Full transparency.... F*CK FANTASY FOOTBALL!! In every season, there is inevitably ups-and-downs throughout. Maybe your team has injuries, maybe you make a bad managerial, maybe you lose to a team you shouldn't - either way, there is usually a point in the season that you can at least have solace in. Maybe you made a good pick-up off the waiver wire, maybe you won in a week you shouldn't have won - either way, there is probably something you can point to and be happy about.
Not so much for The Cochness Monsters. Let's break down The Cochness Monster's first quarter of the season...
Week 1 - They lose the Matchup of the Week... panic sets-in
Week 2 - Made a trade, looked good on paper - lost this week, without the trade they win
Week 3 - Leave 30.9 and 21.3 points on the bench - lost again
Week 4 - Two worst teams battle it out, must win - lost.... left 30 points from a player on the bench and lost a crucial player to injury
To say that the downward spiral has set-in is an understatement... will The Cochness Monsters ever win a game? Doubtful. I will say though... there was one last rosterbation before everyone was put on the trading block. Send me some offers and let's get dealing!
Matchup of the Week
ETN out your Grandma* (2-2) v Gruden Email Editor (3-1)
The MotW was one of the matchups that just fall right into the middle of the pack - nothing outrageous and nothing interesting. It is like a Tuesday... just a pretty forgetful day of the week - the day you visit your mother-in-law. It ain't no Wednesday... Wednesday is THE NIGHT....
Prediction: ETN out your Grandma... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma... WRONG!!
Ayahuasca Dreamer (1-3) v The Cochness Monsters (0-4)
If the MotW was a Tuesday... this matchup was a Monday. It absolutely sucked - nothing went well for either of these teams. Looking at the final scoreboard actually pisses me off and it should piss you off as well - think about this... one of these teams was credited with a win. Doesn't that make you want to break something???
Mystery Guest: The Cochness Monsters.... WRONG!!
Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!
Hoosier Daddy?* (2-2) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-2)
OH. MY. GOODNESS. This was a crazy matchup, for one Llams is going to lose scoring that many points. That really sucks. Secondly, Hoosier scored 156 points and got 1.8 points from a starting running back. What could have been? Could have possibly been another belt for Hoosier Daddy - now what is going to keep your pants from falling down....
Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams... WRONG!!
Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!
The J-Bones (2-2) v OBJs in the Stands (2-2)
This was another good matchup - two high scoring teams and someone had to lose. What a shame, what a shame. The J-Bones lived up to the preseason hype and had a week that many thought would happen more often. OBJs quietly put together a good team score, but with not standouts. Sadly one has to win and one has to lose - not matter what though Dalton Shultz sucks. He might do better once Dak returns, but for now this ginger blows....
Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!
Bluffton Backup Backups (3-1) v PEN15 Wrinkle (1-3)
Remember when we all mocked BBB and said awful his team was? Who is laughing now?!?!? BBB is not 3-1 and in 2nd place of his division. PEN15 finds himself near the bottom of the league... a familiar place for this manager. Some managers are down there with him (myself included), but they are just guests in this man's hotel - who is running a business in the cellar of the league. Honestly, I was trying to think of a video to throw in for this matchup - but at this point I am so shocked at how consistently bad PEN15 is and how BBB keeps winning I can't think of anything, so I leave you with this....
Prediction: Bluffton Backup Backups... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: PEN15 Wrinkle... WRONG!!
Watson's Happy Ending* (4-0) v Ankle Holster (2-2)
This was the closest matchup of the week - and Happy Ending narrowly stays undefeated for the season. The question is: Will Happy Ending lose first or will The Cochness Monsters win first? Nobody knows. What we do know is that Ankle Holster has been reaping the benefits of the trade that was made with TCM. TCM would be 2-2 had they not made the trade, however - Ankle Holster now sits 2-2....
Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... RIGHT!!
Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!
Side Set TDs (2-2) v Not Big Red* (2-2)
Wow, now this was a matchup. Both teams scored a decent amount of points, neither of them really had any kind of superstar performance. Side Set enjoyed a good week from Russ and the 49ers defense, but no avail. NBR hoists the belt and didn't have a single player score more than 30 points - just a good overall team effort...
Prediction: Side Set TD's... WRONG!!
Mystery Guest: Side Set TD's... WRONG!!
Season Predictions: 16-12
Mystery Guest: 11-17
With Love
Commish
AJB = 71.4
D. Smith = 50.6
J. Williams = 42.... and now his is out for the season.... efffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFF
C. Akers = 19.6
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