Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Week 2 Rizzzults

What a week for NFL kickers? Huh, yeah - let's hear it for them - HIP HIP.....

Crickets

There were 19 missed attempts (field goals or extra points). I can not believe there is a world where your sole job is do one thing - and when it finally comes time to do it, you miss. I get if you mess up once, maybe twice (maybe). I get if you miss a kick that is out of your range and you just have to swing as hard as you can to get it there. I get it if your kick is blocked.

But, how - how on God's green earth - do you miss an extra point? THAT IS YOUR ONLY JOB. Then I can't imagine showing up to practice the next day - that would take a lot of nerve. No wonder kickers get a bad rep in the NFL.

With all these blown opportunities - we still have a team that hasn't won since before Christmas of 2016. We have two ties in two weeks. We also have another week of fantasy football results....

White Condomints (1-1) v The J-Bones (1-1)


Well, it turns out the DDA struggled to pinpoint White Condomints' "question mark." It was more of a struggle for The J-Bones than anything else...

JuJu Smith-Schuster had himself a day. JuJu had 13 receptions, 121 yards and touchdown. This will not be the normal stat line for JuJu - but with A. Brown drawing double coverage every time - JuJu could have a big year. He is quickly vaulting himself into the "must start" territory. It also helped that Chris Thompson made a killing in garbage time against the Indianapolis Colts. He continued to catch dump-off after dump-off - totaling 13 receptions and rushing for 1 yard. That might be my favorite stat line of the week. Thompson scored 22.3 points as a running back and only rushed for 1 yard.

On the flip side - The J-Bones are going to need more productive out of the supporting cast. If your kicker is going to outscore 3 other positions, you might be in trouble - especially during this week.

Prediction: White Condomints.... RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: The J-Bones

Sagging TD's (0-2) vs Steady Diet (2-0)


One team has solidified their position near the top, the other......ehhhhhhh - changes should be happening soon.

It has been two weeks and each week Steady Diet has had a player rush/receive at least three touchdowns. Who would have thought that A.J. Green would have exploded like that during a Thursday night game and against a fairly tough Baltimore defense. Yet again, DeSean Jackson find himself on the bench and yet again, D-Jax had a great game. That is just how stacked Steady Diet's team is at the moment. Clearly, this is the team that has solidified itself as one of the team's to beat, the other......

Sagging TD's is going to need to make some changes. His receivers look a little outmatched week-in and week-out. Not to mention, Henry and Cook, the running backs are both in timeshare. If it were me, I would try and make some moves this week. Clearly, this line-up is not working.

Prediction: Steady Diet wins....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Steady Diet

Robert 3-Woods (2-0) v Mike McCarthy is Gay (0-2)


In a week where you had to score at least 129 to win - MMIG was just outmatched and outgunned. All I can say is, defense and kickers actually matter....

Rams/Gould = 25
Patriots/Zuerlein = -2
Difference = 27 points

Robert 3-Woods = 132.5
MMIG = 113.3
Difference = 19.2

Whoops! Hey at least Thielen and Hogan had good games. Don't worry little buddy - it is not one of your top picks is struggling with broken ribs or anything..... oh wait!

Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins....WRONG
Competitor Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay

Col. Erran Morad (0-2) vs Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (1-1)


This was a needed win for Mr. Rodgers, and it only digs Col. Morad into a deeper hole. However, there is a cost to picking the win this week. That cost? Joe Mixon.

Mixon will be out for the next 3-4 weeks, luckily Mr. Rodgers does have Gio Bernard on his bench. Talk about an owner who is on top of the game - grabbing the handcuff to play that has dealt with injuries. Not to mention, the Bengals offense actually looks decent. Keep in mind, we have seen this before - the last time they got off the best start in franchise history? 2015. Their running back that year? Bernard. Coincidence? I guess we will find out.

Col. Morad has a few (a lot) of decisions to think about. Howard, Burkhead, Thomas, Cook, Stills, Boswell - all failed to score ten or more points. If it wasn't for Roethlisberger being involved in a shootout, this could have been extremely embarrassing the Colonel. I expect some trades to be coming soon, if not you can fully expect me to pick whoever Mr. Morad is facing. Col. Morad is turning into the Cleveland Browns - just pick whoever they are playing, some how both teams will find a way to lose!

Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins.....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood

I AM STUPID (2-0) vs ImPickingARod @5SucitBob (0-2)


It has to be brutal scoring 126 points and losing, but to be fair - that point total would have lost to every other winner as well. So first, let me applaud our league, a score of 126 points would have lost to every winner - that says something about the competitiveness of our league.


Let's just jump right to it... I AM STUPID's wide receivers are decent. They had a decent week. If I were him I would package one of these players with the likes of David Johnson and see if I couldn't land a stud running back. As it stands right now, Johnson and the Arizona offense are missing Bruce Arians - and he ain't coming back. If you think that it is going to turn around, this is the more than likely going to happen, then you hold on to your receivers and hope they can continue to get lucky - cuz they are only decent.... at best.

As for @5, don't worry little buddy - you will get one in the win column sometime. Have faith!

Prediction: ImPickingARod @5SucitBob......WRONG
Competitor Prediction: I AM STUPID


Team Dez Nuts (2-0) vs Prible is my B**ch (0-2)


Here's hoping that these two actually made the bet about the team names. If so, I would like to take the time to list a few possible new team names for our loser.....

1. Prible is my Daddy
2. I am lost without Jake
3. Comeback Leah
4. Why do I try?
5. Prible Performance (actually, he probably doesn't want his name associated with this team)

Anyways, the new look Dez Nuts had fairly good performance with Kelce leading the way. All of the skilled positions scored in the teens, which is going to be tough to beat from week to week. Although, I am not sure Dez Nuts can consistently count on Ekeler, Collins, and Cooks to continually perform like they did this week. But hey, enjoy it while you can!

For (insert new team here),  we should be looking at making some changes to this line-up as well. It is not good, if you can not even break 90 points. I would look at the running back position - both of those players are on the wrong side of a committee. You could easily trade one of your wide-outs and upgrade the running back spot while still receiving a decent receiver in return - just my thoughts!

Prediction: (Insert new team name) wins..... WRONG!!
Competitor prediction: (Insert new team name)

Matchup of the Week
Hernandez Hit Men (2-0) vs Hoosier Daddy (1-1)


Just flop it out.

We get it,  we get it. You have good running backs - but d*mn - why did you have do Hoosier Daddy like that? It is a shame that you going to have to forfeit this win. I mean I don't know about you, but I usually pay all my league dues before the season starts - but that is just me.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins.....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Don't worry, you are not the only one Hernandez, your counterpart also has not paid. Hmmm - well, now what do we do? We have one team that is averaging 150 points a week and one team that has the best running back in the league, neither has paid their league dues? I mean....


So, let it be known, the following four teams are on notice - pay your league dues prior to the following week or face an automatic forfeit....

Hernandez Hit Men
Hoosier Daddy
ImPicingARod @5SucitBob
Sagging TD's

Mwah

Prediction Record: 4-3
Competitor Record: 3-4








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