There are some times in life when you are extremely confident and then everything comes tumbling down. It is like playing Jenga and you have the perfect block to pull - BOOM! - down goes the tower. Everything you thought to be true and worthy, gone within the blink of an eye. That is how the Gluten Douches are feeling right now - like the rug has been ripped out beneath their feet.
On the flip side, some teams feel the exact opposite. Maybe they happen to draft the best player in football and stumble upon a flaming hot Hawaiian - who catches 10 receptions a game. Maybe they have gone from D.D.A. ranking 10 to now sitting on top of the Limp Bizkit division. Titties has a deadly combo with CMC and Puka... not to mention the Vikings offense is literally just Kirk Cousins throwing the ball. At this very moment, Titties is in an Uber coming home from a crazy night out and struck out with every possible lady in da scene. Yet, at the last minute - the driver said he is going to pick up a couple and Uber Share the ride at half cost. What do ya know? A couple broads hop in and the chase is on... back in the driver's seat for the East-West Titties... can they close?.... can they keep this pace up?... do you think they would want to do a puzzle when they get back to his place?
Whether you are in the seat of the Douches or the seat of the Titties - you are probably thinking, "What can I do to make a move for the playoffs?" A couple things need to be considered...
A) Bye Weeks are starting - which means depth is going to be something that not every team has and without it... you may struggle to put together a team that is worth a playoff push.
B) Luck will play a role - for example look at the Douches... 5th in points scored/0-4. Where as Ertz when Eifert is 3-1 and 10th in points scored. You can only beat who you face - so pray to the big guy upstairs that you play Handy Rudgins (last in points scored) every week.
C) Future is now - for some teams, you can not wait - you need wins now. You need to do whatever it takes to get a team that looks ready THIS week... not in a couple weeks. You can't put yourself in a hole that is too big to climb out of.
D) Trading is a double edge sword - if you make a trade to strengthen your team, you are also strengthening another team. Sometimes, it is a necessity - you have to make a trade to put yourself in a better situation... sometimes it is may hurt your chance more than help. If other teams also get stronger, it hurts your chances of beating them.
But, what do I know? My team is 0-4 and the light is getting dim and to be honest I have already picked
out my headstone. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Matchup of the week
I Miss Tom Brady (3-1) v Njigbas in Paris* (3-1)
Call it what you want, this is a shocker. Njigbas had the hottest team coming into the week - but boy did they cool off. Not even breaking the 100 point barrier... I mean can we get a BOLO on Dallas Goedert? Have the Eagles completely forgot about their TE? Josh Jacobs had a good game and Pacheco is looking like a top 10 running back. Pacheco is clearly the workhorse for Mahomes... any running back that can secure the bulk of the work in that offense is going to be a top 10 running back.
Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!
Gluten Douches (0-4) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (3-1)
In case you didn't read the top... the tower is crumbling for the Douches. They need to start winning or they might have the best team to not make the playoffs... not a good title to have for the season. What really killed them this week was the late replacement of Watson with Carr... but Carr only scored 3 more points than you and I did this week. On the flip side, ARBL had 4 players break the 20 point mark and no other player broke the 10 point mark. A week that should have been a win for the Douches, ended with a win for ARBL and the streak continues - if I don't pick ARBL they win... do we jinx them next week?
Prediction: Gluten Douches... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... RIGHT!!
I HATE CHAD G (2-2) v No Time for Love (2-2)
Maybe I missed something - but Team Hatred played O'Connell over Stafford? And Stafford played in the 1 o'clock game and played against the Indianapolis defense - seemed like a no brainer. Also, gotta question the move of leaving Thielen on the bench after having two back-to-back weeks... feel like he should be an automatic starter. No time for Love has been waiting for the week, they finally get Kamara back in the lineup and wow - that offense is completely designed for him. He finished with more receptions than carries - which is completely fine for Kamara owners around the world.
Prediction: No Time for Love... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: I HATE CHAD G... WRONG!!
Insert Team Name Here (1-3) v Ertz when Eifert (3-1)
Let's just call it what it is... Ertz when Eifert is 3-0 since making a big splash with a trade early on in the season. Some called it, "The biggest fleece job since Coach Randy." Yet, here we are and Ertz is on a roll. This really came down to the battle of the Philly receivers, both players thinking they are the number 1 - hell, both owners think they dawg is the number 1. Guess we got our answer... very clearly AJ Brown is still the man in Philly.
Prediction: Insert Team Name Here... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Insert Team Name Here... WRONG!!
East/West TD's* (3-1) v Ankle Holster (1-3)
If you haven't read the top portion of the blog... check it out. Titties is feeling good about their position and frankly, I think they are gonna hold it down and rock a little menage-a-trois. By the way, Ankle Holster's - your running back's suck... at least the Douches are free rolling thanks to the NYJets having no clue how to use Breece Hall.
Prediction: East/West TD's... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!
Handy Rudgins (0-4) v The J-Bones** (2-2)
Well, what do you do when you lose Chubb and M. Williams? You win the mothaf*cking belt. Who would have thought that Cole Kmet and Dallas Defense would lead a squad to a belt victory in fantasy football. It doesn't matter that they were playing the worst team in the league - paging Joe Burrow... paging Joe Burrow... you are needed in the Cincinnati Quarterback Room. Is this kind of success sustainable from Kmet and Dallar? Probably not. May as well enjoy it while you can!
Message to Handy Rudgins: Meet me in the MotW at the park at 3:00 - bring your team of b*tches and I will have mine. Maybe afterwards I will make you some pancakes.
Prediction: Handy Rudgins... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
Hoosier Daddy (1-3) v PEN15 Wrinkle (3-1)
If you were to tell me that Hoosier Daddy is actually going to get a good week out of Fields, I would have said that this matchup was going to be a landslide. Instead, Fields got no help and Wrinkle got another big week from Achane and Gang. Mark Andrews had a big week as Lamar began to realize that Andrews is his best weapon on the field at any given time. Wrinkle should be kissing Njigba's feet for Achane, what an unlucky drop and then an incredibly lucky pick-up.
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy...WRONG!!
With Love
Commish
Season: 9-19
Mystery Guest: 15-13
GD Top Drafted RB: K. Williams 81.4 points
AH Top Drafted RB: J. Cook 58.1 points
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