How could this possibly have happened? I can't stop thinking about last night's (MNF) game and what it meant for my life. No, I am not specifically talking about fantasy football - that matchup was lost the moment Dallas Defense decided to score more points than everyone in the NFL not named Tyreek Hill. No, I am talking about specifically my life and roughly 71% of all Americans. No, that injury meant more... that injury was a message.
No great athletes named Aaron are allowed to dominate on the east coast - other wise they will be taken care of. Don't believe me? Just look at the stats....
Aaron Rodgers - total domination in Wisconsin, some would say a lock for the top 5 QBs all-time. Then he goes to the east coast... taken out after 4 snaps.
Gordon Aaron Hayward - loving life and doing just fine in the western conference, chase the paper to the east coast - BANG! The man has a freak accident two plays into his first game.
Aaron Boone - plays great for a Midwest team (that shall remain unnamed), signs with the Yankees - BOOM! torn ACL playing a different sport (they'll get you anywhere they can on the east coast)
The list goes on...
Why does this affect me? Well, for one - my name was supposed to be Aaron. I lost the race out the chamber to another baby and he was named Aaron instead - he was total loser, actually commissioner for a WNBA fantasy league. Secondly, my son's name was dangerously close to being Aaron. It just makes me think - if they are willing to just take out Aaron's at will.... what name will they stop at???? Adam? John? Todd? Gweneth??????
Week 1Matchup of the WeekGluten Douches (0-1) v The J-Bones* (1-0)
Nothing like feeling somewhat comfortable going into the Sunday Night Football game with a comfortable 22 point lead. Then it happened, right away... Dallas Defense decided to become the 2nd best player in all of fantasy football and just like that this matchup was over. The J-Bones not only win this week, they take the belt! Life is good in Boner Land.
Prediction: Gluten Douches... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
Hoosier Daddy (1-0) v Handy Rudgins (0-1)
Wow, this was a brutal showing for all Handies around the world. This Handy was done by a coal miner and there was no lotion involved whatsoever. What is even crazier is the fact that even with how poorly things looked, they are still 10+ points out of the bottom 5 for the league record books. There is just not a lot to talk about other than the fact that the Browns shut down the highest paid NFL player (a double win for Hoosier Daddy). H-Daddy is now 1-0 with a team that he strongly dislikes... and to be honest, I am on board with the dislike.
Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
East-West TDs (1-0) v PEN15 Wrinkle (0-1)
What is wild to me is the fact that Greta Thunberg threw for 344 yards and still only managed to earn 17 points. It is like no matter what he does he will always be the average white guy in the middle of the pack that likes to rake leaves and grill with an apron on. Yet, Titties gets the job done! Etienne and McCaffrey looked strong and looked like a tandem that could carry a team. On the flip side, Wrinkle (the ESPN ranked number 1 team after the draft) looks to have some issues. One might be playing a player that was ruled out when you have a backup on the bench - but who knows?
Prediction: East/West TDs.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: East/West TDs.... RIGHT!!
I HATE CHAD G (0-1) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (1-0)
Yeeeeeaaaahhhhh.... there is nothing to really say about this one. Just an absolutely brutal way to go down this week. I am not even to say anything for fear of getting put on the east coast list - Adam is close to Aaron.
Prediction: I HATE CHAD G... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: I HATE CHAD G.... WRONG!!
Insert Team Name Here (0-1) v Ankle Holster (1-0)
Ankle Holster..... just absolute gem of a start to the season. The Packers are still daddy - big win for the Holsters and a good hit on a 6-team parlay bet. What isn't to love right now? Jordan Love looked good - but is that because he is good or is that because he was playing the Bears defense... we will find out soon enough. On the flip side, ITNH showed a lot of depth and good star power from Herbert/Ekeler - but without Drake London appearing anywhere on the stat sheet... it just wasn't enough.
Prediction: Insert Team Name Here.... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster.... RIGHT!!
Njigbas in Paris (1-0) v No Time for Love (0-1)
Tough, tough loss for No Time for Love. They had the highest total for a team with a loss and would have beat close to 75% of the league... but it only matters who you face, just ask the LA Chargers. On top of that, J.K. Dobbins is out for the rest of the season. On the flip side, if you thought you won the lottery with Dallas Defense - Tyreek Hill went and had himself a game! He had 11 catches for 215 yards and 2 touchdowns.... woof! To think, the NIP nearly won the belt without a single point from Dallas Goedert. Great week for the minorities all around!
Prediction: Njigbas in Paris.... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... RIGHT!!
I miss Tom Brady (1-0) v Ertz when Eifert (0-1)
I don't want to say this is the worst first week showing from a rookie.... but then again, I am not a liar. What is even crazier to think - you still didn't get last in points this week. I think of everything that happened this week, Jackson only scoring 6 fantasy points against Houston's defense is up there with one of the most shocking. On the flip side, IMTB might have found something with Calvin Ridley. The man looked very fast - was that him or the Indy defense looking lost?
Prediction: I miss Tom Brady... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: I miss Tom Brady... RIGHT!!
Season Prediction: 3-4
Mystery Guest: 6-1
With Love
Commish
GD Top RB: 20.3
AH Top RB: 15.7
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