Week 5 Results

At some point you begin to look around for cameras. Like, "Am I getting Punk'D here?" If any of you are not fully aware of what happened.... Gluten Douches lost to Handy Rudgins - the only other 0-4 team in the league. On top of that, Handy was averaging 91.7 points a week.... HE SCORED 141 F*CKING POINTS!!

I mean, whatever I have done to deserve this (swindle a few trades) - punishment accepted, time is served. This may be the longest we have gone with someone not getting a win. Now you just can't be that fag bag that lets the Douches get a win. Well, guess what... they might not lose again. All. Season. Long. So buckle up b*tches, cuz we are taking a trip to Douche Town.

Matchup of the Week

Gluten Douches (0-5) v Handy Rudgins (1-4)

If you haven't, read the top part of the blog. Also, the only sad part is that Handy Rudgins didn't win the belt. He had the Jimmy Chaz (52 points) and Burrow (23 points) connection going - it is a real shame... but a win is a win and I am sure that is all Handy Rudgins was looking for!

Prediction: Gluten Douches... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Handy Rudgins... RIGHT!!

It Ertz when Eifert (3-2) v No Time for Love (3-2)

It almost happened, Ertz when Eifert almost pulled another win out at the end. No Time for Love had no other options as players from the Packers did not play or struggled mightily - it was Monday Night Football. Aaron Jones did not play and Jayden Reed might as well have not played. If it wasn't for the defense and the kicker - No Time for Love would be wondering how they let this one got away from them. Ertz got a huge week from Kittle and it looks like McLaughlin has really carved out a role for himself in Denver.

Prediction: No Time for Love.... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: No Time for Love... RIGHT!!

Aaron Rodger Blows Llams* (4-1) v Njigbas in Paris (3-2)

You know what puts a target on your back? Beating the hottest team in the league and winning the belt in doing so. Moore got things going in the TNF and then Moss (Zach not Randy) kept it going. It was a big win and makes them the team to beat moving forward. This team will need to monitor the Moss/Taylor debacle, as well as monitor Jefferson and see how his injury is handled in Minnesota. Njigbas is now a team that finds themselves in the middle of the pack - but the top of the middle. On the bright side, Goedert finally had a good week - which could be valuable moving forward.

Prediction: Njigbas in Paris... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Njigbas in Paris.... WRONG!!

Ankle Holster (2-3) v I miss Tom Brady (3-2)

I mean talk about a very underwhelming matchup. The Jets finally realized where they most prolific offensive weapon is... and the entire fantasy and gambling community should take note: Play/Bet on offenses going against Denver. This is now 3 straight weeks Denver has given up 100+ rushing yards and a touchdown to opposing running backs... Pacheco is up next. On the flip side, just not the week for TB12. Everyone was on the bottom half of their average (written before MNF) and something needs to be done!

*I will tip the cap and give credit where credit is due.... Ankle Holster not only called the win, they also called Breece Hall having a huge game - maybe he was already thinking about the Denver defensive woes!

Prediction: I miss Tom Bray... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!

The J-Bones** (3-2) v I Hate Chad G (3-2)

I mean it is really feast of famine for The J-Bones. Their team average when they win... 140 points and their magic number is 137 - they have never lost scoring this many points, and they have also never scored less than this and won. On the flip side, they average 88 points when they lose. Some would say, "You will score less when you lose and more when you win, this is a dumb stat." That is where I will bet/raise you good sir.... let's take the team they just lost to. Team Hatred averages 76.7 points when they lose and 117 points when they win. A difference of 40 points... The J-Bones difference is 52 points.

Prediction: I Hate Chad G... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... WRONG!!

PEN15 Wrinkle (4-1) v Insert Team Name Here (1-4)

Achane: 21.5 points

Mostert: 15.8 points

It came down to what I said it would come down to (not really, but it did work out that way). I won't say it was because of the Saints defense scoring 22 points and being Wrinkle's leading scorer. I won't say it was because Hunter Henry and Devanta Smith combined for 1.6 points. I will just say it was because Achane outscored Mostert.

Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... RIGHT!!

Hoosier Daddy (1-4) v East/West TD's (4-1)

We are now approaching the point in the season when it is the "have's" and the "have's nots." Titties has the goods... CMC only scored 13.8 points and they stilll scored 137 points - hey league, that should be a scary thought. East/West TD's is currently my top team to beat. On the flip side, Fields had the week of his career - well, DJ Moore did and it benefitted Fields - and the whole time he was on the bench. Instead, Richardson got hurt and finished with 4.4 points. Luckily though, there are still 6 teams with 2 or less wins and everybody can still make a run.

Prediction: East/West TD's... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: East/West TD's... RIGHT!!

With Love

Commish

Season: 13-22

Mystery Guest: 20-15

GD Top RB: 89.3 (K Williams)

AH Top RB: 63.2 (J. Cook)