Week 5 Results

In most circumstances this is the part of the post where I tend to take my artistic freedom and write about whatever I please. If any of you fancy Mr. Rotowire himself, Matthew Berry, he tends to take the first half of his article and write about nonsense. Odd - I think my first part is very informative and usually well thought out. On tap for this week.... Sportsbook.

If you didn't know, Indiana has now legalize sports betting and DraftKings has a Sportsbook. Let me tell you about some of sweet features. There is live in-game betting - fantastic! The odds constantly change and it is very fun to stay active and place bets. For example, I placed a parlay bet (a bet on many difference occurrences all happening) and it involved the Chiefs winning and covering - that clearly didn't happen. Well, once I had a good feeling the game was in hand and the Colts were going to win - I placed a large bet on the Colts to cover my losses for parlay bet. This can be a very effective strategy, however - you could also get screwed if some how a team comes back and pulls off a miracle win. Luckily, that didn't happen this time.

Another cool feature is the round robin bet - which is a type of parlay bet. I have yet to fully explore the aspects of this bet, but essentially you are betting on multiple parlays all at once. There is more information on a round robin bet here. I do realize that for a majority of you, all of this stuff means nothing to you - since you don't bet. For me, it is so fun to try and find the best possible way to make money and study odds and numbers. 

The most interesting bets to place are parlays. A parlay bet is placing a single bet on multiple occurrences all happening. Typically, this is a way to get betters payouts - but it is very difficult to be successful. Our mystery guest was one game away from making $100 dollars and I was one game away from making $2,000! However, my game I needed was the Jets to stay within 12 points and we all saw how that went. Anyways, if you would like to put together a parlay bet - hit me up and I can place it for you on Sportsbook!

Anyways, on to what you came here for.....

Matchup of the Week

Wings of Dickarus* (4-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (3-2)

In a week when there was an explosion of points, six teams scored more than 130 points - Wings of Dickarus will find himself just short of retaining the belt for a 2nd straight week. This was a decent matchup and both teams scored more than 100 points, it is just unfortunate that one team had three players right around 30 points and multiple players still scoring in double digits. Watson is a stud QB for ARBL, but Conner and Ingram did have the week they had last week. This week, the wide receivers let ARBL down - don't call me Miss Cleo, but if you read the prediction post.... THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!!

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy* (2-3) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (4-1)

A few thoughts on this matchup....

1) At one point in time, some of our members were extremely bad at fantasy football. The fact that 71.9 points is nearly 10 points away from cracking the bottom five score all-time should say something about those scores down there.

2) Somebody in this matchup is now 4-1 and ranks 11th in points scored - read that last statement and let it really sink in. The old saying goes, "You can only beat the team that lines up across from you." PBIMB is taking this to a whole new level... in four of the five weeks PBIMB has played an opponent in the bottom four of points scored. Talk about taking advantage of the schedule.

3) No single player scored more than 20 points... on either team.

Results: Pretty Boy is my B*tch wins
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!! 

Biggus Dickus (3-2) v The J-Bones (1-4)

Picture this.... a giant boa sees a nice juicy mammal and is ready to eat. The snake slithers towards its next meal, hiding in the tall grass. It is about to be chow time! It lunges forward and locks on to the mongoose.... wait, what? It was a mongoose? Oh sh*t! The mongoose flips the script and takes down the snake and enjoys himself a nice little snack. The mongoose? None other than Biggus Dickus. Usually the first year player in the league is one that the snakes swirl around and take what they can from their roster - not so fast. Since "Trade Week" Biggus Dickus has now averaged over 140 points and is looking like a team to be reckoned with. On the flip side, The J-Bones have a roster that is loaded with big names and top tiers - but they can never seem to put everything together. The J-Bones has the making of becoming a giant killer and team that could really ruin someone's season down the stretch.

Result: Biggus Dickus wins

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins... WRONG!!

Hernandez Hit Men (2-3) PEN15 Wrinkle* (4-1)

HOLY SH*T!

Results: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Predictions: Hernandez Hit Men wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Back Hatch (2-3) v Ankle Holster (2-3)

First, I would like to applaud the savvy play of Ankle Holster. In a close battle, he has pulled the kicker from the lineup and secured himself the win. He is not in the running for the belt - so why keep him in there? Sure, more than likely the kicker wouldn't lose him points - but there is a chance. Second, how did Mike Evans not record a single catch? Mind blowing. Ankle holster is relying heavily on the running backs - and as for this week, it has worked. But don't forget, these two teams both finished in the bottom four of points scored this week.

Result: Ankle Holster wins

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!

Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (3-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-4)

FSSV showed that it still has the firepower needed to keep up with the big dogs. Run CMC is a player that is on a mission to single-handedly carry his team. He is essentially the white Barry Sanders. After McCaffrey, as long as all the other positions have a steady output - FSSV will be tough to beat. Johnson, needed to have a much better performance from the Mahomes/Kelce stack. To be fair, Kelce had two or three pass interference calls take place on pass attempts his direction. Johnson is know to go after stacks during the draft - there were high hopes for this one, and it has yet to truly pan out as planned!

Result: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Prediction: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-3) v Massive TD's (2-3)

A team that has so much promise and just fell completely on its face - Triple B. Things looked promising for Triple B going into the 4 o'clock games. Triple B was ahead and had Elliott, Gordon, Brissett, and Vinatieri still to play and Massive had Jones, Prescott, Williams, McLaughlin left to play. Then the Aaron Jones show started and all of Dallas was shocked how bad he made those speedy linebackers look. Jones even nearly pulled one of my favorite celebrations (ala Tyreek Hill) and he waved to the defender as he cruised into the end zone. Jones would have had his name scribed in the record book, if it wasn't for another performance in the same state - what do they have in the water in Texas!!

Result: Massive TD's wins

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... WRONG!!

This has been a week defined by record book performances. Two players topped the previous highest single week output and one team took a run at the top score all-time. Not to mention, one team is going to most points scored in a season - this has been one roller coaster of a ride!

Season: 24-11

Mystery Guest: 18-17

Bless