Week 13 Predictions

It is the 2nd to last week of the regular season... for some... this means nothing... for others... this means everything. There are multiple teams that are vying for spots in the playoffs and then there are a few teams that are fighting for the top seed. By now, many teams have been battered and beaten by injuries (The J-Bones, The Fortune Cockies) and yet others have excelled through the season (Gruden/Hoosier/HHM). Will we be able to close out the season in interesting fashion? Will one of the teams eliminated (Ankle/Fairy/Dixie) drag down a few teams and have them join the River of Styx?

I am just going to skip the pleasantries - we know what we came for. It is similar to taking a girl out on a date... do we really need to pretend to listen to all the bullsh*t about How Becky did this.... Becky did that... Can you believe the nerve of her to wear.... The barista got my order wrong... I found this really good sale yesterday... I got caught up binge watching....

Blah Blah Blah Blah.... we know why we are there - the horizontal dance. Let's skip the Griddy and get right to it....

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (6-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups** (6-6)

There is a lot riding on this matchup - some might even say.... everything is riding on this matchup. The winner of this matchup is going to make the playoffs, but the loser is going to need to win in the last to clench a spot without any help. The crazier part is... The J-Bones could swing from the possibility of missing the playoffs all the way to getting the 2-seed if things fall correctly in the last two weeks. BBB is facing some issues with the running backs and injuries (Cook/Swift) - this would be a huge hole in the lineup if neither one of them can play. Look for The J-Bones to take advantage of this and scoop up the win...

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups

The Fortune Cockies (6-6) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

This is the week to feel good going against Ankle Holster - the only problem? TFC is not exactly sporting their best lineup. TFC has now lost Henry, Waller, and Hopkins for the majority of the season. Luckily they have a fighting chance if Hopkins can return - but it would more embarrassing to know that they lost to a team that might be facing the most drastic of bye week issues we have ever seen. Unless Ankle Holster drops players.... rough to see a Packers fan drop Packers players - they will not even be able to throw out a starting lineup. If TFC loses this week, it was never meant to be.

Prediction: The Fortune Cockies

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Church Vans (6-6) v Teardrop TDs (5-7)

Church Vans is heavily in the running of the playoff bulls and this week is extremely vital to their success. They throw out a two tight-end lineup that feature two TE's that would be ranked as the 9th and 17th best wide receivers. Which means, their starting lineup consists of 4 "receivers" in the top 20... OF ALL OF FANTASY!! That is going to be tough to compete against - not to mention that the injury to Swift has allowed for Williams to take over the lead back role. Church Vans is primed and ready to make a serious run to the playoffs and even deep into the bracket.

Prediction: Church Vans

Mystery Guest: Church Vans

Dixie Normous (4-8) v Gruden's Emails* (10-2)

Let's just keep this matchup simple.... Gruden's Emails has not lost since week 5 - do you really think I am going to just end a good thing? Nah baby nah.

Prediction: Gruden's Emails

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Emails

ARBL*** (5-7) v Hoosier Daddy** (9-3)

ARBL is the most explosive team we have in the league... either going to blow up in their own face or dominate the week. Just think, a team with 5-wins and 3 of those have been belt wins.... that is pretty much what it is going to take in order to take down Hoosier Daddy. Is there a hotter team than Hoosier Daddy at the moment? In the past 2 weeks, Hoosier Daddy has combined for over 300 points and a belt win. Not too mention, the lineup that Hoosier is throwing out there: Allen/Diggs, Ekeler, Hockenson, and Gibson has finally started taking over the Washington offense. It is going to take something special to take down Hoosier Daddy.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Belt Fairy* (3-9) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-7)

Talk about a real lackluster matchup we have here... Belt Fairy is at the bottom of the Gonorrhea division and PEN15 has scored the lost amount of points this week. This is pretty much a coin flip, but the season that started with so much promise for both of these teams will end if Belt Fairy grabs this win and officially knocks out PEN15. If Murray is able to finally return from injury and play this week - the advantage shifts towards Belt Fairy - hard to imagine he doesn't play coming off a bye.

Prediction: Belt Fairy

Mystery Guest: Belt Fairy

Country Roads** (7-5) v Hernandez Hit Men* (9-3)

This is the powerhouse matchup of the week - a couple top tier teams battling it out. If it wasn't for two teams battling for a playoff spot this would be our MotW. The consistency of both of these lineups is only matched by a few other teams - but in this specific battle, Country Roads has a few more comfy matchups than HHM. Country Roads has players facing defenses like Atlanta, Detroit, NY Jets, Las Vegas, Dallas, etc. On the flip side, HHM is facing Tampa Bay, Pittsburgh, San Francisco. When Country Roads wins, they will lock up the 2-seed with a large advantage in the points scored tie-breaker for anyone that could catch them in the final week.

Prediction: Country Roads

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men

Bless

Commish

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you Ankle Holster, may your half of a lineup burn in fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!