Week 11 Results

A calf cavern

A massage for the lowers

A blanket for the piggies

A foot vagina

All these are what I like to refer to a brand new pair of socks. When you slide that puppy over the foot and you feel the fresh cotton on your skin.... ohhhhhhhhhhh baby - I am gonna need a minute. I might just start a softcore Feet Finder and have it be feet putting on new pairs of socks. It would be like normal porn playing backwards... a real psyche job for the brain.

Everyone has them... weird things that they do to help soothe their brains. Mine is socks and jerking my rocks... a certain manager in the league really loves to fluff his clothing. What a straight-up Hallmark card gayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Some managers in here turn to libations to ease the pain... either way, when you face a terrible defeat - you gotta soothe away the pain.

Matchup of the Week

Ertz when Eifert (9-2) v Heat Hicks (4-7)

It is not surprising to see Ertz have a big week... but a belt win?!?!? It always rings true... I will talk trash about a team and then when I play them, they have their best week. Ertz remains solely in 1st place and will look to hold onto it as they face the Bootay Pirates next week. On the flip side, this was not a good week for Heat Hicks, they take a loss and now drop outside of the playoff push - but there is a hodge podge at the bottom. It will be a good finish to the season if they win these next two weeks and make the last week worthwhile.

Prediction: Heat Hicks.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Heat Hicks... WRONG!!

Cleveland Streamers (7-4) v Love Hurts (5-6)

I mean this with all due respect... Cleveland Streamers is a team that you look at and you wonder, "How is this team winning?" But it seems like they come out on top more often than not, they are still technically in the chase for the 1 seed. Multiple players are returning from their bye week and they looked primed and ready to go for the final push. On the flip side, Love Hurts is left wondering what to do. It is never a good sign when your kicker is your leading scorer - even if they score 24 points.

Prediction: Love Hurts... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Love Hurts... WRONG!!

MAYEday (5-6) v The J-Bones 2.0 (5-6)

It is amazing to see a lineup consisting of Barkley and Kamara and they still lose. However, Chase and Jennings more than made up that difference. This week was just a good overall performance and one that should put fear into some of the top seeds. MAYEday is poised to get into the playoffs and as it stands, the past two weeks they are averaging over 130 points - not good for their next opponent (you guessed it, me). On the flip side, JB 2.0 needs to find help outside of Barkley and Kamara. Maybe make a swing for a Wide Receiver - the time to win is now.

Prediction: The J-Bones 2.0.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: MAYEday... RIGHT!!

Cocaine Cowboys (7-4) v Bootay Pirates (3-8)

There are no words other than - you can only beat who you face and it doesn't matter by how much.

Prediction: Bootay Pirates.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys... RIGHT!!

Pendulous TD's (5-6) v ARBL (3-8)

It comes to the point now, where you just kick the can and call it a season. They are still technically alive and they could make it to the playoffs by winning out and then getting some help from a few other teams. On the flip side, Pendulous looks like they are beginning to figure it out. Achane and CMC make for a terrific duo at the RB position and Burrow is getting going with the Bengals. Truthfully, there is not a lot missing from the team... look out league!

Prediction: Pendulous TD's... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Pendulous TD's... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (7-4) v The J-Bones (6-5)

What a matchup we have here.... a difference of exactly 1 point. Insane. Both teams had players in the Sunday Night Football game... but Herbert came away with the better performance and was able to lock up a key win for The J-Bones. On the flip side, Breece Hall had a huge week and narrowed the gap between him and Bijan. The J-Bones is now one win away from reaching that crucial 7-win mark, which is usually a good sign for making the palyoffs.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (4-7) v Connor's Stalions (7-4)

Welllllllllll if Brock Bowers isn't just a good little TE. It helps that he plays for an awful team and they will always need to throw the ball - but my goodness, that boy can make plays happen. Now, you want to talk about making plays happen... ARSB is another one of those dawgs. Which means Stalions had the highest scoring player of the week (ARSB) and the 4th highest (Bowers)... probably not a good sign for Wrinkle. A worse sign? They only scored 81 points... this is the playoff push - you gotta bring your "A" game!

Prediction: Connor's Stalions... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Connor's Stalions... RIGHT!!

With Love,

Commish

Season Predictions: 35-35

Mystery Guest: 37-33