Week 7 Predictions

Sometimes I just look around and I think to myself, "What the hell am I doing?" Some of you may read that and guess that I am talking about how I am a grown man blogging about a fantasy football league, but no that is actually the part of my life that makes the most sense. It is when I look around and I see what is happening to the world and the people in it. Nothing makes sense anymore, just imagine....

You walk into our local Wal-mart and you see the elderly greeter, the name tag says - "Hi, my name is Charlie!" When you see these names (Pat, Alex, etc) you use to be able to tell whether you were talking to a gentleman or women - no longer the case. It actually doesn't even matter what the name is anymore - who knows who/what you are talking to? You move on and begin looking for your local libation isle. As you walk you are suddenly bumped in the shoulder, another teen with their head down texting as they are walking. You are a good person, so you feel the sudden urge to say, "Excuse me." Yet, if you really stop and think about it; why are you going to say you are sorry? This is our world now - the good people have to be cautious about anything they say or do, because the bottom feeders have been given all the power.

This is actually the reason why I love fantasy football. It makes sense - the better players score more points. Yes, there is the outlier case when a loaded team will lose; but that is more of an outlier than it is a regular occurrence. If your team is loaded with talent or you hit on a draft pick - you have power. Now what happens when a team has talent and they happen to have every single player on their team hit the bad outlier week at once? You score the all-time low and find yourself being highlighted as the...

Team of the Week

Ankle Holster

QB - Jared Goff, Kirk Cousins
These two quarterbacks are middle of the road quarterbacks that have created a tough decision each week for the owner. Each quarterback has a chance to have a good week or a really bad week. Last week it Goff had a terrible week - but still managed to score in the positives. This was actually a positive because he was in the negatives nearly the entire game.

RB - Austin Ekeler, Saquon Barkley, Marlon Mack, Ronald Jones II
This group of running backs have been the driving force for Ankle Holster. With a recent trade made this week, Dalvin Cook now had a new home and Ankle Holster has tried to bolster another department on the team. Ekeler has been one of the top backs in the league and still looks like the best running back on the Chargers roster. Barkley is coming off an injury and everyone is watching to see if he will return back to form. Mack has been the big surprise so far this season - he has been get plenty of touches and been very efficient with those touches. Mack is averaging nearly 15 points a week - which is a terrific score for your 3rd running back.

WR - Robert Woods, Emmanuel Sanders, Sterling Shepard, John Brown, Chris Conley, Deandre Hopkins
Don't think for one minute that just because Hopkins was listed last in this group he isn't going to be quickly inserted into the starting lineup. Hopkins was the recent acquisition in a trade that sent a top running back packing. This move was one that attempted to send a player in a position that was overloaded in attempt to find a stallion for another position. Hopkins solidifies the wide receiver department and as long as Woods or Sanders can step up and become a top 28 wide receiver, this group is going to get the job done.

TE - Gerald Everett
The tight end position is one of those positions that is going to separate teams. There is the typical top tier tight ends, then Hooper and Andrews have both performed amazingly. Other than that, most of the tight ends are crap shoots and Everett finds himself in that same category. Everett is a tight end that Ankle Holster goes back and forth with Jimmy Graham, but neither are anything special. If Everett can make the jump this team will find itself competing for a title.

DEF/K - Packers/Robbie Gould
When you are a Packers fan, you gotta have at least one Packers player on your team - and what is better than one player? How about eleven? The Packers find themselves just outside the top ten in position rank and are beginning to rely more and more on their offense to win games. Their front four know how to get after the quarterback, but other than that they have struggled to stop teams. Gould is what he is, and we let him off the hook!

Matchup of the Week

Ankle Holster (2-4) v PEN15 Wrinkle* (5-1)

You can't script a better storyline than this matchup of the week, both work in the same department, one team has the all-time high score, one team has the all-time low score - let's f*cking go.....

QB: Goff v Ryan
Even better for the matchup is the face-off between the two quarterbacks. Goff has been awful, maybe it is the fact that his receivers have not been able to get open downfield, or maybe that Gurley isn't a huge threat this season and teams can just sit back in the secondary, or maybe it is the fact that he strongly resembles Ryan Gosling. Either way, Ryan should have the advantage here. However, the slight wrinkle is whether or not Jalen Ramsey can play. Wait... did I say wrinkle? That has to be a sign, Ryan with the edge.

RB: Ekeler/Mack v Breida/Fournette
Personally, I would have loved for Barkley to slotted here, however we can't always have what we want. Ekeler has been performing superbly, but with Gordon coming back nobody knows what this timeshare will look like. Mack is coming off of a bye and Indy's offense looks fantastic when they force feed their bell cow running back. Fournette is really the running back to talk about in this matchup. Fournette and the new look Jags offense have really broken out this year. Fournette is averaging 18 points a week and the past three weeks have averaged 21 points. With that kind of consistency, you really can not go against Breida/Fournette.

WR: Woods/Sanders v Cooper/Diggs
This current matchup looks lopsided, but let's not focus too much on this matchup. Let's focus more on what this will be... Woods(Sanders)/Hopkins v Cooper/Diggs. Hopkins is a complete game changer and is a huge name to bring in and solidify a weak area. Not too mention Cooper is facing serious doubts about playing this week, dealing with pussy-itis. Once you throw Hopkins in the mix, the advantage swings in the direction of the Holster receivers.

TE: Everett v Kittle
There is not a lot to talk about when you have a waiver wire tight end matchup up against a top tier tight end. The obvious advantage is with Kittle.

FLEX: Barkley v Fuller
We finally get the matchup we want, Barkley - a top three pick in the draft going against Fuller - the current all-time point getter for the league. How do you counter balance a stallion? With a boom-or-bust play. Nobody in their right mind is giving the edge to Fuller, but he does have the capabilities to make the big play every time the ball is snapped. Edge to Barkley

DEF/K: Packers/Gould v Rams/Butker
Interesting to have the defense that your quarterback is going against as your starting defense. Maybe he just wants to lockup some points either way? No matter what happens, the Rams defense will look much better in future weeks with the addition of Ramsay. Butker is obviously a great play, a good kicker on a very good team. Edge to those Rams/Butker

Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

The Back Hatch (2-4) v Wings of Dickarus* (5-1)

What do you do when sit atop the league and seem to have everything clicking in the right direction? Obviously, you sit back and just the machine work. Not what Wings decided to do, surprised? No one is. Wings sent Hopkins (and other play to named later) packing and welcomed Dalvin Cook with open arms. This is a fair trade in the long run; however, with Godwin on the bye Wings will need to turn to either a questionable receiver or Beasley. It really shouldn't matter too much, as The Back Hatch seems to be facing issues of their own. Duke Johnson makes an appearance in the starting lineup - as well as Trubisky. This is the first time all season someone named Allen is not holding the starting quarterback position. Will the shake-up send a message lock-up a big win for The Back Hatch? Not likely.

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins

Florida State Seminal Vesicle** (4-2) v Biggus Dickus (4-2)

If anybody was curious, this is probably the actual "Matchup of the Week." However, in the spirit of tradition the Team of the Week (and the great storylines) find themselves with a terrific undercard matchup that they will have to try to outshine. FSSV (two-time belt holder) and Biggus Dickus have been two of the hottest teams in the league. Hooper is playing like a man on fire and if Ramsey does play for the Rams (shadowing Jones), Hooper could see plenty of targets. Ironically, both teams have defenses from the AFC East and both are hoping that their defenses can stop the other two AFC East opponents. As the teams stand - it is a tough decision, could be a coin flip, but Hooper is playing too good and is too much of a threat this week.

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins

Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-4) v Hernandez Hit Men (2-4)

Somebody get Triple B on the line and tell him to fill that kicker slot - I will absolutely lose my sh*t if it stay open for this week as well. What is worse - I will absolutely lose my sh*t if Triple B leaves the kicker slot opens and still wins. Ahhhhh, f*ck it - leave it open... it will make that much sweeter when Elliott/Gordon/Wentz/Allen all go off and lock up the win!

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins

...And Your Johnson (1-5) v Dixie Normous (4-2)

A few things about this matchup....

A) Love the new team name: Dixie Normous formerly known as Pretty Boy is My B*tch

B) Until ....And Your Johnson makes a switch or trade or something to get some new mojo, I just can't pick them to win.

3) Is anyone surprised that even ESPN only thinks the good players on ....And Your Johnsons squad is Mahomes/Kelce? Just look for yourself.

Prediction: Dixie Normous wins

Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous wins

Massive TD's (3-3) v Hoosier Daddy* (3-3)

Massive TD's better thank the scheduling committee for string fortunate matchups. Last week, he faced off against the team that scored the lowest all-time points. This week? Hoosier Daddy has four of his nine starters out on bye. There are players that will fill the positions - but Hoosier Daddy has never been to really get things going fully with his lineup. It will be scary to see Adams/OBJ/Chubb/Jackson all in the same lineup, definitely do not want to matchup with that. Luckily, for Massive TD's he will not have to worry about that this week, just be thankful!

Prediction: Massive TD's wins

Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas* (4-2) v The J-Bones (1-5)

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I mean..... well...... you could say....... top tier....... uhhhhhh. There comes a point in time when you have to wonder, what is wrong with my team? What is wrong with a team that starts Rodger/Kamara/Thielen - shouldn't that team be better than 1-5? You might say, what about the depth? Cooks/Coleman/Zuerlein are not bad depth. Not too mention Olsen had been playing well; Freeman has been performing decently. Yet, something just isn't working. It is tough, I seem think that The J-Bones have the lineup to win and yet it never happens. Maybe I am the reason they keep losing. Well, here is my gift to you - I won't jinx you this time.

Prediction: Aaron Rodger Blows Llamas wins

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

Belt Prediction: Biggus Dickus

Mystery Guest Belt Prediction: Ankle "Motha F*ckin" Holster

Bless

Week 6 Results

There comes a point in time, with everything, when you have to decide if you are going to sh*t or get off the pot. Are you going to jump off the cliff or back away like a chicken? Do you have what it takes to get after it? Most of the time you gotta do whatever it takes to get it done. You gotta find a way to make it happen or you gotta find a way out. The same can be said for the fantasy football season. There comes a point in time when teams need to decide if they are going to contend for a title or play the role as the sacrificial lamb week-in and week-out. This is commonly referred to as the beginning of "The HAVE'S and the HAVE NOT'S." In our league teams are beginning to find themselves in each category....

THE HAVE'S

Wings of Dickarus

Florida State Seminal Vesicle

PEN15 Wrinkle

Biggus Dickus

THE HAVE NOT'S

The Back Hatch

Massive TD's

...And Your Johnson

The J-Bones

FLOATING IN THE MIDDLE

Pretty Boy is my B*tch

Hernandez Hit Men

Hoosier Daddy

Bluffton Backup Backups

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

Ankle Holster

These upcoming weeks will quickly place the teams floating in the middle. Now, just because you are a team in THE HAVE NOT'S doesn't mean you can't make the playoffs and win. Last year, in round one, 3 of the 4 underdog teams pulled out a win and upset the favored team. The eventual winner finished the season with a 8-5 record. Hear me out, all you have to do is make the playoffs! It will be fun to see where the teams in the middle find themselves in the coming weeks and if any of 'THE HAVE NOT'S' make a move to shift the power in their favor. Let's see who helped their case this week....

Matchup of the Week

PEN15 Wrinkle* (5-1) v Bluffton Backup Backups (2-4)

What a way to follow up a record setting week - dropping 143.5 and crushing your opponent by 30 points! This week it was Diggs turn to have a big week and he was backed up by Ryan and Kittle. Cooper was injured early in the game this week and reports are that he was in serious pain on the sideline. He may be missing extended time which is a big loss in the wide receiver department - as the other two have been "boom-or-bust." On the flip side Jeffery, Elliott, and Wentz had a good week for Triple B. Other than that, there was not a lot of help - especially when you have an open slot in the kicker position!! Not that it would have mattered, but it is not a good look for you and your family!!!!!! Fix this sh*t in the future or forever be in your commissioner's bad graces!

Result: PEN15 Wrinkle wins

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Wings of Dickarus* (5-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (4-2)

This should come as no surprise to anyone that has been following the blog. Even though these teams had the same record - there was a vast difference between these two teams in terms of points for and against. It was not a good TNF for PBIMB, with Jones/White/Hilliman/Ellison only combining for just over 28 points. What do you expect when you are forced to play three Giants players against arguably the top defense in the league. On the flip side, Wings had their typical high 130's performance. Wilson is making a case for the NFL MVP award and it has vaulted him into the top spot for QB's. Wings of Dickarus finds themselves heavily in the HAVE'S category and that is thanks to finding gems like Godwin and making trades for players like Hopkins. It will be a fun ride to see if Wings (or a few others) can catch the all-time season scoring record, this has been a season for records after all!

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins.... RIGHT!!

Hernandez Hit Men (2-4) v Biggus Dickus (4-2)

There once was team who struggling,

Made few a trades and now is bubbling,

Ready to burst, aiming for first

Biggus sends teams away grumbling

Think about this, Biggus scored 145.5 points - beat his opponent by almost 20 points.... and his starting QB threw 5 interceptions! Hooper has been playing out of his mind - scoring points in bunches. Edelman has benefitted greatly from having AB lose his mind. Carson has been a workhorse for a team that now relies more on their ability to score rather than their defense. Wilson is playing amazingly which has opened the door for Carson to really solidify himself as a top 10 running back.

Result: Biggus Dickus wins

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins.... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy* (3-3) v The Back Hatch (2-4)

Hoosier Daddy is making a case for belonging in the HAVE'S - but the consistency just hasn't been there. Hoosier scored just 71 points last week and now has turned in 140 points. Obviously Jackson has been a superb pickup and Chubb has performed fantastic throughout the first half of the season. Samuel was a pleasant surprise this week (filling in for Adams). Hoosier Daddy is one of those teams that is going sneak into the playoffs and could very easily pull-off the upset in round one. The Back Hatch is a team that is full of big names - but they are all big names from the past. Bell/JuJu/Evans, even the Seahawks defense all were big names to be had in previous years. This year? Not so much. This is another team that will be clawing for a playoff spot and if they make - they do have the fire power to send home a giant!

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins

Prediction: The Back Hatch wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (1-5) v Florida State Seminal Vesicle** (4-2)

If there ever was a matchup that defined the difference between the HAVE'S and the HAVE NOT'S look no further. The J-Bones need to turn it around, and they need to do it fast. A few thoughts: trade Kamara for multiple players that could fill a few holes, use Coleman in the FLEX, or even switch up the mojo and throw a boom or bust player in the lineup. On the flip side, FSSV can do no wrong. He is now the first two-time belt holder - and probably the only one that can actually fit into the belt! McCaffrey has been the stud of fantasy football this year and his usage rate is through the roof. Freeman had a great week and Brady played well. What really sets FSSV apart from others is the fact that the Patriots defense is currently 14th best player in all of fantasy football. The defense is currently FSSV second highest ranked position - it really has been an unbelievable season for the defense.

Result: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Prediction: The J-Bones wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins.... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (4-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-5)

Well, well, well.... when will Johnson take my advice? I think some people think that I just write things in this blog to try and put thoughts in people's minds so that I can get them do certain things that will benefit my team - there is some truth to this. However, I also genuinely try to give out advice here and there. There are a lot of holes that need filled in this lineup - take a top dog and make a trade to fill those holes. Mahomes is obviously one of the top QBs, Kelce was a top TE - but has not performed like it. Williams had a great week and looked fantastic, but other than that - nothing is going well. Take a stallion and fill a few holes - or enjoy hearing about the playoffs rather than partaking! On the flipside, ARBL is a middling team that has beaten up the HAVE NOT'S and struggled against the HAVE'S. Although, it is hard to improve on 128 points with no points from a TE that has typically been scoring in the high teens. ARBL is a team that is nearing the HAVE'S category, but is lacking a big win against some top competition.

Result: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (2-4) v Massive TD's (3-3)

If you read the prediction post then you know that I must have rented the wrong movie. See I thought this matchup was going to be the third movie in the trilogy where the "good" guy always wins. However, this must have been the second part - which, if you know anything about movie - the "bad" guy always wins. There is no better storyline that wiener wielding hero scoring the all-time fantasy league low. One player reached double digits - which sounds really bad; however, the optimal lineup would feature a tight end in the flex and would only grant Ankle Holster 2.9 more points - still easily the worst score all-time. Massive TD's should be thanking their lucky stars, they didn't exactly have a great week themselves - but you can only beat the team you face! Nobody is complaining when you get an easy sectional draw for football and nobody is complaining when you beat a team that scored the all-time low - take the win and move on!

Result: Massive TD's wins

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... WRONG!!

It should also be mentioned that this week our Mystery Guest predicted the belt winner correctly - which ties that prediction at one. Well done FSSV, the first two-time holder of the belt!

Season: 28-14

Mystery Guest: 23-19

Bless

Week 6 Predictions

There are some things in this world that may never be touched or broken and that is just the way the cookie crumbles. For example, molten lava - can't touch it or it will melt the sh*t outta your finger! A few other things that you can't touch: golden dart frog, natural uranium, intangible items, MC Hammer, rainbows, joy, sadness, mirages, etc.

Then there are things that will never be broken - in this instance we are talking about records. For example, Don Shula's win record (in the NFL) 347 wins. Sounds like it could be broken? The next closest is Belichick and he has 148 wins - less than half. A few others: Isner/Mahut tennis match, Sam Crawford 309 triples, Hendersons' 1,406 steals, and PEN15 Wrinkle's 211 fantasy weekly total.

Yes, I said it. 211 points. We are playing for 2nd on the all-time list now. Which does bring me to the....

Team of the Week

PEN15 Wrinkle

QB - Matt Ryan, Jimmy Garoppolo
Well, well, well - looks like Mr. Ryan has finally come to play! Prior to last week's outburst (which will be a trend) Ryan had yet to score more than 23 points and only once did he score more than 20. Yet, he still himself surrounded by weapons and on a team with no choice but the throw the ball - defense is awful. Jimmy G is on an undefeated squad - but that is far more due to defense and ground-and-pound. Ryan is and will more than likely, always be the play.

RB - Matt Breida, Leonardo Fournette, Frank Gore
Can we please call attention to beginning of Trade Week - when PW traded Saquon Barkley in desperation to find more depth in the lineup. That trade sent Barkley away and brought in Fournette, T. Williams, and Diggs. Diggs has been an overall bust and T. Williams has been so-so. The biggest benefit of the trade was Fournette who is averaging 25 points over the last two weeks. Not only was the biggest injury of the season avoided - but he also managed to grab a player who is playing like a top five running back.

WR - Amari Cooper, Stefon Diggs, Will Fuller V, Mike Williams, Paul Richardson Jr, Tyrell Williams, Diontae Jordan
How do set the all-time record? You take a player who had scored 33 points the entire season and have him score 53 in one week. Fuller scored so many points last week, he jumped to 7th overall as a wide receiver. That was huge, but Cooper has been better. Cooper scored nearly 40 points last week and is averaging over 22 points a week. If you are doing the math, those two alone scored a tad under 95 points last week - not a bad showing!

TE - George Kittle
When it comes to top tier tight ends - Kittle is in the triumvirate. Kittle is essentially the number one receiver in San Fran. and he is beginning to return to form. He is the 8th overall tight end and he has already had his bye week - which also means that there is no need for a bench spot to be used for a backup. Kittle is the tight end in the starting lineup and barring any injury he will never be moved from there.

DEF/K - Rams, Harrison Butker
I will be the first to say that I am thoroughly confused by the fact that the LA Rams defense is not performing up to par. There is talented players all across the board and they have one of a few players that can single-handedly wreck the offensive line. Last week, Russell Wilson was constantly forced out of the pocket - he just happens to be better on the run, which will not always be the case. Butker came into the season as a top tier kicker and as long their offense continues to keep moving - he will stay there.

Yes, you are looking at a team that not only set the all-time high score for the week, but also is a serious contender for the championship. I would hate to face-off against a team that just scored 211 the past week....

Matchup of the Week

PEN15 Wrinkle* (4-1) v Bluffton Backup Backups (2-3)

Let's break it down...

QB - Ryan v Wentz
Matt Ryan is in a pass first offense and has a friendly matchup with the Arizona defense. Julio Jones, Calvin Ridley, and Austin Hooper should find plenty of openings down field. Wentz is desperately missing his speedy wide-out (D-Jax) who can keep the defenses honest on the backside. Not too mention Wentz has to travel to Minnesota and take on a tough defense in a hostile environment. Advantage Ryan

RB - Breida/Fournette v Elliott/Gordon
When you read these four names, you would think the advantage is greatly with Elliott and Gordon. However, the Chargers look content in splitting touches with Gordon and Ekeler. Elliott is looking at a very nice matchup with the atrocious NY Jets and should be getting plenty of touches in the second half. However, Fournette and Breida both looked fantastic last week and this battle will actually be much closer than what one might think. Coin flip

WR - Cooper/Diggs v Allen/Boyd
This is another tough matchup with Cooper and Allen both continually making big plays for their teams. The biggest conundrum in this battle is where has Stefon Diggs been? Boyd is still the go-to receiver in Cincy, as long as Green is sidelined. Will Diggs be able to step-up and actually score some points? Doubt it. Advantage Allen/Boyd

TE - Kittle v Walker
As much as I love Delanie "Best Tight End in the NFL" Walker - this is a huge advantage to Kittle. Kittle is the number receiver in San Fran. and his target share is gigantic. This really shouldn't be a surprise, but the advantage is clearly with Kittle.

FLEX - Fuller v Jeffery
Fuller just exploded and showcased his boom-or-bust ability. His name is now in our record books and it will more than likely be awhile until someone tops the performance. However, previous to that performance he looked like a receiver that belonged on the waiver wire. Will he do it again? Well, the Texans travel to KC and this game could be a shootout with big plays all over the field. Which would you rather play: a boom-or-bust player in a game that should be a shootout or a player that struggled with drops last week traveling to Minnesota? Give me Fuller.

DEF/K - Rams/Butker v Panthers/Empty
So, let me get this straight. PEN15 is playing Breida and Kittle against his own defense? Interesting strategy, very very interesting. Oddly enough, I still think that side has the advantage and it is due to the nature of the Texans/Chiefs game and it possibly being a shootout. Butker should reach double digits. Advantage Rams/Butker

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins

Wings of Dickarus* (4-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (4-1)

Let's just call this what it is.... The Real Matchup of the Week. Both of these teams are 4-1 and this battle will decide who is leading the division of "Sultry Spoon." The difference between these two teams? About 180 points scored. Imagine a handicap person goes around races other handicap people. They continue to win and feel pretty good about themselves. Soon enough this handicap person is going to try and step-up to the real race ring. He walks into a circle of actual runners, people who have trained, and challenge someone who isn't handicap. Well, then that r*tard trips over his own feet and Wings of Dickarus coasts to victory.

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins

Hernandez Hit Men (2-3) v Biggus Dickus (3-2)

What was once the name of one of the most dominant teams in the league - Hernandez Hit Men wasn't below .500 since they were the Certified G's. Now look at them, under .500 and if they lose this week they will be facing a serious threat of not making the playoffs. With no top performers on their team this week could be a struggle. On the flip side, Biggus has been on a tear as of lately. In the last three weeks Biggus has scored the 2nd most points of all the teams. Look for this trend to continue.

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins
Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men win

Hoosier Daddy* (2-3) v The Back Hatch (2-3)

Can we just take a moment and just celebrate the fact that at least The Back Hatch has a team on the field this early in the week? Good for him. His team is loaded with names, but they just haven't performed. On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy pretty much relies on the Browns offense to show up. If they don't play well, Hoosier doesn't score well. The Browns record: 2-3, Hoosier Daddy record: 2-3. It also doesn't look good since Cleveland travels to Seattle.

Prediction: The Back Hatch wins
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins

The J-Bones (1-4) v Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (3-2)

There once was a team with tier one guys
Yet, they still suck even with no one on byes
1-4 is not good for looks, just ask Brandin Cooks
Or ask Adam Thielen, "Just why can't this team win?"
The matchups are tough, and the outlook is bleak
Psyche... I am pulling for the upset this week!

Prediction: The J-Bones win
Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Aaron Rodgers blows Llamas* (3-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-4)

If the checkmarks don't already tell you all you need to know, let me break it down for you...

1) Johnson relies heavily on Mahomes and Kelce each week to begin with, but then....

2) The combination of a bye week for Montgomery and injuries to other running backs forces Dion Lewith and Jamaal Williams to get the start. Don't worry at least, Peyton Barber can really solidify his running game from the FLEX position! 😵😵

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas win
Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas win

Ankle Holster (2-3) v Massive TD's (2-3)

Two teams enter the ring, only one team will leave with .500 record - who will it be? Find out this week, on....... "Flaccid Weiner vs Mammoth Mammories"

The trailer to that movie would be completely amazing. I just imagine a guy walking around with this ridiculously long weiner strapped to his ankle. He is just rolling out a saloon (western movie, naturally) and all of the women run away shouting.

"Noooooo, not again." "He's a monster!" "It was too painful!"

Tri-pod is looking for another women, but then the hero of the movie steps out and she is a big ol' broad. Rumor has it, her mammories have been known to deflect bullets, smash cars, and yes - even suffocate the most ruthless of villains. The duel is real and it is about to go down...

The first bullet is fired by Flaccid - which the entire audience knew he was going to fire first, all men do! Mammoth shoots it to the side with her left underboob, but something has happened - something shocking. Flaccid was able to reload and fire right away; Mammoth is taken by surprise. She has never been with a man that can go back to back like Flaccid. Nonetheless, the surprise shot is a direct hit, square on the forehead. As Mammoth falls to the ground all you hear in the background is spurs and the sound of something being drug in the dirt - guess he didn't holster his weapon when he was finished!

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

Predicted Belt Winner: Wings of Dickarus
Predicted Belt Winner: Florida State Seminal Vesicle

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Week 5 Results

In most circumstances this is the part of the post where I tend to take my artistic freedom and write about whatever I please. If any of you fancy Mr. Rotowire himself, Matthew Berry, he tends to take the first half of his article and write about nonsense. Odd - I think my first part is very informative and usually well thought out. On tap for this week.... Sportsbook.

If you didn't know, Indiana has now legalize sports betting and DraftKings has a Sportsbook. Let me tell you about some of sweet features. There is live in-game betting - fantastic! The odds constantly change and it is very fun to stay active and place bets. For example, I placed a parlay bet (a bet on many difference occurrences all happening) and it involved the Chiefs winning and covering - that clearly didn't happen. Well, once I had a good feeling the game was in hand and the Colts were going to win - I placed a large bet on the Colts to cover my losses for parlay bet. This can be a very effective strategy, however - you could also get screwed if some how a team comes back and pulls off a miracle win. Luckily, that didn't happen this time.

Another cool feature is the round robin bet - which is a type of parlay bet. I have yet to fully explore the aspects of this bet, but essentially you are betting on multiple parlays all at once. There is more information on a round robin bet here. I do realize that for a majority of you, all of this stuff means nothing to you - since you don't bet. For me, it is so fun to try and find the best possible way to make money and study odds and numbers. 

The most interesting bets to place are parlays. A parlay bet is placing a single bet on multiple occurrences all happening. Typically, this is a way to get betters payouts - but it is very difficult to be successful. Our mystery guest was one game away from making $100 dollars and I was one game away from making $2,000! However, my game I needed was the Jets to stay within 12 points and we all saw how that went. Anyways, if you would like to put together a parlay bet - hit me up and I can place it for you on Sportsbook!

Anyways, on to what you came here for.....

Matchup of the Week

Wings of Dickarus* (4-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (3-2)

In a week when there was an explosion of points, six teams scored more than 130 points - Wings of Dickarus will find himself just short of retaining the belt for a 2nd straight week. This was a decent matchup and both teams scored more than 100 points, it is just unfortunate that one team had three players right around 30 points and multiple players still scoring in double digits. Watson is a stud QB for ARBL, but Conner and Ingram did have the week they had last week. This week, the wide receivers let ARBL down - don't call me Miss Cleo, but if you read the prediction post.... THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!!

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy* (2-3) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (4-1)

A few thoughts on this matchup....

1) At one point in time, some of our members were extremely bad at fantasy football. The fact that 71.9 points is nearly 10 points away from cracking the bottom five score all-time should say something about those scores down there.

2) Somebody in this matchup is now 4-1 and ranks 11th in points scored - read that last statement and let it really sink in. The old saying goes, "You can only beat the team that lines up across from you." PBIMB is taking this to a whole new level... in four of the five weeks PBIMB has played an opponent in the bottom four of points scored. Talk about taking advantage of the schedule.

3) No single player scored more than 20 points... on either team.

Results: Pretty Boy is my B*tch wins
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!! 

Biggus Dickus (3-2) v The J-Bones (1-4)

Picture this.... a giant boa sees a nice juicy mammal and is ready to eat. The snake slithers towards its next meal, hiding in the tall grass. It is about to be chow time! It lunges forward and locks on to the mongoose.... wait, what? It was a mongoose? Oh sh*t! The mongoose flips the script and takes down the snake and enjoys himself a nice little snack. The mongoose? None other than Biggus Dickus. Usually the first year player in the league is one that the snakes swirl around and take what they can from their roster - not so fast. Since "Trade Week" Biggus Dickus has now averaged over 140 points and is looking like a team to be reckoned with. On the flip side, The J-Bones have a roster that is loaded with big names and top tiers - but they can never seem to put everything together. The J-Bones has the making of becoming a giant killer and team that could really ruin someone's season down the stretch.

Result: Biggus Dickus wins

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins... WRONG!!

Hernandez Hit Men (2-3) PEN15 Wrinkle* (4-1)

HOLY SH*T!

Results: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Predictions: Hernandez Hit Men wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Back Hatch (2-3) v Ankle Holster (2-3)

First, I would like to applaud the savvy play of Ankle Holster. In a close battle, he has pulled the kicker from the lineup and secured himself the win. He is not in the running for the belt - so why keep him in there? Sure, more than likely the kicker wouldn't lose him points - but there is a chance. Second, how did Mike Evans not record a single catch? Mind blowing. Ankle holster is relying heavily on the running backs - and as for this week, it has worked. But don't forget, these two teams both finished in the bottom four of points scored this week.

Result: Ankle Holster wins

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!

Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (3-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-4)

FSSV showed that it still has the firepower needed to keep up with the big dogs. Run CMC is a player that is on a mission to single-handedly carry his team. He is essentially the white Barry Sanders. After McCaffrey, as long as all the other positions have a steady output - FSSV will be tough to beat. Johnson, needed to have a much better performance from the Mahomes/Kelce stack. To be fair, Kelce had two or three pass interference calls take place on pass attempts his direction. Johnson is know to go after stacks during the draft - there were high hopes for this one, and it has yet to truly pan out as planned!

Result: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Prediction: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-3) v Massive TD's (2-3)

A team that has so much promise and just fell completely on its face - Triple B. Things looked promising for Triple B going into the 4 o'clock games. Triple B was ahead and had Elliott, Gordon, Brissett, and Vinatieri still to play and Massive had Jones, Prescott, Williams, McLaughlin left to play. Then the Aaron Jones show started and all of Dallas was shocked how bad he made those speedy linebackers look. Jones even nearly pulled one of my favorite celebrations (ala Tyreek Hill) and he waved to the defender as he cruised into the end zone. Jones would have had his name scribed in the record book, if it wasn't for another performance in the same state - what do they have in the water in Texas!!

Result: Massive TD's wins

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... WRONG!!

This has been a week defined by record book performances. Two players topped the previous highest single week output and one team took a run at the top score all-time. Not to mention, one team is going to most points scored in a season - this has been one roller coaster of a ride!

Season: 24-11

Mystery Guest: 18-17

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Week 5 Predictions

Every so often I get stuck in a YouTube hole.... no this isn't a shameless plug for M. 3-Wood Golf - which just happens to be my all-time favorite channel, with two guys that are hilarious and ridiculously good looking and you should totally go check them out, right now - but no this is not a shameless plug for them. Nope, not that at all...

Actually, last night my wife and I could not stop watching music videos and listening music. Sometimes a music just hits the spot and you just can't help but feel good. My wife and I always talk about "those feelings" when you just feel good about life and where you at. Music is a great way to get there, when you are listening to songs that just make you feel good - you just can't help it. The same can be said for this Team of the Week....

Team of the Week - Wings of Dickarus

QB - Russell Wilson, Drew Brees
This tandem sounds much more deadly than it currently is. Wilson is the incumbent starter and has yet to give up that position, even though he may not actually be the best quarterback on the roster. However, Brees is a stash play - since he is out for quite some time. Wilson has done more than enough to earn the job as he is currently the 3rd best quarterback in fantasy football. He has been called on more that often to take ball games into his hands and he is looking to carry Seattle (and Wings of Dickarus) to the playoffs.

RB - David Johnson, Kerryon Johnson, Ronald Jones III, Kalen Ballage, Nyheim Hines
After the shampoo (Johnson and Johnson) these running backs get very weak. However, do you need more than two running back? Not if they are good enough. Kerryon is obviously a massive downgrade from David - but both find themselves inside the top 20 (7th and 20th). There will be two weeks that Wings of Dickarus will need to survive (bye weeks), or there will need to be some moves made.

WR - Deandre Hopkins, Chris Godwin, Christian Kirk, DJ Chark Jr., Desean Jackson, Cole Beasley
What if I told you that the current wide receiver rankings for this team are 3rd, 10th, 22nd and beyond - would be able to guess who is who? Most would guess Hopkins is 3rd... WRONG!! That belongs to Godwin, who has been on a tear this first quarter of the season. After that it becomes obvious, Hopkins is 10th and Chark is 22nd... WRONG!! Chark was held out of the end zone for the first time in week four - and he had a touchdown reception called back because of a penalty. This is a scary good group of receivers, especially if Hopkins is the third best (ranked) on your team.

TE - Zach Ertz
Yes, there is only one tight end on the roster - that is scary. However, Ertz happens to be a very good tight end and is currently sitting at 8th overall. There is a going to be a week that a tight end will need to be picked up off the waiver wire and that will be a tough role to fill - the current top tight end not hurt is Jordan Akins.... come again? Ertz will continue to be a top ten performer and should creep into the top five at his position, get through his bye week and he will never leave the starting position.

DEF/K - Streaming/Jake Elliott
It is becoming increasingly difficult to stream a defense in this league, as owners are becoming smarter and smarter and doing the same thing. Not to mention, most of the top defenses are taken and the defense that you would stream are stashed in advanced. Elliott is not a bad kicker - not a great one either. If I had to label a weak spot on this roster, it would have to be these positions, everywhere else is filled with at least one top ten player.

As usual, the Team of the Week finds themselves in the Matchup of the Week...

Matchup of the Week

Wings of Dickarus* (3-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas* (3-1)

This matchup features the current and the previous belt holder, as well as the top two point scorers up to this point. This is a genuine 1 vs 2 matchup...

QB - R. Wilson v D. Watson
These two quarterbacks are extremely close interns of production and talent output. Both quarterbacks are athletic and have a big arm. Both quarterbacks have a big play receivers and can throw the ball downfield. Seattle has a stronger ground game, but we are talking about quarterbacks not running backs. The big difference? The matchups. Wilson has a tough Thursday night matchup with Aaron Donald and Co. and Watson has a comfy matchup with Atlanta and the "Cold"lanta Falcons.... see what I did there? There is a slight advantage to Watson.

RB - D. Johnson, R. Jones II v J. Conner, M. Ingram II
This battle is decided more on depth than it is anything else. Johnson is the best running back, but Conner and Ingram make up a much better duo. This would be like Superman taking on Batman and Robin. In reality Superman has a good chance of taking the dynamic duo down, but more than likely the writers just won't allow it and the two will come out on top after a close fight.

WR - D. Hopkins, C. Godwin v G. Tate, P. Dorsett
Up to this points the teams matchup fairly close with a slight edge going to ARBL... up until this point. Once you hit the pass catchers - things take a drastic turn in favor of Wings of Dickarus. Godwin and Hopkins are both higher valued/better performers than Tate (who has yet to play this season) and Dorsett. Godwin is playing like a top tier wide receiver and Hopkins is not only the favored target of Watson (ARBL's quarterback), but also should see plenty of targets this week against a weak Atlanta secondary. Tate is going to need to come alive and fast if this duo is going to keep this gap close. Obvious advantage to Hopkins/Godwin.

TE - Z. Ertz v W. Dissly
If you were to look at this matchup, you would think the huge advantage would go to Ertz. However, it is actually Dissly that is the current better tight end (6th to 8th respectively). Dissly has a tough matchup against a better than advertised L.A. Rams squad. This could actually work in Dissly's favor, the secondary could shut down the wide receivers and Wilson will be forced to look Dissly's way. There is still an advantage to Ertz - comfy matchup against NY Jets - but it is smaller than it might appear.

FLEX - C. Kirk v C. Thompson
This is a tough matchup to predict and it more because of ARBL's flex player and his dependent on game flow. Thompson could be a player that could get 10-15 points if the game flow fits his usage. New England has been an extremely tough defense and has put opposing teams in position to throw the ball - which fits Thompson's strength. Kirk is slowly coming along as the top receiver in Zona - and he should see seven or eight targets, no matter what the game flow dictates. Kirk gets the slight advantage, but it really could go either way.

DEF/K - Giants/Elliott v Bears/Lutz
Obvious advantage to Bears and Lutz - two positions that are tier one in their respective positions. Is it enough to make up for the loss in the wide receiver department? I don't think so...

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins

Hoosier Daddy* (2-2) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (3-1)

The biggest question mark in this lineup is surrounding Davante Adams. He will greatly determine the outcome of this matchup, whether he plays or doesn't play. If he plays, this matchup shouldn't be close - Jackson/Chubb/Adams/OBJ are all top options that could beat entire teams by themselves. If Adams doesn't play, this should be a close matchup - but the NFC North Trio has just too much fire power. PBIMB needs to rebound from taking their loss last week and this is not a friendly week with three of their players actually working against each other (D. Jones/Engram v Vikings DEF).

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins

Biggus Dickus (2-2) v The J-Bones (1-3)

Overall, I would say the one team that benefitted the most from "TW" (Trade Week) would be Biggus Dickus. Who went from averaging just over 90 points in the first two weeks to averaging over 140 points. Not only that, Winston has a friendly matchup against the Saints - typically a shootout game. McCoy (who has been a nice addition to the Chiefs) has a friendly matchup against a battered Indianapolis defense. However, it is really going to come down to Thursday night's game and how Carson and Edelman can perform. On the flip side, The J-Bones have to be wondering who is going to step up and help out Kamara. Rodgers hasn't performed like what was expected - not finishing inside the top 14 - which equates to a QB1 (their are 14 teams). The wide receivers had higher expectations going into the season and have just failed to live up to them.

Prediction: Biggues Dickus wins
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

Hernandez Hit Men (2-2) v Pen15 Wrinkle (3-1)

Let the green check marks take you to the promise land....

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins
Mystery Guest: Pen15 Wrinkle wins

Back Hatch (2-2) v Ankle Holster (1-3)

The Back Hatch says his team in on the field - I find that hard to believe. I don't know if he is trying to play mind games or what, but it shouldn't matter in this matchup. Ankle Holster might the best 1-3 team in the league. Cook and Ekeler make up a deadly 1-2 punch at running back - but it could take a hit this week with Melvin Gordon now back with the Chargers. Will someone be able to step up and help them out this week? Will it matter if The Back Hatch's team is on the field?

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (2-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-3)

What happened to Florida State Seminal Vesicle? They went from being the team to beat, to now middle of the pack and staring down a losing record if they don't win this week. That is to be expected when you have a team of "Studs and Duds." McCaffrey and Patriots DEF were both greatly involved with the 1st quarter awards ceremony. After that? Help is needed. On the flip side, Mahomes and Kelce are pretty much the only hope ....And Your Johnson has and after that they are struggling for points. A move may want to be made by the owner, maybe try and pick up some depth and fill some holes in their lineup.

Prediction: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins
Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-2) v Massive TD's (1-3)

Massive TD's has to be upset with the scheduling of the matchups. Melvin Gordon returns to the Chargers late last week and reports are stating that he is the number one guy in LA. This does not sound good for Massive TD's as now Triple B have a deadly combo with Elliott and Gordon in the running back department. Not only that, but Brissett has a comfy matchup against the Chiefs and that game could turn into a shootout. Massive TD's team looks solid, but there are definite holes in the lineup. It is just unfortunate that Gordon has come back and made the Triple B lineups extremely deadly.

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins
Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

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1st Quarter Check-up

Let's just cut to the chase...

MVP - Lamar Jackson (Hoosier Daddy)

This may be a surprise to some, since he is actually not the number one player in fantasy football at this point. Christian McCaffrey is the leader in fantasy football, however the separation between the two is minimal - .4 points per week. So why Jackson over Run CMC? Jackson has yet to have a week where he scored less that 20 points. Run CMC scored 7.3 points in week two - the other three weeks were obviously bangers, but personally I want my MVP to show up every single week. Also, the separation between Jackson and the number two QB is 1.3 points per week and the separation between McCaffrey and the number two RB is 1.2 point per week. As it stands, Lamar Jackson is hoisting up the first quarter MVP award!

Top RB - Christian McCaffrey (Florida State Seminal Vesicle)

This should not come as a surprise to anybody that has made it this far in the blog. McCaffrey is in the running for MVP, so it is obvious that he is the best running back. However, we can not overlook the season that Austin Ekeler is having up to this point. Ekeler is currently the 3rd best player in fantasy football and he was drafted 73rd overall - a tip of the hat to you Ankle Holster.

Top WR - Keenan Allen (Bluffton Backup Backups)

Allen is the fifth player in fantasy football and the number one wide receiver. Allen has had a down week, only scoring 9.8 in week four. Nearly every wide receiver has had a down week, but not all of them also have a week with over 40 points scored and another week with over 25 points scored. Allen has been a steady performer, even if he comes with the baggage of injury history and losing target share with Melly Gordon returning. For now, he is the Top WR!

Top TE - Evan Engram (Pretty Boy is my B*tch)

As with the wide receiver realm of this fantasy world - the tight end world has had down and up weeks. Engram is the top tight end point wise and he has the current largest target share on his respective team. That could change once Golden Tate returns, but without Saquon Barkley for the time being - Engram should see plenty of targets. In fantasy football, the one thing you can not replace is opportunity and Engram will have plenty of that in the next few weeks.

Top K - Matt Gay (Waiver)

Honestly, and hope you all know this by now, I don't give a sh*t about kickers. It should say something when a few of the top kickers are from Carolina, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Tampa Bay, etc. The only thing that matters? Do they play is good weather stadiums and or indoors. I picked Matt Gay because kickers are... happy.

Top DEF - New England (Florida State Seminal Vesicle)

Typically a defense is selected because it is either one of the few top defensive teams in the entire NFL (Chicago) or they are selected based upon who they are matching up with in a given week. New England was drafted by FSSV and as they were selected he proclaimed, "They Miami, NY Jets, and Buffalo twice a year." He was not wrong! Between the three weeks New England has matched up with those three teams, the defense has averaged 24 points - which would put them as the 8th best player in fantasy football. Yikes!

Top Waiver Wire Pick-up - Jacoby Brissett (Bluffton Backup Backups)

It may have been based upon need for the team or the fact that he is the highest scoring waiver addition - whichever way you look at Jacoby Brissett has been amazing for the Triple B's. He finds himself as the 9th best quarterback in fantasy right now and to think he was added to take the place of Andrew Luck, fantasy and reality. All the props to Triple B for finding Brissett and using him, who needs the draft anyway? Not Jacoby Brissett, and definitely not Triple B!

Steal of the Draft - Chris Godwin (Wings of Dickarus)

This is actually a tough decision and probably one of the closest award races we have at this point in the season. Godwin was a question mark from the DDA - but he has performed like a top dog! Godwin was drafted 51st overall and is currently the 3rd best wide receiver, 10th overall. A few other honorable mentions.... New England Defense - drafted 171st overall, 15th overall... DJ Chark - drafted 217th overall, 37th overall. Honestly, it could easily go to New England's defense - but the academy wants to spread the love and their point scoring is more based upon lining up a few jv squads on their schedule.

Swindle of the Year - PEN15 Wrinkle

This award is nearly impossible to give out this early on in the season. However, one team was able to ship out a top talent player (Barkley) to one team for a bevy of starting players (Fournette, Diggs, T. Williams). Obviously, there was no way to know what was about to take place (High Ankle Sprain to Barkley). Long story short, PEN15 Wrinkle was able to get three starters in a trade that The Back Hatch ended up trading away the key piece. At least Barkley can be sprained ankle buddies with his fantasy football owner!

Team to Beat - Wings of Dickarus

Are you surprised? Current top ranked team in the standings, most points scored, and belt holder for the week....

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Week 4 Results

What is a week of 2019 NFL football without a Patriots win (sadly), a Khalil Mack forced fumble, a  quarterback records a multi-turnover performance, and of course of big win by your favorite commissioner?!?!

Is anybody really surprised that the Patriots are good again this year? Does anybody like it? Those answers should be the same. At least this week Brady's completion rating was under 50%, and he threw one interception. If the Patriots have to win, at least Brady played awful - let us not forget what kind of man Tom Brady is....

Khalil Mack is known is a "Game Wrecker." He is one of those players that his stat line does not fully represent what he brings to the game. He also forces offensive lines to double and sometime triple team him; he hurries the quarterback; he forces the quarterback to move from the pocket. Oh, and don't forget he is apart of a defense that also features a few other All-Pro defensive players. He also happens to create turnovers - which can be game-altering plays.

In 2019 each week has been a rough week for quarterbacks...

Week 1 - Winston throws three interceptions against the 49ers defense
                Allen throws two interceptions and fumbles twice against the Jets defense

Week 2 - Fitzpatrick throws three interceptions against the Patriots defense
               Cousins throws two interceptions and record a fumble against the Packers defense
               Ryan throws three interceptions against the Eagles defense

Week 3 - Keenum throws three interceptions against the Bears defense, coupled with two fumbles
                Goff throws two interceptions and fumbles once against the Browns defense

Week 4 - Haskins throws three interceptions against the Giants defense
               Allen throws three interceptions against the Patriots defense
               Goff throws three interceptions and fumbles once against the Buccs defense

It seems to be happening more and more, but what can we take from this trend? Find the right defense and you may be looking at a 20-plus point play. In fact this season, there have been six defenses that have score more than 20 in a given week - and countless more that scored more than 15 points. I guess finding the right defense, does matter!

We can get to the last matter, after we break down the Matchup of the Week....

Matchup of the Week

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (3-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (3-1)

What a huge win for Llamas - knocking off the only unbeaten team! Conner had a good MNF, especially with the Steelers afraid to throw the ball down field. Honestly, though this matchup was won and lost based upon depth. ARBL had two starting positions not score in the double digits, while PBIMB had six positions score single digits and only one position break the 20-point threshold. ARBL is make a statement for themselves, holding the belt last week and now knocking off the unbeaten, defending champ of the league.... "Hey, Lama how's bout a little something for the effort?"

Results: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Pretty Boy is My B*tch wins... WRONG!!

Wings of Dickarus* (3-1) v Florida State SeminalVesicle* (2-2)

Looking at this matchup you have to think how crazy it is that the Patriots defense scored 23 points and still was outscored by the opposing defense. Outside of the Patriots defense and the running backs, nothing else was really working for Florida State SeminalVesicle. FSSV even had a stud running back performance on the bench, J. Howard had a "career night" on TNF and scored 32.5 points. FSSV shouldn't lose sleep over the decision, it wouldn't have mattered and that can be thanks to the huger performance from Godwin (41.2) and multiple decent performances. At the time of this writing it looks like the belt is coming home (Monday, before MNF) and all is finally right in the world. For a team that has finished 4th, 2nd, 4th, and now 1st and has yet to score less than 130 points - it is about f*ckin' time! Once again, all is right in the world! And to think, this all happened with Hopkins failing to reach double digits!

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins
Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: FSSV wins... WRONG!!

Pen15 Wrinkle (3-1) v The J-Bones (2-2)

After the 4 o'clock games The J-Bones had to be feeling really good. He was down 85 to 92 and he had Kamara still to go (Wrinkle still had Cooper to go). Up until this point Kamara had averaged 22.6 and had just shown that the Saint offense were going to lean on him with the loss of Brees. Obviously, things did not go as planned and it turns out the Cowboys' linebackers are athletic enough to keep up with virtually any running back and teams should take that into consideration. One bright spot was Fournette who rushed for over 220 yards - too bad we don't incorporate those bonuses!

Result: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Prediction: The J-Bones wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins (Belt Pick)... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (1-3) v Hoosier Daddy* (2-2)

Remember when drafting running backs was the ideal strategy - what happened to Ankle Holster? With the trio of Cook/Ekeler/Mack (subpar week), you would think that 1-3 would not be the record after the first quarter of the season. However, having the second most points scored against you in the league is not going to help the cause. Chubb has a breakout week, Adams has a career night, and Jackson continues his onslaught of defenses and this matchup is over. Just think, outside those three players Hoosier Daddy scored 44.8 points among six starting positions - a whooping 7.46 points per position. The other three guys alone would have nearly beaten three entire teams this week. It isn't like Ankle Holster underperformed - he still would have beaten eight other teams, just not the one he faced this week!

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... WRONG!!

...And Your Johnson (1-3) v Biggus Dickus (2-2)

Holy Big Dick! It has been a good stretch of weeks for Biggus, taking down the now top team in the league and following that up with a huge week! Winston looked amazing throwing the ball all over the field and Kupp has really established himself as a receiver in LA. Hooper seems to have been a big addition from trade week and Ryan seems to have found some chemistry with the pass-catching tight end. On the flip side, what a week for Gallman, who needs Barkley?!? As stated earlier ...And Your Johnson is lacking depth in the starting lineup. With five different slots failing to reach double digits - this is a recipe for failure. It really wouldn't have mattered as Biggus Dickus had another big week and is looking to make some noise in his first year in the league.

Result: Biggus Dickus wins
Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Massive TD's (1-3) v Hernandez Hit Men (2-2)

We have a matchup between a team who made multiple trades during "Trade Week" and a team that typically stands pat after the draft. It doesn't look good for the trading team - at least this week that is. Although, Jacobs and Andrews both scored well - and they were brought in on a trade. I am not sure about playing both Seattle wide receivers though, but hey that is just me! Hit Men finally got a decent week from Gurley - although he only had five carries, which should be a bit concerning. He had plenty of depth that scored him in the 120's and that should be enough to keep him right around a respectable .500 win/loss mark.

Result: Hernandez Hit Men win
Prediction: Massive TD's win... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men win... WRONG!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (2-2) v The Back Hatch (2-2)

This matchup was very underwhelming - but it did make for an exciting MNF game. Going into Monday Night the score was 72.8 to 63 in favor of Bluffton Backup Backups. Triple B had Tyler Boyd going and Back Hatch had Mixon and JuJu going - this was going to be close. Obviously, there were no real fireworks throughout the game, unless you had Dionte Jordan (who the fook is that guy?) or Conner. Instead, this was a race to 80 - both passed out right before the finish line. Since there has to be a winner and Triple B was able to fall forward while The Back Hatch fell..... on the back hatch we have to tip the cap to BBB! A win is a win, even if it's ugly!

Result: Bluffton Backup Backups wins
Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The Back Hatch wins... WRONG!!

Season: 20-8
Mystery Guest: 14-14

Before I leave you, can we just take a moment and celebrate the how beautiful the world is at exactly this moment... the belt is with it's rightful owner, the best team is on top, there is separation in the predictions! When the fall comes, and it will come, it is going to be hard and I fully expect everyone to make me feel the pain - but at this point, man it is a good time to be alive!

Bless