1. Labor Day Weekend
2. Yom Kippur - if you are into that kind of thing
3. National talk like a Pirate Day
Also, my birthday is in September and I still look forward to the start of the NFL season way more than the day I peek out of my mother's.......
Yup, we will quickly shift topics and move on to the real meat and potatoes, the kitten caboodle, the cock and balls - THE PREDICTIONS!!!
White Condomints vs. Steady Diet
This is by far the most ironic matchup in terms of names. Our local football team has a running back with the last name of Johnson - a pretty common last name. Well, during week 1 - he happens to have a pretty decent game and our local paper manage to snap a great picture with the following caption...
"Northfield chokes down a steady diet of Johnson."
Yes David, this is real life. This really happened and this was really printed in the paper that was then distributed all over our town. Yes, it says chokes down Johnson. Unreal. Un-effing-real. So, for the match-up we have a team featuring a steady diet of Johnson and a team that is all about contraceptions - hopefully nobody poked any holes in the package!!
This is week 1 and nobody knows really what is going to happen - but if there a few things in life that are certain it is death, taxes, and Hopkins scoring points. Hopkins is matched-up against the Patriots defense, who ranked 29th against opposing wide receivers. This should be a field day for Hopkins - as long as Watson can continue the stretch of MVP caliber play he had before his injury.
As good as Hopkins is week in and week out, Kamara could be just as good - if not better. Without Ingram in the backfield and the Saint releasing backup running back Terrance West (although they are reported to be signing Mike Gillislee to a one year deal) Kamara could be in for plenty of touches. He was one of the most efficient players in all of fantasy football last year and more opportunity will only add to his output.
Prediction: White Condomints wins with Hopkins leading the way!
Fantasy Doctor vs. Robert 3-Woods
This matchup features two teams that managed to find their way near the bottom of the DDA - those rankings will remain under lock and key until the time is right, unless of course you actually decide to be social and make an appearance to watch some football!! Nonetheless, this matchup looks lopsided - at least to my eye....
Roethlisberger has the better matchup (Cleveland) than Jimmy G. (Minnesota). Not to mention, Fournette is poised to have a nice follow up season and Howard is looking to be back to have in Chicago. The only real downside I see for the doctor would be having Howard and Robinson - both players on a Bears offense that ranked near the bottom of the NFL in all things offense last season. Robinson will be a big addition - but he is only a band-aid placed on a broken bone.
Bobby Woods will be watching closely on Thursday night. He needs have a big game from some of his studs: Ertz, Freeman, Ajayi. If there is not a sizable gap between the two teams after Thursday - Mr. Woods might need to set his eyes on next week or the trade block.
Prediction: Fantasy Doctor wins with Roethlisberger tossing 3 TD's
Sagging TD's vs I AM STUPID
Last season Sagging TD's was ranked last in the DDA and then in the 2 of the first 3 weeks manage to score the highest weekly total. Last season I AM STUPID manage to have an entirely different team week-in and week-out.
This season Sagging TD's is not ranked last, but he does find himself near the bottom. He also finds himself matched up with a team that managed to find one of the top ranks. The difference would be in the depth at the starting positions. There are very few teams that have two starting running backs and two number 1 wide receivers. STUPID fits both those criteria and not fits, but excels in them. Johnson is one of the top running backs in the league and has had plenty of time to overcome his injury. Thomas is the number one wide receiver and favorite target of Brees (who happens to be starting for the Sagging). The one position that could really flip the script in this matchup is tight end.
GRONK. GRONK see ball. GRONK catch ball. GRONK smash ball. However, as good as Gronk is Rudolph has the capability of keeping up with Gronk if he can manage to snag a "sagging td" catch. This matchup shares players on the same team, so it really comes down to which player will take down the eagle's share of the targets....
Thomas vs. any other of Brees options
Cook vs. Diggs and Rudolph
Prediction: I AM STUPID wins and avoids the injury bug this season
Mike McCarthy is Gay vs Team Dez Nuts
This is a matchup between a team that traded down their 1st round pick for a 2nd and 3rd and a team that was not present during the draft and ended up auto-picking after the 3rd round.
MM is Gay features Thielen and Hogan, both top notch receivers - not too mention MM also has Brady. If the Pats can manage to keep Brady upright against that vaulted Houston defensive front - he could really rack up the connection with Hogan. However, as good as both those option are they are not, and will never be A. Brown. Brown knows how to do one thing - lead the league. He has done it for the past four seasons (in receiving) and the way he does it is to take advantage of matchups that are in his favor. He feasts on Cleveland every season, last season he opened with 11 catches and 182 yards against Cleveland.
As good as the receivers are in this matchup, it really comes down to the running backs. McCoy and Drake may look shaky - but the reality is that Drake is/was as good as running back out there. Drake lead the league in rushing in the last five weeks of the 2017 season - who cares if the big names were resting!!
Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins and the Brady/Hogan connection hits for at least one TD
Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood vs Hernandez Hit Men
Well, we have a very interesting matchup. A team that I wrote about having the top core foundation against a team that has plenty of question marks all over the starting line-up.
As good as good can get - McCaffrey and Gordon both look like they are THE bell cow on their respective teams. Not too mention, both might end up leading their team in targets by the end of the season. Tate and Landry are a slight drop-off, but still both are number one options on their teams. Everybody knows how much I love Walker at tight-end, I just don't think Corey Davis is the answer at wide-out in Tennessee and Walker will still see his fair share of targets.
Mr. Rodgers features two running backs, one rookie and one second year - that need to have a big year. Honestly, Barkley could touch the football 25+ times each week. The one thing you don't want to look past is opportunity and Barkley will have plenty of them. As untested as the running backs are, the real question marks are in the wide-outs. Hilton is dependent on is Luck is back to normal, if Luck is - Hilton's value skyrockets. Goodwin is ridiculously fast and is also Jimmy G's favorite target.
What a great core for Hit Men, but what can I say I love a good upset....
Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins and Hilton/Goodwin speeds through their opposing defenses
The J-Bones vs Prible is my B**ch
This matchup took a nasty turn for the worst on Saturday. One of the strong points for J-Bones was the depth he had at running back, not any more.
R.I.P. Jerick McKinnon
But, as the 49ers move on, so must The J-bones. This puts a lot of pressure on Bell to perform and carry that position on his own. Bell is on a contract year and everybody is anticipating Pittsburgh to get everything they can out of Bell. However, without McKinnon I am not sure The J-Bones can contend with the wide-outs that PimB is throwing out there.
Julio Jones and Odell Beckham Jr. will be getting the lion's share of targets. Jones and Beckham are not exactly known for sharing, which bodes well for PimB. To go along with the wide-outs PimB also has Watson - who played at an MVP caliber before his injury. If he can return to his previous form PimB will be a tough team to beat.
Prediction: Prible is my B**ch wins and Jones and Beckham both score more than 20 points
Matchup of the Week
ImPickingARod @5SucitBob vs. Hoosier Daddy
This matchup features Hoosier Daddy, who didn't win the league last year despite scoring 50 more points than the champion. Hoosier Daddy finished 2nd and @5 finished 3rd, with two gurus like that facing off in week 1 - this matchup was destined to be the Matchup of the Week.
Rodgers vs. Wilson - Rodgers has the clear cut advantage. Chicago defense or Denver defense, which would you rather face? Oh wait, did Chicago just trade for Mack? Chicago is out here making moves - making this not such a huge advantage (still slightly trending towards Rodgers)
Elliott/Lynch vs. Gurley/Johnson - Hands down, an advantage to Hoosier Daddy. Gurley was the number one pick and let's face it Johnson has to be valued higher than Lynch. I think it is close, and Elliott is looking like the only real offense option that Dallas has. However, I have to give the upper hand to Hoosier!
Cooper/Jeffery vs. Evans/Fitzgerald - I think Cooper is primed and ready for his breakout season. We have all anticipated this to happen sooner, but with Crabtree shipped out of town - this has to be the year. Normally, I would say the depth of Evans/Fitzy is better, but I just don't know without Winston playing. I have to give the advantage to Cooper/Jeffery (hoping the prediction of the breakout season happens).
Reed vs. Burton - Simply put, I still don't trust Trubisky. Advantage Reed.
Garcon vs. Gordon - Garcon for week one, Gordon for the year. It is going to take time for Gordon to ease into game plan. The Browns have said that Gordon is available, but he still is not likely to start. On the other side of the matchup, Garcon is the 2nd favorite target of Jimmy G. The 49ers just lost McKinnon and could be facing plenty of opportunity to air the ball out.
Prediction: ImPicking ARod @5SucitBob wins, and if he doesn't change his name I am never picking him to win again!
Mwah
P.S. I welcome any challenger who would like to make their own picks!
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