Week 2 Predictions

Well, now that week 1 is in the books it is time to overreact - and boy oh boy did someone overreact (it was me). When you have so much promise and hope for your team and they just let you down. It like having a little "business" time (socks on of course) and then she finishes and now you are humping a dead fish. You either gotta close your eyes and starting working through your rolodex or it ain't working. In some rare cases, those you like f*cking fish, you can ride your way through it. In other cases, you really gotta switch it up. Cochness Monsters and Ankle Holster did just that....

TCM Receives: Dak Prescott/Christian McCaffrey

Holster Receives: Justin Herbert/Aaron Jones

Now, there are two ways to look at this. Prescott is hurt and will be out for 6-8 week (although he may not be going on IR) and Holster really needed an answer at QB. Now it was obviously going to cost him, but to help with that cost Aaron Jones comes along for the ride and shows up with cheese curds. Holster gets what he wants (an answer to his QB issue) and still can replace CMC. Trade Winner: Ankle Holster

The other way to look at it... TCM had no way of ever drafting CMC and if he can remain healthy and Baker can get his head out of his ass - CMC should finish as a top 5 RB. That is a very needed asset in this league, but it going to cost TCM a highly valued QB. To soothe that cost, if TCM can ride out the fish that is the injured hand of Prescott - he could return and possibly help down the stretch. Trade Winner: TCM

Oh but wait... it is not over for The Cochness Monsters. The very next day they made a trade for QB Kirk Cousins with Not Big Red. 

TCM Receives: Kirk Cousins

NBR Receives: Damien Harris/Tyler Boyd

In looking at solely this trade - Not Big Red probably wins this trade. Boyd is apart of the air-attack in Cincinnati and Damien Harris is apart of the two-headed backfield in New England. Both could have very good years and both could help out the cause for NBR. This trade was most definitely made out of necessity for TCM - he was going to have to drop a player to pick up a kicker based upon his waiver wire pickups - so he needed to make a trade 2 for 1 and he needed a QB.

In total, the trades look something like this....

TCM Trades: Justin Herbert/Aaron Jones/Damien Harris/Tyler Boyd

TCM Receives: Kirk Cousins/Dak Prescott/Christian McCaffrey

Holster Trades: Dak Prescott/Christin McCaffrey

Holster Receives: Justin Herbert/Aaron Jones

NBR Trades: Kirk Cousins

NBR Receives: Damien Harris/Tyler Boyd 

Either way you look it, these teams flipped her over and switched it up - something some other teams might need to look into.

Enough of this bullsh*t let's get to the predictions...

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-0) v Side Set TD's (1-0)

Ironically, I feel like this happens more often than not, this is the only matchup with two teams undefeated. This is quite the matchup... The Indianapolis Colts v Side Set TD's. This week the Colts have the Jacksonville Jaguars and this should be another friendly matchup. However, the Colts didn't exactly light up the Texans. The Jags did give up 28 points to former Colts QB Wentz and former Trail of Tears. This bodes well BBB, but I don't think it will be enough to stop Side Set as he typically suffers from premature ejaculation. Side Set is going to need another big performance from the pass-catchers and Waller and Adams have the perfect matchup (Arizona). Zona defense just gave up 5 passing touchdowns to Mahomes and you think that if it is anything similar to week 1... Waller and Adams are in for big game.

Prediction: Side Set TD's

Mystery Guest: Side Set TD's

The Cochness Monsters (0-1) v OBJs in the Stands (1-0)

One of these teams looks very different from their starting lineup in Week 1. They have traded for Run CMC and he will need to showcase that he was worth it. They are now starting a new QB (gone with the trade), new RB (part of the trade), new WR (bench), new FLEX (bench), new DEF (waiver wire). On the flip side, BJs is rocking pretty much the same exact lineup. As the old saying goes, "If she's still moanin', you better keep bonin'" To be fair, this matchup truly comes down to whether or not the stars come out to play and TCM picked the right receivers this week. Here is hoping that the early week trade brings the mojo to the Monsters....

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands

Gruden's Email Editor (0-1) v The J-Bones (1-0)

Sometimes when it comes to a write about a matchup it is best to just keep it quick and fast, like most nights - or so I have been told... by a friend... from another state. But seriously, I could write about Samuel is poised for a big stretch of games with Mitchell going down and him pretty much being the best option at any position on offense for San Fran. Or the fact that Burrow is not facing a star-studded defense from Pittsburgh. Or even the fact that the Packers defense face a Chicago offense they are all too familiar with and could end up a top 5 defense this week. Or I could just say, The J-Bones have a really good team and there is not need to say any of that?

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Email Editor

Watson's Happy Ending (1-0) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (0-1)

WHE got their main course in Week 1 with the fresh meat (NBR), but now they are about to get ready for their dessert. If one thing was made clear in Miami, their offense is revolving around Hill. On top of that offense revolving around Hill, Gibson has sneakily become a top-10 RB without the competition of that one guy who got shot jacking off in his car (swore I read it somewhere). The big X-Factor for WHE is M. Thomas and his ability to continually show-up week-in and week-out. Mr. Zoot Palace snagged a stud in Swift, but is he going to get any help from anyone not named Diggs? Rodgers looks helpless with his receivers, Etienne looks to be apart of a committee on a terrible team, and Mooney has Fields throwing him the ball. It is going to take a huge week for Dreamer to win this, one I am not betting on...

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending

ETN out your Grandma (1-0) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (0-1)

Let's put it this way, ETN has a great team - and they should they got the number 1 overall pick. But this week Stafford/Kupp play Atlanta and frankly I would not want to play the defending Super Bowl champions after they have had 10 days to stew on the embarrassing beatdown Buffalo handed them. Give me Stafford/Kupp for the rebound game against Atlanta...

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma

Not Big Red (0-1) v Hoosier Daddy?* (1-0)

Two thoughts here....

A) NBR has now faced the manager with historically the most wins in the league in week 1 and now will face the manager with historically the most points scored in the league in week 2 - not to mention, the current belt holder.

B) Welcome to the f*ckin' show!

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Ankle Holster (0-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (0-1)

This matchups features two 0-1 teams, but to be fair that is very misleading. Wrinkle dealt with a lot of injuries in Week 1 and faced the eventual belt winner. Wrinkle actually would have beaten 8 other teams in the league, will that happen again? Not with all those Q's. For Holster, this a new team with Herbert at QB and A. Jones a running back. The depth improves for an all-around lineup for Holster.  A lineup that I am in favor of when it comes to matchups. Give me the new and improved Holster squad this week...

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you OBJs in the Stands, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

With Love

Commish