Playoffs - Week 1

As I sit here and look out into the world, I begin to fear. There are many issues with the world; water is no longer wet, it is not longer cool to try hard at things, TikTok is cool again, and everyone has some kind of issue that prevents them from doing anything functional. Essentially, this future generation sucks... big time. I look around and I just think about what is happening to people and I ask myself.... "What I this bad?" There is a good chance I was, but I like to think that I wasn't quite as dumb and moronic as some.

Whenever you get in a funk like this and you begin to dwell on things that suck, you need to adjust your focus and find something that doesn't suck. For some it is running - they get that odd euphoria whenever their lungs are about to burst and their legs burn. I don't get it, but if it works for them. For some it is sitting at home with your pants off. You know the feeling, when you are completely alone and you don't have anything to worry about. Maybe you got a cool libation in one hand and your other hand is occupied - you know the feeling. For others, it is Fantasy Football. They get off on their team and how good they look. This is commonly referred to as "rosterbating." You can't help but touch yourself when you look at your team and their chances in the playoffs.

Whichever category you fall into, find a way to be happy and ignore all the suck in the world right now. Now if you will excuse me for a second, I have to go rosterbate in the faculty bathroom....

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Well, that was faster than expected - let's jump straight into the playoff matchups....

Matchup of the Week

5. Hoosier Daddy vs 4. Dixie Normous

Let's be honest, this is the playoffs - every matchup is a big matchup and every matchup could be Matchup of the Week. However, this matchup has the best chance at an upset to happen - not to say others won't happen, but in this matchup the lower seed (Hoosier Daddy) has a few things trending...

1. Hoosier Daddy has scored the 2nd most points in the league and their is a good chance when it is all said and done, they may end with the most points in the league.

2. Hoosier Daddy has 7 players that are facing against either Washington, NYG, or Cincinnati - those three teams have a combined 6-30 record.

3. Lamar Jackson is not one of those players - which means the MVP and 7 players who have comfy matchups are going to go off this week!

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins, belt winner

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins

1. Wings of Dickarus v 8. Biggus Dickus

At one point in the season, it looked like Biggus Dickus was going to be the team to beat. At one point in the season, it looked like Wings of Dickarus was going to be the team to beat. Now? Neither team looks incredibly tough and both teams limped into the playoffs. Yes, that is odd to read - the number one seed limped into the playoffs. Wings still leads the league in points scored, but with an injury scare looming of D. Cook and not much else in terms of running backs - Wings is relying upon his pass catchers to carry the load. On the flip side, Biggus went from being a 97% playoff lock - to fighting for his spot to make the playoffs. If Biggus wants to pull of the upset, someone is going to need to step up and score 20+ points (might need a few players).

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins

Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins

2. PEN15 Wrinkle v 7. Hernandez Hit Men

If there was another matchup that featured a high chance at an upset - this would be it. PEN15 Wrinkle was one substitute away from being knocked out of the playoffs. Instead, they are the number 2 seed in a playoff bracket that could see every top seeded team lose. On the flip side, Hernandez Hit Men come into the playoffs riding high - scoring more than 120 points in three of the past four weeks. The roster looks loaded with number one players on mediocre teams - which is vital when it comes to a fantasy playoff run. Look for this one to end up with the 7tb seed moving on....

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins

3. Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas v 6. Florida State Seminal Vesicle

This matchup features two teams that have both held the belt twice, one currently holds the belt. Featuring one of the most consistent teams, FSSV has only scored below 110 points twice this season. To match that, FSSV has scored more than 125 points six times. This is a scary team that is headed by a player that should be MVP (if he wasn't a running back) - RUN CMC. On the flip side, ARBL currently holds the belt and has one of the hottest wide receivers, D. Parker. However, FSSV has already beaten ARBL once (week 2) and they will be looking to stay undefeated against them...

Prediction: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

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