Week 2 Results

Wouldn't it be crazy it fantasy football was like college sports - moreover college football coaching. Let's just imagine it was, let's say that you happen to be one of the teams that is starting off the season 0-2. Stellar performances. Not to fear, this is not just like college football - you are now going to be bought out for $15 million. FIFF*CKINGTEEN MILLION. Let put that in comparison to other things in life...

A) You are taking a dump, like a nice lactose intolerant just had a Reese's Take 5 Blizzard (best thing on the menu). But you stood up before it was done - not to fear in this world you get bought out. Free Reese's Take 5 blizzards for the rest of your life!

B) The first test for your required college course is in 15 minutes - however, the night before you hit the sauce a little too hard and you happen to oversleep. You rush around, throw last night's shirt - with puke still attached - get the test on time, only to find out you know nothing. You inevitably fail miserably... not to fear - you graduate Suma Cum Laude and ace the course - without ever going to a single class again.

C) Bobby Bonilla Day.... if you don't know, now you know.

Some fantasy football owners would benefit greatly from a world like this, myself included. Let's see who needs everything flipped upside down and who is actually living the good life...

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups (1-1) v Side Set TD's (2-0)

There are going to be plenty of weeks like this for BBB - especially if the Colts look as bad as they did this week. I mean, I know they haven't in Jacksonville in a decade - but you don't have to lose like that. The sad part is, Side Set had a terrible week and is still going to end up 2-0. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as you beat the guy you are playing against. To say the MotW was a let down this would be an understatement - but a win is a win.

Prediction: Side Set TD's... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Side Set TD's.... RIGHT!!

The Cochness Monsters (0-2) v OBJs in the Stands (2-0)

This just in... the Buffalo Bills are really good at football. Josh Allen and Company are looking to take souls this year - not just victories. Tennessee defense looked like a bunch of ankle biting third graders trying to keep up with Diggs and his tea-bagging QB. And just because I know everyone is wondering, yes - TCM wins this matchup if they don't make the trade.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... RIGHT!!

Gruden's Email Editor (1-1) v The J-Bones (1-1)

Did The J-Bones blow their wad in week 1? Was it managing mistakes - taking of London/Meyers? What happened? Jaylen Waddle happened. In the Baltimore/Miami game there were three 40 point scorers (Waddle/Hill/Jackson), Tua had 38, Andrews had 25. What I am saying is.... you wanted a player in that game. GEE had Waddle and they take down a big win against the number 1 ranked D.D.A team in the league. The J-Bones are falling back down to earth, they need to address the pass catchers on the team... at least the starting lineup.

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Gruden's Email Editor... RIGHT!!

Watson's Happy Ending* (2-0) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (0-1)

Remember what I said about the Miami/Baltimore game? Yeah, Happy had two players in that game. Dreamer's squad is already pretty weak in the first place - not a lot of depth in the starting lineup... but Happy didn't have to do him like that. I mean two players beat them on their own. Happy is tired of getting slept on in the ranking and is quickly making sure people in the league know - they are for real. Dreamer needs to make a move or go back to the Zoot Palace and since the manager is known for making little to no moves.... this could be a long year for them.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!

ETN out your Grandma (1-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (1-1)

Well, well looks the tuna stank this week from the 75-year old. What else is there to say other than the fact that Carson Wentz was one of your top performers - trust me, as a Colts fan, I know how bad that reality can be. It didn't help that you went against Chubb and Kupp. Kupp is the undisputed king of the receivers and is continuing right where he left off. Chubb is a machine that just churns out yardage and touchdowns. This may be a PPR league, but it doesn't matter to Chubb - that man is consistent and is going to have more big weeks like this.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!!

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma.... WRONG!!!

Not Big Red (1-1) v Hoosier Daddy?* (1-1)

I am going to be honest, I have sat here thinking how to start the write-up for this matchup and I am at a complete loss for words. To think that the belt holder went down and it all happened in a game where Jalen Hurts scores 33 fantasy points. NBR just happened to have Miles Sanders, who was able to score just over 2 points in the final garbage time drive and edge out Hoosier Daddy. What a way to get your first win of the league! But hey, who am I to talk - I would have only beat two teams this week (sadly, one of those teams will get credit for a win).

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (1-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (0-2)

There is no write-up for this matchup, just simply a letter....

Dear Ankle Holster,

You are welcome for the win this week. F*ck You!

With Love,

The Cochness Monsters

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Season Predictions: 9-5

Mystery Guest: 9-5

With Love

Commish

AJB = 37.4

D. Smith = 15

C. Akers = 8.2

J. Williams = 29.3