Week 2 Results

There is a point in every NFL (FF) season, when a team needs to realize what they are. A team needs to realize what they can and can not do. Let's examine some NFL teams....

Colts: Run the ball, manage the clock - stop throwing into double coverage. The Colts looked good in week 2, when they ran the ball and dominated field position.

Seahawks: Every single game could possibly end-up in the 30's and the Seahawks should pushing the ball upfield with their speedy receivers. #LETRUSSCOOK

Dolphins: Just pack up the season and hope you can lock up the number one selection for next season.

Bills: Just let Josh Allen do whatever he wants, whenever he wants - he is the entire offense.

The J-Bones: Just keep scoring copious amounts of points.... you may never lose this season.

As I was writing this blog, it dawned on me - I never did a Team of the Week entry for weeks one and two. Should I start doing them now? Ehhhhhhhhhh. Instead this year we will highlight the team that won the belt. This week we will be examining......

Team of the Week

The J-Bones

How are The J-Bones doing this? How have they won the belt two times in row, the 2nd posting a score good enough to break into the top five all-time weekly outputs? For The J-Bones it all starts with the running backs....

Josh Jacobs - During MNF, the broadcast showed a chart that placed Josh Jacobs next to Marcus Allen and Bo Jackson. Jacobs had more rushing yards in his first 15 games (what would be a rookie season) - AND IT WASN'T CLOSE!! I don't know if it is because he is on the west coast or if it is because he isn't playing alongside a big money quarterback - but he has flown under the radar and is quietly sitting at 8th in RB scoring with two guys ahead of him out for the season or 6-8 weeks - essentially making him a top 5 RB.

Aaron Jones - Well, well, well - how in the actualy f*ck did Aaron Jones last until The J-Bones 2nd round pick? Aaron Jones is a steal in the 2nd round, he may have been a steal in the back end of the first round. Green Bay highly favors Jones over any other running back in the stable - which enables him to be main rushing back and the main receiving back. Jones has a chance to finish as a top 5 RB this season, currently sitting 9th. So yes, if you are keeping track The J-Bones have two running backs that could essentially wind up be top 5 RB's in a league with some teams failing to even roster two starting running backs.

Does all that firepower come with some kind of handicap? Maybe his receivers are down this year? Nahhhhhh, Hilton/R. Anderson/JuJu are all the number one receivers on their teams. The only downside for his receivers is the fact that Indianapolis is becoming a run-heavy offense and Hilton has no other receiving presence on the team - he will be facing double coverage all season long. Anderson is always going to be a boom-or-bust guy, but these first two weeks have been great - let's see what happens without Run CMC to keep the defenses attention. JuJu is good... as long as Big Ben is healthy. But in all reality - would I take those three WRs if you gave me Jones and Jacobs... can you go to the movie theater and witness your race in a variety of acting roles? (The answer to the question is yes).

You might be saying, "Well, hold the phone - who does this joker have as his QB?" Dak motherf*ckin' Prescott. Yes, he has a top 5 QB as well. Oh and while we are at it, last week his TE (Higbee) happen to catch 3 touchdowns. Now, that won't always happen - but it at least shows that Higbee is on a team with firepower and he will get redzone opportunities. Yes, this team is loaded - which why they have won the belt 2 times in a row, but as we have all seen - lots of things can happen in football, let's just see how the season plays out!

Time to get to the match-ups....

Matchup of the Week

Penis Fly Trap (1-1) v The J-Bones** (2-0)

As you all noted from the "Team of the Week" this matchup was not close in the least bit. Anything you read in the predictions post was a complete farce and I apologize for any harm that may have come from that. Not only did The J-Bones win the belt, but they nearly doubled their opponent. Whoever is the owner of PFT might as well crawl into a hole and never show his face again - WHAT A LOSER!

Prediction: Penis Fly Trap wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins... RIGHT!!

Asymmetric TDs (2-0) v Solo Driving Asians (0-2)

It looks as though the Asians could not dodge the injury pandemic that hit the NFL in week two. Luckily, Adams injury was not serious and he was held out of the remainder of the game as a precautionary - he should be available in week 3. However, in a league that is seeing more and more scoring - if you can't score more than 100 points you might as well just pack up and head home. Especially when you are facing a team with Mahomes and Kamara. Shoooooooooot, Titties defense would have almost been the Asians top point scorer! The Asians had better open those eyes a little wider and look into some trade options or scour the scraps on the waiver wire - because something needs to change!

Prediction: Asymmetric TDs wins.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TDs wins.... RIGHT!!

Remember the Redskins (2-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (1-1)

I know I am not a genius, but if you were to look at the roster of ARBL and the points scored this week without looking at the total - I would bet that you would be off by nearly 30 points on your prediction. It looks like ARBL should have score at least more than 100 points. I don't know what is more alarming the fact that ARBL barely broke 80 or that Houston has to put a search party together to try and find Fuller V? However, #LETRUSSCOOK is alive and well. Not to mention Ridley stepping up and helping out! It is a good sign for RtR if Run CMC is the 3rd highest scorer on your team - that means you are probably headed for a win!

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins.... RIGHT!!

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-1) v Ankle Holster (0-2)

What is the quickest way to go from being one of the best projected teams to one of the worst projected teams? Probably losing Saquon Barkley. Luckily for Ankle Holster, they do still have two other suitable running backs - but what was once a huuuuge advantage has now just become slightly above average. Brady didn't exactly light it up - which could be the new norm for the ex-Patriot, current-Baby Soul Sucker. On the flip side, Miles Sanders returned to the Eagles and made a huge impact. This is a drastic change from one week ago when BBB left him in the starting lineup. Fortunately, BBB did not need Campbell (injured) as this was pretty much put to bed the moment Barkley went down.

Prediction: Ankle Holster wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins.... WRONG!!

2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (1-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (0-2)

Just think about this, 2G1C scored over 160 points and was only the 3rd this week in points. Not to demeanor the performance by any means - you can't go wrong with 5 guys scoring in the 20's. And how about that savvy play of starting Tre'Quan Smith - who just so happen to outscore his projection! Do you have two y's in your name? Because that play was too wise my friend, too wise! On the flip side, PEN15 drops to 0-2 on the season and is currently on the struggle bus for fantasy football. At least you have your actual NFL team to cheer for! Wait.... hold on.... I have some breaking news, yes - another 49er starter is injured. It seems this time the starting left tackle tore his right pectoral while rocking the Death Shredder at a slumber party. Bummer

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins... RIGHT!!

iTouchdown There (1-1) v Dixie Normous (0-2)

Well, I guess 2020 is a bit different than 2019 for Dixie Normus. Dixie scored 136 points this week, a very respectable score - one that will usually find itself in the winning column. However, this year Dixie has faced the belt winner in week one and the 2nd highest score in the week 2. Some might call it unlucky, some might call it karma - either way, that sh*t just happened! It looks like the rookie wanted to make a splash in his first season in the fantasy league - well good on ya! iTouchdown scored a 178.04 points - good enough to put him in the top 5 all-time for weekly scores! Wait.... hold on.... I am getting another update.... well, it looks like I must apologize The J-Bones have just bumped you out of the top 5 before you even had a chance to get into the record books. Better luck next time - but hey, at least you got the win!

Prediction: Dixie Normus wins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins... RIGHT!!

Hernandez Hit Men (1-1) v 3rd and 41 (1-1)

Well, it looks like Derrick Henry is not who we thought he was! If he can not get his efficiency up, HHM is going to be in some biiiiiiiggggg trouble! Newton looks like the Newton of old and Conner is going to be good - but after that, it is going to be shots in the dark. On the flip side, 3rd and 41 had steady output from pretty much every position and Allen had his usual monster game. If I was an opposing defense against Josh Allen I would play 5 QB spies all at once. The Bills will go as far Allen can take them, and right now that seems to be pretty dang far!

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hernandez Hit Men wins.... WRONG!!

Mwah

Predictions: 7-7

Mystery Guest: 9-5