Since this is Election Week (I am also starting this on Election Day) I figured I could start of with the best political joke I have ever heard - everyone knows how politically involved I am. Are you ready for it?
.....
.........
Women Voting
Yes, I know - a real banger of a joke. It is like they think they have brains or something. I mean come on - do they know? Well, I guess technically they would not know because their brains are too small to comprehend anything. Sometimes I wonder if one side of the government fought for them to vote because they thought their slanted news shows could sway such intelligently lacking people. Turns out, they ended up swaying everyone who just thought they were women.
Playoff Percentages:
1. Asymmetric TD's: 6-2, 99%
Until somebody is able to knock of the big swinging tits, they will keep a wrangle on the top spot. They have almost clinched a spot in the playoffs, and they have a one game lead in their division.
2. Remember the Redskins: 6-2, 99%
RtR is pretty much in the same spot as ATD's - and they welcome back the number one overall pick. I give both the top two teams one or two weeks before they have clinched their spot in the playoffs and possibly even their division.
3. Hernandez Hit Men: 5-3, 65%
The next two teams happen to be in the same boat, their record looks good - but their scoring output does not match. HHM actually sits 12th in points scored - but still ranks 3rd in standings. Thank-you scheduling!
4. Penis Fly Trap: 5-3, 65%
Read "Hernandez Hit Men" and replaced "sits 12th" with "sits 13th."
5. iTouchdown There: 4-4, 75%
iTouchdown there has a very solid team with Cook now the anchor. The bigger question - can they continue to rely on one player to have huge week?
6. The J-Bones: 4-4, 60%
The J-Bones got a much needed win last week to stop the skid and are looking to build upon it. It is going to be rough this upcoming week with their matchup against a top team.
7. Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams: 4-4, 70%
ARBL was apart of a big trade that should help out their lineup for the future. This is when it is time to see if the move was worth it or not.
8. 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp: 4-4, 55%
2G1C is in the log jam of 4-4 and every week will be vital to the elongation of life in the playoff push. This week 2G1C faces a bottom tier team, but also will be searching for a QB.
9. 3rd and 41: 3-5, 50%
3A41 have scored the 4th most points, but currently sits outside looking in. Fantasy Football can be a motherf*cker, can't it?
10. Dixie Normous: 3-5, 40%
Dixie has struggled to get anything going in their attempt to three peat - are they running out of gas?
11. Solo Driving Asians: 3-5, 40%
SDA has a roster that could easily make a run, but this is put-up or shut-up time.... it could a final nail in the coffin or catapult him right into the thick of things.
12. Bluffton Backup Backups: 3-5, 35%
It has been a rough year for BBB - but that is not to say it is over. There might still be a few miracles left, and the ole Wizard could probably just shut down the entire internet if he didn't make the playoffs.
13. Ankle Holster: 3-5, 35%
Ever since Barkley went down, it has not gone well. Can anyone do well when they are banking on one player and they get injured? Ask the better Vanderkolk.
14. PEN15 Wrinkle: 3-5, 30%
It was stated at the draft, as the 49ers go - so will Wrinkle. Well, the 49ers have been facing injury woes - thus Wrinkle has been struggling.
On the bright side, we are getting closer to the point when scenarios will matter and teams will begin to get eliminated - who doesn't love this sh*t!
Matchup of the Week
Remember the Redskins (6-2) v Hernandez Hit Men* (5-3)
Here we go, Russell Wilson and the squad now welcomes Run CMC - which is bad news for the rest of the league. DK has obviously made his impact on the league and is going to be a superstar for years to come. On the flip side, HHM still has a strong running back department - Connors/Henry - but after that there is going to be a struggle to score points. If RtR can have a normal output of points and welcome back Run CMC, this one should be in the bag!
Prediction: Remember the Redskins wins
Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins
Penis Fly Trap (5-3) v 3rd and 41* (3-5)
There are two trends that taking place....
Penis Fly Trap has yet to lose when they are listed as the home team on ESPN (5-0).
3rd and 41 has yet to lose with a team with a winning record (3-0).
This is when an unstoppable force vs the unmovable object - which will win? Which team is which in this scenario? Nobody really knows...
Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins
Mystery Guest: 3rd and 41 wins
Bluffton Backup Backups (3-5) v Aaron Rodgers Blows L's (4-4)
There are a few big matchups for teams and their future in the playoff push - this is a big one. ARBL made a move to bring in Hopkins and now he is going to rely on Montgomery and Fournette in the running back department. It is a move that could solidify this team for the playoffs, but this is the week it needs to pay-off. On the flip side, BBB has been up and down and faces a few tough matchups this week. Jackson takes on a top defense (Indy) and like wise for Hines (Baltimore). It is going to take big games from Allen and Jones in order to keep up with ARBL - something I just don't see happening.
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... and takes the belt!
Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins
Asymmetric TD's** (6-2) v The J-Bones** (4-4)
In the battle for the middle school - does anyone see this going any other way? The J-Bones looked like a dominate team, but with the loss of Dak and AJones has not been playing recently - the struggle has been real. With 4 belts between the two of them, this looks like a battle between two heavyweights champs - but there is only one team that still looks like a heavyweight champ. Mahomes and Kamara have been the best players in fantasy football not named Russell Wilson - look for them to continue their domination and lock up the victory.
Prediction: Asymmetric TD's wins
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones win
Ankle Holster* (3-5) v Dixie Normous (3-5)
Let me put it this way... Elliott is on a terrible team. Scott is on a bye. Bernard is on a bye. Wilkins is the only other available running back. Soooooo, Dixie is going to trot out Elliott (Dallas is garbage) and Wilkins??? Efff that, you might as well supply the lube while you are at it.
Prediction: Ankle Holster wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins and takes the belt!
PEN15 Wrinkle (3-5) v iTouchdown There* (4-4)
There is really not much that can be said when one team is placing in the top 3 every week and the other team is placing in the bottom 3 every week. This has the makings of being the biggest margin of victory for the week. I feel bad for the guy, when his NFL team is awful (injuries) and now his fantasy team is awful - somebody put him on "Grau during basketball season" watch.
Prediction: iTouchdown There wins
Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins
2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (4-4) v Solo Driving Asians (3-5)
2G1C has a very consistent lineup from the top down. The only issue is whether or not he plays against someone who has a player who happens to go off. Adams has had two huge weeks in a row and now plays on Thursday Night Football - maybe not the best recipe for a big week. Outside of Adams - it looks like tough lineups or shitty players across the board for SDA - gonna need to be put on life support after this week!
Prediction: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins
Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins
I wish you all good luck, except for you 3rd and 41, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash, eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!
No comments:
Post a Comment