Week 5 Predictions

The NFL season is a quarter of the way through and we have a pretty good idea of who are the contenders and who are the pretenders. The same can be said for most fantasy football leagues - the puzzle becomes more clear.... typically. However, last week with every 0-3 team winning - the puzzle became more jumbled rather than clear. There remains one unbeaten team and we are all looking up. However, last week showed us that any team is beatable on Any Given Sunday - amirite Pacino?

There are plenty of matchups this week that could make the playoff picture a little clearer.... or muddy the waters a bit more. In the history of the league only one team has ever made the playoffs with 7 losses - The Trashmen in 2017 and that was because of a massive cluster right below him. What this really means... you don't want to have 4 losses in 5 weeks. This is a big week for a few teams, especially as we also enter the first official bye week for NFL teams: Green Bay Packers, Detroit Lions. Let's take a look the matchups....

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-3) v Asymmetric TDs (4-0)

BBB finds itself in the MotW for the 2nd time in three weeks - this time they are facing the only undefeated team in the league. This one should be a good battle and could yield a belt winner (just as the last time BBB was in the MotW). Let's look at the position battles....

QB: LJackson v PMahomes

Take your pick. Both QB's face teams that should oppose zero threat to their respective offenses and both QB's should have their way this week. I do like Jackson slightly better, only because Las Vegas looks like a team that could rely more on the run and try and keep the ball out of Mahomes' hands better than Burrow and the boys. Coin flip

RB: MSanders/DSingletary v AKamara/TGurley

As it stands, Kamara is one of those players that looks like he is not even trying and yet somehow walks away from games with 30 points. He is currently the best player in fantasy football and should dominate a Chargers defense that looks lost without Bosa. Some experts would say that the return of MThomas hurts his value - but I believe it will only make things harder on the defense and Kamara will face less in the box each time he touches the ball. Don't sleep on Sanders and Singletary; however both running backs face teams that are coming off their bye week and should have had plenty of time to prepare. Advantage Kamara/Gurley

WR: RWoods/KAllen v CKupp/JLandry

The Woods v Kupp storyline is very interesting - especially considering, if one receiver gets going the other could find themselves struggling to find targets. However, Allen v Landry is far more compelling in terms of production. Allen is an elite receiver that has dealt with injuries - but when healthy, he is a bonafide top dawg!! Landry is a strong receiver, but he also facing the number one defense in the NFL - that is not bias either, check the numbers. It could be very difficult for Landry to find openings - slight advantage Woods/Allen

TE: EEngram v JCook

Engram might be one of the biggest disappointments in fantasy football this season. He came in with so much promise - but he has dealt with drops, poor offense line, and losing valuable players for defenses to focus on. If he is able to get it going, Engram is in the argument for a top 5 TE - but he has to find a way to get more targets and be far more efficient. Cook is an afterthought in the New Orleans offense. The Saints have no problem giving Kamara or Murray the ball at the goal line and even then if they were to try and throw a fade - it would more than likely go to Thomas rather than Cook. Slight Advantage Engram

FLEX: RJones III v JEdelman

This matchup truly comes down to whether or not Newton plays for the Patriots. Frankly, I do not trust Hoyer or Stidham to get the ball to Edelman. Jones may be apart of a committee, but I would rather have a piece cake (and not the whole thing) than no slice at all. Advantage Jones III

DEF/K: Seahawks/Blankenship v Colts/Gonzalez

There are multiple ways to play fantasy football. Some believe that playing a defense against one your own players is not a wise choice - others say that playing the best defensive option is always the right choice - regardless of who they are facing. Colts defense and Landry at WR - one could do really well and hurt the other, it would seem very unlikely that both would score well. It could happen, but I would not count on it. Rather, I would take my chance with Seattles defense against a Minny offense that has look good 1 out of 4 weeks. Plus, Blankenship will be channeling his inner MXC days and kick at least 47 field goals..... Seahawks/Blankenship

Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups wins

Mystery Guest: Bluffton Backup Backups wins and takes down the belt!

Penis Flytrap (3-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-2)

This matchup had an argument to be the MotW - both teams are in the same division and a win for either side would be huge to when it comes to separation. PFT is rocking a risky stack with DJones and DFreeman in the lineup at the same time - NYGiants offense has been abysmal, but they are playing a team that just allowed 49 points last week. A lot is going to be riding on the shoulders of the pass-catchers for PFT; just as a lot will be riding on the shoulders of the running backs for ARBL. This matchup is essentially going to come down to WRs v RBs - and frankly, it could be a coin toss.

Prediction: Penis Flytrap wins
Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams wins

3rd and 41* (2-2) v Dixie Normous (1-3)

Dixie Normous was the league punching bag in the first three weeks - but after getting a win last week, they now need to find a way to replace Aaron Rodgers. Not only that, they face a team that had the belt won if he had played his optimal lineup. This week Mixon is in the starting lineup for 3rd and 41, which also means Mixon will either get hurt or end up with 4.5 points instead of 45 points. It doesn't matter though, Josh Allen is Thanos on steroids - the man does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Josh Allen for president and 3rd and 41 for the belt!

Prediction: 3rd and 41 wins and takes down the belt!

Mystery Guest: 3rd and 41 wins

iTouchdown There (1-3) v The J-Bones** (3-1)

This is a huge week for iTouchdown - it can not go understated how important it is to not fall to 1-4. Unluckily, iTouch has fallen to 1-3 on the season even though they have scored the 4th most points in the league. At least this week they face The J-Bones, who is missing Aaron Jones - only the second best running back in fantasy football right now. Let's just say, Duke Johnson isn't exactly gold as a replacement. iTouchdown is the only team with a losing a record that has scored more points for than points against and this week they will look to climb out of the hole...

Prediction: iTouchdown There wins 

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins

Hernandez Hit Men (2-2) v PEN15 Wrinkle (2-2)

We have matchup that appears quite one-sided, however there is a few quirks that need to be considered. HHM is still waiting see which QB he will need to place in the starting lineup - Newton or Jimmy G. Either way, the QB situation should be resolved and HHM has a strong chance to win this week. One thing that also should be noted - Henry and Conner are both coming off of their bye week, plenty of rest and time to prepare. Should be a good week for the HHM running backs - look for them to try and make a run at the belt this week.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins

2 Gurleys 1 Cupp (2-2) v Ankle Holster* (1-3)

2G1C welcomes back Bell and Thomas to the lineup and I am not holding my breath. Ankle Holster is looking to make their mark after winning belt and attempting to solidify a run of wins. The start of the week (TNF) is going to be a big tell of what is going to happen in this matchup. If Gronk can turn back the clock and Brady can find him in the endzone once or twice - this could totally change the entire matchup. If not, then it is going to ride on the shoulders of Thomas and Bell in their return to the lineup. 2G1C has a good chance grabbing this win, but it is going to come down to whether or not Bell and Thomas can make an impact on their return to the offense.

Prediction: 2 Gurleys 1 Cupp wins

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins

Remember the Redskins (3-1) v Solo Driving Asians (1-3)

Right now this looks like it is going to be a genocide of all the Asians to ever walk the face of the earth. However, SDA still has players he needs to fill in to replace a few bye-week players. Will it help? Nope, not in the slightest. You will have Rudolph and Cowboys defense - should help, but there is only so much you can do with the Dallas defense (pushing Atlanta to see which defense is worse). On the flip side, #LETRUSSCOOK is alive and strong and it is going to take that and then some to grab the win this week. If I were forced to bet, I would take Wilson/Metcalf stack over nearly any combo the Asians have...

Prediction: Remember the Redskins wins

Mystery Guest: Remember the Redskins wins

Mwah

I wish you all good luck, except for Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams - may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash, eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!