EOS Results

It is finally here - the End of the Season! We have a few things to go through: Season Awards, Week 14 Results, Playoff Bracket Predictions - everything bundled in 1 post.... why? Because I f*ckin' can!

Awards

MVP: Travis Kelce, TE: Hoosier Daddy

If you don't know yet, Travis Kelce is far and away the top TE this season in fantasy football. In fact, he would have finished scoring 257 points, which would have made him the 5th wide receiver overall. This not what made him stand apart though, it was his PAR (Points Above Replacement). He averaged 19.8 points... the 2nd TE averaged 13.2 points. Kelce outscored the 2nd TE by 100 points over the course of the season.... WTF?!?!?!? There has never been a more dominate season by a player in respective to their own position. 

Steal of the Draft: Justin Fields, QB: Ayahuasca Dreamer

This has been a tough year for this award. Here is the dilemma Fields was drafted at the end of the 11th round... 154th overall. He finished the season as a top 5 QB. Seems simple enough, right? Well, Fields also was dropped by Ayahuasca Dreamer, picked up by Hoosier Daddy, then dropped by Hoosier Daddy, then finally picked up and found a home with ETN. So does he really count as the STD if he was dropped that many times? My argument: If I told you that with the 154th overall pick, you would be able to find a top PRK player (not Kicker or Defense) - you call me a liar. 

Waiver Wire Pick-Up: Christian Watson, WR: OBJs in the Stands

Since OBJ picked up Watson, he averaged 23.8 points in the 4 games he played. You tell me who couldn't use that kind of production? Not to mention, Watson never scored less than 20 points each week. He has become the number one target in Green Bay and I don't care what you say about Rodgers - he can still supply plenty of targets to his new favorite receiver. 

Trade of the Year: Josh Jacobs, RB for Deandre Hopkins, WR: The Cochness Monsters/Gruden's Email

Obviously, if you are one of the 5 people who actually read this blog - then you know that Josh Jacobs has been going absolutely nuts at the end of the year. Jacobs has finished the season as the number 1 RB and averaged more than 20 points a week. On the flip side, Hopkins has had a good season (when he returned from his suspension). Hopkins finished the season.... 

Team to Beat: Hoosier Daddy

Let's be honest, this is Hoosier Daddy's year. They have the top QB, two top 10 RB's, a top 10 WR, the top TE, - that one helluva lineup. It going to take a terrible combination of a bad week for Hoosier and good week for their opponent.... even then - it might not be enough. They finished the season with 4 belt-wins and a 3-peat belt run. Will anybody be able to knock them off the path to the 'ship???

Week 14 Results

Matchup of the Week

Hoosier Daddy****(10-4) v OBJs in the Stands** (6-8)

This win solidified what has been a tremendous year for Hoosier Daddy. They win the regular season (getting their money back) and setting them up for a run in the playoffs. They will be looking to ride the coattails of their Fantasy MVP Travis Kelce and number 1 ranked QB J. Hurts. On top of that, this also knocked OBJs out of the running and cleared the way for a few teams to sneak in the playoffs. Unfortunately, this is the end for OBJ - who actually had a solid season, two belt wins is nothing to shake your head at. However, they just couldn't put it together in the end and, C'YA B*TCH!!

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

The Cochness Monsters (7-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-9)

Remember when I said that the win in the MotW knocked out OBJs and cleared the way for a couple other teams.... hello Cochness. They sneak in the playoffs and find themselves even in the 7th seed - avoiding Hoosier Daddy... which is extremely important. No team should be overlooked, especially TCM - who have the number 2 and number 3 running backs... officially making them the deadliest tandem in the league. On the flip side, PEN15 had a chance to get back The Cochs... but instead they started multiple players on their byes. Not a good look, shame shame shame!!

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The Cochenss Monsters... RIGHT!!

Side Set TDs (9-5) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (7-7)

You want to know who else needed to win this week? Ayahuasca Dreamer. This lost knocked them out of the playoffs and they finish as the 10th seed.... all because of points scored. Sooooooo thank-you Titties - although I am always in the mood to thank titties..... let's be fair, who doesn't love a good set of titties?!? Side Set moves into the playoffs and they will be Not Big Red; this is set-up to be one of the closest matchups for round 1!!!

Prediction: Side Set TDs... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Side Set TDs... RIGHT!!

Watson's Happy Ending** (9-5) v The J-Bones* (8-6)

This matchup worked out exactly as it needed to for The J-Bones. They won the belt and they secured the 2nd seed in the playoffs. This is important because it puts them far away from Hoosier Daddy - the team to beat in the playoffs. They have the number 1 running back and the number 5 running back... the only question: Is Trevor Lawrence going to be enough to replace Kyler Murray? On the flip side, Happy Ending finishes at 9-5 and finds themselves competing in the playoffs. They also drop down to the 3 seed - which is just as good as being a 2 seed since it also puts them on the other side of the bracket from Hoosier Daddy!

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (7-7) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-7)

This matchup was a big one, especially for ARBL! They get a needed win and the right teams lost as they snuck into the playoffs as the 8th seed. The interesting part? They face Hoosier Daddy; these teams made a huge trade mid-season and now they face each other in the playoffs.... let's see who played the long game! BBB.... it has been a good season - one full of laughter and excitement - but alas.... your sh*tty team did not make the playoffs. Honestly, it would have been funny if they did and then somehow just kept beating teams..... reminiscent of The Cooler.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (4-10) v ETN out your Grandma** (7-7)

Not going to lie - this one probably hurts the most. ETN was a top team and was primed to make the playoffs, instead they finish the season 1-4 and get knocked out. Think about it like this... in week 11 when I started the playoff predictions - they were 95% chance to make the playoffs, 95%!!!! Yet, somehow they managed to sh*t the bed and then sleep in it... y'all are bunch of Poop Sleepers! Ankle Holster managed to get a win, even when they were already out of the running. The respect for the game is admirable and we all (TCM and ARBL) thank-you for your service!

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Not Big Red** (7-7) v Gruden Email Editor* (7-7)

Welcome to playoffs... to the both of you! Check this out though, NBR actually leap-frogged Gruden based on points scored. They finished the season roughly 33 points ahead of Gruden and beat Gruden this week by 37 points. Was it all just a sneaky play by Gruden? By getting leap-frogged it moves NBR in the same side as Hoosier Daddy and Gruden drops to the lower side of the bracket... big brain play??

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red.... RIGHT!!

Season: 56-42

Mystery Guest: 45-53

It was respectable.... but I see that you will supplying my drink of choice!!

Now it is time for the Playoff Bracket Prediction....

This season I will attempting to correctly predict the entire playoff bracket.... let's make love in this mothafu*cka!

I know the picture quality is terrible, but it is what it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Round 1:

1) Hoosier Daddy v 8) Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

            Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

4) Side Set TDs v 5) Not Big Red

            Prediction: Not Big Red

3) Watson's Happy Ending v 6) Gruden Email Editor

            Prediction: Gruden Email Editor

2) The J-Bones v 7) The Cochness Monsters

            Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Round 1 Notes:

A) Hoosier Daddy continues the streak of dominance

B) Upsets happen in both the both bracket matchups - injuries and luck will play a factor.

C) NBR v Titties will end up the closest matchup

Round 2:

1) Hoosier Daddy v 5) Not Big Red

            Prediction: Not Big Red

6) Gruden Email Editor v 7) The Cochness Monsters

            Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Round 2 Notes:

A) NBR is propelled by their LAC pass catchers as they welcome a comfy matchup against Indianapolis

B) The Cochness Monsters' RBs continue to carry the load and J Herbert has a huge week

Championship:

5) Not Big Red v 7) The Cochness Monsters

            Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Championship Notes:

A) IT IS THE YEAR OF THE COCK!!

With Love

Commish

Week 14 Predictions

No farting around here... we are getting straight to the matchups that matter and what is at stake...

Matchup of the Week

Hoosier Daddy**** (9-4) v OBJs in the Stands** (6-7)

There are much more enticing matchups - but Hoosier Daddy has won the belt 3 times in a row and to be fairly honest, they could do it a 4th. At some point, we need to recognize the utter dominance that Hoosier is putting on.

Scenarios:

Hoosier Wins: Seals the deal for the 1 seed and all its glory. 

Hoosier Loss: Could still win the 1 seed if Watson's Happy Ending loses, if Hoosier loses and Watson loses then Hoosier would drop down to the 3rd seed

OBJs Loss: Out of the playoffs

OBJs Wins: Should make the playoffs based on any kind of tie-breaker, if Gruden/ETN/JBones/Dreamer all lose - OBJ could move up to the 2nd seed.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

The Cochness Monsters (6-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-9)

TCM needs a win and it wouldn't be any more poetic than for PEN15 to knock them out of the playoffs. After years and years of ridicule - this would be some kind of justice for the Wrinkle.

TCM Wins: Would be thrusted in a probable tie-breaker with teams and will need to win the tie-breaker. Essentially, needs to win and score more points multiple teams - best chances are Dreamer and ETN losing.

TCM Loss: Cya, goodbye, Hasta-Lasagna Don't Get Any On Ya!

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: The Cochness Monsters

Nothing matters for PEN15 - they are already out of the running.

Side Set TDs (8-5) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (7-6)

This is a much bigger matchup for Dreamer than it is for Titties. Titties is already in the playoffs and can not be removed - they also can't really move up... they could be past, but there is a high chance that they will end up in the 5/4 matchup. Dreamer needs to win to clear themselves from any type of tie-breaker.

Titties Wins: They will stay put in the 4th seed.

Titties Loses: They will stay put in the 4th seed or drop to the 5th/6th seed - most likely scenario is that they stay in the 4/5 matchup.

Dreamer Wins: They will get to 8 wins and should stay clear of the inevitable clusterf*ck that is going to happen at 7-7.

Dreamer Loses: They will wind up in the mess of teams that are tied for the final few spots... and they don't have a good chance at winning most tie-breakers.

Prediction: Side Set TDs

Mystery Guest: Side Set TDs

Watson's Happy Ending** (9-4) v The J-Bones (7-6)

Things could not be looking better for The J-Bones... I mean they could be playing a different team, but at least Watson doesn't have Jackson at QB anymore. This matchup does represent the most enticing matchup and would make for a great MotW if there wasn't a team that was going crazy and scoring tons of points. 

Happy Ending Wins: They get the 1 seed if Hoosier loses, they stay as the 3 seed with a win and Hoosier winning.

Happy Ending Loses: Most likely will still finish as the 3 seed - we are talking like 95% chance to stay as the 3 seed.

J-Bones Wins: Will get the 2 seed for winning his division... unless Gruden wins and scores 90 points more than J-Bones.

J-Bones Loses: Should still make the playoffs... with a tie-breaker - they are 90 points than anyone else. The only way they don't make the playoffs is if they lose all other current 7-6 teams win and somehow two other 6-7 teams win and beat them in a tie-breaker.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Bluffton Backup Backups (6-7) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (6-7)

This is a matchup between two teams that need to win to stay alive, lose and you are definitely out of the playoffs. Win and you get a chance - not definitely in... but you still get a chance.

Either team Loses: Out of the playoffs...

BBB Wins: Need a lot of luck, not likely to get in - they need to beat a lot of teams with a tie-breaker... which they are losing by a lot.

ARBL Wins: They need multiples teams to lose and they need to outscore those teams by 30+ points - best chance is Dreamer/TCM/ETN lose and they outscore TCM/ETN by 20 points.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Ankle Holster (3-10) v ETN out your Grandma** (7-6)

Wellllll, Holster is probably the worst team in the league, buuuuuut ETN has Taylor on the bye this week. Things could get really interesting with ETN.

Holster can't do anything Win or Lose

ETN Wins: They are in the playoffs - all that matters is that they make it to the show... but if the rest of the 7-6 teams in their division lose, they could end up with the 2nd seed.

ETN Loses: They fall into the tie-breaker and as it stands right now - they are losing to OBJ/NBR and they are 2 points ahead of TCM.... they need to win.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Not Big Red (6-7) v Gruden Email Editor* (7-6)

This is also a very enticing matchup in terms of determining who will make the playoffs and who will not. There is seeding implications and making the playoff implications - essentially there is everything you could ever want in a final week matchup... right here.... for free

NBR Wins: They move into the tie-breaker at 7-7, which they hold a lead over some of teams and things get pretty interesting.

NBR Loses: They are out of the playoffs - it is going to take at least 7 wins to get in, there is even a scenario where only one 7-7 team gets in.

Email Wins: They are in the playoffs and they would essentially find themselves in the 4/5 matchup, unless they outscore The J-Bones by 90 points.

Email Loses: They drop to the 7-7 mess and find themselves in a tie-breaker... which they currently hold a 30+ point lead over a majority of the teams.

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you PEN15 Wrinkle, may your entire team burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

With Love

Commish

Week 13 Results

Alright.... sooooo this past weekend I was at a wedding for a college buddy. Me and couple other college friends went to a casino and on our way back we walked past a group of 5-6 people. Someone from a good distance started charging at the group and was yelling at them, "I'M COMING... WAIT FOR ME!!!"

Naturally, a few things crossed my mind...

A) It takes a bold man to yell out loud in public - "I'M COMING!!" I mean there are a multitude of other ways you can phrase that. Is the actual phrase innocent and pure? Yes. Has it been corrupted? You betcha. There are a lot of things that have been corrupted that you can no longer yell, but once could. Things like, "Go fetch me a couple of faggots!" This once would have meant to go grab a few bundle of sticks. Now, someone might be bringing some flameboys that are ready to pass out blahs like candy.

B) If I was that group I am leaving that dude as quickly as possible. If you can't keep up with the herd you deserve to be hunted and eaten. Given, if that group was my friend group - there is a good chance I am the one yelling, making a scene, and trying to catch-up. Doesn't matter, it is your responsibility to keep up and pay attention or you are lost. The group should leave that faggot ass and his moonboots behind.

C) Every time I am somewhere that is not apart of my usual everyday routine, I always think, "If a battle royal broke out - how you are going to win?" I gotta think, where are weapons that I can grab and who do I take out first. When I looked back at the group, I sized them up very quickly and came up with a plan if they tried to jump us. Yup, my brain is f*cked up.

Let's get to the matchups...

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (7-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups (6-7)

This was a much needed win, no doubt about it. It may surprise you, but Ekeler and Barkley were not the top scorers for The J-Bones, no, no - it was the Defense that scored 31 points and really put the hammer down. On the flip side, BBB is in a world of hurt after this loss. Not only do the Colts look bad - they are bye next week going into the final and must week for BBB. To be fair, BBB would have actually beaten 2 other teams this week - which should say something about the fantasy football economic recession that we are in at this given juncture.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

The Cochness Monsters (6-7) v Ankle Holster (3-10)

Let's just keep this simple and sweet - we all knew this was coming. Say what you will about TCM and their record, but they might be one of the hottest teams in the league the past few weeks. For Holster, it doesn't really matter - Cam Akers made him his money back by narrowly edging out a player who has been injured since week 4!

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Gruden Email Editor* (7-6) v Side Set TDs (8-5)

I guess if you are going to lose, you may as well get your bad week out of the way! Email was missing Hopkins and nearly half their team points came from Burrow - which is never a good recipe for success. On the flip side, this seals the deal for Side Set - who will be dancing in the playoffs! It does turn the heat up a little for Emails - a win in week 14 gets them in and a loss with a lot of points should still get them in.

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden Email Editor... WRONG!!

Ayahuasca Dreamer (7-6) v Watson's Happy Ending** (9-4)

Things could not have gone worse for Watson's this week. They lost to the Zoot Palace, they lost their hold on the 1 seed, they lost their starting QB. Luckily, the addition of Perine has been amazing for them and they have been able to still score points - just not enough the week the Dreamer is in town! Diggs and McLaurin carried the load each scoring more than 20 points. Think Rodgers gave them some of his Magic Pills?

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodger's Blows Llams (6-7) v Hoosier Daddy**** (9-4)

Should we just crown Hoosier Daddy now? Some people may begin to ask the question: If the Eagles continue to win and they have a lock on the 1 seed in the NFC, would they sit Hurts the last two weeks? That shouldn't happen, especially with the Vikings hot on their tail - but he is the engine that drives this team. He is most likely the NFL MVP, barring anything tragic. On top of Hurts, Hoosier also always seems to get someone else show up at the right time and we have our first ever 3-peat belt winner. Outwardly we are clapping - but inwardly we are all hoping for injuries.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

OBJs in the Stands** (6-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-9)

I will be honest, this was a lot closer than I would have liked. OBJ needs to win out to stand a chance to get into the playoffs - this one should have been the easy win - next week they play Hoosier Daddy. PEN15 almost pulled off the upset... they just needed a little better effort out of Gibson or Patterson. Even Mahomes could have helped out a little more. Instead, OBJs hopes stay alive and they have to decide if they squad is good enough to take down the almighty Hoosier Daddy.

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... RIGHT!!

ETN out your Grandma** (7-6) v Not Big Red* (6-7)

Things could not have gone better for ETN this week: Big win, K. Allen is looking like he is getting to full health, and AJ Brown pretty locked up the bet against D. Smith. Overall, not a lot to complain about for ETN. On the flip side, NBR has some work to do to make the playoffs. I don't want to say anything, but that pesky TCM team is creeping up on them and they need to do something about it. NBR will face-off with Gruden next week - a must-win.

Prediction: ETN out your Grandma... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red... WRONG!!

Season Predictions: 50-41

Mystery Guest: 38-53

With Love

Commish

AJB: 206 points

D. Smith: 154.1 points

J. Williams: 42 points

C. Akers: 54.2 points.... finally passed him - good win for the bad guys!

Week 13 Predictions

Two weeks.

A lot can change in two weeks. Think about this Luke Wilson caught the early flight back from a business trip and found his girlfriend getting tag-teamed by two blindfolded people. He then had to pop a goofy looking dude who ready to party....

Anything can happen.

Let's see where we stand right now in the Race for Eight.

Locked IN                          Muddied Waters                There's always next year

Watson's Happy Ending        The J-Bones                            Ankle Holster

Hoosier Daddy?                  ARBL                                      PEN15 Wrinkle

Gruden Email Editor           ETN out your Grandma                                 

Side Set TDs                     Ayahuasca Dreamer

                                      Not Big Red

                                      Bluffton Backup Backups

                                      OBJs in the Stands

                                      The Cochness Monsters

Things to note....

A) Gruden Email Editor and Side Set TDs could still technically not make the playoffs... but it would take something truly crazy (like winning the Powerball and then getting struck by lightning on the way to cash the ticket crazy) for that to happen.

B) There are 4 teams with records above 6-6, 6 teams with records of 6-6... 10 teams only 8 spots.

C) OBJs has the 3rd most points in the league and currently sits at 11th in the standings... ROUGH!!

D) The Cochness Monsters started off the predictions in the same position they are in now.... HOWEVER, they preceded to beat 2 top-level teams and now have the easiest ending to the season of the teams in the Muddied Waters. Did I just jinx them? Yes. Yes I did.

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (6-6) v Bluffton Backup Backups (6-6)

This is a HUGE matchup for both these teams. After this week, The J-Bones play Watson's Happy Ending - which is not a team you want to be facing with you back against the wall needing a win. The J-Bones need to get a win this week or it could spell disaster. Luckily, Ekeler and Barkley both have friendly matchups this week and T-Lawrence is facing a team that has given up the most fantasy points against a QB this season. On the flip side, BBB needs a win this week because half their team is on bye the following week. Whichever team loses in this MotW - is going to have a tough fight to try and get in the playoffs.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

The Cochness Monsters (5-7) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

To be fair, usually at this point in the season I lock the teams that are out of the playoffs and dead in the water. Full Transparency, I completely forgot about it this year. Ankle Holster made a move it is going to make his team tougher to beat. My own fault, I own that - but a wise man once said, "You give a man everything they want before you bury them in their own coffin." If McCaffrey and Jacobs play this week - TCM is running through this sh*t.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Gruden Email Editor* (7-5) v Side Set TDs (7-5)

In all fairness, this would have been one helluva Matchup of the Week. If you read the beginning of the post, you have noticed that these teams are "Locked IN" - but not actually locked in. One of them would need to lose both weeks and get outscored by other teams that tie them. However, win and you are in.... YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!! Titties would have won last week if not for a miraculous effort from Josh Jacobs. Now they face a tough Gruden team and things get a little more interesting. They get even more interesting when San Fran. loses their backup RB (Mitchell) - which essentially makes a role for Debo to run with the ball (similar to last year). This gives Gruden a trio of Waddle/Thielen/Samuel at WR and a trio of Singletary/Walker/Samuel at RB. Tough to beat... 

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor

Mystery Guest: Gruden Email Editor

Ayahuasca Dreamer (6-6) v Watson's Happy Ending** (9-3)

Let's keep this matchup plain and simple.... Mark Andrews has gone 6 straight weeks without a touchdown. He is due for a huge game... Jackson and Andrews combine for over 50 points this week and they bring Watson's Happy Ending one step closer locking up the number 1 seed in the playoffs.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (6-6) v Hoosier Daddy**** (8-4)

This might be more of a "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" situation here. Hoosier Daddy has won back-to-back belts and the week before that they lost by 2 points... to the number one team that week. There has never been a 3-peat in terms of belt wins - will we see it this week? If you just meander through the lineup of Hoosier Daddy you will notice one thing in common - all comfy matchups. Look for Hoosier Daddy to win and make a run at the first ever 3-peat belt winner. On the flip side, ARBL will desperately need win after this week, the gift for playing the hottest team in the league right now? You get to play BBB next week when the Indianapolis Colts are on bye.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

OBJs in the Stands** (5-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-8)

One thing is for certain, OBJ can score points - as stated early they are 3rd in the league points. However, they sit at 5-7 and currently outside the playoff cut-line. They need to win this week and they play one of the teams that is already out of the playoffs. PEN15 has a line-up that could score some points, and they should give OBJs a run for their money. You know what, F*CK IT - PENIS CUNTRY.... LET'S RIDE!!

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands

ETN out your Grandma** (6-6) v Not Big Red* (6-6)

Another matchup featuring two 6-6 teams and both teams really needing a win to help their playoff cause. NBR has far-and-away the biggest question mark of the matchup and we will all get see if he was worth the grab and stash - Deshaun Watson. Luckily, he gets to start his Cleveland career against a terrible Houston Texans defense. As much fun as it will be watching Watson play - ETN has the much stronger team. The only player not in the top 25 PRK is Keenan Allen - but we all could use a healthy Allen in our lineup. ETN team gets the much needed win with a good overall team showing.

Prediction: ETN out your Grandma

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you Ankle Holster, may your entire team burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

With Love

Commish

                                                   

Week 12 Results

Hope you all enjoyed your break - enjoyed your family - enjoyed eating food. Now for some of you returning back from break has no joy... 4 more weeks of hell and no fantasy football to look forward too. The others have something that they can use as a bit of an escape - who doesn't love a nice escape?

My top places I use as an escape:

5. Boots Barn - an unusual place at first glance. Can you imagine if I just randomly showed up in the Barn at random times of the day - just eating pistachios off the ground. In actuality, it is the place I go for cards.

4. Video Games - I seldom play video games, but it when it happens... I tend to get trapped. I lose concept of time and I end up playing for like 2 hours at a time. I get done playing and the entire day has been wasted.

3. Bedroom - This is where I tend to escape for about two minutes... mainly because our internet takes awhile to load up my favorite site... but after that, it is a quick 30 seconds max.

2. Golf Course - 9 months out of the year this is where I find myself most of the time. Ironically, I end up more frustrated than relaxed on the course... but hey who said escapes needed to be relaxing?

1. Bathroom - A Man's Throne. If you don't escape here, do you even belong in this league? Who doesn't love a nice line-up toilet tinker. Hell, sometimes I will just sit in the there - knowing full-well it is the one place that nobody will bother me. 

On to the matchups....

Matchup of the Week

OBJs in the Stands** (5-7) v Not Big Red* (6-6)

Hello Miles Sanders... way to really set NBR up for a nice win this week... and one that was needed! Currently, there is a big difference between 6-6 and 5-7 and NBR is sitting on the better half. It was just a solid consistent week for NBR and they were able to post the 2nd highest score of the week. On the flip side, OBJ got what they needed from Allen/Metcalf/Watson (they were right about him taking the lead role). However, Kamara has now struggled the past 4 weeks - never scoring more than 13 points and averaging less than 10 points. On top of that, OBJ is now in a must-win situation for the playoff push and Kamara faces a tough Buccs defense and then has the bye in week 14 - will we see a possible move?

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!

The Cochness Monsters (5-7) v Side Set TDs (7-4)

You want to talk about a crazy win... TCM needed it bad this week and Josh Jacobs delivered. The Oakland running back had an 86 yard touchdown run in overtime to finish with 48.3 points on the week. On top of that, Herbert had a good game.... in fact if you looked at the matchup after the one o'clock games Titties had this one wrapped up. Then during the 4 o'clock games TCM scored 100+ points and sealed the deal. This is huge win for TCM... keeping their playoff hopes alive and Titties now has to wait another week to lock-up their playoff spot.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Side Set TDs.... WRONG!!

ETN out your Grandma** (6-6) v Watson's Happy Ending** (9-3)

At this point, it if Happy Ending continue to win - the 1 seed is in their control. No one can catch them if they win out... but one slip up and there are a couple teams waiting to surpass them. It was a fairly consistent showing this week for everyone except for the NFC North (Lazard/Chicago Defense). However, it didn't really matter this week - ETN struggles when Taylor struggles.... especially when Fields doesn't play. As it stands ETN will now have back-to-back weeks not breaking 90 points. It is going to be tough to fight for a playoff spot with those showings.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma... WRONG!!

Gruden Email Editor* (7-5) v Bluffton Backup Backups (6-6)

Well, it looks like the Douche Goof may have just popped. They are still technically in the race - but did anyone watch MNF?? Indianapolis looks bad! It is amazing that BBB actually won 6 times... but hey even balloons can get inflated with hot air. On the flip side, Hopkins and Thielen had good weeks and Walker is always solid. The big issue is going to be Samuel and what happens with his hamstring injury. Will there be a move or will Email Editor stay firm and try and hold on?

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden Email Editor.... RIGHT!!

Ayahuasca Dreamer (6-6) v Hoosier Daddy**** (8-4)

Who wants to play Hoosier Daddy? Not me... not Ayahuasca Dreamer... not anyone in this league. They hold the most belts of the league and they are easily the hottest team in the league. Kelce is the odds on favorite for Fantasy MVP and Hurts might just be the steal of the draft. Think about this... they traded away Justin Jefferson and their lineup may have gotten stronger. At this point, it is their league to lose. On the flip side, this is huge loss for Dreamer dropping to 6-6 and missing out on an opportunity to really lock-up a place in the playoffs.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-8)

This is a crucial win for The J-Bones... and one that needed to happen other wise things would not have looked good for them down the stretch. After losing to Ankle Holster last week, this was a must win week and on top of that it knocks PEN15 out of the race for eight. Other than that, a playoff matchup including Ekeler and Barkley on the underdog team is very enticing - especially knowing that if some teams were to sneak-in to the playoffs The J-Bones would have an opportunity to knock off one of the top dogs.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (6-6) v Ankle Holster (3-9)

At some point a win is a win... and that is exactly what ARBL needed this week. JJ was a huge pickup and this week he proved why - scoring nearly 30 points on Thanksgiving Day. Holster was already eliminated, but that doesn't mean they still can't knock people out of the playoffs. ARBL avoids the upset and stays alive. Consistency was the key for ARBL and that is why they are still alive!!

Prediction: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Season Predictions: 46-38

Mystery Guest: 35-49

With Love

Commish

AJB: 174.1 points

D. Smith: 132.9 points

J. Williams: 42 points

C. Akers: 35.2 points.... Can the injured Williams hold-off Akers for two more weeks?!?!?

Week 12 Predictions

I always hate doing the first week of playoff predictions - mainly because I know that everything is going to get all f*cked up and it is just going to get harder to predict. The vag always gets bloodier before it gets clearer... amirite? Time to start digging through that blood....

IN                                                    Bloody                                   Out

Watson's Happy Ending               ETN out your Grandma            Ankle Holster

Hoosier Daddy                          Gruden Email Editor

Side Set TD's                            Ayahuasca Dreamer

                                                  OBJs in the Stands

                                                  The J-Bones

                                               Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

                                               Bluffton Backup Backups

                                               The Cochness Monsters

                                               PEN15 Wrinkle

A few things to consider....

A) Watson is the only team that is for sure locked into the playoffs... it looks like 8 wins and you are for sure in.

B) Hoosier and Side Set are all but in... barring something truly tragic.

C) Ankle is the only team that is for sure out the playoffs..... HAHAHAH YOU SUCK AS MUCH AS THE PACKERS!!

D) Bloody is just bloody.... like really bloody - there is no sense in trying to make sense of it all until after this week when a few specific teams either lose (Wrinkle/Monsters) or a few teams win (ETN/Gruden/Dreamer).

With that being said (although I really didn't say anything of importance other than grossing most of you out), let's look at the matchups....

Matchup of the Week

OBJs in the Stands** (5-6) v Not Big Red* (5-6)

This is the MotW for one reason and one reason only..... lose and you are most likely out of the playoffs. This is two teams that are sitting at the bottom of the bloody mess and both teams have won the belt before... it would be heartbreaking to lose this matchup. Which also means that is not good NBR, when Allen and Davis get to play the Detroit Lions - who have given up the more points to opposing QBs than any other defense. For that, and that reason alone - OBJs is the favorite to knock out NBR from the running.

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands

The Cochness Monsters (4-7) v Side Set TDs (7-4)

This is a very important matchup for both teams. After getting the win last against the top team in the league, TCM is still in the race for the playoffs. However, TDs is in the race for the one seed and this matchup is just as important. The return of Chase (if it happens this week) would be a huge uptick for Side Set... as that would make Adams and Chase the top WR tandem in the league. It is going to take big weeks from Jacobs and Kamara for them TCM to stay in the race... WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: Side Set TDs

ETN out your Grandma** (6-5) v Watson's Happy Ending** (8-3)

This is an extremely important matchup for these two teams.... Watson is trying to hold on to the 1 seed (win out and it is theirs) and ETN is trying to secure the 2 seed (win their division). The emergence of Fields makes ETN a serious contender in the playoffs... but this is an important week. It does not bode well, considering Hill returns and Jackson and Andrews face a porous Jacksonville Defense. This weeks screams revenge game for Happy Ending after losing to a Douche Goof last week.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma

Gruden Email Editor* (6-5) v Bluffton Backup Backup (6-5)

I don't care... I can never pick BBB to win a matchup. And yet can't I?? Tua comes off a bye week and faces Houston - the worst team in the NFL. Calvin Dook is always going to get his. It could be a good week for BBB.... but nahhhhhhhhhhhh - I can't pick BBB. Hopkins/Samuel/Knox all are primed to have big weeks and that could be it for BBB. Look for Gruden to run away with one and be one step closer to getting the 2 seed (winning their division).

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor

Mystery Guest: Gruden Email Editor

Ayahuasca Dreamer (6-5) v Hoosier Daddy*** (7-4)

I mean it really doesn't matter who I pick in this matchup.... I am getting it wrong. Hoosier Daddy is the hottest team in the league with the soon to be Fantasy Football MVP.... I think we know which way I am leaning.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

The J-Bones (5-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (4-7)

This is another one of those matchups that will help determine the race for the final spots in the playoffs. PEN15 needs to win out and get some help from other teams.... but that ain't happening this week. Murray should be back... but Warzone is still popular so who knows if he plays. If her does play, the trio of Murray/Ekeler/Barkley make this team a tough team to beat - either down the stretch or eventually in the playoffs. If I were to guess, most teams that are planning for the playoffs - don't want The J-Bones to make it. They win this week and put everyone on edge.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (5-6) v Ankle Holster (3-8)

Okay, so this is tough for me. I know that if TCM is going to make the playoffs than a few teams that are 5-6 need to lose. As it stands, I only have one 5-6 team losing... which means TCM needs another one to go down. In Ankle Holster they trust... I would write something legitimate up - but this pick is solely based upon the fact that TCM needs the 5-6 teams to lose.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

As always, I wish everyone good luck - except for you Side Set TDs, may your entire team burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Results

Full transparency... I have been pretty consumed with the World Cup and what not. I mean can you imagine what it is like over there - everywhere you go you might break the law of the all mighty sheikh and be jailed for this life and the next. I thought being around my sister was like walking on egg shells... these dudes cane you for showing too much ankle! Which is even crazier that I have seen people trying to sneak beer in the games - punishable by death; I have seen lady flashing crowds - you know those titties will never see the light of day again. I would do a lot of crazy things, but when I am in the Middle East... I ain't doing anything crazy. I take that back... I am definitely dressing up as Prince Ali and I am finding myself some Al Jazeera daughter to woo.

This week really muddied up the waters for how it the playoff race will look - be on the lookout for the Week 12 projections and the updates to the race...

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (5-6) v Ankle Holster (3-8)

What a win for the Ankle Holsters! This matchup had to go one way for it happen for the ole Douche Goof and it went exactly that way. There was no way Ankle Holster had the fire power to keep up in high scoring matchup, but if The J-Bones had an off night - it was possible. The J-Bones only had two players eclipse the double digits point total and one was a kicker - not exactly the recipe for success. Side note: I don't want to give away any projections... but Ankle Holster needed to win out and have teams lose.... they did their part - but was it enough?

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

The Cochness Monsters (4-7) v Watson's Happy Ending (8-3)

This could not have been a bigger win for TCM. They ended up with the 2nd most points in the league this week and they stay alive in the race for the playoffs. They also made things a little tighter at the top for the 1 seed. Watson had a huge push from Josh Palmer in the SNF game... but McCaffrey was just too much in the end and TCM was able to slip by with a much needed win. Happy Ending is still going to make the playoffs, but they would have loved to get this win and separate themselves from everyone battling for the 1 seed.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending... WRONG!!

Side Set TD's (7-4) v OBJs in the Stands** (5-6)

This was a pivotal matchup for OBJs - and it did not go the way they wanted. Watson had a big week for OBJ, but easily out done by Davante Adams. It always amazes me how a guy like Adams can get so wide open - who else is Carr going to throw the ball too??? It should also be noted that Titties got 31.9 points from their running backs and OBJs only scored 12.9 points. Consistency is the key in matchups that aren't booming and OBJ can boom... but he also can bust (early.... see what I did there).

Prediction: Side Set TD's... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (6-5) v ETN out your Grandma** (6-5)

You know what I can't figure out? BBB and ETN. BBB beats teams that they have no business beating and then they also have weeks when they end up in the lowest 5 scores OF ALL-TIME!!! Even if they didn't have Amari Cooper scoring 30+ points... they still beat ETN. I don't know if ETN is just saving their scoring for the playoffs or what... but they need to beat the teams they are supposed to beat... other wise they might not be in the playoffs.

Prediction: ETN out your Grandma... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy*** (7-4) v Gruden Email Editor* (6-5)

Two things of importance happened with this result....

A) Hoosier Daddy is officially one of the hottest teams in the league and tracking down Watson's Happy Ending for the 1 seed.

B) Email Editor fall back into the plethora of teams that are 6-5 or 5-6. How is a man supposed to predict the playoffs when sh*t like this happens???

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (4-7) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (6-5)

I am amazed out how bad I am at predicting the Dreamer's matchups. Simply amazed... I am 2-9 in predicting their matchups. That is awful, I mean it is pretty average if we are playing baseball - but we ain't playing f*cking baseball. They lose to teams they should beat and they beat teams they should lose too. I mean sure this was a .18 loss - which is absolutely insane by the way. Sure their defense scored -8 points. But hey, PEN15 won and the Douche Goof stays alive in the hunt for the playoffs.

Prediction: Ayahuasca Dreamer... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ayahuasca Dreamer... WRONG!!

Not Big Red* (5-6) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (5-6)

ARBL made a big move and it paid off..... not. Luckily it didn't matter and Jefferson should be solid throughout the rest of the season, but man what a dud he threw up this week. It didn't matter much NBR could get any type of scoring from anyone outside of their defense and Aiyuk. Sometimes it is just good to get lucky and face an opponent having a bad week.

Prediction: Not Big Red... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red... WRONG!!

Season Predictions: 41-36

Mystery Guest: 32-45

With Love

Commish

AJB: 161.5 points

D. Smith: 123.9 points

J. Williams: 42 points

C. Akers: 31.5 points