This is going to be a loaded post... final week results/post-season bracket predictions. Normally, this would be the beginning of a rant about how the Gluten Douches got screwed and clearly deserve to be in the playoffs.

But I won't.

I could rattle off stats about how the RB room for Gluten is arguably the top RB department in the fantasy league. Anybody who would disagree can take it up with Mr. Ekeler/Mr. Robinson/Mr. Williams and then they can run it up to the commissioner of the league.... wait, he just got back from lunch and his message is.... F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I could rattle off stats about how Evan Engram has quietly become a top tier TE - finishing as a top 3 TE. Anybody who would disagree can look at the league leaders and then can F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I could rattle off about how my receiving core is middle of the pack in terms of season averages - which is pretty mother truckin' good for the weak part of the lineup. Yeah, you heard me - Drake London and Davante Adams are the weak part of the lineup. Can't forget.... F*CK. OFF.

But I won't.

I also won't even mention the fact that the New York Jets defense never was rostered on another team - and they were the 4th ranked defense in the league. Doesn't sound that impressive? Well, you try being the 4th ranked defense in a division when you play the Dolphins and Bills twice and a schedule that included Kansas City/Philly/Dallas. These boiz can ball. F*CK. OFF.

I could even talk about how the Gluten Douches finished 6 in Points Scored (more than 3 playoff teams) - how many teams make the playoffs? Oh yes... F*CK. OFf.

But I won't. 

Instead, I will take this time to congratulate all the teams that did make it and wish them all good luck in chasing the victory - purely a moral victory.... the money was long gone the moment I put it all black at the roulette table one night in Vegas.

Actually, the payouts go as follows....

Champion - Ron Jeremy Trophy/Belt/$160 cash

Runner-up - $100 cash

1st seed after regular season - $20 cash (Njigbas)

Good luck you dirty ole dicks.

MotW

Ankle Holster (6-8) v The J-Bones (6-8)

This was a massive win for Ankle Holster... unfortunately, a few other matchups needed to fall a specific way - which they did not and AH will fall short. The J-Bones will also miss the playoffs - but if there was a team that had any type of excuses... it would be these guys. Just think how different this team would look if Mike Williams and Nick Chubb were not out for the season. This team drastically changes - unfortunately they did get hurt and The J-Bones now become apart of the losers bracket.

Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

Gluten Douches (4-10) v Hoosier Daddy (5-9)

Well... it didn't mean much, but it is something to carry on into next season. Hoosier Daddy was the first team to lose to Gluten and they will be the last team to lose to Gluten. I wish I could say it was a good year for both squads - but I can't even say it to one squad. Both these managers will look to recover and come back smarter than ever.

Prediction: Gluten Douches... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Gluten Douches... RIGHT!!

East West TD's (9-5) v I Hate Chad G (6-8)

Talk about a really down week for the top teams to finish up the regular season, only one team with the better record entering the week walked out unscathed. This win ended up not being enough for Team Hatred - but they did stop Titties from getting the top seed - if that is any consolation. Moving forward, the Titties need to hope that this is a one time fluke and that it won't carry on into the finals.

Prediction: East West TDs... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: East West TDs... WRONG!!

I Hate Chad G too (7-7) v Njigbas in Paris (9-5)

There is not much to say here - Hate Too gets a big win and sneaks into the playoffs. For their reward... they are playing against Njigbas... again. The question now becomes - can they beat them two weeks in a row? Njigbas is now free-rolling into the playoffs as they locked up the top seed - thanks to all other pursuers losing. 

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

I Miss Tom Brady (8-6) v No Time for Love (8-6)

A much bigger win for TB12 than a loss for No Time for Love... this allowed for them to sit comfortably in the playoff picture. On top of that, they go into the playoffs carrying the belt. Both of these teams are looking to make some noise in the playoffs - but it truly will depend on the matchups.

Prediction: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Ertz when Eifert (9-5) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-7)

And there it is.... I am always surprised every year about some teams and them making the playoffs. Ertz is one of those teams - but it only takes having a few studs and you are golden. Lamar and Elliott had a big week and Elliott looks to be the workhorse going forward - which only makes this team that much more dangerous. Ertz might become a dark horse for the team to beat in the playoffs.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5) v Handy Rudgins (6-8)

Handy did their job... got the win, unfortunately they will be one win short of making the playoffs. Much like one other team, they find themselves in the spot of scoring in the top 8 teams - but not having the record to show for it. On the flip side, Wrinkle loses and now drops all the way down to the 4th seed - which doesn't sound that bad... but they are now on the top seed's side of the bracket. This might be the lost that sets them up for eventual failure.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 49-49

Mystery Guest: 50-48

GD's top drafted RB: B. Robinson (189 pts)

AH's top drafted RB: B. Hall (188 pts)

Alright, now to the predictions.... it is time for the bracket challenge. The mystery guest and I will prediction the bracket for the playoffs - each spot correct is one point... it is make of break time.

The Fantasy Guru's Selections

Round One

I am not gonna lie - the hardest game to pick was probably the 1v8 game. Hatred Too has beaten the Njigbas like it was the 1800's.... twice. But I gotta trust the process and believe in the top seed. Then after that PEN15 just has good matchups for the week and let's not lie, it would be ironic if they won after the bitching from the draft. TB12 has a serious issue in their lineup at RB's - but their pass catchers have good matchups this week. Then the final matchup - Titties has not looked as dominant as they once were and the total reliance on a couple players comes into play. They could win every matchup by 25 points or they could lose the first one by 40 points.

Round Two

PEN15 is my darkhorse for these playoffs and I will be riding that dick to the finals. You heard it hear first, The Guru is a PEN15 Rider. On the bottom side of the bracket - ARBL has some nice, comfy matchups this week. They need to make it to this week and then they have good matchups and TB12 has rough matchups - but can both teams pull off the upsets to get here?

Championship

You are either riding the PEN15 of your dying by the PEN15. To be honest, I am not sure which one is worse - I am not sure I would want to live the rest of my days knowing I am a PEN15 rider... I may want to have it all just end right there... ESPN on the tv.

Mystery Guest's Selections

His exact text....

"Completed. F*ck research."

With Love

Commish

Final Regular Season Predictions

I can tell you, this has been a fantastic year of fantasy football - this is coming from the guy with the worst team in the league. You really hate to see it all come to an end, but like all good things - they die.

A few teams are little more concerned with this week than others. For some it means nothing, Gluten Douches... actually they are the only ones still technically eliminated from playoff contention. Actually, you know what f*ck this fantasy football season. It hasn't been good at all - this b*tch should just die. How the hell is the Gluten Douches the worst team in the league... I drafted three running backs all in the top 13 RBs in the league... some teams don't even have one RB in the top 13 of the league. My QB (Lawrence) was averaging 27 points a games in the last 3 weeks and ranked in the top 13. My WR's are my worst part of my starting lineup and I have two guys that average double digits - one of them is named Davante Adams. My TE is the number 5 TE in all of fantasy football - yet somehow, Gluten Douches is the only team eliminated?!?!?!?!?! 

Felt good to get that off my chest....

Now let's look at the matchups - which will include what needs to happen for teams to make the playoff and/or seeding

Matchup of the Week

Ankle Holster (5-8) v The J-Bones (6-7)

There is a scenario with both these teams in the playoffs - highly unlikely - essentially a win or go home.

Ankle Holster: Must Win... also need I Hate Chad G to lose and stay above them in points, as well as Handy Rudgins losing, or winning but Ankle Holster outscores them by 40 points.

The J-Bones: A) Win and I Hate Chad G Too loses and they are win B) Lose and they need I Hate Chad G Too to lose and they stay ahead them in points as well as Handy Rudgins to lose

Prediction: Ankle Holster

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Gluten Douches (3-10) v Hoosier Daddy (5-8)

Gluten Douches: Out... eff fantasy football

Hoosier Daddy: Must Win... Need Ankle Holster to win and out score them by 70 points, need Randy Hudgins to lose, need I Hate Chad G Too to lose... could happen - wouldn't bet on it!

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: Gluten Douches

East West TD's (9-4) v I Hate Chad G (5-8)

East West TD's: In... With a win and a Njigbas loss they are the one seed, with a loss and a PEN15 Wrinkle win they are the three seed

I Hate Chad G: Must win... and need to score a sh*t ton of points while other teams don't score a lot of points.... essentially eliminated.

Prediction: East West TD's

Mystery Guest: East West TD's

I Hate Chad G Too (6-7) v Njigbas in Paris (9-4)

I Hate Chad G Too: There is a scenario where a win doesn't guarantee a playoff spot. Win and The J-Bones lose, IN. Win and The J-Bones win... IHCGT starts off with a 6 point headstart, it will be a points scored tie-breaker. Lose and Ankle Holster wins but scores 3 points less than you and Handy Rudgins loses and you should be in.

Njigbas in Paris: In... win and you have the one seed. Lose and you are most likely the two seed unless something crazy happens and PEN15 wins and outscores you by 70 points.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

I Miss Tom Brady (7-6) v No Time for Love (8-5)

I Miss TB12: Win and in... Lose and need The J-Bones and I Hate Chad G Too to both lose, if one loses you are you in the playoffs.

No Time for Love: In... Win and PEN15 loses, you are the 3 seed... if they win you are most likely 4 seed. Lose and ARBL wins, you are most likely the 5 or 6 seed. Either way, still in the playoffs.

Prediction: No Time for Love

Mystery Guest: No Time For Love

Ertz when Eifert (8-5) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-6)

Ertz: In... Win and Love Time and Wrinkle lose and will receive the 3 seed... Lose and ARBL wins, drop down to 6 seed. Will finish somewhere between 3rd and 6th.

ARBL: In... Technically, there is a scenario where they don't make it - but they would need to be outscored by JBones by 115+ points. With a win they could move to the 4th seed, with a loss they could drop as low as 7th.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert

PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5) v Handy Rudgins (5-8)

Wrinkle: In... win and East/West TD's loses gets 2nd seed. Lose and could drop as low as 5th if Love Time and Ertz when Eifert wins

Hudgins: Must Win... and needs Ankle Holster to win and stay within 40 points and I Hate Chad G Too to lose

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle

With Love

Commish

Eff it... good luck to everyone - I am out.... may the odds be ever in your favor!

Week 13 Result

None of the pleasantries today... just strictly down to business.

Matchup of the Week

I Hate Chad G (5-8) v Insert Team Name Here (6-7)

This is a huge win for Insert Team Name (now calling themselves, "I Hate Chad G Too." This win essentially keeps them in the playoff race - most of it came from the Monday Night Football RB's (Etienne and Mixon). Unfortunately, that all but wraps up the chances for I Hate Chad G. You really hate to see such a beloved manager go down like this - his rival knocking him out of the running. If I was a conspiracy theorist - I would say this was scripted!

Prediction: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

Gluten Douches (3-10) v East/West TD's (9-4)

Destiny is defined as "the events that will necessarily happen to a particular person in the future." It is Gluten's destiny to find a way to lose each matchup... like this one. Coming back and making a run to beat Titties - Lawrence and Engram were each having a terrific game. Then Lawrence gets hurt - and it all just stops. On top of that, the game went into overtime and Gluten surely would have won this matchup. On the flip side, the once powerful Titties needs to solve a few issues as they get ready for the playoffs. The biggest issue to solve - QB.

Prediction: Gluten Douches... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: East West TDs... RIGHT!!

Handy Rudgins (5-8) v Hoosier Daddy (5-8)

If there was a way to convolute the playoff race - we had the perfect combination this week. Instead of clearing things up for who get eliminated and who is still the race... Hoosier Daddy is still technically in it - although highly unlikely. This win, which was a big one, does show that there is firepower on their side. On the flip side, Purdy and Chase combine for 60+ points and Handy Rudgins still can't get the job done... no bueno.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!! 

Njigbas in Paris (9-4) v I Miss TB12 (7-6)

Talk about really convoluting things... iy yi yi. TB12 scores a huge win this week and also puts the 1 seed in jeopardy for Njigbas. Apparently, in a race old man Tom could still get it done against some Njigbas. On top of that, TB12 scored 133 points and that is including a modest 13 points from Patrick Mahomes. On the flip side, Nobody had a good week for Njigbas and the Browns scored negative points. That doesn't exactly spell top dawg.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Time for Love (8-5) v Ertz when Eifert (8-5)

If you had to label the biggest surprise of the season - it would undoubtedly be Ertz when Eifert. If you look at that team - outside of Tyreek Hill - there is nobody that stands out. Yet, somehow - some way this team is 8-5... to put it in perspective. The first team eliminated was Gluten Douches... Ertz has scored less than 20 points more than that team. There are some teams that just find ways to win matchups... Tyreek Hill is a big reason why this team wins matchups. On the flip side, Time for Love will be fine - they will have Josh Allen for the playoffs - this loss just hurt their chances at the top seed.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Time for Love... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-6) v Ankle Holster (5-8)

The most ironic thing of all this... I picked ARBL because I thought that Ankle Holster was going to be the Mystery Guest's pick. Then the Mystery Guest threw a curve ball in there and picked ARBL.... then Ankle Holster threw a curve ball in there - and WON!! This keeps them still alive in the playoff race... updates will be included in the final season post - which will include a breakdown what needs to happen for each team.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

The J-Bones (6-7) v PEN15 Wrinkle (8-5)

I am taking a new game plan for next season... I am going to go to the draft party (because I ain't no b*tch), but I am going to let the computer auto-draft my team. I will then proceed to moan about what sh*tty job the computer did drafting my team and then by the end of the season I should have a chance at the number one seed in the league.... sound familar?

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 46-45

Mystery Guest: 47-44

GD Top Drafted RB: J. Jacobs (174.1)

AH Top Drafted RB: B. Hall (161.4)

Week 13

 This is a big week for some teams, with only two weeks to go - wins are a must at this point. You would hate to face-off agains the only team eliminated from playoff contention and then lose, amirite I Miss Tom Brady?!?!? Let's look at each team and what they need to have happen  

Njigbas in Paris: IN.... keep winning and they will lock up the 1 seed.

East-West TD's: IN.... keep winning and they will lock up the 2 seed, if Njigbas loses they are in contention for the 1 seed.

Time for Love: IN... fighting for the 1 seed... Njigbas or Time for Love will most likely be the 3 seed, whichever team does not win the division.

PEN15 Wrinkle: Either a win or a combination of the 6/5 win teams lose and they are in. As it stands, I project 7 wins and you in - which PEN15 has.

ARBL: Same situation as PEN15... only this team didn't complain about their draft.

Ertz when Eifert: Same situation as PEN15 and ARBL... but they have the toughest ending stretch with Time for Love and ARBL left on their schedule.

Assuming those top 6 teams make the playoffs, that leaves 2 spots for the remaining for fighting teams - which is everyone else not named Gluten Douches....

I Miss Tom Brady: ????.... TB12 and J-Bones control their own destiny, get one win in the remaining two weeks and they are in, unfortunately TB12 plays Njigbas and Time for Love - not a positive outlook

The J-Bones: ????.... controls their own destiny, the only difference between J-Bones and TB12... The J-Bones end with Ankle Holster... much more comforting than Njigbas and Love Time

Handy Rudgins: ????.... realistically need 2 wins... this week looks promising, which means they will need a win in the last week against PEN15

Insert Team Name Here: Light is getting darker... probably needs 2 wins and they end the season with needing multiples wins, teams to lose, and ending with Njigbas in the last week - this is a huuuuge week with a matchup against I Hate Chad G

I Hate Chad G: Realistically need to win both matchups and need to score more points than those in this pack and need teams to lose... gonna be a stretch, but still technically alive

If I had to pick 2 teams to come out of this group I would bet on The J-Bones and Handy Rudgins - but honestly, who knows at this point.

Ankle Holster: Pretty much out... my brain hurts too much to figure out how they could get in... need to win both weeks for sure and need to score a bunch of points more than teams above

Hoosier Daddy: Pretty much out... somehow alive, but to be fair - last week Gluten Douches had the same percentage of life - they won the belt and were still eliminated... is this going to be the first playoffs ever without Hoosier Daddy in attendance?

Gluten Douches: Out... won the belt and got eliminated in the same week - highly doubt that has ever been done before

After this week, things should be a little clearer on who gets in and who doesn't - then it just comes down to playoff seeding.

Matchup of the Week

I Hate Chad G (5-7) v Insert Team Name Here (5-7)

"Battle of True Rivals"

I could talk about how these two have presented the story line of hatred towards each and that is why it is the matchup of the week. I could also present the story line that this may be one of the last opportunities for I Hate Chad G in the league. In all reality, it is the MotW because the loser goes home. I don't see a world with the loser of this matchup making the playoffs.

QB: Levis v Murray

Edge: Murray

Reasoning: Kyler Murray actually has a much tougher matchup (Pittsburgh) and this is not that large of an edge as it looks on paper. Pittsburgh has shut down opposing QBs all season long, but to be completely honest - I don't trust Will Levis. His best game happened to be his first game and it was solely because Hopkins turned back the clock and took it the house multiple times. Not happening any time soon, slight edge to KM1.

RB: Charbonnet/Dowdle v Mixon/Etienne

Edge: Mixon/Etienne

Reasoning: This is the biggest disadvantage for Team Hatred - not because Charbonnet and Dowdle are terrible, but because it should be Barkley and Edwards.... bye week. It is tough to have both your starting running backs out when you need to get a win. On the flip side, Mixon and Etienne are both in line for a good week as their respective teams face-off against each other and neither team really brings in that stellar of a defense. 

WR: Waddle/Thielen v Smith/Brown

Edge: Waddle/Thielen 

Reasoning: Waddle is the reasoning... Smith and Brown both come into this week a little banged-up. Waddle is facing off against a weak Washington defense - if you remember, Washington shipped away their best pass rushers at the trade deadline. This gives plenty of time for Tua to pick apart the secondary and you can bet that Waddle is in line for a big week.

TE: Pitts v Thomas

Edge: Thomas

Reasoning: Pitts should be the better option, but he is stuck of Atlanta and they have no idea how to use their playmakers effectively. Pitts should be one of the top TEs in the NFL - all the physical abilities - but he has no QB or offense that is capable of getting him the ball. Which then leaves Thomas, the former college QB, who should have a decent matchup against the Miami defense. Honestly, flip a coin on this one - but I would bet Thomas outscoring Pitts.

FLEX: Pittman v Mostert

Edge: Mostert

Reasoning: Don't get me wrong Pittman could have a great week... but do you really trust Minshew? If they create the same type of offense as last week, Pittman should see 10+ targets. However, I just don't know if I trust the Indianapolis offense to really get going. On the flip side, Mostert is on a high powered offense that moves the ball. He will have plenty of opportunities in the red zone and he should easily get 10+ points this week.

DEF/K: Eagles/Santos v Chargers/Sanders

Edge: Chargers/Sanders

Reasoning: Well, the Eagles play San Francisco and Santos is on a bye. As long as Chargers and Sanders don't score negative points - I think they win this matchup.

Prediction: Insert Team Name Here

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here

Gluten Douches (3-9) v East West TD's (8-4)

There is absolutely no reason to pick the Gluten Douches... but I am going to. If CMC has a pedestrian week (rarely happens), anything is possible. Lawrence just needs to keep throwing the ball and winning football games with offense and then the three headed monster of Bijan/Ekeler/Kyren need to all have big weeks. Each one of those players could score 20-25 points and after that you hope you could muster up 30+ points to reach a respectable score. On the flip side, Ridley will cancel out Lawrence and Puka will battle Kyren for touches. Neither team needs anything out of this week, but if East West wants to keep contending for the 1 seed - they need to keep winning.

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: East West TD's

Handy Rudgins (5-7) v Hoosier Daddy (4-8)

Will Handy Rudgins pay attention? They don't have a TE on the roster anywhere other than the one that is on bye week and they have a starting wide receiver in the lineup that is on bye week. My guess... they figure it out and make a change. In a week where a win is crucial, Handy needs his big-time players to step-up. On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy needs to win and score a ton of points - Taysom Hill is an interesting play. Kind of like a hole in the wall... it could turn-out really well.... but 90% of the time, it is going to end up being another dude on the other side.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins

Njigbas in Paris (9-3) v I Miss TB12 (6-6)

Yeahhhhhh, let's just say this... Njigbas starting lineup involves every player/position inside the top 10 at their respective position - outside of Jaylen Warren. I Miss TB12 has every position outside of the top 10, besides Mahomes (and their kicker). Get the picture? If not, think about this - it is like running a relay race and one team is full Njigbas and one team is full of Tom Brady's.... you know who is winning.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

Time for Love (8-4) v Ertz when Eifert (7-5)

You want to know what is a nice feeling? Looking at your roster and realizing you have Travis Kelce. Kelce is averaging 17 points a week and has one week where he has scored less than 10 points - consistency. On top of Kelce, Love Time also has Alvin Kamara - who is now ranked as RB number 7... even after his suspension. Kamara is averaging 20 points a week and that would actually make hi the RB number 3... if he played every game. On the flip side, it is a nice feeling looking at your roster and seeing Tyreek Hill and George Kittle. Kittle has scored 20+ points in three of his last four matchups and Hill is in the running for fantasy MVP this year. To be fair, I flipped a coin and it landed on....

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: Time for Love

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-5) v Ankle Holster (4-8)

It pretty much comes down to this... I am losing in the picks to Mystery Guest. I know the MG is going to pick Ankle Holster - I am picking ARBL. It also happens to work out that is makes sense this week.... I mean Ankle Holster is one of the teams that Gluten Douches beat this year... which means they must be awful!

*Turns out that the MG did not pick ARBL... about time he realizes how sh**ty his team is

**Also, Ankle Holster must be inhaling some of that good tent fog - picking up Aaron Rodgers for the bench

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

The J-Bones (6-6) v PEN15 Wrinkle (7-5)

In my class I have a few diehard Seattle Seahawks fans - senior boys. For past three years they have told me how their secondary is not good and this year it has not changed. The sentiment is, "If you want to beat Seattle, just throw the ball." You know what that means? Dak and Lamb are about to have a field day. This is the stack to have this week... and King Henry gets to face-off against Indy's run defense. Look for PEN15 to have a big week and possibly make a run at the belt!

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle

Eff that little motto, did nothing for me... much like the Covid shot that did nothing for Demar Hamlin

With Love

Commish

Week 12 Results

One week down... two more to go... and the race gets tighter. Let's jump straight into it and break down the race and who is looking to get in and who is looking to go home early....

IN - Njigbas in Paris, East West TD's, Time for Love

Should be in - Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas, PEN15 Wrinkle, Ertz when Eifert

In the race - The J-Bones, I Miss TB12, Handy Rudgins, I Hate Chad G, Insert Team Name Here

Probably Out - Ankle Holster, Hoosier Daddy

OUT - Gluten Douches.... but they won the belt this week!!

We will be focusing on the middle of the pack in next week's predictions, with 2 weeks to go - the picture is becoming more clear. However, it is ironic that as soon as the Gluten Douches were eliminated from playoff contention - they have their best week. It is, what it is.

Matchup of the Week

Time for Love (8-4) v PEN15 Wrinkle (7-5)

Could there have been a better MotW? I think not. Let's break it down how it all happened...

PEN15 jumps out to a large lead after the Thanksgiving games... the big dogs (Dak and Lamb) did their part as well as Montgomery and LaPorta. 

Slowly, but surely, Time for Love builds a comeback. Until it looks like it was too large of a deficit. 

Love Time is down nearly 60 points going into the Bills/Eagles game. Fear not, Josh Allen and Gabe Davis are here.

But wait, the game is over - Love Time is still losing... never fear Jake Elliott is here. Dude is absolute stud. Elliott makes a 60 yarder in the rainy weather and pushes the game to over time.

Josh Allen and Gabe Davis win the coin flip and the rest is history... minus the part where the Bills lost the game... but who cares about that? They did their job for fantasy!

Prediction: Time for Love... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!

Gluten Douches* (3-9) v I Miss Tom Brady (6-6)

Is anybody really surprised by this? Not this guy. Kyren Williams was a stud before getting injured and he is still a stud after being injured. Atlanta looks competent when they actually use their best player on their roster. On the flip side, I Miss TB12 had a good week... but this loss is devastating to their race to the playoffs. This was a win that was probably counted on, now they are going to have to find a win (maybe two) in the last two weeks.

Prediction: Gluten Douches... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: I Miss Tom Brady... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (7-5) v Hoosier Daddy (4-8)

So there is this guy who is really good at football and an absolute stud at fantasy football. His name is Jalen Hurts. It does help when you are throwing the ball to one of the best receiving duos in the NFL and you know he is going to have designed runs. Hurts had 2 rushing touchdowns and 65 rushing yards - that line alone would have put him as the 12th best RB - then you throw in his QB stats. Plus, JT had a good game and is looking stronger each week. The Indianapolis offensive line is starting to enforce their will and nobody trusts Minshew to throw the ball. ARBL is looking like a team destine to make a run in the playoffs. On the flip side, Hoosier Daddy is a long way from last season. This is unfamiliar ground for them, they are not out of it completely - but things are looking grim.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones (6-6) v East West TD's (8-4)

There are times in a fantasy football matchup when it only takes one or two guys and you are going to win. Christian McCaffrey is that guy. There is just nothing more to say about it - he is THAT GUY. On the flip side, The J-Bones are team stuck in the middle. They trade for a guy like Justin Herbert - someone who should be really good... yet, nothing seems to be going right. The J-Bones are going to need to win in the next two weeks, and next week's matchup doesn't look too appealing (PEN15 Wrinkle).

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Handy Rudgins (5-7) v Insert Team Name Here (5-7)

This was a big matchup for both teams to stay in the hunt.... definitely not the week you want two positions to score negative points. To think that Insert Team Name had three players score more than 20 points individually and they still only managed to score 96 points - no bueno. On the flip side, Handy escapes with a win - but they are going to have to figure out their QB situation. Is Purdy going to be the guy to fill-in for Burrow or will Howell be the guy? Only time will tell.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here.... WRONG!!

I Hate Chad G (5-7) v Ertz when Eifert (7-5)

Defense wins championships, plain and simple. Let's take this matchup for example....

Eagles Defense: -2 points

Miami Defense: 23 points

If these numbers were their averages, I Hate Chad G wins this matchup. If these numbers were their projections, I Hate Chad G wins this matchup. However, that is why you play the game! They weren't and Ertz when Eifert wins the matchup.

Prediction: I Hate Chad G... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Njigbas in Paris (9-3) v Ankle Holster (4-8)

NJIGBA. A. DOUBT.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 43-41

Mystery Guest: 44-40

GD Top Drafted RB: J. Jacobs (174.1)

AH Top Drafted RB: J. Cook (152.9)

Week 12 Predictions

Alright, so I have been trying figure how best to set this up... this is what I settled on.

Matchups will be posted and likely scenarios within the matchups will be posted. It doesn't mean that is the only way that team will make the playoffs - it is just the most likely way. Similar to warming up an oven.... lots of ways to get that engine going. To name a few: The Interviewer, Doggy Bowl, Peek-a-Boo, Get Over Here, Sandcastles, Sideways Salad, and my personal favorite "Oh no you didn't."

Take those for what you will, we all have time off this week - I recommend really making your your oven is open to new ideas before trying to start it a new way. I also recommend stretching before hand.

Matchup of the Week

Time for Love (7-4) v PEN15 Wrinkle (7-4)

Love Time: Most likely in.... 8 wins should get you in. Finishing the season with teams with currently winning records - but I like your odds to get one win amongst the three matchups.

PEN15 Wrinkle: Most likely in.... 8 wins should get you in. You finish the season with Love Time/JBones/Handy.... if you can't win one of these and you lose the points tie-breakers... you deserve to not make it.

Both these teams are high enough that they should win any tie-breaker, they are actually fighting to stay alive in the race to win the regular season. Surprise both are chasing a Njigba!

Prediction: Time for Love

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle

Gluten Douches (2-9) v I Miss Tom Brady (6-5)

I Miss Tom Brady: Most likely in... getting a win this week would be extremely helpful... they finish with Gluten/Njigbas/Love Time... two of those teams are playoff/top seed contenders... this week is a "must" win week... chance drop tremendously if they do not win this week

Gluten Douches: Already out... not even sure what ESPN is thinking here... 5 wins at best... 8 teams already with more wins than that... I am just playing spoiler from here on out

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: I Mist Tom Brady

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (6-5) v Hoosier Daddy (4-7)

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams: Most likely in... this week is important... although they still get a matchup with Ankle Holster (also not very good) and then they face Ertz when Eifert... a win in one of these first two weeks would eliminate a needed win in the last week.

Hoosier Daddy: Most likely who knows... Seems unfair to put that for a team like Hoosier Daddy, hear me out... their last two weeks are against Gluten and Handy - neither team has a winning record and neither team is that good... if they win those matchups they can get to 6 wins... if they win this week, they could get to 7 wins.... this is an important week!

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

The J-Bones** (6-5) v East West TDs (7-4)

The J-Bones: Most likely in... I can't believe I typed that after the injuries... they will need to win the last week against Ankle Holster... and if they get one win between Titties and PEN15, they are in.... but the win against Ankle Holster should do it without the other win.

East West Titties:  Most likely in... Fighting for the top seed/2nd seed.... if they win their division they lock up the 2nd seed in the playoffs... they finish the season with Jbones/Gluten/Hatred... most likely going to get the 2nd seed at minimum

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Handy Rudgins (4-7) v Insert Team Name Here (5-6)

Handy Rudgins: Most who knows... A win here helps tremendously... I think 6 wins is the going to be the bare minimum to get in... after this week they need to win against Hoosier Daddy... then they need to hope things fall their way... they are not beating PEN15 in the final week to get in... heard it here first.

Insert Team Name Here: Most likely who knows... I personally think that it could come down between Handy/Insert/Hoosier/Eifert for the final spot... this week is super important for Insert Team Name to stay 1 game ahead of those two... Handy has a big advantage in tie-breaker... but Insert Team Name has the easier schedule to end

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here

I Hate Chad G (5-6) v Ertz when Eifert (6-5)

I Hate Chad G: Most likely out.... they need to win here to even have a chance... then they have a chance to ruin Insert Team Name Here's chance (ironic)... if they win both those matchups... they have a chance to finish 7-7 and squeak by some team... must win week

Ertz when Eifert: Most likely who knows... they apart of a 4 team battle for the last spots... after this week they have tough matchups against Love Time and ARBL (both teams that I think are top spot contenders)... need to win this week or that who knows flips to "Most likely out"

Prediction: I Hate Chad G

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert

Njigbas in Paris**** (8-3) v Ankle Holster (4-7)

Njigbas in Paris: Most likely in... already have 8 wins... gonna win any tie-breaker... they only reason why they are not 100 percent is because teams could theoretically tie and then they could "possibly" lose the tie-breakers, but we all know that isn't happening

Ankle Holster: Most likely out... gonna lose this week... which doesn't help... they finish the season with matchups against Njigbas/ARBL/JBones... all have winning records. They would need to win at bare minimum two of those matchups and then hope for help... that is bare minimum.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Eff that little motto, did nothing for me... much like the Covid shot that did nothing for Demar Hamlin

With Love

Commish

Week 11 Results

Well, well, well - I had already written the entry below and then, what do you know, the Douches are not fully eliminated. ESPN says we have 1 percent chance to make the playoffs. Be on the look out for scenarios for each team to make the playoffs - the upcoming predictions blog will feature likely scenarios and then predictions. It might take a while to figure out how the Douches can actually make the playoffs.

Don't bother sending me offers - unless you are going rape yourself (without lube), I am probably not going to accept the trade. I like my team and I also think that some of my players would help out a team in the race and since there is no benefit for me to trade away players and get future picks (we should look into doing a dynasty league)... I will just sit in the corner and cuck my way as you guys all fight for a playoff spot.

***The post below was written before the Monday Night Football game***

***It has finally happened.... WE HAVE ELIMINATED A TEAM FROM THE RACE!! Given, it was my team.... but we held for much longer than I thought we would. The Gluten Douches squad is now locked up and can longer be apart of a trade. Which does remove some decent players from those that are desirable - although they shouldn't be that desirable if they couldn't even make the playoffs. 

I get it - the Douches sucked this year. To think that a team with Davante Adams/Austin Ekeler/Trevor Lawrence with the addition of Bijan Robinson didn't make the playoffs. I am not complaining - but when those guys would be heavily sought after in the trade market does erk me a little. No worries though.... I get the chance to play spoiler, although my sh*tty ass team will probably fail at that as well.

Matchup of the Weak

The J-Bones** (6-5) v Insert Team Name Here (5-6)

This was a big win for The J-Bones... and I am not going to toot my horn - but I pretty called everything correctly in this matchup. It is ironic that I can do that, but my team still sucks and I am getting it handed to me in picks. Nonetheless, this is a needed win for The J-Bones and I can't help but think if Chubb and Williams didn't get hurt. This team still has a decent chance to make the playoffs and this win carried by Herbert and Cowboys. The Chargers are terrible, but Herbert continues to score well - proving that fantasy football and real football don't always coincide.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Gluten Douches (2-9) v Ertz when Eifert (6-5)

This was a big win for Ertz when Eifert - possibly their biggest. What I mean by that.... this is the most points this team has scored... ALL. F*CKING. YEAR. Going into this matchup they were averaging 30+ less than what they scored this matchup. Given, the Douches were losing anyways - but the narrative rings true.... want a chance at the belt? Fire up some Douches and start cleaning house (see what I did there).

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy (4-7) v No Time for Love (7-4)

No Time for Love is getting hot at the right time... and Hoosier Daddy is not. It definitely hurt that a majority of the team was on a bye week - but I am not sure there is enough fire power even when at full capacity. On the flip side, No Time for Love got a huuuuuge win in terms of the playoff push and they did it without Kamara - comfortably 20 points more than both running backs combined this week. There is a good chance that Aaron Jones is done for a couple weeks and now No Time is going to need to do something to make a push deep into the playoffs. They have the firepower... do they have the depth?

Prediction: No Time for Love... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love... RIGHT!!

East/West TD's** (7-4) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (6-5)

This was a big win for Titties... 7 wins should make the playoffs. On the flip side, ARBL has a good team and should make the playoffs, but they definitely need to lock up their 7th win before it gets too late. Luckily for them, they face two teams with a losing record and then another team that will be very close in the playoff push. Essentially, their fate is in their hands and they have a comforting schedule to finish the year.

Prediction: East/West TD's... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!

I Miss TB12 (6-5) v Handy Rudgins (4-7)

The KC Gang lost last night, but TB12 got what he needed. Pacheco runs soooo hard - I really like his game. The only problem with Pacheco - he doesn't necessarily equate to a terrific fantasy football player. He is a terrific runner in an offense that wants to put the ball in their QB's hands. A win is a win and if Burrow and Chase don't score more than 20 combined.... or individually.... Handy's days are numbered!

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (4-7) v I Hate Chad G (5-6)

What a matchup this became!! Team Hatred narrowly took the lead and then made the decision of all decisions.... he took out his defense. They ended up scoring positive points (Eagles - 6 points)... but you would hate to see the end of the playoff race come down to a tie-breaker and they end up losing on "Points Scored." It should also be noted that Team Hatred's bench outscored 5 other team's starters... and that is with two players on the bye.

Prediction: I Hate Chad G... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

PEN15 Wrinkle* (7-4) v Njigbas in Paris**** (8-3)

Remember when I said that this should have probably been the MotW? Well, I guess somehow decided to showcase themselves anyway. Those fancy Njigbas... the only position not scoring double digits was the defense (Cleveland had 8 points). That is some serious depth. Let's be real.... Njigbas are probably the team to beat as move closer to the playoffs - which means I may have just jinxed them. Plus, PEN15 becomes even stronger with a trade that went down unbeknownst to me and it will be processed after this week. Sam LaPorta will be joining the squad... which will be a very good replacement for Andrews. Could this be a preview to a future championship?!?

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... RIGHT!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 38-39

Mystery Guest: 42-35

GD Top Drafted RB: J. Jacobs (151.6 points)

AH Top Drafted RB: B. Hall (139 points)

Week 11 Predictions

And we are here... 4 weeks to go to the end of the regular season. There is still not a team eliminated in the race - but the race is getting clearer....

Most Likely In

Njigbas in Paris

PEN15 Wrinkle

East/West TD's

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

No Time for Love

These teams should make the playoffs - but it is not a for sure thing yet. It looks like 8 wins will for sure lock up a spot and NIP and Wrinkle are one win away from that. The other teams in this grouping are two wins away and will have plenty of opportunity to lock up that win with some matchups against teams that they should win.

Muddied Middle

The J-Bones

Ertz when Eifert

Insert Team Name Here

I Miss TB12

If 8 wins for sure get you in the playoffs - 7 wins will probably slip into the playoffs. There are 8 teams to make the playoffs, if we assume that the "Most Likely In" group are all going to make the playoffs, that leaves 3 spots left for other teams to fill-in. This group has 4 teams... 4 is bigger than 3... that means one team is a pretender. If I had to guess, it might be The J-Bones who still have matchups with East/West TD's and PEN15 Wrinkle. That makes this week that much more important... when two of these teams face-off.

The Light is getting Darker

Handy Rudgins

Ankle Holster

I Hate Chad G

Hoosier Daddy

Gluten Douches

This group is all looking like it is going to be a struggle to make it... but there is always that one team that makes a run. The last place team only has 2 wins and there are 4 weeks left... which means there is a rare scenario where 6 wins gets into the playoffs. Let's remove that scenario.... 7 wins is what it is going to take. If I had to bet on a team to make a run and squeak into the playoffs - it would be Handy Rudgins. They are getting better as the season goes along... they also have a propensity for making deep runs if they make the playoffs.

Matchup of the Week

The J-Bones** (5-5) v Insert Team Name Here (5-5)

QB: Murray v Herbert

Edge: Herbert

Reasoning: Murray plays for Arizona and to be completely honest...  I have never trusted anything from Arizona. I met this one girl in college from Tucson - she broke my heart into a million pieces and never put it back together. For that reason, I am taking Herbert - who is also playing Green Bay and they have forgotten how to play football in the beer drinking state.

RB: Mixon/Etienne v Pollard/Conner

Edge: Mixon/Etienne

Reasoning: Conner plays in Arizona and to be completely honest... I have never trusted anything from Arizona. I met this one girl in college from Phoenix - she broke my heart into a million pieces and never put it back together. For that reason, I am taking Etienne and Mixon - who are both top 20 running backs and Etienne is a top 3 running back.

WR: Smith/Cooper v Godwin/McLaurin

Edge: Smith/Cooper

Reasoning: Smith has a good matchup against Kansas City... even though he isn't the number one receiver in Philly. Kansas City have given up big plays through the air and Smith is the big play receiver. On the flip side, Godwin plays against San Fransisco and they completely shut down Jacksonville's air attack last week. Also, in Washington - Howell is throwing the ball all over the field, except to McLaurin.

TE: Kincaid v Kmet

Edge: Kincaid

Reasoning: Kincaid has become an emerging weapon in Buffalo and he is looking like a young Gronk/Kelce. He runs well and he finds the open space - Allen looks his way often and Kincaid could easily finish as a top 5 TE by the end of the season. New York has a good defense.... on the outside. That leaves Kincaid free to work in the middle... Buffalo has struggled, but Kincaid has performed.

FLEX: Mostert v Foreman

Edge: Foreman

Reasoning: Detroit is playing some high quality football... on the offensive side. Foreman is lined up for a good week against Detroit. Mostert has Achane returning back to the lineup and they could be facing a running back split.

DEF/K: Detroit/Sanders v Dallas/Bass

Edge: Cowboys/Bass

Reasoning: If you have paid attention to the NFL, the Dallas Cowboys are the hottest team in the league right now. Their offense is flying all around defenses and it frees up their defense to really turn up the heat. Dallas is also matching up against Carolina - and Bryce Young has struggled all year. I would not be shocked to see Dallas score more than 15 points this week.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

Ertz when Eifert (5-5) v Gluten Douches (2-8)

Yeahhhhh..... there is no real reason for this prediction. It is going to take a huge week from Ekeler and something magical from Adams. It is not looking good for the must win Douches. On the flip side, Hill/Kittle/Robinson all have a comfy matchup this week and most likely they will continue their superior play. Things are not looking good and at this point I need to hedge my bets with trying to actually win the predictions play (which isn't going well either).

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: Ertz when Eifert

Hoosier Daddy (4-6) v No Time for Love (6-4)

Somehow, Josh Allen is still the number rated QB. He has struggled and now he plays the Jets - who are really good on the defensive side of the ball. However, there are two players on Hoosier Daddy that I am just not sold on. Ty Chandler and Jordan Addison. I know, I know, Dobbs had a good first game with Minnesota. You know who else had a good first game? Zach Wilson. Look at that man now. Kelce and Aiyuk present too much upside. This team is seriously good, they have Kamara (bye week) that can fill in for Dowdle.

Prediction: No Time for Love

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love

East/West TD's** (6-4) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (6-4)

If the MotW wasn't between two teams that desperately need this win, this would be the MotW. Both of these teams are in the top grouping in the league and will most likely make the playoffs. This win would bring them one win closer to clinching a spot. Titties has been struggling, but I just don't know what to expect with half of ARBL's team coming off the IR. They might ball out and they might have a little rust. At this point, the only safe play is to take Titties - handfuls of 'em.

Prediction: East/West TD's

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

I Miss TB12 (5-5) v Handy Rudgins (4-6)

My pick for the team to emerge out of the bottom group and find a way to make the playoffs.... Handy Rudgins. It all starts this week, with the hot play of Burrow and Chase. Think about this, Cincy lost last week and Burrow and Chase still combined for 43.2 points. Not too shabby. Let's also mention, Mahomes and the Kansas City offense has been a little shaky. Now they have the Super Bowl rematch with Philly - I am not sure I trust the KC offense. They have been jinxed by all the Swifties!

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins

Ankle Holster (4-6) v I Hate Chad G (4-6)

I am going to be completely honest.... I know that Ankle Holster is picking himself. If I want any chance to beat him in predictions - I need I Hate Chad G to come out with the win this week. It really doesn't look good as of this writing, with Green Bay getting to play the LAC defense (who don't really play defense in the first place). It is crazy to look at Holster's roster and think that they have every player inside the top 30 at their position and every player but two inside the top 20 and yet they are 5-5. Come on Team Hatred, we need a win!!!

Prediction: I Hate Chad G

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

PEN15 Wrinkle* (7-3) v Njigbas in Paris*** (7-3)

I will admit... somehow I missed this matchup. This should easily be the MotW. This is a battle between the two teams in the lead of each division and arguably two of the top 3 teams. I sincerely apologize to both managers.... this is a mistake on my part. Aside from that, Njigbas has every player inside the top 10 at their position (outside of Jaylen Warren). On the flip side, the Dallas Cowboys have been hot!!! They face-off against Carolina... not a good team. Can the stack of Prescott/Lamb keep up with the consistency of my favorite french shadows? Nah, baby, nah.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

As always... good luck to everyone... except for you, Ertz when Eifert, may your entire roster turn into a body double and forget how to play football - eerily similar to the fate of Demar Hamlin.

With Love

Commish