****Don't play song during class or around children, does contain a naughty word****
Just the kind of vibe I got going right now. To be fair I could have linked a video that featured the clean version, but sometimes it just feels good to say, "It feels great, motha**ka!" I just gets your blood flowing your adrenaline going. I can only imagine a locker room of 50 juiced up, happy-pilled, 250 pound men jumping around dancing to this song. One lineman jumps on the table, his towel looks like loin cloth trying to hide an anaconda. Then all of the sudden the table breaks. Everyone pauses, he jumps back up and yells....
"IT FEELS GREAT, MOTHAF**KA!!"
You know that locker room is going wild. This could be the exact scene on Thursday night - when the Browns storm into the locker room after finally clinching their first win in 2 years. We are pulling for you Cleveland - well, except for God. God still hates you!
Anyways, I digress - on to the predictions....
Team Dez Nuts (2-0) v White Condomints (1-1)
****Jump down to after the trade****
This is going to be a match-up worth watching. These two team recently made a trade, one that resembles most trades - sending a stud for multiple role players.
Dez Nuts comes into this week 2-0, but has scored less than White Condomints. Does that matter? Not at this point. Fantasy Football is all about the here and now. Does it matter that Kareem Hunt was traded from WC to Dez Nuts? Not at this point. Will Hunt and Ekeler outscore Thompson and Crowell? Nah gee. Thompson has the chance to catch eight or nine balls again this week - with the possibility of the Redskins being down in the second half.
However, Antonio Brown finds himself in a shootout friendly match-up. Will Brown be held out of the end zone two week in row? Doubtful. I predict that Brown has a big game this week - scoring well into the 30's. That might just enough to push Dez Nuts over the top....
****After the trade****
Yet again White Condomints swings another trade midway through the predictions post. What a jacka**! This time he had to give up Crowell and Golladay in return for Gronkowski. Did it really help him out that much? Time will tell. He does already have Dissly and Kittle on his roster - but Gronk is in a league all on his own. WC is banking that Gronk and Brady can get on the same page this week - especially since Gronk will be in the flex position.
Prediction: Team Dez Nuts wins
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (1-1) v Mike McCarthy is Gay (0-2)
This is a must-win for MMIG. His team is desperately needing a boost - or trade, or switch-up, or maybe just a good playing "Feels Great." I am just saying, anything will help at this point.
To MMIG's defense, Shady McCoy is dealing with some fractured ribs. Plus, in week one he only lost by .7 points - talk about a heartache! On the flip side, Mr. Rodger's is dealing with a few injuries himself. Joe Mixon will be sidelined for a while - but being the Fantasy Football savant that he is, he also had Bernard ready to throw in his place.
Normally, I would be really weary of starting T.Y. Hilton - but this year the Eagles defense has been anything but intimidating. I guarantee, that if I asked - at the beginning of the season - who be leading the NFL in rushing after week 2? Nobody would say Matt Breida. Well, looky there he is!!
Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins
The J-Bones (1-1) v Steady Diet (2-0)
One of these teams is a top team in the league, and one of these teams is on a downward trend - you pick which is which?
It is never good, when you feel like starting a player who is a back-up and coming off an injury - it is probably not a good thing for your lineup. I also am not a huge fan of anybody in the Arizona offense - especially the tight end.
On the flip side, it seems like there is always someone on Steady Diet's team that has a big week. Yes, it is only week two - but when you have a team full of big play playmakers - someone is bound to have a good week.
Prediction: Steady Diet wins, but Tyreek has a bust a week
ImPickingARod @5SucItBob (0-2) v Sagging TD's (0-2)
****Jump to after the trade****
This was the runner-up candidate for Match-up of the Week, not because both teams are looking outstanding - but because this is a must-win for both teams.
It is never good to start the season 0-3, it will be a giant uphill battle throughout the season - especially considering bye weeks have not even started. Luckily one team is averaging 15 points more per week - however, that team is facing a possibly automatic forfeit. @5SucItBob has a lineup featuring Elliott, Rivers, and Cooper - all were expected to have a good fantasy year. The only problem? They haven't quite hit the expectations. Luckily for them, Sagging TD's is struggling in multiple departments of his lineup. Outside of the tight end position - this entire lineup could use an overhaul. I am going to say it - Sagging TD's might be the Cleveland Browns of our Fantasy Football league - just pick any team that is playing them....
****After the trade****
Well, well, well - here are again. Just like the Browns made a splash worthy trade - so did Sagging TD's. It is almost like he reads these blogs as I type them. He did have to trade away Gronkowski, but in return he gets Crowell and Golladay - both will immediately fill starting roles. These two add much more depth to the lineup. Unfortunately, I think the outcome will still be the same this week - just too many opportunities for @5SucItBob to have big weeks.
Prediction: ImPickingARod @5SucItBob wins
Prible is my B**ch (0-2) v Robert 3-Woods (2-0)
This is a matchup between an undefeated team and a winless team. If this was an actual NFL game - this would be the definition of a trap game.
PIMB has a great quarterback and good wide receivers. I would not be surprised if PIMB makes a move to try and flip one of his receivers into an improvement at running back - clearly Freeman is not the best back in Denver. PIMB has the opportunity to try and shake things up, he has a few pieces that could easily get value in return. If he does stay with this current lineup - a usual for PIMB - then at least he is matched up against the of the weaker of the undefeated teams.
3-Woods has jumped on board the "FitzMagic" train. As long as he continues this hot streak, why not start him? Especially considering Fitzpatrick finds himself in a shootout friendly matchup this week. Unfortunately, this is the only position of strength for 3-Woods. Ajayi would be a huge position of strength, if he wasn't come off an injury. Adams will have a good game - as long as Aaron Rodgers continues to stay upright. Every single Packers' fans holds there breath every single time Rodgers is brought to the ground. My guess? Adams and Fitzpatrick shine, but can't carry the team by themselves....
Prediction: Prible is my B**ch wins
Hoosier Daddy (1-1) v Col. Erran Morad (0-2)
Listen, it comes down to this - is Todd Gurley still playing football? Yes. Does Hoosier Daddy still have him in his lineup? Yes.
Nuff' said.
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins
Matchup of the Week
Hernandez Hit Men (2-0) v I AM STUPID (2-0)
We have a battle of two unbeaten teams. A battle of two of the top three scoring teams. A battle of running backs versus wide receivers. Let's break it down....
QB: Mahomes vs Ryan
Mahomes has been playing lights out! Nobody in their right mind would pick against him at this point, but there will be a downfall sometime. Nobody can keep up this pace of play for the entire season. Is this week? Probably not. Mahomes gets the edge.
RB: McCaffrey/Gordon vs Johnson/Barber
The best running back tandem in Bluffton Bombshells has to be McCaffrey/Gordon. Gordon is a bonafide stud - who is going to touch the ball consistently in the high 20's. McCaffrey is virtually the only option in Carolina not named Newton - yes, if Cam Newton could catch passes I am sure he would try. Johnson has yet to really have his arrival this season - I really don't think it is going to come against the Bears defense. Clear advantage to McCaffrey/Gordon.
WR: Tate/Landry vs Thomas/Diggs
Thomas and Diggs are decent, average, mediocre. I mean who wants to have the top wide receiver and the fourth overall wide receiver. Psssshhhhhhhhhh - just decent. On the other side, no one is happier about the Josh Gordon trade than Jarvis Landry. Ideally, his target share will go up - hopefully matching his compadre Tate, who is among the league leaders in targets. As much I really hate to do this, the edge does go Thomas/Diggs (they just decent, mediocre at best)
TE: Ebron vs Rudolph
The tight end position is such a coin flip from week to week. Even the great Gronkowski only scored 3.5 points last week. Honestly, flip a coin and go with that.
FLEX: Hyde vs Sanders
The edge has to go to Sanders. This is a PPR league and Hyde is not the passing running back in his committee. Sanders is practically WR1 on his team, and he will be getting plenty of targets. Will this a landslide advantage? Probably not - but Hyde plays on Thursday against the current number one defense, not in his best interest. Advantage goes to Sanders.
DEF/K: Broncos/Vinatieri v Dolphins/Parkey
Kickers are stupid in terms of fantasy football. Broncos have the better defense, but the tougher matchup. Baltimore has had extra time to prepare for this game. I still think this is a coin flip, better defense, tougher matchup or average defense, average matchup - take your pick!
Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins, thanks to the running backs
Mwah
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