Week 8 Predictions

We are now at the halfway point in the season... let's take a look at where everything stands.

Top Team in the League: East/West TD's

There are 5 teams sitting at 5-2.... FIVE!! That is a wild stat by itself. However, of those 5 teams - I would not want to play Titties the most. They have deep lineup and they always seems to score points. They have scored over 150 points over half the time they play. They have big-time players who are focal points of their respective teams offenses.

Team Most Likely to Miss the Playoffs: Gluten Douches

It pains me to say this.... but they haven't won. They have a great looking lineup, but when you don't win - you can't make the playoffs. They do finish the season with 5 teams that have a below .500 record - but it might be too little too late. They may need to run the table to even have a chance. Mathematically, they sit at a 2% chance on ESPN - which bullsh*t (clearly more like 8%).

Team Most Likely to Collapse: The J-Bones

I said it before and I will say it again... I am shocked The J-Bones are where they are. They are one of the teams sitting at 5-2 and they are doing this without Nick Chubb and Mike Williams. Both of those players were expected to be huge contributors - props to The J-Bones for doing this well. However, it is extremely hard to sustain that pace without your top drafted dawgs... it could happen - not betting on it.

Team Most Likely to Make a Blockbuster Trade: Handy Rudgins

Handy Rudgins is in a unique position - they have pieces to the puzzle and are not out of the race. But they are just far enough away - that they will need to decide if they want to make a swing and go for it or if they are just going to ride it out into the sunset. They enough players that they could make a big trade and bolster the consistency of the starting lineup - which is what may need to happen in order to make the playoffs.

Remember, it is the top 8 that make it - you just gotta beat out 6 teams. Currently, if you have a winning record - you are making it. A lot can change in the last half of the season, but may the odds forever be in your favor!

Matchup of the Week

I Hate Chad G (4-3) v East/West TD's** (5-2)

I get it, I get it - Team Hatred has been in the MotW two weeks in row. Well guess what, this isn't America were everyone get a fair share and let anybody be int he MotW. Nah, f*ck that - you gotta earn it. East/West is the best team in the league right now - they earned it.

QB: Stafford v Cousins

Edge: Cousins

Reasoning: Besides the fact that Cousins and Vikings offense have to throw the ball 45+ times a game to get anything done - Stafford is playing Dallas. Dallas has been known to turn-up the heat on opposing QBs and they are coming off a bye week - plenty of time to prepare. 

RB: Barkley/Walker v McCaffrey/Etienne

Edge: McCaffrey/Etienne

Reasoning: CMC is Ruler of all things Fantasy Football.

WR: Waddle/Meyers v Hollywood/Puka

Edge: Waddle/Meyers

Reasoning: Did you read the QB ordeal? Puka is the best rated wide receiver in the bunch... but they have to play Dallas. Hate that matchup. Hollywood also has a matchup with Baltimore - Hate that matchup. This is just a matter of unfriendly matchups not playing in their favor.

TE: Pitts v Waller

Edge: Waller

Reasoning: I hate the Atlanta Falcons offense.... absolutely hate. You never who to trust and you never know who is going to play. On top of that Waller is finally becoming recognized in the NYG offense. Waller is averaging 15 points over that past three weeks - look for that trend to continue against the NYJ defense (who is strong on the outside and they force QBs to dump down and hit TE's).

FLEX: Pittman v Johnson

Edge: Pittman

Reasoning: Johnson is just getting back aaaaaannnndddd Pittsburgh offense is horrible. Minshew is not Richardson - he is better for his receivers. AR likes to run and miss targets - Minshew is little more accurate and he realizes that Pittman is the go-to guy. 

DEF/K: Eagles/Santos v Ravens/Younghoe

Edge: Ravens/Younghoe

Reasoning: I have always been a fan of young hoes.

Prediction: East/West Titties

Mystery Guest: East/West Titties

Gluten Douches (0-7) v Hoosier Daddy (3-4) 

You know what? Things will never change. I will always pick the Gluten Douches - shoot to get hot and shoot to stay hot. I have no reasoning, it hasn't worked yet, but when it does - it will be sweet.

Prediction: Gluten Douches

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

Njigbas in Paris** (5-2) v Insert Team Name Here (2-5)

You know when you see those juicy NFL matchups... something like Houston v San Francisco... and you just want to throw piles of money on to San Francisco - because it is a lock. Well, here you go - I will let you guess which team is San Francisco and which team is Houston.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris

No Time for Love (4-3) v I Miss Tom Brady (4-3)

This is the only other matchup (other than the MotW) that features two teams with a winning record. Unfortunately, they got there two different ways. No Time for Love had a very nice week last week and they come into this week sporting the number one QB and TE. On top of that, Kamara is the 3rd ranked RB if you go by average per game (1 is on the IR and 2 is McCaffrey). This team is starting to come together and they will be making a push at the backhalf... if you know what I mean.

Prediction: No Time for Love

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams* (5-2) v It Ertz when Eifert (3-4)

Honestly, these two teams look much different than their records suggest. Ertz scored the 2nd most points last week and ARBL has quite a few players on the IR. I think that ARBL will be the better team when it is all said and done, but not this week. Not with Lamar getting to play Zona and AJB and Kittle have good matchups this week as well. Ertz gets the win, that they deserve.

Prediction: Ertz when Eifert

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

The J-Bones** (5-2) v Ankle Holster (2-5)

Wildly enough, The J-Bones are still really good. Foreman was a big pickup (atleast until Herbert comes back for the Bears) and this team is solid throughout. Actually, let's not beat around the bush - I am losing in picks and I know the Mystery Guest is going to pick Ankle Holster.... which means I need to pick The J-Bones. C'mon Boners!

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

Handy Rudgins (2-5) v PEN15 Wrinkle (5-2)

In a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors... a Handy always beats a PEN15.

Prediction: Handy Rudgins

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins

As always... good luck to everyone... except for you, Hoosier Daddy, may your entire roster turn into a body double and forget how to play football eerily similar to the fate of Demar Hamlin.

With Love

Commish