White Condomints vs Steady Diet
They say that a tie is like kissing your sister. Well, I would rather tie than take the beatdown that White Condomints endured. And yes, I know this week is not over - but seriously?
It was like watching a public proposal where the man was so sure she was going to say yes. He hops down on one knee, pops out that mini ice rink of a diamond and stammers through his word, "Will, will you marr...."
"STOP"
She is pissed. Clearly, this was not something they had talked about. She walks out, infuriated.
This is what it would feel like (for White Condomints) watching the 1 o'clock games. Then the onslaught continues....
You see the man was so confident that he had ordered drinks for everyone in the restaurant and he had even planned a band to come out and play the first song they ever made love to. So not only is he hearing the love ballad without a bride to be, but he also is stuck with a monstrous bill at the end of the night.
This was Tyreek Hill. This was the final gut punch.
As you look at the final box score, please just keep in mind - Steady Diet did not even play Desean Jackson, who had a measly 31.6 points. Yikes! I will say this, Steady Diet should not expect this every week - but man, do the good times keep on rolling for the defending champ!
Prediction: White Condomints wins - WRONG!!
Col. Erran Morad vs Robert 3-Woods
Well, it is safe to say that clearly something went wrong with Col. Morad's team this week. I (and I would assume most people) did not see this poor of a result. It did not help that Fournette was forced out of the game with an injury. It also did not help that Morad traded away James Conner, just minutes before the 1 o'clock games started. How many points did Conner score this week? 34.2 points. How many points did Morad lose by? 33.6 points. Yes, it is more complicated than that - but you get the gist.
The real big hit was Big Ben. Nobody in their right mind would have thought that Big Ben was going to throw three interceptions. However, it is not like Jimmy G did much better. Jimmy also tossed three interceptions and also finished with the same amount of points. The only difference? Jimmy was going against a top defense and Big Ben was going against Cleveland. Woods got a good jump in the week when Ajayi found pay dirt twice in the Thursday night game. He never looked back... but it helps when your opponent doesn't even break 80.
Prediction: Col. Erran Morad wins....WRONG!!
Sagging TD's vs I AM STUPID
This matchup featured more than a few studs this week - especially a few that were on the same NFL team!!
The Saints/Buccs game was destined to be a shootout once Fitzpatrick morphed into his alter ego: FitzMagic. If there is ever a shootout, I want as many players in that game as possible. Brees and Michael Thomas were both apart of the game and both had big performances. Emmanuel Sanders found himself to be the favored target for new quarterback Case Kenum. Gronk is Gronk.
The difference maker? The supporting casts. Fantasy football is all about studs - but when two teams featuring studs run into each other it will always come down to the supporting cast. Derrick Henry dropped the ball in this department. Sammy Watkins did not perform much better. It is going to be hard to beat a team when two of your position players only manage to beat the opposing teams kicker. I AM STUPID managed to avoid the injury bug and get the win - but the bigger question is: Will we see another league divisive trade made from him this week?
Prediction: I AM STUPID wins.... RIGHT!
Mike McCarthy is Gay vs Team Dez Nuts
This one hurts. It really, really hurts. Honestly, it hurts me - not because I feel for the MMIG, it hurts me because I predicted them to win.
MMIG has to be scratching his head, wondering what happened to my running backs? Where did I go wrong with McCoy/Drake/Coleman? The truth of the matter? There is nothing wrong. Drake played in a monsoon and more than likely struggle to get in a rhythm. McCoy had Peterman as his quarterback for most of the game. Peterman might not be able to start my local high school football team - he is BAD! Coleman will see more and more touches as the Falcons begin to realize he is the better back in Atlanta.
On the flip side, Dez Nuts has got to be thinking how did Fitzpatrick do that to my defense? WE ARE ALL THINKING THAT!!! Dez had the top three point scorers in this matchup and still only finished ahead by .7 points. The Saints/Benjamin/Kelce/Collins quartet finished with a combined 1.5 points. Let me just say that 3rd name again - TRAVIS KELCE. Something has got to change for Dez Nuts, because this kind of output is not going to get the job done from here on out!
Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins.... WRONG!!
Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood vs Hernandez Hit Men
This was a dominating performance from Hernandez Hit Men. One owner is convinced that the best team is Hernandez Hit Men - this performance may solidify that. Mahomes looks like he will benefit greatly from the Andy Reid offense. He also looks like he might have the strongest arm in the NFL. It is crazy to think that someone with an arm like that will probably average 3 or 4 "tap passes" a game. Gordon also looks like his going to touch the ball 30+ times a game. The only question HHM has to answer: how is he going to make up for the loss of Delanie Walker.
For Mr. Rodger's had fairly good output from Barkley and Mixon, but this may not always be the case. For one, Mixon managed to tear up the Indianapolis defense. You can count on one hand the number of times that Indianapolis managed to hold a running back under 10 points last season. Mixon definitely took advantage of a great matchup - but how many times is that going to happen? Also, if you remove Barkley's long 68 yard touchdown scamper, he finished with 38 yards rushing and 22 yards receiving - not exactly, tearing it up!
I definitely took a risk in predicting the upset, and it may have ended a little closer if Goodwin didn't get hurt and the Chargers scored -3!
Prediction: Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood wins..... WRONG!!
The J-Bones vs Prible is my B*tch
THE TRADE:
Sometime early in the week a trade was set to J-Bones featuring James Conner. Why do J-Bones? Because he has Le'veon Bell. J-Bones thinks that Bell is going to report and disregards the trade.
At this point, there was still hope that Bell would eventually show up and save the day.
At 12:27 on Sunday, there was trade accepted. I, the commissioner, had no clue about this taking place. This was even more important because in our league the commissioner has been given the power to push every trade through so that it can happen immediately. However, I was currently having lunch with my family and my phone was the charger. This is a problem.
At approximately, 12:43 Mr. J-Bones drives to my house and knocks on my door. He informed of this trade and that it needed to be pushed through. I apologized for not having my phone (which had three missed calls and three unseen text messages). I quickly got on and pushed the trade through.
All is calm on the western front.
James Conner. In a single trade, one team wins (The J-Bones) and one team loses (Col. Erran Morad). Also, one team loses (PIMB) and one team wins (Bobby 3-Woods). This single trade has greatly shifted the outcome of week 1. It also happened to greatly favor one side - this could have potentially greatly divided the league.... potentially. So, congrats to the J-Bones and his willingness to drive to my house and make sure the trade was pushed through in time - you earned this victory!
Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins..... WRONG!
Matchup of the Week
ImPickingARod @5SucitBob vs Hoosier Daddy
Hoosier Daddy is starting off this season where he left off last season - scoring lots of points! His point leader? Mike Evans. I am fairly positive that not even he was expecting that. Nobody benefitted more from FitzMagic than Mike Evans. Hoosier then rounded out the week with top performances from Gurley and Wilson and solid performances from Fitzger-OLD and Agholor. Not to mention the fantastic decision to have the defense that is going against the Bills and Peterman. Well played sir, well played!
What happened to Cooper? Everyone was high on him, and he is supposed to be the guy in Oakland. Personally, I think the Rams defense is really just that good. Two extremely good cornerbacks and a monstrous front four. However, that is not even the biggest issue for @5SucitBob. What is he going to do if Rodgers is hurt, like hurt-hurt? He may have willed the Packers back into that game and won it for them - many thanks to the Bears offense not being able to get anything going in the 2nd half on offense. Not to worry, @5SucitBob does have Rivers on the bench, so it does seem like all is good in paradise - but is it?
Prediction: @5SucitBob wins..... WRONG!!
SOOOOOOO, clearly not the best week - But.....
To the fans and everybody in the Fantasy Dojo, I'm sorry, I'm extremely sorry. We were hoping for an undefeated season. That was my goal. Something the Fantasy Dojo has never done here. I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any commissioner in the entire country work as hard as I will work the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of the league as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. You will never see a Dojo have more right predictions than this Dojo the rest of the season.
Commissioner
2018 Season
Mwah
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