Week 3 Predictions

There are certain dark places that your mind can go when your fantasy team is terrible. Full transparency, I am in the darkest of places. Dante Alighieri wrote a novel about the dark place my mind is in. The craziest part about it, it is only Week 2 - which means I have many more weeks of this sh*t. At some point, it has to turn around doesn't it... DOESN'T IT?!?!?!?

I know plenty of people that have had failures in the beginning, but yet strive to success in the end...

A) Mark Cuban once started a bar (Motley's Pub) when he, himself, was underage. They were busted for underage drinking and allowing a 16-year old to win a wet t-shirt contest. Yet, we now know him as a billionaire who owns his own NBA team.

B) At one point Elon Musk and his company "PayPal" was once voted the worst business of the year. Now, he happens to be the richest man in the world. Not a bad turn around for a guy that named his kid X Æ A-XII.

C) Peter La Fleur, a small-time gym owner with a gambling problem, bets on his rag-tag team to win a child's game. At first they take a morale destroying loss to a beaver tranquilized girl scout. Not to fear, they are able to come back - bet on themself - and win a dodgeball tournament while blindfolded.

D) The Cochness Monsters start off their season 0-2, getting dick slapped by teams. Only to finish the regular season in the playoffs and hoisting the belt twice. They make serious run at the championship and the rest is history.

Now let's get to the predictions...

Matchup of the Week

Watson's Happy Ending* (2-0) v Hoosier Daddy?* (1-1)

This is what MotW's are made out of! These teams are 2 of the top 3 scoring teams through the first two weeks. They are also both belt holders throughout the year. On top of that, they are both projected to score the highest total for the week. At this point Happy Ending has been scoring points without any real help from his RB's - but he also doesn't have a player ranked outside the top 30 in PRK in his starting lineup. This is legitimately a close matchup, but the depth in lineup for Watson's Happy Ending gives him the slight edge.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

The Cochness Monsters (0-2) v ETN out your Grandma (1-1)

There is two intriguing story lines with this matchup - the Washington QB (ETN) throwing to the Washington WR (Samuel). Washington plays Philly - a team that gave up yards in bunches to the Detroit Lions, but then held the Minnesota Vikings and Justin Jefferson in check. It will be interesting to see if Philly focuses in on McLaurin, thus leaving Samuel to reap the benefits. If Samuel can match or come close with Wentz, the odds shift dramatically in TCM's favor. The other intriguing storyline is the year long battle between Smith and Brown for Philly. Obviously, each team has their choice and there may or may not have been a side bet on the yearly total... my prediction will tell you where I stand.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: The Cochness Monsters

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-1) v The J-Bones (1-1)

It is funny how slowly more and more Colts player begin to work their way out of BBB's starting lineup. To be fair, we have all seen how the Colts are playing - it ain't getting any better this week. The J-Bones have a loaded starting lineup and it doesn't help that Indianapolis is playing Kansas City this week. BBB does not have a player ranked inside the top 20 in PRK - that alone should tell you how this is going to go.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Aaron Rodger's Blows Llams (1-1) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (0-2)

Llams is one of those teams that is full of names that don't necessarily pop out at you - with the exception of Kupp. Yet, in the starting lineup they don't have a player outside the top 25 in PRK. They have performed very well in the first two weeks and Dreamer is in for a world of hurt this week. Dreamer doesn't have a bad receiver either Diggs, but after that there is very little depth. That is where LLams can really blow this matchup out of the water.

Prediction: Aaron Rodger's Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodger's Blows Llams

OBJs in the Stands (2-0) v Gruden Email Editor (1-1)

OBJ is one of the three remaining unbeaten squads in the league. This week they will need to closely watch the injury report as they currently have four (4) normal starters that are questionable to play. If they all play, there is a good chance that OBJ picks up another win. On the flip side, Emails needs some big outings from the pass-catchers this week. Unfortunately, their top point scorer happens to be playing the hottest team in the NFL (Waddle v Buffalo). Tough matchup, look for OBJ to take this one and throw name in the hat for top team in the league.

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands

PEN15 Wrinkle (0-2) v Side Set TD's (2-0)

PEN15 has a team that looks good on paper (Mahomes/Harris/Andrews/Bills DEF/Butker), lots of tier one's. However, they just can't seem to get a win. Typically, when that happens one of two things need to happen - you need to make a trade or you need a slump buster. PEN15 seldom makes trades, sooooooooooo you know what that means - LINE UP THE HEFFERS DANNY, HE'S GONNA EXPLODE! On the flip side, TD's is quietly moving along with a pretty good line-up of pass catchers. How long can he survive with Elliot and Dillion as their primary RB's? At least one more week.

Prediction: Side Set TD's

Mystery Guest: Side Set TD's

Ankle Holster (1-1) v Not Big Red (1-1)

At the time of this writing, these two teams are predicted by ESPN to end in an absolute tie. However, there is a high chance that Herbert may not play and if he does - he is probably not 100%. Does that matter? Nope. NBR is one Hurts kneel down away from being 0-2 and questioning his every life choice. Look around big guy, this is the big leagues - your team looks as dead as Tom Brady's face.

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

As always, good luck to everyone - except for you ETN out your Grandma, may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!