Week 7 Results

Well, I am back in the midwest and let me tell you it sucks. To be honest, it isn't that bad - when I got back it was 75 degrees and sunny. I think I just strongly dislike all the responsibilities - adulting is terrible. Kids these days just don't know how good they got it. They have no responsibilities, no real consequences. They will try to disagree, but come on we all know the truth. They are protected - their parents take care of everything for them. I can only imagine what our generation would do with the amount of freedom these kids get. 

We. Would. F*cking. Slay.

Can you imagine what I would do if I had the power to be anything I wanted? I would make everyone call me King Adam the Mighty Sword Cock. Oh I can't do that? I most certainly can in this world. Oh you don't want to call me that? See you in court, where I will slay you with my Mighty Sword Cock. I will find some liberal judge to grant me the right and then it is game on. I just have to make sure I show up to the right party. I could either end up with the Wisconsin Volleyball or I could end with that piano penis playing he/she. As long as I show up to the right place, I am gooooooood.

All these kids need to do is focus on Fantasy Football - not me, I got real jobs and a family and what not. Doesn't matter, my team would still suck.

Matchup of the Week

Hoosier Daddy* (4-3) v Bluffton Backup Backups (4-3)

Well, Hoosier Daddy has officially stated that BBB is his son. Hoosier Daddy has never lost BBB is the history of the league (no clue if that is true, but it fits the narrative). Hoosier is a big fan of the CMC trade and that fact that it forces Moore to be a highlight of the offense for Carolina. On top of that, it was a consistent week for the entire lineup - not that it mattered this week. This is a week that BBB knew would come every so often - Indy looked terrible this week. It also didn't help that the surrounding players had a rough week as well. BBB still would have beaten one other team this week - so there is solace is that I guess.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy... RIGHT!!

Gruden Email Editor** (5-2) v The Cochness Monsters (2-5)

TCM finally has a decent week and what happens? They lose to the belt winner. However, it should have been worse - Editor had a player not even play. However, he also had Joe Burrow - who is really, really good at football. Kenneth Walker also looks really good in a Seattle offense that will be very run-heavy. On the flip side, TCM can take solace in the fact that Josh Jacobs has looked amazing and the trade has so far been very good for them.

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: The Cochness Monsters... WRONG!!

Not Big Red (3-4) v ETN out your Grandma* (3-4)

ETN just snuck this one out, in what is probably a must win week for them. Even though they didn't have a stellar week from anybody, they had enough consistency to eke out the win against NBR. NBR needed a bigger MNF from New England's kicker and defense and D. Harris - but they could only muster up 8 points as they got demolished by Chicago. Seriously, how do you have 3 spots going against Chicago and only get 8 points?!?! I would be embarrassed to be a Patriots fan - I would be even more embarrassed to be a Pats fan and be force to rely on them to score points in Fantasy Football... and have them both lose!

Prediction: Not Big Red... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: ETN out your Grandma... RIGHT!!

Side Set TDs (5-2) v Ankle Holster (2-5)

Titties might have that best pass catching tandem in the league. Adams or Chase are liable to go off at any point - this week Chase had a huge one. It also helped that Elliott was able to get into the end zone twice. Aaron Jones played well for Ankle - but that is about it. To make matters worse, Breece Hall is done for the season. Ankle find themselves in a tie for last place and they are now missing one of their best players. Will they look to make a move or will they just accept the future in the cellar of the league.

Prediction: Side Set TDs... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster... WRONG!!

Ayahuasca Dreamer (4-3) v OBJs in the Stands** (4-3)

This is the matchup this week that really surprised me. It helped that OBJ was missing Allen and Davis, but my goodness - how are you a two-time belt winner and you throw up that piece of sh*t week. To be fair, Dreamer didn't have that good of a week - but it doesn't matter when you play the worst team of the week. Just have a consistent week from multiple players and you will be fine. I would not like to play OBJs next week - when they get Allen and Davis back after their bye week. Could be ugly...

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands... WRONG!!

Watson's Happy Ending* (5-2) v PEN15 Wrinkle (2-5)

Wrinkle went from one of the worst teams to making a few trades and then all of the sudden they take down the top team in the league. It helped that Mahomes and Hardman teamed up to dominate the 49ers. Forget about the fact that Robinson had 0 and Uzomah had 1.5 points. Watson needed a bit of a better performance from Jackson and Andrews - especially because they beat the Cleveland Browns. How is your actual NFL team going to lose to your fantasy team and then you still go on to lose.... gotta be a rough week in football.

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending... WRONG!!

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending... WRONG!!

The J-Bones (4-3) v Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-5)

This is the kind of week The J-Bones envisioned at the beginning of the season. When everything comes together like this - they will be a hard team to beat. A huge week from Ekeler and solid weeks from a slew of surrounding players. ARBL will not join the pack at 2-5, the only shining spotlight was Titans defense. It is never a good sign with your defense is top scoring player, and yet somehow ARBL would have beaten 2 other teams this week.

Prediction: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones... RIGHT!!

Season Predictions: 27-22

Mystery Guest: 18-31

With Love

Commish

AJB = 95.3 points

D. Smith = 84.7 points

J. Williams = 42 points (out with injury)

C. Akers = 22.9 points (out for stealing grandma's pie)