Week 9 Results

You ever wondering what is happening in your body? Like in that Bill Murray movie, "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - when they go through this body and they you can see everything working. Sometimes, I wonder what is really happening in my body. Like are all my organs just throwing constant ragers with the amount of caffeine I consume. If I were to drink a Bang and then pop a Benedryl - would they just battle it out?? Would everything else inside me just watch the cage match... you know that Bang is winning and if not, I am just gonna drink more and more until they outmatch that Benny. 

I think that would be a funny game - everyone pops a Benedryl. Then every 20 minutes you pop another Benedryl until you have one person still awake. You can do whatever it takes to stay awake - caffeine, shower, masturbation, mastication, sports, etc. I am actually shocked this is not a TikTok trend yet - the amount of dumb sh*t that kids these days are doing. My idea sounds absolutely ridiculous, but we are talking about a generation that tried to eat Tide Pods and swipe each others feet out from under them. I feel like this is right down their alley.

Bunch of absolute fools.

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups (4-5) v OBJs in the Stands** (5-4)

I don't want to say it was expected - but there is no other way around it. BBB had Goedert and Tua on the bench, both scored 24 points. OBJs didn't even have a good week - to be fair most scores were pretty low (unless you had Mixon). However, BBB takes the loss and drops to the bottom half of the league. OBJs now finds themselves firmly in the running for the top of the league. When OBJ has their big week, they can beat anyone - but that is few and far between. 

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy?* (6-3) v The Cochness Monsters (3-6)

Hoosier Daddy is another team that had a so-so week, but they played a trash team and were still able to get the win. TCM needed to win this matchup; they did not and now their back is against the wall. They will be relying heavily on CMC and Sutton when they return from the bye. It is going to take a massive run in the latter part of the season. Hoosier Daddy elevated themselves to the top of the league and will contending for the regular season championship position.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The Cochness Monsters... WRONG!!

Side Set TDs (6-3) v The J-Bones (4-5)

What a comeback win for Titties!! Drake had a big game on MNF and he single-handedly closed the gap and took the lead. In a mediocre week for all teams (outside of NBR), it is huge to lock up and win and stay on the top half of .500. Adams had a big week even though the Raiders are still terrible and Drake finished the job. On the flip side, The J-Bones are now sitting on the bottom half of the league and the pre-season favorite is now struggling to make the playoffs. They look forward to having both stallions in the backfield for the rest of the season and this team will make a late season push for the playoffs.

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Watson's Happy Ending* (7-2) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (3-6)

Happy Ending has a solid team and they even can win the weeks when they are struggling. Henry is becoming the running back that owner's were hoping he would be all season. It helps that Tennessee throws the ball less than 8 times a game. It helps that ARBL had Tennessee's QB and Willis happen to score negative 3 points. As it stands in the league, we have teams that winning and teams that are losing - ARBL is a team that is losing. They do welcome back Chubb and Prescott from the bye and will look to make a late season push for the playoffs.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (2-7) v ETN out your Grandma (5-4)

It is unfortunate when Wrinkle finally has a week when they would finish in the top half of the league scoring - yet they are going against Fields. Mahomes throws for 446 yards, rushes for 63 yards and is responsible for 2 touchdowns - yet is outscored by Fields. ETN might have found themselves the surprise of the year and Fields could be showing up at the right time. ETN needs someone to step-up for the lack of output Taylor is giving - Fields might just be that answer.

Prediction: ETN out your Grandma... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma... RIGHT!! 

Ankle Holster (2-7) v Gruden Email Editor (6-3)

Keeping this simple and sweet. Ankle Holster is the worst team in the league. The only real reason to watch this team is to see if Akers can score more points than a running back that has been injured since week 4. On the flip side, Email finds themselves in the top half of the league. They will be competing for a better seed in the playoffs and Waddle and Walker will be a big piece of that run.

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Ayahuasca Dreamer (5-4) v Not Big Red* (5-4)

Holy Joe Mixon. What a week... 5 total touchdowns and 211 rushing/receiving yards. He ended up being less than 2 points away from the all-time leading scorer for an individual week. NBR will be getting the belt this week and this is their first ever time with it - welcome to the party! Dreamer on the other hand, seems to just do the opposite of whatever I pick. Am I the jinx? Do I use this to my advantage??

Prediction: Ayahuasca Dreamer... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red... RIGHT!!

Season Predictions: 34-29

Mystery Guest: 27-36

With Love

Commish

AJ: 150.8 points

D. Smith: 96.2 points

J. Williams: 42 points

C. Akers: 23.2 points