Week 6 Predictions

We all have them; we love them - but my goodness can they just really irritate you. Sometimes they cause an itch or tick and you just want to get away from it, but there is no escaping. Sometimes it happens in the store, sometimes it happens at work, sometimes it even happens in the confines of you own home.

Now, as I write that I am curious as to where some of your minds think I might be going with this? Do you think I am going to talk about boners? Buttholes? Gay friends? Cocaine? A couple things of meth? Homeless people? Reusable condoms? Itchy belly buttons? Nah......

I am just talking about dumb people.

Every so often I find myself in a conversation with someone and I can immediately feel this sense of fear fall over me. I am scared that I if I continue to talk to this person, I will in fact become as dumb as they are. I used to feel good about myself - knowing I was not quite that retarded. However, now I feel worried - because I feel like everyone around me is getting dumber and dumber. Do you feel that way? Am I the retard that makes no sense? Possibly. When sh*t hits the fan, we might be as ignorant as possible. Right?

Anyways, I digress...

We got a nice slate of matchups this week and we definitely don't need to be wasting time talking about mouth breathers...

Matchup of the Week

Bluffton Backup Backups (4-1) v Watson's Happy Ending* (4-1)

This is a battle for the top of the league. Both teams are sitting at 4-1 and the winner will be the sole owner of 1st place in the league. How is this possible? Nobody on this green earth even knows. BBB has managed a 4-1 record and a chance at the first place all the while scoring the fewest amount of points in the first 5 weeks. Happy Ending is in 2nd place and was just taken over by OBJs last week. One team belongs at the top and one team only. Also, we start the bye weeks and the best part for Happy Ending - they have depth right where they need it. Kunt will fill nicely for King Henry and they won't skip a beat this week...

Prediction: Watson's Happy Ending

Mystery Guest: Watson's Happy Ending

Ankle Holster (2-3) v The Cochness Monsters (1-4)

I don't want to pull back the veil of mystery or anything, but this is obviously a match-up that is noteworthy. Ankle Holster is not doing to hot when it comes to picking matchups - but it is early. Does that trend carry over to his team for this matchup? You betcha. It does help that Josh Jacobs is on a bye-week and he has been on a tear for TCM (combining for 64.8 points in the past two weeks). However, no matter what things really look like in this matchup - we all know that we are picking our own teams to win...

Prediction: The Cochness Monsters

Mystery Guest: Ankle Holster

OBJs in the Stands* (3-2) v ETN out your Grandma* (2-3)

If there was team that looked very strong last week, it was OBJs. If there is one team that looks very strong this week, it is OBJs. The matchups are all falling in line for their starting lineup - even the defense is playing Pittsburgh - who doesn't exactly light it up on offense. On the flip side, Grandma's starting lineup is facing injuries throughout the week and there a few tough defenses that they will be facing (Dallas and Denver). I will take the team riding high with the belt - and they have a good chance at being our first 2-time belt champion this week...

Prediction: OBJs in the Stands

Mystery Guest: OBJs in the Stands

PEN15 Wrinkle (1-4) v Not Big Red (2-3)

Let's just call it what it is, PEN15 Wrinkle might be the worst team in the league. Given they have lost two starting running backs to the injured reserved. No team is really built to handle that - especially this team. They are going to need depth if they even want to survive through the stretch of bye weeks. This is a crucial week for them - they may have a chance at a win this week - but after that they will have N. Harris on bye in week 9 and the Mostert on bye in week 11. On the flip side, NBR just lost a close one to BBB - but they are welcomed with this gift...

***The previous paragraph was written before PEN15 was blown-up through multiple trades this week... my prediction stands as stated***

Prediction: Not Big Red

Mystery Guest: Not Big Red

Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams (2-3) v Gruden Email Editor (3-2)

After making the big trade - ARBL is patiently awaiting the return of Dak Prescott (2 more weeks), instead they will be forced to turn to the waiver wire to find someone that can fill the spot. They will be relying on Kupp and Chubb to continue their onslaught this season. On the flip side, Emails is going to need Waddle and Samuel to get back to filling up the boxscores if they are going to bounce back after last week. Singletary and Knox are apart of the game of the week and should be in line to score points as well. Look Emails to bounce back and get a big win this week...

Prediction: Gruden Email Editor

Mystery Guest: Aaron Rodgers Blows Llams

Hoosier Daddy* (3-2) v Side Set TD's (3-2)

One of two matchups this week that include two winning teams. This was option number 2 for the MotW, but one team is going to struggle this week because of bye weeks. Tiddies is missing Carr/Adams/Waller/Collins all on bye - 3 of which are major starters for the team. They are able to still produce a serviceable starting lineup, but this should be a nice week for Hoosier Daddy. Hurts, Jefferson, and Kelce should dominate this matchup and put them solidly in contention for the belt this week - can the role players hold up and help out? Either way, this matchup is looking like it is going to end one way...

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Mystery Guest: Hoosier Daddy

The J-Bones (3-2) v Ayahuasca Dreamer (2-3)

The J-Bones got back on track with their winning ways in the last two weeks and they are looking to make that a turkey this week. They will need to monitor the injury report with question marks for Barkley/London/Meyers. Those three, along with Ekeler, make a large portion of the points scored for this starting lineup. On the flip side, Dreamer is going to need a big week - something that might not be able to be achieved. Rodgers is going to have to look better than he did in London if they want a chance to win. To be honest, Dreamer just doesn't have the fire power to compete some of the top teams in this league - they are going to need to have an off week for The J-Bones.... and I don't see that happening.

Prediction: The J-Bones

Mystery Guest: The J-Bones

As always, good luck to everyone, except for you Ankle Holster - may your entire roster burn in a fiery helicopter crash eerily similar to the one that took down Kobe!

With Love

Commish