Week 4 Predictions

"Everyone has a plan.... until they get punched in the mouth." This famous quote is much deeper than the man who also once said, "I want your heart, I want to eat his children!" Obviously, the great philosopher (Mike Tyson) was a little off base when he mentioned eating someone's children. However, the first quote is directly relatable to life....

Everyone always has a plan for perfection - but what happens when something goes wrong? In his case, he gets punch in the mouth. In our case - we lose or we experience an injury. Do you try to weather the storm with your backups or hope that it was a fluke? Do you go out and try to make a big trade? These are the decisions that can make or break a fantasy season - many of us know these struggles very well. Many of us should take notes from our Team of the Week, who was able to rebound from a loss to now holding the belt....

Team of the Week

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas

QB - DeShaun Watson, Derek Carr

This is obviously one of the stronger positions for ARBL. Watson is one the top fantasy QBs this season - especially with the loss of his starting running back in the preseason. This put even more pressure on Watson and his electric wide receivers - which they have thus far answered the task. Watson finds himself as the current 6th best quarterback and he has played top defenses like Jacksonville and LA Chargers. Watson will continue to hold down the QB starting slot and Carr should only be needed for a bye week.

RB - James Conner, Mark Ingram III, Chris Thompson, Adrian Peterson

ARBL has been active in the trade market - but the top two running backs have stayed constant. Thompson was a nice pickup and had a decent week to add to the belt-worthy week. Conner has been consistent, but he has lacked any type of explosion that was experienced last season. Ingram had a monster week and seems to have found his calling in the explosive offense of Baltimore. It will be interesting to see how ARBL continues to rotate AP in and out of the starting lineup.

WR - Kenny Golladay, Phillip Dorsett, DeVante Parker, Golden Tate, Taylor Gabriel, Trey Quinn

It was an interesting move to trade away Mike Evans (who had just had a huge week). In a quick chat, ARBL's owner was hoping to acquire multiple starters in return for one stud. Tate has yet to play a game and there could be a definite starting role waiting for him once he returns. Golladay is hoping that Matthew Statford will be able to continue to force the ball downfield and the same can be said for Dorsett - who now has room to work with the release of Antonio Brown.

TE - Will Dissly, Trey Burton

This has to be tough for a Bears fan. Dissly is in the starting lineup and is a much more consistent play, but Burton is a homer pick. Dissly is currently a top-ten tight end and should remain there as the Seahawks offense actually looks decent. Dissly had a decent 2018 and looks to continue that throughout the 2019 season. Burton is looking to try and shake off an early season injury and try and find some kind of connection with Trubisky.

DEF/K - Bears/Will Lutz

The are very few defenses that are worth actually caring about. The Chicago Bears defense is the top defense in the fantasy world and it is a defense that you can throw in the starting lineup and not every worry about having the "stream" or search the waiver wire. The same can be said for Lutz - who was a top tier kicker, prior to Brees injury. Lutz should still perform fine, but the obvious star from these two positions is the Chicago defense. Khalil Mack - nuff said

Matchup of the Week

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (2-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (3-0)

I am not sure there is a better way to draw up a Matchup of the Week.... The Belt vs The Champ

QB: Watson v Jones 

Watson is a top tier quarterback and will have a clear advantage in this matchup. Jones had a great first week and has a very comfy matchup against Washington's defense - who was just torched by Trubisky, of all people. I still think the advantage goes to Watson as there are very few quarterbacks that legitimately have a number one wide receiver (Hopkins) and a speed demon on the opposite side of the field (Fuller).

RB: Conner/Ingram v White/Cohen

Yet again, this matchup is clearly in favor of ARBL. Conner has yet to live up to the hype of season two - but give this week he will find pay dirt multiple times, which could result in a big game. Ingram is on an explosive offensive team and White and Cohen are both "game flow running backs." PBIMB's running backs rely heavily on the passing game to take the lead and are both RB2 on their own team's depth chart.

WR: Golladay/Dorsett v Jones/Sutton

Uhhhhh.... Julio Jones - any questions where the advantage is? Yeah, I didn't think so.

TE: Dissly v Engram

Engram is currently the number one tight end in fantasy football - obviously that will stay for the entire season, but he is out to prove that he was not just a one-hit wonder. I am a big fan of Dissly, especially with Vannett being traded away - but you just can't argue with the target share that Engram is getting, clear advantage.

FLEX: Thompson v Hilton

Thompson is another "game flow running back" and actually would have struggled to post a decent week last week, if not for a couple garbage time catches. On the other hand, Hilton has the potential to explode at any given week. Hilton is a top ten receiver, yes I said it - because I was wrong about Brissett and his ability to push the ball to Hilton. Man, I can't believe I just typed - just doesn't feel write to say I was wrong about something. Let's just give the advantage to Hilton and move on.

DEF/K - Bears/Lutz v Vikings/McManus

Usually, this is where I go on my rant about how defenses and kickers don't really matter - but hold the phone, we are talking about Da Bears! Ironically, the two defenses will be going against each other - so it should be an interesting game. Kickers.... ahhhhhhh, screw 'em!

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins..... but this one should be close

Mystery Guest: Pretty Boy is my B*tch wins

Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (2-1) v Wings of Dickarus (2-1)

Both of these teams are looking to rebound after each of them lost for the first time last week. FSSV is carried by Run CMC, Brady, and Watkins. McCaffrey should be fine against Houston's defense and he will definitely see plenty of touches. Brady should be fine, because.... well, he's Tom Brady. Watkins is the real question. Will he continue this hot streak? He is in a tremendous offense and his quarterback is second to none - but can you really rely on Sammy Watkins week-in and week-out? On the flip side, Wings starting lineup is loaded top talent names that are just primed to explode. David Johnson, Russell Wilson, DeAndre Hopkins, Zach Ertz - all are top tier players. Although, it is an odd decision to play a defense that is currently averaging negative points - will it come back to haunt him? Doubt it.

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicle wins

PEN15 Wrinkle (2-1) v The J-Bones (1-2)

What do you do when you are a huge fan of an NFL team and draft multiple players on that team and then their bye week comes around? You get your ass beat by The J-Bones. The 49ers are on a bye week and PEN15 has a top tier TE, a shifty running back, and a quarterback who finds himself inside the top twenty (although Matt Ryan is the actual starter). I am not sure it really would have mattered in this matchup - nearly every possible slot could be in favor of The J-Bones. I have yet to actually see that (ever), but The J-Bones make a strong case for it this week. Rodgers could easily be projected to score more than Ryan - R-E-L-A-X, amirite? Thielen and Cooper go back and forth, but Cooper is projected higher with Gallup out with an injury. Fournette over Freeman is the only clearcut advantage for PEN15 - which just has to realize that this week was coming one way or another.

Prediction: The J-Bones win

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones win 

Ankle Holster (1-2) v Hoosier Daddy* (1-2)

Has there ever been a team that relies more on their running backs than Ankle Holster? Let's just call this matchup what it is... Cook/Ekeler/Mack vs Hoosier Daddy. Sadly, those three might be able to pull it off - but I wouldn't bet on it. Jackson is best quarterback not named Mahomes and the Adams/Beckham might be the best wide receiver group in the league. Waller has been a diamond in the rough - there was thought he was going to be a key cog in the offense once Brown was shipped out, but not quite to this extent. Hoosier Daddy just has too much firepower in too many different positions.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

....And Your Johnson (1-2) v Biggus Dickus (1-2)

Follow this analogy with me.....

Ankle Holster is to Running Backs as .....And Your Johnson is to Mahomes/Kelce stack. Are you tracking? There is not much else working Johnson. He fielded many offers in regards to Kelce, but he just couldn't part with the superstar - thus his depth has taken a toll. However, when you play a team that is still hungover after knocking off the top team in the league (DDA official) - who cares? Or is there still not enough firepower to choke down a Biggus Dickus? If McCoy/Kupp/Hooper can do what they did last week, then this matchup shouldn't be an issue.

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins

Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins

Massive TD's (1-2) v Hernandez Hit Men (1-2)

One of these teams was very active during trade week and the other tends to rely on his draft strategy and seldom makes a trade. Massive TD's made a couple trades that week (nothing to the level of The Swindler) and hopes that Jacobs and Andrews can step-up and perform as expected. In fact, outside of Cobb, every starting lineup position is within the top twenty.... not bad! On the flip side, Hit Men tends to stay the path - little change, every starting lineup position was drafted or picked up in free agency (only one position player). There are a few big names - Gurley and Thomas - but with the Brees injury and the limited workload, both of those players have failed to live up to the hype. Could be a long season for Hernandez Hit Men...

Prediction: Massive TD's wins

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-2) v The Back Hatch (2-1)

This week has trouble written all over it for The Back Hatch. First, the newly acquired stud running back gets injured and is traded away within the same week - Tuesday to Tuesday. Then this week is the Jets bye-week, which means the Bell is out. Essentially, The Back Hatch went from having two top five draft picks in their starting line-up to zero within a matter of a few days. Oh and not to mention, now they take on a team that was just robbed of the belt last week by the Bears defense and that same team has scored the most points in the league to this point. Good luck little buddy, good luck...

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

Mystery Guest: The Back Hatch wins

Starting this week I am going to make an additional prediction - who do I think will take home the belt. This week my money is on Wings of Dickarus - surprised? You shouldn't be. If I had to take a 2nd horse in the race it would be The J-Bones - which ironically is also who the Mystery Guest is betting on to win the belt. Good luck to all and may the odds forever be in your favor!

Bless

Week 3 Results

1. Getting struck by lightning seven times

2. Winning the Powerball lottery

3. Having twin babies - one white and one black

4. Averaging 92.95 points in the first two weeks, and then scoring 139.9 points in week three

What do all of these things have in common? The odds of each individual event are astronomical (except the last one, but more on that later). How astronomical?

1. Roy Sullivan has been struck by lightning 7 times... 

                       4.15 in 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

2. Obviously this has been done, multiple times actually....

                       1 in 292,201,388

3. The Durrant-Spooner family, had not one set, but two black and white twins....

                       2 in 1,000,000

4.  We will get to this odd occurrence later on - first to the "MofTW"

Matchup of The Week

The Back Hatch (2-1) v Hernandez Hit Men (1-2)

It always seems like the MoTW seems to be a bit of a let down - never lives up to the hype - this one is no difference. It should say something when one team is very active during "Trade Week" and grab a big name running back, only to have that same player injured, and yet still win. It was a brief stint with The Back Hatch for Barkley - not a big fan I guess - and he has moved on to a different dirt road (see what I did there). The real added benefit was the ability to pick Agholor who had a great week and also in another 13th hour trade JuJu was added to the team. Shockingly in a starting lineup that featured two top five running back selections - it was the receivers that carried the load! On the flip side, Hit Men really need make a change - because this isn't last year and you can just depend on one rookie player to completely dominate. Mahomes has moved on and Murray just doesn't have the same magic. Something needs to change, and fast - or Hit Men will quickly be on the outside looking in come playoff time.

Results: The Back Hatch wins
Prediction: The Back Hatch wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The Back Hatch wins... RIGHT!!

Biggus Dickus (1-2) v Wings of Dickarus (2-1)

And after this week, both defeated teams have found themselves a win, and we have no idea which win was sweeter (more on the other winless team's victory further down). Biggus Dickus has struggled to score more than 90 points in the first two weeks - however after the explosion in Sunday Night Football from Kupp, and a so-so performance from Mayfield, chalk one up in the win column. What really made this happen? Maybe a 13th hour trade made on trade day? Hooper steps in and score 24.6 points, Lindsay also would have had added to the scoring - but he was left on the bench. But the best play of the week, has to be the savvy move of throwing McCoy in the flex and taking advantage of an injury in a top offense. Well done Biggus Dickus, oh yeah and Wings of Dickarus scored a typical 130 points, finished in the top half of the league - but it will not be enough! Take a seat, you sh*t-talking, blog-writing, good-for-nothing commissioner.

Result: Biggus Dickus wins

Predication: Wings of Dickarus wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins... RIGHT!!

Ankle Holster (1-2) v Aaron Rodgers blows Llamas* (2-1)

Here you have it ladies and gentleman - a new name in the record books! If you want to see for yourself check out the link on the right hand side. Llamas is number four in the books, but should I put "Llams?" With a huge week from Mike Evans - finally came to play, a terrific performance from the Bears defense and a great performance by Ingram, there was no beating Llamas. And think, there were still three starting lineup slots that scored in single digits! On the flip side, Cook continued his dominating season, but after that? Not much was working for Ankle Holster! The running backs are always going to be the driving force for this team - but there needs to be some help otherwise, it is going to be tough sledding all season long.

Results: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... WRONG!!

The J-Bones (1-2) v ...And Your Johnson (2-1)

It is kind of crazy that a team that scored 162.2 points would have still lost to two other teams in the same week. Not to mention, I would say this was a very quiet 160+ points performance. Kamara had a huge week, but that was to be expected with the injury to Brees. Other than that, there were no eye popping performances - Olsen had a good week, but in this week five tight ends scored 20 or more points. The J-Bones has a solid lineup with few weak spots and will be a solid contender come playoff time. On the flip side, Mahomes (left nut) and Kelce (right nut) can only fire off so many times. It is amazing that the left nut has not dried out yet considering the amount of times he has fired off. There needs to be some support, maybe a thumb or two?

Results: The J-Bones win
Prediction: The J-Bones win... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones win... RIGHT!!

Pen15 Wrinkle (2-1) v Massive TD's (1-2)

Pen15 was one of the teams that was active in what is now being dubbed "Trade Week." However, they were not active on "Trade Day" - their trade took place earlier in the week. Many questioned the move to send Saquon Barkley to another team, but it seemed that the crystal ball that Pen15 was looking into gave him great foresight as Barkley can now be seen on crutches and in a boot. In return for Barkley, Fournette/Williams/Diggs were able to provide the depth needed to compete in this league. Unlucky for Massive, who had six starting slots score in the single digits - which would not get it done most weeks. Massive was active as well during "T.D." - but his moves didn't pan out as well this week, here is hoping that Jacobs and Andrews can pick up the slack and provide what was expected. 

Result: Pen15 Wrinkle wins

Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins...  RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins...  WRONG!!

Pretty Boy is my B*tch (3-0) v Florida State SeminalVesicle* (2-1)

In a battle of the unbeaten (which could have easily been the MoTW), the reigning champ continues to prove that it was not just a fluke. The victim this week? FSSV. After a trade, which sent Ertz to the sun, Ridley was unable to perform up to his potential. Will FSSV give him another shot - or will he be on the move again? Run CMC, per usual - had another great performance. It seems that as Run CMC goes, so does FSSV. On the flip side, with a fantastic roster decision to start and stack Jones and Engram, which resulted in 57.5 points. Who saw that coming? Nice call Jake, Nick, John! Will those two be able to pick-up the weight for the lack of running back support? Who knows, but there is a storm coming and PBIMB is the only undefeated team left!

Result: Pretty Boy is my B*tch wins
Prediction: FSSV wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: FSSV wins... WRONG!!

Hoosier Daddy* (1-2) v Bluffton Backup Backups (1-2)

Like I said, I don't know which first win of the season was better. Bluffton Backup Backups refrained from making any moves this week - partly because he has no idea who is on his team. However, not only did he beat "his boss" - he beat him with the second highest score of the week. With a huge performance from Keenan Allen and no starting lineup slot scoring in the single digits, this was an all around dominating performance. The bigger question remains: Will the rest of the league ever be able to live down the fact that BBB had the second highest scoring week - if you don't know what I mean, just ask him who is on his team! Per usual, as the Browns go - so goes Hoosier Daddy. The questions remains - will Hoosier Daddy ever play Chubb, OBJ, and Landry all at once? There is only one ball to go around!

Result: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

Prediction: Bluffton Back Backups wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins.... WRONG!!

Season: 15-6
Mystery Guest: 13-8

Bless

Professional (Fantasy) Development

Trades Completed

Wings of Dickarus and Massive TD's have made a trade:
Hopkins and Njoku will now be playing for Wings and Jacobs and Andrews will be feeling up Massive TD's.

A-Rodgers Blows Llamas and Hernandez Hit Men have made a trade:
Raheem Mozart will be hitting men and Chris Thompson.

Wings of Dickarus and FSSV have made a trade:
Ridley and OJ Simpson Howard will now be a testicle vesicle and Zach Ertz will be flying close to sun. 

Hoosier Daddy and Massive TD's have made a trade:
Jarvis Landry is welcomed to Indiana and DK Metcalf will be a herdsman of the titties.

There was not a trade made - but The Back Hatch has bet Ankle Holster that Barkley and Bell will outscore Cook and Ekeler.

The Back Hatch and Biggus Dickus have made a trade:
The Back Hatch have acquired JuJu, Eifert, and AP and Biggus grabbed Hooper, AJ Green, and the man that started it all... Phillip Lindsay.

Rumor Mill

A little birdie informed me that Phillip Lindsay is available for offers. Something you may want to be on the lookout for.

I also heard that Wings of Dickarus is looking to move-on from some of their talented wide receiving core and possibly put together a package for a top-tier position player.

A not-so-secrete owner has proclaimed that he needs a running back - ....And Your Johnson

Massive TD's is looking for a TE or RB and is throwing everybody up on the block. Apparently, this team is in desperation.

Biggus Dickus may be looking for a tight end due to injuries and risky players.

Ankle Holster front office was overheard murmuring about picking up another wide receiver. Although, there was talks about needing to be blown away - take it for what you will.

A-Rodge Blows Llamas has been making phone calls shopping around D. Carr.

There have been many offers thrown at Massive TD's, but it looks like the list is winding down to two competitors.

Even after making a move on trade day - Wings of Dickarus is still not satisfied and is looking to trade away a few top wide receivers.

....And Your Johnson is becoming more aggressive in his search for a running back - although he is confident he will find the right deal.

Talks are heating up as Wings of Dickarus is sitting on a plethora of wide receivers and looking to give back to the community.

"I don't even know my own players - I just do whatever my boss tells me to do" - BBB (heard in passing)

Matthew Statford has been thrown around as click bait.

Wings of Dickarus has sent around trades, but it seems teams are weary.

The J-Bones have been brought in the mix - with or without their consent.

The Phillip Lindsay market is heating up, it seems there have been two suitors that have separated from the crowd.

A stubborn SOB said Cook is off the table - supposedly off the table.

Biggus Dickus and a suitor are in heated talks and I keep hearing the names Michel and Lindsay.

Wings of Dickarus is aggressively shopping Calvin Ridley - aggressively.

The Back Hatch is looking to move his high tier kicker, any takers?

As things progress throughout the day - the same names continue to surface... Ridley, Lindsay, Michel/Carson are all floating around. A few names are beginning to join the mix - stay tuned.

Some managers have been upset at the moves made by Wings of Dickarus. After word passed to him - he simply shrugged and said, "It's a fun league."

Rumor has it, Ankle Holster is in the works with a mysterious suitor - trying to keep things under wraps.

A new suitor in the Danny Amendola quest has popped up - I'm hearing Julio Jones, but more is needed to land a top wideout like Amendola.

There has been talk about Peyton Barber, Chris Carson, Austin Hooper, Greg Jennings, and Biggus Dickus exploding in The Back Hatch - not sure any of it is related.

It seems as though the day is nearing and it is amazing that the player that started the entire day and one was thought to be the catalyst to start everything was never moved. It seems the we may all regret the day we had a chance to get Phillip Lindsay - but for now he will remain a Back Hatch Boy.

Just when you thought the day was done, at the 13th hour talks picked back-up involving our favorite hero.

Week 3 Predictions

It isn't a fantasy football season without a blockbuster trade taking place. The question is always whether or not you want to be the person trading away the stud player or the person trading away multiple pieces to acquire a stud player. Typically, the trade will breakdown in a very similar fashion....

Team A - This is the team trading away a stud player. They have more than likely lost multiple weeks and feel as if they have too many holes in their line-up. They will either need to sit back and hope that their stud(s) have monster week after monster week and carry their team to a decent .500 season or they will trade away a stud for a package of players that can be used to fill multiple roster spots.

Team B - This is the team that feels they have multiple players that are not being utilized - bench players. They are willing to part with a few players that will be useful else where in order to grab a stud that can be the keystone of their starting lineup.

Let's look at The Back Hatch - don't we all love looking at the back hatch? Yummy.

Team of the Week

The Back Hatch (1-1)

QB - Josh Allen
This is one of the risky picks that were made - but has paid-off tremendously thus far. Allen was drafted in round 15 and was the second to last quarterback taken (Darnold was taken in the same round). Allen has performed as the 11th best quarterback - which is a steal! The issue is that Allen is the only quarterback in the line-up, which also means that there will be some waiver wire scouring if J.A. happens to go down. Not to mention, that after the slew of injuries that the quarterback position has taken thus far - there are not a lot of options out there.

RB - Le'Veon Bell, Saquon Barkley, Phillip Lindsay, Ty Montgomery
Well, well, well - would you look at that duo at starting RB? Talk about a trade that will really solidify a position of need. Bell has seemed to prove doubters (fantasy football wise) wrong and is currently averaging 22 points a week - not too bad for a guy that sat out an entire season. Barkley is arguably the best running back in football, at least in the top three. The trade gives The Back Hatch an incredibly solid running back department - one that will matchup and probably best any opponent.

WR - Marvin Jones Jr., Corey Davis, A.J. Green, Golden Tate, Nelson Agholor, Phillip Dorsett
With every trade made, there comes a risk. The risk for The Back Hatch was trading away some depth - particularly at the wide receiver position. Losing Diggs and Ty Williams is a big loss - considering Jones Jr. and Davis will be the starters until Tate comes off suspension and Green is cleared from injury. Even then, Tate will have rookie Daniel Jones handing the ball off every play throwing him the ball and Green will need to compete with John Ross for the Red Rocket's attention. This is where the dice was rolled - and it is never a bad option to roll the dice if you have Saquon Barkley coming back in return!

TE - Austin Hooper, Kyle Rudolph
Hooper the clear cut starter in the line-up - but Rudolph is not a bad backup. Hooper is a TE that has seen 15 targets in the first two weeks, which places in the top 6 for targets for the tight end position. Hooper finds himself in the Hotlanta offense, an offense that will be throwing the ball... a lot. Hooper will easily find himself within the top 10 of tight ends when it is all said and done.

K - Brett Maher
Maher is the kicker for the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys have been on a tear and that means more opportunities for the kicker. Maher will have plenty of chances for extra points and field goals - this is a good solid lock at a position that should not matter, but yet sometimes matchups come down to it. A kicker is not a position that will win you a week, but it is a position that can lose it. Maher will never be a reason why it is lost.

DEF - Chiefs
Obviously, this position doesn't matter - this defense signifies the fact that The Backhatch will be streaming defenses based upon their matchups.

Matchup of the Week

The Back Hatch (1-1) v Hernandez Hit Men (1-1)

Do you see those little green check marks? Yup, that is pretty much the definition of this matchup and of the trade that was made centered around Saquon Barkley. Barkley and Bell form a Killer B running back department. The wide receivers will take a backseat, at least until something changes for Green and Tate. This would be a much closer contest if Brees was not out - which hurts Michael Thomas (Bridgewater didn't look awful, but he is no Brees). Hit Men also currently have Robinson in at the flex and is hoping he can continue to ride the hot start from Mahomes and Kansas City air offense. Once again, do you see those little green check marks? Yeah, they aren't wrong.

Prediction: The Back Hatch wins
Mystery Guest: The Back Hatch wins

Biggus Dickus (0-2) v Wings of Dickarus (2-0)

On paper this matchup does not look good - one team is 0-2 and has averaged 92.95 points throughout the first two weeks. The other team is 2-0 and has averaged 141.2 points throughout the first two weeks. One team was picked as the top team in the DDA and the other was ranked 13th. One team is loaded with top talent and lowest ranked position player in the starting line is 21. The other team has two position players in the top 20 and one of those players is a often injured tight end. Like I said, on paper one team is far better - but wouldn't it be funny if David played Goliath in this matchup. You know, newbie gets his first win against the big shit-talking commish? Nah, ain't happening.

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins
Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins

Ankle Holster (1-1) v Aaron Rodgers blows Llamas (1-1)

Remember that bet that was referenced back in the "Draft Day" post? Here you have it folks, the two teams in question. Given, the bet is only really focused on a select few running backs - but as it stands Ankle Holster also happens to be leaning heavily on those running backs. Cook, Ekeler (not in the bet), and Mack have carried the load for this team. All three find themselves inside the top 10 of position rankings. Sanders has been a nice diamond in the rough, as no one really expects him to continue to perform like he did last week. On the flip side, where in the world has Mike Evans been? Is the Chris Godwin shadow really that big? One would think that eventually Evans is going to return to form and once he gets there - this team has tons of talent. Watson is a top quarterback, Conner is a top running back and Evans is (will be) a top wide receiver. Yes, I have convinced myself - this week is the week...

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

The J-Bones (0-2) v ...And Your Johnson (1-1)

Have you ever looked at a starting lineup and been more terrified of a stack than Mahomes/Kelce? What if those two just happened to be playing the number one defense in the NFL? That helps a little. What if that same team has struggled to score points outside of those two players? That also makes one feel a little better. What if you also happen to start Aaron Rodgers and Alvin Kamara? Both of which are staples in the fantasy game and have yet to have their big performances. This week seems to be a whirlwind of what is needed for The J-Bones to get their first win of the year. Will they be able to choke down the Johnson? Hell yes, and it will be done to completion!

Prediction: The J-Bones wins
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

Pen15 Wrinkle (1-1) v Massive TD's (1-1)

There is so much that could be broken down - especially with Wrinkle trading away Barkley for multiple starting pieces. But all you really have to do is answer one question: Which is the superior gender, Male (Pen15) or Female (TD's)? The answer is obvious...

Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins
Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins

Pretty Boy is my B*tch (2-0) v FloridaState SeminalVesicles* (2-0)

If it was not for the big trade made earlier this week, this would be the matchup of the week. We have two undefeated teams battling it out, one team has scored the most points and one team is the defending champions. So what's the issue? PBIMB is starting Newton - who has looked awful and the only backup is Sam Darnold who isn't even with his team. PBIMB is also one Julio Jones catch away from being 1-1, this matchup really shouldn't live up to the paybill. On the flip side, Brady has looked amazing! Run CMC had a terrible week two and he is still the 3rd ranked running back. Watkins has somehow kept up his decent play - but who really knows how long that will continue. Will the Patriots scored 35 points again? They are matched up against the Jets - so I'm saying theres a chance...

Prediction: Florida State Seminal Vesicles wins
Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicles wins

Hoosier Daddy* (1-1) v Bluffton Backup Backups (0-2)

Have you ever heard the joke about the two tech guys playing fantasy football? Yeah, me either. But I am curious to see what happens if BBB ends up winning this matchup - or if he even knows how to put in a 2nd running back. Just think about what would happen is BBB gets their first win against the one guy who is helping him understand football. Yes, that was not a typo - I literally meant just football in general. Don't let the empty slot scare you - it will more than likely be filled. Here is hoping, because I am going to go out on a limb....

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins

Let's get it!

Bless

Week 2 Results

Often times I will sit and ponder about some of the deep, thought-provoking questions that life can really throw at you....

In the word "scent" is the s silent or is the c silent?

What is the other 98% of 2% milk?

Who closes the bus door after the bus driver gets off the bus?

If a bunch of cats all jump on each other - is it still called a 'dogpile?'

So obviously I am what you would call a "deep thinker" and when it really comes down to it - theses questions can keep you up all night. Then there are those moments of clarity, when everything finally clicks and the answers become so obvious...

Neither the s or the c is silent - both letters combine to make a softer "sssss" sound

Water makes up a majority - vitamins, lactose, minerals, proteins, etc. make up the rest

Depending on the design of the bus, there is sometimes a button on the outside, separate exit for the driver, or a form of releasing/closing the door with a pull. Even more so, some bus companies have been known to just leave their doors open.

Dogpile is actually a term referring to a mound of humans and was at one point referred to as "pigpile." Some scholars also theorize that it referring to a pile of dog shit and not the actual dog. So what would you call a bunch of cats? A meowtain.


Once I am done pondering life's wonders - I just sit and wonder, "Is Wings of Dickarus really the best team?" And then the moment of clarity strikes again.... "Obviously they are the best, was there ever a doubt?"

Which does bring us to the results....

Matchup of the Week

Florida State Seminal Vesicles* (2-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas (1-1)

Wow, may I forever eat my words. Apparently, defense does matter - turns out it just wasn't the one we thought it would be. We all know that Miami is bad - but seriously allowing Patriots D/ST to score 35 points is outrageous. FSSV now rolls to a fantastic 2-0 start, which also provides an extremely good outlook for reaching the playoffs. In the history of the league, the teams that have started off 2-0 have made the playoffs 96% of the time; teams that go 1-1 make the playoffs 56% of the time. I completely made up that stat - I mean how in the world would I know that? Do you really expect me to go back and look up all of that stuff? Hell no. Just like you would never expect a defense to score 35 points - sometimes you just have to take it for what it is and move on.

Result: FSSV wins
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers blows Llamas wins.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: FSSV wins.... RIGHT!!

Wings of Dickarus (2-0) v The J-Bones (0-2)

One thing that stands out in this matchup? The way the points were scored. Who would have thought that between thee five running backs (2 first round picks, 1 second round pick, 1 third round pick) only 57.3 points are scored. That is an average of 11.4 points per player - a total that every other position player outscores except Josh Gordon. When you look at The J-Bones, you can't help but wonder: How is this team 0-2? Kamara, Rodgers, Zuerlein are all tier one players and not too mention Theilen was (and still is) an absolute stud. How do you beat a team loaded with tier ones? Depth. Wings of Dickarus was robbed of the belt by an outburst of points on MNF, but nonetheless the message was sent. There is no weak spot in the lineup. The real question is: Can Wings go an entire season without trading? Doubtful.

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins
Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Massive TD's (1-1) v ...And Your Johnson(1-1)

You know what is a scary thought? A team scoring 122.7 points and not getting any points from the FLEX position. Not to mention, the fact that there were multiple players on Johnson's bench that scored in the double digits. You know what is a scary thought? A Mahomes and Kelce stack. Yeah, it works. For Massive TD's there were definitely some bright spots in his lineup, A. Jones looks good and so does Prescott. Hopkins will get it figured out - but what about everybody else? There are just too many holes in the lineup and too many boom or bust players. Massive TD's lineup is like actual massive titties - every so often you want ungodly gigantic mammories in your face, but all the other times you notice what is attached and it is not a pretty site. This is one of those weeks when you notice what it is attached, and for Massive TD's - it wasn't pretty.

Result: ...And Your Johnson wins
Prediction: ...And Your Johnson wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: ...And Your Johnson wins... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (0-2) v Ankle Holster (1-1)

Is there a better 0-2 team than the BBB? If Jeffery doesn't get hurt (I know, a pretty big if) - this matchup more than likely shifts the opposite way. Nonetheless, Cook and Ekeler continue to should the load for Ankle Holster. If this team is going to succeed those two are going to need to continue to score big points - you can not rely on those pass catchers week-in and week-out. The BBB will be an extremely scary team if they can sneak into the playoffs, let us not forget that Melvin Gordon is on the bench and if he returns and even 75% of what he was last year - this team vaults into the top five in terms of talent. For now, everybody in the league should be thanking their stars every week this team loses and gets further away from the playoff line.

Result: Ankle Holster wins
Prediction: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... RIGHT!!

The Back Hatch (1-1) v Pen15 Wrinkle (1-1)

Will the real Josh Allen please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up? A little Eminem reference, anybody? Josh Allen is turning out to be a solid QB, at least for the first two weeks. Who would have thought? Apparently nobody in the league but The Back Hatch - seeing as he did draft him in the final two rounds. The Back Hatch is able to get the win under the belt and is still squarely eyeing the week five return of at least one of the needed pass catchers. On the flip side, Pen15 Wrinkle has to be questioning the decision to rock a double TE. Kittle is a great player and will have far better weeks - but is Hockenson really worth a FLEX play? Nah, probably not. Both of these teams will be looking to improve their bench, or at least hope the injury/suspended players can return and be productive right away.

Result: The Back Hatch wins
Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Pen15 Wrinkle wins... WRONG!!

Biggus Dickus (0-2) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (2-0) 

At some point it will happen, it has too happen. One of the newbie owners will get their first win - this was a close call, but as a champion PBIMB knows how to finish off an opponent. SNF was a terrific night for PBIMB and Julio Jones. To think, it took a Julio Jones 54-yard touchdown catch with a minute to go to stop the Big Dick from getting his first win. Although, even after that the win was not in hand - Mayfield still had to take the field on MNF. Mayfield and the Browns cruised to an easy win and if was a little closer, he may have been given the opportunity to throw the ball a little more. There was a beautiful touchdown pass and catch between he and OBJ - which had more influence than just making this matchup close. As we all know, close only count in horseshoes and hand grenades; well, and if you are playing "just the tip" - then close is probably the better option.

Result: Pretty Boy is my B*tch wins
Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins...  WRONG!!

Hernandez Hitmen (1-1) v Hoosier Daddy* (1-1)

Holy MNF! Get this man his belt - he is the top dog this week! Hoosier Daddy and his trio of Browns players took over and really handed it to the lowly Jets. OBJ had a huge catch and displayed his one-handed prowess. Chubb did a fantastic job finding the holes and scampering around. The Browns defense managed to hold a 3rd-string QB out of the end zone - yippee! All of this would be for nothing if wasn't for the unbelievable play of Lamar Jackson. There were many doubters (myself included), but that boy can play! You know what is not a good look - being the lowest point total and losing to the highest point total! Somebody better get their sh*t figured out, because this is not the same team as last year's Hernandez Hitmen!

Result: Hoosier Daddy wins

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT!!

Season: 10-4

Mystery Guest: 10-4

Bless

Week 2 Predictions

What's in a name? A name is defined by a word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known, addressed, or referred to. The other definition? A famous person. It doesn't matter how hard the name is to pronounce - if you get famous enough people will know who you are. Here are a few examples...

Giannis Attempt to Kill Pooh

Arnold Sword in a Ni**er

Novak Choke a Witch

Or the famous beer company, Steal a Menage-a-Twa

Which does bring me to our Team of the Week...

Team of the Week

Florida State Seminal Vesicles

This team made a statement in week one - scoring a league high 156.1 points, led by Sammy Watkins with 46.8 points. What a decision! No matter what happens, that long ass team name will be scribed into the record books (until another player can break Watkins' score). Let's take a deeper look at the current top team in the league....

QB - Drew Brees/Tom Brady
Name a better backup quarterback than Brady? Go ahead, I'll wait. Brees looked so-so in week one and Brady looked stellar. This will be a tough decision week-in and week-out, especially with the addition of AB to the Patriots. Sadly, all I can think about when I see Tom Brady is either him kissing his son for faaaaarrrrr too long or this "The League" clip...

RB - Run CMC, D. Freeman, J. Howard, J. Richard, M. Brown

Honestly, after Run CMC this group is subpar - at best. Luckily for FSSV, Run CMC is there and he will completely dominate opponents and winning matchups week-in and week-out. Freeman had a very unforgettable performance in week one, and it is going to take a much different Hotlanta offense for Freeman to produce. Howard should begin to take more and more snaps and if he continues to play well - look for Howard to move up from the Flex position to the RB2 slot.

WR - DJ Moore, S. Watkins, M. Valdes-Scantling, D. Moncrief, M. Sanu

Seriously, this is a sad group of wide receivers. Are we really to believe that Watkins is going to be able to get the job done, even with the injury to Hill. One has to believe that Kelce and Williams will see a huge boost in performance - but I am still not on board with consistent play from Sammy Watkins. After that, you have a slew of 3rd options wide receivers - not a good look for the future.

TE - Z. Ertz/J. Witten

Ertz is a fantastic tight end, who will actually see just as many targets as most wide receivers. The biggest issue is injuries. Ertz has only ever started in all 16 games once in his outstanding 6 year career. How to back-up an injury prone player? By rostering a player fresh out of retirement. Although, Witten looked good in week one (the entire Dallas offense looked good) - so the decision to back-up an injury prone player is to use a formerly retired play, interesting.... very interesting.

DEF/K - Patriots/Crosby

Well, the Patriots play Miami, NYJ, and Buffalo twice a year. Many owners will be looking to try and pick a defense that plays those teams in any given week and it is already locked up - not a bad play. Kickers - eff 'em. However, eleven kickers all managed to score double digits and Crosby managed four. Not to mention, that Green Bay will be playing outdoors 75-85 percent of the time - which only makes things tougher for Crosby.

As per usual, our Team of the Week finds themselves in the...

Matchup of the Week

Florida State Seminal Vesicle* (1-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas (1-0)

QB - Brees v Watson

Both of these quarterbacks found themselves in a battle in week one - with Brees winning the game, but Watson winning the fantasy battle. This week, they both face tough defenses - LAR and Jax (respectively). It is extremely tough to go away from Brees and Watson looked so good in week one - honestly, the QB battle could go either way.

RB - Run CMC/Freeman v Conner/Ingram

Let's be honest, McCaffrey is an absolute stud and he will see 20+ touches every single week. This week he has a comfy matchup against a Buccs defense that was just torched by San Fran. I would be lying if I said I wasn't rooting CMC - he is white and he isn't Tom Brady. Conner will bounce back from a rough start to the season and Ingram looked like a stud against Miami's junior varsity defense. This still has to go in favor of CMC/Freeman - only because CMC could outscore the other three RB's by himself.

WR - Moore/Watkins v Evans/Golladay

Watkins should be in line for a bigger target share (Hill injury), but don't expect another outbreak of record breaking proportions. Evans looked normalized, but don't expect that to continue. Tampa Bay looks awful and they will need to throw the ball (a lot) to keep up with teams. Golladay definitely looks like a player will see his fair share of targets. Which brings us to DJ Moore - do we really trust a young wide receiver on a team who loves to run and check down? Let's all say it: No we don't. Sorry, but the edge has to go to Llamas with the consistency to be expected and not the boom or bust play.

TE - Ertz v Burton

Well, one tight end is a top tier and the other scored.... well, he didn't even play in week one. In fact, Burton comes into week two with a questionable status - who is the backup? Not only are we asking that, so is Llamas. With no backup TE on the roster (at the time of writing), there will be a big question mark in this matchup. One that needs to be filled if Llamas wants to be competitive in this matchup.

FLEX - Howard v Guice

This looks lopsided on paper and in the projections - but is really that lopsided? Guice is still in the flex, and he will be replaced with either Bernard or Gallup. Bernard could be in line to have a good game, especially with the Mixon injury in week one and Gallup played amazing in week one, catching all seven targets for over 150 yards. My guess? Gallup gets the call and actually gives Llamas the edge in this matchup.

K/DEF - Patriots/Crosby v Bears/Lutz

This is actually a battle - one that does deserve a little bit of discussion. The Patriots defense has a very nice matchup against the Miami Dolphins - a team that was just demolished and also happened to allow Baltimore score in the top five last week. However, the Bears are a terrific defense that held Aaron Rodgers to only 10 points in the season opener and this week they face-off against Flacco - talk about a downgrade. Lutz v Crosby is a no-brainer and the edge for both of these positions has to go in favor of Llamas.

The real issue in this matchup is what is going to happen at TE - can Llamas find someone worthy to take the spot of Burton if it is looking like he isn't going to play?

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers blows Llamas, by a coin flip

Mystery Guest: Florida State Seminal Vesicles wins

Wings of Dickarus (1-0) v The J-Bones (0-1)

One team is looking to keep it going, the other is looking for a fix. This matchups features the top two pre-season projected teams (see The DDA). It also features number one overall pick, Alvin Kamara. The Saints really turned things around in the second half of MNF when they started featuring Kamara - and that could be scary for the NFL, as well as the BBL. The issue for The J-Bones is who is going to help out? Coleman is injured and the backups don't look too promising. Rodgers is in another tough matchup against a tough Vikings defense. On the other hand, the three headed monster of D. Johnson, K. Johnson, and J. Jacobs only had two heads going. Although, two heads are better than one (Kamara) and as long as there is consistent play in the other line-ups, look for those running backs to lead Dickarus even closer to the sun!

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins
Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins

Massive TD's (1-0) v ...And Your Johnson (0-1)

You know what is scary? Mahomes/Kelce on the same roster. You know what is even scarier? Mahomes/Kelce on the same roster with Tyreek Hill injured. This Mahomes/Kelce combo could completely dominate an Oakland defense. Fitzgerald showed that he definitely still has something in the tank and with Antonio Brown now entered into the lineup - this is a deep team of pass catchers. On the other side, week one standout Marquise Brown now finds his way into a lineup that also features Hopkins. These two combined for over 60 points in week one, if they can do it again TD's will tough to beat, but will they be able to do it again? Probably not, Massive TD's will be relying on Williams and Jones to step-up and put up some points, in bunches. Personally, I just think the pas catchers for ....And Your Johnson are just too much to overcome!

Prediction: ....And Your Johnson wins
Mystery Guest: ....And Your Johnson wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (0-1) v Ankle Holster (0-1)

The good news? Someone is going to get their first win! BBB looked they were ready to lock up a win and shove it all of our faces that a tech nerd who knows nothing about football was able to win in their first week - yet the matchup in week one ended up screwing them over. Elliott is a stud. Hands down a top player in fantasy football. Allen and Jeffery both look ready to explode this year - can they each avoid the injury bug that always seems to show up? Not to mention, the roster also has a spot for the best tight end in the league - Delanie Walker. Holster features a trio of running backs that looked ready to continue the dominance they displayed in week one. Cook, Ekeler, and Mack will need to carry Holster to the winner's circle - and I think they will.

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

The Back Hatch (0-1) v Pen15 Wrinkle (1-0)

The lineup for Wrinkle is deep and consistent and loaded with top tiers. From top to bottom there is little to pick apart in the line-up, other than the fact that Breida is subpar - but with Coleman's injury he could see 15+ touches. This is not a good week to be The Back Hatch, is it ever? Bell and Fournette are going to need to be the bell cows (which they should) and Diggs, Williams, Hooper, and Jones Jr. are going to need to lead their team in targets. All of that needs to happen for The Back Hatch to even have a chance to compete. All of that could happen, it really could - but I just don't see it. Call me what you want, but I love the Pen15 Wrinkle.

Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins
Mystery Guest: Pen15 Wrinkle wins

Biggus Dickus (0-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (1-0)

Well, well, well.... it is week two and we have our defending champion facing off against our newbie. Boy, wouldn't it be nice if Biggus was able to bounce back from that horrendous showing in week one and beat the defending champ? The stars are aligning, as long as the Pats do to the Dolphins what the Ravens were able to do - which is completely dominate them. Mayfield should have a much better week two and I wouldn't bank on the Steelers' struggles to continue. On the flip side, the issue with PBIMB is that Hill is injured and there is not a lot to pull from on the bench. He can move Hilton up but that still leaves an opening in the FLEX. The waiver wire had better be nice to PBIMB - because they are in need of a pick-up to fill that opening.

Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins
Mystery Guest: Biggues Dickus wins

Hernandez Hit Men (1-0) v Hoosier Daddy (0-1)

Can Jackson really keep it up? Yes, but in nowhere near the same capacity. Will the Browns (Chubb and Beckham) be able to get it together in week 2? More than likely. Will Adams return back to form as a top five receiver? Hard yes. Can Murray be trusted against a tough Baltimore secondary? No. Is Kenyan Drake ever going to get it figured out? Hard no. These answers should tell you exactly where I am leaning....

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins

Those are my picks and I am sticking to them. Good luck to all - honestly, I don't even know why I try a nice little ending. Don't you all know by now that I want nothing more than for all your teams to absolutely suck and mine to win? Well, if you didn't know - now you do. Screw all you and may my team dominate!

Bless

Week 1 - Results

Boy the NFL is a bitter pill to swallow. On one side you have those teams that up and coming and looking to make a splash in the big boy pool - yet they can never seem to take off their floaties. On another side, you have a consistently dominate team that somehow finds a way to reload year after year after year. On even another side, you have those teams that always seem to fight to very end - only just to let you down.

Browns/Bears.
Patriots.
Colts.

No matter who your team is; how bad they are; how good they are; they are still your team. Which why NFL fans love week one - they get a chance to finally watch their team, at least love it for a little while. And then it hits you, "shit, my team sucks." Hey, don't you worry little fella - is winning really worth having this GIF floating around the internet?

Or this one...

Or even worse....

Man, I HATE TOM BRADY!

Well, enough about my hate - let's get to why you really came here.... the results! In this Matchup of the Week....

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones (0-1) v Pretty Boy is my B*tch (1-0)

Every few weeks a fantasy football player gets to experience the feeling of having someone from your team be on your opposing fantasy team. "What do I do? Do I cheer? Do I get angry? What do I do with my hands?" This week was a tough pill for The J-Bones as Hilton played his little heart out and scored 28.7 points this week, but still couldn't get the job done in real life - double whammy! With nobody really showing up this week for The J-Bones it was a tough first week and things need to change in a hurry, because having four positions score less than 10 points isn't going to work. Only three players outperformed their projections for The J-Bones. This is a good week one win for PBIMB and a great way to prove that there is no hangover from last years championship run!

Result: PBIMB wins

Prediction: The J-Bones wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: PBIMB wins... RIGHT!!

...And Your Johnson (0-1) v Wings of Dickarus (1-0)

It was a rough week for Your Johnson - got beat on Friday, beat on Sunday, and I know I beat mine on Saturday. One good thing about the matchup is the fact that long tooth Fitz still has something left in the tank. Mahomes played well and we can certainly expect Kelce to follow suit in future weeks - he can't possibly keep throwing the ball to Sammy "So Sad" Watkins, can he? It is just hard to keep pace when your defense, wide receiver, and number one running back all don't score more than six points. On the flip side, Wings really put together a solid performance this week - even his bench had some big players. D-Jax had his typical revenge game performance (he is up for trade). His performance and his fellow benchwarmers combined to break 95 points - something a few team's starters failed to do, here's looking at you Biggus Dickus and Hoosier Daddy. Jacobs and D. Johnson both had solid games and there were five touchdowns scored between the six position players - not a bad start to the season!

Result: Wings of Dickarus wins

Prediction: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Wings of Dickarus wins... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (0-1) v Florida State SeminalVesicles * (1-0)

First, can we all just give a round of applause for The Bluffton Backup Backups (yes, the name still needs a little work - is this a computer joke?). Stepping up to the plate and ponying up some cash for a team he didn't even draft - although that is probably a good thing. Seriously though, let's really get to it - WHO THE F*CK STARTS SAMMY WATKINS?!?!? Not only did he have the game of his life, he also scribes his name into the Bluffton Bombshells record books - good thing he was starting. His performance combined with Run CMC - another player to break the 40-point barrier really help take down a solid performing squad. The highest team total of the week will earn him a chance to don the belt (there will be a belt coming soon), and an asterisk next to the name!  BBB had four positions score more than 20 points (and another on the bench - see Tennessee/Browns) and all of this with M. Gordon still holding out. This team could be scary good in the 2nd half of the season!

Result: FSSV wins

Prediction: FSSV wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: FSSV wins... RIGHT!!

Massive TD's (1-0) v The Backhatch (0-1)

It seems that this year might be year for the owner of Massive TD's. This team was picked as one of the lower teams (11th ranked) and then in the first week the team throws down a monster score. In 2017, the team scored the top score in two of the first three weeks. Can this team continue to score big points? Prescott and Hopkins will continue to carry the load, but if Williams, Lockett, Landry and Njoku can all continue to break double digits - lookout league, there are some titties on the run! On the flip side, the Backhatch has nothing to be ashamed about. Bell performed very well and Fournette (the question mark) looks to be primed for a nice season - as long as he can avoid the injury bug. With only two positions failing to hit the double digit mark, and one being the kicker, there is plenty of consistency to go around.

Result: Massive TD's wins

Prediction: Massive TD's wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas (1-0) v Biggus Dickus (0-1)

Welcome to the league.... BIIIIITCH!! Biggues Dickus has some serious soul searching to do after this performance. Although to be fair, who would have expected the floundering performance by Baker and the Browns. It is just not a good look when you step-up to the big boy table and fail to eat even sides - yes that is the equivalent of failing to break 90 in your first week. In fact, it is like your first day of teaching and getting given the year-long algebra kids, "Boy, this is going to be a looooong year!" Llamas, not a bad performance - still finished in the bottom half of the scoring for the week, but hey you can only beat who they put in front of you! Not only did Watson have a great game in real life, but he also scored quite well in the fantasy world - look for that to continue all season long!

Result: Llamas wins

Prediction: Llamas wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (0-1) v Hernandez Hit Men (1-0)

How do you lose when you have two players combine for over 65 points? You have the other seven positions score less than 55 points. Obviously the injury to Mixon hurt this week, but if he can't shake the injury bug - if will hurt Ankle Holster in more than one way (see side bet in "Ready to Rumble" post). Hernandez Hit Men had one of the most dominate teams last season - and mostly because of then rookie quarterback Patrick Mahomes. This year there will be a heavy reliance on rookie quarterback Kyler Murray - can the rookie make it work again this year? If game one is any indication, I wouldn't hold my breath. The rookie struggled for 3/4's of the game against the Lions - I would continually bank on the fact that he will have multiple huge fourth quarters.

Result: Hernandez Hit Men wins

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... WRONG!!

Pen15 Wrinkle (1-0) v Hoosier Daddy (0-1)

When one team looks extremely good and even finds himself in the top 3 of the DDA - you would think they would have a little more dominating performance. Barkley is going to be force-fed for the Army Ants, to think that he was able to score nearly 18 points without scoring a touchdown and he averaged 10.2 yards per carry. The early injury didn't help Williams, but what is Breida's excuse? Breida better show-up now that Coleman is out of the picture! On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy had a huge week from Jackson - and boy did he look good - albeit against the Dolphins. However, when half of your starting positions fail to score more than 10 points, you can pretty much bet you aren't coming out on top!

Result: Pen15 Wrinkle wins

Prediction: Pen15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Pen15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Prediction Record: 6-1

Mystery Guest: 5-2

Bless