NFL is back baby! There was plenty to take in....
- Colts still suck with Phillip "Bitter Beer Face" Rivers
- Brady might just realize that the NFC is much tougher than the AFC East
- No matter what happens, the Browns and Lions will always find a way to lose
- The Cardinals offense is going to be really good
Not much of that is fantasy related, but hey I just wanted to think of a way to inform everyone the Brady lost. Who doesn't love that? Anyone who kisses their own 11-year old son on the lips deserves to be rooted against.... let alone if the kiss lasts longer than a few seconds. One more time to really burn the image in the brain....
Penis FlyTrap (1-0) vs Solo Driving Asians (0-1)
Ben Franklin once said, "In this world nothing can be certain, except death, taxes, and Davante Adams catching footballs." Last year Adams finished the season with 3 straight games of scoring over 20 points. Obviously, you can never expect a 40 point outburst - but you probably don't want to be starting the opposing defense when that happens. Not too mention, the fact that the finga bangin' asian also was roughly 35 points away from his optimal lineup - and that still includes a -9 for his defense! PFT is going to need to swing a trade soon or his well-rounded lineup is going to get left behind. Anyone in the market for a WR?
Prediction: Penis FlyTrap wins.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Penis FlyTrap wins.... RIGHT!!
Bluffton Backup Backups (0-1) vs Remember the Redskins (1-0)
It is going to be tough to beat RtR if they have three players average 30 points each week. The stacked lineup with Wilson/Metcalf could end up be pretty good, but also consider the fact that Atlanta's defense is going to end near the bottom of the league. Ridley was the benefactor of Julio Jones seeing constant double coverage. On the flip side, BBB definitely needs to be a little more focused. With their top lineup is 34 points better than the one they started; I am not sure Miles Sanders is really what you were looking for. We are all pulling for the BBB and what they did for the league last year after Lord Voldemort left us all out to dry, but daaaaaannnnnnggggg boi - you better find a way to compete!
Ohhhhh hey, RtR is the market for a new kicker - guess another Browns player just isn't getting the job done!
Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins.... RIGHT!!
Asymmetric TD's (1-0) vs 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (0-1)
This one came down to a Monday night battle between Lindsay and Boswell - this day belongs to the brand! Boswell ends up doubling Lindsay score as Denver continued to feed Gordon the rock. The bigger question for 2G1C is going to be who do they use at running back? Bell is going to be out for a couple of weeks; Lindsay is the clear number 2 back in Denver, and Hunt plays for the Browns. Might need to try and make swap to switch things up - maybe talk to TD's? The best receiver score was from Edelman - who has a quarterback that would prefer to run the ball rather than pass it. This was a tight one, but both teams should be looking to make a few deals in the near future in order to keep up with the upper-echelon.
Prediction: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Asymmetric TD's wins.... RIGHT!!
Aaron Rodgers Blows llams (1-0) vs iTouchdown There (0-1)
What a good matchup!! This one came down to fractions of a point and to think, going into Monday night iTouchdown was 50 points down with 5 guys remaining. Just think, this matchup came down to Johnson fumbling the ball. ARBL did his job and welcomed the rookie to the league - albeit extremely close. For ARBL it was extremely well-rounded scoring, as 8 out of 9 roster positions scored in double digits. The only player who didnt reach double digits was Scott and that should change with Mack getting injured and Taylor more than likely getting the early down work.
Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: iTouchdown There wins.... WRONG!!
The J-Bones (1-0) vs Dixie Normus (0-1)
Well, well, well - it looks like Dixie Normus has run out of luck. No longer are the days of facing the lowest team each week, the boy is gonna have to score points this season! J-Bones had their "?" draft pick show out this week - Jacobs had a huge game with 3 rushing TDs. The only downside is when the the "law of averages" kicks in and Jacobs returns back to normal, one can't expect 30 point outings each week. Robbie "Boom-or-Bust" Anderson had a huge week, trying to make a name for himself as the Panthers' number one wide receiver. Dixie did score well with 3 players near the 30 point mark, but outside of the those three the next highest point scorer was Waller with 10.5. There is going to need to be a much more help if Dixie is going to want to try and hoist the trophy again this year!
Prediction: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins.... RIGHT!!
PEN15 Wrinkle (1-0) vs Hoosier Daddy (0-1)
I don't want to say, "I told you so." Buuuuuutttt, I did say that this one had upset written all over it. Watkins is known to have big starts to the season and then fizzle out. If he can stay healthy, it looks like there will be plenty of opportunity for him in the KC offense. Jones is clearly a top-5 wide receiver and Mostert is the bell cow in San Fran. After that though, there is going to need to be help! Luckily Hoosier Daddy sh*t the OBJ, and nobody accept for Josh Allen showed up this week. That should change in the future - there is just too much explosiveness on the roster. It does go to show though - this is what can happen in Fantasy Football - a lesser team can beat anybody on any given day (right Dixie Normus?)
Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins... WRONG!!
Matchup of the Week
Ankle Holster (0-1) vs Hernandez Hitmen (1-0)
QB: Newton ends up on top with a very uncharacteristic game from Brady. The last time Brady threw two interceptions in one game was in 2018. Newton flipped the script on this matchup with his mobility. He was able to rush for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns - which would have placed him in RB1 territory. Newton is going to need to continue to run the ball, he was only able to manage 155 yards through the air.
RB: Barkley needs a new offense line - wha wha we wha. Carson looks to be legit - the only question is how long can he stay healthy and how often will he get the rock. Seattle has shown a propensity to just Wilson do his thing in the past, which does result in the Carson getting left out a little. On the flip side, Henry is going to touch the ball... A LOT! He needs to be more efficient, because 30+ touches for just over 100 yards (against a V. Millerless Denver defense) is not going to get the job done. Connor got hurt - but his job looks to be more of a timeshare the way Snell was running the ball!
WR: Mclaurin scored the most points, but the Washington offense as whole looked pretty ragged. The more surprising thing is the fact that both Green and Sanders were able to score 10 points. Sanders night was saved by a touchdown - and don't look for that to happen often. I would bet there won't be many more nights Michael Thomas is held to less than 5 points.
TE: Kittle won the matchup - just not by as much as one would expect. Kittle is in the argument for the top TE in the NFL. Gronk is fresh out of retirement and on a team filled with options, don't expect much different throughout the year. Gronk will sprinkle in a touchdown here and there - but Kittle will soon separate himself and join the elite tier.
FLEX: David Johnson looked good in week 1, what will he look like as the year progresses? He is known to deal with injuries - so time will only tell if his body can withstand an entire year's worth of hits. Brown had a good game; however, everyone will be looking forward to playing the Browns. It looks like they could be candidates for shootout games - that or the Ravens are just that good.
DEF/K: Things took a bad turn for the Cowboys defense right from the get-go. They lost their star LB Vander Esch to a collarbone injury. This is a huuuuge set back for Dallas, as the they love to get after the quarterback and it tends to leave their LB matched up against the opposing RB. Crosby had a great game, but it was matched by the Patriots defense.
In the end, the entire matchup may have come down to the fact that Ankle was nearly 40 points away from his optimal lineup - just poor management.
Prediction: Ankle Holster.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster.... WRONG!!
I know I am not the only one that can't wait for week 2 - be on the lookout for predictions this week! Also, word on the street is there are few teams looking to make some changes - get those trade offers flowing.
Mwah
Predictions: 5-2
Mysterty Guest: 4-3
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