Week 3 Predictions

After two weeks, ESPN is usually looking content for articles. Outside of wild injuries - which there have been plenty of - there is always an article that has a similar headline each year...

"Overreactions" "Question Marks" "Pretender or Contenders"

Something of that nature - lets play the game....

Contenders: Njigbas/Titties/Insert Team Name/PEN15

The first 3 teams... all do it differently. Njigbas is nearly entirely reliant on the air attack - with stud receivers and average (at best) running backs. Titties has arguably the top RB (CMC) and some how has struck golf with Puca and his amazing play as of late. Team Name has arguably the best overall lineup depth with a slew of players that could have big games and players that should always score a decent amount of points. PEN15 is a stretch to be in this category, but as it stands they have the 4th most points and one of the teams ahead of them lost their 1st round pick. There are lots of ways to find your way to the top - some of it involves luck - but if I had to pick a team to wager a king's ransom on.... it would be Insert Team Name. Their lineup provides a lot of depth overall and gives them plenty of opportunities to score points.

Murky Middle: ARBL/No Time for Love/Ankle Holster/Gluten/Handy

It may be shocking that two teams in this bunch are 0-2 and some teams in the pretenders group are technically "ranked" higher. However, No Time for Love and Gluten Douches 7th and 6th in points scored (respectively). Gluten has been royally screwed in the first 2 weeks... playing the top point getter each week and having over 50 more points scored against him than 2nd place. ARBL and Ankle Holster are two teams that have avoided the injury bug. Handy has a lineup that should be good, but for some reason Burrow and Chase look subpar and even a little lost. If I had to wager a king's ransom on one of these teams moving up in the rankings... it would have to be ARBL. ARBL have Jefferson and Hurts as their stallions and then a roster that can easily average 10-15 points a guy after that. This is all with Johnathan Taylor sitting on the bench - if he comes back, this team becomes extremely good.

Pretenders: JBones/Hoosier/Ertz/IMTB

Let's be honest, The J-Bones don't really belong in this category - but what do you do when their number 1 player has a gruesome season ending injury? It is going to be tough to fill that spot. Ertz is 1-1, with a narrow victory over Ankle Holster. IMTB and Hoosier need to address their lack of running back depth and pronto. Ertz is working their up the rankings with wins, but the lack of points scored is overly concerning. Although, we have seen a horrific lineup win it all before. If I had to pick a team to come out of this group and rise from the ashes... my money would be on The J-Bones. As stated earlier - they don't belong here, but I need to see how they can adjust their lineup to fill the massive gap (reminds me of this college girl I once knew) created by a Chubb.

Now, what to do with I HATE CHAD G... nobody knows. If Barkley is able to make a full recovery... they could be in the top 4. If he doesn't return, or quickly, and he isn't replaced - he is most likely dropped to the Pretenders category. That is the hard thing about labeling teams in fantasy football - you just never know what could happen.

Matchup of the Week
No Time for Love (0-2) v Handy Rudgins (0-2)
"Someone is going to win!"

QB: J. Allen v J. Burrow

Edge: J. Allen

Reasoning: This was supposed to be a lot closer than expected. But the curse of the big contract has struck. Very few players play well directly after signing their big contract and Burrow is no different. The man looks lost when it comes to throwing the ball. He did finish with 2 touchdowns last week and hopefully he can build on that.... but when it comes to QBs it is hard to argue with Josh Allen.

RB: Perine/Allgeier v N. Harris/J Gibbs

Edge: Harris/Gibbs

Reasoning: At this point, is reasoning really necessary? You know want to the fast track to the dweller of fantasy football? Bad RB's. Now I get it, Kamara and Aaron Jones are sitting on the bench, but we can only see what we can see right now. Kamara isn't playing for 2 more weeks (but he looks like there will be no real competition for the job when he returns) and Jones is hurt. Harris and Gibbs are the clearcut favorites.

WR: Aiyuk/G. Davis v Chase/Z. Flowers

Edge: Chase/Flowers

Reasoning: Matchups. Chase is playing LAR - which should create plenty of opportunity for Chase to catch a nice deep ball. Flowers is by far the worst receiver of this group... but they are playing Indianapolis. Indy is the bottom 4 for passing yards given up and that includes playing against Houston who is awful. The matchups are heavily in Chase and Flowers favor.

TE: Kelce v Hockenson

Edge: Kelce

Reasoning: There is no other TE that can compare to what Kelce does for Kansas City. He is essentially wide receiver number one in KC. On top of that, he will always have a matchup that is friendly to him - put a linebacker on him - and he can just run deeper routes... put a CB on him - and he just bodies him and wins jump balls. Hockenson is no slouch, but the edge will always go to Kelce.

Flex: J. Reed v J. Ford

Edge: J. Ford

Reasoning: To be fair, I would have never guessed to see this pairing. This time yesterday, I would have not even known who either of these guys are. One play changed everything, and J. Ford is the heavy favorite in this matchup. And that ladies and gentleman, is why you draft a handcuff!

Def/K: Bills/J. Meyers v Tenn/Butker

Edge: Tenn/Butker

Reasoning: Butker is tier 1... everything else can just f*ck off.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love

Njigbas in Paris (2-0) v Gluten Douches (0-2)

You know what is brutal, facing the "best" team in the league after having to face the top scorers in the league the previous two weeks. Look, I have no other reason to pick Njigbas - other than the fact that they have scored the most points, they have the hottest stack in the league (Tua/Hill), and for some reason K. Allen has yet to get hurt. You know who hears all that and still doesn't give a sh*t? Bijan "Big Black" Robinson. He is going to drop a 40 point on Detroit and with that Gluten will pull off the upset of upsets and take down the top dawg in the league.

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

Insert Team Name Here (1-1) v I HATE CHAD G (1-1)

If there is one thing I know about football, fantasy or real... it is hard to replace an injured star running back. IHCG is experiencing that right now, it looks like they are going to hold on to Barkley (admirable), but what will they do with his absence. Gus Edwards is not a bad option, especially considering Baltimore is facing Indianapolis. However, Pittman Junior is the flex and who knows what is going to happen with him - Minshew is looking like the starting QB and let's be honest... there is a reason he was the backup. Team Name has a solid team and if Ekeler returns, this team is looking to win this week and many more matchups in the future. Look for Herbert and Ekeler to continue the hot play from LAC's offense and lock up this victory.

Prediction: Insert Team Name Here

Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here

I miss TB12 (1-1) v East/West TD's* (2-0)

TB12 could really use a win, but they are playing arguably the hottest team - Titties dropped nearly 170 points last week. Mahomes does get the pleasure of playing Chicago's porous defense, but after that... the lineup looks a little shaky. Ridley looked nothing like he did in week 1 and Metcalf is questionable. I would hate to rely on Mattison and Pacheco to win this matchup for me. Titties has by far the number one running back (CMC) with Chubb/Barkley/Ekeler banged up or out and Cousins is showing why Netflix picked him for their Quarterback series. Puka is likely due for some kind of regression, but until that happens I guess we have to trust him to perform like a top 5 wide receiver.  This leaves me no other option other than to pick Titties - which we all love!

Prediction: East/West TD's

Mystery Guest: I Miss Tom Brady

Ertz when Eifert (1-1) v Hoosier Daddy (1-1)

To be completely honest, this might be the lowest scoring matchup of the week - but someone has to win it! Jackson has a friendly matchup with Indianapolis, but he is questionable and AJB looks like he is completely content with stat lines involving no touchdowns. On the flip side, I would hate to trust Stevenson and Matt Brieda to hold down the fort - at least Brieda will be serviceable until Barkley returns. I just don't see anything happening with Hoosier Daddy until he can swing a trade... maybe try and fleece someone... eh, eh?

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-0) v The J-Bones (1-1)

As I stated earlier, it is hard to replace a star running back and The J-Bones might the exception. Mostert is apart of the Miami offense and has been getting plenty of opportunity to score, with 3 touchdowns through week 2. He is averaging 19 points a week... which will be unlikely for him to keep that up - but a very good 2nd option to say the least. The real issue? Justin Jefferson is a freak and I can't imagine he doesn't get a touchdown this week - I may even bet it. Minnesota against LAC looks to be a shootout and Jefferson is going to be a big reason why, which is why ARBL is the top of the "Murky Middle" pack and will looking to make that jump after this week.

Prediction: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Ankle Holster (1-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (1-1)

These two have a history and proximity issue and I am all for it. Wrinkle will most likely be playing Prescott against Arizona's defense, and the stack with Lamb - which might just be too much for Holster to handle. You can bet that Jeudy will return back to the lineup and have an opportunity to score some big points against a Miami defense that seems to find themselves in a shootout. Mr. Primetime is going to throw a few deep balls this week and Jeudy will be on the receiving end of a couple of them. However, Jordan Love has been playing extremely well and if he welcomes back Aaron Jones - his stock value only goes up. Doubs is quite the stack as Prescott/Lamb... but when you have Diggs and G. Wilson to pick up the slack, it don't matter. Holster needs this win and might find themselves needing a dud from Mike Evans - no worries, he is never good three weeks in a row... until now.

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

As always... good luck to everyone... except for you, Njigbas in Paris, may your entire roster turn into a body double and forget how to play football eerily similar to the fate of Demar Hamlin.

With Love

Commish