Annnnnddd we are off and running... week 1 is in the books and I am ready to get things rolling. Having football back really shortens the week up - there is a game on Monday nights and you look forward to Thursdays - who doesn't love that? This week the NFL broadened their reach and had a game played in Brazil. I don't know about you, but I am completely fine going to Brazil.... give me a nice mamacita over a London swine any day.
I mean sure, London sounds great - but that is just for those that have never been there. It is dirtier than normal and the female persuasion is not overly beholding to the eye. On the flip side, have you ever seen pictures of Carnaval?? Do yourself a favor, turn-off the wifi and google "Carnaval Females" - you will thank me later.
To be honest, I was at a viewing/funeral/burial all week and it has been tough to find time to write this. The shame is Chaz's theory does not apply to anyone directly in the family of the lost one - guess I am rocking the hand for the rest of the week. By the time the Thursday night game rolls around, I might not even be able to deal the cards everything will be cramped up!
Matchup of the Week
Heat Hicks v J-Bones
This was a rough go for the Heat Hicks... there may be some activity on the trade block in the early stages of the season for the squad munching on a bag o' dicks. On the flip side, The J-Bones received a huge boost from Mr. Kupp... possibly the greatest white receiver to play the game?
In the battle of the receivers, Kupp/Brown/Waddle showcased that they are big-time players. Not only did the beat the Heat Hicks receivers, they nearly outscore the positional players for the Heat Hicks. It is early, but if The J-Bones can get that kind of output from the receivers, they will be a team to beat in this league.
Prediction: Heat Hicks... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones.... RIGHT!!
Cleveland Streamers v The J-Bones II
Which Cleveland performance was worse - Browns or Streamers? Neither performance was really pretty. One team had decent QB play... it wasn't the Browns. One team had decent WR play... it wasn't the Browns. After that, a lot of similarities - to be fair the Cowboys played quite well.... much like the 2.0's.
In the QB battle, AR17 won the fantasy format - Stroud won the NFL matchup. However, it ended up not really mattering when the RB trio for 2.0 (Barkley/Pacheco/Kamara) end up scoring 71 points on their own. A very solid performance for a team looking to send a message.
Prediction: The J-Bones 2.0... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones 2.0... RIGHT!!
Pendulous TD's v PEN15 Wrinkle
Just think about this, with just MNF to go - Wrinkle scored 29.1 points... WOOF. Some might say, "Yeah, but he probably has a bunch of 49ers players." He didn't have CMC.... turns-out it didn't matter. CMC was a surprise inactive and Jordan Mason filled the spot fantastically. It just wasn't enough for Wrinkle... which might be a normal weekly outcome. Wrinkle needs to do something or they might be the fastest eliminated team in league history.
On the flip side, Pendulous should be fine... only not breaking the 100 point mark because the late inactive of the CMC. Will he stick with Joey B or rock with Goff - neither looked amazing in terms of fantasy productive. The QB position is another one of those positions where you need a scrambling QB and if not, good luck (trust me, I know)!
Prediction: Pendulous TD's... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Pendulous TD's.... RIGHT!!
Bootay Pirates v ARBL
Rumor has it, Tyreek is fast - running or driving. You guessed it - that ni**a is speeding to the game, during the game, and most likely after the game. Even the cuffs couldn't keep Hill from breaking the 20 point benchmark. It also helped that the Bears defense decided to score 26 points as well... not sure Mr. Fingernails can keep counting on that outcome every week.
Let's just call it what it is... when can you ever expect to score 47 combined points?!?!? You can't... but when it happens, you look up - say "Thank-you" and move on to the next week.
Prediction: ARBL... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Bootay Pirates... WRONG!!
Cocaine Cowboys v Ankle Holster
To be truthful, I want to sit here and praise Ankle Holster for winning the belt... F*CK DAT GUY!!! He prematurely sent out a text thrusting the Pete Webber "suck-it" sign to all of us. Every league needs a good villain and I present everyone with Ankle Holster. It is tough to find a weak spot on the roster and this was the perfect storm for Ankle to just start his origin story.
On the flip side, Cocaine Cowboys just got beat by the luck of the draw. They would have beaten 9 teams this week... unfortunate. It is very easy to pick out the weak spot for them... TE - but if you don't have a top guy, you are essentially flipping a coin anyways. I am just not sure I would flip the coin on a weekly basis with with Mr. Johnny Cundt.
Prediction: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... RIGHT!!
Connor's Stalions v Brotherly Love
The new weekly game is going to be if Jayden Daniels really is the Lamar Jackson 2.0. I feel like every rookie QB that runs around like he does gets hurt by week 4... I am not wish ill-will on anyone, but I am definitely not knocking on wood. It was just a steady performance for the sign stealers and this probably needed to be a week that Brotherly Love won, because it could get rough in the next few weeks.
Love is out for 3-8 weeks, his backup is Stafford. One might think, that is not terrible - but he just lost one his top guys for a good amount of time. All you really need to do to stop Stafford is double team a white guy on the outside. Surprisingly, Brotherly Love beats two other teams in this league this week... the team that I think is the worst team in the league and....
Prediction: Connor Stalions... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Brotherly Love... WRONG!!
MAYEday v Ertz when Eifert
MAYEday. Wowza, they would have lost to every team in the league this week and they lose Puka for the time being. Things could not get much worse for MAYEday.. maybe something will look different in the future?
For Ertz they get the luck of the draw, but Joe Mixon looks like a bright spot for them. Will he hold up? Murray looks like his old self; running around, not know where his star receiver is, playing backyard football. Ertz has one weakness... bench depth - will this team hold up in the long grind of the season?
Prediction: MAYEday... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: MAYEday... WRONG!!
With Love
Commish
Predictions: 5-2
Mystery Guest: 4-3
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