Week 3 Results

"Please avoid all main roads. Evacuate quickly."

This warning is blaring throughout all public radios. As Jim grabs his one suitcase and checks on his kids, hoping they are almost ready to leave, he notices a car on fire outside his living room window. Hoards of people are running down the middle of the road. A street lamp has fallen and lays across the middle of the road with another vehicle flipped upside down beside it. One of the people that were  running in the mob, turn and stare at Jim with possessed eyes. He takes a brick in his right arm and hurls towards the living room window. As the glass smashes and the mob shifts directions towards Jim's house, you get the sense that the entire city of Cleveland is going to burn throughout the night.

This is how I would imagine the city of Cleveland, Ohio would have looked if they were unable to pull out the victory on Thursday Night Football against the New York Jets. Luckily, Baker Mayfield stepped in and became the savior of Cleveland. It really does not matter if the Browns lose every game for the rest of the season - they got their victory!

Let's look at who else got a victory this week....

White Condomints (2-1) v Team Dez Nuts (2-1)

What you saw in the predictions post is probably far different than what you see now - and this is what happens when you place multiple owners of fantasy teams in the same room. Within minutes dozens of trades and counters are sent back and forth, until finally something and accepted. A trade between these two teams took place....

White Condomints Receives

Antonio Brown

Kareem Hunt

Harrison Butker

Mark Ingram

Dak Prescott

Team Dez Nuts Receives

Andrew Luck

JuJu Smith-Schuster

Chris Thompson

Ryan Succop

Rob Gronkowski

Many people may look at this trade and say it is super skewed (might even use the phrase "fleeces"). However, as of right now JuJu seems to be outperforming AB and Kareem Hunt has definitely dropped a few tiers. Rob Gronkowski is pretty much a receiver that can be placed at the tight end position - which is a huge advantage in fantasy football. The "x" factor of this trade is Mark Ingram and what happens with him when he returns. As for this week....

Result: Team Dez Nuts wins....WRONG

Competitor Prediction: Team Dez Nuts wins....WRONG

Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood (2-1) v M. McCarthy is Gay (0-3)

Yikes, every year we have a low scoring week for a team - but this? This is low. Lucky for Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood, they found themselves in a great matchup - they would have only beaten two total teams this week.

Adam Thielen is looking like a key piece in the Vikings offense, even in a rough offensive game for Minnesota - he still had a decent performance. However, everyone else dropped the ball for MMIG. This was a bad week for the Patriots offense - which means a bad week for Brady and Hogan. Also, did not work out well for Coleman and Hooper, even though they were in a shootout.

Mr. Rodger's had a solid performance from Barkley and Bernard - but after that? Nothing. However, like I said - luckily Mr. Rodger's was playing one of the two teams they would have beaten. Congrats - real happy for you!

Prediction: Mr. Rodger's wins.....RIGHT

Competitor Prediction: Mr Rodger's wins....RIGHT

The J-Bones (1-2) vs Steady Diet (3-0)

As I stated in the predictions post - Steady Diet always has a player with a big week. Alvin Kamara is looking like a player that could potentially get a win for a team all on his own.

Kamara nearly matched J-Bones top two scorers. The J-Bones had a very steady performance from most positions with the exception of Keenan Allen. Allen had a rough match-up in the Battle for Los Angeles. In all reality, The J-Bones is really waiting on the news of whether or not Pittsburgh decides to deal Le'Veon Bell. Even though Smallwood looked good - there is no denying the use of Bell and how automatically The J-Bones get much better. As for now, Steady Diet is one of the few teams that have the ability to consistently score 120 points or better.

Prediction: Steady Diet wins....RIGHT (and Tyreek Hill had a bust week - so I will take that $1)

Competitor Prediction: Steady Diet wins.....RIGHT

ImPickingARod @5SucItBob (0-3) vs Sagging TD's (1-2)

Sagging TD's will no longer remain defeated. We are still waiting for @5SucItBob, along with MMIG and Col. Erran Morad. Without Elliott scoring big points and Rodgers getting hurt - this could be a long year for @5SucItBob. Either wait till you play another defeated team or try and switch something up - don't say I didn't warn you!

Sagging TD's made a trade to get rid of Gronkowski and pick up a little more depth. Crowell had a good week, even if he did wipe his booty with a football and throw it into the stands. Watson - Gronk's replacement - looked good in his matchup, even outscoring Gronk. This is what happens when you make moves, players take notice and they play better. 

These NFL players are very concerned about our fantasy league - trust me, I call every single one of my players before their game and pump them up. I tell them that "They are the plug and that they need to sauce it up!"

Prediction: @5SucItBob...WRONG

Competitor's Prediction: @5SucItBob....WRONG

Prible is my B**ch (1-2) vs Robert 3-Woods (2-1)

As the Tampa Bay Buccaneers started to make their comeback this week against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Robert 3-Woods started to make their comeback. And just as the Buccaneers fell short, so did 3-Woods.

It is a shame 3-Woods could not get any points out their running backs. The only player those two combined to beat on PIMP is Engram - and he got hurt! It will be interesting to see what happens in Tampa with Winston coming back and what they decide to do with their QB situation. However, with strong performances from Fuller, Ertz, Adam, and Howard - 3-Woods just needs to find points from running backs.

PIMB had big performances from Watson and Peterson - as well steady performances from everyone else. I can only imagine what the score would have looked like if J. Jones would have gotten a few of those touchdown looks. Everyone leading up to this week said Latavius Murray was supposed to put up big points. Guess not?

Prediction: PIMB wins...RIGHT

Competitor Prediction: 3-Woods wins...WRONG

Hoosier Daddy (2-1) vs Col. Erran Morad (0-3)

Todd Gurley and Mike Evans scored over half of Col. Erran's entire score. That is a good start.

Hoosier Daddy just needs a few more players to step up and consistently score in the double digits and they will be able to contend with other teams not names Col. Erran Morad. Rashad Penny might not be the answer at running back, maybe play Tavon Austin or Rex Burkhead - maybe play anybody on the waiver wire - maybe Penny Hardaway - just don't play Rashad Penny!

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT

Competitor's Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins... RIGHT

Matchup of the Week

Hernandez Hit Men (3-0) vs I AM STUPID (2-1)

First off, pretty ballsy of Hernandez Hit Men to play Landry and Hyde in the Thursday Night Game. He has to be hoping that Baker Mayfield can keep up his stellar play. Other than that, he can heavily lean on his RB tandem - McCaffrey and Gordon. 

Goff did win his position - but what could have been if STUPID would have left Matt Ryan in the starting lineup. Yikes, this would have been a lot closer. David Johnson also looked much better in this matchup - you can tell Arizona is at least making an effort to get DJ the ball more often. Still, there are very few teams that are going to be able to compete with McCaffrey and Gordon in the running back department.

Tate and Landry surprisingly won the battle of wide receivers. Nobody, and I mean nobody, expected the outcome of the Minnesota v Buffalo game. What is the world happened? If it were me, I would bet heavily on the Vikings in their next game - this has to be a fluke. More than likely they will be getting points and they are a tough team that should compete for the NFC championship. That fluke loss also meant that Bailey was going to be missing for the scorecard. Never a good recipe when you have two players that were apart of a beatdown - and they were not on the winning side!

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men win....RIGHT

Competitor Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men win...RIGHT

Overal Record: 9-5

Competitor Record: 7-7

Mwah

Week 3 - Feels Great

Current Song of choice: Feels Great by Cheat Codes
****Don't play song during class or around children, does contain a naughty word****

Just the kind of vibe I got going right now. To be fair I could have linked a video that featured the clean version, but sometimes it just feels good to say, "It feels great, motha**ka!" I just gets your blood flowing your adrenaline going. I can only imagine a locker room of 50 juiced up, happy-pilled, 250 pound men jumping around dancing to this song. One lineman jumps on the table, his towel looks like loin cloth trying to hide an anaconda. Then all of the sudden the table breaks. Everyone pauses, he jumps back up and yells....

"IT FEELS GREAT, MOTHAF**KA!!"

You know that locker room is going wild. This could be the exact scene on Thursday night - when the Browns storm into the locker room after finally clinching their first win in 2 years. We are pulling for you Cleveland - well, except for God. God still hates you!

Anyways, I digress - on to the predictions....

Team Dez Nuts (2-0) v White Condomints (1-1)

****Jump down to after the trade****

This is going to be a match-up worth watching. These two team recently made a trade, one that resembles most trades - sending a stud for multiple role players. 

Dez Nuts comes into this week 2-0, but has scored less than White Condomints. Does that matter? Not at this point. Fantasy Football is all about the here and now. Does it matter that Kareem Hunt was traded from WC to Dez Nuts? Not at this point. Will Hunt and Ekeler outscore Thompson and Crowell? Nah gee. Thompson has the chance to catch eight or nine balls again this week - with the possibility of the Redskins being down in the second half.

However, Antonio Brown finds himself in a shootout friendly match-up. Will Brown be held out of the end zone two week in row? Doubtful. I predict that Brown has a big game this week - scoring well into the 30's. That might just enough to push Dez Nuts over the top....

****After the trade****

Yet again White Condomints swings another trade midway through the predictions post. What a jacka**! This time he had to give up Crowell and Golladay in return for Gronkowski. Did it really help him out that much? Time will tell. He does already have Dissly and Kittle on his roster - but Gronk is in a league all on his own. WC is banking that Gronk and Brady can get on the same page this week - especially since Gronk will be in the flex position.

Prediction: Team Dez Nuts wins

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (1-1) v Mike McCarthy is Gay (0-2)

This is a must-win for MMIG. His team is desperately needing a boost - or trade, or switch-up, or maybe just a good playing "Feels Great." I am just saying, anything will help at this point.

To MMIG's defense, Shady McCoy is dealing with some fractured ribs. Plus, in week one he only lost by .7 points - talk about a heartache! On the flip side, Mr. Rodger's is dealing with a few injuries himself. Joe Mixon will be sidelined for a while - but being the Fantasy Football savant that he is, he also had Bernard ready to throw in his place. 

Normally, I would be really weary of starting T.Y. Hilton - but this year the Eagles defense has been anything but intimidating. I guarantee, that if I asked - at the beginning of the season -  who be leading the NFL in rushing after week 2? Nobody would say Matt Breida. Well, looky there he is!!

Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins

The J-Bones (1-1) v Steady Diet (2-0)

One of these teams is a top team in the league, and one of these teams is on a downward trend - you pick which is which?

It is never good, when you feel like starting a player who is a back-up and coming off an injury - it is probably not a good thing for your lineup. I also am not a huge fan of anybody in the Arizona offense - especially the tight end.

On the flip side, it seems like there is always someone on Steady Diet's team that has a big week. Yes, it is only week two - but when you have a team full of big play playmakers - someone is bound to have a good week.

Prediction: Steady Diet wins, but Tyreek has a bust a week

ImPickingARod @5SucItBob (0-2) v Sagging TD's (0-2)

****Jump to after the trade****

This was the runner-up candidate for Match-up of the Week, not because both teams are looking outstanding - but because this is a must-win for both teams. 

It is never good to start the season 0-3, it will be a giant uphill battle throughout the season - especially considering bye weeks have not even started. Luckily one team is averaging 15 points more per week - however, that team is facing a possibly automatic forfeit. @5SucItBob has a lineup featuring Elliott, Rivers, and Cooper - all were expected to have a good fantasy year. The only problem? They haven't quite hit the expectations. Luckily for them, Sagging TD's is struggling in multiple departments of his lineup. Outside of the tight end position - this entire lineup could use an overhaul. I am going to say it - Sagging TD's might be the Cleveland Browns of our Fantasy Football league - just pick any team that is playing them....

****After the trade****

Well, well, well - here are again. Just like the Browns made a splash worthy trade - so did Sagging TD's. It is almost like he reads these blogs as I type them. He did have to trade away Gronkowski, but in return he gets Crowell and Golladay - both will immediately fill starting roles. These two add much more depth to the lineup. Unfortunately, I think the outcome will still be the same this week - just too many opportunities for @5SucItBob to have big weeks.

Prediction: ImPickingARod @5SucItBob wins

Prible is my B**ch (0-2) v Robert 3-Woods (2-0)

This is a matchup between an undefeated team and a winless team. If this was an actual NFL game - this would be the definition of a trap game.

PIMB has a great quarterback and good wide receivers. I would not be surprised if PIMB makes a move to try and flip one of his receivers into an improvement at running back - clearly Freeman is not the best back in Denver. PIMB has the opportunity to try and shake things up, he has a few pieces that could easily get value in return. If he does stay with this current lineup - a usual for PIMB - then at least he is matched up against the of the weaker of the undefeated teams.

3-Woods has jumped on board the "FitzMagic" train. As long as he continues this hot streak, why not start him? Especially considering Fitzpatrick finds himself in a shootout friendly matchup this week. Unfortunately, this is the only position of strength for 3-Woods. Ajayi would be a huge position of strength, if he wasn't come off an injury. Adams will have a good game - as long as Aaron Rodgers continues to stay upright. Every single Packers' fans holds there breath every single time Rodgers is brought to the ground. My guess? Adams and Fitzpatrick shine, but can't carry the team by themselves....

Prediction: Prible is my B**ch wins

Hoosier Daddy (1-1) v Col. Erran Morad (0-2)

Listen, it comes down to this - is Todd Gurley still playing football? Yes. Does Hoosier Daddy still have him in his lineup? Yes.

Nuff' said.

Prediction: Hoosier Daddy wins

Matchup of the Week

Hernandez Hit Men (2-0) v I AM STUPID (2-0)

We have a battle of two unbeaten teams. A battle of two of the top three scoring teams. A battle of running backs versus wide receivers. Let's break it down....

QB: Mahomes vs Ryan

Mahomes has been playing lights out! Nobody in their right mind would pick against him at this point, but there will be a downfall sometime. Nobody can keep up this pace of play for the entire season. Is this week? Probably not. Mahomes gets the edge.

RB: McCaffrey/Gordon vs Johnson/Barber

The best running back tandem in Bluffton Bombshells has to be McCaffrey/Gordon. Gordon is a bonafide stud - who is going to touch the ball consistently in the high 20's. McCaffrey is virtually the only option in Carolina not named Newton - yes, if Cam Newton could catch passes I am sure he would try. Johnson has yet to really have his arrival this season - I really don't think it is going to come against the Bears defense. Clear advantage to McCaffrey/Gordon.

WR: Tate/Landry vs Thomas/Diggs

Thomas and Diggs are decent, average, mediocre. I mean who wants to have the top wide receiver and the fourth overall wide receiver. Psssshhhhhhhhhh - just decent. On the other side, no one is happier about the Josh Gordon trade than Jarvis Landry. Ideally, his target share will go up - hopefully matching his compadre Tate, who is among the league leaders in targets. As much I really hate to do this, the edge does go Thomas/Diggs (they just decent, mediocre at best)

TE: Ebron vs Rudolph

The tight end position is such a coin flip from week to week. Even the great Gronkowski only scored 3.5 points last week. Honestly, flip a coin and go with that.

FLEX: Hyde vs Sanders

The edge has to go to Sanders. This is a PPR league and Hyde is not the passing running back in his committee. Sanders is practically WR1 on his team, and he will be getting plenty of targets. Will this a landslide advantage? Probably not - but Hyde plays on Thursday against the current number one defense, not in his best interest. Advantage goes to Sanders.

DEF/K: Broncos/Vinatieri v Dolphins/Parkey

Kickers are stupid in terms of fantasy football. Broncos have the better defense, but the tougher matchup. Baltimore has had extra time to prepare for this game. I still think this is a coin flip, better defense, tougher matchup or average defense, average matchup - take your pick!

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins, thanks to the running backs

Mwah

Week 2 Rizzzults

What a week for NFL kickers? Huh, yeah - let's hear it for them - HIP HIP.....

Crickets

There were 19 missed attempts (field goals or extra points). I can not believe there is a world where your sole job is do one thing - and when it finally comes time to do it, you miss. I get if you mess up once, maybe twice (maybe). I get if you miss a kick that is out of your range and you just have to swing as hard as you can to get it there. I get it if your kick is blocked.

But, how - how on God's green earth - do you miss an extra point? THAT IS YOUR ONLY JOB. Then I can't imagine showing up to practice the next day - that would take a lot of nerve. No wonder kickers get a bad rep in the NFL.

With all these blown opportunities - we still have a team that hasn't won since before Christmas of 2016. We have two ties in two weeks. We also have another week of fantasy football results....

White Condomints (1-1) v The J-Bones (1-1)

Well, it turns out the DDA struggled to pinpoint White Condomints' "question mark." It was more of a struggle for The J-Bones than anything else...

JuJu Smith-Schuster had himself a day. JuJu had 13 receptions, 121 yards and touchdown. This will not be the normal stat line for JuJu - but with A. Brown drawing double coverage every time - JuJu could have a big year. He is quickly vaulting himself into the "must start" territory. It also helped that Chris Thompson made a killing in garbage time against the Indianapolis Colts. He continued to catch dump-off after dump-off - totaling 13 receptions and rushing for 1 yard. That might be my favorite stat line of the week. Thompson scored 22.3 points as a running back and only rushed for 1 yard.

On the flip side - The J-Bones are going to need more productive out of the supporting cast. If your kicker is going to outscore 3 other positions, you might be in trouble - especially during this week.

Prediction: White Condomints.... RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: The J-Bones

Sagging TD's (0-2) vs Steady Diet (2-0)

One team has solidified their position near the top, the other......ehhhhhhh - changes should be happening soon.

It has been two weeks and each week Steady Diet has had a player rush/receive at least three touchdowns. Who would have thought that A.J. Green would have exploded like that during a Thursday night game and against a fairly tough Baltimore defense. Yet again, DeSean Jackson find himself on the bench and yet again, D-Jax had a great game. That is just how stacked Steady Diet's team is at the moment. Clearly, this is the team that has solidified itself as one of the team's to beat, the other......

Sagging TD's is going to need to make some changes. His receivers look a little outmatched week-in and week-out. Not to mention, Henry and Cook, the running backs are both in timeshare. If it were me, I would try and make some moves this week. Clearly, this line-up is not working.

Prediction: Steady Diet wins....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Steady Diet

Robert 3-Woods (2-0) v Mike McCarthy is Gay (0-2)

In a week where you had to score at least 129 to win - MMIG was just outmatched and outgunned. All I can say is, defense and kickers actually matter....

Rams/Gould = 25
Patriots/Zuerlein = -2
Difference = 27 points

Robert 3-Woods = 132.5
MMIG = 113.3
Difference = 19.2

Whoops! Hey at least Thielen and Hogan had good games. Don't worry little buddy - it is not one of your top picks is struggling with broken ribs or anything..... oh wait!

Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins....WRONG
Competitor Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay

Col. Erran Morad (0-2) vs Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (1-1)

This was a needed win for Mr. Rodgers, and it only digs Col. Morad into a deeper hole. However, there is a cost to picking the win this week. That cost? Joe Mixon.

Mixon will be out for the next 3-4 weeks, luckily Mr. Rodgers does have Gio Bernard on his bench. Talk about an owner who is on top of the game - grabbing the handcuff to play that has dealt with injuries. Not to mention, the Bengals offense actually looks decent. Keep in mind, we have seen this before - the last time they got off the best start in franchise history? 2015. Their running back that year? Bernard. Coincidence? I guess we will find out.

Col. Morad has a few (a lot) of decisions to think about. Howard, Burkhead, Thomas, Cook, Stills, Boswell - all failed to score ten or more points. If it wasn't for Roethlisberger being involved in a shootout, this could have been extremely embarrassing the Colonel. I expect some trades to be coming soon, if not you can fully expect me to pick whoever Mr. Morad is facing. Col. Morad is turning into the Cleveland Browns - just pick whoever they are playing, some how both teams will find a way to lose!

Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins.....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood

I AM STUPID (2-0) vs ImPickingARod @5SucitBob (0-2)

It has to be brutal scoring 126 points and losing, but to be fair - that point total would have lost to every other winner as well. So first, let me applaud our league, a score of 126 points would have lost to every winner - that says something about the competitiveness of our league.

Let's just jump right to it... I AM STUPID's wide receivers are decent. They had a decent week. If I were him I would package one of these players with the likes of David Johnson and see if I couldn't land a stud running back. As it stands right now, Johnson and the Arizona offense are missing Bruce Arians - and he ain't coming back. If you think that it is going to turn around, this is the more than likely going to happen, then you hold on to your receivers and hope they can continue to get lucky - cuz they are only decent.... at best.

As for @5, don't worry little buddy - you will get one in the win column sometime. Have faith!

Prediction: ImPickingARod @5SucitBob......WRONG
Competitor Prediction: I AM STUPID

Team Dez Nuts (2-0) vs Prible is my B**ch (0-2)

Here's hoping that these two actually made the bet about the team names. If so, I would like to take the time to list a few possible new team names for our loser.....

1. Prible is my Daddy
2. I am lost without Jake
3. Comeback Leah
4. Why do I try?
5. Prible Performance (actually, he probably doesn't want his name associated with this team)

Anyways, the new look Dez Nuts had fairly good performance with Kelce leading the way. All of the skilled positions scored in the teens, which is going to be tough to beat from week to week. Although, I am not sure Dez Nuts can consistently count on Ekeler, Collins, and Cooks to continually perform like they did this week. But hey, enjoy it while you can!

For (insert new team here),  we should be looking at making some changes to this line-up as well. It is not good, if you can not even break 90 points. I would look at the running back position - both of those players are on the wrong side of a committee. You could easily trade one of your wide-outs and upgrade the running back spot while still receiving a decent receiver in return - just my thoughts!

Prediction: (Insert new team name) wins..... WRONG!!
Competitor prediction: (Insert new team name)

Matchup of the Week

Hernandez Hit Men (2-0) vs Hoosier Daddy (1-1)

Just flop it out.

We get it,  we get it. You have good running backs - but d*mn - why did you have do Hoosier Daddy like that? It is a shame that you going to have to forfeit this win. I mean I don't know about you, but I usually pay all my league dues before the season starts - but that is just me.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men wins.....RIGHT
Competitor Prediction: Hoosier Daddy

Don't worry, you are not the only one Hernandez, your counterpart also has not paid. Hmmm - well, now what do we do? We have one team that is averaging 150 points a week and one team that has the best running back in the league, neither has paid their league dues? I mean....

So, let it be known, the following four teams are on notice - pay your league dues prior to the following week or face an automatic forfeit....

Hernandez Hit Men
Hoosier Daddy
ImPicingARod @5SucitBob
Sagging TD's

Mwah

Prediction Record: 4-3
Competitor Record: 3-4

Week 2.... Here we GO!!

Alright, here we go - Week two baby! Week one is in the book and we are going to see which fantasy owners over react to what happened in week one. Don't get me wrong, there are a few players on the waiver that might be worth a look - but you don't want to sacrifice what you already for what is new and fresh. Remember, there is a reason these players weren't drafted.

Let's just skip some of the pleasantries and jump straight to the matchups and predictions....

White Condomints (0-1) vs The J-Bones (1-0)

***Jump down to the aftermath of the trade****

We have pretty good match-up here, and I look forward to seeing if the hype is real with James Conner!

In week one, The J-Bones pulled off the steal of the season (thus far, it is only week 2) and made a trade for James Conner. Anybody, who is anybody, knows that Pittsburgh loves getting the ball to their backfield playmakers (no matter who that may be). There is a good chance that Conner leads this team in points once again this week.

On the flip side, don't expect Kareem Hunt to have another bummer this week. Indianapolis managed 75 rushing yards and 10 receptions from their backfield - which features Hines and Wilkins - against the Cincinnati Bengals. Trust me when I say this, Andy Reid will find a way to take advantage of this and will not be outdone by the likes of Indianapolis! Look for White Condomints and Hunt and Hopkins to bounce back this week and chalk one up in the win column...

****The Trade****
White Condomints Trades:
Kareem Hunt
Austin Ekeler
Jags Def

White Condomints Receives:
Isaiah Crowell
Chris Thompson
George Kittle

The new look lineup for the White Condomints is against the "norm" for most successful fantasy football teams. Most successful fantasy teams need to have studs - they need big point scorers. White Condomints traded away his stud in the stable (Hunt) for a couple of young foals (Thompson and Crowell). He also managed to acquire a Kittle - who could get a lot of looks - and is going to need to. However, Condomints needed to give up one of the top defenses in order to acquire Kittle. Is this trade helpful or hurtful? This week it is....

Prediction: White Condomints wins

Sagging TD's (0-1) vs Steady Diet (1-0)

I have no words for the beat down that Steady Diet provided last week. If you follow along with the blog, then you know full well how watching football last Sunday felt for the owner of White Condomints - utter embarrassment!

The biggest question for Steady Diet this week has to be whether he decides to start DeSean Jackson. Jackson had a huge opener to the NFL season, but he also suffered a concussion for his hard work. A.J. Green has an unfriendly matchup with Baltimore - but he is healthy. Does Steady Diet mess with a good thing, or do we see how long he can ride this train to paradise?

Sagging TD's know something about being the top team after week one: Last season he was the top point scorer in weeks one and three, but failed to break 100 points in week two. However, this is a different team this year. The three studs that anchor this team: Brees, Gronk, and Cook. Brees and Cook have favorable matchups - Gronk has tougher matchup, but it may work in his favor. Patriots play the Jaguars - who are loaded on the defensive side of the ball. Jags have terrific corners and a great front four, which leaves space for someone like Gronk to work in the middle. Unfortunately, it just won't be enough...

Prediction: Steady Diet sticks with what is working and brings home win number two

Robert 3-Woods (1-0) vs Mike McCarthy is Gay (0-1)

Robert 3-Woods better thank his lucky stars for week one. He would have managed to beat only three other teams that week - one of them he happen to be playing. SOOOOO F**KIN' HAPPY FOR YOU!! Not only that, but MMIG is also one of those teams - talk a start to the fantasy football season. Are you a college football team? Is this your cupcake schedule getting you ready for conference play?

If this is Bobby 3-Woods cupcake schedule, he will not like the FCS school he lined up for this week. Brady is going to have a good game. He needs to have a good game if the Patriots want a chance to beat the Jags and that touted defense. Last time they played? Brady threw for almost 300 yards and two touchdowns. Not to mention, Drake had to contend with mother nature. Not this time (hopefully)! Is this going to be another Appalachian State upset? I think so....

Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins

Col. Erran Morad (0-1) vs Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood (0-1)

This is our only battle of two teams that failed to get a win in week one. It doesn't help that both teams have an injury that essentially knocked out a key player during the game.

Fournette was forced out of his week one matchup with a hamstring injury. He is still questionable to play - but there is really no other real option for Morad (unless he tries to swing a trade). Roethlisberger is questionable, but really the only question for Big Ben is how bad he looked in week one. He looked slow, old and if he didn't have Brown to throw to - he may not even be drafted by most teams.

For Rodgers Neighborhood, Goodwin - who was Jimmy G's favored target - is dealing with an injury, listed as a deep thigh bruise. This may hurt the speedster's ability to create separation. Barkley looked good during his 68-yard touchdown scamper - but he was mediocre other than that. Will he be able to rip-off another big play this week? Not only is Rodgers Neighborhood hoping, but so am I....

Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins

I AM STUPID (1-0) vs ImPickingARod @5SucitBob (0-1)

It is very impressive that I AM STUPID scores 145 points and would have lost to two teams, and is barely talked about. Also, it is very impressive that STUPID scores that amount of points with D. Johnson not even breaking 20. Look for that trend to change, Johnson is going to get things going this week - but will everyone else keep up their end of the deal?

The biggest question mark in all of fantasy football, and real football: How bad is Aaron Rodgers hurt? See Matchup of the Week and how tweaked out he look in the post game interview. So the real question is, does @5SucitBob roll the dice and play Rodgers or doe he go with backup P. Rivers? I anticipate a swap - Rodgers (if healthy) goes against the Vikings and Rivers would face-off against the Bills. Look for @5SucitBob to be down going into Monday Night Football and Lockett to bring them back and secure this win!

Prediction: ImPickingARod @5SucitBob

Team Dez Nuts (1-0) vs Prible is my B*tch (0-1)

I think there needs to a bet on the line here: If Prible is my B*tch loses, he has to change his team name to whatever Dez Nuts wants - but if Dez Nuts loses, Prible is my B*tch gets to change that team name.

All gentleman agree?

I am not going to give anything away on why I picked who I picked - solely because I want these two gentleman to take that bet.

Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins

Matchup of the Week

Hernandez Hit Men (1-0) vs Hoosier Daddy (1-0)

This is the only matchup that features two undefeated teams - which also means that Hoosier Daddy finds himself in the Matchup of the Week for the 2nd straight week. Let's get to the rosters...

QB: Mahomes vs Wilson
     Normally this position battle would lean towards Wilson because of his experience. However, I am a believer in Khalil Mack and that upgraded Bears defense. Yes, Rodgers was able to torch them on one leg, but did you see Rodgers' post game interview? He was clearly on some happy pills....

But, yes, Mahomes looks poised to take advantage of his offense and the creative offensive sets Kansas City will use to get the playmakers the ball. I give the slight edge to Mahomes, solely because of his supporting cast.

RB: McCaffrey/Gordon vs Gurley/Johnson
     Gurley is the best back this matchup, maybe in football. However, the tandem of McCaffrey and Gordon have to take this one. Gordon is a touch hog - there is much talk going around about Ekeler, but Gordon out-touched Ekeler 24-10. McCaffrey will benefit from the Olsen injury and virtually be the only real threat in the air. The tandem gets the edge in this matchup.

WR: Tate/Landry vs Evans/Fitzgerald
     If names carry any type of weight in fantasy football Evans and Fitzgerald would completely dominate this matchup. Unfortunately for Hoosier Daddy that is not the case. Evans is hoping that Fitzpatrick can keep up the magic - but he is going against one of the top defenses. Fitzgerald also is has a pretty tough matchup against the Rams. The counterpart has Landry who is going against the Saints defense - which just got torched in week 1. Luckily for Hoosier Daddy, Tate is where the ball gets dropped (ba-doop-dish)! Stafford just did not look good against the Jets - and Tate was "outsnapped" by Golladay. I give the edge to Evans/Fitzy even though they have tougher matchups.

TE: Ebron/Burton
     This is a toss-up. Essentially, if you name is not Gronk and you are a tight end - there is a chance you could throw up a dud week or a stud week. I will give the edge to Burton, solely because of how much Luck does like Jack Doyle. Ebron is still working his way up the ranks. It is a flip of the coin, but the edge goes to Burton.

FLEX: Hyde vs Gordon
     This is an interesting matchup at the flex position. Who would have thought, the matchup of the week consists of three starting Browns players. Gordon was just officially named the starter for the Cleveland Browns. I think this game could involve a lot of points - not quite a shootout - and more points on the Saints side of things. Which means the Browns might be throwing the ball more often, not Hyde's strong suit. Advantage = Gordon.

DEF/KICKER: Broncos/Vinatieri vs Ravens/Crosby
     Let be the first to say, Ravens defense is good - but let's not overreact. They did play the Bills and Nathan Peterman for most of the game. Minnesota has a far better offense, with many more playmakers. Do not expect the same result. However, both of these positions are complete crapshoots. Once again, just flip a coin and take your pick. I will go with Broncos/Vinatieri - no real reason as to why.

Prediction: Hernandez Hit Men win a close battle, all thanks to the running backs

I would love for my opposing manager to make his picks - we will start to keep track this week - LET'S GO!!!

Mwah

Week 1 Fruition

What a great start to the NFL season? Let's just get it out of the way right now..... Cleveland will never change!! I mean, is there any other way that game was going to end? Given, the Browns were down 21-7 with just over 7 minutes remaining in the game and they clawed their way back. Props to you Cleveland! However, is anybody surprised that this game ended in a tie? Pittsburgh definitely did not deserve to win, especially after the way that Big Ben played. Holy sh*t, did he look bad! I will end with this..... by the time the Cleveland Browns take the field next Sunday, it will have been 631 days since their last victory!

White Condomints vs Steady Diet

They say that a tie is like kissing your sister. Well, I would rather tie than take the beatdown that White Condomints endured. And yes, I know this week is not over - but seriously?

It was like watching a public proposal where the man was so sure she was going to say yes. He hops down on one knee, pops out that mini ice rink of a diamond and stammers through his word, "Will, will you marr...."

"STOP"

She is pissed. Clearly, this was not something they had talked about. She walks out, infuriated.

This is what it would feel like (for White Condomints) watching the 1 o'clock games. Then the onslaught continues....

You see the man was so confident that he had ordered drinks for everyone in the restaurant and he had even planned a band to come out and play the first song they ever made love to. So not only is he hearing the love ballad without a bride to be, but he also is stuck with a monstrous bill at the end of the night.

This was Tyreek Hill. This was the final gut punch.

As you look at the final box score, please just keep in mind - Steady Diet did not even play Desean Jackson, who had a measly 31.6 points. Yikes! I will say this, Steady Diet should not expect this every week - but man, do the good times keep on rolling for the defending champ!

Prediction: White Condomints wins - WRONG!!

Col. Erran Morad vs Robert 3-Woods

Well, it is safe to say that clearly something went wrong with Col. Morad's team this week. I (and I would assume most people) did not see this poor of a result. It did not help that Fournette was forced out of the game with an injury. It also did not help that Morad traded away James Conner, just minutes before the 1 o'clock games started. How many points did Conner score this week? 34.2 points. How many points did Morad lose by? 33.6 points. Yes, it is more complicated than that - but you get the gist.

The real big hit was Big Ben. Nobody in their right mind would have thought that Big Ben was going to throw three interceptions. However, it is not like Jimmy G did much better. Jimmy also tossed three interceptions and also finished with the same amount of points. The only difference? Jimmy was going against a top defense and Big Ben was going against Cleveland. Woods got a good jump in the week when Ajayi found pay dirt twice in the Thursday night game. He never looked back... but it helps when your opponent doesn't even break 80.

Prediction: Col. Erran Morad wins....WRONG!!

Sagging TD's vs I AM STUPID

This matchup featured more than a few studs this week - especially a few that were on the same NFL team!!

The Saints/Buccs game was destined to be a shootout once Fitzpatrick morphed into his alter ego: FitzMagic. If there is ever a shootout, I want as many players in that game as possible. Brees and Michael Thomas were both apart of the game and both had big performances. Emmanuel Sanders found himself to be the favored target for new quarterback Case Kenum. Gronk is Gronk.

The difference maker? The supporting casts. Fantasy football is all about studs - but when two teams featuring studs run into each other it will always come down to the supporting cast. Derrick Henry dropped the ball in this department. Sammy Watkins did not perform much better. It is going to be hard to beat a team when two of your position players only manage to beat the opposing teams kicker. I AM STUPID managed to avoid the injury bug and get the win - but the bigger question is: Will we see another league divisive trade made from him this week?

Prediction: I AM STUPID wins.... RIGHT!

Mike McCarthy is Gay vs Team Dez Nuts

This one hurts. It really, really hurts. Honestly, it hurts me - not because I feel for the MMIG, it hurts me because I predicted them to win.

MMIG has to be scratching his head, wondering what happened to my running backs? Where did I go wrong with McCoy/Drake/Coleman? The truth of the matter? There is nothing wrong. Drake played in a monsoon and more than likely struggle to get in a rhythm. McCoy had Peterman as his quarterback for most of the game. Peterman might not be able to start my local high school football team - he is BAD! Coleman will see more and more touches as the Falcons begin to realize he is the better back in Atlanta.

On the flip side, Dez Nuts has got to be thinking how did Fitzpatrick do that to my defense? WE ARE ALL THINKING THAT!!! Dez had the top three point scorers in this matchup and still only finished ahead by .7 points. The Saints/Benjamin/Kelce/Collins quartet finished with a combined 1.5 points. Let me just say that 3rd name again - TRAVIS KELCE. Something has got to change for Dez Nuts, because this kind of output is not going to get the job done from here on out!

Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins.... WRONG!!

Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood vs Hernandez Hit Men

This was a dominating performance from Hernandez Hit Men. One owner is convinced that the best team is Hernandez Hit Men - this performance may solidify that. Mahomes looks like he will benefit greatly from the Andy Reid offense. He also looks like he might have the strongest arm in the NFL. It is crazy to think that someone with an arm like that will probably average 3 or 4 "tap passes" a game. Gordon also looks like his going to touch the ball 30+ times a game. The only question HHM has to answer: how is he going to make up for the loss of Delanie Walker.

For Mr. Rodger's had fairly good output from Barkley and Mixon, but this may not always be the case. For one, Mixon managed to tear up the Indianapolis defense. You can count on one hand the number of times that Indianapolis managed to hold a running back under 10 points last season. Mixon definitely took advantage of a great matchup - but how many times is that going to happen? Also, if you remove Barkley's long 68 yard touchdown scamper, he finished with 38 yards rushing and 22 yards receiving - not exactly, tearing it up!

I definitely took a risk in predicting the upset, and it may have ended a little closer if Goodwin didn't get hurt and the Chargers scored -3!

Prediction: Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood wins..... WRONG!!

The J-Bones vs Prible is my B*tch

THE TRADE:

Sometime early in the week a trade was set to J-Bones featuring James Conner. Why do J-Bones? Because he has Le'veon Bell. J-Bones thinks that Bell is going to report and disregards the trade.

At this point, there was still hope that Bell would eventually show up and save the day.

At 12:27 on Sunday, there was trade accepted. I, the commissioner, had no clue about this taking place. This was even more important because in our league the commissioner has been given the power to push every trade through so that it can happen immediately. However, I was currently having lunch with my family and my phone was the charger. This is a problem.

At approximately, 12:43 Mr. J-Bones drives to my house and knocks on my door. He informed of this trade and that it needed to be pushed through. I apologized for not having my phone (which had three missed calls and three unseen text messages). I quickly got on and pushed the trade through.

All is calm on the western front.

James Conner. In a single trade, one team wins (The J-Bones) and one team loses (Col. Erran Morad). Also, one team loses (PIMB) and one team wins (Bobby 3-Woods). This single trade has greatly shifted the outcome of week 1. It also happened to greatly favor one side - this could have potentially greatly divided the league.... potentially. So, congrats to the J-Bones and his willingness to drive to my house and make sure the trade was pushed through in time - you earned this victory!

Prediction: Prible is my B*tch wins..... WRONG!

Matchup of the Week

ImPickingARod @5SucitBob vs Hoosier Daddy

Hoosier Daddy is starting off this season where he left off last season - scoring lots of points! His point leader? Mike Evans. I am fairly positive that not even he was expecting that. Nobody benefitted more from FitzMagic than Mike Evans. Hoosier then rounded out the week with top performances from Gurley and Wilson and solid performances from Fitzger-OLD and Agholor. Not to mention the fantastic decision to have the defense that is going against the Bills and Peterman. Well played sir, well played!

What happened to Cooper? Everyone was high on him, and he is supposed to be the guy in Oakland. Personally, I think the Rams defense is really just that good. Two extremely good cornerbacks and a monstrous front four. However, that is not even the biggest issue for @5SucitBob. What is he going to do if Rodgers is hurt, like hurt-hurt? He may have willed the Packers back into that game and won it for them - many thanks to the Bears offense not being able to get anything going in the 2nd half on offense. Not to worry, @5SucitBob does have Rivers on the bench, so it does seem like all is good in paradise - but is it?

Prediction: @5SucitBob wins..... WRONG!!

SOOOOOOO, clearly not the best week - But.....

To the fans and everybody in the Fantasy Dojo, I'm sorry, I'm extremely sorry. We were hoping for an undefeated season. That was my goal. Something the Fantasy Dojo has never done here. I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any commissioner in the entire country work as hard as I will work the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of the league as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. You will never see a Dojo have more right predictions than this Dojo the rest of the season.

Commissioner
2018 Season

Mwah

Week 1 Matchup and Rankings

It is finally the best time of the year - or at least the best time of September. And the crazy thing is, there are tons of awesome things in September...

1. Labor Day Weekend
2. Yom Kippur - if you are into that kind of thing
3. National talk like a Pirate Day

Also, my birthday is in September and I still look forward to the start of the NFL season way more than the day I peek out of my mother's.......

Yup, we will quickly shift topics and move on to the real meat and potatoes, the kitten caboodle, the cock and balls - THE PREDICTIONS!!!

White Condomints vs. Steady Diet

This is by far the most ironic matchup in terms of names. Our local football team has a running back with the last name of Johnson - a pretty common last name. Well, during week 1 - he happens to have a pretty decent game and our local paper manage to snap a great picture with the following caption...

"Northfield chokes down a steady diet of Johnson."

Yes David, this is real life. This really happened and this was really printed in the paper that was then distributed all over our town. Yes, it says chokes down Johnson. Unreal. Un-effing-real. So, for the match-up we have a team featuring a steady diet of Johnson and a team that is all about contraceptions - hopefully nobody poked any holes in the package!!

This is week 1 and nobody knows really what is going to happen - but if there a few things in life that are certain it is death, taxes, and Hopkins scoring points. Hopkins is matched-up against the Patriots defense, who ranked 29th against opposing wide receivers. This should be a field day for Hopkins - as long as Watson can continue the stretch of MVP caliber play he had before his injury.

As good as Hopkins is week in and week out, Kamara could be just as good - if not better. Without Ingram in the backfield and the Saint releasing backup running back Terrance West (although they are reported to be signing Mike Gillislee to a one year deal) Kamara could be in for plenty of touches. He was one of the most efficient players in all of fantasy football last year and more opportunity will only add to his output.

Prediction: White Condomints wins with Hopkins leading the way!

Fantasy Doctor vs. Robert 3-Woods

This matchup features two teams that managed to find their way near the bottom of the DDA - those rankings will remain under lock and key until the time is right, unless of course you actually decide to be social and make an appearance to watch some football!! Nonetheless, this matchup looks lopsided - at least to my eye....

Roethlisberger has the better matchup (Cleveland) than Jimmy G. (Minnesota). Not to mention, Fournette is poised to have a nice follow up season and Howard is looking to be back to have in Chicago. The only real downside I see for the doctor would be having Howard and Robinson - both players on a Bears offense that ranked near the bottom of the NFL in all things offense last season. Robinson will be a big addition - but he is only a band-aid placed on a broken bone. 

Bobby Woods will be watching closely on Thursday night. He needs have a big game from some of his studs: Ertz, Freeman, Ajayi. If there is not a sizable gap between the two teams after Thursday - Mr. Woods might need to set his eyes on next week or the trade block.

Prediction: Fantasy Doctor wins with Roethlisberger tossing 3 TD's

Sagging TD's vs I AM STUPID

Last season Sagging TD's was ranked last in the DDA and then in the 2 of the first 3 weeks manage to score the highest weekly total. Last season I AM STUPID manage to have an entirely different team week-in and week-out.

This season Sagging TD's is not ranked last, but he does find himself near the bottom. He also finds himself matched up with a team that managed to find one of the top ranks. The difference would be in the depth at the starting positions. There are very few teams that have two starting running backs and two number 1 wide receivers. STUPID fits both those criteria and not fits, but excels in them. Johnson is one of the top running backs in the league and has had plenty of time to overcome his injury. Thomas is the number one wide receiver and favorite target of Brees (who happens to be starting for the Sagging). The one position that could really flip the script in this matchup is tight end.

GRONK. GRONK see ball. GRONK catch ball. GRONK smash ball. However, as good as Gronk is Rudolph has the capability of keeping up with Gronk if he can manage to snag a "sagging td" catch. This matchup shares players on the same team, so it really comes down to which player will take down the eagle's share of the targets....

Thomas vs. any other of Brees options

Cook vs. Diggs and Rudolph

Prediction: I AM STUPID wins and avoids the injury bug this season

Mike McCarthy is Gay vs Team Dez Nuts 

This is a matchup between a team that traded down their 1st round pick for a 2nd and 3rd and a team that was not present during the draft and ended up auto-picking after the 3rd round.

MM is Gay features Thielen and Hogan, both top notch receivers - not too mention MM also has Brady. If the Pats can manage to keep Brady upright against that vaulted Houston defensive front - he could really rack up the connection with Hogan. However, as good as both those option are they are not, and will never be A. Brown. Brown knows how to do one thing - lead the league. He has done it for the past four seasons (in receiving) and the way he does it is to take advantage of matchups that are in his favor. He feasts on Cleveland every season, last season he opened with 11 catches and 182 yards against Cleveland. 

As good as the receivers are in this matchup, it really comes down to the running backs. McCoy and Drake may look shaky - but the reality is that Drake is/was as good as running back out there. Drake lead the league in rushing in the last five weeks of the 2017 season - who cares if the big names were resting!!

Prediction: Mike McCarthy is Gay wins and the Brady/Hogan connection hits for at least one TD

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood vs Hernandez Hit Men

Well, we have a very interesting matchup. A team that I wrote about having the top core foundation against a team that has plenty of question marks all over the starting line-up.

As good as good can get - McCaffrey and Gordon both look like they are THE bell cow on their respective teams. Not too mention, both might end up leading their team in targets by the end of the season. Tate and Landry are a slight drop-off, but still both are number one options on their teams. Everybody knows how much I love Walker at tight-end, I just don't think Corey Davis is the answer at wide-out in Tennessee and Walker will still see his fair share of targets.

Mr. Rodgers features two running backs, one rookie and one second year - that need to have a big year. Honestly, Barkley could touch the football 25+ times each week. The one thing you don't want to look past is opportunity and Barkley will have plenty of them. As untested as the running backs are, the real question marks are in the wide-outs. Hilton is dependent on is Luck is back to normal, if Luck is - Hilton's value skyrockets. Goodwin is ridiculously fast and is also Jimmy G's favorite target. 

What a great core for Hit Men, but what can I say I love a good upset....

Prediction: Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood wins and Hilton/Goodwin speeds through their opposing defenses

The J-Bones vs Prible is my B**ch

This matchup took a nasty turn for the worst on Saturday. One of the strong points for J-Bones was the depth he had at running back, not any more.

R.I.P. Jerick McKinnon

But, as the 49ers move on, so must The J-bones. This puts a lot of pressure on Bell to perform and carry that position on his own. Bell is on a contract year and everybody is anticipating Pittsburgh to get everything they can out of Bell. However, without McKinnon I am not sure The J-Bones can contend with the wide-outs that PimB is throwing out there.

Julio Jones and Odell Beckham Jr. will be getting the lion's share of targets. Jones and Beckham are not exactly known for sharing, which bodes well for PimB. To go along with the wide-outs PimB also has Watson - who played at an MVP caliber before his injury. If he can return to his previous form PimB will be a tough team to beat.

Prediction: Prible is my B**ch wins and Jones and Beckham both score more than 20 points

Matchup of the Week

ImPickingARod @5SucitBob vs. Hoosier Daddy

This matchup features Hoosier Daddy, who didn't win the league last year despite scoring 50 more points than the champion. Hoosier Daddy finished 2nd and @5 finished 3rd, with two gurus like that facing off in week 1 - this matchup was destined to be the Matchup of the Week.

Rodgers vs. Wilson - Rodgers has the clear cut advantage. Chicago defense or Denver defense, which would you rather face? Oh wait, did Chicago just trade for Mack? Chicago is out here making moves - making this not such a huge advantage (still slightly trending towards Rodgers)

Elliott/Lynch vs. Gurley/Johnson - Hands down, an advantage to Hoosier Daddy. Gurley was the number one pick and let's face it Johnson has to be valued higher than Lynch. I think it is close, and Elliott is looking like the only real offense option that Dallas has. However, I have to give the upper hand to Hoosier!

Cooper/Jeffery vs. Evans/Fitzgerald - I think Cooper is primed and ready for his breakout season. We have all anticipated this to happen sooner, but with Crabtree shipped out of town - this has to be the year. Normally, I would say the depth of Evans/Fitzy is better, but I just don't know without Winston playing. I have to give the advantage to Cooper/Jeffery (hoping the prediction of the breakout season happens).

Reed vs. Burton - Simply put, I still don't trust Trubisky. Advantage Reed.

Garcon vs. Gordon - Garcon for week one, Gordon for the year. It is going to take time for Gordon to ease into game plan. The Browns have said that Gordon is available, but he still is not likely to start. On the other side of the matchup, Garcon is the 2nd favorite target of Jimmy G. The 49ers just lost McKinnon and could be facing plenty of opportunity to air the ball out.

Prediction: ImPicking ARod @5SucitBob wins, and if he doesn't change his name I am never picking him to win again!

Mwah

P.S. I welcome any challenger who would like to make their own picks!