Week 7 Results

Wow, can we just say that this is the lowest week we have had in a looooooong time - for at least this entire season, if anyone else would like to go back and double check last season, if not I am going to just say even through last season. This is the lowest week we have had since week 4 of the 2017 season (normally this is the kind of thing I would look up, but since I am currently on vacation - ain't gonna happen). Not only will we have the lowest score of the belt winner, but we also have half the league failing to reach 100 points. In life there are ups-and-downs, this would be a down week for the fantasy season and for many teams. Don't worry I am not going to get all philosophical on the ups-and-downs of life, but welcome to the roller coaster drop of the fantasy football season. As I write this post on a Monday, before MNF, there are currently nine players that broke the 25 point barrier. The previous week? 17 players. The week before that? 19 players. You get the idea - when the week sucks for fantasy football, it sucks for nearly everyone. Currently the belt winner is going to score 123 points - which would have placed 6th in week five and 7th in week six. Can you believe that? Someone is going to win the belt when they would have finished middle of the pack last the few weeks - talk about a serious hangover week. Alright, enough chatter about how much this week sucked, let's jump straight to the results.

Matchup of the Week

Ankle Holster* (3-4) v PEN15 Wrinkle* (5-2)

Let's just think about what has transpired to create this amazing storyline....

1) PEN15 Wrinkle sets the highest all-time single week score - also rostering the highest all-time player score, the league is put on notice!

2) Ankle Holster sets the lowest all-time single week score the very next week, everybody points and laughs!

3) These two match up and we now have the most recent highest all-time vs the most recent lowest all-time.... essentially Virginia vs UMBC (foreshadowing?)

4) Ankle Holster is not only the Team of the Week - they also happen to win the belt, even after telling the 2nd fantasy running back to pack up and leave!

5) Who's laughing now bitches!

Result: Ankle Holster wins
Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Gets a bonus point for predicting the belt winner correctly!

The Back Hatch (3-4) v Wings of Dickarus* (5-2)

One would think that after acquiring a big name running (even though it came at the cost of a big name wide receiver), a decent score would be following. Not so much, D. Cook did what he supposed to do, but everyone else was just disheartened in the locker room. Let's talk about the savvy play from Back Hatch with Marvin Jones Jr. continuing his excellent play. Trubisky may not have the last name Allen, but he outperformed his projection and is now looking to take the starting role for the remainder of the season. In a week when JuJu and M. Evans were on a bye, the wide receivers really performed - which makes The Back Hatch dangerous, too be fair back hatches are always dangerous!

Result: The Back Hatch wins
Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins... WRONG!!

Florida State Seminal Vesicle** (4-3) v Biggus Dickus (5-2)

Is there a hotter team than Biggus Dickus? Has there ever been a better rookie introduction to the league? The answer to both of those questions is "No." Biggus Dickus now sits at 5-2 and is in a terrific position to make the playoffs, the only downside is that they are in the tougher division. What has created this monster? A trio of players that once donned a Back Hatch jersey. Two were picked up in a trade and one was picked up off the waiver wire. Lindsay/Hooper/J. Allen has been the spark plug that has vaulted Biggus Dickus into the upper echelon of the league. Everybody better beware, this analytical mind is making moves in a game that we haven't even begun to play.

Sidenote: What a terrible showing from our first two-time belt champion. You know why this happen to you? YOU LEFT THE F*CKING BELT ON TOP OF A GARAGE FRIDGE THE ENTIRE F*CKING BELT. IF YOU EVER DISGRACE THE BELT AGAIN, I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD ON A STAKE!! (not really, so don't turn me in - this all a joke and if you need counseling after reading this I will take care of it) THE BELT IS AN HONOR - YOU SHOWCASE IT WITH PRIDE!

Result: Biggus Dickus wins
Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-5) v Hernandez Hit Men (3-4)

This is one of the few matchups that actually involved both teams scoring over 100 points. Just let that sink in, there are two matchups with both teams scoring over 100 points... TWO!!! I also can't believe that a team with Elliott and Brissett scoring in the upper 20's didn't manage to pull out the win. Hernandez Hit Men's wide receivers have stepped up and carried his team to victory. To be honest, HHM scored about on par with where they should score - it just seems that the fantasy football depression has hit everyone else but them. If a depression hits, you need to be the most defensive - just like the Chiefs defense, who needed to step-up with the Mahomes injury hitting home.

Result: Hernandez Hit Men wins
Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins... RIGHT!!

....And Your Johnson (1-6) v Dixie Normous (5-2)

Yeah, I just don't get it. Maybe it is the new name? How does Dixie Normous continue to skate by with playing teams that constantly find themselves near the bottom of the scoring each week. I guess he would rather be lucky than good - then again, who doesn't love getting lucky? On the flip side, there are plenty of issues with Johnson. Without Mahomes and nobody really available on the waiver wire - what do you do? You either hang your head and realize that the dream is over; or you make a couple moves and try and squeak into the playoffs with a completely reloaded team. The choice is yours...

Result: Dixie Normous wins
Prediction: Dixie Normous wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous wins... RIGHT!!

Massive TD's (3-4) v Hoosier Daddy* (4-3)

This is the classic matchup between a team with depth and a team of "studs and duds." TD's had a good performance from nearly everybody, with the exception of D. Williams who really felt the blow of losing Mahomes. Andrews has had better weeks - but he can still be considered a top tight end. On the flip side, Jackson/Waller/Murray all had huge weeks! Everybody else struggled, Hoosier Daddy even had to deal with -9 from the Lions defense. Lazard clearly did not cash-in on the amazing week he had last week; Singletary is still working his back to form from injury and the entire Philadelphia offense looked completely lost against Dallas. Nonetheless, when you have three players that really step and combine to score 86 points in a down week - you are sitting pretty....

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins
Prediction: Massive TD's wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas (4-3) v The J-Bones (2-5)

And I quote: "I seem to think that The J-Bones have the lineup to win and yet it never happens. Maybe I am the reason they keep losing. Well, here is my gift to you - I won't jinx you this time."

'Nuff said.

Result: The J-Bones wins
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!

Season Record: 26-16
Mystery Guest: 23-19, plus a bonus point for predicting the correct belt winner!!

Sidenote to all: Do not simply skip over the warning towards our previous belt owner - this is a belt of honor! Display it with pride!

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