1. Wings of Dickarus - 100%
- One win away from essentially clinching the top seed
- Roughly 400 points away from top most point scored in one season
- X factor: David Johnson - will he play or not?
2. Dixie Normous - 100%
- Clinched playoff spot this past week
- Fighting for the top seed, but needs help
- X factor: Decision making on who to start
3. PEN15 Wrinkle - 97%
- Should be in, but I am too lazy to figure out if they have clinched based upon matchups
- Fighting for the 2nd seed (winner of Reverse Cowgirl division)
- X factor: 49ers schedule, 5 players on the 49ers roster
4. Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas - 95%
- Should be in, but I am too lazy to figure out if they have clinched based upon remaining matchups
- Focused on a side bet and locking up the playoffs
- X factor: Remaining schedule - Hoosier Daddy and Ankle Holster, both teams in the running
5. Florida State Seminal Vesicle - 72%
- Needs to win to clinch, but may not clinch a spot until the final week has ended
- This week's matchup is against big brother: contract matchup
- X factor: FSSV has the 2nd highest point total, should help for tie-breakers
6. Massive TD's - 68%
- Hottest team in the league - 3 straight wins
- Destiny is in their own hands
- X factor: Running back production: Jones and Jacobs need to continue having good weeks
7. Biggus Dickus: 65%
- Coldest team in the league - 3 straight loss
- Carson and Lindsay have rough matchups in week 11
- X factor: Kupp needs to get back to his winning ways
8. Hoosier Daddy: 62%
- Most talented team on paper
- Tough remaining schedule: ARBL and Dixie Normous
- X factor: OBJ playing OBJ from previous years (currently 28th ranked WR)
9. Hernandez Hit Men: 60%
- Winner of 2 straight, 3rd longest active win streak
- Needs to survive this bye week, missing 5 players on the bye
- X factor: The J-Bones this week and then a potential playoff determining matchup against Biggus
10. Ankle Holster: 48%
- Barkley is back and coming off a bye week
- Mack is essentially done for the fantasy football season
- X factor: Final week matchup against ARBL
11. The Back Hatch: 25%
- Dominoes fell perfectly last week, will need to happen again this week
- Mayfield and Hunt matchup against Miami this week
- X factor: Hardest remaining schedule - Dixie Normous and Wings of Dickarus
Everyone else... KEEP THE CHANGE YA FILTHY ANIMALS!
Matchup of the Week
Florida State Seminal Vesicle** (6-5) v Ankle Holster* (5-6)
A battle for the ages... young beauty versus old wisdom... english versus math... two legs versus one leg. The battle between the two brothers could not come at a better time. This is a contract determining matchup and also could very determine a playoff spot. It is going to be very important that Barkley has a big week, especially with the loss of Mack. Sanders and Hopkins could have huge weeks, and who does love a kicker named Young Hoe? On the flip side, Run CMC is going to do everything he can to help this team secure a victory - will someone else step up and help him? My magic 8-ball says.... "Doubtful"
Prediction: Ankle Holster wins
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster wins
Wings of Dickarus** (9-2) v Massive TD's* (6-5)
The smack talk began early Tuesday morning, as if the top team in the league needed bulletin board material...
"I need you to pick up a RB so I won't hear any excuses this week when I take down the #1 team....your reign is OVER B*&CH!!"
That was found written in blood on the driveway of Wings of Dickarus (by that, I mean an email). The big question is; who is going to have the needed big week to pick up the hole that is left with Cook on bye and Johnson in limbo? Massive TD's is rolling into town feeling really good, and they should with Lockett and Metcalf coming off a bye week - ironically Wilson is on the other side of this matchup. However, the running back situation is a struggle for Wings of Dickarus and they will be missing that production, which is why - I hate to say it....
Prediction: Massive TD's wins
Mystery Guest: Massive TD's wins
Biggus Dickus* (6-5) v Bluffton Backup Backups (2-9)
What do you need when your team is on a downward spiral and dangerously close to having the biggest collapse in league history? You thank your lucky stars you have Triple B this week. Kupp needs to find a way to become more prevalent in LA and then this squad looks a little more deadly. Winston has a very good matchup with Atlanta, which could result in a shootout. Nothing matters more than the fact that BBB has Allen and Gordon on the bye. Gordon has not been the same since the holdout; but Allen has been amazing for BBB. That is a lot of points to miss out on, especially for a team that has been known to "forget" to make changes to the lineup.
Prediction: Biggus Dickus wins
Mystery Guest: Biggus Dickus wins
...And Your Johnson (3-8) v PEN15 Wrinkle* (7-4)
Hey, guess what?!? We have a candidate for a team to find themselves in the all-time bottom five. Mahomes and Kelce are on a bye week and that leaves a big hole to fill. Props to Johnson though, they were the only team that is eliminated from the playoffs to win last week. However, that trend stops this week - Wrinkle is looking to try and secure the 2nd seed for the playoffs. This matchup could not come at a better time, especially when many of his players (49ers) are struggling with injuries.
Prediction: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle wins
Aaron Rodgers Blows Llamas* (7-4) v Hoosier Daddy* (5-6)
This is a huge matchup, and one that could make or break the future for one team. Hoosier Daddy needs to win this week and if there is one thing I know about Hoosier Daddy - they always perform with their backs against the wall. Chubb, Beckham, Lnadry, and the Browns DEF welcome Miami and should have a nice week. Waller matches up against the Jets and that fag kicker finds himself in a match-up that could see a lot of points being scored. I feel bad for ARBL - because this week, they are going against the soon to be belt winner...
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins, belt prediction
Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy wins, belt prediction
The J-Bones (3-8) v Hernandez Hit Men* (5-6)
To keep their playoff hopes alive, HHM need to win this week. Will The J-Bones rollover and take it? Is he gonna take that dick?
Yes, yes he is going to take that dick...
Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins
Mystery Guest: The J-Bones wins
Dixie Normous (8-3) v The Back Hatch (5-6)
The Back Hatch is another team that is on the outside, but continues to creep up and stay alive. Evans, Gallup, and MJ Jr. all have performed very well and give this team a fighting chance. Not to mention, it was about this time a few years ago that Mr. Gurley decided to have his best stretch of games - not a bad player to have on your roster. On the flip side, Dixie is trying to keep up pace and fight for the top seed. Jones and Sutton have played amazing, but what happens when Conner (Pitt) returns - does Samuels get lost? We have to wait and see, I do know that the overall depth of The Back Hatch (a nice deep back hatch) is going to prevail this week...
Prediction: The Back Hatch wins
Mystery Guest: Dixie Normous wins
Bless
No comments:
Post a Comment