Even though that happened, there are times when I go to my throne and I build a motha f*ckin' bridge. We have all had those... you lay that log down and it stretches across drain hole... all those little people can cross the hole and get to the other size. Sometimes when I am building a bridge I get impressed with myself. We have our own preferences, but for me that is an exit only and I get a little proud when I drop a bridge and think, "Yup, that is for real. Stand back d*cks... the location ain't for you."
Then you get those "boom boom" times when you know there is more, but it just ain't happening right know. You know you can fire away - but you just have sucked all the nutrients yet. It is not time... these Nutrient Suckers still have work to do. They are nice, but they are slight reminders that there is still some unfinished business.
Moving on from that, at one point in my life I prided myself on my ability to eat and drink and just go into that mindset of Dark Places - making myself deal with whatever pain is happening. Between eating 75 chicken nuggets (still room in the tank) to prove a point and the completing the gallon challenge - I find ways to force it down. At one point, a senior decided to challenge me in eating chicken nuggets - long story short, I end up with 500 chicken nuggets and about 9 other guys in my house. We sat down and said, "Go" and you ate until you had to stop. A certain senior was eating way to fast and there was no way he was going to keep that pace... let's just say my kids now know him as "The One who threw up."
Now... I didn't just come in here and talk about BM's to throw you off (or did I?)... but currently, we are 3 weeks into the season and it is time find out where we really fit in this league...
Bridge Builders (Real Deals)
Nips and Salsa (3-0)
Cocaine Cowboys (3-0)
1st Downs Sysndrome (2-1)
It is early, but these 4 teams are currently showing that they have the firepower to continue finding their way to the Promise Land (the playoffs). Of these teams, 2 of them are undefeated - one team has lost to one of the undefeated team. Cocaine Cowboys find themselves undefeated and the lineup has been untouched in terms of the injury bug. Nips and Salsa has one question mark at QB, but there are currently 4 QB's in the lineup - with 3 viable options and 1 long-term play.
Ghost Poopers (Pretenders)
Bootay Pirates (1-2)
2 A.P. (1-2)
Ertz/Eifert (3-0)
The Bootay Pirates. It is wild to throw them in this group and they have a losing record... but they lead the league in scoring - and they are one CeeDee Lamb injury away from being 2-1 and feeling much better about their situation. With that being said, Croskey-Merritt's stock should have gone up due to an injury (Ekeler), but he does not have a stronghold on the job as of right now - being out touched by McNichols. With his role unstable and CeeDee going down - this team find's themselves in the Ghost Poop range until their question marks are answered. Some may ask, "Why is Ertz/Eifert a pretender?" The lineup has depth... but they are placed in a pretender status because of the results up to this point. There lineup improved with CeeDee's injury - but when he returns, Pickens value drops.
Nutrient Suckers (Still more left in the tank)
The J-Bones (1-2)
ARBL (1-2)
Project Tush Push (1-2)
Slender TD's (1-2)
These teams have the lineups that could produce a slew of wins and have found themselves in slew of 1-2 teams... but maybe they should be a little higher. ARBL and The J-Bones are teams that really stand out... obviously, J-Bones had the big week. But also, one of their losses comes against an undefeated team and with arguably the best RB in fantasy right now, who wouldn't say there isn't more left in the tank. ARBL is another team where one of their losses comes when they scored the 3rd highest point total. There is still something holding them back... if they find that out - they are in line for a big jump in the league.
Vomit Volcano (Just Plain struggling)
Barely Even Know Her (1-2)
AR Finger (1-2)
Cleveland Streamer (1-2)
Indiana Jones (1-2)
These teams are currently struggling and luckily there is 10 of the 14 teams tied at 1-2. As of right now, there is no real harm in being in this position - since we are forgiving league and so many make the playoffs (over half the league). You have time to switch something up, make a trade, make a big pickup - or a team name change. Either way... you are here for a reason and something definitely needs to change. The one team that will be noted, A.R. Finger is down here even with winning the belt once so far - but the other weeks, they failed to break 100 points.
Matchup of the WeekCocaine Cowboys (3-0) v Ertz/Eifert (3-0)
What a matchup in a battle for the top of the They/Them/Zed division!! Eff the normalcy, I am just writing about this headliner... From top to bottom this should be close, but there are a few intertwined teams in this battle. We have Goff and the Lions defense on one side and ARSB and Montgomery on the other side. Yes, there is the idea that ARSB is relying on Goff to throw the ball which cross-mingles... but the other side is the actual football side which involves the Detroit playing against Cleveland - and they're not bad on the defensive side of the ball. It is not often that you see a double TE fantasy lineup... but when your TE's are Hunter Henry and Trey McBride... you do your thang and throw 'em both out there!
Prediction: Cocaine Cowboys
Mystery Guest: Cocaine Cowboys.... wins by a smidge, but we can all hope he loses right?
Nips and Salsa (3-0) v ARBL (1-2)
Well, instantly you look at what Lamar Jackson has done and think, "He is good at fantasy football." To think that he was sacked 5 times last week and he still scored 27 points and this week should be another shootout - hopefully this time he can actually use Zay Flowers. On the flip side, Gibbs needs to have a big week and so does JSN. Thankfully, Geno has shown that JSN will continually be getting fed - seeing an average of 10 targets a game.
Prediction: Nips and Salsa
Mystery Guest: ARBL... wins by a nose - can you really depend on Tua?
Indiana Jones (1-2) v 1st Downs Syndrome (2-1)
I mean, truthfully this is just an pretty unfair matchup. Downs Syndrome is just flat-out a better team... possibly top to bottom. I really don't think there is anything that Indiana Jones can do to get this victory?
Is that enough bulletin board material for the squad, Indiana Jones?
A lot of that down talk seems eerily similar to the move the Indianapolis Colts made bringing in Daniel Jones and look at them now? If not this squad pulling off the upset against Downs Syndrome, who?
Yeah... I am still picking 1st Downs Syndrome.
Prediction: 1st Downs Syndrome
Mystery Guest: 1st Downs Syndrome... big win; somebody needs to stick to tennis.
Bootay Pirates (1-2) v Project Tush Push (1-2)
It is wild to look at Tush Push's team and think, "How they are 1-2?" Hence, why they are in the Nutrient Suckers category. They have 5 positions in the starting lineup that are in the top 10 of the positional rankings. Yet, they not only are 1-2... they are also in the bottom 3 point scorers in the league. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with the lack of firepower after Hurts. On the flip side, Bootay Pirates are Ghost Poops... just a bunch of pretenders. You are going to see it this week, when CeeDee doesn't play - you will see how fragile the ecosystem really is.
Prediction: Project Tush Push
Mystery Guest: Project Tush Push... Bootay has fallen on hard times.
Slender TD's* (1-2) v BEKH (1-2)
Remember when we talked about Depth vs. Firepower? Slender TD's has boffff of 'em. This is a team that should not be 1-2 and will definitely see their way out of the hole. MHJ will eventually wake-up (maybe), but even if he doesn't - the Flyin' Hawaiian will pick up the slack. On the flip side, something needs to change. Unfortunately, I am not sure how much checking of the fantasy team is happening by this manager - all we want is a little effort... am I right Putting Commish?
Prediction: Slender TD's
Mystery Guest: Slender TD's... a match between 2 bad teams, who really cares?
2AP (1-2) v The J-Bones* (1-2)
Josh Allen is arguably the best football player in the NFL. Truthfully, he can win a lot of games on his own - but he can't win fantasy football on his own. That is what we are looking at here... Josh Allen is better at QB and then after that, give me The J-Bones. Could this be the turn around point for The J-Bones? Could they take this past week as a launching pad and they just keep the belt all season (most likely not, but who knows). Belt or no belt... this week does not look good for 2AP.
Prediction: The J-Bones
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... football coach better rally his troops if hopes to do something that year... no statue building when it comes to Fantasy.
Cleveland Streamers (1-2) v AR Finger* (1-2)
There might not be another manager that dislikes their team more than Cleveland Streamers. AR Finger is going to hope for a week that is more like week 2 and less like weeks 1 and 3. I am intrigued to see what happens with Nabers with Dart starting at QB - not sure how high I am on this working... but hey we have been surprised before. Javonte Williams has been the pleasant surprise for AR's Finger - he could be the X-Factor for this week and the remaining weeks.
Prediction: AR's Finger
Mystery Guest: Cleveland Streamers... Corum comes through this week. How does an OSU fan draft a Michigan player, just doesn't seem right.
It has also dawned on me that I have been slacking with my sign-off... let me correct that ship and officially state....
As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you, ARBL - may your entire team be forced into a never ending loop of teaching a blind child how to ride a bike.
With Love
Commish
No comments:
Post a Comment