Week 2 Predicktions

I am not going to lie to you, I am starting to write this during my lovely Wednesday morning meeting - anyone else enjoy their team meetings as much as I do? Just a list of successes that I have accomplished today....

A) Turned off a blaring alarm in Thompson's office - no clue why it was going off

B) Words spoken out-loud: 0 (my most proud accomplishment)

C) I have looked up from my screen a few times, does that count as paying attention?

D) Squeaked out a few stank bombs without anyone noticing... sorry 'bout ya back row!

Things that could have truly been accomplished in the same amount of time as this meeting that involved a lot talking and not a lot of doing....

A) The creation of 3 babies... maybe even 4 or 5

B) A quick game of chess while losing some weight on the porcelain toilet

C) Our famed biology teacher might be able to run 1 mile.... but that is going to be close

D) You could always rewatch the "My Year" video a few times

Options... this world is full of options. Enough rambling, let's get to why you are here....

Matchup of the Week
*Slender TD's (1-0) v Nips and Salsa (1-0)

Key Matchup: Derrick Henry v Jahmyr Gibbs... this is the current number 1 RB (Henry) against last year's number 1 RB (Gibbs). This week Henry goes against a much tougher Cleveland defense, which held a powerful Cincy offense in check for most of the game. The plus side for Henry - he shredded the Buffalo Bills and looked like he was 22 again. Also, I heard on a podcast the other day that Henry still has more rushing yards in high school then he does in the NFL. You tracking that? More yards in 4 years of high school than in 9 years of the NFL. Gibbs is good.

Slender X-Factor: Engram/Dobbins... this Denver duo is playing against the Indianapolis defense. A couple of shocking things happened last week... Denver looked out of sorts on offense and Indy looked on point on defense. What we don't know is if those things are true or if they were just rust/fallacies of a week 1 showing. How Engram and Dobbins respond in week 2 will not only be crucial for the Denver offense, but also how deep this Slender lineup actually goes.

Nips X-Factor: Jameson Williams... the Detroit offense as a whole looked awful last week. Which makes one of two things correct; Ben Johnson made the Lions what they were or the Green Bay Packers have a legit defense with Micah Parsons. Either way, Jameson Williams could be a key factor to jump starting the offense - he is a legitimate deep threat receiver and he can space the field for other playmakers. However, it doesn't work if the Lions don't have time for him to develop downfield. 

Prediction: Nips and Salsa

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's.... "I like Titties.... the team name is off-putting, but titties for the win"

2AP (0-1) v Bootay Pirates (1-0)

Key Matchup: Josh Allen v Justin Herbert.... is this the battle of the top white QB's? Chargers took on the Chiefs last week and Herbert outplayed Mahomes. Josh Allen is so good at football... he may as well be black. These QB's will now be duking it out on the Fantasy field and I am looking forward to seeing who takes the crown for baddest white boi under center.

2AP X-Factor: Ja'Marr Chase... just call it what it is.... Chase needs to play better. Now, it isn't every week that he will go against Cleveland's defense... so we are safe to assume that everything will revert back to normal for the number 1 pick in fantasy. Look for Chase to have a big week and reclaim his crown as the top wideout.

Bootay X-Factor: Travis Kelce... You might call him old. You might call him long-toothed. You could also call him Taylor Swift's b*tch. Either way, the man needs to have a big game. Xavier Worthy is out for the foreseeable future and the KC offense will be relying on Kelce and Hollywood Brown for the next few weeks. Kelce could lead all TE's if he is able to get into the endzone.

Prediction: 2AP

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... "Pirates by a mile.... but it really it will be close"

Cleveland Streamers (1-0) v Cocaine Cowboys (1-0)

Key Matchup: Denver v Rams.... I know, I know, it is a defense battle and that is kind of boring for a Key Matchup. However, hear me out.... Denver DEF scored 16 points last week; which would place them as the 16th QB, 13th RB, 20th TE, 1st TE. Essentially, Denver DEF would be a playable roster spot anywhere. Who did Denver play in week 1? Tennessee. Who do the Rams play in week 2? Los Angeles Rams.

Streamer X-Factor: Justin Fields... Fields is a scrambling QB that resembles none other than Lamar Jackson. The NY Jets offense has a stud wide receiver, stud running back, and a scrambling QB. So does the Baltimore offense. Fields is playing the same team that Baltimore played last week. That either means that Fields could have a big day orrrrrrr Buffalo had a practice round and should be more prepared - this is going to be a big tell for how this matchup plays out.

Cowboys X-Factor: DK Metcalf... DK is on his revenge tour this week. He is now playing his former team and will be looking to make a statement. Nobody knows more about a statement being made more than Aaron Rodgers (who just made a revenge statement in week 1). Look for this team to try and feed DK and allow him to make some plays against his former team.

Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys

Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... "Better name, Better players, Better man"

The J-Bones (0-1) v 1st Downs Syndrome (1-0)

Key Matchup: Johnathan Taylor v CMC... a couple stud running backs that are going to be battling it out for being a top running back each week. CMC is currently healthy and when he is healthy - he is the top running back in the league. How long until he isn't healthy? Nobody knows, but he is healthy now. Taylor is a stud and if the Indy offense stay hot like it was in week1... he is going to have plenty of opportunity to put up some big points.

J-Bones X-Factor: Kenneth Walker III... it was very odd seeing Seattle become a complete timeshare and even ceding more carries to a nice glass of Charbonnett. KWIII needs to return to the powerhouse that he was last year (before injury). He may still be dealing with injury or Seattle may be wanting to save the backs for a late playoff push. Either way, KWIII needs to see some more opportunities and need to see some of those opportunities around the endzone.

Downs X-Factor: Jayden Daniels... Jayden was labeled as the "Poor Man's Lamar" last season aaaaannnnndddd then he was no longer the "Poor Man's." Jayden is a fantasy football stud - scrambling QB that is also comfortable throwing the ball. It actually might be what is to come with the new generation of QB's - QB's who can make any throw, but also can run and make plays with their legs. Daniels has a tough matchup with a tough Green Bay, which may require Daniels to run a little more.

Prediction: 1 Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... "Downs by a bunch. May be playing the worst team in the league"

AR Fingers (0-1) v Deez Lutz (0-1)

Key Matchup/X-Factors: I am going to couple everything into one summation for this matchup. These two teams are 2 of the bottom 4 scoring teams in week one. These teams are also both projected to finish in the top 5 teams this week - in fact, they make the highest projected matchup scoring wise between the two teams. Soooooo essentially, these teams need to either figure their sh*t out - because scoring 30-40 points under the projections just ain't gonna get it done. This is my pep talk to your teams.... 

Prediction: Anthony Richardson's Finger

Mystery Guest: AR Finger.... "Two bad teams, but someone has to win. Bo Nix makes the difference"

ARBL (0-1) v Project Tush Push (0-1)

Key Matchup: Saquon Barkley v Ashton Jeanty... Last year's rushing champion vs this year's ROTY favorite. Jeanty found the endzone in week 1 and Barkley found the endzone in week 1. Jeanty had 19 carries in week 1 and Barkley had 18 carries in week 1. Jeanty and Barkley will be given roughly the same amount of opportunity... who will take advantage of the opportunities?

ARBL X-Factor: Lamar/Zay Connection... things could not have gone much better for this duo (outside of not winning the game) in week 1. Cleveland should pose a much tougher test and it will be a good tell for this Baltimore team. Fantasy wise, they would love to see the same connection ignite - but they definitely want to avoid being the 2025 Cincinnati Bengals and lose games scoring 40 points a game. ARBL don't care... lose them all - just keep scoring 40!

Tush X-Factor: Matthew Golden... a projected stud at wide receiver. The game script did not lend toward Golden's fantasy output being a postiive outlook. Green Bay was manhandling Detroit and they game plan seemed to be more suited towards keep the ball out of Goff's hands. Golden does look good, his issue is going to be which WR is going to be the stallion in a busy stable. 

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest: ARBL... "Lloyd is finally focused. Post nut clarity is a real thing."

Barely Even Know Her (0-1) v Ertz/Eifert (1-0)

Key Matchup: Burrow v Baker.... If Herbert v Allen is the top battle for the best white QB in the league.... Burrow v Baker is not that far behind. Just imagine what I just typed... Baker Mayfield is now in an argument for being one the top white QB's in the league. Baker Mayfield. The same Baker that ran from the cops while handcuffed in Oklahoma. The same Baker that might be more famous his commercials than his football during his time in Cleveland. Eff it... give me the gapped toothed warrior - this guy sounds awesome!

BEKH X-Factor: Emeka Egbuka... ironic that BEKH's x-factor is reliant on Ertz/Eifert's QB to throw him the ball. What a wacky world we live in.

Ertz/Eifert X-Factor: Chase Brown... ironic that Ertz/Eifert's x-factor is reliant on BEKH's QB to hand him the ball. What a wacky world we live in.

Prediction: Barely Even Know Her

Mystery Guest: Barely Even Know Her... "Best matchup of the week. Better QB"

With Love

Commish 

Week 1 Results

If you don't know by now, I have two kids - a boy who thinks like I think and a girl who acts like me... neither of which are super desirable traits. Every so often, we tend to get along and do some family "things" - ritual sacrifices, zoot palace, Jungle Book tree climbing, fridge hopping, and our all-time favorite yard pooping.

Don't. Knock. It. Till. You've. Tried. It.

Well, one day (when they were little) we were watching this Disney movie, Zombies. If you haven't seen it, it is a lovely flick about a town that hates zombies, but they are allowed in the public school, one joins the football team, does really well, makes a cheerleader fall in love with him, yada yada yada - it is essentially Remember The Titans only they have upgraded the black characters to zombies.

Anyways, amidst my wanting to blow my brains out while this movie is taking place - a phenomenon happens. A song plays, that is corny as hell, but I believe the song applies to about half the teams so far (more specifically my team)...

I trust that you watched the whole video... Odds for who watched the whole video are as follows...

Atkins: 2 to 3 - naturally, I even know the dance

Lloyd: 2 to 1 - I expect to know the dance by Sunday

Kunkel: 5 to 1 - younger kids, a couple girls - you just never with a girl dad

Bebout: 9 to 1 - I think he would make his entire 8th grade class sit and watch this gem

Koty: 4 to 1 - new guy, probably thinks that nothing should be skipped

Taylor: 5 to 1 - odds would be lower, but always seems like he has too much sh*t that needs done

Abbett: 4 to 1 - seems like the kind of guy, who hates to stop halfway through videos

Baxter: 7 to 1 - seems like the guy that would watch this and learn the dance with his wife, but she is out of commission for a while

Schwartz: 11 to 1 - odds are boosted higher because it is tennis season and he could care less right now

Vandy: 3 to 1 - there has to be some kind of allegory in here that you could use in class

Ribich: 5 to 1 - he might have to check the videos all the way through for anything that needs turned in

Linton: 2 to 3 - he has already seen the movie and is a Zombie groupie

Grieser/Price: 1000 to 1 - both of these two probably don't even know that the blog is a thing

So yes... this is MY YEAR! Let me just explain... do you know the last time a fantasy team with some form of cock in its name won week 1? 2020. You know the last time that same team beat The J-Bones in week 1? Never. The past 4 week 1 matchups have been against The J-Bones... and every time The J-Bones have won. UNTIL NOW.... this is MY YEAR!!

Matchup of the Week
Nips and Salsa (1-0) v The J-Bones (0-1)

Let's be honest, not the best showing from The J-Bones... lost the Key Matchup, X-Factors combined for under 15 points as a stack, and was lowest scoring team in the league this week. The bright side? It is only week 1... and the Colts won! On the flip side, Sutton won the Key Matchup, and Nips' X-Factor only had 6.6 points - which leaves room for some big improvement. Call it what you want (lucky opponent), but chalk that one up for the Nips!

Predicktion: Nips and Salsa... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: J-Bones... WRONG!!

Cleveland Streamers (1-0) v 2AP (0-1)

This turned out much closer than it looked like it was going to be, thanks to Josh Allen's 4th quarter heroics... but it almost looked lost for the Steamers, until JJ McCarthy remembered how to play football. In the Key Matchup, LaPorta edged out Kittle - but Kittle was sidelined due to an injury in the game. The even worse part? Kittle is going to be out for 3-5 weeks... leaving a big hole in the lineup. The X-Factor for 2AP was Chuba and he stepped up - but who would have thought that Chase would struggle as bad as he did. If you had to finger point, not that it is a good thing - but there are many fingers pointing at Mr. Chase and his 2 receptions. I mean, it isn't like Jefferson lit it up on the other side, but he did outscore Chase by 10 points... maybe Chase wasn't the play with the number 1 overall pick.

Predicktion: 2AP... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: 2AP... WRONG!!

*Slender TD's (1-0) v AR's Finger (0-1)

What a belt worthy performance! Breece Hall won the Key Matchup against Jaylen Warren, and Marvin Harrison Jr outscored his projection. Even crazier? Slender had -7 points from their defense and still won the belt this week? On the flip side, who would have thought that Bo Nix would look like that in week 1 against the Titans?!?!? Painful, just downright painful. ARF had only player out score their projection... and TD's had 2 play not reach their projections. A recipe for disaster...

Predicktion: AR Finger... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... RIGHT!!

Bootay Pirates (1-0) v ARBL (0-1)

You know, there might be something to not coming to the draft party... the two highest scoring teams are the longest standing members to not show up to the draft party - what the f*ck? Kelce won the Key Matchup and Garrett Wilson had a big game for the NY Jets (against the Pittsburgh defense, might I add). Not to mention that Justin Herbert looked more Patrick Mahomes than Patrick Mahomes did. Everything was rolling for Bootay this week... and truthfully, it was rolling for ARBL. ARBL scored the 3rd highest points this week and is still taking the loss. You want to know how you prevent that? You score the highest!

Predicktion: ARBL... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... RIGHT!!

Cocaine Cowboys (1-0) v BEKH (0-1)

What do the fantasy football Cowboys and the Indianapolis Colts have in common? They win games using cocaine as motivation. Don't believe me? The Colts won week 1... handily... thanks to celebrating their former late owner Jim "Cocaine" Irsay. The C. Cowboys lineup is listed with known coke addicts... Jared Goff? He talks about it on the Quarterback show on Netflix. Trey McBride? We all know you can't play TE in the NFL without a little coke before the game. Alvin Kamara has his septum pierce... I mean, he might as well just tell the entire world. And do I really need to get into the copious amounts of cocaine that the nostrils of DK Metcalf has consumed?!?!?

Predicktion: BEKH... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: BEKH... WRONG!!

1st Downs Syndrome (1-0) v Tush Push (0-1)

If you name your team name Tush Push... Jalen Hurts better have a good season. Oh trust me, he started strong - his usual ways of 2 rushing touchdowns. After that? Swing and miss. Matthew Golden looked good on the opening drive, but then J. Love spread the ball around and the Packers didn't need much offensive work to be done that day. The Tush Push is going to need to have more help throughout the lineup... on the flip side, CMC is healthy (for now) and hopefully he can stay that way. J. Daniels is going to put together a stat line this is always similar to what he did in week 1, give or take a few touchdowns. The big thing for Syndrome is whether or not CMC can stay healthy all season long.

Predicktion: 1 Downs Syndrome... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... WRONG!!

Deez Lutz (0-1) v Ertz when Eifert (1-0)

Some might say that this explanation is short because it is the last one. Some might say that this explanation is short because I want to go to lunch. Some might even say that this explanation is short because neither of these two frequent the wall in the afternoon. I saw it is short because this is a shitty example of what fantasy football should look like in week 1.

Predicktion: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

With Love

Commish

Season Total: 3-4

Mystery Total: 3-4

Week 1 Predicktions

If you are new here, get ready for a whole new world of information coming your way. Some fantasy leagues have snakes and sparklers, but your pretty booty that we got the Whisker Do's and Whisker Don'ts...

If you take offense to anything that I have said/will say/or even may be thinking... then let me stop you now - this is the wrong place for you. I will proceed to sh*t talk your entire team, fantasy decisions, and possibly your personal life - so this is your warning. By the way, I am greatest fantasy team manager to never f*cking win this thing and this year is MY YEAR!!

Matchup of the Week
The J-Bones v C.S. and Cocks

Key Matchup: Courtland Sutton v Kenneth Walker III

Why? This sh*t talk on my Sutton is crazy, especially by this specific manager. Let's not forget that nothing has really changed in Denver; same QB, same head coach, outside of hiring Davis Webb to offensive coordinator. You know what he did prior? Played QB - you bet he wants to slang b*tch all over the field. All that being said, I am really high on Kenneth... he is probably taking this matchup.

J-Bones X-Factor: Stroud/Nico combo... they have the LA Rams this week - and this is not the same Rams defense that had Ramsey and Donald wrecking offenses. They are prime for the picking and these two could have a field day against this secondary - in many lists they are ranked in the bottom 7 secondaries in the league.

C.S.C X-Factor: Jameson Williams... he flashed big play potential last year and is the Lions downfield threat. If they can connect on some bombs, Williams could put up big points. On the flip side, he also had 3 or less receptions in 6 different relevant games. If he scores big, I love C.S.C.'s chances.

Prediction: Chips, Salsa and Cocks

Mystery Guest Input: Dak not a winner, team cancer.... J-Bones win.

Cleveland Steamers v 2 A.P.

Key Matchup: Kittle v LaPorta

Why? These two are strong candidates for top 3 at the TE position. They will be heavily compared throughout the season. Kittle might be the most fun TE to watch play football and he can put up numbers. If you haven't watched the Netflix series "Receiver" - I highly recommend it. On the flip side, LaPorta saw a dip in numbers last year (especially early on), then he had a great end to the season. If he continues from where he left off at the end of the season, this is going to be a great matchup to see who takes this battle.

2AP X-Factor: Chuba Hubbard... the only RB in this matchup projected for more than 15 points and if he can really separate himself from the others - it will really help AP's chances to get a win early in the season. He gets to play a terrible Jacksonville defensive line and Carolina will need him to play well. If he can get over 100 all-purpose yards, there could be major separation between him and the others.

Steamers X-Factor: Justin Jefferson... the obvious pick for Key Matchup would have been Jefferson v Chase... but I saved him for the X-Factor. The big question for Jefferson - is McCarthy ready? If he is, then he will need to lean on Jefferson in this big matchup against the Chicago Bears. Jefferson should see 10+ targets, and we all know what he can do when the ball is anywhere within range.

Prediction: 2 A.P.

Mystery Guest Input: Bluffton Tigers going in the right direction - head coach's life is currently a fantasy and he can't lose... 2 A.P. win

Slender TDs v AR Finger

Key Matchup: Breece Hall v Jaylen Warren

Why? Both of these RB's are the 2nd starting RB on their respective teams and both happen to be playing each other. Both RB's also have new QB's running the show... Warren's QB happens to be the last Jets QB. Just so much in common with these two... ever done any research on the Lincoln/Kennedy conspiracy? I highly recommend it - these two are intertwined for this first week matchup.

Slender X-Factor: Marvin Harrison Jr.... this is a big year for the sophomore wideout. Who doesn't love a midget who prefers to run the ball and throw it to his TE as their QB? However, in every game the MHJ had more than 5 receptions - he scored 15 or more fantasy points. New Orleans has a spotty secondary and this could be a big week for the wideout.

ARF X-Factor: Malik Nabers... hey look, it is another sophomore wideout! Nabers was a stud last year... will Mr. Unlimited continue to look his way? I surely hope so - he is probably the most talented offensive player the Giants have. Washington has a middle of the pack secondary, but they are near the bottom in total defense ranking - could be a fun day for Nabers.

Prediction: A.R. Finger

Mystery Guest Input: The rookie GM doesn't get a chance to lock up his first win for the league, maybe next week... maybe not.... Slender TD's win

Bootay Pirates v ARBL

Key Matchup: David Njoku v Travis Kelce

Why? There is a lot of hype surrounding Kelce... but is he focused on football or a blonde-haired siren? Kelce is now 35 and at some point, he has to slow down... doesn't he? Or does he? The LAC don't represent a tough matchup for him and Mahomes may look his way often. However, Njoku is playing against the worst defense there was last year (Cincy). Njoku is one of the TE that is not often talked about, but can definitely reach the upper echelon of performance. Don't count out the chief - this is going to be a close battle at TE.

Bootay X-Factor: Garrett Wilson... we all know that Pitt's defense is going to be tough. The Steelers won a majority of their games solely because of their defense and the happen to acquire through trade of the elite CB's in the game. Wilson will be reliant on Fields to throw the ball and sometime JF tends to become hyper focused on one receiver (see DJ Moore last season) - Wilson could fill that role.

ARBL X-Factor: Saquon Barkley... I picked this player solely because that means that ARBL's X-Factor will be going against his favorite NFL team - who doesn't love this predicament?

Prediction: ARBL

Mystery Guest Input: His exact words... "It looks like Lloyd rides the short bus*" Bootay Pirates win

Cocaine Cowboys v Barely Even Know Her

Key Matchup: DK Metcalf v Brian Thomas Jr.

Why? DK is definition of a physical stud... remember when he chased down the Buddhism God? However, as athletic as he is... he has a tendency to sometimes check out of games and let's not forget about Sauce Gardner shadowing him around the field. On the flip side, BTJ is the wideout that was not widely touted as a rookie - yet, he was the 4th best receiver last season. Just reread that sentence and tell me what stands out? Yes, BTJ was the 4th scoring WR as a rookie. Oh and guess what? He still has his same QB... if DK can keep this matchup close, it will be a big win for Cocaine Cowboys.

Cowboys X-Factor: Alvin Kamara... other than age is there a smoother looking RB with the ball in his hands? Sometimes Kamara looks like he is moving in slow motion and then he breaks off a big run. Cocaine Cowboys is a team full of big names from a few years ago, if they can turn back the clock this is going to be a good team - and it all starts with Kamara.

BEKH X-Factor: De'Von Achane... this Miami running back is sneaky good. Not considered a big name in the league - but he finished top 5 last season. Achane has breached 100 all-purpose yards in half of his fantasy relevant games and that include a season where he was dealing with injuries throughout. He has the potential to have a big season and this week is one of those big weeks. As an Indy fan, I can tell you - their run defense is full of holes.

Prediction: Barely Even Know Her

Mystery Guest Input: He is still feeling the impact of change and somebody left him for greener pastures... Barely Even Know Her

1st Downs Syndrome v Project Tush Push

Key Matchup: Jalen Hurts v Jayden Daniels

Why? Divisional rivals. Same type of QB. Both black. Who knocked out the Commanders in the playoffs? The Eagles. Which QB was responsible for 4 touchdowns? Jalen Hurts. However, which team is reliant on stellar play from their QB? The Commanders. This is going to be a fun matchup between 2 QBs that are comfortable running the ball and throwing it. Look for both of these QB's to finish in the top 5 fantasy scorers this week.

Syndrome X-Factor: CMC... the big question is how healthy is he? How often will San Fran use him and how often they try to save him for a hopeful playoff run? If he used properly, he score points in bunches. This season comes down CMC's use and how healthy he can stay.

Tush Push X-Factor: Ashton Jeanty... this is kind of an easy pick for week 1. Nobody knows how well this rookie RB will good. His ADP was in round 1 of nearly every PPR fantasy draft, but is it deserving? In previous years, top-tier rookie RB's have performed within the RB1 fantasy ranking and it is not like the Raiders have many other options (outside of Brock Bowers) for playmakers.

Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome

Mystery Guest Input: His favorite Vandy alum now.... also he said, better player by a smidge - whatever the hell that means... Project Tush Push

Deez Lutz v Ertz when Eifert

Key Matchup: James Connor v David Montgomery

Why? This matchup needs to have a lot of separation for Deez to feel good. Montgomery is a backup and a touchdown vulture. Montgomery only ever rushed for 100 yards once last season - however, James Connor rushed for over 100 yards 6 times last season. If Conner can pull away, you can bet that this could be a big win for Deez Lutz.

Deez Lutz X-Factor: Trevor Lawrence... T-Law is usually not a candidate for a top performing QB, but this week is different. They face the worst ranked defense in the league (Carolina) and Lawrence will need to have a big week for confidence from this fantasy owner to keep him in the starting lineup. Not a lot has changed for the Jacksonville offense, so there should be some comfortability and he should have a big week.

Ertz/Eifert X-Factor: George Pickens... let's be honest, we are curious how the CeeDee/Pickens marriage is going to work in Dallas. Pickens has all the physical ability in the world, but he also tends to crash out too often. If Pickens can prove that he is a valuable 2nd option to CeeDee, this could not only be a big week for him - but also a big season.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: If the opposing team's QB is a hippy... you win (man must not have watched Remember the Titans)... Ertz when Eifert

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you, J-Bones - may your entire team switch bodies with Jordan Hudson and be pinned down by and have a 73-year saggy ball sack dangling in your face.

With Love

Commish

*Lloyd's team... not just Lloyd