoffs all the way to getting the 2-seed if things fall correctly in the last two weeks. BBB is facing some issues with the running backs and injuries (Cook/Swift) - this would be a huge hole in the lineup if neither one of them can play. Look for The J-Bones to take advantage of this and scoop up the win...

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

The Fortune Cockies (6-6) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

This is the week to feel good going against Ankle Holster - the only problem? TFC is not exactly sporting their best lineup. TFC has now lost Henry, Waller, and Hopkins for the majority of the season. Luckily they have a fighting chance if Hopkins can return - but it would more embarrassing to know that they lost to a team that might be facing the most drastic of bye week issues we have ever seen. Unless Ankle Holster drops players.... rough to see a Packers fan drop Packers players - they will not even be able to throw out a starting lineup. If TFC loses this week, it was never meant to be.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Church Vans (6-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-7)

Church Vans is heavily in the running of the playoff bulls and this week is extremely vital to their success. They throw out a two tight-end lineup that feature two TE's that would be ranked as the 9th and 17th best wide receivers. Which means, their starting lineup consists of 4 "receivers" in the top 20... OF ALL OF FANTASY!! That is going to be tough to compete against - not to mention that the injury to Swift has allowed for Williams to take over the lead back role. Church Vans is primed and ready to make a serious run to the playoffs and even deep into the bracket.

Prediction: Church Vans

Mystery Guest: Church Vans

Dixie Normous (4-8) v Gruden's Emails* (10-2)

Let's just keep this matchup simple.... Gruden's Emails has not lost since week 5 - do you really think I am going to just end a good thing? Nah baby nah.

Prediction: Gruden's Emails

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails

ARBL*** (5-7) v Hoosier Daddy** (9-3)

ARBL is the most explosive team we have in the league... either going to blow up in their own face or dominate the week. Just think, a team with 5-wins and 3 of those have been belt wins.... that is pretty much what it is going to take in order to take down Hoosier Daddy. Is there a hotter team than Hoosier Daddy at the moment? In the past 2 weeks, Hoosier Daddy has combined for over 300 points and a belt win. Not too mention, the lineup that Hoosier is throwing out there: Allen/Diggs, Ekeler, Hockenson, and Gibson has finally started taking over the Washington offense. It is going to take something special to take down Hoosier Daddy.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Belt Fairy* (3-9) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-7)

Talk about a real lackluster matchup we have here... Belt Fairy is at the bottom of the Gonorrhea division and PEN15 has scored the lost amount of points this week. This is pretty much a coin flip, but the season that started with so much promise for both of these teams will end if Belt Fairy grabs this win and officially knocks out PEN15. If Murray is able to finally return from injury and play this week - the advantage shifts towards Belt Fairy - hard to imagine he doesn't play coming off a bye.

Prediction: Belt Fairy

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy

Country Roads** (7-5) v Hernandez Hit Men* (9-3)

This is the powerhouse matchup of the week - a couple top tier teams battling it out. If it wasn't for two teams battling for a playoff spot this would be our MotW. The consistency of both of these lineups is only matched by a few other teams - but in this specific battle, Country Roads has a few more comfy matchups than HHM. Country Roads has players facing defenses like Atlanta, Detroit, NY Jets, Las Vegas, Dallas, etc. On the flip side, HHM is facing Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, San Francisco. When Country Roads wins, they will lock up the 2-seed with a large advantage in the points scored tie-breaker for anyone that could catch them in the final week.

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

Bless

Commish

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Ankle Holster, may your half of a lineup burn in fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 12 Results

Well, it looks like things have started to clear-up.... orrrrrr have they?? Hoosier Daddy is making a late season run for the top spot and doing so by scoring points in bunches. There is rumblings that Hoosier Daddy has often found himself near the top of the league in scoring, but has yet to ever actually win the regular season. There are some that would argue that winning the regular season is almost just as important in fantasy football.

On the flip side of the race, the cluster at 5-6 began to separate a little we are beginning to make sense of where we are at in the race. Let's check-in on the playoff push...

1) Gruden's Emails (100%): They will hold onto the top spot until they take a loss... in which case HHM or Hoosier could take over based on the points tie-breaker.

2) Hernandez Hit Men (100%): They are just waiting for the slip-up from Gruden... maybe leak an email or two and get him out of the way?!?

3) Hoosier Daddy (100%): The bottom end of the top 3 that have separated themselves from the rest of the pack.

4) Country Roads (100%): Even though they are sitting in 4th on the rankings... they are still holding on the 2-seed because they are the leader of the Gonorrhea division.

5) The Fortune Cockies (90%): Technically they are holding on the 8-seed, but they have the easiest remaining schedule of the 6-6 teams and could get all the way to 8-6.

6) Bluffton Backup Backups (86%): You could make the argument that they are 5th - which would give Chlamydia 4 of the top 5 spots... pretty lopsided divisions.

7) Church Vans (85%): They finish the year with Teardrop TDs and Hernandez Hit Men - some may argue one of the hardest closing stretches.

8) The J-Bones (80%): Of the teams that are 6-6, they have the hardest remaining matchups (BBB, Gruden's).

9) ARBL (50%): Not technically out of it and could easily make a run at squeaking in - but is going to need some help.

10) Teardrop TDs (40%): It was a big loss this week to TFC... but now they welcome back Lamb and Jackson and Chubb will have better weeks.

11) PEN15 Wrinkle (15%): Technically not out of it, but they will need help from other teams and they will need to score a TON of points to catchup for tie-breakers.

12) Dixie Normous (0%): Spoiler Alert: Gruden's Emails, Teardrop TDs

13) Belt Fairy (0%): Spoiler Alert: PEN15 Wrinkle, Hoosier Daddy

14) Ankle Holster (0%): Spoiler Alert: The Fortune Cockies, Country Roads

Matchup of the Week

Gruden's Emails* (10-2) v Country Roads** (7-5)

Wow.... is Gruden's Emails team really this good? Are we all just pawns in his world? Orrrrr did they just luck out this week? Country Roads needed 17 points between McLaurin and Sly on MNF... Sly got hurt on a blocked extra point and didn't return to the game and McLaurin had a so-so night. Sure Fournette had a huge week and put Country Roads in that position, but what happened to Hurts??? On the flip side, Mixon is playing like he is an elite RB and to be honest.... he really is. This is what happens when he doesn't get hurt - when healthy Mixon is a guy that can take over games. Gruden keeps winning and stays in the top spot.

Prediction: Country Roads... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Country Roads... WRONG!!

The Fortune Cockies (6-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-7)

It was ugly, on both ends - but eventually TFC was able to pull out the victory. It took Jackson and Chubb to combine for 15 and a hurt Lamb - but TFC barely skates by. You know the match up did not go well when the highest scoring player between both teams doesn't break 20 and only 3 players scored more than 15 points. Neither team looks overly dominate it is going to take a "Mr. Cooler" type run for either team to make some noise in the playoff push or even in the play-offs.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Teardrop TDs... WRONG!!

Church Vans (6-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-6)

This is a huge win for Church Vans and a big loss for BBB. BBB was coming off a tremendous 3-week stretch of utter dominance, and yet this week everything seem to fall apart. With Swift getting hurt early on in his game - there was not much that could be done. It also did not help that Goedert and Godwin both struggled to get anything going. On the flip side, this was a big win for Vans - they now move to the upper half of the cluster. Waddle had a big time game and everyone else was mediocre - but no one was atrocious. Vans would have finished in the top half of the league this week in points and is now going to try and keep the momentum going into the final two weeks.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups... WRONG!!

Dixie Normous (4-8) v Hoosier Daddy** (9-3)

Not only did Hoosier Daddy deliver the final nail in the coffin for Dixie Normous (eliminated) - they did so by winning the belt. At this point, if Hilliard continues to be the number one running back in Tennessee - this team has to be the odds on favorite to hoist "The Ron" at the end of the playoffs. On the flip side, we say good-bye to Dixie Normous and the number running back in the league Jonathan Taylor. Props to Taylor for keeping Dixie alive as long as he could - but it was not to be. They now have a chance to play spoiler with matchups Gruden's Emails (fighting for top seed) and Teardrop TDs (fighting for playoff spot).

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-7)

Although it is not completely over for Wrinkle - it is not looking good at all. The best they can do is 7-7 and they are losing pretty much every single tie-breaker because of their points scored. This was a needed win for either team and The J-Bones were able to pull it off. The future does not look promising for The J-Bones as CMC was seen leaving the stadium in a boot - but the bye week does help his recovery time. The J-Bones are sitting on the cluster, but will they be able to muster enough to make the playoffs in CMC misses extensive time?

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas*** (5-7) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

I don't think we have ever had a 3-time belt winner miss the playoffs - but it is looking more and more like that may happen. Without Mahomes and Hill this week, there was little to no shot for ARBL - and this is a big loss. Ankle Holster is already eliminated, but they will be playing spoiler and they are did their job this week - they will have another opportunity next week against The Fortune Cockies. They will have do so without the Green Bay Packers, which accounted for 75 points this week... but the backups are ready to go and it will not take much to beat a team that has only broken 100 points once in the past 5 weeks.

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Belt Fairy* (3-9) v Hernandez Hit Men* (9-3)

That has been the story for Belt Fairy all season long... so close, yet so far away. All that was needed was DK vs Lockett and the upset was going happen. Yet, as it has been all season long - DK looked forgotten in the offense and almost an afterthought. The upset wasn't meant to be and the only that Belt Fairy is playing for now is trying to finish with a better record than his brother. On the flip side, HHM is going to make the playoffs - he is competing for the regular season title and the 1 seed - can he finish out the year and build momentum going into the playoffs?

Prediction: Belt Fairy... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men... RIGHT!!

Season: 46-38

Mystery Guest: 39-45

Bless

Commish