Week 4 Predictions

As you read this, I would like for all of you to do your best Handy Rubbins (Randy Hudgins) impersonation. Mine consists of me putting my head in my hands and shaking back and forth - as if he had no idea how to respond. This is also the look I had on my face when I read the ESPN article stating that the Tennessee Titan shut down practice facilities due to Covid. Those that were present at the draft had a discussion about what to do if the season was shut down and I sent out an email with the decision that I made....

Should we make past week 8 and not get fantasy football playoffs - the 1st and 2nd team will be paid.

However, if we don't make it to week 8 - the league fees are paid back. 

I have a few ideas for the NFL to take care of this COVID issue....

A) Any team that is forced to miss a game forfeits and the team that they play wins. 

B) Any team that is forced to miss a game sends their strongest player to a battle field and they must fight their respective weekly opponent's strongest 2 players. 

C) Any team that is forced to miss a game gets sent to an island and is forced into a sped up version of Survivor.

D) Kill them

Just a few options I decided to place into an email that I sent to Goodell. Hopefully, he likes the options - I am partial to option "B." I would love to see Derrick Henry deck out in armor and attempting to battle with TJ Watt and Bud Dupree. One thing I can guarantee, the ratings would skyrocket - but we have more pressing matters than creating our own dream Gladiator world. Let's get to the matchups....

Matchup of the Week

Asymmetric TDs (3-0) v Hernandez Hit Men (2-1)

**Disclaimer, this matchup was picked as the MotW prior to the announcement of Tennessee and Minnesota shutting down facilities**

Based upon the top disclaimer, HHM is in a tricky situation if both of those teams do not play this week - or miss any extended time. That would greatly shift the outcome of this matchup, let's examine the matchups anyways....

QB: Patrick Mahomes v Cam Newton

If you want to catch this matchup and its entirety, just watch the game - these two will be facing off! Everyone knows what Mahomes can do - slang that rock! Everyone knows what Newton can - tote the rock! This will be a fantastic matchup, but the edge goes to Mahomes and that KC offense - especially after the onslaught they put on Baltimore last week.

RB: Alvin Kamara/Todd Gurley v Derrick Henry/James Connor

Wouldn't it be funny if the Tennessee v Pittsburgh game was pushed back and was not played during this week's time frame. That would mean that both RB's for HHM would not score any points - we need to be aware that this is a possibility. The other side of this, the NFL may push the game back to Monday - which would also mean that this matchup will not be decided until after that point. Either way Kamara is the best player in football right now (not named Wilson or Mahomes) and he should have another big week against a softer Detroit defense. Advantage Kamara/Gurley

WR: Cooper Kupp/Jarvis Landry v AJ Green/Marquise Brown

Kupp and Landry are the better of the tandems, but Brown could have a boom week and make up for it. If I was a betting man (yes, I know) I would bet on Kupp/Landry. They both have comfy matchups, Giants and Cowboys respectively, and they both should see plenty of targets this week. 

TE: Jared Cook v Noah Fant

Cook plays in one of the best offenses (New Orleans) and Fant is currently having some dude named Rupien (sp?) throw him the ball on a short week. This is not a good scenario - however, I do like Fant in this matchup. Fant is going to be a safety valve for the new quarterback, who will be looking for big easy targets and Fant could get a lot of work across the middle of the field.

FLEX: Julian Edelman v George Kittle

Interesting, we have HHM rocking a 2 TE starting lineup. Kittle is a very good football player - like very, very good. The only problem is the fact that the 49ers have been decimated with injuries. Either way I still prefer Edelman over Kittle - even if the 49ers were healthy. The Cam Newton experiment is working very well and the Patriots are moving the ball up and down the field. Edelman is strong candidate to lead the team in targets and Newton trusts his hands. Advantage Edelman

DEF/K: Colts/Zane Gonzalez v Patriots/Greg Zuerlein

Colts are the number one defense in fantasy football and the Patriots have to contend with KC Chiefs offense - not a good recipe. Kickers are pretty much a push, so the slight edge should go to the defense that is argument for the tops in the league. Advantage Colts/Gonzalez

***Keep in mind, this is all written prior to any decision made for the COVID situation - but it would be hilarious if Henry and Connor don't play and Hernandez Hit Men find themselves in the record books for having the worst score!

Prediction: Asymmetric TDs wins

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TDs wins 

Remember the Redskins (3-0) v Penis Fly Trap (2-1)

We have another fairly important matchup - this was option "B" for MotW. RtR is 3-0 and riding high after the three touchdown outburst from Burkhead - who would have guessed? This week the law of averages begin to hit and Burkhead comes back down to earth. This matchup also feature the deadly triumvirate from the scorching hot Seattle Seahawks Air Raid - Wilson, Lockett, and Metcalf. It will be interesting to see which one of those three has a big day. This is really going to come down to whether or not the roles players for each team can show up. Not to mention - there may need to be a defense switch for PFT - Tennessee is looking like they are going to struggle in the upcoming weeks.

Prediction: Penis Fly Trap wins

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-2) v The J-Bones** (3-0)

I am not sure I have seen a bigger mismatch on the ESPN projections in the history of this league. Given, Wrinkle does not have a TE in the lineup and that will help the projections - but there isn't much Wrinkle can do at this point. Julio Jones and Raheem Mostert are both questionable heading into the this and Deebo Samuel is still on the IR - this is a team that is going to struggle until their stars return. Either way, I am not sure a fully healthy Wrinkle roster can compete with The J-Bones. Currently, The J-Bones have 7 players in their starting lineup that have a top-10 position ranking. The only player that does not... TY Hilton - everybody loves a homer pick!

Prediction: The J-Bones wins

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins.... and takes belt back!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-1) v Dixie Normous (0-3)

Is this the week that Dixie gets their first win? Is this the week that Dixie turns things around and begins to make the run to the playoffs and f*ck everybody over? Is this the week that we see two games not being played because of COVID? If that is the case, ARBL is absolutely screwed - without Cook/Fuller/Gostkowski the odds would shift greatly in Dixie's favor - even though they would miss Thielen/Fairbairn. But yes... this is that week for Dixie (who actually has a decent team this year, he just has faced ridiculous scoring to this point)

Prediction: Dixie Normous wins

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins

Ankle Holster (0-3) v 3rd and 41* (2-1)

At this point there are two options for Ankle Holster: A) Just let every team kick the sh*t out you and hope that somewhere along the line you can get a win, so you are not the only team to ever winless throughout a season. B) Make some kind of trade and hope you can something to get your team going. Up to this point, "A" has been the choice - nothing is going to change this week either...

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins, and keeps the streak of alive of back-to-back belt winners!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

Solo Driving Asians (0-3) v iTouchdown There (1-2)

*See "Ankle Holster v 3rd and 41" prediction and just replace the team names with "Solo Driving Asians" and "iTouchdown There" respectively

Prediction: iTouchdown There wins

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-2) v 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (1-2)

This matchup is an intriguing matchup. Both teams are coming off of a loss, but 2G1C was missing Michael Thomas - he is decent at football. BBB has a very good, well rounded roster and should have many good weeks. This week is going to be one of those good weeks. Outside of Miles Sanders - most of the starting lineups have favorable matchups. Don't be surprised in BBB ends snatching that belt and forcing his tech counterpart to stare at it all week long (it will be close, but he will get edged out for the belt).

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins

Mwah

I wish you all good luck, except for Remember the Redskins - may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash, eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 3 Results

There are times when I sit back and I begin to reminisce about funny times in my life - and trust me, there have been plenty of them. I smile and chuckle and just think of the good 'ole times, "Man, what a fun time that was!" Too list a few....

1. Challenging everyone in a bar/restaurant to Connect 4 - So there we are, a group of 6-8 couples and we walk into a bar/restaurant. It is already kind of loud, but nothing out of the ordinary. However, this particular establishment had board games in the waiting area for people to pass the time. I see Connect 4 - my mothaf*ckin jam - and walk to the bar with a couple buddies. I set-up shop on a table and proceed to yell so the entire place can hear me, "I will beat anybody in Connect 4. Come challenge the King!" Long story short, some hipster dudes were not happy that I was interrupting their dinner and Trouble game and had some words exchanged with a couple of buddies of mine who were defending my honor as I absolutely obliterated any challenger.

2. Bear Game - Back in college I had a buddy who had a variety of wild ideas, the list included (but was not limited to): branding ourselves, attempting to jump through ice, being homeless, and the Bear Game. Essentially, the game consisted of going into a cave (someone's home) and waking the bear (the person) and then getting out before the bear got you (the person killed you). Yes, this is Breaking and Entering. Yes, this is dumb. Yes, I would not recommend doing this.

3. Huntington Faculty Dinner - Once in college (oh the good 'ole days), my friends and I decided that it would be funny we dressed up and ran through the Huntington University Faculty Dinner. This was a formal dinner for all of teachers, faculty, administration, etc. and the hellions of the school were not about to let this fly without a little chaos. So my buddy dressed up in a full body banana outfit and I threw on a full body gorilla costume and proceeded to chase him throughout the entire dinner. I actually locked eyes with the President of the University and he just laughed - you da man G. Blair Dowden!

4. Any time with my Dad - If you have never met my dad, he is a behemoth of man who lumbers around and looks as if he a homeless man looking for his next crack hit. He does not care about social cues and most rules don't apply to him. There have been many times when he done or said things that blow me away and I still to this day do not know how someone has not punched him the face.

5. Moments with wives - I will admit it, I am a bro's bro. I prefer to be with the bros and I prefer to be entertained with the bros. There is nothing better than a couple of bros just hanging and having a good time. Sometimes, the wives think they are part of the bros - this can not happen. Sometimes, we as bros do dumb (funny) things just to try and get our bro time....

            A. If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around, does it make a noise? This was an argument had between me and another wife that resulted in me mocking her and her telling me to shut-up. Yes, I am a jackass.

            B. Steel Panther, Oklahoma Girls - This was a time when there many couples dancing and listening to music playing over a loud speaker and I turned on this song. Trust me, wives would not like it - you can google the lyrics.

            C. Talking about Primary v Secondary and "C" Lunch - This was a time when were discussing the logistics of losing your virginity and we offended a specific wife and she left lunch..... oh wait, that wasn't a wife.... or was it?

There are countless many other memories that I find great enjoyment in. Most of which would just make me laugh and smile, but would very well mean nothing to any of you. I don't say all of this in vain, although I was just thinking about the Steel Panther song and I did look up the lyrics (that sh*t is funny), but rather Fantasy Football is one of those things that I think about and laugh about. It is so funny how crazy it can be and unpredictable it can be. For example, let's look at the Team of the Week

Team of the Week

3rd and 41

QB: Josh Allen

No backup is needed when you have the white MJ of the National Football League. Josh Allen is the real deal and is going to win the Bills a lot of games. It is going to be interesting when Buffalo faces New England and you have virtually the same type of quarterback on either side. One would think those defenses would be ready, since they will have practiced against a similar quarterback all year long.

RB: Austin Ekeler, James Robinson, Joe Mixon, Chase Edmonds

So far, this is has been a very good group of running backs - one might even use the term "over achieving" group of running backs. But hey, that is what it is going to take to win this league! Robinson has been a diamond in the rough, picked up off the waiver wire and now winning belts for his team. Mixon will come around (possibly) and this could be a pretty good group of RBs that you do not want to face in the playoffs.

WR: Tyreek Hill, Devante Parker, Tyler Boyd, Michael Gallup, Anthony Miller, Russell Gage

This is a good, deep group of wide receivers. To think, Anthony Miller may never see the starting lineup is pretty crazy to show how deep of group this is. Hill is obviously the leader of the pack and if the Battle in Baltimore - he going to get plenty of deep ball targets.

TE: Jonnu Smith, Hayden Hurst

This is where the roster takes a little bit of hit. Although, this year it has not been a lock for some of the other top-tier tight ends. Andrews and Ertz have been off-and-on and at this point if your name isn't Travis Kelce - it has been a crapshoot for TE. Not a bad position to take the hit on, especially considering Smith has worked out up to this point in the season and is looking to make a name for himself as a top tier TE in the fantasy world.

DEF: LA Rams, Cleveland Browns

Last season the Browns were a stellar defense, they got to face a terrible Cincy team and a Mason Rudolph-led Pittsburgh team. However, this year they will be facing Burrow (who looks like an absolute stud) and Big Ben is back. It looks the Rams will be holding down the starting spot for while.

Matchup of the Week

3rd and 41* (2-1) v Bluffton Backup Backups (1-2)

There are some teams/players that love the spotlight - it looks like 3rd and 41 belongs in that group! Talk about a perfect time to win the belt...

QB: Allen v Jackson

Well, would you look at the Allen had the tougher matchup and still doubled Jackson's score. Josh Allen has come a long way since being drafted in the last round just one year ago. Next year he might be facing a top 3 pick, who knows?

RB: Ekeler/Robinson v Sanders/Singletary

This is where the battle really separated. Ekeler and Robinson both scored in the 30's and both had monster games - while their opponents each scored a respectable 17 points, but it just wasn't enough. If Robinson and Ekeler can continue to play well - this should be a very tough team to beat.

WR: Hill/Parker v Woods/Allen

This one bright matchup for BBB and it was already too little too late. The bigger story here is Hill and how clutch he was in the MNF game. Without Hill's 20 yard TD reception, 3rd and 41 would not be donning the belt all week long!

TE: Smith v Engram

Engram might be one of the biggest letdowns in fantasy football so far this season. He had so much promise, but Jones is getting no time with the horrid NYG offensive line. Engram will continue to see targets and he will turn it around - but will it be too little too late for BBB?

FLEX: Gallup v Williams

I will say this, Gallup is good. Gallup plays for Dallas. Dallas wants to score a lot of points. Gallup will score a lot of points.

DEF/K: Browns/Myers v Falcons/Blankenship

Blllllaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: 3rd and 41 wins... RIGHT!!

iTouchdown There (1-2) v Penis Fly Trap (2-1)

I mean, who didn't see this coming? How could you not predict Lockett to score 3 touchdowns.... in the first half?!? It is a shame he didn't just keep scoring - he had a chance to wind up in the record books, instead he cooled off during the 2nd half and still work to be done from CEH and Andrews on MNF. On the flip side, the trio of Chubb/Murray/Hopkins all took care of business. However, outside of those three no player scored double digits and the kicker and defense tied for the highest scores - not a great recipe for success!

Prediction: Penis Fly Trap wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins.... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (0-3) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-1)

Aaron Rodgers is actually really good - but is he as good as Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams? ARBL scored 156 points and didn't even get anything from their defense!! It did help that Robinson was going against Atlanta, and Fuller decided to actually make the trip this week (he was at the game last week... I think). On the flip side, Ankle Holster is going to be battling to stay out of last place in the upcoming weeks. Losing Barkley is a big loss, but is it as big as having a shitty team? The world may never know....

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins.... WRONG!!

The J-Bones** (3-0) v Solo Driving Asians (0-2)

What a rough week for a team that has averaged 170 points through the first two weeks - scoring more than 50 points below average and still winning by nearly 40 points. If anything, that should tell you a little bit about these two teams...

A) The J-Bones are really, really good - scoring 117 points with 4 players not scoring double digits and one those players having an argument as being one of the top running backs.

B) Solo Driving Asians are really, really bad - it hasn't helped that their defense of choice has scored negative points 2 out of the 3 opening weeks. Not too mention Davante Adams being hurt, but goodness this is going to be a fun race between Asians, Holster, and Dixie for last place!

Prediction: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-2) v Asymmetric TD's (3-0)

Think about this, prior to Sunday Night Football - Asymmetric TD's was sitting at 86.7 points with 3 players to go. Kamara and Mahomes explode and become the top two players of the week and launch those titties into the atmosphere! They made a run at the belt and fell just short - which is fine, titties should be perked up and never sagging down by the belt. On the flip side, PEN15 is going to struggle to find points until Mostert and Julio come back to the starting lineup.

Prediction: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!

Dixie Normous (0-2) v Remember the Redskins (2-0)

Let's just be clear here, nobody feels bad for Dixie after they immaculate run in last year's playoffs. However, if you look back Dixie has had a rough start to the schedule: Wk 1 - 159 (Belt Winner), Wk 2 - 178 (6th most all-time), Wk 3 - 158.9

Plus, just think about how it is happening. This week Burkhead has 3 touchdowns - are you serious? In week 2 Gesicki, a Dolphins TE, scores 27 points... let me repeat, A DOLPHINS TIGHTEND. In week one, Jacobs scored more than he scored in weeks 2, 3, and possibly next week combined.

Long story short, you want your team to perform well? Play Dixie Normous.

Prediction: Dixie Normous wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins.... RIGHT!!

Hernandez Hit Men (2-1) v 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (1-2)

Hey look everyone, Derrick Henry actually played well this week - too bad it was against the abysmal Minnesota defense. Connor had a good showing against a Texans team that will be filing a complaint to the league about the beginning of their schedule (KC, Baltimore, Pitt).  On the flip side, Diggs had three touchdown catches - what a game! Wait.... I am receiving word.... yes, only one of those counted. H-ache for the 2G1C squad. On the bright side, there 4 teams who failed to break 90 points - 2G1C was the highest scoring of all them!

Prediction: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins.... WRONG!!

Season: 12-9
Mystery Guest: 13-8

Mwah

Week 3 Predictions

There are a variety of things that I look forward to in life. Currently, I love see joy on my children's faces - don't worry we won't get too mushy-gushy, this is neither the time nor the place. A few other things I look forward too: being outside when it is warm, Thursday Nights with the boys, cumming, taking glorious dumps, and the opening few paragraphs of this blog. I enjoy it, because I know I can write about whatever I want and it doesn't even have to be about fantasy football. If you look back through the years of this blog, there have been some really interesting openings....

A) There was that time that Gordon Hayward completely jacked up his ankle and I posted his picture. That was gruesome! (2017, October, Week 8 Predictions)

B) There was the time that I dealt with the backlash of my picks being awful - which also could ring true as I had my worst predictions week recently. I believe most of the comments came from one disgruntled manager. However, without trash talk does man even exist? (2017, September, Monday Morning Blues)

C) This was a fun post to write because it was the beginning of the trading block and rumor mill. Advancement is something that can really backfire, but this was enjoyable. We will have to see when we can bring back the block and the mill. (2019, September, Professional (Fantasy) Development)

D) The first blog was a fun one to write because new and fresh is always enjoyable. It is also fun to create rules and establish something that could possibly bring people together. This blog had nothing specific about the league, but it was enjoyable to write. (2017, September, The first rule....)

E) This may have been one the darker posts to ever be showcased on the blog. Those that were around during this time can pour one out for Maurice Tavierne. I believe I was actually upset that I had to go to a funeral and viewing and I was able to pay attention fantasy. Thinking about this now really upsets me.... how selfish of him. (2017, September, Week 3)

Good times, Good times...

It never a bad thing to reflect on the past - as long as you are willing to grow and learn from it. I have learned a variety of things, one is the fact that the fantasy football season is so early. The first three weeks of the season have generated the most wins by teams who fail to make the playoffs. For example, in 2019 - two teams finished the season 3-10 and both of those teams were able to win in week 3. Do you want to win this week? HELL YES. If you lose this week, will it completely ruin your season? Nah. Soooo, if week 3 is not as important - when does the season really start? After trading has started. Typically those that make trades are the ones that can see improvement in their standings. When a trade is made, both teams are looking to make upgrades to their roster (hopefully). This then gives the advantage to the two teams that have made a trade - assuming both are able to get something of value from the trade. Once trading starts, that is when the real season begins! I only bring this up because there have been a few teams that have stated that they are open to make trades and we could be seeing some changes taking place soon. Enough of that, let's get to the matchups....

Matchup of the Week

3rd and 41 (1-1) v Bluffton Backup Backups (1-1)

Now, don't get me wrong - there a few other enticing matchups this week, but this one is a battle for the Tech Department. I can only imagine the kind of trash talk that is coming out of that office...

"Your running backs are still running the MOCAS software. You are such a newb when it comes to updates for your roster."

"What are you talking about?? Your receivers have no RAM memory available and your graphics card is unplugged!"

"Yeah.... well.... I am going hack your firewall and drop a Trojan in that b*tch!"

Honestly, I thought this would be much funnier in my head - but then I realized I don't know shit about computer stuff and I couldn't come up with any funny one-liners. Anyways, let's jump to the matchups....

QB: Allen v Jackson

This is a battle for the ages - Supreme Dragon vs BLM. Allen and Jackson are pretty much the same quarterback - just one is white and one never seems to find his race supported in any local deli shops. The biggest difference in this matchup is the fact that one of the quarterbacks is playing in a game that feature two offenses trying to outdo each other and the other quarterback is playing against Aaron Donald. Advantage Jackson.

RB: Mixon/Robinson v Sanders/Singletary

This is actually a much closer battle than one might think. Sanders and Singletary provide the consistent workload that is needed to be successful. However, Robinson has seemed to secure the workload for Jags backfield and might be an argument for the Steal of the Draft. Mixon plays on Bengals team that is consistently battling from behind and he is a key cog in the offense. The advantage goes to Sanders/Singletary - but not by much!

WR: Hill/Gallup v Woods/Allen

Remember the QB talk about that one game that should feature lots, and lots, and lots of scoring? Wouldn't it be nice to have the number one receiver in that game? Given, that is probably the Kelce - but I would not pass up on Hill! Gallup is an extremely talented receiver, who is just waiting on his week to explode - this could be that week. Seattle is a team that is welcoming high scoring affairs and will more than likely push the ball downfield. Big advantage to Hill/Gallup.

TE: Smith v Engram

This is an interesting matchup - one TE who is currently playing extremely well and the other who should be playing well, but isn't quite there yet. Smith is playing like he is a top tier TE, but in reality when the season ends he will more than likely finish just outside the top-10. However, Minnesota just got torched by the likes of Mo Allie-Cox and Smith will be looking to keep his hot streak going. The bigger question in this matchup; What will Engram's role look like with Barkley? He is a very athletic TE, who has great hands. He should see more targets in the remainder of the season - but it is still early to bet on Engram to overtake the hot start of Smith. Advantage Smith.

FLEX: Ekeler v Williams

Uhhhhhh..... do I even need to go over this? Dolphins absolutely blow, no one from their offense should in a starting lineup. Big Advantage Ekeler.

DEF/K: Browns/Myers v Cardinals/Blankenship

There is nothing super enticing about either of these matchups. If I had to pick I would say the Browns have the slight advantage going against the Washington Engines. Honestly, if I was a betting man - I would still stay away from betting this matchup.

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins

Mystery Guest: 3rd and 41 wins

Remember the Redskins (2-0) v Dixie Normous (0-2)

It looks like someone is beginning to pay the price for last season's playoff run. Dixie is 0-2, but they actually have outscored 8 teams through the first two weeks. The only problem is they have faced the belt winner in week one and a team that scored 170+ points in week two. On the flip side, RtR has lost their heart and soul of their lineup. You can not replace a player like Run CMC. If RtR has any chance in this matchup - Wilson and Metcalf will need to connect for 2+ touchdowns and Ertz will need to return to his top tier TE self. I am not banking on it - Dixie Normous puts the league on notice and finally chalks one up in the "W" column...

Prediction: Dixie Normous wins

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins

iTouchdown There (1-1) v Penis Fly Trap (1-1)

There are two teams that scored over 170 points last week, The J-Bones (belt winner) and iTouchdown There. PFT played The J-Bones last week and their reward for facing the belt winner? They now face the other team that scored 170+ points. If you look at the average points scored iTouchdown has scored an average of 155 points and PFT has scored an average 112. iTouchdown is rocking a double TE lineup - which can be good, but is it good when your TE are Gesicki and Schultz?!? Just a stunt like that, PFT is going to shock the league and knock-off a possible contender for the belt....

Prediction: Penis Fly Trap wins

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins... and takes the belt!

Ankle Holster (0-2) v Aaron Rodger Blows Llams (1-1)

What would you do if you lost Saquon Barkley for the season? Just pray and hope you drafted two other decent running backs. That is exactly what Ankle Holster did, but it comes at a cost - the receivers are suspect at best. ARBL has two good running backs and two good wide receivers. The biggest question mark is whether Fuller will actually contribute in any way what so ever. If he can be Houston's number one receiver - ARBL has a chance at winning the belt. However, Pitt provides a very tough matchup - no belt for ARBL, but should be an easy win....

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

The J-Bones** (2-0) v Solo Driving Asians (0-2)

It was said best in an email chain, "If you want to win in this league, skip being at the draft in person." I am not sure I have ever seen a more lopsided matchup, it only makes me want to pick the Asians even more. It is just a shame this Asian team is not quite down finger banging themselves as drive straight through a red light and get J-boned by a semi.

Prediction: The J-Bones wins

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-1) v Asymmetric TDs (2-0)

I take what I said earlier, this my friends is the most lopsided matchup. Mahomes is going to be matching Jackson shot for shot and Kamara is looking like the new Run CMC. Let me just put it this way, the best players in Wrinkle's lineup is Mike Evans and Julio Jones - both of whom might not even be the number one receiver on their respective teams (fantasy-wise). Evans does get a boost if Godwin does not play, but this lopsided affair is only going to add insult to injury for any Niner fan out there!

Prediction: Asymmetric TDs wins.... and keeps the belt in the middle school

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TDs wins

Hernandez Hit Men (1-1) v 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (1-1)

Let's not lie, things have not gone as predicted for HHM. Henry has been wildly inefficient, Conner was hurt the first game, Kittle is sidelined for some time, and Green has dropped too many passes to be considered a top WR these days. However, Newton has looked extremely good and he is essentially a top RB and QB. The bigger question is with 2G1C, is Fournette going to be the answer is Tampa? If that is the case, 2G1C has a team that could make plenty of noise this season. In fact, if Fournette is the answer for Tampa - 2G1C could make a few runs at the belt.

Prediction: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins

Good Luck all, except for iTouchdown - may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash, eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

Week 2 Results

There is a point in every NFL (FF) season, when a team needs to realize what they are. A team needs to realize what they can and can not do. Let's examine some NFL teams....

Colts: Run the ball, manage the clock - stop throwing into double coverage. The Colts looked good in week 2, when they ran the ball and dominated field position.

Seahawks: Every single game could possibly end-up in the 30's and the Seahawks should pushing the ball upfield with their speedy receivers. #LETRUSSCOOK

Dolphins: Just pack up the season and hope you can lock up the number one selection for next season.

Bills: Just let Josh Allen do whatever he wants, whenever he wants - he is the entire offense.

The J-Bones: Just keep scoring copious amounts of points.... you may never lose this season.

As I was writing this blog, it dawned on me - I never did a Team of the Week entry for weeks one and two. Should I start doing them now? Ehhhhhhhhhh. Instead this year we will highlight the team that won the belt. This week we will be examining......

Team of the Week

The J-Bones

How are The J-Bones doing this? How have they won the belt two times in row, the 2nd posting a score good enough to break into the top five all-time weekly outputs? For The J-Bones it all starts with the running backs....

Josh Jacobs - During MNF, the broadcast showed a chart that placed Josh Jacobs next to Marcus Allen and Bo Jackson. Jacobs had more rushing yards in his first 15 games (what would be a rookie season) - AND IT WASN'T CLOSE!! I don't know if it is because he is on the west coast or if it is because he isn't playing alongside a big money quarterback - but he has flown under the radar and is quietly sitting at 8th in RB scoring with two guys ahead of him out for the season or 6-8 weeks - essentially making him a top 5 RB.

Aaron Jones - Well, well, well - how in the actualy f*ck did Aaron Jones last until The J-Bones 2nd round pick? Aaron Jones is a steal in the 2nd round, he may have been a steal in the back end of the first round. Green Bay highly favors Jones over any other running back in the stable - which enables him to be main rushing back and the main receiving back. Jones has a chance to finish as a top 5 RB this season, currently sitting 9th. So yes, if you are keeping track The J-Bones have two running backs that could essentially wind up be top 5 RB's in a league with some teams failing to even roster two starting running backs.

Does all that firepower come with some kind of handicap? Maybe his receivers are down this year? Nahhhhhh, Hilton/R. Anderson/JuJu are all the number one receivers on their teams. The only downside for his receivers is the fact that Indianapolis is becoming a run-heavy offense and Hilton has no other receiving presence on the team - he will be facing double coverage all season long. Anderson is always going to be a boom-or-bust guy, but these first two weeks have been great - let's see what happens without Run CMC to keep the defenses attention. JuJu is good... as long as Big Ben is healthy. But in all reality - would I take those three WRs if you gave me Jones and Jacobs... can you go to the movie theater and witness your race in a variety of acting roles? (The answer to the question is yes).

You might be saying, "Well, hold the phone - who does this joker have as his QB?" Dak motherf*ckin' Prescott. Yes, he has a top 5 QB as well. Oh and while we are at it, last week his TE (Higbee) happen to catch 3 touchdowns. Now, that won't always happen - but it at least shows that Higbee is on a team with firepower and he will get redzone opportunities. Yes, this team is loaded - which why they have won the belt 2 times in a row, but as we have all seen - lots of things can happen in football, let's just see how the season plays out!

Time to get to the match-ups....

Matchup of the Week

Penis Fly Trap (1-1) v The J-Bones** (2-0)

As you all noted from the "Team of the Week" this matchup was not close in the least bit. Anything you read in the predictions post was a complete farce and I apologize for any harm that may have come from that. Not only did The J-Bones win the belt, but they nearly doubled their opponent. Whoever is the owner of PFT might as well crawl into a hole and never show his face again - WHAT A LOSER!

Prediction: Penis Fly Trap wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins... RIGHT!!

Asymmetric TDs (2-0) v Solo Driving Asians (0-2)

It looks as though the Asians could not dodge the injury pandemic that hit the NFL in week two. Luckily, Adams injury was not serious and he was held out of the remainder of the game as a precautionary - he should be available in week 3. However, in a league that is seeing more and more scoring - if you can't score more than 100 points you might as well just pack up and head home. Especially when you are facing a team with Mahomes and Kamara. Shoooooooooot, Titties defense would have almost been the Asians top point scorer! The Asians had better open those eyes a little wider and look into some trade options or scour the scraps on the waiver wire - because something needs to change!

Prediction: Asymmetric TDs wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TDs wins.... RIGHT!!

Remember the Redskins (2-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (1-1)

I know I am not a genius, but if you were to look at the roster of ARBL and the points scored this week without looking at the total - I would bet that you would be off by nearly 30 points on your prediction. It looks like ARBL should have score at least more than 100 points. I don't know what is more alarming the fact that ARBL barely broke 80 or that Houston has to put a search party together to try and find Fuller V? However, #LETRUSSCOOK is alive and well. Not to mention Ridley stepping up and helping out! It is a good sign for RtR if Run CMC is the 3rd highest scorer on your team - that means you are probably headed for a win!

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins.... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-1) v Ankle Holster (0-2)

What is the quickest way to go from being one of the best projected teams to one of the worst projected teams? Probably losing Saquon Barkley. Luckily for Ankle Holster, they do still have two other suitable running backs - but what was once a huuuuge advantage has now just become slightly above average. Brady didn't exactly light it up - which could be the new norm for the ex-Patriot, current-Baby Soul Sucker. On the flip side, Miles Sanders returned to the Eagles and made a huge impact. This is a drastic change from one week ago when BBB left him in the starting lineup. Fortunately, BBB did not need Campbell (injured) as this was pretty much put to bed the moment Barkley went down.

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins.... WRONG!!

2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (1-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (0-2)

Just think about this, 2G1C scored over 160 points and was only the 3rd this week in points. Not to demeanor the performance by any means - you can't go wrong with 5 guys scoring in the 20's. And how about that savvy play of starting Tre'Quan Smith - who just so happen to outscore his projection! Do you have two y's in your name? Because that play was too wise my friend, too wise! On the flip side, PEN15 drops to 0-2 on the season and is currently on the struggle bus for fantasy football. At least you have your actual NFL team to cheer for! Wait.... hold on.... I have some breaking news, yes - another 49er starter is injured. It seems this time the starting left tackle tore his right pectoral while rocking the Death Shredder at a slumber party. Bummer

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins... RIGHT!!

iTouchdown There (1-1) v Dixie Normous (0-2)

Well, I guess 2020 is a bit different than 2019 for Dixie Normus. Dixie scored 136 points this week, a very respectable score - one that will usually find itself in the winning column. However, this year Dixie has faced the belt winner in week one and the 2nd highest score in the week 2. Some might call it unlucky, some might call it karma - either way, that sh*t just happened! It looks like the rookie wanted to make a splash in his first season in the fantasy league - well good on ya! iTouchdown scored a 178.04 points - good enough to put him in the top 5 all-time for weekly scores! Wait.... hold on.... I am getting another update.... well, it looks like I must apologize The J-Bones have just bumped you out of the top 5 before you even had a chance to get into the record books. Better luck next time - but hey, at least you got the win!

Prediction: Dixie Normus wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins... RIGHT!!

Hernandez Hit Men (1-1) v 3rd and 41 (1-1)

Well, it looks like Derrick Henry is not who we thought he was! If he can not get his efficiency up, HHM is going to be in some biiiiiiiggggg trouble! Newton looks like the Newton of old and Conner is going to be good - but after that, it is going to be shots in the dark. On the flip side, 3rd and 41 had steady output from pretty much every position and Allen had his usual monster game. If I was an opposing defense against Josh Allen I would play 5 QB spies all at once. The Bills will go as far Allen can take them, and right now that seems to be pretty dang far!

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins.... WRONG!!

Mwah

Predictions: 7-7

Mystery Guest: 9-5 

Week 2 Predictions

 What is the best thing about Switzerland?

                    - No clue, but the flag is a big plus!

Why actors tell each other to "break a leg?"

                    - Because every play has a cast!

Did you hear about the new restaurant called karma?

                    - No menu, you just get what you deserve!

What do you get when you buy the NFL ticket, but go to the lakes on the weekend?

                    - A basement full of guys watching your tv on Sunday afternoon

Did you enjoy those jokes? Surely, you did. I am not sure how you couldn't - especially that last one - amirite? amirite? But seriously, the Abbett basement has been offered to us if we would like to watch all the games (he has the NFL ticket, if you didn't catch onto that from the joke). If anyone would like to go over and watch - I will go over as well, if not - no biggie. I mean I guess since he did win the belt in week 1 - he do whatever the f*ck he wants to do. Hell, he might even be on the tail end of two-day bender as you read this right now! Celebrating that big victory, scoring all them points! What does he get for his reward? A nice Penis FlyTrap just waiting to clamp....

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones* (1-0) v Penis FlyTrap (1-0)

Well, well, well it looks like the belt winner now has to face a team that consistently finds themselves near the top of the standings year-in and year-out. As good as PFT (and former teams) have been, they have yet to win the big game - is this their year? As of right now, PFT is in desperate need of a 2nd RB and the rumor mill states that he is willing to throw in Andrews (an elite TE pass catcher) to make it happen. However, as it stands - the matchups look very close....

QB: D. Jones/D. Prescott

It is a battle of the D's - and we are going to finder out which one is longer better. Don't sleep on Daniel Jones as he was able to move the ball against a very tough Pitt defense. He has plenty of weapons to use and they should be in position to have to throw the ball a lot. However, Prescott has a beautiful matchup against Atlanta. This game could be the shootout of the week as Dallas lost their top LB and Atlanta hates to play defense. Advantage Dak (and the light-skin D of his)

RB: CEH/Murray v Jacobs/Jones

There is a clearcut winner when it comes down to the RB departments battling it out. CEH/Jacobs/Jones all are a toss-up, but PFT falls behind when they are forced to Murray as their 2nd RB. Jones and Jacobs have running back friendly matchups could be called upon often. Big Advantage Jacobs/Jones

WR: Cooper/Chark v JuJu/Hilton

This is a close matchup, but the edge has to go to Cooper/Chark. JuJu is loving having Big Ben back at the helm, but if it wasn't for a couple touchdowns last week JuJu would have mediocre - finishing with 6 catches and 69 yards. Hilton is going to be constantly doubled-teamed - but he always has the chance to bust one wide open as Rivers will be constantly looking his way. Cooper is the clearcut number one receiver for Dallas and since joining the Cowboy he has consistently been in the top 10 every week. Chark is the number one receiver on a team that should be trailing in the 2nd half often. Advantage Cooper/Chark

TE: Andrews v Higbee

This one is not close. Andrews is essentially Baltimore's number one receiver - which places him in the elite of TE's. Higbee is 4th or 5th option and not even the only TE that LAR plays. Major advantage Andrews (if he isn't traded before the start of the week.

FLEX: Lockett v Anderson

On paper this one has a clear advantage for Lockett - but not so fast. Anderson has emerged as Carolina's number one receiver and always a deep threat. Lockett should have the better week (and is far more consistent), but Anderson makes this matchup closer than it may look on paper. Advantage Lockett

DEF/K: Titans/Koo v Ravens/Gould

In week one a team played a defense against their own wide receiver - that defense scored -9, but the wide receiver had a big game. I don't see that happening with Titans and Chark, but the Titans should have their way with the Jags o-line. Ravens matchup with Houston, who has had 10 days to prepare for this week. Houston has a good offense with plenty of options - but Ravens defense also shut down a Cleveland offense that had plenty of options. I guess we will see if the Ravens defense can shut down Watson and make him look as bad as they made Baker look (and Baker looked awful). Advantage Titans/Koo

This week's MotW is gonna be a good one, we will see how The J-Bones plays after ejaculating their load all over week 1. Did they shoot their shot too early, or are they a two-pump kind of team?

Prediction: Penis FlyTrap wins

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

Asymmetric TD's (1-0) v Solo Driving Asians (0-1)

As it stands, this matchup looks to be a little one-sided on paper... and don't expect anything less. Mahomes does have a tough matchup against the LAC defense - they love to get after the quarterback, but I would never worry about the ketchup loving light-skin brotha. Gurley looked to be the feature back for ATL and he goes against a Dallas defense that lost Pro-Bowl LB Vander Esch. The big question for the Asians is whether or not the defense can improve from the -9 points in the first week. More then likely they have ran the numbers and think the improvement should happen - Asians are never wrong when running the numbers.... but be weary of their driving (and activities while driving). Even with a decent output from the defense it shouldn't be enough to stop the titties....

Prediction: Asymmetric TD's wins

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TD's wins

Remember the Redskins (1-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (1-0)

This is the only other matchup featuring two teams that grabbed a win in the first week. One team got much stronger due to injury - ARBL welcomes Taylor to the starting lineup thanks the Marlon Mack injury that will sideline him for the remaining season. However, last week Hines looked to be the back that will benefit the most and he will serve as Rivers check down receiver. The three-headed monster (CMC/Wilson/Ridley) will look to continue their big performances and they will need to if they want to keep up with ARBL. There is just too much firepower in the llama blowing lineup and too many good matchups; ARBL should make a serious run at the belt this week.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... and grabs the belt!

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins

Bluffton Backup Backups (0-1) v Ankle Holster (0-1)

As it stands - the projections favor the 19-incher, but there is plenty of roster shifting that can be done by BBB. Sanders will clearly be taken out of the lineup and more than likely replaced with Hines, but BBB could also move up RoJo from the flex and open a flex position to be filled by almost anyone on the bench except his two quarterbacks - still can not figure out why BBB is carrying 3 different quarterbacks.... maybe he knows something we don't? On the flip side, the Holster looks strong with 3... yes, I said 3 starting workhorse running backs. Some teams are struggling to find 2 starting RBs and this team has 3! However, Barkley has an awful offensive line and now has to face Khalil Mack and the boys. Ankle Holster will also be relying on the Eagles to feed JoeDirt (Goedert) rather than the top tier TE (Ertz). Look for the running backs of Ankle Holster to step-up in a big way and secure this win....

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins... and takes down the Belt!

2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (0-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (1-0)

You really hate to see it - a team riddled with injuries after week 1. Some might say it is karma from an attempt at a bad trade last season; Some might say it is just a sign that The Swindler needs to return. Either way you want to take it, 2G1C has been hit with the injury bug. Bell has been placed on the IR; Thomas is now doubtful for week 2; Lindsay is questionable for Denver who already seemed happy with Gordon. Not too mention they are facing a team that features arguably the best WR tandem in the league and a workhorse running back. But hey, maybe the BLM will strike down Brees again (video audio NSFW, but then again - neither is this blog)...

Then again, maybe not.....

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cup wins

iTouchdown There (0-1) v Dixie Normus (0-1)

What a heartbreaking loss in week 1 for iTouchdown - lost by .7 points and had two MNF fumbles. Murray and Hopkins look like a killer stack play - but outside of that, this team is going to struggle to find points. Crowder exploded last week, but you can not count on that - especially in that Jets offense. If I were iTouchdown I would be looking to make a move or two in the upcoming weeks. On the flip side, Dixie actually has a strong lineup (as oppose to last year's squad that miraculously won it all). If it wasn't for facing the belt winner in Week 1, Dixie would have beaten 8 other teams - no worries, Dixie should win this week as Elliott welcomes an atrocious ATL defense and Rodgers looks to continue his hot start. 

Prediction: Dixie Normus wins

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins

Hernandez Hit Men (1-0) v 3rd and 41 (0-1)

HHM was projected to be the strongest team - but it looks like it might find itself in the middle of the pack after week 1's scoring. Henry looked very inefficient - but he will still get plenty of opportunity. Conner is now dealing with an ankle sprain and Snell looked very good as his backup. It is going to take a big showing from Henry/Newton/Kittle to keep this team undefeated. For "3rd and 41" Allen has a terrific matchup against a Miami defense that allowed multiple rushing touchdowns to Newton in week 1. Ekeler is going to miss having Rivers as his quarterback, but Mixon and Hill should be able to help out Allen with the scoring.

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins

Enjoy the week and good luck to everyone (except The J-Bones, may the entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe)!

Mwah

Week 1 Results

 NFL is back baby! There was plenty to take in....

- Colts still suck with Phillip "Bitter Beer Face" Rivers

- Brady might just realize that the NFC is much tougher than the AFC East

- No matter what happens, the Browns and Lions will always find a way to lose

- The Cardinals offense is going to be really good

Not much of that is fantasy related, but hey I just wanted to think of a way to inform everyone the Brady lost. Who doesn't love that? Anyone who kisses their own 11-year old son on the lips deserves to be rooted against.... let alone if the kiss lasts longer than a few seconds. One more time to really burn the image in the brain....

Anyways enough with this mouth rapist, let's get to the results....

Penis FlyTrap (1-0) vs Solo Driving Asians (0-1)

Ben Franklin once said, "In this world nothing can be certain, except death, taxes, and Davante Adams catching footballs." Last year Adams finished the season with 3 straight games of scoring over 20 points. Obviously, you can never expect a 40 point outburst - but you probably don't want to be starting the opposing defense when that happens. Not too mention, the fact that the finga bangin' asian also was roughly 35 points away from his optimal lineup - and that still includes a -9 for his defense! PFT is going to need to swing a trade soon or his well-rounded lineup is going to get left behind. Anyone in the market for a WR?

Prediction: Penis FlyTrap wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Penis FlyTrap wins.... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (0-1) vs Remember the Redskins (1-0)

It is going to be tough to beat RtR if they have three players average 30 points each week. The stacked lineup with Wilson/Metcalf could end up be pretty good, but also consider the fact that Atlanta's defense is going to end near the bottom of the league. Ridley was the benefactor of Julio Jones seeing constant double coverage. On the flip side, BBB definitely needs to be a little more focused. With their top lineup is 34 points better than the one they started; I am not sure Miles Sanders is really what you were looking for. We are all pulling for the BBB and what they did for the league last year after Lord Voldemort left us all out to dry, but daaaaaannnnnnggggg boi - you better find a way to compete!

Ohhhhh hey, RtR is the market for a new kicker - guess another Browns player just isn't getting the job done!

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins.... RIGHT!!

Asymmetric TD's (1-0) vs 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (0-1)

This one came down to a Monday night battle between Lindsay and Boswell - this day belongs to the brand! Boswell ends up doubling Lindsay score as Denver continued to feed Gordon the rock. The bigger question for 2G1C is going to be who do they use at running back? Bell is going to be out for a couple of weeks; Lindsay is the clear number 2 back in Denver, and Hunt plays for the Browns. Might need to try and make swap to switch things up - maybe talk to TD's? The best receiver score was from Edelman - who has a quarterback that would prefer to run the ball rather than pass it. This was a tight one, but both teams should be looking to make a few deals in the near future in order to keep up with the upper-echelon.

Prediction: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows llams (1-0) vs iTouchdown There (0-1)

What a good matchup!! This one came down to fractions of a point and to think, going into Monday night iTouchdown was 50 points down with 5 guys remaining. Just think, this matchup came down to Johnson fumbling the ball. ARBL did his job and welcomed the rookie to the league - albeit extremely close. For ARBL it was extremely well-rounded scoring, as 8 out of 9 roster positions scored in double digits. The only player who didnt reach double digits was Scott and that should change with Mack getting injured and Taylor more than likely getting the early down work. 

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins.... WRONG!!

The J-Bones (1-0) vs Dixie Normus (0-1)

Well, well, well - it looks like Dixie Normus has run out of luck. No longer are the days of facing the lowest team each week, the boy is gonna have to score points this season! J-Bones had their "?" draft pick show out this week - Jacobs had a huge game with 3 rushing TDs. The only downside is when the the "law of averages" kicks in and Jacobs returns back to normal, one can't expect 30 point outings each week. Robbie "Boom-or-Bust" Anderson had a huge week, trying to make a name for himself as the Panthers' number one wide receiver. Dixie did score well with 3 players near the 30 point mark, but outside of the those three the next highest point scorer was Waller with 10.5. There is going to need to be a much more help if Dixie is going to want to try and hoist the trophy again this year!

Prediction: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-0) vs Hoosier Daddy (0-1)

I don't want to say, "I told you so." Buuuuuutttt, I did say that this one had upset written all over it. Watkins is known to have big starts to the season and then fizzle out. If he can stay healthy, it looks like there will be plenty of opportunity for him in the KC offense. Jones is clearly a top-5 wide receiver and Mostert is the bell cow in San Fran. After that though, there is going to need to be help! Luckily Hoosier Daddy sh*t the OBJ, and nobody accept for Josh Allen showed up this week. That should change in the future - there is just too much explosiveness on the roster. It does go to show though - this is what can happen in Fantasy Football - a lesser team can beat anybody on any given day (right Dixie Normus?)

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!!

Matchup of the Week

Ankle Holster (0-1) vs Hernandez Hitmen (1-0)

QB: Newton ends up on top with a very uncharacteristic game from Brady. The last time Brady threw two interceptions in one game was in 2018. Newton flipped the script on this matchup with his mobility. He was able to rush for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns - which would have placed him in RB1 territory. Newton is going to need to continue to run the ball, he was only able to manage 155 yards through the air.

RB: Barkley needs a new offense line - wha wha we wha. Carson looks to be legit - the only question is how long can he stay healthy and how often will he get the rock. Seattle has shown a propensity to just Wilson do his thing in the past, which does result in the Carson getting left out a little. On the flip side, Henry is going to touch the ball... A LOT! He needs to be more efficient, because 30+ touches for just over 100 yards (against a V. Millerless Denver defense) is not going to get the job done. Connor got hurt - but his job looks to be more of a timeshare the way Snell was running the ball!

WR: Mclaurin scored the most points, but the Washington offense as whole looked pretty ragged. The more surprising thing is the fact that both Green and Sanders were able to score 10 points. Sanders night was saved by a touchdown - and don't look for that to happen often. I would bet there won't be many more nights Michael Thomas is held to less than 5 points. 

TE: Kittle won the matchup - just not by as much as one would expect. Kittle is in the argument for the top TE in the NFL. Gronk is fresh out of retirement and on a team filled with options, don't expect much different throughout the year. Gronk will sprinkle in a touchdown here and there - but Kittle will soon separate himself and join the elite tier. 

FLEX: David Johnson looked good in week 1, what will he look like as the year progresses? He is known to deal with injuries - so time will only tell if his body can withstand an entire year's worth of hits. Brown had a good game; however, everyone will be looking forward to playing the Browns. It looks like they could be candidates for shootout games - that or the Ravens are just that good.

DEF/K: Things took a bad turn for the Cowboys defense right from the get-go. They lost their star LB Vander Esch to a collarbone injury. This is a huuuuge set back for Dallas, as the they love to get after the quarterback and it tends to leave their LB matched up against the opposing RB. Crosby had a great game, but it was matched by the Patriots defense. 

In the end, the entire matchup may have come down to the fact that Ankle was nearly 40 points away from his optimal lineup - just poor management.

Prediction: Ankle Holster.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster.... WRONG!!

I know I am not the only one that can't wait for week 2 - be on the lookout for predictions this week! Also, word on the street is there are few teams looking to make some changes - get those trade offers flowing.

Mwah

Predictions: 5-2

Mysterty Guest: 4-3