Week 2 Results

Puka Nucua.

He is the 2nd ranked wide receiver. 

I did some checking up on him and he has quite the story on how he go the NFL, it is good read. Here is the Spark Notes: Puka was born a poor black child. He can remember the days, sittin' on the porch with the family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi. By the age of 13, he was a part of a fishing crew just off the river and it was until a raft came down with a large black man and little white boy came on by. They were going wherever the current took them and Puka hopped on board. Soon the other two jumped off and Puka was left all alone with a tiger and Puka began to regal the tiger with his life story. Until, quickly afterwards they were stranded on an island and the Tiger ran away - leaving Puka with only a volleyball to share his life stories. After getting fed up with the volleyball, Puka decided enough was enough and he made his was to Alabama University where he and this speedy white gentleman dominated the nation's best. The book goes on to write about how Puka almost joined the army with that speedy white gentleman, but Puka was more of a fish guy than a shrimp guy. Puka then decided to play in the NFL and was originally going to be drafted by the Browns - but there were so many trades of picks in the first round (side note: The Browns got exactly what they wanted and a kicker for the hell of it!) that Puka ended up in L.A. After that, the rest is history...

And that is how we now find a random ass Puka Nucua as the number 2 ranked wide receiver in the NFL.

Bonus points: Name the 5 movies referenced in the Puka's life.

Matchup of the Week
The J-Bones* (1-1) v Njigbas in Paris (2-0)

I meeeeeaaannnnn.... I don't want to say what could have happened if Chubb didn't take that helmet to the knee - but my goodness that was brutal to watch. It not only sucks for The J-Bones this week - Chubb was rolling and only getting stronger... but it sucks long term for The J-Bones. This now marks 4 straight years where The J-Bones have had a significant player miss significant amounts of time, or the rest of the season, due to injury (Chubb/Murray/CMC/Prescott). In those years, 2 running backs looked to be on their way to all-pro seasons and 2 QB's were in the midst of MVP-esque seasons. Just a heartache for the kid.

Prediction: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... RIGHT!!

East/West TD's* (2-0) v Gluten Douches (0-2)

In case you missed it, that Puka guy is playing really well. TD's had himself a week and nearly broke the 170 points mark. Not only did Puka have a good week, but so did Cousins and Higgins... in fact everyone outscored their projections except Etienne - and his matchup this week was supposed to be very favorable. On the flip side, Adams did his job and Douches will look solid moving forward - but with the 0-2 start be too much to overcome??

Prediction: Gluten Douches.... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: East/West TD's... RIGHT!!

Handy Rudgins (0-2) v I HATE CHAD G (1-1)

This was a needed win for IHCG... and dare I say, a much needed loss for Handy Rudgins? The trend seems to follow the fact that if Handy Rudgins loses in fantasy, the high school team wins in real life... tough look for week 3 in fantasy. Rudgins is going to struggle as long as Burrow and Chase struggle - it can't be this bad the entire season can it? On the flip side, IHCG won - but at what cost? Barkley is out for at least week 3 and possibly a few more to follow. It is good to lock up the win, but Barkley's injury is going to be something to monitor. It will either need to be addressed with a bench player and hoping for a quick recovery (prognosis is 3-4 weeks), or the lineup will need to be improved through the trade market.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: I HATE CHAD G... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy (1-1) v Insert Team Name Here (1-1)

You hate to say it, but this matchup was never in question. Honestly, and this might be a compliment to the career that Hoosier Daddy has had - but this might be their worst team ever assembled. It is hard to imagine that same to GM who once famously took 6 running backs in the first 7 rounds, now rosters a team that is in desperate need for RB help. On the flip side, the LAC are 0-2.... but they have managed to scored 58 points and never turn the ball over, thanks to the play of Justin Herbert. ITNH has a roster that is ready to make a deep run in the playoffs and this is just the beginning.

Prediction: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here... RIGHT!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-1) v I miss Tom Brady (1-1)

I believe this is what the ESPN rankings were thinking when they projected Wrinkle to be the number 1 overall team of the league. Mike Evans, CeeDee Lamb, and Daniel Jones carried the load this week. Yes, you read that correctly - Daniel MothaF*cking Jones. He wasn't wearing a bra and he let those titties touch the wind....

Prediction: I miss Tom Brady... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: I miss Tom Brady... WRONG!!

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-0) v No Time for Love (0-2)

Can we just appreciate what we are witnessing? Not even just fantasy related - Justin Jefferson might go down as the greatest NFL wide receiver to ever play the game. The man has averaged over 150 yards a game and is the 3rd ranked WR.... without scoring a single touchdown. Some of the catches that he made this week were absolutely insane, I know that I am gushing over a black man and his enormous cock potential - but hey, when you are good, you are good.

Prediction: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (1-1) v Ertz when Eifert (1-1)

Hey looky there, Ertz made a trade and boom he gets a win. Sometimes, it can be that simple - although, I am sure it was not supposed to end up this close. Jamaal Williams was running well and then all of the sudden... injury. The real sh*tty part about it all? The backup running back (Tony Jones Jr) ended with 2 touchdowns. Could have been a really big night for Williams - nonetheless, he got what he needed and a win is a win.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Season: 5-9

Mystery Guest: 10-4

With Love

Commish

GD Top RB: 45.4 points (Kyren Williams)

AH Top RB: 30.2 points (James Cook)