What a fantastic twist of events, we are privy to the most beautiful golf major around - right smack in the middle of the season. Just for fun...
Remember the Redskins = Dustin Johnson, when he is at best - he is unbeatable. Other times, it looks like he just doesn't care.
Asymmetric TD's = Current Bryson Dechambeau, the sheer power from the top point getters (Mahomes/Kamara) makes his path to the goal easier - the rest is a little shaky, but good enough to secure the win.
iTouchdown There = Colin Morikawa, the new kid on the block has made his mark with big wins at big moments.
2 Gurleys 1 Cupp = Tommy Fleetwood, quietly putting together a good season - with consistent scoring.... and that hair flow is on point.
The J-Bones = Brendan Todd, started off the season on fire - struggled to maintain the ship, but beginning to find the balance
Hernandez Hit Men = Phil Mickelson, high expectations and fans expect so much from him - but rarely meets expectations
Penis Fly Trap = Rickie Fowler, looks good - quick talker - but never really performs the way he should
3rd and 41 = Luke Donald, amazing resume - plenty of great weeks, but never really able to get the needed win come playoff time
Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams = Matthew Wolff, alllll the potential in the world - a monster off the tee, just wait till he puts it all together
Bluffton Backup Backups = Early Bryson Dechambeau, a scientist of the game, finding the calculations needed to try and create success
Dixie Normous = Jack Nicklaus, when it comes down to winning majors - there may not be anyone better, but people still argue whether or not he is the greatest
Ankle Holster = Eddie Pepperell, ever follow this guy on Twitter? Not afraid to let his voice be heard, plenty of opinions to go around
Solo Driving Asians = Matt Kuchar, consistently not the worst - and gee golly that is just okay by him
PEN15 Wrinkle = Jason Day, could have been a baaaaaadddd man on tour - but injuries derail his career so quickly
Let's jump to the good stuff...
Matchup of the Week
Penis Fly Trap (5-4) v PEN15 Wrinkle (3-6)
Yes, there will be complaints - "How is that the MotW???" "You biased piece of shit!" Well, you know what... yeah, I got nothing. This is actually the MotW for a few reasons...
A) This is a battle of the cellar dwellers (in terms of points scored) and it is good to shine the light in the corners, every once and while.
B) All the sh*t that has been written about PEN15 and this is a chance for them to get a win and burn this mother down!
C) I write the blog, so I do what I want!
Prediction: Penis FlyTrap wins
Mystery Guest: Penis FlyTrap wins
The J-Bones** (5-4) v Bluffton Backup Backups (4-5)
This is a very crucial matchup for both squads. A loss this week and it is a major shot to the heart of the playoff chances - although both could survive it would be extremely difficult. The J-Bones will be looking for big weeks from their running backs and I for one think that it is going to happen. When you've had an accident and you need points this week, call the law firm of "Jacobs and Jones" and we will provide the best support we can. On the flip side, Lamar has not been the Lamar of last season - but a decent showing this week and Allen can have another big week, this could be a tough one.
Prediction: The J-Bones win
Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups wins
Dixie Normous (3-6) v Asymmetric TD's** (6-3)
Last week was fluke - but this week may be tough for the titties. Mahomes and Gurley are both on a bye and the starting kicker is also on a bye. If Dixie wants to squeak into the playoffs, this is the week to start winning! A loss here would all but eliminate Winn Dixie. They are going to need to find a suitable replacement for Elliott this week, but I think that can be done and they should be able to pull off the upset!
Prediction: Dixie Normous wins
Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous wins
iTouchdown There* (5-4) v Ankle Holster* (5-4)
This is a very big matchup between two teams sitting at 5-4. iTouchdown might be welcoming back Nick Chubb, which gives them one of the best 1-2 punches in the running back department. If one of the wide receivers can have a "boom" week - this team should easily earn the victory. On the flip side, what are the chances Brady sucks again? Ankle Holster might be looking at a great bounce back week for Brady, which also means a good week from Gronkowski. Will it be enough? Nahhhhhhhh.....
Prediction: iTouchdown There wins.... and earns the belt!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins.... and takes home the belt!
Remember the Redskins* (7-2) v 3rd and 41* (4-5)
This entire matchup hinges on whether or not Run CMC plays - if he does, RtR will win. If he doesn't, 3rd and 41 will win. I am going to say he does play and RtR does win. Although, RtR does have a winning record - and we all know how that goes with 3rd and 41. This would be a terrible time for the streak to end - a win is crucial to 3rd and 41's playoff hopes.
Prediction: Remember the Redskins wins
Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins
Solo Driving Asians (3-6) v Hernandez Hit Men* (5-4)
There are career ending hits, and then there is the Johnny Knox hit. This week is the Johnny Knox hit to Solo Driving Asians, just imagine Knox's back is the playoff hopes and it doesn't end well....
This is a huuuuuge game. Both of these teams have playoff contending rosters - but only one can win in this vital matchup. ARBL has the best wide receiving group in fantasy football, nobody wants to face-off against Thomas/Hopkins/Godwin. On the flip side, 2G1C has quietly been one of the most consistent teams in the league. This matchup is going to be good and who knows, who is going to win?!? I do.... I know.
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins
Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins
I wish you all good luck, except for you PEN15 Wrinkle, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash, eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!
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