When I was younger, I did a lot of dumb things. Sometimes they turned out great and it was an awesome adventure. Sometimes they failed miserably and I ended up hurt or questioning my life decisions. Sometimes they were suppose to fail... but somehow - no one got hurt. Welcome to Adam's childhood...
A) We had this exchange student, Igor Berozin (no clue how to spell his last name). He was from Ukraine and he was a very weird dude. We are talking - no peeling any fruit before he eats weird. He stayed in a room in the basement, which had drop ceilings. One night, my brother and I go to the basement and climb in the ceiling and slowly make our way to Igor's room. We move towards where we thought he would be and we were going give him a little, "Welcome to America B*tch" greeting. Nope, this creeper was awake and waiting and to this day I will never forget him yelling at my brother in a mix of Russian (possibly) and English, "Ben - if you come down here I will break both your legs." Things should have gone terribly wrong from there... but we crawled away as little American b*tchboys do and no one go hurt and all parties moved on.
I call this the Ertz when Eifert/Cleveland Streamers/Love Hurts/PEN15 Wrinkle. Each of these teams either squeak out wins or hate their team or deal with injuries... yet somehow they still find ways to get wins and stay in the hunt.
B) This one time I was in college and I was enjoying some night time activities. If you didn't know, Huntington University is a dry campus - but that doesn't stop anyone. A past time favorite of mine was to get with some bros and head to the baseball field - jump the fence and play a midnight wiffle ball. Drinks were flowing and everyone was having a jolly good time. Especially me, because I suck at wiffle ball - but I was very good at drinking. As the night winded down we started to make our way back to the apartments - to this day, I have no clue how I got lost... but I somehow separated from the group. I walk into what I thought was my apartment.... wrong. A lovely misses walks out - I scare her half to death, then her roommates come out. I invite my friends over and we have a little nightcap with the ladies. I ended the night with another kind of a nightcap... hey oh
I call this The J-Bones/MAYEday/Cocaine Cowboys.... it wasn't suppose to work - but somehow it is. Now I know that two of these teams lost this week, but they are all in the hunt for the playoffs and there were issues/questions about their lineups from the beginning. Yet, somehow they have manage stuff the esophagus of lovely, innocent blondie.
C) When I was a sophomore in high school my brother and I had this genius idea to build a zipline across our pond. So we started by climbing about 25 feet up in our tree and we built a platform - using a bowling pin as our hammer. Then we take five or so different ropes and tie them together... we didn't have rope long enough to go across our pond. We tie one end in the tree and one end to a Gatorade bottle that we slam shut in the back of a car and we drive the car to the other side of the pond. I then climb up to the platform take some bicycle hand bars that I found in the garage and flip them over the rope and jump. In hindsight, you would think there would be some sort of testing prior to a human subject - NOPE! The rope snaps, I plummet 25 feet through a tree and somehow manage to land feet first. Not to worry - I still paid dearly for this... broke my thumb/fractured my hand/high ankle sprain (don't know how it didn't break) and my brother thought he just watched my die.
I call this Connor's Stalions/The J-Bones 2.0/Bootay Pirates/ARBL/Ankle Holster.... started off hot, but now what? Stalions team is in a downward spiral and quick. The J-Bones 2.0 are not far behind in that spiral. I am not sure there was ever an up for Bootay... but the down has been enjoyable to watch! ARBL has had injury issues, but nonetheless the spiral has hit hard. Ankle Holster already has a bum ankle, so I thought they would fit perfectly - plus they are going to have to pay Heat Hicks entry fee!
D) So I am dating this girl in college - she is wayyyyy out of my league. Her name is Amy and somehow I need to hatch a plan to trap her, because ain't no way I am ever going to pull someone like this and manage to get her to enjoy suppertime pleasantries in my firetruck bed. Yes, in college I found this toddler firetruck bedframe that put in my apartment and slept in it on the floor of my room. So what do I do? I come up with a plan.... I am going to get this girl pregnant and she will never me. Bang, bang two kids later and now I don't have to make dinner for the rest of my life.
Clearly joking... or am I? But it is nice when a plan comes together, right Heat Hicks/Pendulous TD's... when you hold out on a player and then they come back and you get a nice win. Nothing feels better... especially when you are in the playoff hunt and you needed that player at just the right time.
Week 10 Results
Matchup of the Week
Ertz when Eifert (8-2) v The J-Bones 2.0 (5-5)
Truthfully, I had to go back and look at the blog from last week - I could not believe my eyes. I had to double check the text from the Mystery Guest... it truly doesn't make sense. I actually picked Ertz to win... but I have been dogging on them for the past couple weeks. In fact, if you reread the write-up - you would think I picked J-Bones 2.0.... nope I picked Ertz. And what do you know? They play a team that scores the 2nd fewest points and they score the 4th fewest... a win is a win - but come on man! I bet next week, they come out and score 150 points!
Predicktion: Ertz when Eifert.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones 2.0... WRONG!!
Heat Hicks (4-6) v Ankle Holster (7-3)
Was there ever a doubt? Honestly, I am shocked that the Mystery Guest picked Ankle Holster... we are talking about the highest point total against the lowest point total, just an all around beatdown. Not to mention that Bijan went for nearly 30 and moved into the top 3 RB's in the league - which we know what that means! The next couple weeks will be a big tell for how the cookie is going to crumble with Puka and Bijan dealing with their bye-weeks.
Predicktions: Heat Hicks... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!
Connor's Stalions (6-4) v Cleveland Streamers (6-4)
When you have Bowers/Collins/Robinson Jr. all on the bench (did not play) - it is going to be a rough week. On the flip side, it is crazy to look at Streamers lineup and see Tracy and Brown at running back. There is no way that at the beginning of the season you would have ever projected this duo to be in a starting lineup and finishing 3rd and 13th. Stalions needs to get something fixed... they need to realistically get two more wins to really feel good about making the playoffs. Streamers is a sneaky hot team... winning the second most in a row.
Predicktion: Connor's Stalions... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... RIGHT!!
The J-Bones (5-5) v MAYEday (4-6)
You know what is crazy? MAYE won by 10 points and had Chase that scored 55 points. That ratio is not great for elongated success. It worked this week, and you can take it one week at a time - but you definitely can not count on that every week. On the flip side, this a tough loss for The J-Bones - to go against one the best individual performances in the history of the league and still have a chance to win is crazy. You would almost rather get blown out!
Predicktion: The J-Bones... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!
Bootay Pirates (3-6) v Pendulous TD's (4-6)
It has to be nice to welcome back CMC - who had a mediocre game, but still managed to score 16 points - and that is what he does for you! Everybody thought that Burrow had an amazing game on TNF (which he did) but Hurts only lost to him by 4 points... in my opinion if I could have any QB for fantasy football it would Jalen Hurts - in fact, if Bootay Pirates does happen to actually participate in the league... send me a trade with him... let's make something work!
Predicktion: Pendulous TD's... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!
Love Hurts (5-5) v Cocaine Cowboys (6-4)
The run wasn't going to last forever, was it? Just didn't see it ending this week, after Lamar had that game on TNF. Even crazier is that Bills defense was Love Hurts 2nd highest scorer... next to Austin Ekeler?!?!? Also, those two combined narrowly beat Lamar... by himself. Yet, somehow the rest of Cocaine's team could not put anything together. The QB debacle continues is Love can not stay healthy after this bye-week... then you are stuck gambling between Tua and Wilson. On the flip side, Cocaine is trying to figure out which combination of pass-catchers to go with.
Predicktion: Cocaine Cowboys... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... WRONG!!
ARBL (3-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-6)
Shame on me for thinking ARBL would have something going... shame on me. On the plus side, the fantasy team ABRL could probably beat the Cowboys in a backyard flag football battle... maybe? PEN15 is probably not super pleased that CMC is back (or is he), at least in the terms of fantasy. CMC being back realistically destroys Mason's value. Still got the win this week and still keep the playoff hopes alive!
Predicktion: ARBL... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!
With Love
Commish
Season Predicktions: 32-31
Mystery Guest: 33-30
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